Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,951
These are the packages that you
will have to check as luggage.
2
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,394
Great.
3
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,230
And these two, you have to
hand carry onto the plane.
4
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,556
Um... Excuse me.
What about all of our luggage?
5
00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:01,757
You sold your luggage space.
That's why these flights are so cheap.
6
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,560
Right. So, what are we supposed
to do with all of our stuff?
7
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,475
Hi.
8
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,233
- Ahem. A little help.
- Sure.
9
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,711
- There it is.
- Okay.
10
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:49,953
Jesus.
11
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,913
Hi.
Excuse me.
12
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,234
Excuse me.
Thanks.
13
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,993
There it is.
14
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,074
- You good?
- Yeah, in a second.
15
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:43,789
Yeah!
16
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,076
Yeah!
17
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:53,115
My baby takes
the morning train
18
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:57,035
He works from
9 till 5 and then
19
00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:00,716
He takes another home again
20
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,351
To find me waiting for him
21
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,238
He takes me to a movie
22
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:10,189
Or to a restaurant
To go slow dancing
23
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,237
Anything I want
24
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,038
Only when he's with me
25
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,078
I catch a light
26
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,078
Only when he gives me
27
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:22,473
Makes me feel ail right
28
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:26,520
My baby takes the
morning train
29
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:30,514
He works from 9 till 5
and then
30
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,355
He takes another home again
31
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:38,195
To find me waiting for him
32
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,515
A toast.
33
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,398
- A toast.
- Yes. Oop.
34
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:46,630
To Mieke.
35
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:47,835
To Europe.
36
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,559
- To Cooper.
- To Cooper.
37
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:50,994
Thank you.
38
00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:02,354
And so when you are quite through
using the dining table as a litter box...
39
00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,672
...voila, I'addition, the bill.
40
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:08,635
Whoa.
41
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,029
You guys,
this is like...
42
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:12,709
...a thousand dollars.
43
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,596
Excuse me, what is
this hundred euros?
44
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,080
Bread charge.
45
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,550
- But you put it on the table.
- And you ate it. Heh.
46
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,950
What about this? Coat check.
We didn't check any coats.
47
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,272
Perhaps you should have.
I overcharged you for it.
48
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:31,715
Uh, the bill's fine, but, uh, I think
we will have one more bottle of wine.
49
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,075
If you would, senor.
50
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,317
Excellent.
51
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:38,753
What are you doing?
We can't afford that.
52
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,032
That frog wanker's trying to Friar Tuck
us in the tradesman's entrance.
53
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,199
- What?
- He's a dick. Let's ditch.
54
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,429
Wait, ditch? What does that mean?
Wait, where you guys going?
55
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,472
- Come on.
- Jenny?
56
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:08,912
Instead of your wine, I have brought
you this bottle of vinegar, knowing...
57
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:15,714
- Jenny.
- Wait up.
58
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,991
Ah! It has happened again.
59
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,596
Another American running
out on the bill.
60
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:27,669
I have endured these
slaps on the faces...
61
00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:31,231
...for too many years.
62
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,758
American soccer team,
the bill.
63
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,676
Monsieur Morrison.
Jim, the bill.
64
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:57,758
Monsieur General Patton.
The bill! The bill!
65
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:02,473
Why? Why does this
keep happening to me?
66
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,551
Perhaps it is my fault.
67
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:09,715
Perhaps I, how you say,
bring it upon myself.
68
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:13,956
Excuse me.
Do y'all have a table for two?
69
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,519
But of course.
70
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,557
Will you be requiring the silverware...
71
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,394
...or should I simply strap
on the feed bag...
72
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,956
...like you are used to in America?
73
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,878
Cooper.
74
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,110
What?
75
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,593
Fine.
76
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,119
I'm just trying to make a memory.
77
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,991
Oh, God.
78
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:39,035
I'm so hot I'm sweating
like a pig.
79
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,834
God, that feels good.
80
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:50,115
You know, after a run like that,
you could use a rubdown.
81
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,233
Oh, yeah. Why don't you give me
a tongue bath while you're at it?
82
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,073
Works for me.
83
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,915
Now, let's get you to the next
compartment and out of those wet clothes.
84
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,037
Cooper, quit hitting
on my sister.
85
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,714
Jamie, relax. We're just joking around.
He's not hitting on me.
86
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:04,995
Yes, I am.
87
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:08,999
Are you serious?
88
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,591
You treat me like a linebacker
for four years...
89
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,400
...and then you see me in a bathing suit
and you wanna fool around?
