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1
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:43,770
Oh!
2
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,076
Ow!
3
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:52,244
Help! Help!
4
00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:53,546
Am I dead?
5
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,214
You're not dead.
6
00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:58,655
You've been taken
against your will.
7
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,625
Kobe? Who is that?
8
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:08,266
Dr. Phil?
What the hell's going on?
9
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:12,031
I don't know. I was doing a show
on teens with abandonment issues...
10
00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:13,834
and suddenly, I woke up here.
11
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:17,001
Man, those kids
are gonna be pissed.
12
00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:19,936
Hello, gentlemen.
13
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,573
You don't know me,
but I know you.
14
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,880
You both play games
with other people for a living...
15
00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,853
but, today, you play a game
for your lives.
16
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:32,790
Right now, you are both
breathing in a deadly nerve gas.
17
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,828
You have 120 seconds to reach
the antidote...
18
00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,192
or you die.
19
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,288
Oh, my God!
We better get out of here!
20
00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:41,458
Let the game begin.
21
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,467
There!
22
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:54,212
Hit the metal arm
with something.
23
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,872
There.
24
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:08,118
Damn it!
25
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,723
Sorry.
26
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:14,130
Shaquille, I'm not angry at you...
27
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,033
but we are one minute
away from death.
28
00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,503
Just shut out the "No" voice.
29
00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:22,006
Own your success.
30
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,839
Oh!
31
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:31,580
Just make the damn basket!
32
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,981
What the hell was that for?
33
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,750
You hurt my feelings.
34
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,884
Your feelings?
To hell with your feelings!
35
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,087
Everybody with their feelings!
36
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,189
"I'm obese."
"My kid's a brat." "Help me. Help me."
37
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,528
Just shut up!
38
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,591
Why can't I fix anyone?
39
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:54,129
I'm so dumb and worthless!
Mama was right! Mama was right!
40
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:57,904
Hey, hey! Pull yourself together.
You're a brilliant doctor.
41
00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,002
Not exactly.
42
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:04,209
- What?
- I-I just tell people to "get real."
43
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:06,718
I'm not even a psychologist.
44
00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:08,515
I'm... an electrician.
45
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:13,022
I failed you, Shaq.
I failed you.
46
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:22,892
- Booyah!
- Yes!
47
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:27,864
30 seconds left!
48
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,145
This will never work.
49
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,273
Of course- he wants us
to cut through our feet.
50
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,384
You go first.
51
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,750
Bullshit.
52
00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:43,755
Yeah.
53
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:45,814
You're probably not man enough.
54
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,587
I guess your mama was right.
55
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:51,387
Never!
56
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:54,797
Who's the coward now, Mama?
57
00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:56,801
Candy from a baby.
58
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,998
- Oh, my God!
- I did it. We're saved.
59
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,637
- What's wrong?
- Wrong foot.
60
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,444
Motherfu-
61
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,761
No one believed
62
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,563
in the early years
of the 21st century
63
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:31,661
that our world was being
watched...
64
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:35,640
the way a man with a microscope
might scrutinize the creatures
65
00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:37,471
in a drop of water.
66
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,123
Yet across the gulf of space
67
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,761
a terrible evil prepared
to unleash itself
68
00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:08,739
upon an unsuspecting human race.
69
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,089
You're up early.
Come back to bed.
70
00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:27,757
Come on.
71
00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:31,090
Please.
72
00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:54,576
Hello? Hello?
73
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,389
Tom! Oh!
74
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:04,127
I know you missed me.
Oh, I missed you too. God, you look great.
75
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,688
I wanted to come by to thank you
for setting up that job interview for me.
76
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:10,293
This isn't a good time.
77
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,930
I just need something to keep me busy
now that Cody's out of the house.
78
00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:14,973
He just turned 11.
79
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,770
I enrolled him in military
school last year.
80
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,107
It's supposed to be
a great program.
81
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:22,238
Boy, kids, you know,
they just grow up so fast.
82
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,783
So I heard
that you were dating again.
83
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,081
Knowing you,
I bet she's brainy.
84
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,643
"Quixotic."
85
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,348
90 points!
86
00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:47,064
Oh, you know, your work with
the elderly really inspired me, Tom.
87
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:50,769
I mean, they have
so much to teach us...
88
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,970
and we have so much
to teach them.
89
00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:55,980
You know, ultimately, they...
really are just like us...
90
00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:58,608
only... older.
91
00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:02,176
Anyway, I'm hoping that
a new career will help
92
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,782
keep my mind off of...
bad memories.
93
00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:10,022
I'm sure you have memories, too.
He's the kind of person you never forget.
94
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,121
Sometimes, I wake up in
the middle of the night
95
00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:14,928
wondering where he is,
and then I remember.
96
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:19,461
I know you miss him, too,
but it's really been hardest on me.
97
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,507
I'm rattling on, but if you
don't vent your emotions...
98
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:25,237
they just well up inside of you
and burst out.
99
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:28,041
The harder you try,
the harder it all gets...
100
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,412
till you just can't
shake it off anymore.
101
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:31,472
Oh!
102
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:34,543
Like you're carrying around
this enormous burden.
103
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,645
Sometimes your problems
get so big.
104
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:42,027
- And then what do you say to yourself?
- Jesus!
105
00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:45,495
Yes, you can turn to religion
or family and friends...
106
00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:48,159
but in the end,
you're still in agony.
107
00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,725
Maybe that's why
I want to become a nurse.
108
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:54,705
I'm just- I'm so in tune
with everyone's emotions.
109
00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:57,504
I guess I've always had
a knack for being-
110
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,175
Oh, my-
111
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:29,905
Ryan, go home.
You've been working 16 straight hours.
112
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,240
Come on, I need the overtime.
113
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:34,211
Don't worry. Okay?
114
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,748
I'm wide-
115
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:43,288
Ryan! What are you doing?
116
00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:47,157
That was gold bullion-
117
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:51,286
No, not the monkeys!
118
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:59,070
They're loose!
119
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:05,674
Damn it, Tom!
What the hell happened back there?
120
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,838
Aw, come on, Ed.
That could've happened to anyone.
121
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:10,508
Oh, yeah?
You know what your problem is?
122
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:13,643
As soon as the going gets tough,
you give up.
123
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:16,085
You're right. I quit.
124
00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:17,816
Ah, you don't get it, do you?
125
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,859
You could be the best,
if only you'd see things through.
126
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:23,418
- I don't know.
- Give me a break.
127
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:26,624
What can I tell you, Ed?
I guess I'm no good.
128
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,428
Maybe I just don't have what it takes.
129
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:32,403
What are you talking about?
You secured that tricky H-500 unit, didn't you?
130
00:09:32,471 --> 00:09:34,268
Aw, come on. That was easy.
131
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,982
Tom Ryan.
I haven't seen you in a while.
132
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:49,249
Well, I spend every waking minute
of my life operating a crane.
133
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,313
God, I hate my job.
134
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:58,087
Yo, Tom! Where you been?
135
00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,654
Mahalik.
136
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,563
Yo, C.J.,
this is my boy Tom Ryan.
137
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,795
We used to work together
down at the docks.
138
00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:05,029
Ya-hi! Ya-hi! Ya-hi!
139
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:07,766
- Hey, Tom. How's the family, man?
- You remember Marilyn?
140
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,365
- Your lovely wife- how could I forget?
- She dumped me.
141
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,378
Yeah, I know.
I slept with her a few times.
142
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,879
- What?
- Me too.
143
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,973
You guys talking about Marilyn?
Great lay.
144
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:20,314
My pops introduced me to her.
145
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:22,411
Ever since the divorce,
it's like my life has no purpose.
146
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:24,285
Half the time I walk around
feeling like a zombie.
147
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,723
Yo, don't joke about zombies.
That shit there- that's real.
148
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,226
Yo, you know Nashawn,
down on 120th Street?
149
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,284
Yeah.
150
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,127
She told me that she heard a zombie
going through her trash the other day.
151
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,030
The next morning,
she turned up missing.
152
00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:37,228
- Uh-
- What? Okay, back up.
153
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,237
How in the hell
do you "turn up missing"?
154
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,001
'Cause nobody knows where you are
when they realize you ain't there!
155
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:43,336
Guys, I'm trying to ask-
156
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:46,503
So you telling me that you can appear
and disappear at the same time.
157
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,104
No, man. You can't appear
and disappear at the same time.
158
00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:51,206
- The bitch ain't David Copperfield!
- Uh, guys-
159
00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:52,682
Mmm. No, no.
160
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:55,186
But you can't be gone from one place
and show up somewhere else entirely.
161
00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:57,245
So when you turn up,
you're never missing.
162
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,689
And when you're missing,
you never turn up.
163
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:02,387
Unless... you a zombie.
164
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:03,894
Damn!
165
00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:06,898
Hey, that's some plausible shit right there.
You should blog about that.
166
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:09,867
- I'm gonna put that on MySpace.
- You do that!
167
00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:11,596
Hey, Tom.
168
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,697
You know what you need to do, man?
You need to get away from all this.
169
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,675
- You need to take a break.
- Oh, I don't know.
170
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:21,235
No, no. He's right, man. You should
come fishing with us one weekend.
171
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:24,282
Me and Mahalik, we found
this great spot last summer.
172
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,682
Yeah. A great spot.
173
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:36,291
Hey. You cold?
174
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,260
- L-Little bit.
- Hmm.
175
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,438
Hey. Look, man, um-
176
00:11:50,509 --> 00:11:52,374
I'm not on the down-low
or nothing, all right?
177
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:55,881
Oh, that's cool, man.
Me, neither.
178
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:01,449
- Hey, what you doing?
- Relax, man.
179
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,954
I'm just trying to grab some nuts.
180
00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:13,754
C.J., what are you doin'?
181
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,461
- I just wanna eat some peanuts.
- Huh?
182
00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:19,868
See? Peanuts.
183
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:19,391
Ooh, baby.
184
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,238
Yeah...
we caught a lot of fish.
185
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:36,804
Yeah.
186
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,315
Black cod.
187
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:42,479
Damn.
188
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,456
Tom, you don't-
I don't want you thinking that-
189
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:47,355
Hopefully, this doesn't
affect your opin-
190
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:49,724
Why would you do that,
and that's my first time meeting him?
191
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:04,272
Late again, Tom.
192
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:07,540
- Hey, Marilyn.
- I thought you were moving.
