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1
00:00:14,161 --> 00:00:18,471
Divina virtute,
in infernum detrude!
2
00:00:18,538 --> 00:00:23,078
Divina virtute,
in infernum detrude!
3
00:00:23,146 --> 00:00:25,046
Oh, God, please save our boy!
4
00:00:25,117 --> 00:00:27,317
Cunning serpent,
you shall no more
5
00:00:27,388 --> 00:00:29,458
dare deceive--
- Dare deceive the human race.
6
00:00:29,526 --> 00:00:31,596
Boring me over here,
Father Cleare.
7
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,611
Get out of him,
you son of a bitch!
8
00:00:35,672 --> 00:00:37,042
Now!
9
00:00:38,678 --> 00:00:40,078
Daddy?
10
00:00:43,386 --> 00:00:45,286
Aw, that's actually
kind of sweet.
11
00:00:48,196 --> 00:00:50,066
Well, that's it,
possession 101.
12
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,073
Okay, you ready?
- I think so.
13
00:00:52,137 --> 00:00:53,407
When I'm inside,
which button do I press
14
00:00:53,473 --> 00:00:54,743
to make him kiss the priest?
15
00:00:54,810 --> 00:00:57,150
Just visualize yourself
going into him,
16
00:00:57,214 --> 00:00:59,294
then bend your knees,
clench your butt cheeks,
17
00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:01,362
open your mouth, and whoosh.
18
00:01:01,422 --> 00:01:02,492
Go on. You got this.
19
00:01:02,559 --> 00:01:04,529
All right.
Let's rock this possesh!
20
00:01:04,596 --> 00:01:05,966
Get inside that little boy.
21
00:01:13,079 --> 00:01:15,079
We can start over.
22
00:01:15,150 --> 00:01:17,560
We can forgive?
23
00:01:20,294 --> 00:01:22,874
Hello?
Is--can anyone hear me?
24
00:01:22,933 --> 00:01:24,673
Oh, I'm doing it.
25
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:26,266
Pee pee poo poo.
26
00:01:26,339 --> 00:01:27,909
- The serpent has returned!
27
00:01:27,976 --> 00:01:29,406
I'll kill you, you bastard!
28
00:01:29,478 --> 00:01:30,948
Okay, bye!
29
00:01:31,015 --> 00:01:32,175
MR. LALISH:
You little motherfucker!
30
00:01:32,251 --> 00:01:34,461
Die, you piece of shit.
- Ow! Daddy, stop.
31
00:01:36,159 --> 00:01:39,599
The um--
the demon must be in me now.
32
00:01:43,406 --> 00:01:45,306
Whoo! That kid smelled
like a garbage truck,
33
00:01:45,377 --> 00:01:46,707
but I loved it.
34
00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:49,550
It takes demons years
to mimic a human's voice.
35
00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:51,260
You did it on your first try.
36
00:01:51,322 --> 00:01:52,762
I want to possess
a baby horse
37
00:01:52,826 --> 00:01:53,956
when it's being birthed.
38
00:01:54,028 --> 00:01:55,128
You could.
- Or a movie star
39
00:01:55,197 --> 00:01:56,527
and do a car chase scene.
Why not?
40
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,240
Or a sex scene
with Regé-Jean Page.
41
00:01:58,303 --> 00:01:59,643
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
42
00:01:59,706 --> 00:02:03,046
I know this shit's a rush,
but you gotta pace yourself.
43
00:02:03,113 --> 00:02:05,253
Come on, let's go home.
44
00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:07,717
Step on me.
- Okay.
45
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:14,536
You go, girl!
46
00:02:14,603 --> 00:02:15,973
Thank you, thank you.
You're too much.
47
00:02:16,039 --> 00:02:17,269
She's a natural.
48
00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:19,981
Aw, come on.
49
00:02:20,047 --> 00:02:21,947
Custody weekend's over already?
50
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,787
Awesome time as always,
Daddy-o.
51
00:02:23,854 --> 00:02:26,834
And next time, I'll teach you
how to turn stuff into spiders.
52
00:02:26,894 --> 00:02:28,304
Pregnant spiders!
53
00:02:28,363 --> 00:02:29,473
BEAST 1: Bye, human girl.
BEAST 2: Bye. Goodbye, now.
54
00:02:29,533 --> 00:02:31,643
Couple more visitations
with my girl,
55
00:02:31,704 --> 00:02:34,514
and she'll be begging to ditch
her mom to live with me.
56
00:02:34,576 --> 00:02:37,406
Then zip, zap, zop,
I'll be back on top, baby.
57
00:02:37,481 --> 00:02:40,321
- Let's get this party started.
58
00:02:41,322 --> 00:02:43,332
- Oh, shit.
59
00:02:43,393 --> 00:02:45,303
Thought it was gonna
be balloons.
60
00:02:45,364 --> 00:02:46,874
Well, don't let the weapons
go to waste.
61
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,374
Start killing each other.
62
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,520
Hey, tell the foreman
if his son looks at me again,
63
00:02:58,591 --> 00:03:00,361
I will shoot him
with my nail gun.
64
00:03:00,427 --> 00:03:02,357
When I yell
fart, you yell face!
65
00:03:02,431 --> 00:03:03,501
Fart!
- Face!
66
00:03:03,567 --> 00:03:04,937
- Fart!
- Face!
67
00:03:05,003 --> 00:03:07,683
Pee pee poo poo.
- Now, this is content.