90
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,355
It was a bikini.
91
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,599
Oh, my God.
You got dumber.
92
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,997
Oh, come on. I thought you wanted
to be like Nicky Jager's slutty sister...
93
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,992
...and hook up in Europe
with some guy.
94
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,754
I was talking about "guy" guys.
95
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,959
Look, maybe it's silly...
96
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:34,039
...but I wanna meet a
sophisticated European man.
97
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:38,080
Someone who'll treat me like
a woman for a change.
98
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,952
Who'll take me out on his boat
on the Aegean on a moonlit night...
99
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,758
...and tell me I'm beautiful
in a foreign language.
100
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,799
You know, romance.
101
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,511
Oh. Okay, no,
I hear you.
102
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,078
So seriously, do you
wanna do it or what?
103
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,118
Ugh! No.
104
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,432
Wait, you've got a little something on you.
It's like tree sap or something.
105
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,273
- Cooper. Cooper.
- I wouldn't, hm?
106
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,510
Stay away from my sister.
107
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,751
Well, if I can't date your sister...
108
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,480
...how would you feel if
I dated your camera?
109
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:18,429
Hey, that's a.. That's a Leica.
Come.. Give that back.
110
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,833
Why does this keep
on happening to me?
111
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,716
Jamie, you sure this
place is decent?
112
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,515
Frommer says it's the best
youth hostel in Amsterdam.
113
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:58,311
Hello, and welcome to Amsterdam's finest
and most luxurious youth hostel.
114
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,118
- Sounds good.
- Yes.
115
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,671
We feature one medium-sized
room containing 70 beds...
116
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,753
...which can sleep up to
375 bodies a night.
117
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,799
There is no bathroom,
nor is there one nearby.
118
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:13,397
If you do not wish to
have your valuables stolen...
119
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:16,996
...I suggest destroying them
or discarding them right now.
120
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:22,275
You can also try hiding your
valuables in your anus.
121
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:26,560
This will deter some but,
of course, not all thieves.
122
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,953
Once you're inside, the doors are
chained and locked from the outside.
123
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,236
They will not be opened
again until the morning.
124
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,630
No matter what.
125
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,519
Should a fire occur...
126
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:42,476
...due to our faulty wiring or, uh,
the fireworks factory upstairs...
127
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,029
...you will be incinerated
along with the valuables...
128
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,111
...that you have hidden
in your anus.
129
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,038
Tips are greatly appreciated.
130
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,390
Ew, yuk!
131
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,190
Aah!
132
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:05,913
All our money, our passports,
our tickets, everything, gone.
133
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,073
How the hell could this happen?
134
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,198
We all go to Amsterdam and
Jamie's the one who hooks up.
135
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,279
For shame.
136
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,398
This is hopeless.
No one's even slowing down!
137
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,309
How are we gonna get
someone to take us to Berlin?
138
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,553
Boys, boys. Don't send a
man to do a woman's job.
139
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,392
One ride, coming up.
140
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,751
Okay. Ready for a ride, boys?
141
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,912
And...
142
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,431
Okay, they are going pretty fast.
It's good.
143
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,279
Just time to get serious.
144
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,152
- Here we go.
- Hold him back.
145
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,914
Oh, come on.
This is totally unfair.
146
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,037
You're just gonna show
them to strangers?
147
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,038
Okay. Showtime.
148
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,951
Hey! Buddy!
Take a look!
149
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,954
Jenny, this is Europe.
150
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,350
They have orange juice ads
with lesbians and dildos.
151
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,955
You gotta show them something
they haven't seen before.
152
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:17,750
Fine. You wanna get nuts?
Let's get nuts.
153
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:23,315
Hey! Check these out!
I'm 18 years old!
154
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:26,354
Come on!
They're very nice!
155
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,471
Little bit of lookie right here!
156
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,758
What's wrong with you people?
157
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,431
I don't get it.
These are quality boobs.
158
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,996
Hey, let it go.
None of us could've done any better.
159
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,276
I should've taken off my pants.
160
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,113
Mmm!
161
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,670
Summer at Sea.
There it is.
162
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,920
Oh, look. The Colosseum.
163
00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:02,792
It is very important. I need to speak
with Mieke Schmidt before she leaves.
164
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:07,476
Is there someone else I could talk to?
Do you have a supervisor?
165
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,200
This will take a minute.
Can you have a seat, please?
166
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,913
Okay.
167
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,198
Ah, Summer at Sea.
168
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,069
Bunch of young, hot-blooded
Europeans packed into a tiny boat.