193
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:11,515
It's all I can afford right now. You took
everything in the divorce except my name.
194
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,848
No, actually, the judge
granted me that yesterday.
195
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:16,217
You're now officially known
as "Horace P. MacTitties."
196
00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:20,357
I'm sure your new husband is pleased.
197
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:23,088
He's a good man.
A provider, unlike you.
198
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:24,993
You never cared
about our children.
199
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,555
Hey, that's not true.
I'm a great dad.
200
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:30,101
Kids!
201
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:31,193
Dad?
202
00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:39,208
- Hi, Dad.
- Hey, Rachel.
203
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:42,042
How's it going there,
uh... Princess?
204
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,913
It's locked.
205
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:49,677
Hey! Let me help you
with that, muffin.
206
00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,245
- I should do that.
- It's no problem.
207
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:53,314
- I honestly don't mind.
- Neither do I.
208
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,257
Fine. You take it.
209
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,727
I'll see you on Tuesday.
210
00:14:57,796 --> 00:14:59,127
Hey, Marilyn.
211
00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:02,429
That's a good look for you,
being pregnant.
212
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,100
I'm not pregnant!
213
00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:09,163
I didn't meant to-
I'm sorry.
214
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:12,108
If you want to make things right,
maybe you should start with our kids.
215
00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:15,112
You're right. Those kids
are all I have in this world.
216
00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:17,842
Well, the kids... and my car.
217
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,579
Ow!
218
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:27,249
Mr. Koji, looks like we need
someone new for the Norris account.
219
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:28,816
Again?
220
00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:31,954
Every day we don't have someone looking
after this woman, I lose big money.
221
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:35,489
- What happened to last girl?
- Yoko. Take a look.
222
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:38,001
Holy shit!
223
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:40,664
Someone put a towel under her
or something. Christ!
224
00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:44,641
It's the Norris house, Mr. Koji.
They say it's cursed.
225
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,701
There no such thing as a curse.
226
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,440
Don't be ridiculous.
227
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:50,880
Those just old wives' tales.
228
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:54,613
I need someone there today
or I'm in big trouble.
229
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,614
Hello. I'm Cindy Campbell.
230
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:01,956
I'm looking for a job
in home health care.
231
00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:05,886
I was recommended by a family friend,
but unfortunately, he committed-
232
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,729
Oh, my God!
233
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,860
Don't mind her.
She slip and fall.
234
00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:14,235
You my new best employee.
Ready start today?
235
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,240
Oh, it's so fast. I don't know.
236
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,572
Oh, trust me.
Uh, you're gonna love this job.
237
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,078
Come on, I show you.
We can be there 10 minutes.
238
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,259
Come! Come!
239
00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:48,600
Mr. Koji?
240
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,707
Hello?
241
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,054
Oh, my God! Oh!
242
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:07,456
Okay, oh.
243
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,892
- Oh, let's get you up and-
- Oh!
244
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:12,556
Okay, come on.
Here we go.
245
00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:15,259
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- There you are.
246
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:17,131
I see you've met Mrs. Norris-
she catatonic.
247
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,670
Yes, I was just trying
to get her back up on the bed.
248
00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:21,797
I was afraid
that she would be hurt.
249
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,069
You know, when I came in,
I just saw her lying here on the floor.
250
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,873
Of course, of course. I help.
You grab her legs, I grab her arms.
251
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:29,243
Mrs. Norris,
I'm here to take care of you.
252
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:33,143
Yes, I'm very happy
to meet you, too.
253
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:38,221
See? This job perfect for you.
Let me show you rest of house.
254
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,383
Right this way.
255
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:42,427
So, what do you think?
256
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:48,399
I don't know. There's something
strange about this house.
257
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:51,231
- A presence.
- A presence? Don't be silly.
258
00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:53,066
- Nothing wrong with this house.
- It's funny.
259
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:56,574
I always dreamt I would live
in a house like this with my husband...
260
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,770
but I guess that's all just in the...
261
00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:02,104
past.
262
00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,274
Who wants to see upstairs?
263
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:08,615
It's a nice neighborhood
close to schools and shopping.
264
00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:12,123
There are hardwood floors throughout.
Passed almost every inspection.
265
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:15,752
Big backyard goes back 100 feet.
266
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,301
And in here is the bathroom.
267
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:24,995
Very big, very...
268
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,833
nice.
269
00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:30,465
It is nice.
270
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:32,772
It seems like
it'd be a great place to work...
271
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,643
but I just can't shake
this feeling of... evil.
272
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,682
Evil? That crazy talk.
273
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:44,981
Do you know anything about
the people who used to live here?
274
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:48,686
People? No, nothing about people.
I don't remember anything.
275
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,196
Mr. Koji, did something strange
happen in this house?
276
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,856
Strange? Don't be silly.
277
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:55,832
This house perfectly normal.
278
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:59,667
I'm sure you're right, and yet...
it's as if someone's watching us.
279
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,699
Mr. Koji?
280
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:08,143
That was me...
just excited about hiring you.
281
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:11,148
Very, very enthusiastic!
282
00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:16,916
We offer medical and dental
and two weeks' paid vacation!
283
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:20,516
I'm hoping...
you can start today!
284
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:22,651
Maybe get in a whole week!
285
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,423
You put in for this job...
286
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,691
we got wonderful opportunities for you.
287
00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:30,223
Mr. Koji, is there something
you're not telling me about this?
288
00:19:35,707 --> 00:19:38,870
I was... dirty.
289
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:44,013
So... the job?
290
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:45,709
I'll take it.
291
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:53,789
Get your glove!
I'm in the backyard!
292
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,794
Robbie, come on.
Let's go!
293
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,695
That's not how you're going
to get through to him.
294
00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:01,960
Look, Rach, this is guy stuff.
295
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,231
You got to trust me.
296
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:08,239
All right, Robbie, you ready
for the Tom Ryan Express?
297
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:22,086
Yeah, maybe, one day,
I can grow up to be just like you.
298
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:25,214
All right,
I know I let you kids down...
299
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,986
but you have no idea
how hard it is to be a father.
300
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,655
Well, when you start,
let me know.
301
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,768
You okay?
302
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,433
My eyes! My eyes!
303
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:52,244
Oh, much... better.
304
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:55,445
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, that's okay.
305
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,647
I've taken balls
to the face before.
306
00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:00,521
Hi. I'm Cindy Campbell,
your new neighbor.
307
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:02,560
Tom, Tom Ryan.
308
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:05,096
You, uh, live here
all by yourself?
309
00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:07,154
Well, I'm-I'm taking care
of Mrs. Norris...
310
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:10,963
but... yes, for the first time
in my life, I'm on my own.
311
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:12,469
I know that feeling.
312
00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:16,837
- It wasn't always that way.
- I know.
313
00:21:16,908 --> 00:21:19,035
You thought you'd found
your soul mate.
314
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,045
Yes.
315
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,104
And then one day
you come home...
316
00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:26,480
and find your so-called soul mate
in bed with a complete stranger.
317
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:29,816
Well, not a complete stranger-
Sammy Sosa.
318
00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:33,150
Sound familiar?
319
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,352
No, not at all.
320
00:21:37,162 --> 00:21:39,596
But I do know what it's like
to be in that much pain...
321
00:21:39,665 --> 00:21:42,498
and the worst part is
you have to suffer through it-
322
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,967
- Alone?
- It looks like we have a lot in-
323
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:47,505
Common.
324
00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:50,268
- We're already finishing each other's-
- Dinner.
325
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:53,771
Sentences.
326
00:21:54,946 --> 00:21:58,973
Well... maybe all we really need
is a friend.
327
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:01,611
I'd like that.
328
00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:03,951
Well, I better get back
to Mrs. Norris.
329
00:22:04,022 --> 00:22:06,490
It's time to put her catheter in,
and then after that...
330
00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:08,549
I've got to scrub
in between her fat folds...
331
00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:10,754
and I've got to lance her boils.
332
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,592
I've got to open her up
and then-
333
00:22:43,328 --> 00:22:45,592
...empty the colostomy bag and...
334
00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:47,859
Mop up the drool.
335
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:49,798
That's wonderful.
336
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,530
- I'll see you around?
- Definitely.
337
00:22:52,604 --> 00:22:54,697
Okay.
338
00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:58,765
Okay, Mrs. Norris,
time to dig out that doody bubble.
339
00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:06,936
Whoa... Oh! Ow!
340
00:24:22,861 --> 00:24:24,886
Mrs. Norris?
341
00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,523
Have you noticed anything
strange about this house?
342
00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:30,534
- Yes! Yes!
- No?
343
00:24:30,602 --> 00:24:31,569
Yes!
344
00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:34,434
Oh, you're probably right.
Guess I'm just being silly.
345
00:24:36,641 --> 00:24:38,472
Just relax now.
346
00:24:38,543 --> 00:24:41,273
Here we go. Okay.
347
00:24:41,346 --> 00:24:44,577
Oh, you poor thing.
You don't have to be scared.
348
00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:47,743
I'm here to take care of you.
349
00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:51,186
You know, I think you and I
are going to be wonderful friends.
350
00:24:51,256 --> 00:24:55,056
I do. That's right. Just relax.
351
00:24:55,126 --> 00:24:57,526
Let's get in those ears.
352
00:24:57,596 --> 00:25:00,463
Okay. All right.
353
00:25:00,532 --> 00:25:04,161
That's right.
Oh, it feels good.
354
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,806
Okay.
355
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,365
You love this, don't you?
356
00:25:11,443 --> 00:25:14,742
It's nice and warm.
Feels good, doesn't it?
357
00:25:15,313 --> 00:25:17,975
Oh, my God! Oh! Oh!
358
00:25:18,049 --> 00:25:20,415
I'm so sorry!
359
00:26:39,497 --> 00:26:42,398
Robbie!
360
00:26:42,467 --> 00:26:44,401
Come on!
361
00:26:44,469 --> 00:26:46,733
Let's toss the old pigskin!
362
00:26:53,979 --> 00:26:55,537
Ooh.
363
00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:58,515
I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there.
Are you all right?
364
00:26:58,583 --> 00:27:01,177
It's okay.
My throat cushioned the blow.
365
00:27:01,252 --> 00:27:04,847
Thank God.
I lost my temper. My son's-
366
00:27:04,923 --> 00:27:07,187
What's wrong?
You look scared.
367
00:27:07,258 --> 00:27:09,123
Oh, nothing. It's just-
368
00:27:09,194 --> 00:27:11,628
There's something
going on in this house.