68
00:03:07,742 --> 00:03:08,912
Okay? Looks great.
- Ugh, God.
69
00:03:08,978 --> 00:03:10,008
See you tomorrow, Bill.
It's fun!
70
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,180
Christina! Dinner! Now!
71
00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:14,391
Well, someone's
extra vinegary today.
72
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:15,785
I control
your bowel movements, Erwin.
73
00:03:15,858 --> 00:03:17,628
Keep making that fucking salad.
- Ooh.
74
00:03:17,695 --> 00:03:19,165
Chrissy's weekend
with her father
75
00:03:19,231 --> 00:03:20,401
is getting to you, I see.
76
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:21,737
Look what he's got her doing.
77
00:03:21,804 --> 00:03:23,774
I-it's devil
in "The Exorcist" shit.
78
00:03:23,841 --> 00:03:26,251
He's turning my daughter
into an evil cliché.
79
00:03:26,312 --> 00:03:27,552
And you're turning
into a cliché
80
00:03:27,615 --> 00:03:29,185
of a jealous ex.
- Chrissy!
81
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:30,721
I will not say it again!
82
00:03:30,788 --> 00:03:32,528
Get back
in your vacant corpse now!
83
00:03:32,592 --> 00:03:35,362
Hey, Laur,
don't you just love it?
84
00:03:35,430 --> 00:03:37,800
Whoo!
Makes you work up a sweat.
85
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:39,839
I might go for a jog
as a deer later.
86
00:03:39,906 --> 00:03:41,806
Animals are more difficult,
but Dad says I'm a natural.
87
00:03:41,877 --> 00:03:43,247
You look thirsty.
- Congrats, honey.
88
00:03:43,313 --> 00:03:44,883
Soon you'll be butchering
the clergy.
89
00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:46,690
Just because I'm having fun
with Dad doesn't mean
90
00:03:46,754 --> 00:03:48,424
you have to lash out.
Don't be jelly.
91
00:03:48,490 --> 00:03:50,030
I'm looking out, honey.
92
00:03:50,093 --> 00:03:51,363
I know your dad's endgame--
93
00:03:51,429 --> 00:03:53,399
to win you over
so he can use your power
94
00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:55,096
to turn the universe
into his hellscape.
95
00:03:55,170 --> 00:03:58,310
Duh. What you don't get
is I'm actually using him.
96
00:03:58,376 --> 00:03:59,906
I know exactly what I'm doing.
97
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:01,920
Oh, Jesus Christ, Chrissy.
No, you don't.
98
00:04:01,984 --> 00:04:03,424
You have evil in your DNA.
99
00:04:03,486 --> 00:04:04,916
Hey, come on,
you're not that bad.
100
00:04:04,990 --> 00:04:06,960
You keep doing
what you're doing,
101
00:04:07,027 --> 00:04:08,297
that evil will spread in you
102
00:04:08,363 --> 00:04:10,033
and the normal life
you said you wanted--
103
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:12,610
friends, school, homecoming,
sleepovers--gone.
104
00:04:12,672 --> 00:04:15,412
You'll be a soulless shell
of a human and become--
105
00:04:15,477 --> 00:04:18,577
honestly, like, a successful
CEO in all likelihood.
106
00:04:18,651 --> 00:04:19,821
So, what,
I should just suppress
107
00:04:19,886 --> 00:04:21,016
an entire side of myself?
108
00:04:21,088 --> 00:04:23,188
You're not Billy Elliot.
You're the Antichrist.
109
00:04:23,259 --> 00:04:24,359
Don't suppress.
110
00:04:24,428 --> 00:04:26,468
Be more conscious
of your choices.
111
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,843
Maybe use your powers
to do some good.
112
00:04:28,904 --> 00:04:31,544
I just wanted to make
the mailman fart!
113
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,020
That went well.
114
00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:36,993
No tests today.
115
00:04:37,054 --> 00:04:38,324
And if you see Chrissy,
116
00:04:38,389 --> 00:04:40,059
tell her that she has
a really cool,
117
00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:41,827
normal-sized forehead.
118
00:04:41,897 --> 00:04:43,367
That's what I want.
119
00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:46,273
And, uh, pee pee poo poo.
120
00:04:46,339 --> 00:04:47,839
"Pee pee poo poo"
is my catchphrase.
121
00:04:47,909 --> 00:04:49,679
That could be
our generation's "Got Milk?"
122
00:04:49,746 --> 00:04:52,416
So what's it feel like
being in someone?
123
00:04:52,484 --> 00:04:53,594
Each body's different.
124
00:04:53,654 --> 00:04:56,334
Right now it's acid reflux
and a deep longing
125
00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:58,002
for someone named Pablo.
126
00:04:58,062 --> 00:04:59,902
Mm.
Hmm.
127
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,536
Like,
how is this evil, you know?
128
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:05,438
Don't you think it's shady
129
00:05:05,511 --> 00:05:07,151
to secretly enter
people's bodies
130
00:05:07,214 --> 00:05:08,484
without their consent?
131
00:05:08,551 --> 00:05:10,191
No, I'm just entering them
real quick.
132
00:05:10,253 --> 00:05:11,493
- Right, sure--
- I mean,
133
00:05:11,557 --> 00:05:13,887
I'm just having fun with people
inside them.
134
00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:17,170
No--well, it's not like
they'll remember it.
135
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,604
Oh, God,
I feel like an asshole.
136
00:05:18,671 --> 00:05:19,871
So what should I do?
137
00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:21,580
Should I stop using
possession all together?
138
00:05:21,643 --> 00:05:23,183
Or, ugh,
maybe my mom has a point
139
00:05:23,246 --> 00:05:24,476
about using it for good?
140
00:05:24,549 --> 00:05:25,989
I mean,
if you're possessing people
141
00:05:26,052 --> 00:05:26,992
for moral reasons,
142
00:05:27,054 --> 00:05:28,794
like to help them
make better choices,
143
00:05:28,858 --> 00:05:30,088
that would be--
- Then I can possess my cake
144
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,260
and eat it too.
145
00:05:31,329 --> 00:05:32,869
Can you actually possess
a cake?
146
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:35,042
Don't you fucking touch that!
147
00:05:35,103 --> 00:05:37,473
No gluten-free options?
You're a fascist.
148
00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:39,682
I'll rip out your heart
and make you eat it.
149
00:05:39,746 --> 00:05:41,976
STUDENT 1: Oh, shit. Oh, no!
STUDENT 2: Yeah, get him!
150
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,450
Ooh.
151
00:05:43,521 --> 00:05:45,191
It was always gonna end
this way.
152
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,257
Now's your chance.
153
00:05:46,325 --> 00:05:47,455
Get that cake!
154
00:05:47,529 --> 00:05:49,499
Fight! Fight! Fight!
155
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:50,866
Wait, wait, wait!
156
00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:52,505
Uh, I, uh--
157
00:05:52,572 --> 00:05:54,282
I-I-I don't dislike
your cooking.
158
00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:56,811
It's me that I dislike.
159
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,520
- Way past that point, asshole.
160
00:05:59,586 --> 00:06:00,816
What the fuck just happened?
161
00:06:00,888 --> 00:06:02,418
I-I'm sorry for taking
162
00:06:02,491 --> 00:06:04,191
your criticism personally.
163
00:06:04,261 --> 00:06:05,971
This is all I have in my life.
164
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,072
I love you.
Aw.
165
00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:09,236
What the fu--
166
00:06:09,305 --> 00:06:10,405
Yes, and I love you too.
167
00:06:10,473 --> 00:06:12,213
Ew.
168
00:06:12,277 --> 00:06:16,317
Yes, and, uh, I'm your mother.
169
00:06:16,385 --> 00:06:18,315
Yes,
and now everything makes sense.
170
00:06:18,389 --> 00:06:20,489
Let's never fight again, Mommy.
171
00:06:20,561 --> 00:06:21,731
Oh, okay.
172
00:06:21,797 --> 00:06:24,067
- Pee pee--
- Poo poo.
173
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,414
What the fuck is wrong
with everybody here?
174
00:06:26,472 --> 00:06:28,682
Holy shit.
That actually felt great.
175
00:06:28,744 --> 00:06:30,214
You're kind of like
a superhero.
176
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:33,950
Nah, I'm just your friendly,
neighborhood Antichrist.
177
00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:36,161
Come back here.
I want to chop you up.
178
00:06:36,225 --> 00:06:37,855
You'll never catch me!
- Okay, Snake with Arms,
179
00:06:37,929 --> 00:06:39,729
any word yet from Jerrup
and The Cootie Realm
180
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,069
swearing fealty to me?
181
00:06:42,538 --> 00:06:43,638
Are you shittin' me?
182
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,037
I'm about to bring
the hammer down
183
00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:46,210
on time and space,
184
00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:47,479
and they're dragging their feet
185
00:06:47,548 --> 00:06:48,848
on kissing my ass?
186
00:06:48,918 --> 00:06:50,188
All right.
187
00:06:50,253 --> 00:06:52,293
Let's head over there and boil
their firstborns alive.
188
00:07:03,847 --> 00:07:05,347
Ta-da!
189
00:07:05,417 --> 00:07:06,487
Hi.
190
00:07:06,553 --> 00:07:08,423
Look who's here. Asmodeus.
191
00:07:08,489 --> 00:07:11,129
Yes! The Grand Demon
of Possessión.
192
00:07:11,195 --> 00:07:12,725
Dark Lord of Ulrich.
193
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,039
King of all the--
- King douche of Crapstown.
194
00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:16,813
Population, you.
195
00:07:16,873 --> 00:07:18,513
Roasted.
196
00:07:18,577 --> 00:07:19,847
This guy used to work for me.
197
00:07:19,913 --> 00:07:22,023
Uh, I possessed
hundreds of thousands of humans
198
00:07:22,084 --> 00:07:24,194
in service of him, okay,
199
00:07:24,254 --> 00:07:26,694
inciting a myriad
of fratricides, holocausts--
200
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,000
Why are you here, Azzy?
201
00:07:28,062 --> 00:07:29,932
You need some cash?
I'm flat out.
202
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,270
Last eve whilst soul-hopping
on the corporeal plane,
203
00:07:33,339 --> 00:07:34,839
what did I behold?
204
00:07:34,909 --> 00:07:38,579
Satan educating his demon semen
in the art of possessión.
205
00:07:38,651 --> 00:07:41,891
Thus here I am
to make good on our deal.
206
00:07:41,957 --> 00:07:43,327
I got lots of deals going on.
207
00:07:43,393 --> 00:07:44,763
What deal are we talking about?