169
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,356
It's like a giant orgy,
heh, heh.
170
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,514
Oh, sorry.
171
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,678
Wait a minute,
you're the supervisor?
172
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,989
So you could tell me where
Mieke Schmidt is right now?
173
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,114
Oh!
174
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,119
Mieke Schmidt.
175
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,319
No.
176
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,432
No.
177
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,757
No. Ah!
178
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,392
No.
179
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,711
Mieke Schmidt?
180
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,838
- Mieke Schmidt.
- It is.
181
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,512
- Great.
- Mieke Schmidt.
182
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,752
- Oh, Mieke Schmidt.
- Oh, wait. No, come on. Stop.
183
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,149
- No. Come on.
- Mieke Schmidt.
184
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,079
- No, no, no. Guys, a little help.
- No, no, no. Guys.
185
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,277
- Guys, help, please. Mieke Schmidt.
- Please. Please.
186
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,511
- Come on...
- Please.
187
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,000
No. No.
188
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,069
I can't believe you hooked
up again, Jamie.
189
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,311
You're on fire.
190
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,750
All right, Mieke's tour starts
in the Vatican Museum.
191
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,560
Jamie, where the hell is that?
192
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:11,554
- Oh! Swearing? Vatican.
- Shit. I forgot.
193
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,518
- I did it again, fuck.
- Oh!
194
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:17,509
- Fudge, all right? I fu... Fudge. I mean.
- Better.
195
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,634
See, I don't think,
technically, this was a sin.
196
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,269
I mean, there's nothing
about it in the Bible.
197
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,272
- It's assumed.
- What...
198
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,075
We gotta open the window.
199
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,953
- Oh, Scott.
- Oh, Mieke.
200
00:16:56,360 --> 00:17:00,115
- Mieke, let's make love for one whole month.
- What?
201
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,114
Nothing.
202
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,474
Oh, Mike... Mieke.
203
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,235
Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.
204
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,597
I have cheated on my husband
with our next-door neighbor.
205
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,269
Do you think God will
ever forgive me?
206
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,238
Oh, yes.
207
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,238
Father?
208
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,792
Grab her buttocks with
your two manly hands.
209
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,152
Yes. You take her hair...
210
00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:01,035
...and one strand at a time,
pull it out.
211
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,033
Use her like a humping post.
212
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:13,318
Giuseppe, come to Mama.
Oh!
213
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,074
Oh, no.
214
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,958
Hold on.
215
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,593
Cooper, not again.
216
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,353
Bad Cooper! Bad!
217
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,031
You're freaking me out.
218
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,636
- The time for that has passed.
- Take it easy, man. I'm not really a robot, okay?
219
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,598
- I'm a grad student.
- You made your choice.
220
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,115
- I just do this for pizza money, dude.
- Hey! No. Cooper.
221
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,957
Hold on. This could be my new roommate.
222
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,318
I love you, Mieke.
223
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,832
I love you.
224
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,318
We are perfect for each other.
What do you think?
225
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,274
I think...
226
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,152
I think maybe you have
made a big mistake.
227
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:37,353
- That girl has just pranged him.
- Right in the clunge.
228
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,150
...I don't understand.
229
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,709
What did you think
was going to happen?
230
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,116
I don't know. We just...
231
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,831
We got along so well,
you know?
232
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,237
- All the e-mails, you said I might be the one.
- Scott.
233
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:03,435
Scott, I, I do like you.
234
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,520
But there's so much we still
don't know about each other.
235
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,714
You're right.
236
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,959
Guess this whole thing was
a pretty stupid idea, huh?
237
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,591
Stupid...
238
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,396
...but very sweet.
239
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,480
Unless you're a devout Catholic...
240
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,109
...in which case, it was an
unholy crime against God.
241
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,313
Yeah, I'm gonna stick with sweet.
242
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,517
It's got a little bit of
a better ring to it.
243
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,239
You know, Scott Thomas...
244
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,313
...you surprise me.
245
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,198
You never seemed like
the kind of person...
246
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:44,069
...who would travel halfway around
the world just to meet me.
247
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:48,879
Well, what can I say?
I'm very unpredictable.
248
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,073
Well...
249
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,912
...it would've been fun to come to America
and spend some time with you...
250
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,309
...but I have to go.
251
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,639
Here's my new e-mail
address on the boat.
252
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,791
Keep writing to me,
Scott, okay?
253
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,670
Yeah, maybe I will.
254
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,073
Hey, I definitely will!
255
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,589
I may just write you
a letter tonight!
18796
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof