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1
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Hey, Red, I've got a question for you.
2
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,760
My wife says she doesn't want
anything for Valentine's day.
3
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,040
So I'm off the hook, right?
4
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,240
Let me tell you a little story.
5
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,600
There was a woman, a newly-wed.
6
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And she told her husband,
7
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rather then waste money on gifts,
8
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save for retirement.
9
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And so he never bought her a gift.
10
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Not for Christmas, birthdays... never.
11
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,880
And 50 years later,
12
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she thanked him.
13
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,080
And you know who that woman was?
14
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:36,360
No.
15
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:37,560
That woman ...
16
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,840
was the invisible dancing fairy of dumb-ass land!
17
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All women want gifts.
18
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:49,480
Well ...
19
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what do you get a stripper anyway?
20
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,320
Oh, how about a robe
and a father who gave a damn?
21
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,200
Mrs. Forman, life's a trade off.
22
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,680
If her father gave a damn,
I wouldn't have this smile on my face.
23
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,200
Well Steven,
24
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,280
it is important to keep romance alive
once you're married.
25
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,800
That's why I bought a present for Red
and I'm sure he has one for me.
26
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,760
Because he loves me and
he knows what I'm capable of.
27
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,360
That's right honey!
Wait till you see what I got you!
28
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,560
You romantic little devil you!
29
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:28,760
Not hardly.
30
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,120
Follow me rookie.
31
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,960
Ever since I forgot Kitty's birthday that one year,
32
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I keep a stash of gifts down here.
33
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That way, even if I forget, I remember.
34
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Go ahead, I'll spot you one.
35
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Oh hey,
36
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,400
these woolen mittens'd be perfect for Sam.
37
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:52,960
If only they were black,
38
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leather and a bra.
39
00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:58,800
So what are you giving Kitty?
40
00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,960
Ahh this needlepoint.
41
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,800
She'll like it because it's fun
42
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,840
and I'll like it because
it'll keep her occupied
for gigantic chunks of time.
43
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,840
Jackie dear, uhh,
44
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:17,040
thank you for booking that lovely couple
on our Fools For Love piece.
45
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:19,720
That guy was so cute.
46
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:24,200
You know he said no matter where he went.
He always heard his wife's voice saying "I love you".
47
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:29,760
Well apparently another voice in his head
told him to push her off a Ferris wheel.
48
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,240
Oh my God!
49
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,240
Oh no no no no no, that's horrible!
50
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,680
It's a tragedy!
51
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,080
We don't have a couple for today's show.
52
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,920
You've got three hours
to find another one or you're fired.
53
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,920
Oh I'm just kidding ...
54
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:49,960
No I'm not.
55
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,960
Seriously Jackie, just kidding about firing you.
56
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,000
Christine St. George's office.
57
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,640
I wasn't kidding.
58
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,880
Psssst Jackie! Come here!
59
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,240
Ohhhh. What do you want?
60
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,240
I wanted to say: don't worry.
61
00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:16,760
It'll all work out between you and Christine.
62
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,280
Well thanks.
63
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,200
Christine St. George's office.
64
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,697
You're gonna get fired!
You're gonna get fired!
65
00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:12,700
Hey, Record Guy...
66
00:04:14,180 --> 00:04:15,380
Mr. Record...
67
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:18,220
Mr. Record Breaker...
68
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,660
Captain Record of the U.S.S. Phonograph.
69
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,140
Donna, Hyde's already given me a nickname.
70
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It's Mrs. Lady-Lovely-Locks.
71
00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:32,340
Okay.
72
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:34,700
Mrs. Locks. Uhm...
73
00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:37,500
I was wondering if maybe you'd like to...
74
00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:38,620
I don't know, like ...
75
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:41,580
do something with me tonight for good old VD?
76
00:04:42,180 --> 00:04:43,180
Valentine's Day!
77
00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:48,700
Not VD!
78
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:51,540
I am clean as a whistle!
79
00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:54,660
Man it's uh,
80
00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:56,540
it's really nice of you to ask but
81
00:04:56,540 --> 00:04:58,020
I've already got plans with someone else.