208
00:07:44,829 --> 00:07:47,329
Our contract stated that
once the Antichrist arrives,
209
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:50,111
I would be at the helm
of Maximus Dawnus with you
210
00:07:50,173 --> 00:07:51,813
in exchange
for everything in my name.
211
00:07:51,877 --> 00:07:53,647
And so I relinquished to you
212
00:07:53,714 --> 00:07:56,954
my wife, my land,
my thousands of children.
213
00:07:57,020 --> 00:08:00,930
Now, the Antichrist
has arrived.
214
00:08:00,995 --> 00:08:03,695
Oh, yeah.
That contract wasn't real.
215
00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,567
- Mm. What?
- I made it all up.
216
00:08:05,638 --> 00:08:06,738
Pretty good, eh?
217
00:08:06,807 --> 00:08:08,007
Well, but my lawyer
was present.
218
00:08:08,076 --> 00:08:09,306
You mean this lawyer?
Ay.
219
00:08:09,378 --> 00:08:12,018
Rhett, there you are.
Satan here is trying--
220
00:08:12,084 --> 00:08:13,454
I created him.
221
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:14,520
Wh-what?
222
00:08:14,589 --> 00:08:16,389
But I knew him
for thousands of years.
223
00:08:16,459 --> 00:08:17,629
We wrote a series
224
00:08:17,695 --> 00:08:18,925
of best-selling mystery
novels together.
225
00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:20,627
Yeah, it's called a long con.
226
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,871
- I gave you my family.
- And I got rid of them.
227
00:08:22,939 --> 00:08:25,139
If I had to hear
one more boring story
228
00:08:25,210 --> 00:08:27,650
from that yak farmer
you call a wife--
229
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:29,945
We were to ride
the ashen skies
230
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:31,720
and rule the realms together.
231
00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,560
There was never a "we."
232
00:08:33,627 --> 00:08:36,067
I will be with my daughter,
you dumb fuck.
233
00:08:37,835 --> 00:08:39,805
Aw, I'm a bad widdle boy.
234
00:08:39,873 --> 00:08:41,943
Unhand me, you cretin.
235
00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:44,920
I'll get my revenge, Satan.
You'll see!
236
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,693
You'll all--aah!
237
00:08:47,755 --> 00:08:49,155
Now, let's go boil the babies
238
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:50,534
while their heads are
still soft.
239
00:08:54,168 --> 00:08:55,298
We're through, Jason.
240
00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:57,140
I'm a person, not an appendage.
241
00:08:57,207 --> 00:08:58,707
STUDENT 1: Yeah, Camry.
STUDENT 2: Good for you, girl.
242
00:08:58,777 --> 00:08:59,607
STUDENT 3:
That's what I'm talking about.
243
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:00,919
I'm an ally.
244
00:09:00,981 --> 00:09:02,891
Let's go unionize
the guidance counselors.
245
00:09:02,952 --> 00:09:04,962
I'm late for band.
But maybe I can come over
246
00:09:05,023 --> 00:09:06,633
after my family bike ride
after school
247
00:09:06,693 --> 00:09:08,203
and we can help people
around town?
248
00:09:08,262 --> 00:09:10,402
Like community service?
249
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,437
Oh, my God, I'm in!
250
00:09:14,108 --> 00:09:15,808
If I wanted to hear
about your problems, Sharon,
251
00:09:15,878 --> 00:09:17,878
I would have became a therapist
not a librarian.
252
00:09:17,949 --> 00:09:19,619
One more helping won't hurt.
253
00:09:21,255 --> 00:09:23,185
Just kidding. I'm all ears.
254
00:09:23,259 --> 00:09:25,099
Lunch is on me.
255
00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:27,673
Let's kick this hero shit
in high gear.
256
00:09:52,685 --> 00:09:54,755
Whoa. Whoo-hoo!
257
00:09:58,697 --> 00:09:59,667
Hello, Middletown.
258
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:00,942
I am here to help.
259
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,741
Pee pee poo poo, y'all!
260
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,040
Bonjour, Antichrist.
261
00:10:20,106 --> 00:10:22,746
Now, let's find
the gates of Tartarus
262
00:10:22,812 --> 00:10:26,792
and begin Maximus Dawnus
on our own.
263
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,710
God damn it.
264
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,251
Chrissy, come on.
265
00:10:42,317 --> 00:10:46,327
If Tawnee's mom honks again,
I will make Tawnee an orphan.
266
00:10:49,064 --> 00:10:51,204
Look, I'm sorry
I was harsh before.
267
00:10:51,268 --> 00:10:53,008
It is my job
to look out for you.
268
00:10:53,072 --> 00:10:55,342
And yeah, sometimes I can be
a bit hyperbolic.
269
00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:57,720
But no harm, no foul,
270
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,452
and I'm good to move on
if you are.
271
00:11:00,521 --> 00:11:02,291
- Yes.
- Really?
272
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,957
Yes.
273
00:11:05,029 --> 00:11:06,329
I love you, honey.
274
00:11:06,398 --> 00:11:08,738
And I love you, Mommy.
275
00:11:08,804 --> 00:11:10,884
There's a demon
inside my daughter,
276
00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:12,851
and I know
it's that shitstain's fault.
277
00:11:12,912 --> 00:11:14,312
So when he gets back,
why don't you tell him
278
00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:16,691
he's lost visitation rights
to everything but my katana?
279
00:11:17,822 --> 00:11:19,162
Don't mean to interrupt,
280
00:11:19,224 --> 00:11:21,604
but evil Chrissy just caught
a bird and ate it.
