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1
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- Action.
- Design.
2
00:00:33,604 --> 00:00:35,934
♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪
3
00:00:37,102 --> 00:00:40,070
♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪
4
00:00:46,815 --> 00:00:49,981
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪
5
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:53,127
♪ It's the best time
of the year ♪
6
00:00:54,361 --> 00:00:57,791
♪ I don't know
if there'll be snow ♪
7
00:00:57,826 --> 00:01:00,398
♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪
8
00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:03,764
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪
9
00:01:03,799 --> 00:01:06,272
♪ And when you walk
down the street... ♪
10
00:01:08,309 --> 00:01:10,639
Another one?
11
00:01:10,674 --> 00:01:14,643
Well, I'm still vertical,
so I'd like to change that.
12
00:01:14,678 --> 00:01:17,943
♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪
13
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:20,319
♪ Hung where you can see ♪
14
00:01:21,355 --> 00:01:23,652
♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪
15
00:01:23,687 --> 00:01:25,753
Ho, ho.
16
00:01:27,394 --> 00:01:29,460
Bitter. Pint.
17
00:01:30,694 --> 00:01:32,430
You just get off?
18
00:01:32,465 --> 00:01:35,169
♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪
19
00:01:35,204 --> 00:01:37,501
♪ Oh, by golly,
have a holly... ♪
20
00:01:37,536 --> 00:01:39,437
I'm taking a break.
21
00:01:39,472 --> 00:01:41,637
Between shifts,
I guess you could say.
22
00:01:41,672 --> 00:01:43,342
- Hmm.
- You ain't driving, are you?
23
00:01:43,377 --> 00:01:46,180
I steer a little, but the
reindeer do most of the work.
24
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:50,547
Mm-hmm.
25
00:01:50,582 --> 00:01:52,615
This is my, uh,
fourth year as a Santa.
26
00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:53,946
Ah.
27
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,288
How about you?
28
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:57,620
Lost count.
29
00:01:57,655 --> 00:02:00,623
I forget why I started doing it
in the first place.
30
00:02:00,658 --> 00:02:03,692
Same reason anybody
does anything.
31
00:02:03,727 --> 00:02:05,694
The money.
32
00:02:05,729 --> 00:02:08,301
Money. Money.
33
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,303
This whole planet runs on greed.
34
00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:17,475
It's the look on
the kiddies' faces, innit?
35
00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:19,213
That's what does it for me.
36
00:02:19,248 --> 00:02:22,843
Ah, the look. Yeah, that look.
37
00:02:22,878 --> 00:02:25,076
Lasts about two seconds.
38
00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:27,353
As soon as they're finished
unwrapping,
39
00:02:27,388 --> 00:02:29,916
they want the next present,
40
00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:32,589
they want the next cool thing.
41
00:02:32,624 --> 00:02:34,591
That's how this world works.
42
00:02:34,626 --> 00:02:36,692
And kids...
What kids have become.
43
00:02:36,727 --> 00:02:40,894
They're just like
little junkies.
44
00:02:40,929 --> 00:02:43,501
They're little shits.
They just demand.
45
00:02:43,536 --> 00:02:45,162
They don't believe.
46
00:02:45,197 --> 00:02:48,770
They just want, crave, consume.
47
00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:56,173
Maybe this is my last year.
48
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,287
The last Christmas.
49
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:07,591
Well, I can't stand seeing
another Santa in distress.
50
00:03:08,825 --> 00:03:10,363
Put his drinks on my tab.
51
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:11,925
- Okay?
- Yeah.
52
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,466
Oh, very merry of you. Okay.
53
00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:16,963
I better get going.
54
00:03:16,998 --> 00:03:18,965
Presents aren't gonna
deliver themselves.
55
00:03:20,232 --> 00:03:22,276
Oh, uh...
56
00:03:22,311 --> 00:03:24,135
For your grandson.
Save me a trip.
57
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,203
It's, uh, that new video game.
58
00:03:26,238 --> 00:03:28,810
It's Astro Blaster,
Blaster Astro.
59
00:03:28,845 --> 00:03:30,812
I-I don't know.
60
00:03:30,847 --> 00:03:32,286
Merry Christmas.
61
00:03:32,321 --> 00:03:34,651
How'd he know
my grandson's name?
62
00:03:34,686 --> 00:03:37,951
How'd he know I have
a grandson? -
63
00:03:37,986 --> 00:03:42,054
Oi! That door leads to the roof.
64
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,462
Piss head.
65
00:03:43,497 --> 00:03:45,959
Go easy on him. It's Christmas.
66
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:51,602
Hey! You can't be up here.
67
00:03:51,637 --> 00:03:55,166
If you break your neck,
I'm the one...
68
00:04:15,023 --> 00:04:17,298
My God.
69
00:04:22,536 --> 00:04:24,338
It's...
70
00:04:26,408 --> 00:04:27,704
beauti...
71
00:05:14,753 --> 00:05:17,017
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
72
00:05:17,052 --> 00:05:19,217
There she is. Hello, muffin.
73
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,363
Let's go see Grandma.
74
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,828
Ooh.
75
00:05:25,863 --> 00:05:27,896
Merry Christmas.
76
00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:31,768
Merry Christmas, Trudy.
77
00:05:31,803 --> 00:05:33,099
Merry...
78
00:05:33,134 --> 00:05:34,837
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
79
00:05:34,872 --> 00:05:38,071
Merry Christmas, Daddy,
ya filthy animal.
80
00:05:39,778 --> 00:05:41,844
She got to stay up late
and watch Home Alone.
81
00:05:41,879 --> 00:05:42,911
Uh-huh.
82
00:05:42,946 --> 00:05:45,848
It was so funny.
83
00:05:45,883 --> 00:05:48,378
- Yep.
- That... that hurts.
84
00:05:48,413 --> 00:05:49,786
- All morning.
- Okay, um...
85
00:05:49,821 --> 00:05:51,656
Thank you.
86
00:05:52,791 --> 00:05:54,758
For doing this.
87
00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:56,826
I'm not doing it for you.
88
00:05:58,632 --> 00:06:00,764
- It's Christmas!
- Yeah!
89
00:06:20,082 --> 00:06:21,653
Merry Christmas, Al.
90
00:06:21,688 --> 00:06:23,457
Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas.
91
00:06:23,492 --> 00:06:25,492
- Mr. Lightstone.
- Hey, Al.
92
00:06:25,527 --> 00:06:26,955
Hey, you back there, Tru?
93
00:06:26,990 --> 00:06:28,627
Yeah, I bet you're excited
for Christmas.
94
00:06:28,662 --> 00:06:30,563
What did you ask Santa for?
95
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,224
Not to work on Christmas Eve.
96
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,731
Must've been naughty this year,
97
00:06:33,766 --> 00:06:35,502
- 'cause here I am.
- Mm-hmm.
98
00:06:35,537 --> 00:06:37,504
Just make sure you let Santa
through the gates later, Al.
99
00:06:37,539 --> 00:06:38,934
- Yeah.
- Have a merry one, now.
100
00:06:38,969 --> 00:06:40,936
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Al.
101
00:06:40,971 --> 00:06:42,971
Merry Christmas, Tru.
102
00:06:43,006 --> 00:06:44,401
- Thank you, Al.
- Yeah.
103
00:07:07,459 --> 00:07:09,899
I can't remember
where the second one is.
104
00:07:13,201 --> 00:07:15,036
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
105
00:07:15,071 --> 00:07:17,005
Merry Christmas.
106
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,106
Hope you're on the nice list.
107
00:07:19,141 --> 00:07:21,812
That doesn't go over there.
108
00:07:29,514 --> 00:07:31,283
Excuse me.
109
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:37,322
What the hell is this?
110
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,566
You are the worst
catering company on the planet.
111
00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:41,568
It's lengthwise, not width.
112
00:07:41,603 --> 00:07:43,394
Unbelievable.
113
00:07:59,951 --> 00:08:01,181
Okay.
114
00:08:01,216 --> 00:08:03,348
Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas.
115
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,383
- Hi.
- I'm fine. Thank you so much.
116
00:08:08,124 --> 00:08:11,631
I'll never get over the fact
that you grew up like this.
117
00:08:13,063 --> 00:08:15,393
My therapist says
I'll never get over it, either.
118
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,604
I need a drink.
119
00:08:17,639 --> 00:08:19,199
♪ Two turtledoves ♪
120
00:08:19,234 --> 00:08:22,268
♪ And a partridge
in a pear tree... ♪
121
00:08:22,303 --> 00:08:25,370
Hey, look at that.
122
00:08:34,315 --> 00:08:36,282
Hi, Linda.
123
00:08:36,317 --> 00:08:38,350
- Hey.
- How's it going, Alva?
124
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,253
Mm-hmm. You gained weight.
125
00:08:40,288 --> 00:08:43,091
Looks good on you, though.
126
00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:45,027
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
127
00:08:45,062 --> 00:08:46,633
'Sup, limp dick?
128
00:08:48,263 --> 00:08:49,801
I got great feelings
about this Christmas.
129
00:08:49,836 --> 00:08:52,034
- You want to know why?
- Yeah.
130
00:08:52,069 --> 00:08:53,970
'Cause I think this is the year
131
00:08:54,005 --> 00:08:55,972
that Mom's gonna
kick herself upstairs
132
00:08:56,007 --> 00:08:58,645
and choose one of us
to start running the show.
133
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:02,913
And I got to tell you, Jason,
that I'm gunning for your ass.
134
00:09:04,576 --> 00:09:06,279
What would a Lightstone
family Christmas be
135
00:09:06,314 --> 00:09:08,050
without groveling
and infighting?
136
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,086
Your rosé, ma'am.
137
00:09:11,121 --> 00:09:13,759
Honey, smile. It's Christmas.
138
00:09:13,794 --> 00:09:14,925
Mm.
139
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,421
Good. Good girl.
140
00:09:18,931 --> 00:09:21,998
I am sorry about my sister.
141
00:09:22,033 --> 00:09:24,638
♪ Making spirits bright ♪
142
00:09:24,673 --> 00:09:27,498
♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing... ♪
143
00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:29,610
It is really nice to see you.
144
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,977
To have you here.
145
00:09:34,012 --> 00:09:37,310
♪ Jingle all the way... ♪
146
00:09:37,345 --> 00:09:40,610
Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up
on all the hot goss.
147
00:09:40,645 --> 00:09:42,656
Hot goss. Okay.
148
00:09:42,691 --> 00:09:46,418
Um, well, you remember Bert,
my sister's pride and joy.
149
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:50,191
Yo, yo, yo.
This is the Bert Locker
150
00:09:50,226 --> 00:09:54,096
living that bling life
on Christmas Eve.
151
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:57,099
Hashtag "blessed."
152
00:09:57,134 --> 00:09:59,772
He just got
what I can only assume
153
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,841
will be his first of many
sexual harassment accusations.
154
00:10:02,876 --> 00:10:04,711
Mom paid off the school,
155
00:10:04,746 --> 00:10:06,680
and now the gymnasium
is named after us.
156
00:10:06,715 --> 00:10:08,682
Of course she did.
157
00:10:08,717 --> 00:10:09,815
What about Tragic Mike?
158
00:10:09,850 --> 00:10:11,542
All I'm saying is,
159
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:13,379
if I was on one of those planes,
160
00:10:13,414 --> 00:10:15,381
9/11 would've ended
with a bunch of terrorists
161
00:10:15,416 --> 00:10:19,121
skydiving over Connecticut
without their parachutes.
162
00:10:19,156 --> 00:10:21,156
- Yeah. You like that?
- Yes. Yes.
163
00:10:21,191 --> 00:10:23,389
- Yeah, I do like it.
- Ooh.
164
00:10:23,424 --> 00:10:25,655
- Kiss me in front of my son.
- Now, huh?
165
00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:28,361
Mm...
166
00:10:28,396 --> 00:10:30,396
He might actually be
a decent actor.
167
00:10:30,431 --> 00:10:32,497
-Hmm. -He's been doing
an Oscar-worthy job
168
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,005
- of pretending to find
my sister appealing. -
169
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,370
Now he wants Mom
to fund a film for him.
170
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,540
- It's Gertrude!
- It's Mom.
171
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,575
- Okay, let's do this.
- Okay, okay. Come on.
172
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,214
- Come on. Bert, get over here.
- No. Mom. Mom!
173
00:10:46,249 --> 00:10:47,545
- Positions.
- Game time, buddy.
174
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,316
- Okay. Okay.
- This is my good side.
175
00:10:49,351 --> 00:10:51,054
I'm busy. -ALVA:
We've gone over this! Come on!
176
00:10:51,089 --> 00:10:52,220
Gosh. Okay.
177
00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:53,419
Bert, get in the middle.
178
00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:54,761
So it begins.
179
00:10:54,796 --> 00:10:56,653
Seriously, come.
You know what that means.
180
00:10:56,688 --> 00:10:58,765
Shall we jockey forward?
181
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,459
No.
182
00:11:01,693 --> 00:11:04,166
No, we can hang back.
183
00:11:04,201 --> 00:11:05,695
Yeah.
184
00:11:05,730 --> 00:11:07,268
Trudy, honey?
185
00:11:09,140 --> 00:11:10,436
Come on over here.
186
00:11:11,813 --> 00:11:14,011
Just, like...
187
00:11:14,046 --> 00:11:15,749
Threaten 'em or bribe 'em.
188
00:11:15,784 --> 00:11:17,080
This isn't rocket science.
189
00:11:17,115 --> 00:11:18,576
Same shit we always do.
190
00:11:20,217 --> 00:11:21,579
That's what?
191
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,889
That's the best you can do?
192
00:11:23,924 --> 00:11:25,759
Excited to see your grandma?
193
00:11:25,794 --> 00:11:27,189
Listen, you cocksucker.
194
00:11:27,224 --> 00:11:29,092
It's Christmas,
so why don't you take
195
00:11:29,127 --> 00:11:31,028
your best offer, gift wrap it,
196
00:11:31,063 --> 00:11:33,965
and ram it up your fucking box.
197
00:11:35,397 --> 00:11:37,771
Maybe you don't
realize who I am.
198
00:11:37,806 --> 00:11:39,267
Those were Grandma words.
You know, forget them.
199
00:11:39,302 --> 00:11:41,071
Oh, boy.
Look at Mr. Cool back here.
200
00:11:41,106 --> 00:11:43,370
Yeah, what's your angle, man?
Hmm?
201
00:11:43,405 --> 00:11:45,911
No angle.
I'm not doing anything.
202
00:11:45,946 --> 00:11:47,473
Oh, yeah.
203
00:11:47,508 --> 00:11:49,244
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!
204
00:11:49,279 --> 00:11:52,049
Don't shit in my mouth
and tell me it's chocolate cake.
205
00:11:52,084 --> 00:11:53,380
Grandma's cool.
206
00:11:53,415 --> 00:11:55,745
I can make that story go away...
207
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:57,417
I think your brother's
up to something.
208
00:11:57,452 --> 00:11:59,122
No, I just decided
to let you guys
209
00:11:59,157 --> 00:12:00,959
have all the fun
sucking up to Mom today.
210
00:12:00,994 --> 00:12:03,720
Please. You are King Suck-up.
211
00:12:03,755 --> 00:12:05,755
You named your kid Gertrude.
212
00:12:07,297 --> 00:12:09,396
Alva, you named
your son Bertrude.
213
00:12:09,431 --> 00:12:11,596
Okay.
214
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,499
Sorry, Bert,
but that's not a real name.
215
00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:16,073
Sorry, Linda. We can't all be
lucky enough to have daughters.
216
00:12:16,108 --> 00:12:17,844
Mom, I can hear you.
217
00:12:19,210 --> 00:12:21,672
You know something we don't.
What is it?
218
00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:23,278
No, I don't. I don't.
219
00:12:23,313 --> 00:12:24,576
I got it. Bingo.
220
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:25,852
I'm onto you, man. Come on!
221
00:12:25,887 --> 00:12:27,612
- We were just...
- Come on,
222
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:28,954
come on, come on, come on.
223
00:12:28,989 --> 00:12:31,088
- You big sack of shit.
- Ooh.
224
00:12:31,123 --> 00:12:32,859
No wonder your husband left you.
225
00:12:32,894 --> 00:12:34,960
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
226
00:12:36,227 --> 00:12:38,458
Merry Christmas to you, too,
Senator.
227
00:12:39,461 --> 00:12:41,164
- Merry Christmas, Mommy.
- Merry Christmas.
228
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,299
Merry Christmas.
229
00:12:44,334 --> 00:12:46,730
Why in the hell are you standing
all the way back there?
230
00:12:47,876 --> 00:12:49,766
Merry Christmas, Grandma!
231
00:12:49,801 --> 00:12:51,878
- Aw.