82
00:04:58,060 --> 00:04:59,060
Maybe a rain check.
83
00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:01,300
Sure. I love rain checks.
84
00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:04,140
In fact, I love checking for rain.
85
00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:06,820
I'm gonna go check for rain right now.
86
00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,100
That's the office, here's no rain in there.
87
00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:16,940
Clear out here too!
88
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:24,260
Oh. Fez!
89
00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:27,260
I have to find a happy couple
for Christine to interview today or I'm fired.
90
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:28,780
What about Red and Ms. Kitty?
91
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:34,500
Ugggg, I might as well book that painting of the old lady
and the geezer with the pitchfork.
92
00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:38,540
Ah I see where you're going with this Jackie, and don't worry,
93
00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:41,420
if it will save your job,
I will pretend to be your boyfriend.
94
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:43,980
We should probably practice.
95
00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:45,900
Oh! Get off me!
96
00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:46,860
I was trying to help!
97
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:48,300
You were trying to cop a feel!
98
00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:49,660
You didn't let me finish.
99
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,300
I was trying to help ...
myself to a handful of your boob.
100
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:57,740
But I would like to help.
101
00:05:58,260 --> 00:06:01,140
No, Fez.
If Christine finds out we're faking it, I'm fired.
102
00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:02,580
I can see all that, baby.
103
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:03,780
Besides,
104
00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:06,140
interracial couples are sexy.
105
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,060
Because it's illegal.
106
00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:15,140
Fez, it's not illegal
for people of two different races to date.
107
00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:16,060
It's not?
108
00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:19,900
Freaking Hyde!
109
00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:23,700
Hey.
110
00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:24,140
Hey.
111
00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:30,300
Look, I just wanna make sure
you didn't get the wrong idea when I asked you out,
112
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:33,180
because I was asking you out as like... as friends.
113
00:06:33,580 --> 00:06:35,300
Well, I'm glad you consider me a friend,
114
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,820
cause when I said I had plans earlier,
actually I have a date.
115
00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:41,660
And I was thinking maybe you could help me out
and give me some advice.
116
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,220
You know, from the female perspective.
117
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:46,540
I'd ask my cousin but she's kinda into me,
it's weird.
118
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:49,820
Sure, yeah. I mean what do you have planned?
119
00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:54,460
I was thinking ... we start sweet,
with... strawberry wine.
120
00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:59,100
Then, we get a tad naughty with Dirty Word Mad Libs.
121
00:07:00,060 --> 00:07:02,020
And then, hold on ... what's this?
122
00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:05,500
Tickets to the Monster Truck Mud Mayhem!
123
00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,220
Wow Randy, that sounds like a great idea.
124
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:12,420
If you're dating Granny from the Beverly Hill Billies.
125
00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:18,540
It's just..there is something
I don't like about the usual roses,
fancy dinner and theater tickets.
126
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:19,460
It's so ...
127
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:21,220
expensive.
128
00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:24,380
Hey Leo,
129
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:26,740
what is you idea of a romantic date?
130
00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:29,460
November 13th.
131
00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:35,220
But this year is ruined, man.
I gotta go to the dentist.
132
00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:45,460
Well I hope you two lovebirds are ready
to tell us all about your relationship.
133
00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:46,460
We sure are.
134
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,780
We've been dating so long,
we finish each other's...
135
00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:50,340
...Sentences.
136
00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:53,220
Well, I was going to say sandwiches but whatever.
137
00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:55,180
Okay, here we go.
138
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,500
What's Up, Wisconsin?
139
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:05,220
It's time for our annual "Fools For Love" segment
140
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:06,940
and with me today
141
00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:12,220
is my assistant, Jackie Burkhart
and her boyfriend, Fez...
142
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:16,140
How do you pronounce your last name?
143
00:08:16,460 --> 00:08:19,100
Oh, the first five Ks are silent.
144
00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:23,500
See how they look at each other!
145
00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:27,540
Hm. It's just the way Sonny used to look
at me while Cher was in make-up.
146
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,020
So... tell us how you two met.
147
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:34,460
Well uhm...
148
00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:35,900
I'll take this one baby.
149
00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:37,820
It was the third grade.
150
00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:39,580
Jackie came to school with pink-eye.
151
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:41,940
All the kids teased her, so ...
152
00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:44,260
I rubbed her eye and infected myself.
153
00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:46,340
So she wouldn't be alone.
154
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,140
I guess you can say it was love at first sight!
155
00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:51,900
Pink sight that is.
156
00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:58,620
Well I'm sure my viewers are dying to know
the secret of your happiness.
157
00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,020
It's very simple.
158
00:09:01,180 --> 00:09:02,860
We make out every chance we get.
159
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,260
Kiss me baby!
160
00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:07,180
Nooooo! No no baby baby, I ...
161
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,100
I have a cold sore.
162
00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:12,740
Well baby, that wouldn't be the first time
I got a disease from you baby.
163
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,900
No no baby, I just... I ate some garlic bread.
164
00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:19,460
Oh baby that's perfect!
I just ate spaghetti, baby!
165
00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:20,820
Oh. Baby....
166
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:21,380
Baby.
167
00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:21,940
Baby.
168
00:09:21,940 --> 00:09:22,420
Baby.
169
00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:22,900
Baby.
170
00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:23,300
BABY!
171
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:25,180
Come on Jackie.
172
00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:27,900
Give your man a Valentine's Day kiss!
173
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:39,300
Call the fire department!
174
00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:42,180
You can't fake passion like that.
175
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,740
We'll be right back.
176
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,140
Well, that was terrific.
177
00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,460
Jackie, thank you,
you acted yourself darling.
178
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:58,980
And Fez ...
as usual I didn't understand a word you said.
179
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:03,100
Fez! We did it!
180
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,820
Oh you totally saved my job.
181
00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:08,940
Yes. And you totally were not kidding
when you said you ate garlic bread.
182
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:18,460
There's my Valentine.
183
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,500
See, now. The card is a heart,
184
00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:27,340
actually it's your heart,
and it's saying: "Hi Red, remember when I attacked you?"
185
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:32,140
It's a reminder to cut back on fatty fried foods.
186
00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:34,860
Well that's real cute.
187
00:10:35,140 --> 00:10:35,940
I'll tell you what,
188
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:40,420
you close your eyes and start counting
and I'll be right back with your gift!
189
00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:42,460
1 ...
190
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:43,460
2 ...
191
00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:44,460
3 ...
192
00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:45,700
4 ...
193
00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:51,500
What the hell!
194
00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:57,740
Oh Nooo!
195
00:10:59,300 --> 00:10:59,820
23 ...
196
00:11:00,380 --> 00:11:01,140
24 ...
197
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:02,620
25 ...
198
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:03,980
26 ...
199
00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:06,060
27 ...
200
00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:07,100
28 ...
201
00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:08,620
29 ...
202
00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:09,820
30 ...
203
00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:10,820
31 ...
204
00:11:11,260 --> 00:11:11,940
32 ...
205
00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:13,140
33 ...
206
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:33,220
Mrs. St. George, are you okay?
207
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:38,340
Yes, it's ...
this happens to me every Valentine's Day.
208
00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:41,300
I see a couple in love
209
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:48,100
and it reminds me that I am missing the one thing
that every woman needs to feel good about herself.
210
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,180
A friend that is fatter then you?
211
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:53,740
Love!
212
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:56,780
I sacrificed love for my career and
213
00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:01,020
sometimes I think I maybe did the wrong thing.
214
00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:04,060
Have a drink with me.
215
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,260
Really?
216
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,780
Tell me all about yourself.
217
00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:13,940
Who you are, what makes you tick.
218
00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:16,860
Well, uhm....
219
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:17,340
No.
220
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,220
Let's go back to me.
221
00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:24,980
I was born in a small hamlet,
222
00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:29,420
just outside a little place I like to call New York ...
223
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:36,460
...And so I returned safely to base-camp.
224
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:40,700
That half-frozen sherpa on my back.
225
00:12:42,580 --> 00:12:45,460
There is a famous Tibetan folksong about it.
226
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,100
Wow. You're incredible.
227
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,660
So are you.
228
00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:53,940
Here's to you dear.
229
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,300
No. To you Ms. St. George.
230
00:12:57,260 --> 00:12:59,780
Well, that's what I meant.
231
00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:04,900
Why on God's green earth would I drink to you?
232
00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:07,660
You're cut off.
233
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:14,580
So do I look okay?
234
00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:17,580
Just wanna make sure
my outfit doesn't send the wrong message to my date.
235
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,460
Okay, what message are you trying to send?
236
00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:22,100
I'd like it to say:
237
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,740
Hi, my name is Randy.
238
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:26,460
I'm a fun-loving, yet slightly naughty guy.
239
00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:29,260
The little boy in me is insecure,
240
00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:30,540
but the man in me is cocky,
241
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,860
giving me a playfully heady mix of humility
242
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:34,820
and aloofness.
243
00:13:36,260 --> 00:13:36,940
I like you,
244
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:38,340
let's party!
245
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,740
I think you are asking
a little too much from a jacket, but ...
246
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:43,340
go have fun.
247
00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:46,300
Okay Donna,
248
00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:47,940
you're Valentine's here!
249
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,860
I thought we'd start with some Hangman,
250
00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:54,420
then move into something
that really gets the pulse racing like ...
251
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:55,220
Yahtzee.
252
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:59,300
Alright.
Just so long as when you get Yhatzee you yell Poopsie.
253
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,580
That's not a promise I can make.
254
00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:06,300
Oeh, pizza!
255
00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:11,500
Oh. You're back.
256
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,980
Hope your car is not blocking the driveway,
we're expecting a pizza.
257
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:17,940
Donna,
258
00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:20,940
would you go out with me on a big Valentine's Day date?
259
00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:24,820
What about the other girl?
260
00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:26,100
There is no other girl.
261
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:28,500
I just think you're hot and I want to go out with you.
262
00:14:33,860 --> 00:14:36,460
I'm a father and I'm standing right here!
263
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:39,900
Here Mr. Pinciotti.
264
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:40,980
Pizza's on me.
265
00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:44,340
Have her home by sunrise.
266
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:51,460
Hey Kitty.
267
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:55,420
Hi Red.
268
00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:57,980
Sorry I didn't get around to making dinner, but ...
269
00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:01,820
I was too busy counting to 956.
270
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,860
Well, it's gonna be worth it,
271
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,060
cause I found your gift.
272
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:09,540
Look at that.
273
00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:10,900
Pack of gum.
274
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,020
Tire gauge.
275
00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:15,380
Actually the gum was for me.
276
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:15,780
Red!
277
00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:19,620
Kitty, you always said
it's the thought that counts.
278
00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:21,620
Oh I said that to Eric when he was five
279
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,100
and he gave me that stupid macaroni-frame.
280
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:26,020
You!
281
00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:28,300
What did you do?
282
00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:31,220
I'm sorry Red.
283
00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:33,300
I was down there picking out a gift for Sam
284
00:15:33,980 --> 00:15:35,660
and she caught me and assumed everything was for her.
285
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,780
And she started kissing me everywhere and...
286
00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:40,340
I just handed everything over to her.
287
00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:42,660
That's her power man.
288
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,220
Good God Steven,
289
00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:46,540
the whole stash?
290
00:15:46,860 --> 00:15:48,540
Look, I know I owe you an apology but
291
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:49,260
can it wait?
292
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,460
Cause Sam just send me up here
to get some whipped cream. So....
293
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:55,380
Sorry!
294
00:15:58,860 --> 00:15:59,300
Okay.
295
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:01,420
What were you two talking about?
296
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,500
Well Kitty ...
297
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,380
I had a stash of gifts
down there for every occasion.
298
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,580
That way, if I forgot to buy you something,
299
00:16:12,020 --> 00:16:13,220
I'd still be covered.
300
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,580
You buy my gifts in bulk?!
301
00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,980
Nooooo ... it's ... more of a ....
302
00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:23,860
vast inventory of love.
303
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,020
Well,
304
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:33,500
you're about to get
a vast inventory of my foot in your ass!
305
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,860
Yeah! I can do that too!
306
00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:50,420
Wow.
307
00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:54,260
So ... this was for me all along?
308
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:55,340
Yeah.
309
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:59,380
For one day I wanted to transform
this crappy little record store
310
00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:01,980
into a crappy little bistro.
311
00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:05,980
Thanks.
312
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:11,580
So, when I asked you out,
why did you pretend to have another date?
313
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:12,700
Donna.
314
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:14,900
I've wanted to ask you out for a long time.
315
00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:18,540
And then you kinda beat me to it
and I'm kinda of a traditional guy.
316
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:20,100
I like to make the first move.
317
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:23,780
But ... if you want to make the second move,
318
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:25,780
well, you're in luck.
319
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:28,820
I'm not wearing a bra!
320
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:34,700
That's good to know.
321
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,300
Hey!
322
00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:45,940
I just had the best meal!
323
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,180
Somebody left two whole steak-dinners in there!
324
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,100
Now if you'll excuse me,
325
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:55,740
I'm off to the Monster Truck Show.
326
00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:03,820
Would you just listen?!
327
00:18:03,820 --> 00:18:05,580
Oh Red, I'd love to talk to you
328
00:18:05,580 --> 00:18:07,900
but I have to check the pressure in my tires!
329
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:12,100
Hey Red.
330
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:14,980
Kitty told Sam the presents weren't for her.
331
00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:15,860
Now I'm kinda in trouble.
332
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:18,900
So, I got us each
a bouquet of flowers for our ladies.
333
00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:22,700
Kitty! I got you roses!
334
00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:25,300
See how it feels, dumb-ass?
335
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,620
Jackie. Come in.
336
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:33,380
Please.
337
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:37,500
I just wanna thank you for yesterday.
338
00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:40,900
I feel we really bonded.
339
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:45,020
As much as a star can bond with a commoner.
340
00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:48,500
Well I'm ... I'm really glad that we talked.
341
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,900
You know, I got to see there's a real person in there.
342
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,660
Someone with hopes and fears and emotions.
343
00:18:53,780 --> 00:18:55,820
Well, I'm only human.
344
00:18:56,940 --> 00:19:02,180
And you snuck a rare peak
behind my iron curtain didn't you?
345
00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:04,260
I know.
346
00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:06,140
You know I really feel
like I got to know you better.
347
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,500
Yes you did.
348
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:09,020
And so you're fired.
349
00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:11,820
Wait, what?
350
00:19:12,180 --> 00:19:15,780
I cannot have an employee know so much about me.
351
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:19,860
And since you're TV career is finished,
352
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:21,900
may I suggest bartending?
353
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,780
You pour a mean Scotch, lady.
354
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,980
W..no no no no. This isn't fair.
355
00:19:28,260 --> 00:19:29,820
I work my butt off for you.
356
00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:31,660
Thank you. Out you go.
357
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:34,980
Go on.
358
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,980
Okay alright you know what?
Nobody here likes you.
359
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:41,060
They only pretend to like you
because you're famous.
360
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:44,620
And I pretend to like them
because they bring me lunch.
361
00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:49,460
Oh God. Ohhh. You are a crazy bitter lady
362
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,100
with a hole where your heart should be!
363
00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:53,500
Now is that supposed to hurt me?
364
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:56,180
I have a mug that says that.
365
00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:03,340
Those shoes are so last season!
366
00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:07,540
Rot in hell you worthless maggot!
367
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,640
Well I guess that's it.
368
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,120
Awww, I promised myself I wouldn't cry.
369
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,520
Wadda ya know, I didn't.
370
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,040
Okay look.
371
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,200
Christine is obviously looking
for a new assistant,
372
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,400
so I put in a good word for you.
373
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,600
Really?
Even though I was so mean to you?
374
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,080
Wow thanks.
375
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,400
What's Up Wisconsin?
376
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,360
I licked your phone!
377
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,120
I licked your phone!
26660
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