369
00:27:11,696 --> 00:27:13,960
Last night, I saw a face.
370
00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:16,694
- Did it have a nose?
- Yes.
371
00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:18,531
That does sound like a face.
372
00:27:18,603 --> 00:27:22,061
And then there was
this weird hand in the shower...
373
00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:24,404
and this horrible thing
on the stairs.
374
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,808
I can't go through
this all again.
375
00:27:26,878 --> 00:27:29,870
Oh, I get it.
There's some other guy.
376
00:27:29,948 --> 00:27:33,111
You still love him, don't you?
I wish you both the best.
377
00:27:33,184 --> 00:27:36,210
Wait! You don't understand.
378
00:27:36,287 --> 00:27:40,155
It's painful to talk about,
but you deserve to know.
379
00:27:42,027 --> 00:27:44,427
I was married once.
380
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:48,728
- Get out the way, bitch!
- Don't call me no bitch! You ain't shit!
381
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,665
Shut your ass up, snow ho!
382
00:27:53,138 --> 00:27:56,801
Well... actually, married twice.
383
00:27:58,576 --> 00:28:00,635
My husband and I
were living our dream.
384
00:28:00,712 --> 00:28:04,375
Ladies and gentlemen,
your challenger, Cindy Campbell.
385
00:28:06,384 --> 00:28:09,649
Stay loose, Cindy.
Remember your training. Keep your focus.
386
00:28:11,823 --> 00:28:14,792
Always think, where's
the next punch coming-
387
00:28:14,859 --> 00:28:17,487
After 20 fights, I was undefeated.
388
00:28:17,562 --> 00:28:19,689
Only one fighter stood
between me and the belt.
389
00:28:19,764 --> 00:28:21,755
You got this chick.
She's nothing.
390
00:28:21,833 --> 00:28:23,562
Tiffany Stone!
391
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:30,673
Cindy, listen to me.
392
00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:33,438
I know you're scared, but I believe in you.
You can win this.
393
00:28:33,511 --> 00:28:36,810
And if I do win, George, then will you
tell me what my nickname means?
394
00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:38,815
Yes. I promise.
395
00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:41,613
Okay. Now just stick with the jab
and lead with your right.
396
00:28:41,686 --> 00:28:43,711
Watch your footwork.
397
00:28:43,788 --> 00:28:46,313
Let's go!
398
00:28:54,799 --> 00:28:58,496
Whoa, whoa! You do that one more time,
I'm taking a point off, you hear me?
399
00:29:01,072 --> 00:29:03,973
I got it, I got it!
Dude, check it out!
400
00:29:11,282 --> 00:29:13,978
I can't take it anymore!
401
00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:26,355
And that's when I lost my cool
402
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:28,729
and made the biggest mistake
of my life.
403
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,734
Cindy, no!
404
00:29:31,970 --> 00:29:33,437
Ooh, a nickel!
405
00:29:40,011 --> 00:29:43,003
No!
406
00:30:23,188 --> 00:30:25,588
Get out of the way!
407
00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:27,955
George!
408
00:30:28,026 --> 00:30:31,621
No!
409
00:30:31,696 --> 00:30:35,029
If I hadn't have thrown that punch,
none of it would've happened.
410
00:30:35,099 --> 00:30:37,897
- I blame myself for it all.
- As well you should.
411
00:30:37,969 --> 00:30:41,905
But, Cindy, the past is the past.
412
00:30:41,973 --> 00:30:44,635
Maybe you ought to think
about your future.
413
00:30:44,709 --> 00:30:46,700
If I'm ever going to love again...
414
00:30:46,778 --> 00:30:49,212
it has to be with somebody
who'll be there for me.
415
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,613
Well, I don't have a great track record
in that department. Just ask my son.
416
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:55,380
I have.
What's an "cock monger"?
417
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,948
Uh... that's not really important.
418
00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:01,548
What matters is
I've let a lot of people down.
419
00:31:01,626 --> 00:31:04,026
Oh.
420
00:31:04,095 --> 00:31:07,258
- I should go.
- Wait!
421
00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:11,859
Maybe I'm just not meant
to be happy...
422
00:31:13,638 --> 00:31:17,199
but something about you
makes me want to try.
423
00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:37,922
- What's happening?
- I don't know!
424
00:31:40,832 --> 00:31:43,323
Why is the sky so dark?
425
00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:45,494
Why is the wind moving
towards the storm?
426
00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:49,773
Why don't any of us have driers?
427
00:31:49,841 --> 00:31:53,299
I've never seen clouds
like that before!
428
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:04,054
- You okay?
- Yeah.
429
00:32:04,122 --> 00:32:06,056
- Can you believe that thunder?
- No.
430
00:32:06,124 --> 00:32:09,093
That storm is so fierce.
I've never seen anything like it.
431
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,890
- I haven't either.
- Imagine being out there.
432
00:32:11,963 --> 00:32:15,330
That last one sounded really close.
433
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,528
Don't worry- lightning never
strikes in the same place twice.
434
00:32:20,505 --> 00:32:23,303
- Where's Rachel?
- I thought she was with you.
435
00:32:27,512 --> 00:32:29,412
Oh, there you are.
436
00:32:37,922 --> 00:32:40,186
Okay. That's it. We're fine.
437
00:32:40,258 --> 00:32:42,783
That last bolt of lightning
smelled like a-
438
00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:45,021
Giant turd.
439
00:32:45,096 --> 00:32:49,089
Yes, the... lightning.
440
00:32:49,167 --> 00:32:51,658
I'll go look for Robbie.
441
00:32:55,506 --> 00:32:57,599
Turn it again,
see if it'll start.
442
00:32:57,675 --> 00:33:00,803
I don't know what's going on.
The car's not working, it's just not working.
443
00:33:00,878 --> 00:33:03,870
Start!
444
00:33:03,948 --> 00:33:06,280
Go!
445
00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:11,355
My bowels have stopped moving!
Why?
446
00:33:11,422 --> 00:33:14,516
- How's it going, Marvin?
- I just had this car working; now it's dead.
447
00:33:14,592 --> 00:33:17,186
- Try changing the solenoid.
- Good idea.
448
00:33:17,261 --> 00:33:19,525
Death to America!
449
00:33:21,332 --> 00:33:23,698
Aw, shit!
450
00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:45,678
Run!
451
00:34:35,306 --> 00:34:38,332
Beautiful outfit!
452
00:34:38,409 --> 00:34:40,400
Thanks.
453
00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:44,447
- Where's your ride, G?
- Move it, dawg!
454
00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:03,329
Hello?
455
00:35:04,535 --> 00:35:06,469
"Haro"?
456
00:35:07,738 --> 00:35:09,729
Hibachi. Benihana. Teriyaki.
457
00:35:09,807 --> 00:35:13,004
Nagasaki. Okinawa.
Hokkaido. Yokohama.
458
00:35:13,077 --> 00:35:17,013
Karate. Judo. Sumo. Samurai.
459
00:35:17,081 --> 00:35:21,017
Nissan. Honda. Mitsubishi. Subaru.
460
00:35:21,085 --> 00:35:24,919
Hara-kiri. Tsunami.
Kamikaze. Banzai.
461
00:35:24,989 --> 00:35:29,119
Yamaha. Nikon. Casio. Aiwa.
462
00:35:30,495 --> 00:35:34,363
Minolta. Hitachi. Seiko. Toshiba.
463
00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:36,923
Buddha! Shitake kimono!
464
00:35:37,001 --> 00:35:41,870
Tempura. Sushi. Sashimi!
465
00:35:41,939 --> 00:35:43,668
Fujitsu!
466
00:35:50,448 --> 00:35:52,814
I can't read that.
467
00:35:52,884 --> 00:35:55,444
That's better.
468
00:36:00,391 --> 00:36:02,291
Let's go, honey!
Let's go! Let's go!
469
00:36:03,694 --> 00:36:05,286
Robbie, Dad's home!
470
00:36:09,233 --> 00:36:11,565
What is it?
What's going on?
471
00:36:11,636 --> 00:36:13,866
Death.
472
00:36:25,550 --> 00:36:28,576
- Dad, talk to me. What's happening?
- There's no time to explain.
473
00:36:28,653 --> 00:36:30,382
Alien attack!
474
00:36:30,454 --> 00:36:33,321
Well, actually,
that about sums it up.
475
00:36:33,391 --> 00:36:35,825
Fill this up with food.
We're leaving this house in 60 seconds.
476
00:36:37,662 --> 00:36:41,564
My ass!
477
00:36:44,135 --> 00:36:46,000
Penis.
478
00:36:46,837 --> 00:36:48,031
We gotta go.
479
00:36:53,277 --> 00:36:55,438
- Cindy!
- Tom!
480
00:36:55,513 --> 00:36:57,413
- Run for it!
- Where are you going?
481
00:36:57,481 --> 00:37:01,383
Someone's out there, somebody
who knows a way to stop all of this.
482
00:37:01,452 --> 00:37:03,545
- Oh, you wouldn't understand.
- I understand.
483
00:37:03,621 --> 00:37:07,113
- Come with me.
- Oh, I'd like to, but my kids.
484
00:37:07,191 --> 00:37:10,092
I... guess this is good-bye.
485
00:37:10,161 --> 00:37:13,653
When this is all over, promise me that
you'll find me, that you'll never forget me...
486
00:37:13,731 --> 00:37:16,632
that you won't give up
until I'm back in your arms.
487
00:37:16,701 --> 00:37:19,033
- Alive?
- Yes.
488
00:37:19,103 --> 00:37:20,866
I promise.
489
00:37:24,442 --> 00:37:26,069
Good-bye, Cindy.
490
00:37:31,115 --> 00:37:32,810
Hey, wait!
491
00:37:32,883 --> 00:37:36,614
A solenoid... for luck.
492
00:37:47,298 --> 00:37:49,789
Marvin!
You put a solenoid in?
493
00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:52,199
Yeah, I got one
from that crackhead over there.
494
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:53,931
- Get in.
- Why should we?
495
00:37:54,005 --> 00:37:57,839
Because you're my responsibility now,
and like it or not, I'm all you've got.
496
00:37:58,409 --> 00:38:00,877
Ow!
497
00:38:01,879 --> 00:38:04,143
- Hey. Hey!
- Thank God.
498
00:38:04,215 --> 00:38:06,342
Hey! What are you doing?
499
00:38:06,417 --> 00:38:09,352
- Get in the car, Marvin.
- Come on, Tom, stop joking around.
500
00:38:09,420 --> 00:38:11,945
Get in the car, Marvin,
or you're gonna die.
501
00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:14,423
Okay, fine.
502
00:38:17,328 --> 00:38:20,195
- No, wait for me to-
- Still locked.
503
00:38:20,264 --> 00:38:22,858
- Why are you reaching at the same time?
- What do you mean?
504
00:38:22,933 --> 00:38:24,730
- All right, on three.
- You counting now?
505
00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:26,827
One, two, three, open the door!
506
00:38:26,904 --> 00:38:29,236
- Okay, on three.
- One, two-
507
00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:31,002
Three.
508
00:38:31,075 --> 00:38:33,373
- Don't do that. You're trying to annoy me.
- It's still locked.
509
00:38:33,444 --> 00:38:35,435
I'm going on three. One, two-
510
00:38:35,513 --> 00:38:37,105
Don't count when I count.
I have a problem with that.
511
00:38:37,181 --> 00:38:38,978
- What's the matter with you?
- Turn your mouth sideways.
512
00:38:39,050 --> 00:38:41,245
- If you look at me I lose count.
- What are you crazy?
513
00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:43,651
- One, two, three!
- Two, three!
514
00:38:43,721 --> 00:38:46,053
- Don't do it the same time.
- You said "three."
515
00:38:46,123 --> 00:38:47,647
- You go on "four." Can you count?
- Four.
516
00:38:47,725 --> 00:38:50,159
- So on your "three" or my "four"?
- There's only one "three."
517
00:38:50,227 --> 00:38:52,525
- I'm tryin' to get in the car.
- Then you do it on "four."
518
00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:55,292
You said, "three." So are you doin' it
on "three" or am I doin' it on "two"?
519
00:38:55,366 --> 00:38:57,197
- For Christ's sake!
- I heard "three."
520
00:38:57,268 --> 00:38:58,826
If the count is "three,"
you do it on "four."
521
00:38:58,903 --> 00:39:00,495
- Now it's "four."
- Why would you go on "four"?
522
00:39:00,571 --> 00:39:02,436
You gave me "four" first
and you stole my "four."
523
00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:04,167
- But I have to count to "three" first.
- You stole my "four."
524
00:39:04,241 --> 00:39:06,641
- Just let me say "three."
- I've got wait on you now, huh?
525
00:39:06,711 --> 00:39:08,269
- You want the black man to wait again?
- Do whatever you want.
526
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:11,281
- That's what I've been doin'.
- Why would you do that?
527
00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:13,874
Why would you reach for it when
I say "three"? That's what this is about.
528
00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:15,418
Do I still go on "four"?
529
00:39:15,486 --> 00:39:17,681
When I say "three,"
don't worry about "four."
530
00:39:17,755 --> 00:39:19,188
You got all the time in the world!
531
00:39:19,256 --> 00:39:23,352
You can go home, watch television
and come back and then open the door!
532
00:39:23,427 --> 00:39:24,621
- Fine.
- One-
533
00:39:24,695 --> 00:39:27,255
No. No "one." I'm out.
No thank you.
534
00:39:27,331 --> 00:39:30,892
I'll take the next one.
Does that work for you?
535
00:39:30,968 --> 00:39:33,198
- Jesus.
- Attitude.
536
00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:37,069
Seriously, I'd rather be dead.
537
00:39:39,143 --> 00:39:41,270
GIRL
"A girl had a pet duck.
538
00:39:41,345 --> 00:39:43,540
"She fed and took care
of her pet duck.
539
00:39:43,614 --> 00:39:48,278
"But one day, the duck got loose
and ran away from the girl.
540
00:39:48,352 --> 00:39:50,912
"The duck ran down the road
and kept running...
541
00:39:50,988 --> 00:39:52,649
until he found a pond."
542
00:39:52,723 --> 00:39:56,352
Mr. President,
we've just received word...
543
00:39:56,427 --> 00:39:58,725
the planet is under attack by aliens.
544
00:39:58,796 --> 00:40:00,388
Oh. Okay.
545
00:40:00,464 --> 00:40:02,227
"The duck went back"-
546
00:40:02,299 --> 00:40:05,200
Sir? They've already wiped out
some of our cities.
547
00:40:05,269 --> 00:40:07,669
If nothing is done,
they'll kill us all.
548
00:40:07,738 --> 00:40:09,933
I see. Well, I'll handle that
in a minute.
549
00:40:10,007 --> 00:40:13,602
But right now, I need to find out
what's happening with the duck.
550
00:40:13,677 --> 00:40:17,408
Sir, with each passing moment,
more people will die.
551
00:40:17,481 --> 00:40:19,915
The people are gonna die
regardless...
552
00:40:19,984 --> 00:40:22,578
but this duck still has
a fighting chance.
553
00:40:22,653 --> 00:40:27,317
I've read the story before, Mr. President.
554
00:40:27,391 --> 00:40:29,416
The duck dies.
555
00:40:30,928 --> 00:40:33,419
My God!
That's horrible.
556
00:40:33,497 --> 00:40:36,523
Mr. President, the aliens?
We're under attack.
557
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,433
You mean, right now all of these
children's parents could be dead?
558
00:40:40,971 --> 00:40:43,496
Kids! Kids, please!
559
00:40:43,574 --> 00:40:45,940
It's not as bad as it seems.
560
00:40:46,010 --> 00:40:49,605
They didn't die alone. I'm sure they
died with all the other people you loved.
561
00:40:51,248 --> 00:40:53,546
Even Santa Claus?
562
00:40:53,617 --> 00:40:56,586
No, of course not.
There's no such thing as Santa Claus.
563
00:41:00,057 --> 00:41:02,525
Just like the Tooth Fairy,
completely made up.
564
00:41:03,427 --> 00:41:05,952
Easter Bunny-
Never existed.
565
00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:09,326
The female orgasm.
566
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,369
Wait and see what happens
when you try to find it.
567
00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:16,372
What's wrong? Your parents
all getting divorces?
568
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,637
I can give them a little advice,
if you'd like.
569
00:41:19,710 --> 00:41:22,543
Oh, I forgot.
They're all dead.
570
00:41:22,613 --> 00:41:25,878
All right now, let's go on to
another story, "Rumpelforeskin."
571
00:41:25,950 --> 00:41:28,646
"Stiltzkin," sir.
We have to get you to the White House.
572
00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:30,380
I just don't get kids.
573
00:41:30,454 --> 00:41:33,514
- Remind me to sign that abortion bill.
- Yes, sir.
574
00:41:46,036 --> 00:41:47,799
You may leave
through the forward exit doors...
575
00:41:47,872 --> 00:41:50,136
or the gaping hole
in the side of the plane.
576
00:41:50,207 --> 00:41:52,198
We realize you have
a choice in airlines...
577
00:41:52,276 --> 00:41:55,439
and we appreciate
you flying with Southern Coast Air.
578
00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:56,810
- Thank you.
- Hello?
579
00:42:00,117 --> 00:42:03,052
Hey! That's mine! I found it!
580
00:42:04,421 --> 00:42:07,185
- Cindy?
- Brenda?
581
00:42:07,258 --> 00:42:10,750
Oh, my God.
It's been so long.
582
00:42:10,828 --> 00:42:13,228
Yeah, too long.
583
00:42:13,297 --> 00:42:15,197
I thought you were dead.
584
00:42:15,266 --> 00:42:17,257
Oh, I thought
you were dead, too.
585
00:42:17,334 --> 00:42:19,734
What are you doing here?
Were you on this plane?
586
00:42:19,803 --> 00:42:21,862
No, I'm trying to get a good story.
587
00:42:21,939 --> 00:42:24,669
I'm a reporter now.
I work for the local news.
588
00:42:24,742 --> 00:42:26,334
Wow, you're really doing
well for yourself.
589
00:42:26,410 --> 00:42:29,937
I was on assignment.
Take a look at this.
590
00:42:30,014 --> 00:42:31,709
Here's Detroit.
591
00:42:33,484 --> 00:42:36,009
And here's Detroit after the attack.
592
00:42:38,756 --> 00:42:40,553
Oh, my God.
593
00:42:40,624 --> 00:42:43,286
The attack was devastating.
594
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,056
It's over, Cindy.
Humanity has lost the war.
595
00:42:46,130 --> 00:42:48,121
No, no. There's still hope.
596
00:42:48,198 --> 00:42:50,996
I have reason to believe that there's
someone here that has the answers...
597
00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:54,333
maybe even a way for us to fight back.
598
00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:57,738
Come on.
It would make a great story.
599
00:42:57,808 --> 00:43:00,140
Maybe. But how are
we supposed to get there?
600
00:43:00,210 --> 00:43:02,144
None of these cars work.
601
00:43:02,212 --> 00:43:04,077
Wait. See if this works.
602
00:43:07,084 --> 00:43:10,383
Hey! I got the last working car
in New York!
603
00:43:10,454 --> 00:43:13,389
This is our road, bitches! Ha-ha!
604
00:43:18,128 --> 00:43:20,824
You're right, Cindy.
That worked pretty well.
605
00:43:20,898 --> 00:43:22,229
I-
606
00:43:32,242 --> 00:43:34,107
Look at all the injured.
607
00:43:34,178 --> 00:43:35,770
It's so sad.
608
00:43:37,047 --> 00:43:39,538
Big-ass rat, man!
609
00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:41,517
Oh! That sewer took forever to fix!
610
00:43:41,585 --> 00:43:44,281
Man, I'm gonna need
a hot bath after all of that-
611
00:43:44,355 --> 00:43:46,016
What the hell happened here?
612
00:43:50,594 --> 00:43:53,290
- Zombies!
- Damn!
613
00:43:54,832 --> 00:43:56,231
Let's go!
614
00:43:57,701 --> 00:43:59,362
Don't let 'em bite you!
615
00:43:59,436 --> 00:44:02,234
Good news!
They can still feel electricity.
616
00:44:02,306 --> 00:44:05,434
Grandma?
The zombies have got my grandma!
617
00:44:05,509 --> 00:44:08,239
Die, Grandma! Die! Die!
618
00:44:08,312 --> 00:44:11,975
- I loved you! I loved you!
- Mahalik?
619
00:44:12,049 --> 00:44:14,415
Look what they did
to my grandmama!
620
00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:17,886
Whoa!
621
00:44:19,323 --> 00:44:21,257
That woman raised me from birth.
622
00:44:29,033 --> 00:44:31,831
Hey, he's got a car. He's got a car.
623
00:44:31,902 --> 00:44:33,893
Give us the car and the keys!
624
00:44:33,971 --> 00:44:37,566
This isn't my car.
I would, but I can't. It's not my car.
625
00:44:37,641 --> 00:44:41,475
It's not my car. Don't worry, kids.
The doors are locked.
626
00:44:41,545 --> 00:44:43,240
There's no possible way they can-
627
00:44:43,313 --> 00:44:46,908
Pull the robot out of chocolate.
But that's just common sense. Oh, waiter!
628
00:44:48,218 --> 00:44:50,448
- Daddy!
- Kids!
629
00:44:55,059 --> 00:44:57,619
Whoa!
630
00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:00,960
Why?
631
00:45:01,031 --> 00:45:03,090
Well.
632
00:45:03,167 --> 00:45:06,136
Get back! Get back!
633
00:45:10,140 --> 00:45:12,734
Gimme the gun.
I'm taking the car.
634
00:45:12,810 --> 00:45:14,801
What do I do about him?
635
00:45:14,878 --> 00:45:17,210
I don't want the car.
I just need a gun.
636
00:45:17,281 --> 00:45:19,545
No way I'm giving up the gun.
I want the car.
637
00:45:19,616 --> 00:45:23,609
So, you need a gun,
and you want a car.
638
00:45:23,687 --> 00:45:26,884
- What do you want?
- Well, I've never owned a knife.
639
00:45:26,957 --> 00:45:29,619
Okay. Let's all switch on three.
640
00:45:29,693 --> 00:45:32,560
One, two, three.
641
00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:36,533
Is this right?
642
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,728
I don't think so.
643
00:45:41,371 --> 00:45:44,499
Dad, they're taking the car.
644
00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:48,238
Yes, well, uh, let's keep going.
645
00:45:48,312 --> 00:45:51,247
What?
That's it? You're giving up?
646
00:45:51,315 --> 00:45:53,647
Yeah, that's right. I'm giving up.
647
00:45:53,717 --> 00:45:56,049
You want a hero?
Go find someone else.
648
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,520
Why?
649
00:45:59,923 --> 00:46:02,551
Let's go.
650
00:46:02,626 --> 00:46:04,992
Now, let me get this straight:
651
00:46:05,062 --> 00:46:08,964
The girl hugged the duck,
and then it dies?
652
00:46:09,032 --> 00:46:11,592
Mr. President,
the nation is under attack.
653
00:46:11,668 --> 00:46:13,363
Get me Homer Landsquiddy.
654
00:46:13,437 --> 00:46:15,928
You mean, "Homeland Security."
655
00:46:17,508 --> 00:46:20,204
Sir, this woman was an eyewitness
to one of the attacks.
656
00:46:20,277 --> 00:46:22,871
- What can you tell us?
- They're indestructible.
657
00:46:22,946 --> 00:46:25,608
The clothing was burned off
everyone's bodies.
658
00:46:25,682 --> 00:46:28,310
There were naked people
everywhere.
659
00:46:28,385 --> 00:46:30,853
- Were you naked?
- No.
660
00:46:30,921 --> 00:46:32,718
Thank God.
Some good news at last.
661
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,621
Get her a souvenir.
662
00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:58,206
Lil' Kim-
Lil' Kim got my sandwich.
663
00:46:59,683 --> 00:47:02,447
Look out-
Russell Crowe's got a phone!
664
00:47:02,519 --> 00:47:05,079
R. Kelly, don't pee on me!
665
00:47:06,190 --> 00:47:08,249
My lovely lady lumps!
666
00:47:08,325 --> 00:47:10,316
Where are we?
667
00:47:10,394 --> 00:47:13,591
I'm not sure,
but I think we're close.
668
00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:17,122
It's supposed to be near mile 62.
669
00:47:17,201 --> 00:47:18,930
Is something wrong?
670
00:47:19,002 --> 00:47:21,300
No, it's just...
671
00:47:21,371 --> 00:47:24,807
I met this guy,
and I wonder if he's safe.
672
00:47:24,875 --> 00:47:26,809
Oh, you'd love him, Brenda.
673
00:47:26,877 --> 00:47:29,937
What's his name?
I might've already loved him.
674
00:47:30,013 --> 00:47:31,776
Tom Ryan.
675
00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:34,977
Yeah, did him.
Big, fat Chinese guy?
676
00:47:35,052 --> 00:47:38,146
No... No.
677
00:47:38,222 --> 00:47:41,589
But he is the kind of guy that I'd like
to share the rest of my life with.
678
00:47:46,730 --> 00:47:48,755
Cindy! Look!
679
00:47:56,773 --> 00:47:58,468
What is this place?
680
00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:01,272
I don't know, but the boy's father's
somewhere in there.
681
00:48:01,345 --> 00:48:03,279
We'll have to sneak our way in.
682
00:48:03,347 --> 00:48:05,338
But we're not gonna
blend in dressed like this.
683
00:48:05,415 --> 00:48:08,350
- Brenda, look.
- He's a wonderful boy.
684
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,910
Ezekiel?
685
00:48:38,982 --> 00:48:40,916
Ezekiel, where are you?
686
00:48:46,490 --> 00:48:50,756
Ezekiel,
shall we have a foot race?
687
00:48:50,827 --> 00:48:52,761
No cheating.
688
00:49:15,652 --> 00:49:17,210
That's him!
689
00:49:17,287 --> 00:49:19,585
He's cute.
690
00:49:22,592 --> 00:49:27,427
Friends, friends. Do not fear the noise
of those of whom we do not speak.
691
00:49:27,497 --> 00:49:29,692
There is a gentle truce
between our village
692
00:49:29,766 --> 00:49:32,291
and the creatures
beyond their borders.
693
00:49:32,369 --> 00:49:34,234
Now, who would like to say grace?
694
00:49:34,304 --> 00:49:36,204
Ooh!
695
00:49:36,273 --> 00:49:38,104
Ah, Ezekiel.
696
00:49:39,409 --> 00:49:41,400
Pee-pee.
697
00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:44,413
Pee-pee vagina.
698
00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:48,743
Amen.
699
00:49:56,893 --> 00:49:59,123
Father?
700
00:49:59,196 --> 00:50:01,858
Holly.
701
00:50:01,932 --> 00:50:04,264
For what purpose
do you interrupt
702
00:50:04,334 --> 00:50:08,737
the celebration
of the domestic partnership
703
00:50:08,805 --> 00:50:11,103
of Mordecai and Hoss?
704
00:50:11,174 --> 00:50:13,108
The guards caught
two outsiders near the cabin.
705
00:50:19,816 --> 00:50:21,249
Who are you?
706
00:50:21,318 --> 00:50:24,378
I must speak with you.
I was sent by your son.
707
00:50:24,454 --> 00:50:26,513
Don't be ridiculous.
708
00:50:26,590 --> 00:50:28,854
- I have no son.
- That's not true!
709
00:50:28,925 --> 00:50:31,223
I know who you are.
I've seen the pictures.
710
00:50:31,294 --> 00:50:34,422
- I was young. I needed the work.
- No.
711
00:50:34,498 --> 00:50:36,090
At Mrs. Norris's house.
712
00:50:36,166 --> 00:50:38,566
I didn't know whose house it was.
713
00:50:38,635 --> 00:50:41,069
They drugged me.
Never mind that.
714
00:50:41,138 --> 00:50:45,268
You're outsiders.
The council will decide your fates.
715
00:50:51,381 --> 00:50:54,908
The question of the outsiders
is now at hand.
716
00:50:54,985 --> 00:50:58,580
But first, Martha,
have you some tidings?
717
00:50:58,655 --> 00:51:01,021
Nathaniel Winston
and Alice Smith
718
00:51:01,091 --> 00:51:03,059
have informed me
of their intentions.
719
00:51:03,126 --> 00:51:06,323
He intends to have sex with her
as soon as possible.
720
00:51:06,396 --> 00:51:10,457
She intends to put up a mild fight
and then give in.
721
00:51:16,973 --> 00:51:19,999
Amos, something does trouble you?
722
00:51:21,044 --> 00:51:25,447
We now have a majority
of those who wish to say "I'm"...
723
00:51:25,515 --> 00:51:27,847
instead of ๏ฟฝI am."
724
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:30,250
- I'm for that.
- I am against it.
725
00:51:31,388 --> 00:51:33,686
Silence!
726
00:51:33,757 --> 00:51:35,622
We have more important matters
to discuss.
727
00:51:35,692 --> 00:51:39,150
I fear that the presence
of the outsiders
728
00:51:39,229 --> 00:51:42,687
will attract those of whom
we do not speak.
729
00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:45,963
If you talk about those
of whom we do not speak...
730
00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:48,334
have you not spoken of that
731
00:51:48,405 --> 00:51:50,202
about which we do not talk?
732
00:51:50,273 --> 00:51:53,208
Do not speak of that
of about which
733
00:51:53,276 --> 00:51:58,077
we talk of not speaking...
about.
734
00:52:07,390 --> 00:52:11,053
Elder Hale. We should welcome
the outsiders among us.
735
00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:14,586
Jeremiah, ought not
your tongue be held?
736
00:52:14,664 --> 00:52:17,394
I am sorry, Elder Hale...
737
00:52:17,467 --> 00:52:21,665
but sometimes my tongue wiggles
beyond my ability to control it.
738
00:52:23,573 --> 00:52:27,373
This is a problem with which
I have had much experience.
739
00:52:27,444 --> 00:52:30,538
Maybe I could help him in a room
in which there are no others.
740
00:52:31,915 --> 00:52:34,145
Or you can all watch.
I don't give a shit.
741
00:52:34,217 --> 00:52:37,050
Silence.
742
00:52:40,757 --> 00:52:45,217
After this, how about you take
your thing of which we do not speak...
743
00:52:45,295 --> 00:52:47,490
and slide it up in my place
of which I like-
744
00:52:47,564 --> 00:52:49,498
Silence!
745
00:52:49,566 --> 00:52:51,898
The elders will consult.
746
00:53:00,443 --> 00:53:02,104
Ah. Much better.
747
00:53:35,312 --> 00:53:39,248
I'm not in my house, am I?
748
00:53:39,316 --> 00:53:41,216
No.
749
00:53:44,387 --> 00:53:49,120
Outsiders, we have decided
to let you stay with us...
750
00:53:49,192 --> 00:53:52,491
so that you'll be safe from
those from of whom we do not-
751
00:53:52,562 --> 00:53:54,689
Or don't.
752
00:53:54,764 --> 00:53:56,254
Speak.
753
00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:59,359
But now that you are
a part of our village...
754
00:53:59,436 --> 00:54:01,495
understand this:
755
00:54:01,571 --> 00:54:03,698
You may never leave.
756
00:54:03,773 --> 00:54:07,004
No! No!
757
00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:09,602
How did your son die?
758
00:54:09,679 --> 00:54:12,204
- The fate of the world is at stake.
- You know what to do.
759
00:54:12,282 --> 00:54:13,943
Was it you? Did you kill him?
760
00:54:14,017 --> 00:54:15,951
This is some shit
up with which we will not put.
761
00:54:16,019 --> 00:54:18,510
- I'm for that.
- I am against it.
762
00:54:21,858 --> 00:54:25,123
This village isn't
what it used to be.
763
00:54:27,530 --> 00:54:30,897
Just hours after
the devastating alien attack...
764
00:54:30,967 --> 00:54:34,266
world leaders have gathered
at the United Nations.
765
00:54:34,337 --> 00:54:37,033
In this, mankind's darkest hour...
766
00:54:37,107 --> 00:54:39,439
the human race has turned, as one...
767
00:54:39,509 --> 00:54:41,443
to the wisdom and leadership
768
00:54:41,511 --> 00:54:44,036
of the President
of the United States.
769
00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:48,050
Ladies and gentlemen,
the President of the United States.
770
00:54:48,118 --> 00:54:50,086
Go get 'em, tiger.
771
00:54:50,153 --> 00:54:52,144
They mean you, sir.
772
00:54:52,222 --> 00:54:54,019
Oh, yes, of course.
773
00:55:03,033 --> 00:55:07,231
So... an Indian, a Frenchman
and the Pope are all on a plane.
774
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:11,206
The pilot says,
"Hey, are any of you not circumcised?"
775
00:55:11,274 --> 00:55:14,209
So the Pope lifts up
his robe and says...
776
00:55:14,277 --> 00:55:16,973
"Shut up, stupid.
You don't even speak English."
777
00:55:18,581 --> 00:55:20,913
The Israeli asked the Japanese guy
to open his eyes...
778
00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:23,418
but the Japanese man says,
"I'm not squinting, you crazy Jew.
779
00:55:23,486 --> 00:55:26,853
You're the one who sold me
these cheap glasses."
780
00:55:26,923 --> 00:55:29,585
What's the difference between
a Belgian and a lump of dog shit?
781
00:55:29,659 --> 00:55:33,220
The Belgian drinks wine,
but the dog shit smells good.
782
00:55:37,634 --> 00:55:41,536
But, on a serious note,
I'm here today at the, uh...
783
00:55:42,305 --> 00:55:45,103
"un"...because the Earth
has been attacked.
784
00:55:45,175 --> 00:55:48,042
I'm happy to report that we may
have found a way to fight back.
785
00:55:48,111 --> 00:55:50,602
My military advisers
at the Pentagram
786
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:52,443
have managed
to do the impossible.
787
00:55:52,515 --> 00:55:56,178
They have captured one
of the alien heat ray guns.
788
00:55:56,252 --> 00:56:00,518
As you know, the heat ray destroys the body,
leaving behind nothing but clothes.
789
00:56:00,590 --> 00:56:03,753
Our engineers have managed to reverse
the polarity of the weapon
790
00:56:03,827 --> 00:56:07,126
in the hopes that it can now
be turned against
791
00:56:07,197 --> 00:56:09,256
the alien invaders.
792
00:56:13,536 --> 00:56:16,562
Well, where was I?
793
00:56:16,639 --> 00:56:19,802
Ah, yes. We expect that the
alien shields will be vulnerable
794
00:56:19,876 --> 00:56:22,367
to this reconfigured weapon.
795
00:56:24,347 --> 00:56:27,714
People, please! Please!
796
00:56:27,784 --> 00:56:33,120
Please, people. Now, I know that this
new technology may seem frightening...
797
00:56:33,189 --> 00:56:36,625
but I believe that deep down
inside this heat cannon
798
00:56:36,693 --> 00:56:38,126
is our best chance.
799
00:56:38,194 --> 00:56:40,628
Let me give you a demonstration.
800
00:56:40,697 --> 00:56:43,393
Now let's see if this thing
is plugged in.
801
00:56:45,969 --> 00:56:48,130
Uh... it's not a very pretty sight.
802
00:56:48,204 --> 00:56:50,468
Everything's loose
and flapping around.
803
00:56:50,540 --> 00:56:52,508
Look at this little pink thing.
804
00:56:59,549 --> 00:57:02,609
Someone get some lubricant,
and we'll slather it around in here.
805
00:57:02,685 --> 00:57:05,017
There.
806
00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:20,863
Harper. Good God,
these people are all naked.
807
00:57:20,937 --> 00:57:24,304
Have you no shame?
Have you no decency?
808
00:57:24,374 --> 00:57:26,638
- Sir, you're naked, too.
- I am?
809
00:57:26,709 --> 00:57:29,371
- I thought this was a wrinkly leather coat.
- Sir!
810
00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,038
- These aren't buttons?
- No!
811
00:57:31,114 --> 00:57:33,446
I've been pulling this thing
up and down like a zipper.
812
00:57:33,516 --> 00:57:35,177
Mr. President, please.
813
00:57:35,251 --> 00:57:37,685
There goes that duck again.
814
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,694
Yo, man, you see this red weed?
815
00:57:45,762 --> 00:57:47,753
Nope.
816
00:57:47,831 --> 00:57:49,765
Dad, how much further till Mom's?
817
00:57:49,833 --> 00:57:51,664
I don't know.
818
00:57:51,734 --> 00:57:54,328
I'm not sure how much longer
I can carry your sister.
819
00:57:54,404 --> 00:57:57,703
I've been walking
this entire time.
820
00:57:57,774 --> 00:58:00,368
- Then who the hell is-
- I'll pay you.
821
00:58:00,443 --> 00:58:03,037
Stay close, Rachel.
822
00:58:03,112 --> 00:58:06,548
Dad, look!
823
00:58:06,616 --> 00:58:09,414
Hey! Hey! You guys!
I want to help!
824
00:58:09,486 --> 00:58:11,420
Robbie! Oh, no.
825
00:58:13,056 --> 00:58:16,423
Don't move. For God's sake,
stay right there. I'll be right back!
826
00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:19,485
Hey! Hey, you guys!
I want to help.
827
00:58:21,898 --> 00:58:23,661
Awesome!
828
00:58:23,733 --> 00:58:26,327
- Wait!
- Are you crazy?
829
00:58:26,402 --> 00:58:28,529
No!
They'll pay for half my college.
830
00:58:29,939 --> 00:58:31,804
Kick ass.
831
00:58:31,875 --> 00:58:33,706
Robbie!
832
00:58:33,776 --> 00:58:35,710
- Yes!
- What's the matter with you?
833
00:58:35,778 --> 00:58:39,043
Hey, look at that guy.
This is so cool!
834
00:58:41,117 --> 00:58:44,848
Robbie! Robbie!
835
00:58:50,326 --> 00:58:52,851
Rachel! Rachel!
836
00:58:52,929 --> 00:58:55,227
Little girl, are you alone?
837
00:58:55,298 --> 00:58:57,357
You need to come with me.
838
00:58:57,433 --> 00:58:59,424
I'll keep you safe, right, kids?
839
00:58:59,502 --> 00:59:00,935
Uh-uh.
840
00:59:01,004 --> 00:59:03,063
- Do you have a little brother?
- Get away from her!
841
00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:08,204
Run away, kids!
842
00:59:09,045 --> 00:59:10,740
Toward the tripod,
if you have to!
843
00:59:10,813 --> 00:59:13,145
Don't go! I've got a Ferris wheel
and a chimp...
844
00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:15,650
and a big, soft bed
we can all get in.
845
00:59:20,189 --> 00:59:22,589
No, please!
846
00:59:22,659 --> 00:59:23,956
Not my real face!
847
00:59:24,027 --> 00:59:25,892
Not my real face!
848
00:59:25,962 --> 00:59:27,987
No!
849
00:59:33,636 --> 00:59:35,228
Over here.
850
00:59:35,305 --> 00:59:38,399
Follow me to safety.
851
00:59:38,474 --> 00:59:41,602
- Ow!
- Follow me to safety.
852
00:59:41,678 --> 00:59:44,613
- I don't know about this.
- I'm an excellent judge of character.
853
00:59:44,681 --> 00:59:47,172
All right. Yeah.
854
01:00:12,342 --> 01:00:15,277
That's it.
855
01:00:15,345 --> 01:00:16,573
Oh, Brenda.
856
01:00:16,646 --> 01:00:21,015
Yes! You did it!
857
01:00:21,084 --> 01:00:24,781
You have learned quickly
and produced splendid butter.
858
01:00:24,854 --> 01:00:27,322
Are you sure you have not
churned before?
859
01:00:27,390 --> 01:00:29,881
Well, we don't call it churning
where I come from.
860
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:39,397
Pee-pee vagina.
861
01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:55,517
Quick! Into the cellar.
862
01:00:55,585 --> 01:00:58,110
No!
863
01:00:58,187 --> 01:01:01,213
This is the cellar.
That's the cesspool.
864
01:01:01,290 --> 01:01:02,882
Damn it!
865
01:01:05,428 --> 01:01:06,759
Quick!
866
01:01:27,650 --> 01:01:30,118
Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy.
867
01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:32,347
Boogedy-boogedy-boogedy-boogedy.
868
01:01:32,422 --> 01:01:35,255
Hey! You're not monsters.
869
01:01:37,527 --> 01:01:39,085
Old Lady Henderson?
870
01:01:39,162 --> 01:01:41,562
And Pig-Face Joe!
871
01:01:46,769 --> 01:01:48,634
What happened?
872
01:01:48,705 --> 01:01:50,195
It is Henry.
873
01:01:50,273 --> 01:01:52,833
He has suffered a heart attack
874
01:01:52,909 --> 01:01:54,900
brought on by this knife.
875
01:01:56,345 --> 01:01:58,245
Who did this?