- Little bitch.
232
00:12:51,913 --> 00:12:54,309
Little Gertrude. And how is
my favorite granddaughter?
233
00:12:54,344 --> 00:12:56,707
Everybody calls me Trudy now.
234
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,346
Trudy?
235
00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:02,152
-Well, that makes her
sound like a whore. -Okay.
236
00:13:02,187 --> 00:13:04,550
Oh, she doesn't even know
the meaning of the word.
237
00:13:04,585 --> 00:13:06,992
I'm starving. Let's eat.
238
00:13:07,027 --> 00:13:08,554
Great.
239
00:13:08,589 --> 00:13:10,963
And, Mom, I think Gertrude
is a beautiful name.
240
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,328
Mm-hmm.
I only call her Gertrude.
241
00:13:13,363 --> 00:13:14,659
- Merry Christmas, Gertrude.
- Come on, Bertrude.
242
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:18,366
♪ When the kids
are fast asleep ♪
243
00:13:18,401 --> 00:13:20,973
♪ Gently down the stairs
we'll creep ♪
244
00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:25,571
♪ Then we'll lock and bolt
all the doors ♪
245
00:13:25,606 --> 00:13:29,146
♪ Just you and me
and Santa Claus ♪
246
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,480
♪ We'll be as quiet
as quiet can be ♪
247
00:13:33,515 --> 00:13:36,846
♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪
248
00:13:36,881 --> 00:13:40,586
♪ We'll be crawling around
on all fours ♪
249
00:13:40,621 --> 00:13:42,357
♪ Just you and me ♪
250
00:13:42,392 --> 00:13:44,854
♪ And Santa Claus ♪
251
00:13:52,369 --> 00:13:54,336
♪ For soon will be ♪
252
00:13:54,371 --> 00:13:56,107
♪ That magic time ♪
253
00:13:56,142 --> 00:13:58,703
♪ When we hear
that midnight chime ♪
254
00:14:00,476 --> 00:14:02,080
♪ When that flying sleigh ♪
255
00:14:02,115 --> 00:14:04,445
♪ Finally flies away ♪
256
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,712
♪ We'll have a very merry
Christmas Day ♪
257
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:12,123
♪ We'll raise a toast
to the team with the most ♪
258
00:14:12,158 --> 00:14:15,522
♪ The best there ever was ♪
259
00:14:15,557 --> 00:14:19,559
♪ You and me
and Santa Claus... ♪
260
00:14:19,594 --> 00:14:22,133
Another fucking Christmas.
261
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,435
I made these all by myself.
262
00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:29,140
- No way.
- Mm-hmm.
263
00:14:29,175 --> 00:14:31,142
I even made one
that looks exactly like Santa.
264
00:14:31,177 --> 00:14:33,573
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
265
00:14:34,576 --> 00:14:35,982
Santa gets a candy cane, too?
266
00:14:36,017 --> 00:14:37,280
Yeah.
267
00:14:37,315 --> 00:14:38,677
Mm, okay.
268
00:14:40,186 --> 00:14:41,746
It's perfect.
269
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,550
No peeking.
270
00:14:43,585 --> 00:14:45,882
This house has so many chimneys.
271
00:14:47,523 --> 00:14:49,589
How will Santa know
which one to come down?
272
00:14:49,624 --> 00:14:51,426
Oh, Santa just knows.
273
00:14:51,461 --> 00:14:52,966
Christmas magic.
274
00:14:56,136 --> 00:14:57,971
Honey, what's wrong?
275
00:14:58,006 --> 00:15:01,139
Daddy never took me to see
Santa at the mall this year.
276
00:15:02,142 --> 00:15:04,175
He didn't.
277
00:15:06,641 --> 00:15:08,641
I am so sorry.
278
00:15:10,612 --> 00:15:12,513
This year has been weird.
279
00:15:12,548 --> 00:15:16,187
I never got to tell Santa
what I wanted for Christmas.
280
00:15:16,222 --> 00:15:18,552
Oh, honey. Come here.
281
00:15:22,459 --> 00:15:24,921
You know what?
282
00:15:24,956 --> 00:15:29,200
You go put your pj's on,
283
00:15:29,235 --> 00:15:32,071
and I will be two minutes.
284
00:15:38,079 --> 00:15:40,178
Yes!
285
00:15:41,742 --> 00:15:44,281
Okay...
286
00:15:52,192 --> 00:15:53,785
Yes.
287
00:15:57,593 --> 00:15:59,428
Yes!
288
00:16:01,234 --> 00:16:05,500
Because you have been so good
to me and Mommy this year,
289
00:16:05,535 --> 00:16:09,471
we decided that
you could have one gift...
290
00:16:09,506 --> 00:16:11,308
early!
291
00:16:11,343 --> 00:16:13,607
Really?
292
00:16:17,712 --> 00:16:19,778
What is it?
293
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:25,388
That is a very special
walkie-talkie.
294
00:16:25,423 --> 00:16:26,818
It's magic.
295
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,193
- Magic?
- Mm-hmm.
296
00:16:28,228 --> 00:16:30,492
What you got right there
297
00:16:30,527 --> 00:16:32,923
is a direct hotline
to Santa Claus himself.
298
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,596
- I can talk to Santa?
- Oh, yeah.
299
00:16:35,631 --> 00:16:39,402
It's just like writing him
a letter... but better.
300
00:16:39,437 --> 00:16:40,568
Mm-hmm.
301
00:16:40,603 --> 00:16:43,340
Now, the only thing is,
302
00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:45,771
he might not have time
to answer you.
303
00:16:45,806 --> 00:16:47,575
He's delivering a lot
of presents tonight.
304
00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:49,181
Mm-hmm.
305
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,546
But he'll hear everything
you want to say to him.
306
00:16:58,082 --> 00:16:59,884
Hello, Santa?
307
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,360
This is Trudy Lightstone.
308
00:17:03,395 --> 00:17:05,527
I hope you're having
a nice night.
309
00:17:05,562 --> 00:17:07,694
Mm.
310
00:17:07,729 --> 00:17:12,171
It's really cold tonight,
so don't forget your mittens.
311
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,571
So, I wanted to tell you, Santa,
312
00:17:16,606 --> 00:17:18,573
I was extra good this year,
313
00:17:18,608 --> 00:17:22,280
so I wrote a big list for you
with all the stuff I wanted.
314
00:17:23,679 --> 00:17:25,778
But then...
315
00:17:25,813 --> 00:17:29,089
then I realized
I don't need any of that.
316
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:33,621
I really only want
one present for Christmas.
317
00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:38,989
I want Mommy and Daddy
to make up
318
00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:41,299
so we can be a family again.
319
00:17:42,599 --> 00:17:44,401
Okay.
320
00:17:44,436 --> 00:17:46,370
Good night, Santa.
321
00:17:47,835 --> 00:17:49,769
Good night, Mr. Bunny.
322
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:03,948
Which one of you did that?
323
00:18:05,358 --> 00:18:06,786
You can't go two seconds without
324
00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:08,524
crapping on the roof
like a bunch of pigeons?
325
00:18:10,231 --> 00:18:13,133
So unprofessional.
326
00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:18,501
You know, Rudolph
will never do this crap.
327
00:18:31,747 --> 00:18:33,384
Hmm.
328
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,489
Mmm.
329
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,366
Mmm, mmm.
330
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,732
Homemade.
331
00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:53,239
Mmm.
332
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,036
Ugh.
333
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,543
Skim.
334
00:19:10,885 --> 00:19:12,555
Oh, yeah.
335
00:19:12,590 --> 00:19:14,524
That's the stuff.
336
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,926
Mmm.
337
00:19:21,929 --> 00:19:23,863
DuBoi...
338
00:19:23,898 --> 00:19:26,866
- On some prewar shit
right there. -
339
00:19:26,901 --> 00:19:29,132
Good shit.
340
00:19:40,915 --> 00:19:42,420
Mmm.
341
00:19:42,455 --> 00:19:44,015
That pairs well.
342
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,655
What do we have here?
343
00:20:02,937 --> 00:20:04,772
Oh, yeah.
344
00:20:04,807 --> 00:20:06,675
That's the stuff.
345
00:20:15,818 --> 00:20:18,885
You know, uh...
346
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,888
Christmas is all right,
347
00:20:21,923 --> 00:20:25,298
but you Americans don't
celebrate my favorite holiday.
348
00:20:26,290 --> 00:20:28,092
Oh, yeah? What?
349
00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,632
Boxing Day.
350
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,766
Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here,
351
00:21:04,801 --> 00:21:06,471
live streaming the dream,
you know.
352
00:21:06,506 --> 00:21:08,968
They say the richest man...
353
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,872
Say goodbye.
354
00:21:11,907 --> 00:21:13,643
And if you...
355
00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,812
Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick.
356
00:21:17,847 --> 00:21:19,649
Damn it!
357
00:21:19,684 --> 00:21:22,113
When he was small,
I begged you to beat him.
358
00:21:39,737 --> 00:21:41,704
Hey. Merry Christmas.
359
00:21:41,739 --> 00:21:43,541
Or should I say
"happy holidays" now?
360
00:21:43,576 --> 00:21:45,576
Right? I mean, it's like,
people, make up your minds.
361
00:21:45,611 --> 00:21:47,677
- You know what I'm saying?
- Can I help you?
362
00:21:47,712 --> 00:21:49,646
Oh, yeah. I sure hope so.
See, uh,
363
00:21:49,681 --> 00:21:51,417
my car broke down
a little ways...
364
00:21:51,452 --> 00:21:53,177
Out here?
This is a private road.
365
00:21:53,212 --> 00:21:55,179
You're telling me.
366
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:57,313
It's the first place
I've seen for miles.
367
00:21:57,348 --> 00:21:58,688
I think I got frostbite.
368
00:21:58,723 --> 00:22:00,085
Where the hell am I, anyway?
369
00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:01,757
G.T. Lightstone family compound.
370
00:22:01,792 --> 00:22:03,363
I'll call you a tow.
371
00:22:12,704 --> 00:22:14,671
All right, revelers.
372
00:22:14,706 --> 00:22:16,409
Time to steal Christmas.
373
00:22:16,444 --> 00:22:17,707
Sound off.
374
00:22:17,742 --> 00:22:19,203
Jingle. Check.
375
00:22:19,238 --> 00:22:20,908
Peppermint. Check.
376
00:22:20,943 --> 00:22:22,371
Sugarplum. Check.
377
00:22:22,406 --> 00:22:25,341
Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up.
378
00:22:25,376 --> 00:22:27,343
Candy Cane. Check.
379
00:22:27,378 --> 00:22:29,884
- Go for Frosty.
- Go for Tinsel.
380
00:22:29,919 --> 00:22:31,754
Go for Gingerbread.
381
00:22:31,789 --> 00:22:34,460
Are we gonna use these stupid
code names all night?
382
00:22:34,495 --> 00:22:36,088
'Tis the season.
383
00:22:36,123 --> 00:22:39,795
Welcome to your worst
Christmas ever.
384
00:22:39,830 --> 00:22:43,095
Trudy loves seeing Santa
at the mall.
385
00:22:44,131 --> 00:22:45,867
She loves going with her father.
386
00:22:45,902 --> 00:22:47,440
And you should've
taken her yesterday,
387
00:22:47,475 --> 00:22:48,903
like you do every Christmas,
388
00:22:48,938 --> 00:22:50,542
but we didn't even
hear from you.
389
00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:51,939
Mom put me on a special project.
390
00:22:51,974 --> 00:22:53,479
- It's complicated.
- But it's not,
391
00:22:53,514 --> 00:22:55,580
because it keeps happening
over and over.
392
00:22:55,615 --> 00:22:57,846
-Your mother forcing herself
between us. -You're right.
393
00:23:02,820 --> 00:23:04,985
What if we could give Trudy
her Christmas wish?
394
00:23:05,020 --> 00:23:07,119
You're trying to win me back
395
00:23:07,154 --> 00:23:09,726
with a romantic weekend
at your mother's?
396
00:23:09,761 --> 00:23:12,927
What if things
really changed this time?
397
00:23:14,832 --> 00:23:17,129
We got out from under
my mother's thumb.
398
00:23:17,164 --> 00:23:19,131
We'll walk away.
399
00:23:19,166 --> 00:23:21,540
From the company, the family.
400
00:23:24,435 --> 00:23:25,973
Tonight.
401
00:23:26,976 --> 00:23:28,338
What are you up to?
402
00:24:13,759 --> 00:24:15,055
Let's go.
403
00:24:15,090 --> 00:24:17,453
We need to get you out of here.
404
00:24:17,488 --> 00:24:19,389
Mommy, where are you going?
405
00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:21,127
- She's going for the panic room!
- What?
406
00:24:21,162 --> 00:24:22,568
- Yes. Go, Bertrude.
- Without us?
407
00:24:28,499 --> 00:24:30,367
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.
408
00:24:52,193 --> 00:24:54,094
There isn't room for all of us.
409
00:24:54,129 --> 00:24:55,832
She can fit at least two of us.
Mom, take me.
410
00:24:55,867 --> 00:24:57,768
- Mom!
- Oh. Yeah.
411
00:24:57,803 --> 00:24:59,528
M-Mom, can Bert come, too?
412
00:25:02,137 --> 00:25:03,433
Okay. Move it or lose it, son.
413
00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:05,072
- Move it!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
414
00:25:05,107 --> 00:25:07,239
You're supposed to protect us.
415
00:25:07,274 --> 00:25:08,614
We protect the primary asset.
416
00:25:12,785 --> 00:25:14,048
Who the hell are you?
417
00:25:14,083 --> 00:25:16,754
You can call me Mr. Scrooge.
418
00:25:17,724 --> 00:25:18,954
Hilarious.
419
00:25:18,989 --> 00:25:20,384
Get him.
420
00:25:29,098 --> 00:25:31,329
Bah humbug, motherfucker.
421
00:25:40,846 --> 00:25:42,912
Hey. Step aside.
422
00:25:44,443 --> 00:25:46,817
Tinsel, Peppermint,
sweep upstairs.
423
00:25:46,852 --> 00:25:48,852
I want all the Lightstones
together.
424
00:25:49,822 --> 00:25:51,481
Kill anybody else you find.
425
00:26:01,702 --> 00:26:04,461
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.
426
00:26:05,464 --> 00:26:07,673
Trudy, honey, we got to go.
427
00:26:08,841 --> 00:26:10,500
Wake up, honey. Wake up.
428
00:26:10,535 --> 00:26:13,008
Maybe we can get out the back
by the servants' stairs.
429
00:26:20,116 --> 00:26:22,446
Oh, come on. Not now. Not now.
430
00:26:23,614 --> 00:26:25,581
Fuck! Fuck!
431
00:26:25,616 --> 00:26:27,253
Mistletoe, gingerbread.
432
00:26:51,312 --> 00:26:52,344
Hey!
433
00:26:55,184 --> 00:26:56,480
Oh. Oh.
434
00:26:56,515 --> 00:26:58,020
Hi.
435
00:26:58,055 --> 00:27:00,616
You got me.
436
00:27:00,651 --> 00:27:03,058
I don't want any trouble, okay?
437
00:27:03,093 --> 00:27:04,895
Downstairs. Now.
438
00:27:04,930 --> 00:27:08,558
Look, mister,
I don't want to get involved.
439
00:27:08,593 --> 00:27:10,835
I just...
I just have a job to do.
440
00:27:10,870 --> 00:27:12,331
Okay? That's it.
441
00:27:12,366 --> 00:27:14,905
I'm just gonna take my bag,
442
00:27:14,940 --> 00:27:17,468
and I'm just gonna
scooch up that chimney.
443
00:27:19,109 --> 00:27:20,746
Enough talk. Let's go.
444
00:27:21,749 --> 00:27:23,375
You don't want to do this.
445
00:27:23,410 --> 00:27:24,640
What? This?
446
00:27:26,347 --> 00:27:27,720
Now, move!
447
00:27:27,755 --> 00:27:29,678
Are you deaf?
448
00:27:29,713 --> 00:27:31,724
Fucking move!
449
00:27:42,462 --> 00:27:44,330
No, no, no.
450
00:27:44,365 --> 00:27:47,498
No! Wait!
451
00:27:47,533 --> 00:27:48,939
Wait.
452
00:27:48,974 --> 00:27:50,501
Wait! Don't go!
453
00:27:50,536 --> 00:27:52,404
Come back!
454
00:29:07,481 --> 00:29:09,151
Oh, fuck!
455
00:29:33,309 --> 00:29:34,880
Oh, shit.
456
00:29:56,266 --> 00:29:59,872
Damn chickenshit reindeer
leave me here to die.
