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1
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Ladies and gentlemen,
2
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you're about to see why absinthe
is illegal in the United States.
3
00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,238
What I would like you to do...
4
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:14,189
...Is take a deep breath in
through your nose...
5
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,994
...and let it out as we go.
6
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,518
- Thank you, you bastard. Thanks.
- All our money?
7
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:26,830
Our tickets, our "pastards."
8
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:33,078
This is why Paris... Uh... This is why...
Fuck, sorry.
9
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:35,793
Oh, fuck, I forgot the line.
10
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- Sorry. Sorry.
- Pardon.
11
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,319
- Sorry.
- Pardon.
12
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,830
- Oh, fuck, I'm sorry.
- Pardon.
13
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She's... Sorry about that.
14
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:51,711
You're so fucking clumsy.
15
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Look. Look at this picture.
16
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No more hitting me
in the testicles.
17
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Administer the
testicle clamps!
18
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,917
Shh. Recording.
19
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:04,950
Fuck me. Sorry.
20
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,475
Sorry, what do I say?
What do you say when you...?
21
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,200
I'm gonna rip away his pants
and look at his dick, okay? Okay.
22
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- Heh, heh.
- Ready? Quick, shut up.
23
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,829
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
24
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,560
Sorry, I fucked it up.
Keep going, keep going.
25
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,673
Okay, right. Okay, okay.
All right.
26
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Welcome to Club Vandersexxx...
27
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...Amsterdam's most erotic club...
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...where your every
fantasy will be fulfilled.
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Let's get ugly!
30
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That is the one and only
special feature for the DVD.
31
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Now with more embarrassing footage.
32
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This is a dead rabbit.
I'm gonna show it to Michelle.
33
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I'm Fred Armisen.
See you on the set.
34
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Oh, no, fuck.
35
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Shake that ass.
36
00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:51,315
Whoo!
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Shake it.
Look at me.
38
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Argh!
39
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Oh, okay, take it.
40
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Take it all, you dirty girl.
41
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Take it. Take it all,
you dirty girl.
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- I wish. Can I be a real girl today?
- Not today.
43
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This will end badly.
44
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For you and your...
I'm completely fucking it up. Sorry.
45
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I heard two years ago,
Nicky Jager's... Fuck.
46
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This will end badly.
47
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And your super-size imperial...
Oh, shit.
48
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:51,829
Wow, awful, start again.
49
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:56,119
And your super-size imperial...
Oh, shit.
50
00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,672
Can you say, "What the
fuck did I do last night?"
51
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,319
Uh! Mm.
52
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,278
Oh, fuck. Oh, I'm sorry.
53
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,558
Shit. You don't have to run
like that, you could, uh...
54
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:08,994
Shit, what could she do?
55
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,794
Administer the testicle clamps!
56
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,515
Check these out!
I'm 18 years old!
57
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:35,751
The sheer joy, the gratitude for being
who you are and where you are.
58
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,639
Oh, that's some pretty
fucked-up shit.
59
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,394
Oh, love you.
I love you!
60
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,349
And knowing how to love is really
knowing how to love your life...
61
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...and be grateful for
all that you are.
62
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Om...
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Help me. No.
64
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Om...
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I'm sorry.
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Sorry. Sorry.
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Don't rub your junk.
4756
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