876
01:01:58,314 --> 01:02:00,248
It was... Ezekiel.
877
01:02:02,085 --> 01:02:04,076
Henry, you need a hospital.
878
01:02:04,153 --> 01:02:06,644
It's not too late.
We can help you.
879
01:02:06,723 --> 01:02:09,851
Perhaps you could start by
not leaning on the knife.
880
01:02:12,962 --> 01:02:14,623
Do not be concerned for him,
Cindy.
881
01:02:14,697 --> 01:02:18,155
We have sent our most qualified
villager for medicines.
882
01:02:31,247 --> 01:02:33,238
I am so dead.
883
01:02:33,316 --> 01:02:35,910
Please, leave me alone
with Cindy and Brenda.
884
01:02:35,985 --> 01:02:37,577
I have much to tell them.
885
01:02:40,923 --> 01:02:43,016
Listen carefully to me.
886
01:02:43,092 --> 01:02:45,083
I am not long for this world.
887
01:02:45,161 --> 01:02:47,129
- Pussy.
- Brenda!
888
01:02:47,196 --> 01:02:50,996
What? 50 Cent got shot nine times.
He's still walking around.
889
01:02:51,067 --> 01:02:54,127
Tell me, Henry, who killed the boy?
Was it you?
890
01:02:54,203 --> 01:02:58,037
No, I loved him and his mother
very much.
891
01:02:58,107 --> 01:03:00,098
I should have been with him
when he died.
892
01:03:00,176 --> 01:03:02,440
It was horrible.
893
01:03:02,512 --> 01:03:04,537
What happened?
You must tell me.
894
01:03:04,614 --> 01:03:06,775
They went to a boxing match.
895
01:03:06,849 --> 01:03:09,283
It was a women's
championship title fight.
896
01:03:10,753 --> 01:03:13,586
And there was
a terrible accident.
897
01:03:13,656 --> 01:03:15,817
Oh, my God.
898
01:03:26,702 --> 01:03:28,636
Only in America!
899
01:03:33,342 --> 01:03:36,038
All this time, I've been
searching for his killer
900
01:03:36,112 --> 01:03:38,080
when it was me, Brenda.
901
01:03:38,147 --> 01:03:40,081
It was all my fault.
902
01:03:40,149 --> 01:03:42,879
Henry, your son told me
that if I found his killer...
903
01:03:42,952 --> 01:03:44,920
I would know how
to defeat the aliens.
904
01:03:44,987 --> 01:03:47,922
And he was right.
Don't you see?
905
01:03:47,990 --> 01:03:51,118
All you have to do is-
906
01:03:54,430 --> 01:03:56,523
Who the hell
let his ass out of jail?
907
01:03:56,599 --> 01:03:58,362
His brother, the sheriff.
908
01:04:01,737 --> 01:04:04,706
Fuckin' "A."
909
01:04:09,612 --> 01:04:11,842
There you go, sweetie.
910
01:04:11,914 --> 01:04:13,848
We're gonna die, aren't we?
911
01:04:13,916 --> 01:04:18,046
Hey, nothing's gonna happen to you.
I haven't lost anyone yet.
912
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:21,578
- You've lost Robbie.
- Except Robbie.
913
01:04:21,657 --> 01:04:26,060
None of that matters right now.
What's important is that I'm here with you.
914
01:04:26,128 --> 01:04:28,062
Try and get some sleep, okay?
915
01:04:29,332 --> 01:04:31,391
Sing me
"Lullaby and Good Night"?
916
01:04:33,169 --> 01:04:35,535
I don't know that one.
917
01:04:35,605 --> 01:04:38,130
Sing me "Hushabye Mountain"?
918
01:04:38,207 --> 01:04:40,266
I'm sorry, Rachel,
I don't that one, either.
919
01:05:17,013 --> 01:05:19,447
Hey. Come on in.
920
01:05:19,515 --> 01:05:22,109
Have a seat.
921
01:05:22,184 --> 01:05:25,176
- The name's Oliver.
- Tom Ryan.
922
01:05:27,123 --> 01:05:29,887
I found this place.
Plenty of food-
923
01:05:30,860 --> 01:05:33,727
Along with two freshly killed
busybodies upstairs...
924
01:05:33,796 --> 01:05:36,993
who "owned" the place.
We could stay here forever.
925
01:05:37,066 --> 01:05:39,830
- Are you afraid?
- Of course I'm afraid.
926
01:05:39,902 --> 01:05:42,063
I'm not.
I've been around death plenty.
927
01:05:42,138 --> 01:05:44,629
I used to drive an ambulance
in the city...
928
01:05:44,707 --> 01:05:48,302
but, apparently, I wasn't
a very strong driver.
929
01:05:48,377 --> 01:05:50,709
It seems I was killing more people
than I was saving.
930
01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:53,476
Something about that siren
got me excited.
931
01:05:53,549 --> 01:05:57,110
Wham! Carnage.
932
01:05:57,186 --> 01:05:59,620
But this is different.
This is a war.
933
01:05:59,689 --> 01:06:01,987
No, it's an extermination.
934
01:06:02,058 --> 01:06:04,822
It's no more of a war than there's a war
between men and maggots...
935
01:06:04,894 --> 01:06:07,226
or dragons and wolves...
936
01:06:07,296 --> 01:06:11,426
or men riding dragons,
throwing wolves at maggots.
937
01:06:11,500 --> 01:06:15,197
Damn it, Tom. Can't you understand
what I'm trying to tell you?
938
01:06:15,271 --> 01:06:17,762
These aliens must have a weakness.
939
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:20,240
I heard that the Japs killed
a few of 'em over in Kikkoman.
940
01:06:20,309 --> 01:06:23,142
Kikkoman.
That's-That's soy sauce.
941
01:06:23,212 --> 01:06:24,975
Right, yeah. Low sodium.
942
01:06:25,047 --> 01:06:28,210
What I'm trying to say, Tom, is that you
and I should be fighting these things.
943
01:06:28,284 --> 01:06:30,684
It's us that should be coming up
from under the ground.
944
01:06:30,753 --> 01:06:32,812
Of course, we'll have to
bury ourselves first...
945
01:06:32,888 --> 01:06:34,219
but it'll be worth it.
946
01:06:34,290 --> 01:06:36,417
Cool breeze. No sunblock. Worms.
947
01:06:36,492 --> 01:06:39,484
When we build our own tripods,
they'll have four legs.
948
01:06:39,562 --> 01:06:41,530
I gotta show ya something.
949
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:47,892
We'll tunnel up from behind
and scare the piss out of ๏ฟฝem.
950
01:06:52,908 --> 01:06:55,399
Wish we had some shovels,
don't you?
951
01:07:04,587 --> 01:07:06,817
Dad.
952
01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:15,390
Daddy!
953
01:08:15,458 --> 01:08:17,085
Rachel!
954
01:08:19,628 --> 01:08:23,462
Rachel! Rachel!
955
01:08:32,808 --> 01:08:35,743
What's the secret, Brenda?
What am I missing?
956
01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:40,916
Oh, please!
More fake monsters?
957
01:08:48,824 --> 01:08:52,453
Cindy!
958
01:09:08,244 --> 01:09:11,441
Help! Help!
959
01:09:12,815 --> 01:09:15,807
I promised I'd find you, didn't I?
960
01:09:29,598 --> 01:09:32,396
Where are we?
What is this?
961
01:09:32,468 --> 01:09:35,528
Some kind of basket
attached to the tripod.
962
01:09:35,604 --> 01:09:37,265
Jesus!
963
01:09:37,339 --> 01:09:40,240
I know, it's horrible.
But why?
964
01:09:40,309 --> 01:09:42,140
What are the aliens
gonna do to us?
965
01:09:42,211 --> 01:09:44,145
I don't know,
but they're taking everyone-
966
01:09:44,213 --> 01:09:46,909
young, old, rich, poor, Chingy.
967
01:09:58,093 --> 01:10:00,186
- Daddy!
- Rachel!
968
01:10:00,262 --> 01:10:03,663
- No!
- Daddy! Help!
969
01:10:03,732 --> 01:10:05,632
Tom!
970
01:10:15,477 --> 01:10:18,139
Am I dead?
971
01:10:18,214 --> 01:10:20,307
You're not dead.
972
01:10:30,025 --> 01:10:32,459
- Brenda!
- Cindy!
973
01:10:32,528 --> 01:10:35,326
Hey... could be worse.
974
01:10:38,133 --> 01:10:41,398
- You want to switch?
- Okay.
975
01:10:41,470 --> 01:10:44,371
Brenda, look!
976
01:10:44,440 --> 01:10:48,035
I don't believe it!
The aliens killed a dinosaur!
977
01:10:52,214 --> 01:10:56,310
Hello, humans.
Welcome to the inside of the command tripod.
978
01:10:57,119 --> 01:10:59,587
Where's Rachel? What have
you done with my daughter?
979
01:10:59,655 --> 01:11:03,523
All in good time, Tom.
But first, I want to play a game.
980
01:11:03,592 --> 01:11:07,392
The devices you wear
will trigger in 60 seconds.
981
01:11:07,463 --> 01:11:11,923
The switch on the wall
behind Cindy will disable them.
982
01:11:12,001 --> 01:11:13,866
But where is the key?
983
01:11:13,936 --> 01:11:15,528
I'll give you a hint, Cindy.
984
01:11:16,972 --> 01:11:18,701
Let the game begin.
985
01:11:18,774 --> 01:11:22,505
I... I don't get it.
986
01:11:22,578 --> 01:11:27,208
Okay...
maybe this will help you "see."
987
01:11:34,156 --> 01:11:37,751
You want me to... cut something?
988
01:11:37,826 --> 01:11:41,091
That should be obvious, yes.
989
01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:44,599
No.
990
01:11:46,735 --> 01:11:49,761
No!
The key is behind your eye, okay?
991
01:11:55,778 --> 01:11:59,111
Zoltar, get in here!
This one's gonna do it!
992
01:12:03,152 --> 01:12:05,416
Fake eye.
993
01:12:05,487 --> 01:12:07,819
Bad bar fight in '96.
994
01:12:11,627 --> 01:12:14,061
Oh.
995
01:12:16,231 --> 01:12:20,167
Oh... oh, I hope this doesn't
come between us.
996
01:12:20,235 --> 01:12:22,226
Of course not.
997
01:12:29,011 --> 01:12:31,639
Is it too late
for me to try this on?