457
00:30:08,608 --> 00:30:11,675
♪ Violent night ♪
458
00:30:11,710 --> 00:30:14,744
♪ Gory night ♪
459
00:30:14,779 --> 00:30:17,219
♪ All is calm ♪
460
00:30:17,254 --> 00:30:21,058
♪ If all doesn't want to get
shot in the fucking head. ♪
461
00:30:22,061 --> 00:30:23,489
Cute.
462
00:30:23,524 --> 00:30:26,426
Do you have any idea
who you're fucking with?
463
00:30:30,102 --> 00:30:32,938
I know exactly
who I'm fucking with.
464
00:30:32,973 --> 00:30:34,830
Oh, wait, wait.
Did you actually think
465
00:30:34,865 --> 00:30:36,502
that I spent months
466
00:30:36,537 --> 00:30:39,109
planning a complex break-in
to the most secure
467
00:30:39,144 --> 00:30:40,869
private residence in the country
468
00:30:40,904 --> 00:30:42,574
and I didn't know
who lived here?
469
00:30:42,609 --> 00:30:44,048
Well, you're wrong.
470
00:30:44,083 --> 00:30:47,018
'Cause your staff are dead.
471
00:30:47,053 --> 00:30:49,185
Your security are dead.
472
00:30:49,220 --> 00:30:52,320
Now, sit down
and shut the fuck up!
473
00:31:20,449 --> 00:31:22,482
Oh, fuck.
474
00:31:25,586 --> 00:31:26,992
We planned it. It's all right.
475
00:31:27,027 --> 00:31:28,488
It'll be solved
in a couple minutes.
476
00:31:28,523 --> 00:31:30,160
Better be solved.
477
00:31:30,195 --> 00:31:32,426
So much like a scene
from my movie Dark Ransom.
478
00:31:32,461 --> 00:31:33,790
Oh, my God.
479
00:31:35,002 --> 00:31:36,595
If they didn't have guns,
480
00:31:36,630 --> 00:31:38,630
I could take out three,
maybe four of them.
481
00:31:38,665 --> 00:31:40,566
Try all of them.
482
00:31:40,601 --> 00:31:43,305
Ew, Mom. Yuck.
483
00:31:43,340 --> 00:31:45,307
If you'd really done
your research, you'd know
484
00:31:45,342 --> 00:31:47,837
that my brother Rory
was kidnapped in the '70s.
485
00:31:48,939 --> 00:31:51,445
But my father
never called the police.
486
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,085
Dad sent in our own
private extraction team,
487
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:57,517
and Rory was home
safe and sound a week later.
488
00:31:57,552 --> 00:32:01,125
And the kidnappers
were never found.
489
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,028
If you get me.
490
00:32:04,691 --> 00:32:06,295
I know.
491
00:32:06,330 --> 00:32:09,166
I know all about
your extraction team
492
00:32:09,201 --> 00:32:11,036
that you affectionately call
"the Kill Squad"
493
00:32:11,071 --> 00:32:13,038
behind closed doors.
494
00:32:13,073 --> 00:32:14,930
I also know
that they're on their way
495
00:32:14,965 --> 00:32:16,932
and how long it's gonna
take 'em to get here.
496
00:32:16,967 --> 00:32:19,605
I even know their credit ratings
and their dick sizes.
497
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,442
If you get me.
498
00:32:21,477 --> 00:32:23,609
Then you should also know
you're already dead.
499
00:32:23,644 --> 00:32:25,380
We don't do ransoms.
500
00:32:25,415 --> 00:32:27,943
Again, I know. I know.
501
00:32:27,978 --> 00:32:29,945
See, I know a lot, Gertrude.
502
00:32:29,980 --> 00:32:31,881
I really do.
503
00:32:31,916 --> 00:32:34,983
Like the fact that you have
300 million in U.S. dollars
504
00:32:35,018 --> 00:32:37,161
sitting in your personal vault
downstairs.
505
00:32:37,196 --> 00:32:39,229
- The fuck?
- That's right.
506
00:32:39,264 --> 00:32:42,166
300 million that
the U.S. government
507
00:32:42,201 --> 00:32:45,499
gave Lightstone to quietly
distribute in the Middle East
508
00:32:45,534 --> 00:32:47,336
to all the worst people,
509
00:32:47,371 --> 00:32:51,538
to grease the wheels
and keep that sweet oil flowing.
510
00:32:51,573 --> 00:32:56,004
300 million that... oops...
Disappeared in the fog of war.
511
00:32:56,039 --> 00:32:59,007
Except it didn't really
disappear, did it, Gerty?
512
00:32:59,042 --> 00:33:00,415
'Cause you stole it.
513
00:33:00,450 --> 00:33:01,911
Did you know about this?
514
00:33:01,946 --> 00:33:03,517
Man, this family.
515
00:33:03,552 --> 00:33:06,718
This moneygrubbing family.
516
00:33:06,753 --> 00:33:08,555
Clinging desperately
to your wealth,
517
00:33:08,590 --> 00:33:10,854
when your poor employees
don't even have enough coal
518
00:33:10,889 --> 00:33:12,922
to keep Tiny Tim warm.
519
00:33:12,957 --> 00:33:15,892
What is it with you
and all this Christmas shit?
520
00:33:15,927 --> 00:33:17,894
Talk all you want.
521
00:33:17,929 --> 00:33:19,698
You'll never get in the vault.
522
00:33:19,733 --> 00:33:23,031
Oh, oh, oh, because when
you-you hit the panic button,
523
00:33:23,066 --> 00:33:24,868
it reset the combination?
524
00:33:24,903 --> 00:33:28,278
I keep telling you, I know.
525
00:33:33,483 --> 00:33:36,286
This is what breaking
into a vault has turned into?
526
00:33:36,321 --> 00:33:40,917
Remember when you just had to
drill holes and blow shit up?
527
00:33:40,952 --> 00:33:42,457
I don't know,
maybe I'm getting old,
528
00:33:42,492 --> 00:33:44,096
but there was something
romantic about that.
529
00:33:44,131 --> 00:33:46,197
Boss, you copy?
530
00:33:46,232 --> 00:33:48,133
I'm kind of busy here.
531
00:33:48,168 --> 00:33:50,498
You're gonna want to see this.
532
00:33:59,905 --> 00:34:01,707
Maybe he fell.
533
00:34:01,742 --> 00:34:03,247
You rappel down buildings
with him.
534
00:34:03,282 --> 00:34:05,282
You gonna tell me
he just fell out a window?
535
00:34:06,351 --> 00:34:08,318
All right, look lively, gang.
536
00:34:08,353 --> 00:34:10,012
We got a gopher.
537
00:34:25,601 --> 00:34:27,172
You know what?
538
00:34:27,207 --> 00:34:31,143
Um, I think Mr. Bunny
wants to go to sleep.
539
00:34:31,178 --> 00:34:33,101
So, let's tuck him in.
540
00:34:33,136 --> 00:34:34,674
Okay?
541
00:34:35,875 --> 00:34:37,545
It's gonna be okay.
542
00:34:51,660 --> 00:34:54,023
Hello? Santa?
543
00:34:54,058 --> 00:34:56,025
Are you there?
544
00:35:01,835 --> 00:35:03,505
Shit.
545
00:35:07,907 --> 00:35:10,446
This is
Candy Cane at checkpoint three.
546
00:35:10,481 --> 00:35:12,041
Oh, shit.
547
00:35:12,076 --> 00:35:13,812
Shit. Shit. Shit.
548
00:35:17,048 --> 00:35:18,916
Video game.
549
00:35:20,150 --> 00:35:21,523
Video game.
550
00:35:21,558 --> 00:35:23,822
Didn't anybody ask
for a bat or a sword
551
00:35:23,857 --> 00:35:26,726
or Molotov cocktails?
552
00:35:35,374 --> 00:35:37,033
Wait.
553
00:35:51,951 --> 00:35:53,753
Mommy, I love you.
554
00:35:54,954 --> 00:35:57,020
Poetry book.
555
00:35:57,055 --> 00:35:59,363
Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck!
556
00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:04,830
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
557
00:36:04,865 --> 00:36:07,437
- ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
558
00:36:07,472 --> 00:36:09,604
♪ Ah-ooh ♪
559
00:36:09,639 --> 00:36:12,035
- ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh... ♪
560
00:36:13,577 --> 00:36:15,511
Safety's on, dipshit.
561
00:36:17,317 --> 00:36:20,516
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
562
00:36:20,551 --> 00:36:22,947
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
563
00:36:22,982 --> 00:36:24,520
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
564
00:36:24,555 --> 00:36:26,258
♪ I look for him because ♪
565
00:36:26,293 --> 00:36:28,183
Wait. Hang on. Hang on.
566
00:36:28,218 --> 00:36:29,690
♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪
567
00:36:29,725 --> 00:36:32,121
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Look.
568
00:36:32,156 --> 00:36:33,628
I don't want to kill you.
569
00:36:37,634 --> 00:36:41,372
Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard.
570
00:36:41,407 --> 00:36:43,275
Eh?
571
00:36:43,937 --> 00:36:46,201
Santa...
572
00:36:46,236 --> 00:36:47,972
I'm gonna rip
your fucking balls off.
573
00:36:52,649 --> 00:36:55,419
♪ I hope he won't forget
to crack his castanets ♪
574
00:36:55,454 --> 00:36:59,082
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪
575
00:36:59,117 --> 00:37:01,590
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪
576
00:37:01,625 --> 00:37:03,460
Oh, shit.
577
00:37:06,828 --> 00:37:09,301
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
578
00:37:09,336 --> 00:37:11,501
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
579
00:37:13,296 --> 00:37:16,099
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
580
00:37:16,134 --> 00:37:17,837
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
581
00:37:17,872 --> 00:37:19,575
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
582
00:37:19,610 --> 00:37:21,478
♪ Christmas Eve ♪
583
00:37:30,984 --> 00:37:32,456
♪ I hope he won't forget ♪
584
00:37:32,491 --> 00:37:34,183
♪ To crack his castanets ♪
585
00:37:34,218 --> 00:37:38,022
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪
586
00:37:38,057 --> 00:37:41,993
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪
587
00:37:42,028 --> 00:37:45,931
♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪
588
00:37:45,966 --> 00:37:48,868
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
589
00:37:48,903 --> 00:37:51,343
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
590
00:37:51,378 --> 00:37:52,542
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
591
00:37:52,577 --> 00:37:54,511
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
592
00:37:54,546 --> 00:37:56,447
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
593
00:37:56,482 --> 00:37:59,846
- ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
- ♪ Christmas Eve ♪
594
00:37:59,881 --> 00:38:02,783
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
595
00:38:02,818 --> 00:38:04,620
♪ Mamacita ♪
596
00:38:04,655 --> 00:38:06,655
- ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
- ♪ Mamacita. ♪
597
00:38:48,259 --> 00:38:50,666
Ah, God.
598
00:38:50,701 --> 00:38:52,294
Whew.
599
00:38:53,363 --> 00:38:56,540
Whew. Whew.
600
00:38:56,575 --> 00:38:58,366
This is Candy Cane checking in.
601
00:38:58,401 --> 00:39:00,269
Compound is clear and secured.
602
00:39:02,482 --> 00:39:04,273
Copy. What's the
status on the Kill Squad?
603
00:39:06,145 --> 00:39:08,046
Kill Squad
won't be here for two hours.
604
00:39:08,081 --> 00:39:10,686
So we're doing good. The outer
seal's already been breached.
605
00:39:10,721 --> 00:39:13,216
Is there a 911 thing on here?
606
00:39:13,251 --> 00:39:15,790
My...
607
00:39:15,825 --> 00:39:17,759
Am I doing that correct?
608
00:39:17,794 --> 00:39:19,189
Hello?
609
00:39:19,224 --> 00:39:21,125
Hello, can anybody hear me?
610
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,600
Can you hear me, Santa?
611
00:39:25,428 --> 00:39:26,735
Hello?
612
00:39:26,770 --> 00:39:28,231
Santa?
613
00:39:31,434 --> 00:39:33,137
Yeah, this is Santa.
614
00:39:36,109 --> 00:39:38,450
I hope I'm not bothering you.
615
00:39:40,146 --> 00:39:42,751
Daddy said you were
very busy tonight.
616
00:39:44,689 --> 00:39:46,557
I'm...
617
00:39:46,592 --> 00:39:48,790
I'm on a break.
618
00:39:48,825 --> 00:39:50,858
Who-who am I speaking to?
619
00:39:53,357 --> 00:39:55,423
My name is Trudy Lightstone,
620
00:39:55,458 --> 00:39:58,767
and I've been very good
this year.
621
00:39:58,802 --> 00:40:00,670
Trudy...
622
00:40:02,971 --> 00:40:04,839
Trudy Lightstone.
623
00:40:13,883 --> 00:40:16,147
Yeah, Trudy.
624
00:40:16,182 --> 00:40:18,622
You're on my nice list.
625
00:40:18,657 --> 00:40:20,822
You've been a very good girl
this year.
626
00:40:22,485 --> 00:40:24,529
Where are you now, Trudy?
627
00:40:26,060 --> 00:40:28,830
I'm in a big room
with all my relatives.
628
00:40:28,865 --> 00:40:32,064
There's two bad men with guns
watching us.
629
00:40:34,838 --> 00:40:36,673
Oh, no. Six left.
630
00:40:36,708 --> 00:40:38,642
Are you gonna help us, Santa?
631
00:40:40,041 --> 00:40:42,008
Yeah. Of course
I'm gonna help you.
632
00:40:42,043 --> 00:40:44,879
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get you out of there.
633
00:40:44,914 --> 00:40:48,179
Take all these bad guys
on my naughty list...
634
00:40:49,248 --> 00:40:51,853
I'm gonna take a lump of coal,
635
00:40:51,888 --> 00:40:55,560
each and every one of them,
and shove it straight up...
636
00:40:55,595 --> 00:40:56,693
The ass.
637
00:40:59,731 --> 00:41:01,390
Well, I mean, come on, sweetie.
638
00:41:01,425 --> 00:41:04,096
We want to keep you
on the nice list, you know.
639
00:41:05,704 --> 00:41:08,034
Sorry.
Can I say "butthole," then?
640
00:41:09,037 --> 00:41:10,366
I mean, it's borderline.
641
00:41:10,401 --> 00:41:12,137
How about "anus"?
642
00:41:12,172 --> 00:41:16,548
Technically, yes,
uh, "anus" is the tech...
643
00:41:16,583 --> 00:41:18,341
Okay, look, uh, Tru...
uh, Trudy.
644
00:41:18,376 --> 00:41:21,047
I got to call for help,
and the phone lines are down.
645
00:41:21,082 --> 00:41:23,654
You probably know this house
better than anybody.
646
00:41:23,689 --> 00:41:25,513
You got any suggestions?
647
00:41:25,548 --> 00:41:27,086
I have an idea.
648
00:41:29,695 --> 00:41:32,091
All right, you're telling me
there's a goddamn Santa Claus
649
00:41:32,126 --> 00:41:33,796
running around here?
650
00:41:37,263 --> 00:41:39,263
Okay, well,
he looks jolly as fuck,
651
00:41:39,298 --> 00:41:40,935
but who the hell is he?
652
00:41:40,970 --> 00:41:42,937
There's no Santa listed
on the employee manifest.
653
00:41:42,972 --> 00:41:44,400
Yeah, there's more.
654
00:41:44,435 --> 00:41:46,039
Frosty hasn't checked in.
I can't reach him.
655
00:41:46,074 --> 00:41:47,942
All right, keep trying.
656
00:41:50,617 --> 00:41:52,243
All right, it's official.
657
00:41:52,278 --> 00:41:54,113
We got a gopher on the loose,
and he's dangerous.
658
00:41:54,148 --> 00:41:55,411
Watch your backs.
659
00:42:00,418 --> 00:42:03,089
Al? Al?
660
00:42:09,328 --> 00:42:11,163
Oh, shit.
661
00:42:19,008 --> 00:42:20,810
Oh, shit!
662
00:42:20,845 --> 00:42:23,813
Frosty, what's your status?
663
00:42:27,346 --> 00:42:29,412
Frosty, sound off.
664
00:42:30,415 --> 00:42:33,284
Uh, Frosty?
665
00:42:34,617 --> 00:42:36,155
Is-is that, uh...
666
00:42:36,190 --> 00:42:38,091
is that the naughty guy
I met in the basement?
667
00:42:38,126 --> 00:42:39,961
Your-your friend is dead.
668
00:42:39,996 --> 00:42:43,063
Uh, he got a star in his face,
then his head caught on fire.
669
00:42:43,098 --> 00:42:44,933
It's a long story.
670
00:42:44,968 --> 00:42:47,738
Oh.
671
00:42:47,773 --> 00:42:49,938
Is this... is this our Santy?
672
00:42:49,973 --> 00:42:52,842
Is this our... our Santy Claus?
673
00:42:52,877 --> 00:42:54,338
Yeah, it is.
674
00:42:55,341 --> 00:42:57,176
To whom am I speaking?
675
00:42:57,211 --> 00:42:59,178
Well, for tonight,
I'm Mr. Scrooge.
676
00:42:59,213 --> 00:43:03,116
Now, what is it
that you want exactly, Santa?
677
00:43:03,151 --> 00:43:05,690
I want you to put down
your weapons,
678
00:43:05,725 --> 00:43:08,660
I want you to let
this family go,
679
00:43:08,695 --> 00:43:10,519
and then I want to find
my reindeer,
680
00:43:10,554 --> 00:43:12,697
and I want to continue
delivering my presents.
681
00:43:15,625 --> 00:43:17,262
Are you fucking with me?
682
00:43:17,297 --> 00:43:19,627
All right, who the hell
are you really, huh?
683
00:43:19,662 --> 00:43:22,168
Some security guard who's
watched too many action flicks?
684
00:43:22,203 --> 00:43:24,775
Some loser ex-cop
stuck in a mall
685
00:43:24,810 --> 00:43:26,810
playing dress-up with fat kids
pissing on your lap?
686
00:43:26,845 --> 00:43:28,339
Stop me when I get it right.
687
00:43:28,374 --> 00:43:30,440
It's a little more complicated
than that.
688
00:43:30,475 --> 00:43:32,211
Not to me, it's not.
689
00:43:32,246 --> 00:43:34,213
'Cause I want to make it
my personal mission,
690
00:43:34,248 --> 00:43:38,646
my holiday to-do list,
to find you and to end you
691
00:43:38,681 --> 00:43:42,221
and to wipe my ass with you
and this whole fucking holiday.
692
00:43:42,256 --> 00:43:44,894
That's what I want
for Christmas, Santa.
693
00:43:44,929 --> 00:43:49,063
That is a terrible thing
to want for Christmas.
694
00:43:49,098 --> 00:43:52,561
But maybe you and I should
discuss that in person.
695
00:43:53,938 --> 00:43:56,499
Santa Claus is coming to town.
696
00:44:08,018 --> 00:44:09,347
Shit.
697
00:44:19,392 --> 00:44:20,765
All right, who did you hire
698
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,328
to play Santa at
your Christmas party, huh?
699
00:44:23,363 --> 00:44:25,396
I said, who's playing Santa
700
00:44:25,431 --> 00:44:26,936
at your fucked-up
Christmas party?
701
00:44:26,971 --> 00:44:29,873
I didn't hire a Santa.
702
00:44:29,908 --> 00:44:32,568
I never have a Santa.
It's tacky.
703
00:44:32,603 --> 00:44:34,042
So, who is he?
704
00:44:34,077 --> 00:44:36,847
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride... ♪
705
00:44:36,882 --> 00:44:39,674
Huh? Who is he?
706
00:44:39,709 --> 00:44:41,379
Somebody better start talking,
707
00:44:41,414 --> 00:44:44,448
or I'm gonna bash
her brains in with this...
708
00:44:44,483 --> 00:44:48,727
Damn, Gertrude. You really got
a thing for nutcrackers, huh?
709
00:44:50,225 --> 00:44:54,260
So, I'm gonna torture
everyone in your family
710
00:44:54,295 --> 00:44:57,098
until you tell me who's
running around your mansion
711
00:44:57,133 --> 00:44:59,804
playing Santa
and fucking with my shit.
712
00:44:59,839 --> 00:45:01,806
And who should I pick first?
713
00:45:01,841 --> 00:45:03,302
Should I go by age?
714
00:45:03,337 --> 00:45:04,908
Shh.
715
00:45:04,943 --> 00:45:06,734
Or should I go by IQ?
716
00:45:06,769 --> 00:45:10,078
Pick Jason.
He's my mom's favorite.
717
00:45:10,113 --> 00:45:12,113
- Yep. Him.
- The one in the sweater.
718
00:45:12,148 --> 00:45:14,577
All right.
Jason Lightstone it is.
719
00:45:14,612 --> 00:45:15,919
- The number one son.
- No.
720
00:45:15,954 --> 00:45:17,283
Wait, wait, wait.
No, we don't need...
721
00:45:17,318 --> 00:45:18,823
We don't need to do that.
No, it's okay.
722
00:45:18,858 --> 00:45:20,792
No. No, no, no.
We don't need to do this.
723
00:45:20,827 --> 00:45:22,057
No. No, no, no, no.
724
00:45:22,092 --> 00:45:23,652
Don't, don't, don't.
725
00:45:23,687 --> 00:45:26,061
- No, don't... Put it...
- Don't... No. -
726
00:45:26,096 --> 00:45:28,063
- No, no, no, no. No, no.
- Give me this fucking...
727
00:45:37,107 --> 00:45:39,943
I'm telling you,
no one hired a Santa.
728
00:45:39,978 --> 00:45:41,472
All right, all right,
all right. You're right.
729
00:45:41,507 --> 00:45:42,506
You're right.
Let's stop it. Let's stop it.
730
00:45:42,541 --> 00:45:44,673
What are we doing here? Come on.
731
00:45:44,708 --> 00:45:47,775
What are we, amateurs?
We're half-assing this.
732
00:45:47,810 --> 00:45:50,712
Come on. It's not called
a finger cracker.
733
00:45:51,990 --> 00:45:53,924
Okay, Candy Cane.
734
00:45:53,959 --> 00:45:55,354
Stick one of his bozaks
in there.
735
00:45:55,389 --> 00:45:56,652
I'm not touching his balls.
736
00:45:56,687 --> 00:45:58,291
What, are you a princess
all of a sudden?
737
00:45:58,326 --> 00:46:00,095
I've seen you
scoop out brains before.
738
00:46:00,130 --> 00:46:01,360
You want me
to scoop his brains out,
739
00:46:01,395 --> 00:46:02,790
I'll scoop his brains out
right now,
740
00:46:02,825 --> 00:46:04,033
but I'm not touching his junk.
741
00:46:04,068 --> 00:46:05,463
I don't care who does it.
742
00:46:05,498 --> 00:46:07,036
I better be looking
at flat balls,
743
00:46:07,071 --> 00:46:08,334
like, in three seconds.
744
00:46:08,369 --> 00:46:10,798
I'll do it.
745
00:46:10,833 --> 00:46:12,173
Krampus. Perfect.
746
00:46:12,208 --> 00:46:13,669
Oh, not that guy. Not that guy.
747
00:46:13,704 --> 00:46:15,044
That's what I love
about sociopaths.
748
00:46:15,079 --> 00:46:16,375
Always up for trying new things.
749
00:46:16,410 --> 00:46:17,805
You don't need to do this, okay?
750
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,708
No, it's all right.
Um... Oh, no.
751
00:46:19,743 --> 00:46:22,150
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
752
00:46:22,185 --> 00:46:24,548
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
753
00:46:26,321 --> 00:46:27,782
Put your nuts in.
754
00:46:27,817 --> 00:46:29,289
Yummy, yummy.
755
00:46:29,324 --> 00:46:31,962
Stop hurting my daddy...
756
00:46:31,997 --> 00:46:34,261
or Santa will get mad.
757
00:46:35,264 --> 00:46:37,528
Ah, what a cutie.
758
00:46:37,563 --> 00:46:39,629
So, what do we know
about Santa, little one?
759
00:46:39,664 --> 00:46:41,301
She doesn't know anything
about Santa.
760
00:46:42,403 --> 00:46:44,040
He wasn't asking you.
761
00:46:44,075 --> 00:46:46,570
She's playing make-believe.
762
00:46:46,605 --> 00:46:48,913
She's pretending
to talk to Santa.
763
00:46:48,948 --> 00:46:50,915
It's not pretend.
Santa's my friend,
764
00:46:50,950 --> 00:46:52,543
and he said
he's going to save us.
765
00:46:52,578 --> 00:46:53,885
No.
766
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,217
- And beat you up.
- Oh, is he?
767
00:46:56,252 --> 00:46:58,648
I bet he'd come out of hiding
if you asked him to, huh?
768
00:46:58,683 --> 00:47:00,386
What do you say you come with me
769
00:47:00,421 --> 00:47:02,421
-and we play a little game
with him, huh? -No, no, no.
770
00:47:02,456 --> 00:47:03,928
Trudy, come on.
Tell him the truth now.
771
00:47:03,963 --> 00:47:05,655
- You aren't talking to Santa.
- Yes, I am.
772
00:47:05,690 --> 00:47:07,162
No, you're not. Come on, now.
773
00:47:07,197 --> 00:47:09,659
-Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy,
Santa isn't real!
774
00:47:17,977 --> 00:47:19,702
I'm sorry, honey.
775
00:47:20,903 --> 00:47:22,870
Santa's just a thing
adults tell kids
776
00:47:22,905 --> 00:47:24,949
to make them feel better, okay?
777
00:47:27,217 --> 00:47:29,283
Your mommy and I
give you the presents,
778
00:47:29,318 --> 00:47:31,285
and we say they're from Santa.
779
00:47:32,552 --> 00:47:34,024
He's not coming to save us.
780
00:47:34,059 --> 00:47:36,257
He doesn't exist.
781
00:47:36,292 --> 00:47:38,589
It's all made-up.
782
00:47:40,263 --> 00:47:42,230
- Really?
- Aw.
783
00:47:42,265 --> 00:47:45,035
What a way to find out
that there's no Santa.
784
00:47:45,070 --> 00:47:47,070
Hey, let's come back Easter
and ruin the Easter Bunny
785
00:47:47,105 --> 00:47:49,039
for her, too, huh?
786
00:47:49,074 --> 00:47:50,568
- Trudy!
- Come back here!
787
00:47:50,603 --> 00:47:52,108
- Stop her!
- Trudy! -Hey!
788
00:47:52,143 --> 00:47:53,472
You idiots, stay at your posts.
789
00:47:53,507 --> 00:47:54,803
Trudy!
790
00:47:54,838 --> 00:47:57,014
I'll find this little brat.
791
00:49:03,379 --> 00:49:04,675
Okay.
792
00:49:33,409 --> 00:49:36,377
Santa. Santa.
793
00:49:36,412 --> 00:49:38,247
Santa!
794
00:49:39,844 --> 00:49:41,679
This is Trudy.
795
00:49:42,682 --> 00:49:45,683
Are you okay, Santa?
796
00:49:47,753 --> 00:49:49,225
Hi. Hey.
797
00:49:49,260 --> 00:49:51,018
Are you okay?
798
00:49:51,053 --> 00:49:53,097
I'm good. Uh...
799
00:49:53,132 --> 00:49:55,330
I was just wrapping
something up.
800
00:49:55,365 --> 00:49:57,563
I ran away and hid in the attic.
801
00:49:57,598 --> 00:50:00,896
Okay. If you're safe...
802
00:50:00,931 --> 00:50:03,899
uh, just stay there
and, uh, stay quiet, all right?
803
00:50:03,934 --> 00:50:08,706
Okay. I can set up booby traps,
like in Home Alone.
804
00:50:08,741 --> 00:50:10,246
Okay, I don't know
what that means,
805
00:50:10,281 --> 00:50:11,907
but, uh, yeah, do that.
806
00:50:11,942 --> 00:50:13,810
Just do it quietly.
807
00:50:15,286 --> 00:50:17,253
Are you really Santa?
808
00:50:21,083 --> 00:50:23,094
Of course I am, sweetheart.
809
00:50:24,229 --> 00:50:26,790
My daddy says
there isn't any Santa.
810
00:50:28,596 --> 00:50:31,564
He says parents just tell
their kids that Santa's real
811
00:50:31,599 --> 00:50:33,203
to make them feel better.
812
00:50:33,238 --> 00:50:36,030
He said they give us presents
813
00:50:36,065 --> 00:50:38,406
and say they're from Santa.
814
00:50:38,441 --> 00:50:40,573
Yeah.
815
00:50:40,608 --> 00:50:42,872
Yeah, a lot of parents say that.
816
00:50:42,907 --> 00:50:46,678
But I still bring presents
to kids that need me.
817
00:50:48,077 --> 00:50:50,187
Kids who really believe.
818
00:50:51,751 --> 00:50:54,620
How do you know
who really needs you?
819
00:50:54,655 --> 00:50:56,886
Christmas magic.
820
00:50:56,921 --> 00:50:58,987
I'm not really sure
how it works.
821
00:51:06,799 --> 00:51:09,140
But, uh...
822
00:51:11,375 --> 00:51:14,475
I remember, um...
823
00:51:14,510 --> 00:51:16,411
when Trudy Lightstone
wrote to me.
824
00:51:16,446 --> 00:51:18,908
She must have been
about six years old,
825
00:51:18,943 --> 00:51:22,681
and she said that
she felt lonely sometimes.
826
00:51:22,716 --> 00:51:24,980
She missed having a best friend.
827
00:51:25,015 --> 00:51:26,421
And so I brought her
828
00:51:26,456 --> 00:51:28,258
a beautiful little
stuffed rabbit.
829
00:51:28,293 --> 00:51:29,688
Mr. Bunny.
830
00:51:29,723 --> 00:51:31,657
And then I remember
the next year,
831
00:51:31,692 --> 00:51:33,824
and you said you had
this amazing dream
832
00:51:33,859 --> 00:51:37,630
and that, afterwards,
all you wanted to do was...
833
00:51:37,665 --> 00:51:39,170
To fly!
834
00:51:39,205 --> 00:51:41,238
To fly. To fly.
835
00:51:42,802 --> 00:51:47,101
I mean, Santa might have
some magic, but...
836
00:51:47,136 --> 00:51:50,742
making a little girl fly?
837
00:51:53,010 --> 00:51:57,320
But giving you a kite,
838
00:51:57,355 --> 00:52:00,653
floating just beneath
the clouds,
839
00:52:00,688 --> 00:52:03,458
well, it's about
as good as it gets.
840
00:52:03,493 --> 00:52:05,295
I knew it.
841
00:52:05,330 --> 00:52:07,528
I knew you were real, Santa.
842
00:52:10,434 --> 00:52:13,204
Don't be too hard
on your parents, all right?
843
00:52:15,373 --> 00:52:17,901
Grown-ups have a hard time
believing things.
844
00:52:18,937 --> 00:52:21,311
Can you use your Christmas magic
845
00:52:21,346 --> 00:52:23,478
to make them
love each other again?
846
00:52:23,513 --> 00:52:25,909
I wish I had that kind of power.
847
00:52:26,912 --> 00:52:30,551
Mrs. Claus and I have been
going on year, uh,
848
00:52:30,586 --> 00:52:32,718
1,100, and...
849
00:52:33,787 --> 00:52:36,359
Grown-up relationships
are complicated.
850
00:52:37,395 --> 00:52:39,659
It takes work.
851
00:52:39,694 --> 00:52:41,562
A lot of work.
852
00:52:43,962 --> 00:52:46,193
Do you still love her?
853
00:52:46,228 --> 00:52:48,030
Yeah, I do.
854
00:52:49,231 --> 00:52:52,408
And sometimes, even if you want
to make somebody happy...
855
00:52:53,939 --> 00:52:56,071
the magic just goes away.
856
00:52:58,108 --> 00:53:00,515
Hey.
857
00:53:00,550 --> 00:53:02,209
I've got an idea.
858
00:53:02,244 --> 00:53:03,782
This will be fun.
859
00:53:05,115 --> 00:53:08,391
Why don't you guys
open your presents?
860
00:53:08,426 --> 00:53:12,758
I want to see what you
rich assholes get each other.
861
00:53:12,793 --> 00:53:18,467
And some of you might not
make it till tomorrow morning,
862
00:53:18,502 --> 00:53:21,272
so this could be
your only chance.
863
00:53:22,264 --> 00:53:23,802
Come on.
864
00:53:23,837 --> 00:53:26,310
Where's the Christmas spirit?
865
00:53:27,973 --> 00:53:30,105
Uh...
866
00:53:31,174 --> 00:53:35,418
Gertrude, uh, I got you
something pretty special.
867
00:53:35,453 --> 00:53:36,815
Did you hear that, Gertrude?
868
00:53:36,850 --> 00:53:38,784
He got you something amazing.
869
00:53:38,819 --> 00:53:41,721
Oh, what could it be?
870
00:53:41,756 --> 00:53:43,954
Oh, my God, this is exciting.
871
00:53:43,989 --> 00:53:46,220
Mom.
872
00:53:46,255 --> 00:53:47,925
Can I call you Mom?
873
00:53:49,159 --> 00:53:50,664
Mrs. Lightstone.
874
00:53:52,701 --> 00:53:55,966
Okay, so in the business,
they call this...
875
00:53:56,969 --> 00:53:58,276
a pitch deck.