281
00:11:21,663 --> 00:11:23,703
Single motherhood is tough,
ain't it?
282
00:11:25,069 --> 00:11:27,039
Blast these inferior
human tools.
283
00:11:27,107 --> 00:11:28,707
We gotta get this demon
out of Chrissy
284
00:11:28,777 --> 00:11:30,077
before it does harm
to her body.
285
00:11:30,146 --> 00:11:32,176
And then I need to find
her soul, wherever that is.
286
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,790
Oh, we're gonna hustle
the demon.
287
00:11:33,854 --> 00:11:35,964
A little "Color of Money" game.
I like it.
288
00:11:36,025 --> 00:11:37,595
This is a Soul Stang, Darlene.
289
00:11:37,662 --> 00:11:39,132
It knocks souls
out of bodies
290
00:11:39,197 --> 00:11:41,367
with the speed and strength
of a Shinkansen bullet train.
291
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:42,905
I push, you catch.
292
00:11:42,972 --> 00:11:44,412
Ooh, just like
at my sister's home birth.
293
00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:46,384
For the record,
I only dropped the baby
294
00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:48,045
because the blood made her
so slippery.
295
00:11:48,115 --> 00:11:49,415
Caught the placenta, though.
296
00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:53,130
The jar is charged
with a binding spell.
297
00:11:53,192 --> 00:11:54,802
So once the demon
is in the lizard--
298
00:11:54,862 --> 00:11:56,602
Hello, Mommy.
299
00:11:56,666 --> 00:11:58,766
Hello, my wonderful daughter.
300
00:11:58,837 --> 00:12:00,977
Can we drive
to these coordinates?
301
00:12:01,041 --> 00:12:03,181
Funch's Diner
in Kalamazoo, Michigan?
302
00:12:03,246 --> 00:12:04,776
It's not where
the gates of Tartarus
303
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:05,949
are located or anything.
304
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:07,218
It's...
305
00:12:07,287 --> 00:12:09,457
For Earth history project.
306
00:12:09,525 --> 00:12:11,195
We sure can, darling.
307
00:12:11,262 --> 00:12:12,972
Better go put your head
in that bucket of water
308
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:15,142
for 30 seconds,
because as we both know,
309
00:12:15,203 --> 00:12:18,813
that's what human girls do
before a road trip!
310
00:12:18,877 --> 00:12:21,917
Yes.
We both know this very well.
311
00:12:33,607 --> 00:12:35,177
Yello.
312
00:12:39,251 --> 00:12:40,991
I can just come back
in ten, if--
313
00:12:41,055 --> 00:12:42,485
Stay back!
314
00:12:43,727 --> 00:12:45,757
Oh, whoops.
315
00:12:49,672 --> 00:12:52,012
Very clever, Chère-Mere.
316
00:12:52,077 --> 00:12:54,517
It appears the jig
that was once down...
317
00:12:54,582 --> 00:12:55,952
Is now up.
318
00:12:56,018 --> 00:12:57,718
What did you do
with my daughter's soul?
319
00:13:30,286 --> 00:13:32,386
Hello? Who am I in?
320
00:13:32,457 --> 00:13:33,887
Oh, are you kidding me?
321
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,430
I could squat all day
with these knees.
322
00:13:35,496 --> 00:13:37,996
Uh, this feels problematic.
323
00:13:38,069 --> 00:13:39,199
Hey, please be careful
with my body.
324
00:13:39,271 --> 00:13:40,811
I'm more flexible
than I am strong.
325
00:13:40,874 --> 00:13:42,484
A dangerous combination.
326
00:13:42,545 --> 00:13:44,375
You know what would have been
good for the ride home?
327
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,378
Burgers.
328
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,550
Oh, it would have been
yum yum.
329
00:13:46,619 --> 00:13:47,689
What now, buzzkill?
330
00:13:50,126 --> 00:13:52,326
That sick bastard.
331
00:13:52,397 --> 00:13:54,997
Looks like Daddy's
gotta save his girl.
332
00:13:55,069 --> 00:13:57,369
Ew, I got this weird feeling.
333
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,080
What is that? Concern?
334
00:14:00,146 --> 00:14:03,086
Think I need to take a shit.
335
00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:04,892
And so I, Mr. Robber,
336
00:14:04,956 --> 00:14:06,856
have learned the error
of my ways.
337
00:14:06,926 --> 00:14:08,956
Uh, thank--thank you?
338
00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:13,440
Whoo, I'm about to possess
339
00:14:13,507 --> 00:14:14,977
the hell out of my bed.
340
00:14:15,043 --> 00:14:16,913
Good work.
Time to go home.
341
00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:20,150
I am upset!
342
00:14:20,219 --> 00:14:22,159
I'm coming, my children.
343
00:14:22,223 --> 00:14:24,633
- We need answers, Mayor.
- Do something.
344
00:14:24,695 --> 00:14:25,995
Come on, everyone.
345
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:29,765
You didn't elect me
to "answer your questions."
346
00:14:29,839 --> 00:14:31,309
Friends, compatriots.
347
00:14:31,375 --> 00:14:33,875
Talk to me.
Tell me what ails you.
348
00:14:33,947 --> 00:14:35,447
Today I was minding
my business,
349
00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:37,887
when all of a sudden I helped
my disabled neighbor, Craig,
350
00:14:37,955 --> 00:14:39,285
get his cat out of a tree.
