Original subtitles

They don't like it when her shot is late.

No, I understand.

But because I'm new

and taking over for Dr. Stevens,

it's just hard to believe this is my patient.

I mean, the file is so thick, I assumed she was elderly.

She's 47,

she is your patient,

and she needs her Thorazine shot now.

Before I give her her shot,

I really should review her file.

Where did he go,

the--the man

that was just talking to her?

What man?

I need a moment alone with my patient...

please.

What happened to you?

I can taste those martinis from here.

I'm trying a new gin from Japan.

Oh.

I was telling the Uber man about you.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

And he said, if she's such a fancy doctor,

why does she live on a boat like a dropout?

Did you tell him, so I can travel the globe,

searching for home?

I'm your home.

I know.

Hi.

Happy adoption day, my sweet girl.

So, Joey, you're gonna go to sleep.

When you wake up, you'll already be feeling better.

Is it really bad, what I have?

All the grown-ups are freaking out.

I'm a grown-up

and a doctor and your surgeon.

Am I freaking out?

Is Maya freaking out?

I'm definitely not freaking out.

You know why?

Dr. Fielding's made me believe in magic.

She's that good.

I have very good instincts.

And right now, my instincts are telling me

that you're gonna be just fine.

I'm taking this one.

You'll assist.

What? He's my patient.

That's why you're assisting.

The board decided to sit in on a procedure today.

They're interested in pediatrics

and, of course, seeing their chief of surgery in action.

OK, except that I'm worried that position

will worsen his bleed.

I suspect his AVM is above the ventricle.

You suspect?

I know you don't know.

His bleed was so sudden, we didn't have time to image him.

Dr. Keck, I'm just remembering

that AVM of yours last month,

how you put the patient prone, used a far lateral approach.

That was smart. - Is this really the time

to be arguing, Dr. Fielding?

I feel strongly that this is the wrong way in.

I'm concerned if we don't flip him

that he could have another--

Oh, shit. He's got another bleed.

- OK. - Get him on his side now.

Towards you. 1, 2, 3.

Oh, my God.

I told you Keck was a menace.

If you hadn't been there-- - Shh!

Keep your voice down.

I was there, and that boy's gonna be OK, so...

So he operates on adults all day, not children.

So he should have been following your lead

instead of making you tiptoe around him,

trying not to puncture his precious ego.

If I'd openly made him look like an ass,

it would have been much worse.

And that's a win?

How can you be so calm every time he does this to you?

Because getting angry won't help my patients.

Yeah, but it might help you.

Yeah, or get me fired.

No way. If you go, I go.

Listen. Someday I'll have Keck's job.

And when I do and you have my job,

you will never have to do what I just did.

You'll be able to say what you need to say

and be who you are, and it'll be a new day.

And remember,

the slow blade penetrates the shield.

Wait. What does that even mean?

I don't know.

Some guy said it to me in a bar.

Mom.

Hi. What are you doing here?

I was downstairs for my scan.

And?

It's back.

No.

Yes.

I checked on our patient, and, um,

his vitals are steady,

and he's already asking to play "Minecraft."

I hope you told him no video games.

That's a great idea.

I-I--I'll-- I'll remind him of that.

It occurred to me that Daniel Lemle

was in the gallery today, observing us.

Right.

I've been keeping tabs on his company Revenia

and the stem cell work that they're doing,

their trials with cancer patients.

Good for you. Now, I really do need--

Dr. Keck, I-I--um, I have--

I have to ask you for a favor.

My mother has relapsed,

and I just saw her scan, and it's not good.

But Revenia is looking for a research associate.

It's part-time, and it wouldn't affect my schedule here.

So I'd like to apply for the job.

I-I mean, the, um--

the stem cell trial is currently full, but...

maybe we could squeeze my mother in

if I was already there working.

So you know Daniel Lemle.

I thought maybe you could put in a good word for me.

What word would you have me use?

"Hardworking,"

"impressive," maybe, whatever you think.

I think Daniel Lemle is one of our most important donors.

And I'm not sure I could recommend

a doctor who would be applying for his position

for personal reasons.

I would never let the situation with my mom

get in the way of my work.

I think you know me well enough

to know that I'm a consummate professional.

Oh, well, let me ask you something.