876
00:53:59,444 --> 00:54:00,509
- Pitch deck.
- Yeah.
877
00:54:00,544 --> 00:54:02,236
It's called Explosive Force.
878
00:54:02,271 --> 00:54:03,941
Starring me.
879
00:54:03,976 --> 00:54:05,514
And if you look in the back,
880
00:54:05,549 --> 00:54:09,177
there are the financial numbers.
881
00:54:09,212 --> 00:54:12,389
I'm kind of a big deal in Asia.
882
00:54:13,953 --> 00:54:16,151
Parts of Asia, at least.
883
00:54:16,186 --> 00:54:18,252
We were in parts of Asia once,
and, like,
884
00:54:18,287 --> 00:54:19,924
we couldn't even go
to a restaurant.
885
00:54:19,959 --> 00:54:23,290
Ah, what is there
a better gift than...
886
00:54:23,325 --> 00:54:26,535
gift of a golden opportunity?
887
00:54:28,198 --> 00:54:30,198
Oh, no.
888
00:54:31,542 --> 00:54:34,103
Granny doesn't like it.
889
00:54:34,138 --> 00:54:36,413
Mother, I got you something
really special.
890
00:54:42,982 --> 00:54:45,521
It's a sentimental photo
of the day I was born.
891
00:54:45,556 --> 00:54:47,622
I remember.
892
00:54:47,657 --> 00:54:49,052
I was there.
893
00:54:49,087 --> 00:54:51,120
She doesn't give a shit.
894
00:54:53,729 --> 00:54:55,322
Swing and miss again!
895
00:54:55,357 --> 00:54:56,697
This is so fun.
896
00:54:56,732 --> 00:54:57,995
Mommy, how about another one?
897
00:54:58,030 --> 00:54:59,634
I got you a lot of good things.
898
00:54:59,669 --> 00:55:01,669
- I'll grab one.
- Alva, Alva, sit down.
899
00:55:01,704 --> 00:55:03,374
You've already given me one.
It's...
900
00:55:03,409 --> 00:55:04,672
It's Jason's turn.
901
00:55:04,707 --> 00:55:06,135
Uh...
902
00:55:06,170 --> 00:55:09,743
I th... I-I think
I left it in the car.
903
00:55:09,778 --> 00:55:11,844
No, I-I saw you put one
under the tree earlier.
904
00:55:11,879 --> 00:55:14,308
- No. It's in the...
- Yeah, I did.
905
00:55:14,343 --> 00:55:17,421
I could've sworn.
You know what, it's, uh...
906
00:55:17,456 --> 00:55:19,522
Y-You don't... you don't...
you don't... you...
907
00:55:19,557 --> 00:55:21,821
It's this one, right?
Yeah, I got you, bro.
908
00:55:21,856 --> 00:55:23,350
Come on.
909
00:55:25,090 --> 00:55:27,123
Thank you.
910
00:55:28,192 --> 00:55:30,434
It's my favorite whiskey.
911
00:55:30,469 --> 00:55:33,063
You can skip the note.
912
00:55:56,495 --> 00:55:58,154
Thank you, Jason.
913
00:56:03,667 --> 00:56:05,964
What's the card say?
914
00:56:05,999 --> 00:56:08,934
I think I'll just keep that
between Jason and I.
915
00:56:08,969 --> 00:56:12,905
No one really needs to know.
Right, Jason?
916
00:56:15,481 --> 00:56:17,107
Right.
917
00:56:18,308 --> 00:56:20,484
Did you ever have
a mommy and daddy?
918
00:56:22,521 --> 00:56:24,554
Yeah, of course
I had a mommy and daddy.
919
00:56:24,589 --> 00:56:27,920
I wasn't...
I wasn't always Santa Claus.
920
00:56:28,956 --> 00:56:31,022
I had a life before this.
921
00:56:32,190 --> 00:56:34,663
A long, long, long time ago.
922
00:56:39,098 --> 00:56:41,967
They used to call me, uh...
923
00:56:42,002 --> 00:56:44,134
Nicomund.
924
00:56:47,843 --> 00:56:49,337
Nicomund the Red.
925
00:56:51,143 --> 00:56:53,781
You had a different job then?
926
00:56:53,816 --> 00:56:56,487
Yeah, you could say that.
927
00:56:56,522 --> 00:56:58,313
I was a warrior.
928
00:56:58,348 --> 00:57:00,656
A raider. A thief.
929
00:57:00,691 --> 00:57:04,418
And if somebody got in my way,
930
00:57:04,453 --> 00:57:05,991
me and Skullcrusher would...
931
00:57:06,026 --> 00:57:07,498
Who's Skullcrusher?
932
00:57:08,490 --> 00:57:11,634
Skullcrusher's my, uh...
933
00:57:11,669 --> 00:57:14,296
my hammer.
934
00:57:14,331 --> 00:57:16,606
My favorite hammer.
935
00:57:16,641 --> 00:57:19,037
I was a surgeon with that thing.
936
00:57:19,072 --> 00:57:21,369
Used to be able to take
three heads, line 'em up...
937
00:57:22,911 --> 00:57:25,615
But why?
938
00:57:25,650 --> 00:57:27,177
What?
939
00:57:27,212 --> 00:57:29,520
Why'd you do those things?
940
00:57:31,689 --> 00:57:33,557
Because I was mean.
941
00:57:35,022 --> 00:57:36,923
And I was greedy.
942
00:57:38,927 --> 00:57:41,895
And I wanted gold, jewels.
943
00:57:41,930 --> 00:57:44,326
Yeah, I mean, if there was
a naughty list back then,
944
00:57:44,361 --> 00:57:46,361
I'd be top dog.
945
00:57:48,068 --> 00:57:50,002
Well, maybe...
946
00:57:51,005 --> 00:57:52,400
What?
947
00:57:52,435 --> 00:57:54,402
Maybe all those bad things
you used to do...
948
00:57:55,746 --> 00:57:58,615
maybe you can use them
to do good things instead.
949
00:57:59,618 --> 00:58:01,981
To help.
950
00:58:02,016 --> 00:58:03,851
What do you mean?
951
00:58:03,886 --> 00:58:08,317
Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy.
952
00:58:08,352 --> 00:58:11,595
That night, you gave me
what I wished for.
953
00:58:11,630 --> 00:58:13,454
A best friend.
954
00:58:14,523 --> 00:58:17,260
'Cause you're good and kind.
955
00:58:17,295 --> 00:58:20,736
And you mean more than just
the presents you bring.
956
00:58:20,771 --> 00:58:23,365
That's why I believe in you,
Santa.
957
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:25,642
That's why I believe.
958
00:58:31,375 --> 00:58:32,979
Thank you.
959
00:58:34,983 --> 00:58:38,919
You stay hidden, Trudy,
till I come get you.
960
00:58:38,954 --> 00:58:40,888
Stay safe.
961
00:58:42,089 --> 00:58:44,694
All right,
we got satellite confirmation.
962
00:58:44,729 --> 00:58:46,861
Extraction team's on the go.
963
00:58:46,896 --> 00:58:49,193
30 minutes.
964
00:58:49,228 --> 00:58:50,766
We're on schedule.
965
00:58:50,801 --> 00:58:52,295
Everything's good.
966
00:58:52,330 --> 00:58:53,802
All right, fellas.
967
00:58:53,837 --> 00:58:55,298
Look alive, look alive.
968
00:58:55,333 --> 00:58:57,234
You all know the plan,
969
00:58:57,269 --> 00:59:00,710
and I like my operations
like I like to fuck:
970
00:59:00,745 --> 00:59:03,405
hard and fast
with minimal cleanup.
971
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:07,882
Now, some idiot gets
in your way, what do you do?
972
00:59:07,917 --> 00:59:09,950
Fuck their shit up right!
973
00:59:09,985 --> 00:59:11,589
Damn right.
974
00:59:12,581 --> 00:59:14,955
Time to lube up.
975
00:59:16,354 --> 00:59:18,761
Let's go, motherfuckers!
Let's go!
976
00:59:24,934 --> 00:59:26,967
This fucking family.
977
00:59:46,549 --> 00:59:48,582
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
978
00:59:48,617 --> 00:59:50,320
Merry Christmas.
979
00:59:50,355 --> 00:59:51,662
Happy holidays.
980
00:59:51,697 --> 00:59:52,795
Traitor.
981
00:59:54,392 --> 00:59:56,359
I got him in the east wing.
982
00:59:56,394 --> 00:59:58,702
All right,
we're on our way. Hold him.
983
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:13,882
Step aside.
984
01:00:27,766 --> 01:00:30,459
Now, how did this tired, old,
985
01:00:30,494 --> 01:00:33,033
fat piece of shit
get the drop on us?
986
01:00:33,068 --> 01:00:34,628
I don't know.
987
01:00:34,663 --> 01:00:36,630
He's not even armed.
988
01:00:36,665 --> 01:00:38,907
This bag is the only thing
he had on him.
989
01:00:38,942 --> 01:00:40,205
What's in there?
990
01:00:41,175 --> 01:00:42,944
Can't see anything.
991
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:48,609
Here, give it to me.
992
01:00:59,765 --> 01:01:02,359
What kind of moron...
993
01:01:02,394 --> 01:01:04,427
carries a chess set with him?
994
01:01:08,235 --> 01:01:09,872
What the fuck?
995
01:01:09,907 --> 01:01:12,270
Doesn't make any sense.
Look at all this shit.
996
01:01:19,576 --> 01:01:22,346
So, you're gonna tell us what's
the gimmick with the bag?
997
01:01:22,381 --> 01:01:24,117
It's magic.
998
01:01:24,152 --> 01:01:26,823
You put your hand in,
out comes a present.
999
01:01:28,794 --> 01:01:31,256
I don't really understand
how it works, either.
1000
01:01:32,721 --> 01:01:35,766
So, you're Mr. Scrooge.
1001
01:01:35,801 --> 01:01:37,724
That's right.
1002
01:01:37,759 --> 01:01:39,462
But who are you?
1003
01:01:39,497 --> 01:01:41,563
Weihnachtsmann.
1004
01:01:43,072 --> 01:01:44,742
Julenissen.
1005
01:01:45,844 --> 01:01:47,745
Shèngdàn Laorén.
1006
01:01:48,770 --> 01:01:51,782
Babbo Natale, Père Noel,
Kris Kringle.
1007
01:01:51,817 --> 01:01:54,411
Jolly old Saint Nick.
1008
01:01:54,446 --> 01:01:57,249
People call me a lot of things.
1009
01:01:58,285 --> 01:02:00,791
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
1010
01:02:00,826 --> 01:02:03,255
Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"?
1011
01:02:03,290 --> 01:02:06,720
If you're Santa,
where's your reindeer?
1012
01:02:06,755 --> 01:02:08,755
They were on the roof
1013
01:02:08,790 --> 01:02:11,296
until that guy I turned
into an ice kebab just...
1014
01:02:13,872 --> 01:02:15,333
You don't believe me?
1015
01:02:15,368 --> 01:02:16,763
Go check.
1016
01:02:16,798 --> 01:02:19,469
Prancer left
a tasty log up there.
1017
01:02:19,504 --> 01:02:21,273
This fucking guy.
1018
01:02:21,308 --> 01:02:23,143
You don't think...
1019
01:02:23,178 --> 01:02:26,113
Now, I know you're an idiot,
but don't be an idiot out loud.
1020
01:02:26,148 --> 01:02:28,181
Come on,
he's just in Santy Claus
1021
01:02:28,216 --> 01:02:30,183
with a fucking trick bag.
1022
01:02:30,218 --> 01:02:32,251
Oh, no!
1023
01:02:32,286 --> 01:02:33,989
That bag was full
of kids' dreams!
1024
01:02:34,024 --> 01:02:35,991
Oh, come on.
1025
01:02:36,026 --> 01:02:38,158
Everybody knows that
Christmas dreams are bullshit.
1026
01:02:39,161 --> 01:02:41,359
My father used to make
a big deal out of it
1027
01:02:41,394 --> 01:02:43,361
every Christmas.
1028
01:02:43,396 --> 01:02:45,594
Every freaking Christmas
with the presents
1029
01:02:45,629 --> 01:02:47,871
and the candy
and the decorations
1030
01:02:47,906 --> 01:02:51,369
and the Christmas caroling
and all that bullshit.
1031
01:02:52,878 --> 01:02:55,175
And then when I was...
1032
01:02:55,210 --> 01:02:58,706
I don't know, ten, 11,
1033
01:02:58,741 --> 01:03:00,642
he got laid off,
and that Christmas,
1034
01:03:00,677 --> 01:03:02,017
couldn't even afford a tree.
1035
01:03:02,052 --> 01:03:03,711
No Christmas dinner, no gifts.
1036
01:03:03,746 --> 01:03:06,021
Nothing, nada, culo, dick.
1037
01:03:07,024 --> 01:03:08,485
But our neighbors...
1038
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:10,322
our neighbors,
oh, they had it all.
1039
01:03:10,357 --> 01:03:12,060
I could see
all that yuletide cheer
1040
01:03:12,095 --> 01:03:14,722
through their window mocking me.
1041
01:03:14,757 --> 01:03:18,627
So Christmas Eve
rolls around, and...
1042
01:03:18,662 --> 01:03:21,696
I waited for everybody
to go to bed.
1043
01:03:21,731 --> 01:03:24,908
And then I snuck in there
to take it all.
1044
01:03:26,175 --> 01:03:28,538
Only problem was that
the gramps got up to take a piss
1045
01:03:28,573 --> 01:03:30,804
and the two of us scared
the shit out of each other.
1046
01:03:30,839 --> 01:03:34,148
And, um, he fell down the stairs
1047
01:03:34,183 --> 01:03:38,548
and-and broke his neck,
and he died in the hospital.
1048
01:03:38,583 --> 01:03:40,088
Everybody thought that I did it,
1049
01:03:40,123 --> 01:03:41,716
and every time
I tried to tell them,
1050
01:03:41,751 --> 01:03:43,861
I tried to tell them that...
1051
01:03:45,689 --> 01:03:47,898
Anyway, maybe I did do it.
1052
01:03:47,933 --> 01:03:49,933
Maybe I did push him.
1053
01:03:49,968 --> 01:03:51,935
Poor old fucker.
1054
01:03:51,970 --> 01:03:55,268
So, you see,
Christmas ruined my life.
1055
01:03:55,303 --> 01:03:56,863
Okay? But you know what?
1056
01:03:56,898 --> 01:03:58,337
It set me on the path
1057
01:03:58,372 --> 01:04:00,372
and made me the great man
that I am today.
1058
01:04:00,407 --> 01:04:02,209
I'm sorry, Jimmy.
1059
01:04:03,212 --> 01:04:04,607
I really am.
1060
01:04:05,643 --> 01:04:07,676
But I do gifts.
I do Christmas cheer.
1061
01:04:07,711 --> 01:04:09,920
I don't get involved
in people's lives.
1062
01:04:09,955 --> 01:04:13,583
Oh, yeah? Yeah, well,
maybe you fucking should!
1063
01:04:18,227 --> 01:04:21,393
Um, how did he know your name?
1064
01:04:21,428 --> 01:04:23,032
Oh, Bjorn.
1065
01:04:23,067 --> 01:04:25,199
What's your excuse?
1066
01:04:25,234 --> 01:04:26,893
Huh?
1067
01:04:26,928 --> 01:04:30,072
Didn't I get you that Huffy bike
you wanted back in '82?
1068
01:04:30,107 --> 01:04:33,372
One you wrote me 50 times about!
1069
01:04:33,407 --> 01:04:34,978
What about you, Kira?
1070
01:04:35,013 --> 01:04:37,948
Well, you made your brother
eat worms.
1071
01:04:37,983 --> 01:04:39,576
That's naughty!
1072
01:04:39,611 --> 01:04:41,446
Okay, how does he know
about my bike?
1073
01:04:41,481 --> 01:04:44,988
It's a lucky guess, like:
"Hey, do you like big tits?"
1074
01:04:45,023 --> 01:04:47,254
Come on, every kid wants
a fucking bike.
1075
01:04:47,289 --> 01:04:50,389
-You're gonna tell me who you
work for... -Oh, Christ. No.
1076
01:04:50,424 --> 01:04:53,491
Then you've got five seconds
to tell me who you really are.
1077
01:04:53,526 --> 01:04:56,296
Five, four, three, two...
1078
01:04:56,331 --> 01:04:57,968
I'm Santa Claus!
1079
01:04:58,003 --> 01:05:00,102
Well, not anymore.
1080
01:05:25,195 --> 01:05:27,195
Is it snowing?
1081
01:05:27,230 --> 01:05:30,297
Is he doing this
with Santa magic?
1082
01:05:36,899 --> 01:05:39,141
Let it snow!
1083
01:05:51,012 --> 01:05:52,979
It's not snow.
1084
01:05:53,014 --> 01:05:54,387
It's Styrofoam.
1085
01:05:54,422 --> 01:05:56,488
I told you this guy's
a big phony.
1086
01:06:11,032 --> 01:06:13,142
Where'd he go?
1087
01:06:13,177 --> 01:06:14,638
He went up the chimney.
1088
01:06:14,673 --> 01:06:16,244
- I saw it.
- I don't know,
1089
01:06:16,279 --> 01:06:18,246
he had a rig
or some pulley system
1090
01:06:18,281 --> 01:06:20,314
- that just yanked him up.
- You can't fit up there.
1091
01:06:20,349 --> 01:06:21,909
- It's impossible.
- Oh, you see one weird thing,
1092
01:06:21,944 --> 01:06:24,087
and then you think
you're in a fairy tale?
1093
01:06:24,122 --> 01:06:25,418
Incoming.
1094
01:06:25,453 --> 01:06:26,320
We've got sleigh bells
approaching.
1095
01:06:26,355 --> 01:06:28,058
Oh, my God.
1096
01:06:28,093 --> 01:06:29,917
It's his reindeer.
1097
01:06:31,723 --> 01:06:33,690
It's the extraction team.
1098
01:06:33,725 --> 01:06:35,692
Pull yourselves together!
1099
01:06:50,874 --> 01:06:54,942
And that is the sound
of my Kill Squad.
1100
01:06:56,583 --> 01:06:58,616
Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now.
1101
01:06:58,651 --> 01:07:00,684
Huh? What are you gonna do?
You little elf bitch.
1102
01:07:00,719 --> 01:07:02,224
Fu...
1103
01:07:02,259 --> 01:07:03,423
Bertie.
1104
01:07:03,458 --> 01:07:04,853
Hashtag "blessed."
1105
01:07:07,957 --> 01:07:10,463
Yeah!
1106
01:07:10,498 --> 01:07:11,695
Parkour.
1107
01:07:11,730 --> 01:07:12,894
Kill him, babe!
1108
01:07:12,929 --> 01:07:15,270
Oh!
1109
01:07:16,405 --> 01:07:17,932
Morgan's gonna save us.
1110
01:07:19,837 --> 01:07:23,311
Jean-Claude Van Dipshit
just ditched us, sweetie.
1111
01:07:30,584 --> 01:07:32,485
Hold your fire.
1112
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:34,047
Barrel roll!
1113
01:07:35,754 --> 01:07:37,050
Easy, easy.
1114
01:07:37,085 --> 01:07:38,953
- Yeah!
- Easy.
1115
01:07:38,988 --> 01:07:40,295
Identify yourself.
1116
01:07:40,330 --> 01:07:42,792
I'm one of the hostages.
1117
01:07:42,827 --> 01:07:45,960
Morgan Steel, the actor.
1118
01:07:45,995 --> 01:07:48,930
Played a lot of soldiers
in my career.
1119
01:07:48,965 --> 01:07:52,208
Can I just say, thank you
for your service. Semper fi.
1120
01:07:53,277 --> 01:07:55,145
What's the situation inside?
1121
01:07:55,180 --> 01:07:57,642
Bunch of ex-military guys,
1122
01:07:57,677 --> 01:07:59,644
but I got to warn you,
they know you're coming.
1123
01:07:59,679 --> 01:08:01,250
I think they're ready for you.
1124
01:08:01,285 --> 01:08:03,010
They better be.
1125
01:08:03,045 --> 01:08:05,111
We're on a tight schedule.
1126
01:08:05,146 --> 01:08:06,981
Shit.
1127
01:08:10,393 --> 01:08:12,492
Oh, f...
1128
01:08:12,527 --> 01:08:15,660
- All right, let's move out.
- Let's move out.
1129
01:08:19,864 --> 01:08:21,633
Come on.
1130
01:08:21,668 --> 01:08:23,866
You got to be kidding me.
1131
01:08:23,901 --> 01:08:25,505
Hey, Thorp,
you're ten minutes late.
1132
01:08:25,540 --> 01:08:27,001
What kept you?
1133
01:08:27,036 --> 01:08:29,377
Looks to me like your net's
got a hole in it.
1134
01:08:29,412 --> 01:08:31,709
Or are you just letting your
hostages out for some exercise?
1135
01:08:31,744 --> 01:08:34,041
No, no, no. We got
a wild gopher running around
1136
01:08:34,076 --> 01:08:36,516
complicating shit
and causing problems.
1137
01:08:36,551 --> 01:08:38,287
Who? Lightstone security?
1138
01:08:38,322 --> 01:08:39,717
Nah, I don't think so.
Some intruder dressed as Santa.
1139
01:08:39,752 --> 01:08:41,290
But I'm telling you,
I'm telling you,
1140
01:08:41,325 --> 01:08:43,292
there's something weird
about him.
1141
01:08:43,327 --> 01:08:45,052
Might be the real Santa.
1142
01:08:45,087 --> 01:08:47,362
- The fuck did she just say?
- Nothing, nothing.
1143
01:08:47,397 --> 01:08:48,495
She's joking.
1144
01:08:48,530 --> 01:08:50,893
My squad will take care of it.
1145
01:08:53,370 --> 01:08:55,964
Beta Team, go find this asshole.
1146
01:08:55,999 --> 01:08:58,241
Go.
1147
01:08:58,276 --> 01:09:02,377
Now, let's unwrap our present,
shall we?
1148
01:09:02,412 --> 01:09:04,709
All right, you heard the man.
1149
01:09:04,744 --> 01:09:07,250
Time to kill Santa.
1150
01:09:07,285 --> 01:09:09,813
I've got him. He's on the roof.
1151
01:09:09,848 --> 01:09:11,947
Roger that. I got eyes on him.
1152
01:09:29,472 --> 01:09:31,439
Right, Sugarplum.
Hit that button.
1153
01:09:38,415 --> 01:09:40,250
Here we go.
1154
01:09:40,285 --> 01:09:41,713
Our skeleton key.
1155
01:09:41,748 --> 01:09:43,550
The "open" magic stick.
1156
01:09:43,585 --> 01:09:45,420
This better fucking work.
1157
01:09:45,455 --> 01:09:48,016
I'm flushing my career for this,
my reputation.
1158
01:09:48,051 --> 01:09:50,557
Yeah, well, then you can
buy yourself a new rep.
1159
01:09:59,667 --> 01:10:01,304
As a kid, I loved
1160
01:10:01,339 --> 01:10:03,372
unwrapping Christmas presents
so much
1161
01:10:03,407 --> 01:10:06,067
that my mom would wrap
empty boxes for me.
1162
01:10:07,235 --> 01:10:09,279
I didn't care
that nothing was inside.
1163
01:10:21,458 --> 01:10:23,920
Is this a fucking joke?
1164
01:10:23,955 --> 01:10:25,185
No.
1165
01:10:26,661 --> 01:10:28,562
You said it would
fucking be here!
1166
01:10:28,597 --> 01:10:32,060
I'm telling you,
my intel was rock solid.
1167
01:10:32,095 --> 01:10:34,469
I had guys on the inside.
1168
01:10:35,769 --> 01:10:39,133
300 million in cash
was delivered here yesterday
1169
01:10:39,168 --> 01:10:41,278
to this fucking mansion.
1170
01:10:46,516 --> 01:10:49,143
Somebody must've intercepted it.
1171
01:10:53,149 --> 01:10:55,182
Son of a bitch.
1172
01:11:17,679 --> 01:11:19,041
Oh, shit.
1173
01:11:19,076 --> 01:11:21,714
Santa, you okay?
1174
01:11:21,749 --> 01:11:23,485
Santa.
1175
01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:25,619
A bunch of new bad guys
showed up.
1176
01:11:25,654 --> 01:11:27,621
They're on the naughty list.
1177
01:11:27,656 --> 01:11:30,393
They got their gadgets
and their gizmos on them.
1178
01:11:31,396 --> 01:11:33,858
I'm sorry.
I think this is it, kid.
1179
01:11:33,893 --> 01:11:35,629
No, no, don't say that.
1180
01:11:35,664 --> 01:11:37,631
The naughty list...
1181
01:11:37,666 --> 01:11:39,897
just grows and grows.
1182
01:11:48,842 --> 01:11:52,580
He's in that structure.
Body cams on.
1183
01:11:52,615 --> 01:11:54,681
Don't give up.
1184
01:11:54,716 --> 01:11:57,145
You make a wish this time,
Santa.
1185
01:11:57,180 --> 01:11:58,916
Just this once.
1186
01:11:58,951 --> 01:12:01,853
If you could have anything
in this world,
1187
01:12:01,888 --> 01:12:03,921
what would it be?
1188
01:12:09,863 --> 01:12:12,864
I wish I could see
Mrs. Claus again,
1189
01:12:12,899 --> 01:12:16,032
tell her how much I love her.
1190
01:12:16,067 --> 01:12:18,837
Then you make
that wish come true.
1191
01:12:18,872 --> 01:12:21,004
Oh, shit.
1192
01:12:21,039 --> 01:12:23,204
No, no, no, no. No, no.
1193
01:12:24,911 --> 01:12:26,372
Oh, God.
1194
01:12:26,407 --> 01:12:29,243
No.
1195
01:12:41,730 --> 01:12:44,698
You said these guys,
they're naughty.
1196
01:12:44,733 --> 01:12:47,602
And what do you do
to the naughty ones?
1197
01:12:47,637 --> 01:12:49,472
I give them a lump of coal.
1198
01:12:49,507 --> 01:12:51,573
Yeah. Give them their lumps.
1199
01:12:53,104 --> 01:12:55,137
Take that coal and shove it
straight up their...
1200
01:12:55,172 --> 01:12:57,480
- Anuses.
- Yeah!
1201
01:13:03,488 --> 01:13:04,982
They're right outside.
1202
01:13:19,537 --> 01:13:21,900
Santa's gonna eat
through these guys
1203
01:13:21,935 --> 01:13:23,803
like a plate full of cookies.
1204
01:13:28,469 --> 01:13:29,710
Move, move.
1205
01:13:33,551 --> 01:13:35,309
Hey, lock it up.
1206
01:13:37,181 --> 01:13:38,983
Lights down.
1207
01:13:40,184 --> 01:13:42,283
Stay at my back.
1208
01:13:42,318 --> 01:13:44,186
All right, we got this, boys.
1209
01:14:03,306 --> 01:14:05,515
All right, where the fuck
is my money?!
1210
01:14:05,550 --> 01:14:07,748
Where's the money?!
1211
01:14:18,827 --> 01:14:21,388
All right, I've been
a sweetheart up to now.
1212
01:14:21,423 --> 01:14:22,994
But that's all over.
1213
01:14:23,029 --> 01:14:24,699
No more fucking games!
1214
01:14:24,734 --> 01:14:26,360
Where's the money?
1215
01:14:26,395 --> 01:14:29,198
Or I will shoot every last
one of you and enjoy it.
1216
01:14:33,611 --> 01:14:36,238
- It's in the vault.
- I just looked in the vault.
1217
01:14:36,273 --> 01:14:37,745
Had the money been in there,
1218
01:14:37,780 --> 01:14:39,340
I'd have a different
expression on my face.
1219
01:14:39,375 --> 01:14:40,814
Impossible.
1220
01:14:40,849 --> 01:14:42,882
Takes days to get
into that thing.
1221
01:14:42,917 --> 01:14:46,281
Not if we have the key,
Mrs. Lightstone.
1222
01:14:47,790 --> 01:14:49,823
Thorp.
1223
01:14:51,288 --> 01:14:53,728
You can't trust anyone
these days.
1224
01:14:53,763 --> 01:14:55,928
I'm not sure how, but you
1225
01:14:55,963 --> 01:14:58,832
or one of your shithead kids
moved the money.
1226
01:14:58,867 --> 01:15:00,669
And this upsets me.
1227
01:15:00,704 --> 01:15:02,704
It upsets me
1228
01:15:02,739 --> 01:15:06,466
in a way that makes me want to
just randomly shoot at people.
1229
01:15:07,469 --> 01:15:09,711
Hold on. Just... Sorry.
1230
01:15:09,746 --> 01:15:11,240
- Um...
- What? What?
1231
01:15:11,275 --> 01:15:12,714
Uh, what if you randomly shoot
1232
01:15:12,749 --> 01:15:14,980
the only person
who knows where it is?
1233
01:15:16,214 --> 01:15:18,346
Oh, fuck you people!
1234
01:15:23,122 --> 01:15:27,993
♪ We waited
all through the year ♪
1235
01:15:29,095 --> 01:15:34,098
♪ For the day to appear ♪
1236
01:15:35,970 --> 01:15:41,710
♪ When we could be together ♪
1237
01:15:41,745 --> 01:15:44,075
♪ In harmony ♪
1238
01:15:45,683 --> 01:15:47,782
♪ You know the time will come ♪
1239
01:15:50,787 --> 01:15:53,150
♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪
1240
01:15:53,185 --> 01:15:54,657
Suck on this.
1241
01:15:59,191 --> 01:16:03,996
♪ And we can live forever ♪
1242
01:16:04,031 --> 01:16:07,263
♪ In a world where we are free ♪
1243
01:16:07,298 --> 01:16:10,431
♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪
1244
01:16:10,466 --> 01:16:13,643
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪
1245
01:16:13,678 --> 01:16:16,844
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪
1246
01:16:16,879 --> 01:16:19,649
♪ That makes you wish it was
Christmas every day... ♪
1247
01:16:19,684 --> 01:16:21,244
I need some feedback, guys.
1248
01:16:22,786 --> 01:16:24,720
Guys, what the hell is going on?
1249
01:16:25,723 --> 01:16:28,449
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪
1250
01:16:28,484 --> 01:16:32,794
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪
1251
01:16:34,732 --> 01:16:39,493
♪ We're all as one tonight ♪
1252
01:16:39,528 --> 01:16:44,135
♪ Makes no difference
if you're Black or white ♪
1253
01:16:47,041 --> 01:16:49,635
♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪
1254
01:16:52,343 --> 01:16:54,343
♪ In harmony ♪
1255
01:16:56,479 --> 01:17:01,185
♪ I know it's not too late ♪
1256
01:17:01,220 --> 01:17:04,155
♪ The world would be ♪
1257
01:17:04,190 --> 01:17:07,422
♪ A better place ♪
1258
01:17:09,690 --> 01:17:11,195
- What's that?
- Huh?
1259
01:17:11,230 --> 01:17:13,329
♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪
1260
01:17:15,333 --> 01:17:17,707
♪ More than one day
in the year ♪
1261
01:17:17,742 --> 01:17:21,744
♪ Send a message
loud and clear ♪
1262
01:17:23,341 --> 01:17:26,210
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪
1263
01:17:26,245 --> 01:17:28,883
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪
1264
01:17:28,918 --> 01:17:33,052
♪ That makes you wish
it was Christmas every day ♪
1265
01:17:35,188 --> 01:17:38,827
♪ To see the joy
in the children's eyes ♪
1266
01:17:38,862 --> 01:17:41,654
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪
1267
01:17:41,689 --> 01:17:46,461
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪
1268
01:17:47,464 --> 01:17:50,201
♪ It's the time of year
when everyone's together... ♪
1269
01:17:50,236 --> 01:17:52,104
Jesus Christ.
1270
01:17:53,074 --> 01:17:55,536
Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick.
1271
01:17:55,571 --> 01:17:57,846
♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪
1272
01:17:59,542 --> 01:18:03,214
♪ When the ones you love
are there ♪
1273
01:18:03,249 --> 01:18:08,021
♪ You can feel the magic
in the air... ♪
1274
01:18:08,056 --> 01:18:10,683
- Oh, God!
- There you go.
1275
01:18:10,718 --> 01:18:12,322
A little stocking stuffer.
1276
01:18:13,325 --> 01:18:16,799
Where is it?
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
1277
01:18:16,834 --> 01:18:19,395
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
1278
01:18:19,430 --> 01:18:21,804
- I got to watch.
- Fuck!
1279
01:18:23,236 --> 01:18:25,434
Ho-Ho-Holy shit.
1280
01:18:25,469 --> 01:18:27,810
♪ Christmas will never
go away. ♪
1281
01:18:27,845 --> 01:18:30,439
Gertrude would never
trust anybody
1282
01:18:30,474 --> 01:18:32,738
who wasn't blood
with this kind of info.
1283
01:18:32,773 --> 01:18:34,641
So...
1284
01:18:34,676 --> 01:18:38,216
the in-laws wouldn't know shit,
1285
01:18:38,251 --> 01:18:40,614
which means
that I can shoot her...
1286
01:18:42,321 --> 01:18:44,288
unless you tell me
where the fucking money is.