998
01:12:31,714 --> 01:12:33,579
Silence!
The game is not yet over.
999
01:12:36,085 --> 01:12:37,746
- Rachel!
- Daddy!
1000
01:12:37,820 --> 01:12:40,254
- Robbie!
Daddy!
1001
01:12:44,193 --> 01:12:48,425
The only thing keeping
your children alive, Tom, is you.
1002
01:12:48,497 --> 01:12:50,988
Well, we had a good run.
1003
01:12:54,670 --> 01:12:57,332
Ha! You weren't expecting that,
were you?
1004
01:12:57,406 --> 01:13:00,341
On the contrary,
I was counting on it.
1005
01:13:06,115 --> 01:13:08,811
I call it..."the nutcracker."
1006
01:13:08,884 --> 01:13:10,818
Why?
1007
01:13:10,886 --> 01:13:13,616
Of course.
1008
01:13:19,294 --> 01:13:24,459
Tempura. Sushi. Sashimi!
1009
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:30,668
Oh, my- Oh, my gosh.
1010
01:13:30,739 --> 01:13:34,334
Of course. Follow the blood.
Henry was his stepdad.
1011
01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:36,901
You're the little boy's real father!
1012
01:13:36,979 --> 01:13:38,879
Where did you even meet her?
1013
01:13:38,947 --> 01:13:41,415
It was spring break in Cabo. So what?
1014
01:13:41,483 --> 01:13:43,815
I blended in.
Seriously, who gives a crap?
1015
01:13:43,886 --> 01:13:45,217
What's this?
1016
01:13:47,723 --> 01:13:49,657
Enjoy your purple nurple, Tom.
1017
01:13:52,928 --> 01:13:55,021
Please, your son
wouldn't want this.
1018
01:13:55,097 --> 01:13:57,895
His soul walks the Earth because
of the pain you've caused him.
1019
01:13:57,966 --> 01:14:00,594
No. I have crossed a galaxy
for revenge.
1020
01:14:00,669 --> 01:14:02,864
But it's my fault.
Let the others go.
1021
01:14:02,938 --> 01:14:06,101
Oh, I don't think so.
Look upon him as he writhes!
1022
01:14:06,175 --> 01:14:09,576
Hey, Cindy!
Look, I'm on TV, y'all! Check it out!
1023
01:14:09,645 --> 01:14:11,738
I'm gonna give a shout out
to all my peeps!
1024
01:14:14,183 --> 01:14:15,878
Have you lost your mind?
1025
01:14:15,951 --> 01:14:18,385
No one... bitch slaps... Brenda!
1026
01:14:18,454 --> 01:14:20,615
Zoltar, help!
1027
01:14:20,689 --> 01:14:24,125
Oh, oh!
This is some bullshit!
1028
01:14:24,193 --> 01:14:27,560
I know you hold a grudge against humanity
for your son's death, but-
1029
01:14:27,629 --> 01:14:29,961
Oh, wet willy!
1030
01:14:30,032 --> 01:14:33,263
Killing us won't bring
your little boy back.
1031
01:14:33,335 --> 01:14:36,236
No. You will all pay
for what you have done.
1032
01:14:36,305 --> 01:14:38,398
Besides,
I've already built this thing.
1033
01:14:39,842 --> 01:14:42,902
When the trap closes on you,
it will lock the chain in place.
1034
01:14:42,978 --> 01:14:44,969
Your children will be saved...
1035
01:14:45,047 --> 01:14:47,641
but you will suffer a terrible death.
1036
01:14:47,716 --> 01:14:50,378
Can you hang on
to the ones you love?
1037
01:14:50,452 --> 01:14:52,579
You have 60 seconds.
1038
01:14:54,156 --> 01:14:57,819
- No.
- Don't worry, kids. I won't quit on you.
1039
01:14:59,361 --> 01:15:01,295
It's okay to let go, Dad.
1040
01:15:01,363 --> 01:15:03,923
All you ever had to do
was show that you loved me.
1041
01:15:05,200 --> 01:15:07,464
And show me what it means
to be a man.
1042
01:15:07,536 --> 01:15:10,061
And show me
that I could love again.
1043
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:12,969
We forgive you, Dad.
1044
01:15:24,186 --> 01:15:26,154
The spikes- they stopped!
1045
01:15:29,825 --> 01:15:32,191
- Kids!
- Daddy!
1046
01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:39,501
Are you... sparing our lives?
1047
01:15:39,568 --> 01:15:41,502
Anyone can hold a grudge...
1048
01:15:41,570 --> 01:15:43,868
but it takes real courage to forgive.
1049
01:15:43,939 --> 01:15:47,875
- The invasion is over.
- And?
1050
01:15:47,943 --> 01:15:51,003
And I guess I'm sorry or something.
I don't know.
1051
01:15:51,079 --> 01:15:52,706
Like you mean it.
1052
01:15:52,781 --> 01:15:54,715
Okay.
1053
01:15:54,783 --> 01:15:57,377
I'm sorry for killing millions of people.
Whatever!
1054
01:15:57,452 --> 01:16:00,114
Wait... where's Brenda?
1055
01:16:02,724 --> 01:16:04,351
What?
1056
01:16:04,426 --> 01:16:06,826
We're at peace now.
I was just sealing the deal.
1057
01:16:08,096 --> 01:16:11,429
Come on, Brenda. Let's go.
1058
01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:15,402
Bye, Zoltar!
Don't lose my number!
1059
01:16:17,506 --> 01:16:19,497
Tell me you didn't catch something.
1060
01:16:19,575 --> 01:16:22,476
Nah, it's cool.
She said she was a virgin.
1061
01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:27,046
We are so fucked.
1062
01:16:42,264 --> 01:16:44,198
Mommy!
1063
01:16:49,071 --> 01:16:50,368
Thank you.
1064
01:16:52,774 --> 01:16:54,503
Hey, look, kids- Grandpa.
1065
01:16:56,478 --> 01:16:58,207
No, that's my new husband.
1066
01:17:04,987 --> 01:17:09,617
Oh, I think it's romantic-
the way love can find anyone.
1067
01:17:13,528 --> 01:17:16,986
And so, love triumphed in the end...
1068
01:17:17,065 --> 01:17:19,363
and the invaders were destroyed.
1069
01:17:19,434 --> 01:17:22,164
For this world, our world...
1070
01:17:22,237 --> 01:17:24,205
is the world of man.
1071
01:17:24,272 --> 01:17:27,298
We have earned the right
to live here...
1072
01:17:27,376 --> 01:17:31,745
and as long as we love,
humanity will prevail.
1073
01:17:31,813 --> 01:17:35,647
Each of our enemies has failed
in their quest to defeat us...
1074
01:17:35,717 --> 01:17:40,450
each has been undone
by their own nefarious plans.
1075
01:17:40,522 --> 01:17:43,980
Among all worlds,
across all galaxies...
1076
01:17:44,059 --> 01:17:47,722
we stand above, we stand alone.
1077
01:17:47,796 --> 01:17:52,426
None can threaten our existence,
none can challenge our spirit.
1078
01:17:52,501 --> 01:17:54,435
And why?
1079
01:17:54,503 --> 01:17:57,802
Of all the qualities
that make us unique...
1080
01:17:57,873 --> 01:18:00,535
it is love that is
our greatest strength...
1081
01:18:00,609 --> 01:18:03,237
and because of love, mankind-
1082
01:18:07,282 --> 01:18:10,513
Thank you.
Hello, and welcome to the show.
1083
01:18:10,585 --> 01:18:14,351
We have got a very special man
with some very special news.
1084
01:18:14,423 --> 01:18:17,654
That's right- he's in the building!
The man who saved the world!
1085
01:18:17,726 --> 01:18:19,990
Put your hands together
for Tom Ryan!
1086
01:18:23,065 --> 01:18:25,659
- Yes!
- My best friend.
1087
01:18:34,609 --> 01:18:36,873
Whoo!
1088
01:18:41,516 --> 01:18:44,314
- Wow.
- That's it?
1089
01:18:44,386 --> 01:18:46,081
Okay.
1090
01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:53,659
- So, you're in love.
- I am. I'm in love.
1091
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:01,200
He's lost it.
The boy's lost it.
1092
01:19:01,269 --> 01:19:03,897
Yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
1093
01:19:09,544 --> 01:19:12,138
- You are adorable when you are in love.
- Thank you.
1094
01:19:12,214 --> 01:19:15,513
- Tell us all about her.
- She's great. She's really terrific.
1095
01:19:15,584 --> 01:19:17,245
So it's complicated.
1096
01:19:17,319 --> 01:19:19,583
Yeah, you were saying
that-that she's complex, I guess.
1097
01:19:19,654 --> 01:19:21,485
Shut up!
1098
01:19:30,098 --> 01:19:33,363
- Ow!
- You're insane. Tom Ryan is insane!
1099
01:19:33,435 --> 01:19:35,460
- I'm insane!
- Are you happy?
1100
01:19:35,537 --> 01:19:37,505
- You're happy?
- I'm so happy. Hey! Look!
1101
01:19:37,572 --> 01:19:42,305
Whoa!
1102
01:19:42,377 --> 01:19:44,368
Tom. Okay, you've got balls.
1103
01:19:46,948 --> 01:19:50,509
Yeah!
1104
01:19:50,585 --> 01:19:52,382
Shoe!
1105
01:19:57,225 --> 01:19:59,716
I love Cindy Campbell!
1106
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:02,229
I can jump on things!
1107
01:20:03,265 --> 01:20:05,233
Whoa!
1108
01:20:08,703 --> 01:20:11,934
Wowee-wowee-wowee-wowee-wowee!
1109
01:20:12,007 --> 01:20:13,941
Wowee- wowee-wowee-wowee!
1110
01:20:14,009 --> 01:20:17,342
Ya-ha! Whoa!
1111
01:20:21,650 --> 01:20:23,447
Okay, um, Tom...
isn't Cindy here?
1112
01:20:23,518 --> 01:20:26,282
I know she's here.
Cindy, I know you're in the building.
1113
01:20:26,354 --> 01:20:28,686
- Cindy! Cindy!
- Cindy! Cindy!
1114
01:20:28,757 --> 01:20:33,751
- Let's bring her out right now!
- I love this woman! I love this woman!
1115
01:20:42,237 --> 01:20:45,206
Oh, God! God!
1116
01:20:45,273 --> 01:20:48,208
Oh, God!
82484
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