351
00:14:39,357 --> 00:14:40,487
I remember you!
352
00:14:40,561 --> 00:14:43,101
Uh, the mayor
remembers everyone.
353
00:14:43,165 --> 00:14:45,295
What a kind deed.
- Kind my ass.
354
00:14:45,369 --> 00:14:46,609
I would never do that
for Craig.
355
00:14:46,673 --> 00:14:47,783
He slept with my wife.
356
00:14:47,842 --> 00:14:49,042
- Oh.
357
00:14:49,111 --> 00:14:50,481
I'm sure Craig saw
your kindness
358
00:14:50,547 --> 00:14:52,377
and was inspired to be
a better man.
359
00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:53,650
Uh, Craig here.
Yeah, I saw it
360
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:55,420
as acceptance
of me sleeping with his wife,
361
00:14:55,490 --> 00:14:57,560
so I slept with her again.
Okay, sir,
362
00:14:57,628 --> 00:14:58,998
that doesn't add up at all.
363
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,804
I threw my trash
in the garbage.
364
00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:02,268
I would never do that.
365
00:15:02,337 --> 00:15:04,437
That's what Big Trash
wants us to do.
366
00:15:04,509 --> 00:15:07,209
Space aliens must have
put chips in us.
367
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,780
- We're in "The Matrix."
- Birds are manipulating
368
00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:09,750
our thoughts.
I can't remember
369
00:15:09,819 --> 00:15:10,949
why I'm upset.
370
00:15:11,021 --> 00:15:13,961
Stop it!
371
00:15:14,027 --> 00:15:15,927
I helped you all
to make better choices,
372
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,098
become better yous,
and this is how you act?
373
00:15:18,169 --> 00:15:20,009
Don't you see you're all
just scared of change?
374
00:15:20,072 --> 00:15:21,412
Suck my ass!
375
00:15:21,475 --> 00:15:23,305
Suck my ass,
you ungrateful turds!
376
00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:24,919
None of you deserved my help.
377
00:15:24,982 --> 00:15:26,122
It's him.
378
00:15:26,185 --> 00:15:27,185
The government's
controlling us.
379
00:15:27,253 --> 00:15:28,293
Down with the mayor!
380
00:15:28,355 --> 00:15:29,725
PERSON 1:
Hey, let's beat him up.
381
00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:31,832
PERSON 2: Beat him up!
Down with the mayor!
382
00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:32,996
I'm naked.
383
00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:35,065
Aah!
384
00:15:36,573 --> 00:15:38,043
Not down with the mayor!
385
00:15:38,109 --> 00:15:39,909
Whoa, what's happening?
386
00:15:39,979 --> 00:15:41,219
Hey, let's beat him up!
387
00:15:41,281 --> 00:15:42,421
Beat him up!
388
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,724
Don't beat him up!
389
00:15:43,787 --> 00:15:45,957
I got this truck stacked
with wicker chairs.
390
00:15:46,024 --> 00:15:47,264
Let's burn him alive!
391
00:15:51,068 --> 00:15:52,838
Ooh, driving
without my lumbar pillow
392
00:15:52,905 --> 00:15:54,735
and I still feel great.
393
00:15:54,809 --> 00:15:57,279
Chrissy? Chrissy?
394
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:58,717
Is that you?
Oh, fuck you.
395
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:01,093
Miss Feinberg,
can we please switch back soon?
396
00:16:01,155 --> 00:16:03,655
I feel weird
being inside your daughter.
397
00:16:03,727 --> 00:16:04,857
Hands where I can see them.
398
00:16:04,929 --> 00:16:06,299
Oh, God, no.
I didn't mean that.
399
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,135
This would all be easier,
dickhead, if you told me
400
00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:09,302
where you left
my daughter's soul.
401
00:16:09,371 --> 00:16:10,711
If you unhand me now,
402
00:16:10,774 --> 00:16:12,984
I shall spare you
when I reinhabit your daughter
403
00:16:13,045 --> 00:16:15,515
and carry out Maximus Dawnus
on my own.
404
00:16:15,584 --> 00:16:19,634
And I will be
the ultimate ruler!
405
00:16:19,692 --> 00:16:22,602
And Satan, the prick,
will be ultimate drooler.
406
00:16:22,665 --> 00:16:24,935
Hey, Laur, this guy's
got beef with Satan too.
407
00:16:25,002 --> 00:16:26,342
You should get some margs
and talk it out.
408
00:16:26,405 --> 00:16:28,675
Aah!
409
00:16:28,743 --> 00:16:29,813
Plug up your brain holes.
410
00:16:29,879 --> 00:16:32,519
The mayor's trying
to get in there.
411
00:16:32,585 --> 00:16:34,185
Where the fuck
did you come from?
412
00:16:36,091 --> 00:16:38,261
Guys, please stop.
413
00:16:38,329 --> 00:16:40,129
Ooh, what is this?
A flash mob?
414
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:42,299
I'm into it.
- What the fuck is this?
415
00:16:42,370 --> 00:16:43,870
Your daughter.
416
00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:45,680
That-that doesn't make
any sense.
417
00:16:45,744 --> 00:16:47,584
Oh, it's soul mitosis.
418
00:16:47,648 --> 00:16:49,278
Her soul's overexerted
from splitting
419
00:16:49,351 --> 00:16:50,791
into too many host bodies.
420
00:16:50,854 --> 00:16:52,224
She's lost control.
421
00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:55,160
And soon her soul
will be spread so thin,
422
00:16:55,229 --> 00:16:57,739
she'll be lost forever.
423
00:17:09,057 --> 00:17:10,527
This is all
her father's fault.
424
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:11,964
If he didn't push her
like he always does--
425
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:14,840
Um, Miss Feinberg,
from your suggestion,
426
00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:16,572
she used her powers for good.
427
00:17:16,639 --> 00:17:19,749
Looks like she got
a little carried away?
428
00:17:19,812 --> 00:17:21,552
So what--ugh!
429
00:17:23,219 --> 00:17:24,619
Get your trash soul
430
00:17:24,689 --> 00:17:25,859
out of my daughter, Azzy.
431
00:17:25,924 --> 00:17:27,604
Satan? You idiot.
432
00:17:27,661 --> 00:17:29,531
That wasn't Azzy.
That was Bennigan.
433
00:17:29,599 --> 00:17:31,799
And now you got me into
this soul-swapping horseshit.
434
00:17:31,869 --> 00:17:33,109
What the hell is a Bennigan?
435
00:17:33,172 --> 00:17:34,272
A good friend
of your daughter's,
436
00:17:34,341 --> 00:17:35,511
Mr. Chrissy's dad.
She didn't mention me?
437
00:17:35,577 --> 00:17:37,577
That's fine.
- That's Azzy in my body.
438
00:17:37,648 --> 00:17:39,418
I'm Darlene
in Bennigan's body.
439
00:17:39,484 --> 00:17:41,294
Oh, I'm not Azzy.
That's Azzy.
440
00:17:41,355 --> 00:17:43,055
- The fuck?
- Wait, now I'm confused.
441
00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,455
Everybody shut up.
442
00:17:44,528 --> 00:17:45,828
I'm sick of this
"Freaky Friday" bull--
443
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,737
That fixes it.
444
00:17:48,803 --> 00:17:50,013
What the hell did you do?
445
00:17:50,072 --> 00:17:50,942
Azzy ran off with Chrissy.
446
00:17:51,008 --> 00:17:52,308
I don't know who's who.
447
00:17:52,377 --> 00:17:54,107
I'm going after her soul.
You get her body.
448
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:55,420
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Calm down.
449
00:17:55,483 --> 00:17:57,553
How's it feel?
Not bad, huh?
450
00:17:57,621 --> 00:17:59,991
I feel
a little like Beyoncé,
451
00:18:00,059 --> 00:18:01,899
but also a little incontinent.
452
00:18:01,963 --> 00:18:04,543
Welcome to the duality of me,
little buddy.
453
00:18:04,602 --> 00:18:06,002
Chrissy?
454
00:18:06,071 --> 00:18:07,611
Mom?
455
00:18:07,675 --> 00:18:10,545
Yes, sweetie. I'm here.
456
00:18:10,614 --> 00:18:12,524
Mom, you were right.
457
00:18:12,584 --> 00:18:14,394
Even when I try to do good,
it turns bad.
458
00:18:14,454 --> 00:18:16,094
I'm evil.
- No, Chrissy.
459
00:18:16,158 --> 00:18:18,428
I shouldn't have said
you'd turn evil.
460
00:18:18,495 --> 00:18:21,295
I've just felt overwhelmed
by your dad being in your life,
461
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,668
so I tried to control you
and I messed up.
462
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:25,310
Mom!
463
00:18:25,376 --> 00:18:27,616
Something's wrong.
464
00:18:28,783 --> 00:18:30,253
Huh?
465
00:18:30,319 --> 00:18:32,189
Where am I?
How did I get here?
466
00:18:32,256 --> 00:18:34,796
Chrissy?
Chrissy, answer me!
467
00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:37,202
Chrissy, you are still inside
of these people.
468
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:38,766
You need to get out now.
469
00:18:38,837 --> 00:18:41,337
She's in cahoots with
the spirits controlling us.
470
00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:42,778
Kill her!
She's a witch!
471
00:18:42,845 --> 00:18:45,345
Well, yeah, technically,
but not in the way you mean.
472
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:49,556
Witch! Witch!
473
00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:51,455
Now,
Delaware Transit Conglomerate,
474
00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:53,169
show me the route
to the Kalamazoo
475
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,602
and the gates of Tartarus!
476
00:18:55,671 --> 00:18:58,711
Take Route 301,
straight up your ass.
477
00:18:58,777 --> 00:19:00,407
Satan, ha ha.
478
00:19:00,479 --> 00:19:02,949
Today is the day you'll rue
taking everything from me.
479
00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,658
I don't rue shit.
480
00:19:04,722 --> 00:19:06,462
Get out of my daughter,
you bum.
481
00:19:09,497 --> 00:19:10,467
Aah!
482
00:19:10,534 --> 00:19:12,044
En garde.
483
00:19:18,415 --> 00:19:20,245
I'll do it, man!
484
00:19:20,319 --> 00:19:21,659
Whoa.
I swear I'll do it.
485
00:19:21,723 --> 00:19:23,463
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Oh, I'll do it.
486
00:19:23,526 --> 00:19:24,826
Azzy, Azzy.
487
00:19:24,895 --> 00:19:26,665
Put the gun down.
488
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,973
This isn't about her.
It's about us.
489
00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:31,167
I-I know I made mistakes, Azzy.
490
00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:32,541
I shouldn't have made
that deal with you
491
00:19:32,611 --> 00:19:34,581
unless I intended
to follow through on it.