When that boy wanted to play "Minecraft,"

you told him right then, no video games?

I...may have mentioned.

And yet just now, you made it seem like you hadn't,

like it was my idea.

I'm gonna be honest with you.

You really can't hide your-- what would you call it--

arrogance, sense of superiority?

You do try.

You make a good show of being deferential.

But underneath, you're always very sure that you're right,

like today in the operating theater.

- I was right. - You were lucky.

You're not ready to take the reins.

I know that's hard to hear,

but I say that for a number of reasons.

You have to be able to lead everybody,

not just your female surgeons and mentees.

Ow.

What? What's the matter?

Oh!

Dr. Keck!

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

Mm, I took the Lord's name in vain four times--

Well... A lot of times.

I gave Sister Sarah the finger

when her back was turned-- again.

What about the man?

I hardly ever see him anymore.

Deirdre...

lying is also a sin.

I guess he has always been around,

even since before my mother died,

which makes him like family,

only way better,

because you know how crazy my aunts are.

So... I'm grateful to him.

Even when I was little,

he always knew what I was feeling.

He actually cared about me.

But now that I'm older, I don't need him anymore.

I hope that's true.

Ten Our Fathers, three Hail Marys,

one Act of Contrition--

not that you'll do any of them.

Stop it.

Stop it now.

Girls, to steal flowers off the altar

is a cardinal sin.

We didn't steal them.

They just blew into our arms.

Girls, stop it.

I was just talking about you to Father Duffy.

Don't believe a word he says about me.

Deirdre!

They're all in your hair.

Deirdre!

Oh, she doesn't listen. She doesn't.

You never listen.

How many times have I told you

not to encourage him?

Thousands, and yet you refuse to obey me.

I didn't ask him to come.

Why can't you see that I am trying to protect you?

Just go to your room

and think about what you've done.

We'll go there someday.

You've been saying that since I was ten years old,

and here I am.

Mm.

She locked you up because of me,

and now you're angry.

She treats me like a child--

that's no surprise-- but so do you.

Because you are a child.

No, I'm not.

You're behaving like one,

pouting in your room,

throwing a temper tantrum.

Because I don't want to play your games anymore.

You know how I feel about you...

and you know what I want from you.

We both know it's impossible.

When your mother was your age,

on a night like this,

she'd pull out the dress she had hidden

in the back of the closet,

disappear down the trellis to a party.

There's always a party at your uncle Cortland's.

But that makes no sense.

I know it doesn't make sense,

but suddenly...

I was picturing Keck's brain,

like, I mean, his actual artery

pumping blood.

And--and then he collapsed.

I'm sorry that Dr. Keck is in the hospital,

but I don't see what that has to do with you.

Because you're not listening to me.

What, the sci-fi part of the story?

You didn't see inside his brain

or shoot rays from your head into his head.

I didn't say rays.

Mom, please, listen, Mom.

Remember Lucy Stone from second grade?

They said that she'd had a seizure.

But what I remember is seeing inside her head,

and then she collapsed.

Are you serious?

If I read his medical report and it says that he ruptured

his left internal carotid artery,

which is what I saw when I was--

I saw--but...

maybe I didn't see it.

Maybe it was just some neurological event,

or it's some genetic condition.

But, then, I'd need to know my genetics to diagnose that.

And I don't know my genetics. - Please.

- Do I? - Please, not this.

But if I knew who my parents were,

then I would know what I came from,

and I would know who I am.

And then maybe I would understand what happened.

You know how hard I have tried

to find your birth parents.

There is nothing we can do about a closed adoption.

The agency will not open the records.

I-I'm sorry.

I'm here to comfort you.

Huh.

You're doing a wonderful job.

You know what I would like right now?

Hmm.

Is a strawberry milkshake

from In-N-Out out on Jefferson.

And I've got some money in my purse.

I have a job, Mom.

I can get you a milkshake.

Can you hand me my purse anyway?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Thank you for being with me today.

I'll be back.

This is the New Orleans office.

I need to speak to the person

who is assigned to my daughter's file.

I'm sorry. I don't have his name.

Who's calling?

Elena Fielding.

My daughter is Rowan.

Fielding, OK.

Let me check if there's an agent

assigned to your file.

Hold for a moment.

There is an agent,

but he's not here right now.

