All language subtitles for Gag Real (SD, 5m28s)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:04,000 Ladies and gentlemen, 2 00:00:04,001 --> 00:00:08,021 you're about to see why absinthe is illegal in the United States. 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,238 What I would like you to do... 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:14,189 ...Is take a deep breath in through your nose... 5 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,994 ...and let it out as we go. 6 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,518 - Thank you, you bastard. Thanks. - All our money? 7 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,830 Our tickets, our "pastards." 8 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:33,078 This is why Paris... Uh... This is why... Fuck, sorry. 9 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:35,793 Oh, fuck, I forgot the line. 10 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,678 - Sorry. Sorry. - Pardon. 11 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,319 - Sorry. - Pardon. 12 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,830 - Oh, fuck, I'm sorry. - Pardon. 13 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:43,954 She's... Sorry about that. 14 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:51,711 You're so fucking clumsy. 15 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,760 Look. Look at this picture. 16 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,273 No more hitting me in the testicles. 17 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,716 Administer the testicle clamps! 18 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,917 Shh. Recording. 19 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:04,950 Fuck me. Sorry. 20 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,475 Sorry, what do I say? What do you say when you...? 21 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,200 I'm gonna rip away his pants and look at his dick, okay? Okay. 22 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,431 - Heh, heh. - Ready? Quick, shut up. 23 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,829 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 24 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,560 Sorry, I fucked it up. Keep going, keep going. 25 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,673 Okay, right. Okay, okay. All right. 26 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,559 Welcome to Club Vandersexxx... 27 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,996 ...Amsterdam's most erotic club... 28 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,635 ...where your every fantasy will be fulfilled. 29 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:31,795 Let's get ugly! 30 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:38,278 That is the one and only special feature for the DVD. 31 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,192 Now with more embarrassing footage. 32 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,752 This is a dead rabbit. I'm gonna show it to Michelle. 33 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,598 I'm Fred Armisen. See you on the set. 34 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,997 Oh, no, fuck. 35 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:48,395 Shake that ass. 36 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:51,315 Whoo! 37 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,835 Shake it. Look at me. 38 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,238 Argh! 39 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,718 Oh, okay, take it. 40 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:24,911 Take it all, you dirty girl. 41 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,233 Take it. Take it all, you dirty girl. 42 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,552 - I wish. Can I be a real girl today? - Not today. 43 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,951 This will end badly. 44 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:40,590 For you and your... I'm completely fucking it up. Sorry. 45 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,360 I heard two years ago, Nicky Jager's... Fuck. 46 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,352 This will end badly. 47 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:50,510 And your super-size imperial... Oh, shit. 48 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:51,829 Wow, awful, start again. 49 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:56,119 And your super-size imperial... Oh, shit. 50 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,672 Can you say, "What the fuck did I do last night?" 51 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,319 Uh! Mm. 52 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,278 Oh, fuck. Oh, I'm sorry. 53 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,558 Shit. You don't have to run like that, you could, uh... 54 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:08,994 Shit, what could she do? 55 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,794 Administer the testicle clamps! 56 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,515 Check these out! I'm 18 years old! 57 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:35,751 The sheer joy, the gratitude for being who you are and where you are. 58 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,639 Oh, that's some pretty fucked-up shit. 59 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,394 Oh, love you. I love you! 60 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,349 And knowing how to love is really knowing how to love your life... 61 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,512 ...and be grateful for all that you are. 62 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,515 Om... 63 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,512 Help me. No. 64 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:08,957 Om... 65 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,639 I'm sorry. 66 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,317 Sorry. Sorry. 67 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:19,995 Don't rub your junk. 4756

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