492
00:19:34,648 --> 00:19:37,648
I get now what you sacrificed.
493
00:19:37,721 --> 00:19:41,231
Family, it's the one thing
that matters.
494
00:19:41,294 --> 00:19:42,434
Oh.
495
00:19:42,497 --> 00:19:44,937
But I have a family
496
00:19:45,002 --> 00:19:46,712
and you don't anymore.
497
00:19:46,773 --> 00:19:48,783
What? No!
498
00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:55,320
Being a dad sure is something.
499
00:19:55,389 --> 00:19:58,259
Guess it was concern
and taking a shit.
500
00:19:58,328 --> 00:19:59,898
Ugh, this is the one way
501
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,435
I didn't want to die.
502
00:20:01,502 --> 00:20:03,542
Chrissy, there's nothing
I'd love more
503
00:20:03,606 --> 00:20:04,776
than to murder
all these people,
504
00:20:04,842 --> 00:20:06,382
but I know
you're still in there.
505
00:20:06,445 --> 00:20:09,075
You need to fight!
506
00:20:09,150 --> 00:20:11,050
You can't be gone.
No!
507
00:20:11,121 --> 00:20:12,731
You can't be!
508
00:20:12,791 --> 00:20:13,861
You are not gone.
509
00:20:15,897 --> 00:20:18,197
Pee pee poo poo.
510
00:20:18,268 --> 00:20:19,608
Oh.
511
00:20:19,672 --> 00:20:22,342
Pee pee poo poo.
Pee pee poo poo.
512
00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:24,180
Pee pee poo poo.
513
00:20:24,247 --> 00:20:26,517
Pee pee poo poo!
514
00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:29,316
Pee pee poo poo, yeah.
Pee pee poo poo.
515
00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:30,860
That's it, baby, come on.
516
00:20:30,927 --> 00:20:31,697
Pee pee poo poo.
517
00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:34,403
Come on, baby.
Pee pee poo poo.
518
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:37,707
Pee pee poo poo!
519
00:20:45,590 --> 00:20:48,000
Looking for this sack of skin?
520
00:20:48,061 --> 00:20:50,431
Blammo!
521
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,169
- Mom?
- Chrissy!
522
00:20:52,236 --> 00:20:53,606
- There's my girl.
- You're okay.
523
00:20:55,009 --> 00:20:58,379
Oh, God, what did I do?
I really lost myself.
524
00:20:58,449 --> 00:21:00,119
Aw, don't be so hard
on yourself.
525
00:21:00,186 --> 00:21:01,456
I've done that
plenty of times.
526
00:21:01,522 --> 00:21:03,132
You had your first soul binge.
527
00:21:03,192 --> 00:21:04,392
And she's had her last.
528
00:21:04,461 --> 00:21:06,031
She doesn't need
your emotional support.
529
00:21:06,097 --> 00:21:07,897
I've been doing this alone
for 13 years.
530
00:21:07,968 --> 00:21:09,238
Oh, wait,
so you're a single mom?
531
00:21:09,304 --> 00:21:10,774
- Yeah, I am.
- Can we--
532
00:21:10,841 --> 00:21:12,011
can we just go home?
- And y-you know what?
533
00:21:12,076 --> 00:21:14,206
Just get everyone back
in their bodies, okay?
534
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,550
I-I can't take a second more
535
00:21:15,617 --> 00:21:17,587
of this fucking
soul-swapping bullshit.
536
00:21:17,654 --> 00:21:19,424
So we're square, right?
537
00:21:19,491 --> 00:21:21,391
Dinner in two weeks
at my favorite spot,
538
00:21:21,461 --> 00:21:23,301
The Ground Round.
539
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:24,895
I'm buying.
540
00:21:24,969 --> 00:21:27,109
Aw, I'll miss you,
my little friend.
541
00:21:27,173 --> 00:21:29,283
And I you, me.
542
00:21:33,152 --> 00:21:35,392
So an entire store
for just wicker furniture.
543
00:21:35,456 --> 00:21:37,226
How are they even in business?
544
00:21:37,293 --> 00:21:40,103
It's gotta be a drug front.
545
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:42,196
Hey, you're not still
beating yourself up, are you?
546
00:21:42,270 --> 00:21:44,710
What? No.
Mom, I'm good.
547
00:21:44,775 --> 00:21:46,675
This is all part
of growing up.
548
00:21:46,746 --> 00:21:48,976
And I'm proud of you for trying
to do the right thing.
549
00:21:49,050 --> 00:21:51,250
So now you know
what not to do, right?
550
00:21:51,321 --> 00:21:53,231
Yeah, yeah.
You live and you learn.
551
00:21:53,292 --> 00:21:56,202
I get it.
Seriously, I'm totally okay.
552
00:21:56,264 --> 00:21:58,844
All right, then. Coolio.
553
00:21:58,903 --> 00:22:00,373
Hey, I was thinking,
554
00:22:00,439 --> 00:22:02,409
maybe you should join
a club at school.
555
00:22:02,476 --> 00:22:04,146
You know? Or maybe start one.
556
00:22:04,214 --> 00:22:06,424
Something for charity?
557
00:22:06,484 --> 00:22:08,824
Or--or a recycling club?
558
00:22:08,890 --> 00:22:10,460
I don't know, it just--
it might be nice
559
00:22:10,527 --> 00:22:13,627
for you to do some real good.
560
00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:14,800
Yeah?
37152
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