1287
01:18:44,323 --> 01:18:46,323
Please don't, okay?
It's Christmas.
1288
01:18:46,358 --> 01:18:48,160
Shut up!
1289
01:18:49,295 --> 01:18:50,756
I swear,
I'll blow her brains out
1290
01:18:50,791 --> 01:18:52,065
unless you tell me
where the money went.
1291
01:18:52,100 --> 01:18:54,298
I did it!
1292
01:18:54,333 --> 01:18:56,806
- What?
- Okay. Yeah, I did it.
1293
01:18:56,841 --> 01:18:58,731
- I moved the money.
- No, d-don't-don't be an idiot.
1294
01:18:58,766 --> 01:19:00,403
- What?
- The money's our only leverage.
1295
01:19:00,438 --> 01:19:02,141
Well, my wife has a fucking
gun to her head, so...
1296
01:19:02,176 --> 01:19:04,011
Yeah, how did you find out
that we were coming, huh?
1297
01:19:04,046 --> 01:19:05,606
I didn't. I was stealing it.
1298
01:19:07,049 --> 01:19:08,345
- Yeah, coincidence.
- Oh, my God.
1299
01:19:08,380 --> 01:19:09,852
I was planning to take the money
1300
01:19:09,887 --> 01:19:12,822
and leave with my wife
and daughter tonight
1301
01:19:12,857 --> 01:19:14,780
and never come back here.
1302
01:19:14,815 --> 01:19:18,289
Oh, and then my mom would, uh,
1303
01:19:18,324 --> 01:19:20,291
read the note with her whiskey
in the morning
1304
01:19:20,326 --> 01:19:21,996
and know what I had done.
1305
01:19:22,031 --> 01:19:24,361
For years,
I have been telling you
1306
01:19:24,396 --> 01:19:26,869
to stop caring about
your mother's fucking money!
1307
01:19:26,904 --> 01:19:29,971
And you think the solution
was to steal a bunch of it.
1308
01:19:30,974 --> 01:19:32,941
Well, it...
yeah, it does sound stupid
1309
01:19:32,976 --> 01:19:34,536
when you say it like that.
1310
01:19:34,571 --> 01:19:36,538
How can you do this right now?
1311
01:19:36,573 --> 01:19:38,672
It's disgusting. After all
that Mother has given us?
1312
01:19:38,707 --> 01:19:40,674
Come on, Alva.
Everything she ever gave you,
1313
01:19:40,709 --> 01:19:42,016
she made damn sure we knew
1314
01:19:42,051 --> 01:19:43,347
she had the power
to take right back.
1315
01:19:43,382 --> 01:19:47,186
I have spent years
groveling to you.
1316
01:19:47,221 --> 01:19:49,958
In the meanwhile,
I was destroying
1317
01:19:49,993 --> 01:19:51,993
the only good thing in my life.
1318
01:19:52,028 --> 01:19:53,489
What are we doing here, huh?
1319
01:19:53,524 --> 01:19:56,228
Family therapy or doing a heist?
1320
01:19:56,263 --> 01:19:59,330
- Yeah, enough of this sharing
bullshit. -
1321
01:19:59,365 --> 01:20:01,035
All right. Where'd you put it?
1322
01:20:07,505 --> 01:20:09,879
Look at this little idiot.
1323
01:20:13,742 --> 01:20:15,181
Oh, no.
1324
01:20:15,216 --> 01:20:16,985
What?
1325
01:20:17,020 --> 01:20:18,888
- The bad guys found me.
- Okay.
1326
01:20:18,923 --> 01:20:20,714
I'm coming.
1327
01:20:27,426 --> 01:20:31,098
You know, booby traps don't work
unless you hide them.
1328
01:20:33,938 --> 01:20:35,267
You little moron.
1329
01:20:38,602 --> 01:20:40,767
Jesus! Shit!
1330
01:20:44,872 --> 01:20:46,773
Help me! Help me! Help!
1331
01:20:48,315 --> 01:20:50,447
You'll be f... You'll be fine.
1332
01:20:50,482 --> 01:20:52,449
Sit tight.
I'll be back in a sec.
1333
01:20:55,586 --> 01:20:57,751
Right after I kill
this little piece of shit!
1334
01:21:00,657 --> 01:21:02,932
You little fucking brat.
1335
01:21:51,477 --> 01:21:53,180
You're dead!
1336
01:21:53,215 --> 01:21:55,545
You're so fucking dead!
1337
01:22:02,818 --> 01:22:05,126
Fucking piece of shit.
1338
01:22:10,463 --> 01:22:12,969
You little...
1339
01:22:30,549 --> 01:22:32,351
Incoming!
1340
01:22:51,240 --> 01:22:53,042
Son of a fucking...
1341
01:23:03,120 --> 01:23:05,010
Fuck.
1342
01:23:05,045 --> 01:23:06,748
I got you now, kid.
1343
01:23:06,783 --> 01:23:08,387
Yeah? Heads up.
1344
01:23:10,787 --> 01:23:12,325
That's all you got?
You fucking...
1345
01:23:15,132 --> 01:23:17,561
Enough of this shit.
1346
01:23:43,259 --> 01:23:44,291
Santa!
1347
01:23:54,435 --> 01:23:56,732
Hi, Trudy. Hi.
1348
01:23:56,767 --> 01:23:59,537
I made booby traps like
in the movie. It was so funny.
1349
01:23:59,572 --> 01:24:02,034
Ho, ho, ho.
1350
01:24:08,075 --> 01:24:11,813
Trudy, I want you to, uh...
just do me a favor.
1351
01:24:12,849 --> 01:24:15,751
Just turn around
and close your eyes.
1352
01:24:15,786 --> 01:24:18,490
Maybe put your fingers
in your ears and, uh,
1353
01:24:18,525 --> 01:24:21,592
sing "Jingle Bells"
as loud as you can.
1354
01:24:21,627 --> 01:24:23,594
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
1355
01:24:23,629 --> 01:24:25,926
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
1356
01:24:25,961 --> 01:24:28,269
♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪
1357
01:24:28,304 --> 01:24:31,239
You were about to murder
an innocent child.
1358
01:24:31,274 --> 01:24:32,405
♪ Jingle bells,
jingle bells... ♪
1359
01:24:32,440 --> 01:24:34,143
Innocent?
1360
01:24:34,178 --> 01:24:35,903
It's naughty.
1361
01:24:35,938 --> 01:24:37,278
Naughty.
1362
01:24:38,215 --> 01:24:39,742
Naughty!
1363
01:24:39,777 --> 01:24:41,414
It's part of
the Lightstone legacy.
1364
01:24:41,449 --> 01:24:43,185
We're horrible people.
1365
01:24:43,220 --> 01:24:45,011
So I get why you did
what you did.
1366
01:24:45,046 --> 01:24:47,112
When your grandfather told me
I'd never run the company
1367
01:24:47,147 --> 01:24:49,422
because a girl
doesn't have what it takes,
1368
01:24:49,457 --> 01:24:51,424
I had to snatch the reins
away from him.
1369
01:24:51,459 --> 01:24:52,953
But the point is,
1370
01:24:52,988 --> 01:24:54,658
a Lightstone takes
what's theirs.
1371
01:24:54,693 --> 01:24:56,264
I'm proud of you, son.
1372
01:24:56,299 --> 01:24:57,826
All right, where the hell is it?
1373
01:25:00,028 --> 01:25:01,896
The money's hidden inside.
1374
01:25:03,372 --> 01:25:06,274
And the Three Wise Men
presented him with gifts
1375
01:25:06,309 --> 01:25:09,068
of frankincense, myrrh...
1376
01:25:11,248 --> 01:25:14,315
and cold hard cash.
1377
01:25:14,350 --> 01:25:15,877
Load it up, boys.
1378
01:25:15,912 --> 01:25:18,220
All right,
we're securing the money.
1379
01:25:18,255 --> 01:25:20,046
Kill the hostages
and meet us outside.
1380
01:25:20,081 --> 01:25:21,817
What?
1381
01:25:21,852 --> 01:25:23,819
No.
1382
01:25:25,823 --> 01:25:27,119
Mom.
1383
01:25:27,154 --> 01:25:28,560
It's fine, Bert.
1384
01:25:28,595 --> 01:25:29,957
Everything's fine.
1385
01:25:29,992 --> 01:25:32,058
Okay.
1386
01:25:32,093 --> 01:25:34,203
Everybody, get up.
1387
01:25:34,238 --> 01:25:38,636
It's time for a murder.
1388
01:25:38,671 --> 01:25:41,067
Come on. Come on.
You don't want to kill us.
1389
01:25:41,102 --> 01:25:42,508
You really don't.
1390
01:25:42,543 --> 01:25:44,708
Oh, yes, I do.
1391
01:25:44,743 --> 01:25:47,843
I really, really, really do.
1392
01:25:47,878 --> 01:25:49,482
And I'm gonna start with you.
1393
01:25:49,517 --> 01:25:50,879
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1394
01:25:50,914 --> 01:25:52,045
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
1395
01:25:53,917 --> 01:25:55,521
You got to kill
Aunt Linda first.
1396
01:25:55,556 --> 01:25:57,490
What the hell, Bert?
1397
01:25:57,525 --> 01:25:59,327
You want to squeeze in
being a little shit
1398
01:25:59,362 --> 01:26:00,988
before you die, Bertrude?
1399
01:26:01,023 --> 01:26:02,528
- I say shoot him first.
- What?
1400
01:26:02,563 --> 01:26:04,596
Wait. No, no, no.
Don't shoot him.
1401
01:26:04,631 --> 01:26:06,697
Don't shoot him first.
And don't you call him
1402
01:26:06,732 --> 01:26:08,336
a little shit,
you gold-digging bitch.
1403
01:26:08,371 --> 01:26:10,195
Okay. I changed my mind.
1404
01:26:10,230 --> 01:26:12,164
-Shoot the alcoholic bitch
first. -Don't call my mom
1405
01:26:12,199 --> 01:26:14,276
- an alcoholic bitch.
- Your mom's an alcoholic.
1406
01:26:14,311 --> 01:26:16,036
- I'm sorry.
- You're a gold-digging bitch.
1407
01:26:16,071 --> 01:26:18,280
Oh, I'm a gold-digger,
when I have a whole-ass career?
1408
01:26:18,315 --> 01:26:19,842
You're not even part
of the fucking family.
1409
01:26:19,877 --> 01:26:22,548
- She's an engineer.
- You know goddamn well...
1410
01:26:22,583 --> 01:26:23,780
Shut up!
1411
01:26:27,654 --> 01:26:31,557
Just like rats in a barrel.
1412
01:26:32,560 --> 01:26:34,725
Why don't you die
with some dignity?
1413
01:26:39,798 --> 01:26:41,699
Get off of me!
1414
01:26:41,734 --> 01:26:43,371
Okay, okay.
1415
01:26:43,406 --> 01:26:44,702
Fuck you!
1416
01:26:44,737 --> 01:26:47,133
This is for yelling at my child!
1417
01:26:47,168 --> 01:26:48,640
Creep!
1418
01:26:48,675 --> 01:26:50,378
That's for slapping me,
motherfucker!
1419
01:26:50,413 --> 01:26:52,204
This is for
your dumb fucking hat!
1420
01:27:01,787 --> 01:27:03,589
Is he...
1421
01:27:03,624 --> 01:27:05,019
Is he dead?
1422
01:27:08,926 --> 01:27:10,761
Yeah.
1423
01:27:11,764 --> 01:27:13,467
Thanks, Linda.
1424
01:27:13,502 --> 01:27:16,470
Well, it's nice to do something
as a family for a change.
1425
01:27:17,770 --> 01:27:19,341
Oh, shit!
1426
01:27:19,376 --> 01:27:21,167
I'm gonna...
1427
01:27:25,349 --> 01:27:26,975
That was for Morgan.
1428
01:27:27,010 --> 01:27:31,782
He may have been stupid,
but he was very, very hot.
1429
01:27:33,214 --> 01:27:35,654
Oh. Trudy!
1430
01:27:35,689 --> 01:27:37,953
Mommy!
1431
01:27:37,988 --> 01:27:39,757
Thank God, baby.
1432
01:27:39,792 --> 01:27:41,627
Are you okay?
1433
01:27:41,662 --> 01:27:43,332
I'm okay, Mommy.
1434
01:27:43,367 --> 01:27:44,531
Okay.
1435
01:27:44,566 --> 01:27:46,962
This is my friend, Santa.
1436
01:27:51,474 --> 01:27:53,507
What the fuck?
1437
01:27:53,542 --> 01:27:55,344
I can't thank you enough,
Mister...
1438
01:27:55,379 --> 01:27:57,709
Claus. But please call me Santa.
1439
01:27:57,744 --> 01:27:59,205
Mm-hmm.
1440
01:27:59,240 --> 01:28:01,108
You guys should get out of here.
1441
01:28:01,143 --> 01:28:02,681
It's dangerous.
1442
01:28:02,716 --> 01:28:04,881
They took my husband
and her grandmother.
1443
01:28:06,918 --> 01:28:08,456
Anybody know how to work
these gizmos?
1444
01:28:08,491 --> 01:28:09,853
I think so.
1445
01:28:09,888 --> 01:28:11,525
I used to hunt with my dad.
1446
01:28:11,560 --> 01:28:12,724
Ow.
1447
01:28:12,759 --> 01:28:14,561
Copy that. How's that looking?
1448
01:28:14,596 --> 01:28:17,124
- Yeah, I got it on lockdown.
- Heads on a swivel, boys.
1449
01:28:18,600 --> 01:28:20,061
- Incoming!
- Heads up!
1450
01:28:21,570 --> 01:28:22,998
Oh, oh! Who's shooting?
1451
01:28:23,033 --> 01:28:24,835
Who's...
1452
01:28:24,870 --> 01:28:27,574
- Cap, get down!
- Watch it! Watch it!
1453
01:28:32,911 --> 01:28:35,109
Gun 'em down. Mow them all down.
1454
01:28:51,193 --> 01:28:53,930
-All right, let's get the fuck
out of here. -Let's go.
1455
01:28:53,965 --> 01:28:56,372
- Go where?
- Come on, move, you old bat.
1456
01:28:57,298 --> 01:28:58,968
Get your fucking
hands off of me.
1457
01:29:09,145 --> 01:29:11,552
Oh! Oh, shit.
1458
01:29:11,587 --> 01:29:14,819
My balls! My fucking balls!
1459
01:29:31,838 --> 01:29:34,410
Ow, my balls! Why did you
shoot me in the ball...
1460
01:29:38,174 --> 01:29:40,614
Oh, Jesus.
1461
01:29:40,649 --> 01:29:42,209
Sorry.
1462
01:29:44,312 --> 01:29:46,818
Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus.
We got this.
1463
01:29:46,853 --> 01:29:49,150
Who is that guy?
1464
01:29:49,185 --> 01:29:51,493
He said he was Mr. Claus.
1465
01:29:53,453 --> 01:29:55,497
- Fuck. Trudy.
- No, no.
1466
01:29:55,532 --> 01:29:56,993
She's in the house. She's okay.
1467
01:29:57,028 --> 01:29:58,500
She's safe.
1468
01:29:58,535 --> 01:30:00,667
- Oh, thank God.
- Yeah.
1469
01:30:21,349 --> 01:30:22,920
No, no.
1470
01:30:22,955 --> 01:30:25,494
- Oh... go, go, go, go, go.
- No, no, no. Wait, wait.
1471
01:31:11,267 --> 01:31:13,575
Oh, shit!
1472
01:31:16,107 --> 01:31:18,613
Ho, ho!
1473
01:31:20,507 --> 01:31:21,550
Fuck!
1474
01:32:05,486 --> 01:32:07,827
Fucking die.
1475
01:33:01,278 --> 01:33:03,113
Come on. Come on. Come on.
1476
01:33:03,148 --> 01:33:06,182
Yeah, over here. Over here.
1477
01:33:06,217 --> 01:33:07,546
Santa!
1478
01:33:08,516 --> 01:33:10,285
Come on!
1479
01:33:10,320 --> 01:33:11,858
Yeah.
1480
01:33:55,596 --> 01:33:56,672
Fuck.
1481
01:34:20,555 --> 01:34:22,588
You're real?
1482
01:34:24,064 --> 01:34:26,361
You're... him.
1483
01:34:29,366 --> 01:34:30,871
You're you.
1484
01:34:30,906 --> 01:34:33,500
That's what I've been trying
to tell you.
1485
01:34:33,535 --> 01:34:36,745
The real goddamn Santa Claus.
1486
01:34:36,780 --> 01:34:39,275
This is not your night, pal.
1487
01:34:39,310 --> 01:34:42,443
Oh, I don't know.
I think you're wrong.