I can get him a message.

Please tell him that my daughter--

that she thinks that she has harmed someone with her mind.

Did she harm someone with her mind?

I think she might have.

So what I need is for this agent

to go and see if something is different--

in New Orleans, I mean.

I need to know if something has changed.

Hey.

Sapporo? Shot of Tito's?

Both.

Bad day?

Hard to describe.

When's your shift over?

Sorry, Ro, not tonight.

I've got a date.

Yeah, with me.

No.

With someone who won't kick me out before breakfast.

I'm not a breakfast person.

♪ Well, I am just a monkey man ♪

♪ I'm glad you are a monkey woman too ♪

♪ I was bitten by a boar

♪ I was gouged and I was gored ♪

♪ But I pulled on through

- Hey. - Hey.

For you, on me.

The kindness of strangers.

Can I get you anything?

Yeah, you can get me out of here.

OK.

Um, how about I get your name first?

♪ Well, I am just a monkey man ♪

♪ I'm glad you are a monkey, monkey ♪

♪ Monkey woman too, babe

I can't believe you'd really have fucked

that clown back there.

Why, Ro?

For months, I've been watching you from behind the bar,

this revolving door of guys.

It's got to be so lonely.

Why are you watching me?

We're friends.

I like you.

Well, for one, I bring guys like that home

because they don't lie next to me

and hound me with questions.

Is it an only-child thing?

Why don't we try head-shrinking you

for a minute?

What exactly is it you're looking for,

your one true love?

Fuck you.

No, I-I think it's sweet.

I actually--when I was a kid, I remember

feeling something like that.

I had this...

weird idea that my shadow was this...

being that was somehow...

part of me.

And he--uh, it seemed like a he.

He was someone who knew what I was thinking,

and he knew my most secret secrets.

And...

he loved me, and he always had.

So you do know what I'm talking about.

I'm sorry I can't be more to you, Max.

But you know what?

I am here now, so...

What?

Hey.

Hey, you canceled your date for this.

I hope you find him.

Oh, my goodness.

No, no, no, not the pinkie, not yet.

Oh, we don't want to rush things along, Thomas.

After all, the evening is so young.

Mm.

Ooh!

Don't--don't hog the beauty.

Come on.

Mr. Cortland.

So beautiful.

- Mr. Cortland. - Mm.

Sir, the young gentlemen have arrived.

Ah, good.

Well done. - Thanks.

Well, now, I think we have a winner.

Young man...

I have a job for you.

Nice to see you too.

Hey, there he is.

Is that really you?

You escaped?

Yes.

Deidre, what a happy surprise.

You look just like your mother.

All grown up.

- Thank you. - Mm.

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

Oh, not for you, cher.

Uncle Cortland.

No, for you, only the best.

You can't imagine the number of times

I've driven by your house and thought

I should stop and throw stones at your window,

try to get you out of there.

I wish you had.

Well, I'm sure it would only make more trouble

between you and my sisters.

So here's to you,

here at last

and such a delightful surprise.

Hmm, I am so glad you're wearing this.

You know, this belonged to your mother.

The aunts never talk to me about my mother.

Aw, well, now, they are wicked.

The worst kind of wicked.

Well, here's what I remember.

Your mother was full of life... and mischief.

When she'd laugh, it was like

fireworks lighting up the sky.

And she was funny

and so beautiful.

Course, she paid for her high spirits.

I don't believe she jumped from the balcony.

You might be right.

And I want you to promise me

you'll be careful.

Hi.

I'm Patrick.

My friend from the other room

dared me to ask you to dance, so...

Sure, go ahead. Dance. Have fun.

That's what we're here for, isn't it?

Go on.

Don't forget to leave a glass slipper, cher.

Patrick?

Miss Mayfair, your aunt is here.

She's insisting you come downstairs right away.

Hello?

This is Ciprien Grieve.

I'm the agent in charge of your daughter's file.

Oh.

Thank you so much for calling me back.

I-- - I'm at the house now,

the house on First Street in New Orleans?

I see.

Uh...

I guess I was just wondering if...

anything has...

been disturbed or--or different.

Well, if you're asking if the man is here,

I don't see him, but...

I can feel him.

He's very near.

So this is-- This is good news.

He's here. Your daughter's there.

2,000 miles between them.

So...

you can breathe a little easier, right?

For now,

but time is running out for me.

I need to know

what's gonna happen the next time you call me

and no one answers.

I need to know who is going to keep my daughter safe,

Mr. Grieve.

I will.

I'm the one that will keep your daughter safe.

Let's take a deep breath.

Feel the air in our lungs.

Celebrate, for a moment,

the great gift of life, huh?

Come on.

Ah, felt good, didn't it?

I don't know about you, but...

I'd like to keep doing that for another, oh, I don't know,

twenty, thirty...

thousand years.

I'm Daniel Lemle, CEO of Revenia Research.

And here at Revenia,

we believe death is encoded.

If there is a code,

we can crack it.

And if we can crack it,

then we can hack it.

Before I go,

take a moment and look at each other.

See, you...

are the first generation of human beings

that just might live forever.

Did you like my speech?

Hi. I did.

I just--I hadn't put together that the position

I applied for is part of longevity research.

Oh, you could see the overlap, of course.

I mean, cure cellular malfunctions in humans,

and you've eliminated almost all the reasons we croak.

I did wonder, though,

why does a hotshot neurosurgeon

who studied microscopy and gene sequencing

end up looking for a research gig here?

Then I learned about your mother.

I make calls for all prospective hires.

It's OK.

Of course you want your mother in one of our trials.

I get it.

When I first got to Revenia,

I put my wife on the board, and all hell broke loose,

the other board members screeching about nepotism.

She wasn't qualified, no added value--

I mean, on and on.

What did I say back to them?

Fuck off.

Well, I-I do want my mother in the trial.

I think she's a suitable candidate,

and--and I don't think that there's anything wrong

with being personally motivated to--to want a job.

And I think--I think it'll make me work harder.

My point exactly,

which means my hunch about you was right.

Now, come downstairs,

and I can show you where you'll be working.

Wait. I--so I-I got the job?

Come on.

The hours will be long, and I need to know now

how that's gonna fly with the husband,

boyfriend, kids.

None of the above.

All right. Check it out.

It's a Rodin.

I got a great deal at a private auction.

Do you like modern art?

You know, Judy Chicago has some kind of performance piece

at the de Young tonight.

My wife's busy, and I have an extra ticket.

I can't tonight, but I, um--

I'll get in touch with HR to get my paperwork started.

And I have all my mom's records with me.

The--the tough thing with the trial is,

we only have so much room, of course.

I'll have to rejigger things to get your mom in,

which I'm happy to do.

I do have a reputation for being tough.

If you work here, you got to run with the boys--

and the girls.

You got to think like a killer, yeah?

Metaphorically, of course.

I know a lot of doctors who are killers

and not just metaphorically.

So...

pick a name.

Let's get your mom in this thing.

- Pick a name? - There's 30 slots.

We already have 30 patients.

It doesn't matter to me which patient your mom replaces.

I'm sure you can just add my mom to the list

and--and make it 31.

I'm sure you haven't dealt with the FDA before.

They're Nazis about this stuff.

30's the number, so...

go on, pick a name.

Please don't do this.

This is my mother's life,

and she's--she's all that I have.

But I can't just pick a name. - Dr. Fielding.

Those are just names in a trial.

Cross one out.

Don't get tangled in the minutia, huh?

You mean patients.

Look.

You got a job to do.

I got a company to run.

Pick a name.

If my mother saw me pick a name,

she would drop dead on the spot

way before the cancer could kill her.

I can't pick a name.

Don't tell me my hunch about you was wrong.

I hate being wrong.

Because someone like you is never really wrong, are they?

After all, you're so powerful.

You're so special.

All right.

Maybe, uh--

yeah, maybe you don't get what we're doing here.

I know what I'm doing here.

I'm pretending that I find you interesting,

pretending that I think you're smarter than me,

pretending that I admire you, but I don't admire you.

In fact, I see through you to the small, needy man-child

with the raging ego,

the dupe who overpays for a fake Rodin,

the bully who can only feel good about himself

if everybody else is minutia.

You think that you should live forever. Why?

So that you can piss in front of more women

or play God with cancer patients' lives?

Or maybe you think that you should never die

simply because you're such a dazzling gift to the world,

so busy changing it.

What is it?

What happened?

Mom, it happened again,

just like it did with Keck and Lucy Stone.

Ex-except this time, I lost my temper and I made it happen.

Rowan, I cannot hear this.

I have to face it.

I have to face what's happening.

There's something really wrong with me.

I have some--some kind of--

of monstrous power.

Rowan.

Rowan, I am tired.

I cannot hear this nonsense.

You do not have a power.

Listen to me.

You have got to get ahold of yourself.

You cannot give in to this twisted thinking.

It is dangerous.

And I will not spend my last days worrying

that you are gonna get sucked into some sick delusion.

Rowan...

just be with me.

That's all I'm asking.

That's all I want.

OK.

Deirdre, it's Father Duffy.

You need to open the door right this minute.

So this boy...

Patrick.

He hasn't called or visited you?

He can't visit because he's dead.

The body that they carried out,

it was him.

You don't know that.

I know what I know.

Aunt Carlotta, she killed him

because he made me happy.

She was there when they took his body away.

Deirdre...

how can I help you when you tell tales like this,

a crazy story about your family killing a boy?

I'm not lying, and you know I'm not.

You know the awful things that happen in this family...

in this house.

Weren't you the one they called

when my mother was pushed from the balcony?

She jumped...

because she was in such pain and turmoil,

God rest her soul.

And now I'm worried for your soul,

for the soul of your child.

I can't help but think there was no boy at that party,

that this has happened because of the man.

He didn't do this.

I haven't seen him since that night.

Father, please,

I have to get out of here...

before something even worse happens.

Please... help me.

The surest and truest help I know comes from God.

Will you at least pray with me?

You're scared of them...

Like everyone else.

Just go.

Go!

Darling...

No.

Lasher.

You know where to find me.

Dear God, the darkness is here.

The darkness is in her,

that sweet, beautiful girl.

It's growing in her.

I fear for her and for her unborn child.

Oh, dear God, I fear for us all.

I fear what we may have to do.

Give me one good reason to live.

That baby is coming.

She will change everything.

She will change your life forever.

She won't.

She will be stuck with them, just like I am.

And you can't take us away from here.

Yes, I can.

I'm yours already.

The necklace you wear, it binds us together,

Ah,

but only because your mother made that choice for you.

Now you're old enough to make that choice for yourself...

To bind with me of your own free will.

So take it off.

And I will show you.

I will show you who I really am.

And if you're strong enough to face this...

I will be yours entirely,

yours to command.

Do you want to see who I truly am?

I do.

I am everyone.

I am no one.

I'm a saint.

I'm a demon.

Will you take me, Deirdre?

Will you take me to be yours forever?

You are my witch now.

May the Lord who frees you from sin

save you and raise you up.

♪ You only hear

♪ What you want to hear

♪ Take my heart as a souvenir ♪

I wanted so badly to save her.

Of course you did,

but these things are not in our hands.

They're in God's.

What you did do

is love your mother with all your heart.

It's a girl, isn't it?

I want to see her.

She needs to see the doctor first.

No! Carlotta!

No! Bring her back!

No!

Carlotta, no!

♪ You're losing

♪ Hands fall limp

♪ And I drift off

♪ Learning how

♪ To speak again

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh

Here are the rules.

You will change your name.

You will no longer be a Mayfair.

You will never return here.

You will never call.

And most importantly,

this baby can never, ever know who she is.

It would be too dangerous for this family and for her.

Whatever you say, Aunt Carlotta.

♪ When I feel small

What's her name?

♪ You hold me

Deirdre wanted to name her... Rowan.

♪ Closely

♪ Looking through

♪ The stained glass window

Rowan.

♪ You might catch something ♪

Hi.

♪ Holy too

♪ Oh, oh, oh

A malformed heart.

The doctor said she couldn't have survived.

He's going to come and give you a shot to help you sleep.

♪ Oh, oh, oh

Ah, poor thing.

Have you been trying to get this off?

There.

You and I...

Are gonna share a little secret.

I'm not gonna give you the Thorazine shot today.

And I'm not gonna give it to you tomorrow.

But I will come every day,

because what I really want to know

is who you are without the drugs.

I want to know who Deirdre Mayfair really is.

Lasher is on the move.

I need to call Rowan Fielding's mother.