1488
01:34:42,478 --> 01:34:45,754
I think my whole shitty life's
built up to this moment.
1489
01:34:45,789 --> 01:34:47,217
Because when I kill you,
1490
01:34:47,252 --> 01:34:50,385
this whole goddamn holiday
finally ends.
1491
01:34:52,290 --> 01:34:53,927
Whatever it takes...
1492
01:34:55,898 --> 01:34:57,931
Christmas dies tonight.
1493
01:35:50,282 --> 01:35:51,776
Whoa!
1494
01:37:17,105 --> 01:37:19,600
The last Christmas.
1495
01:37:29,645 --> 01:37:31,953
Not if you still believe.
1496
01:37:33,913 --> 01:37:35,924
No!
1497
01:38:04,185 --> 01:38:07,516
I have no idea what the fuck
is going on here.
1498
01:38:10,026 --> 01:38:11,927
But this ends now.
1499
01:38:17,099 --> 01:38:18,824
Damn right it does.
1500
01:38:28,044 --> 01:38:30,011
Trudy, be careful.
1501
01:38:33,874 --> 01:38:35,775
Santa!
1502
01:38:35,810 --> 01:38:38,151
Oh, no. Santa.
1503
01:38:39,715 --> 01:38:41,187
Oh, no.
1504
01:38:48,163 --> 01:38:50,130
You saved my daughter.
1505
01:38:51,133 --> 01:38:52,528
No.
1506
01:38:53,531 --> 01:38:55,003
She saved me.
1507
01:38:55,038 --> 01:38:57,929
Help him. Please help him.
1508
01:38:57,964 --> 01:39:00,305
Honey, I don't think
there's anything we can do.
1509
01:39:00,340 --> 01:39:01,636
It's okay. It's okay.
1510
01:39:01,671 --> 01:39:03,803
It's too late for that.
1511
01:39:03,838 --> 01:39:05,981
Too late.
1512
01:39:06,973 --> 01:39:09,776
I'm cold.
1513
01:39:09,811 --> 01:39:11,844
I haven't felt cold in years.
1514
01:39:11,879 --> 01:39:13,912
We need to keep him warm.
1515
01:39:14,981 --> 01:39:17,190
All of the fires are going out.
1516
01:39:17,225 --> 01:39:19,357
We need to find
something to burn.
1517
01:39:20,756 --> 01:39:22,195
I got an idea.
1518
01:39:25,365 --> 01:39:27,068
Whoa.
1519
01:39:28,731 --> 01:39:30,236
No.
1520
01:39:30,271 --> 01:39:32,469
No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no.
1521
01:39:32,504 --> 01:39:33,569
Please, Santa.
1522
01:39:33,604 --> 01:39:36,374
I don't want you to die.
1523
01:39:39,742 --> 01:39:41,346
Jason, let's slow this down.
1524
01:39:41,381 --> 01:39:42,974
What are you doing?
1525
01:39:43,009 --> 01:39:46,351
I've lived longer
than any man should ever live.
1526
01:39:46,386 --> 01:39:48,980
He's pretty much dead.
What the hell is happening?
1527
01:39:49,015 --> 01:39:51,059
- You don't need to burn money.
- Okay. More. Yeah.
1528
01:39:51,094 --> 01:39:54,392
You can't die, Santa.
You have to get up.
1529
01:39:54,427 --> 01:39:56,889
I think I used up
all my Christmas magic.
1530
01:39:57,859 --> 01:39:59,397
Sorry.
1531
01:40:01,731 --> 01:40:05,370
I'm s... I'm sorry I can't
give you what you asked for.
1532
01:40:06,868 --> 01:40:09,209
Take that. Take that.
1533
01:40:09,244 --> 01:40:10,639
But you did.
1534
01:40:13,611 --> 01:40:15,743
Santa, please don't die.
1535
01:40:15,778 --> 01:40:18,416
Wake up. Wake up.
1536
01:40:18,451 --> 01:40:21,012
We need to get him
close to the fire.
1537
01:40:21,047 --> 01:40:22,882
Jason.
1538
01:40:23,819 --> 01:40:25,555
Just wake up.
1539
01:40:26,591 --> 01:40:28,019
Please.
1540
01:40:28,054 --> 01:40:29,922
No.
1541
01:40:34,302 --> 01:40:37,402
Oh, I am so, so sorry.
1542
01:40:42,508 --> 01:40:45,179
This man...
1543
01:40:46,248 --> 01:40:49,744
This brave, brave man,
whoever he was...
1544
01:40:49,779 --> 01:40:51,075
He's Santa.
1545
01:40:51,110 --> 01:40:53,418
The real Santa. He is.
1546
01:40:53,453 --> 01:40:56,322
And I still believe in him.
1547
01:40:57,325 --> 01:40:59,952
I'll always believe in you,
Santa.
1548
01:41:04,695 --> 01:41:06,431
I believe in him, too.
1549
01:41:09,667 --> 01:41:12,437
He saved Trudy.
1550
01:41:12,472 --> 01:41:14,538
He saved our family.
1551
01:41:16,707 --> 01:41:18,872
What's realer than that?
1552
01:41:22,845 --> 01:41:24,614
Then maybe...
1553
01:41:27,223 --> 01:41:29,157
I believe in him, too.
1554
01:41:30,149 --> 01:41:31,621
So do I.
1555
01:41:32,657 --> 01:41:36,021
Oh, shit.
1556
01:41:36,056 --> 01:41:38,199
I guess...
1557
01:41:38,234 --> 01:41:40,300
I guess I do, too.
1558
01:41:40,335 --> 01:41:42,093
Fuck me.
1559
01:41:42,128 --> 01:41:43,864
I believe, too.
1560
01:41:54,382 --> 01:41:55,810
Oh, my God.
1561
01:41:55,845 --> 01:41:57,042
Santa!
1562
01:42:02,049 --> 01:42:03,488
You...
1563
01:42:05,426 --> 01:42:07,228
You were dead.
1564
01:42:08,231 --> 01:42:10,891
Christmas magic.
1565
01:42:10,926 --> 01:42:13,465
I still don't really
understand...
1566
01:42:13,500 --> 01:42:15,170
how it works.
1567
01:42:20,936 --> 01:42:23,068
Thank you.
1568
01:42:23,103 --> 01:42:25,136
I don't know
how we can ever repay you.
1569
01:42:25,171 --> 01:42:27,072
Well, you brought me back
from the dead,
1570
01:42:27,107 --> 01:42:28,579
so we'll call it even.
1571
01:42:29,846 --> 01:42:31,318
Even?
1572
01:42:31,353 --> 01:42:33,683
We just burned
half a million dollars.
1573
01:42:34,719 --> 01:42:36,180
- Look, Santa!
- Hmm?
1574
01:42:36,215 --> 01:42:37,687
Look who came.
1575
01:42:44,927 --> 01:42:48,335
Now you show up, huh?
1576
01:42:48,370 --> 01:42:49,897
You leave me here to die,
1577
01:42:49,932 --> 01:42:52,196
come back after
all the work's done, huh?
1578
01:42:52,231 --> 01:42:54,902
You know what? I should make
you guys into a stew
1579
01:42:54,937 --> 01:42:56,937
and feed you to the elves!
1580
01:42:59,205 --> 01:43:03,845
Yes, Blitzen!
Yes, I'm talking to you!
1581
01:43:03,880 --> 01:43:05,781
You, too, Prancer.
1582
01:43:11,250 --> 01:43:13,558
You got my sack.
1583
01:43:13,593 --> 01:43:17,430
My spare... You went home
and you got my spare sack?
1584
01:43:19,566 --> 01:43:22,193
Oh, God, I can't stay mad
at you guys.
1585
01:43:22,228 --> 01:43:23,931
I...
1586
01:43:23,966 --> 01:43:28,133
Aw. I can't. I can't.
1587
01:43:28,168 --> 01:43:30,905
Aw.
1588
01:43:31,941 --> 01:43:34,040
Aw.
1589
01:43:44,954 --> 01:43:46,591
Hello, beautiful.
1590
01:43:46,626 --> 01:43:48,296
Skullcrusher!
1591
01:44:01,509 --> 01:44:03,102
Guess this is goodbye.
1592
01:44:03,137 --> 01:44:04,444
I got to go.
1593
01:44:05,546 --> 01:44:07,447
Do you have to?
1594
01:44:11,046 --> 01:44:13,244
It's Christmas Eve,
and there's a lot of...
1595
01:44:13,279 --> 01:44:14,850
boys and girls on the nice list
1596
01:44:14,885 --> 01:44:17,182
that want their presents,
you know?
1597
01:44:19,362 --> 01:44:20,889
Thank you.
1598
01:44:21,892 --> 01:44:23,628
For what?
1599
01:44:23,663 --> 01:44:25,465
For believing in me.
1600
01:44:25,500 --> 01:44:28,402
For reminding me
that Christmas still matters.
1601
01:44:30,131 --> 01:44:32,670
And that I still...
1602
01:44:32,705 --> 01:44:34,870
matter.
1603
01:44:36,643 --> 01:44:38,577
You gave me
my "ho, ho, ho" back.
1604
01:44:48,688 --> 01:44:50,853
All right. Get out of here.
1605
01:44:54,727 --> 01:44:57,398
Merry Christmas!
1606
01:45:00,062 --> 01:45:01,325
Hyah!
1607
01:45:01,360 --> 01:45:04,834
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!
1608
01:45:04,869 --> 01:45:06,968
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
1609
01:45:07,003 --> 01:45:10,334
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
1610
01:45:10,369 --> 01:45:13,381
On, Donner and Blitzen!
1611
01:45:13,416 --> 01:45:17,077
Come on, you beautiful bastards!
1612
01:45:17,112 --> 01:45:20,311
We've got some work to do!
1613
01:45:20,346 --> 01:45:23,391
Hyah!
1614
01:45:23,426 --> 01:45:26,020
Ho, ho, ho!
1615
01:45:26,055 --> 01:45:29,254
Merry Christmas!
1616
01:45:40,476 --> 01:45:46,139
♪ Are you hanging up
your stocking on your wall? ♪
1617
01:45:48,374 --> 01:45:54,048
♪ It's the time that
every Santa has a ball ♪
1618
01:45:55,953 --> 01:45:59,757
♪ Does he ride
a red-nosed reindeer? ♪
1619
01:45:59,792 --> 01:46:03,464
♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪
1620
01:46:03,499 --> 01:46:09,129
♪ Do the fairies
keep him sober for a day? ♪
1621
01:46:10,132 --> 01:46:12,440
♪ So here it is ♪
1622
01:46:12,475 --> 01:46:14,442
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1623
01:46:14,477 --> 01:46:19,040
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1624
01:46:19,075 --> 01:46:22,373
♪ Look to the future now ♪
1625
01:46:22,408 --> 01:46:29,622
♪ It's only just begun ♪
1626
01:46:29,657 --> 01:46:35,353
♪ Are you waiting for
the family to arrive? ♪
1627
01:46:37,324 --> 01:46:39,467
♪ Are you sure you got ♪
1628
01:46:39,502 --> 01:46:42,932
♪ The room to spare inside? ♪
1629
01:46:44,804 --> 01:46:48,432
♪ Does your granny
always tell ya ♪
1630
01:46:48,467 --> 01:46:52,172
♪ That the old songs
are the best? ♪
1631
01:46:52,207 --> 01:46:55,175
♪ Then she's up
and rock-and-rolling ♪
1632
01:46:55,210 --> 01:46:57,617
♪ With the rest ♪
1633
01:46:57,652 --> 01:46:59,817
Hey, yo!
What's Gucci, squad fam?
1634
01:46:59,852 --> 01:47:02,952
It's the Bert Locker,
living the dream.
1635
01:47:02,987 --> 01:47:05,020
You know what? See this guy?
Dead as hell.
1636
01:47:05,055 --> 01:47:06,791
Santa's real, all right?
1637
01:47:06,826 --> 01:47:08,628
Don't end up
on the naughty list.
1638
01:47:08,663 --> 01:47:09,959
Do better.
1639
01:47:09,994 --> 01:47:12,093
Bert Lightstone out.
1640
01:47:12,128 --> 01:47:14,161
♪ So here it is ♪
1641
01:47:14,196 --> 01:47:16,163
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1642
01:47:16,198 --> 01:47:20,607
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1643
01:47:20,642 --> 01:47:23,973
♪ Look to the future now ♪
1644
01:47:24,008 --> 01:47:30,177
♪ It's only just begun ♪
1645
01:47:30,212 --> 01:47:32,520
♪ So here it is ♪
1646
01:47:32,555 --> 01:47:34,522
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1647
01:47:34,557 --> 01:47:37,822
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1648
01:47:37,857 --> 01:47:42,288
- ♪ It's Christmas! ♪
- ♪ Look to the future now ♪
1649
01:47:42,323 --> 01:47:49,966
♪ It's only just begun. ♪
1650
01:47:53,367 --> 01:47:55,004
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪
1651
01:47:55,039 --> 01:47:57,237
♪ Let's be good ♪
1652
01:47:57,272 --> 01:48:01,142
- ♪ This coming yuletide ♪
- ♪ Ding dong verily the sky ♪
1653
01:48:01,177 --> 01:48:03,584
♪ Or you'll see ♪
1654
01:48:03,619 --> 01:48:08,919
♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪
1655
01:48:08,954 --> 01:48:12,219
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪
1656
01:48:12,254 --> 01:48:15,354
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪
1657
01:48:15,389 --> 01:48:18,390
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1658
01:48:18,425 --> 01:48:21,426
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Unhappy! ♪
1659
01:48:21,461 --> 01:48:24,869
♪ He's told you once,
he's told you twice ♪
1660
01:48:24,904 --> 01:48:27,872
♪ Too much naughty,
not enough nice ♪
1661
01:48:27,907 --> 01:48:33,042
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪
1662
01:48:34,408 --> 01:48:37,343
♪ Where's the love
and where's the joy? ♪
1663
01:48:37,378 --> 01:48:40,544
♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪
1664
01:48:40,579 --> 01:48:45,791
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪
1665
01:48:45,826 --> 01:48:51,929
♪ Ah... ♪
1666
01:48:53,735 --> 01:48:55,867
♪ Santa's getting mad ♪
1667
01:48:55,902 --> 01:48:57,968
- ♪ Don't you make Santa crazy ♪
- ♪ Better not be bad ♪
1668
01:48:58,003 --> 01:49:00,564
-♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪ -♪ Baby ♪
1669
01:49:00,599 --> 01:49:03,303
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1670
01:49:03,338 --> 01:49:06,647
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪
1671
01:49:06,682 --> 01:49:09,881
♪ If you don't want ♪
1672
01:49:09,916 --> 01:49:12,950
♪ Coal this Christmas ♪
1673
01:49:12,985 --> 01:49:16,118
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪
1674
01:49:16,153 --> 01:49:19,319
♪ Make sure you keep
Santa jolly ♪
1675
01:49:19,354 --> 01:49:22,553
♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪
1676
01:49:22,588 --> 01:49:27,129
♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪
1677
01:49:27,164 --> 01:49:30,330
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪
1678
01:49:30,365 --> 01:49:33,641
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪
1679
01:49:33,676 --> 01:49:36,600
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1680
01:49:36,635 --> 01:49:39,812
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪
1681
01:49:39,847 --> 01:49:42,573
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1682
01:49:42,608 --> 01:49:44,410
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1683
01:49:44,445 --> 01:49:47,787
♪ Don't make him crazy ♪
1684
01:49:47,822 --> 01:49:49,283
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1685
01:49:49,318 --> 01:49:52,451
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1686
01:49:52,486 --> 01:49:55,487
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1687
01:49:55,522 --> 01:49:58,798
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1688
01:49:58,833 --> 01:50:01,669
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1689
01:50:01,704 --> 01:50:03,627
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1690
01:50:03,662 --> 01:50:06,674
♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪
1691
01:50:06,709 --> 01:50:09,468
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
1692
01:50:09,503 --> 01:50:11,140
♪ On the first day
of Christmas ♪
1693
01:50:11,175 --> 01:50:12,845
♪ My true love gave to me ♪
1694
01:50:12,880 --> 01:50:15,606
♪ Good King Wenceslas
looked out ♪
1695
01:50:15,641 --> 01:50:18,510
♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪
1696
01:50:18,545 --> 01:50:21,381
♪ Jingle bells. ♪
1697
01:50:44,340 --> 01:50:47,044
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪
1698
01:50:47,079 --> 01:50:50,212
♪ In heaven,
the bells are ringing ♪
1699
01:51:09,871 --> 01:51:17,871
♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪
1700
01:51:17,978 --> 01:51:20,176
♪ Hosanna ♪
1701
01:51:20,211 --> 01:51:28,085
♪ In excelsis. ♪
116768
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