Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,845
My name is Velma Dinkley.
2
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,641
And this is my origin story.
3
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:20,687
Sure, normally, origin stories
are about tall, handsome guys
4
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:24,066
struggling with the burden
of being handed even more power.
5
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,526
And if they are about girls,
it's usually like,
6
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:29,321
"Hey, what made
this hot chick go crazy?"
7
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:33,200
So, to remedy this,
I've decided to finally share
8
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,994
the bone-chilling events
that drove me to assemble
9
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:39,456
the greatest team of spooky mystery
solvers ever.
10
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:43,043
Yeah, it was me.
Not Fred and his weird sex van.
11
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,921
This is my story, told my way.
12
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,799
And it starts
with a murder, bitch.
13
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,556
Brenda?
14
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,563
This school sucks.
15
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:12,698
Team shower
discussion topic of the day.
16
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,325
Have you ever noticed
how pilot episodes of TV shows
17
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,577
always have
more gratuitous sex and nudity
18
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:18,829
than the rest of the series?
19
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,414
- Oh, my God, I have.
- So true.
20
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:23,041
That's how we learned what Rachel
Brosnahan's boobs look like.
21
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,459
And Don Cheadle's butt.
22
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,628
Well, I, for one, think it's lame.
23
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,255
- Agreed.
- So lame.
24
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,966
- The lamest.
- I actually kind of love it.
25
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:34,553
Sex sells. And in today's
overcrowded market, you need a hook.
26
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:38,974
The only hook a good show ever needs
is good storytelling.
27
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,727
Then why was your favorite part
of the Riverdale pilot
28
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,478
when Betty and Veronica kissed?
29
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:45,772
Well, because it was instantly
called out as tired in the scene.
30
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:49,609
- No. It's because it was hot.
- You can have it both ways.
31
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:53,989
No, you can't. Just admit
we are all secretly perverts.
32
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,240
Never!
33
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,128
And how do you feel about
race-blind casting, Daphne?
34
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:13,008
Well, as an Asian woman,
I think it's cool.
35
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,010
I mean, not to oversimplify
a thorny issue,
36
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:18,889
but everyone loves it when white people
play Jesus or a professional boxer.
37
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,224
Why can't it ever go
the other way, right?
38
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:24,603
Yes. I wasn't expecting
such an enlightened answer
39
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,481
from such a bitch.
40
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,567
Velma? What the hell?
You almost killed me.
41
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,444
Guess I didn't try hard enough.
42
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:38,575
See? Now, if this was a show,
it'd be super-hot if you two kissed.
43
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,411
Krista, if this was a show,
you'd be killed off for being horny.
44
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,622
Brenda?
45
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,082
Did you climb in my locker to prove
how skinny you are again?
46
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,709
We get it.
47
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,463
She has no brain!
48
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,716
I am not dissing her.
She has no brain.
49
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:07,229
Hello?
Anybody? I know my rights.
50
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,481
I get a phone call
and a handsome detective
51
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,399
I infuriate with my indifference.
52
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:15,362
Who killed Brenda, Velma?
53
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,739
You're not real,
you're not real.
54
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:19,407
Who isn't real, sweetie?
55
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:24,079
God's not real if you two morons
are running this investigation.
56
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:28,124
How we've missed
that sense of humor, girl.
57
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,127
Seriously. How long has it been since
Daphne had you over to our house?
58
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,464
Since my mom went missing.
Two years ago.
59
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,591
Right. That.
60
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,678
- Oh, my God. You totally forgot.
- No, we didn't.
61
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,138
Every day,
we're closer to finding Doodad.
62
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,640
Diya. Her name is Diya.
63
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,725
You know what?
We're done here. Peace.
64
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,396
Unfortunately,
we're not done here, Velma.
65
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,399
You're a suspect
in Brenda's murder. Now sit.
66
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,820
I'm a suspect? I thought lesbians
were good at solving crimes.
67
00:03:56,903 --> 00:04:00,573
It's like the one positive stereotype
perpetuated by cop shows.
68
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,159
Velma,
she was found in your locker
69
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,828
and you were lurking
around the showers
70
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,455
like a gym teacher who isn't
a gym teacher anymore.
71
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,207
Clearly,
someone's trying to frame me.
72
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,294
And I wasn't lurking.
I was waiting to shower alone.
73
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,379
- Because of your weight?
- What? No.
74
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:17,465
- Because of your handsome face?
- My face is fine.
75
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,384
Because of your
hairy gorilla arm?
76
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:23,138
No, because I hate your stupid adopted
daughter and her fake-ass friends.
77
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:29,102
And yet you and Daphne used to be
best friends. Isn't that right?
78
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,272
Yeah, until Daphne got hot
and ditched me
79
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,441
to hang out with Brenda
and the other popular girls
80
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,985
at Spooner's Malt Shop.
I could kill them all.
81
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,863
Okay, I see how this looks bad.
82
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:43,241
Look, we know you couldn't
kill Brenda, sweetie.
83
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:46,411
But we also know we're not, like,
the best detectives.
84
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:49,205
So the only way we're going to convince
the sheriff you're innocent
85
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,666
is if you help us find
Brenda's actual murderer.
86
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:55,420
Help you find Brenda's murderer?
But that's a mystery.
87
00:04:55,503 --> 00:05:00,175
And I don't solve mysteries.
Not anymore.
88
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,270
Then you're screwed.
89
00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:14,939
You've got 24 hours
and then we arrest you.
90
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,735
But still, so good seeing you.
We miss you.
91
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,653
Say hi to your father
and Doodad.
92
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:21,946
Diya!
93
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,038
Hey!
Watch where you're going, jerk.
94
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,124
Hey, Fred.
95
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,418
- Do I know you?
- It's Velma, from school.
96
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,254
You cheat off me in Spanish
because you think I'm Mexican.
97
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:42,842
Maybe. I have a disease where
I can't recognize people who aren't hot.
98
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:45,887
My doctor says it's basically
sickle cell for rich guys.
99
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:49,557
- Is it called rudeness?
- It is. You're like, smart.
100
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,268
- Thank you.
- Yeah, not a compliment.
101
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,853
Anyway, have you seen Daphne?
102
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:56,189
- She texted.
- Fred. Thank God you're here.
103
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:58,566
- Brenda's...
- Into me. No, I know.
104
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,194
I'm caliente,
as this one's people would say.
105
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,446
No. Brenda's dead.
106
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,697
What? No!
107
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,741
She was my plan B
if you ever got too clingy.
108
00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,117
What happened?
109
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,452
- Ask Velma.
- Who?
110
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,455
Me, Fred.
We were just... Forget it.
111
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:22,674
- Not now, Daph. Geez.
- Then when, Fred? When?
112
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:25,468
And just FYI,
I didn't kill Brenda.
113
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,388
And how are you
going to prove that, Velma?
114
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,474
You don't solve
mysteries anymore.
115
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,519
You're not real.
You're not real.
116
00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:38,064
Seriously, who is this weirdo?
117
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,233
Did your moms, like,
adopt another kid?
118
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,282
Dad! You can't just eat soggy fries
from the takeout container.
119
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,575
You have to crisp them
in the oven first.
120
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:53,413
I saw you eat a fry out of the vacuum
cleaner last week, so spare me.
121
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,290
- I've had a long day.
- You've had a long day?
122
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,750
I was accused
of a murder I didn't commit.
123
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:01,004
- And whose fault is that?
- Excuse me?
124
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,923
Don't you raise your eyebrows
at me, Steve Harvey.
125
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,758
You know exactly
what I'm talking about.
126
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,261
- Fine.
- Velma, I love you.
127
00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:10,346
But I'm a lawyer,
so trust me when I say this.
128
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,724
People only think
you murdered Brenda because you...
129
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:16,185
Were voted "Most Revenge-y"
in the school yearbook. I know.
130
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,188
Those yearbook guys
have no idea what's coming to them.
131
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,400
No, because you're a weirdo.
Ever since your mother disappeared,
132
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,694
you haven't even tried to hang out
with the normal kids
133
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:26,070
at Spooner's Malt Shop.
134
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,530
Maybe I'd hang out there more
135
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,532
if you hadn't knocked up
a Spooner's waitress
136
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:32,118
while your actual wife
is still missing.
137
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,995
Velma, that's not fair!
138
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,247
I'm not just a waitress.
I'm also...
139
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,624
A basic bitch who doesn't even know
how to use hashtags?
140
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:42,211
No, I'm also, hashtag,
the owner of Spooner's.
141
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,172
The baby's kicking.
142
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:47,133
Hashtag, get my new camera
out of my bag, Aman.
143
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:53,056
You got an actual camera?
With what money?
144
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,767
Dad says we can't even afford
to buy me a second sweater.
145
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,686
- Oh, God!
- I know, but it's about priorities.
146
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:03,232
You need a real camera to capture real,
unmanufactured moments.
147
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,028
Well, I have to go
prepare myself for prison.
148
00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:08,613
Not that you care.
149
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,740
Velma, real talk, shero to shero.
150
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:14,619
People only think you're a murderer
because you're a creepy loser.
151
00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,329
But that will change tonight,
152
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:20,792
when you become a glamorous waitress
at Spooner's Malt Shop.
153
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:36,307
That was Brenda's
favorite song.
154
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:39,769
And yeah, normally in pop culture,
when a slutty girl is murdered,
155
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:42,563
we're all a little like,
"Well, maybe she deserved it".
156
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,441
But that is what made Brenda
so special.
157
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,153
She was the rare slut that did not
deserve to be murdered.
158
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,031
Thank you, Krista.
That was beautiful.
159
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:55,952
But Brenda wasn't just a rare slut.
She was a rare friend.
160
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,120
In fact,
she was such a rare friend,
161
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:02,959
she made my previous so-called best
friend look like a piece of crap.
162
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:08,089
Especially now that I know she's
the main suspect in Brenda's murder.
163
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:11,384
Daphne, sweetie,
that was private.
164
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:13,553
Bump this noise.
165
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,645
Nope.
166
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,821
Hello?
167
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,120
You're not real.
168
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,205
You're not real.
169
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,710
I am real! A real man, Father!
170
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:48,879
Who are you?
171
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,841
- If I tell you, will you remember?
- I have an illness!
172
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,551
What are you
doing out here, Fred?
173
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:56,679
I guess since you're a stranger
I'll never see again, I can tell you.
174
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,431
I'm trying to pull myself together
175
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:00,766
so I can be the man
my father expects me to be.
176
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,685
Zam! DILF city.
177
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,937
- Sorry. Continue.
- No, I get it.
178
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,439
And I want to be
as manly as him.
179
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:10,693
But since Brenda died,
I can't stop crying like a total puss.
180
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,611
Hey, hey. It's okay. I get it.
181
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,530
I have this whole thing
with my mom.
182
00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:16,115
Did she put her cigars
out on you?
183
00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:19,452
No. My mom smoked cigarettes.
184
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:24,874
Figuring that out was
the first mystery I ever solved.
185
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,793
Shit. Hi, sweetie.
186
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:32,131
See, my mother wrote mysteries.
187
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,219
And from that day on, she gave me
little mysteries to solve
188
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,221
while she worked and smoked.
189
00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:43,351
Like the case
of the missing idea juice.
190
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:46,645
But eventually,
191
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,940
I grew bold, and sought mysteries
of my own.
192
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:55,529
But instead of feeling excited
I found my Christmas presents,
193
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:59,116
I felt terrible.
I'd ruined Christmas.
194
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,119
But still,
my mom felt so bad for me,
195
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:05,664
she ran out to buy something
I could unwrap Christmas morning.
196
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:09,710
That was the last time
I ever saw her.
197
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,297
Hey, don't forget to buy yourself
something from me.
198
00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:15,466
That night,
the police found my mom's car
199
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:18,636
abandoned and empty,
except for her glasses,
200
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:21,305
and a single
wrapped gift for me.
201
00:11:22,389 --> 00:11:25,851
So I put on my mom's glasses
and vowed I wouldn't open her gift
202
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,103
until I found her.
203
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,731
But I felt so guilty
that it was my mystery solving
204
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,650
that had caused her
to go missing,
205
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:35,361
I started having
horrifying hallucinations.
206
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,697
This is all your fault, Velma.
207
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:42,493
Why did you have to go
and solve your own mystery?
208
00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:47,373
Now, when I try
to solve a mystery,
209
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:50,835
my guilt triggers a potentially
heart-stopping hallucination.
210
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,254
Could exercising and eating less
fried food help?
211
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:54,713
We'll never know.
212
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,216
After hearing that, I not only feel
emotionally hooked,
213
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,969
I understand the stakes
of your journey, Velma.
214
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,428
You remembered my name.
215
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:04,306
That's never happened
to me before.
216
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,559
Fred! Watch out!
217
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:09,562
You're right! If anyone ever saw me
talking to you, I'd die of shame.
218
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,819
Velma!
There you are!
219
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,404
Norville? What the hell?
220
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,573
You didn't answer my VMs.
Voice mails.
221
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,533
And then my dad heard me
call you the B word,
222
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:24,869
so I lost my phone for 24 hours.
But I had to find you.
223
00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:26,787
Because I still didn't know
if you'd listened to my VMs,
224
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,497
voice mails,
let alone responded. Did you?
225
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,125
Yes. And I don't want to do
our math homework together.
226
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,252
Just email me
your answers like always.
227
00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,921
Yes, of course. Though I left you
some other VMs, voice...
228
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,090
I know what VMs are!
Get to the point.
229
00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:40,926
I already did.
In my VMs.
230
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:45,973
Velma, it's Norville. From math.
I know who killed Brenda.
231
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,892
- Oh, my God. Who?
- I left you six more VMs.
232
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:54,273
So I guess what I'm saying is,
I don't know who killed Brenda.
233
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,233
Damn it, Norville,
you're wasting my time.
234
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:59,445
If I can't convince people
I didn't kill Brenda by tomorrow,
235
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,280
I'm going to be arrested.
236
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,699
I know, But I also know how to find out
who did kill Brenda.
237
00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:05,284
Have you ever wondered
why Spooner's,
238
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:08,120
a boring malt shop owned by a woman
with a breathe tattoo,
239
00:13:08,203 --> 00:13:09,913
is the coolest spot
in Crystal Cove?
240
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:12,625
Only every day of my life.
On TV shows,
241
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:15,294
the malt shop owner
is always a friendly Black man,
242
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:17,796
or a spicy meatball Italian.
243
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,633
So you're like, "the kids come here
for the folksy wisdom".
244
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,468
But Sophie has no wisdom.
245
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:24,553
Just a lot of T-shirts
with puns about wine.
246
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:28,098
Exactly. I think it has
something to do with drugs.
247
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,516
Which I hate.
248
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:35,356
I had one of my reporters on the school
newspaper investigate Spooner's.
249
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,149
Guess which one.
250
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,694
- Dorkus McNoFriends?
- Well, Dorkus was actually busy.
251
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,446
So I gave Brenda my camera
252
00:13:42,529 --> 00:13:44,615
to photograph
anything suspicious there.
253
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:47,659
And she said she got a picture
of something weird in the bathroom,
254
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,036
but didn't say what.
255
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,371
Wait. So you think...
256
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:54,291
No, I know Brenda was murdered to
keep that photograph from getting out.
257
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,043
Holy crap!
258
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,712
Sophie just got a new camera,
which I know we can't afford.
259
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,715
Hashtag, get my new camera
out of my bag, Aman.
260
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,467
But what if she didn't buy it?
261
00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:05,969
What if she took it from Brenda
after killing her,
262
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,930
to protect the secret
of Spooner's popularity?
263
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,140
If I can find
your camera on Sophie,
264
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:12,851
I'd solve Brenda's murder
and send Sophie to jail.
265
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,186
It's a win-win.
266
00:14:14,269 --> 00:14:17,773
Or maybe we could find
the camera together?
267
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,066
Together?
268
00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:21,026
Yeah.
Just because it's mine.
269
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,612
But also your hallucinations.
I could maybe help?
270
00:14:23,695 --> 00:14:26,865
Okay. I thought you were, like,
suggesting a date.
271
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:28,826
A date? You wish.
272
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,703
A date. What?
273
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:47,261
- Holy mother of God.
- Yes, it's true.
274
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:50,305
Sophie photographs babies
dressed up as vegetables.
275
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,849
It's our dirty little secret.
276
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:53,767
But that's how
she afforded the new camera.
277
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:57,396
Okay, but if this isn't
Norville's camera, who killed Brenda?
278
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:00,274
Oh, no! The camera!
279
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,282
Is someone trying
to solve a mystery?
280
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:09,908
No. I was just
asking a question.
281
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:16,498
- Heart attack.
- Velma, what is this?
282
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,375
Did you eat
all the gummy vitamins again?
283
00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:21,795
Damn it, Aman. Can't you see
that she's trying to solve a mystery?
284
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,301
There you go.
Get it all out.
285
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:30,554
Yep. Okay. Oh, boy.
Still more.
286
00:15:30,637 --> 00:15:33,807
I'm sorry. I thought you killed Brenda
because she figured out
287
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,559
the secret
to your diner's popularity.
288
00:15:35,642 --> 00:15:38,186
I get that.
But there isn't any secret to it.
289
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,022
Just good food, great tunes.
290
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,065
And I let teens
have sex in the bathroom.
291
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:44,860
And I'm sorry I didn't believe you
about your hallucinations.
292
00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:46,904
But, Velma, I told you this.
293
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:49,865
Your mother didn't go missing
because you solved a mystery.
294
00:15:51,366 --> 00:15:52,451
She left us.
295
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,037
No, she didn't.
Something bad happened to her,
296
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,246
and it's my fault.
297
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:59,416
Because if Mom just left us,
it means she didn't love us.
298
00:15:59,499 --> 00:16:02,961
Which is insane. Sure, you were
a huge jerk, Dad, but I was...
299
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,006
My eye!
300
00:16:07,674 --> 00:16:08,842
My book!
301
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,013
My idea juice!
302
00:16:17,392 --> 00:16:19,728
Oh, God.
Mom wasn't taken.
303
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:23,231
She left because she hated us.
304
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,860
Yes. So you can stop feeling guilty
about your mysteries.
305
00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:31,198
And you can start changing your
personality to fit in and avoid prison.
306
00:16:33,241 --> 00:16:34,826
What? Too soon?
307
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,662
No. No, you're right.
308
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:39,206
It's time to stop
feeling guilty and move on.
309
00:16:56,765 --> 00:17:00,685
Are you an exchange student
from a more sexually liberated country?
310
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,354
No, it's Velma.
311
00:17:02,437 --> 00:17:05,857
I'm just unburdened by the belief
I caused my mother to go missing.
312
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:07,984
Well, now that you're not
a total dog,
313
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:10,112
do you want to hang out
at Spooner's Malt Shop later?
314
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:13,365
Yes. Because I'm just a normal,
well-adjusted teen now.
315
00:17:13,448 --> 00:17:15,492
- Like all of you.
- She is.
316
00:17:15,575 --> 00:17:16,868
My opinion's changed.
317
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:21,665
Velma, do you like playing cards?
Because I'm calling bullshit.
318
00:17:21,748 --> 00:17:24,584
This outfit is clearly just a ploy
to make us think
319
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:27,462
you're not a brain-removing
serial killer anymore.
320
00:17:28,004 --> 00:17:29,339
No, it's not.
321
00:17:37,764 --> 00:17:39,307
Enough!
322
00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:44,437
My fellow populars, yes.
Underneath this banging new look,
323
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:47,149
Velma is still the fashionably
challenged loser
324
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:51,611
we depend on for group projects.
But last night, we spoke.
325
00:17:52,028 --> 00:17:53,655
And yes, while it was awful,
326
00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:57,200
I learned this is not a creature
capable of murder. Nay.
327
00:17:57,284 --> 00:18:01,121
It is just a scared little boy
who wants our friendship.
328
00:18:15,051 --> 00:18:16,428
Perfect.
329
00:18:19,055 --> 00:18:20,515
Well, well, well.
330
00:18:24,644 --> 00:18:25,979
Well, well, well.
331
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:46,666
- Well, well, well.
- Can you just get to it?
332
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:49,294
- Class is starting.
- I have a whole speech.
333
00:18:50,545 --> 00:18:52,547
Fine. I'll just
skip to the main part.
334
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,507
Well, guess what, Velma?
335
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:57,052
If you want my boyfriend,
you can have him.
336
00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:59,262
Boyfriend?
You think I want Fred?
337
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:01,014
I mean, sure,
if someone was, like,
338
00:19:01,097 --> 00:19:03,141
"want to see a naked picture of Fred?"
I'd be like, "Hubba hubba!"
339
00:19:03,224 --> 00:19:07,228
But I'd say that about anyone.
LeBron, Helen Mirren, a mummy.
340
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,814
Fred? Naked?
Hilarious.
341
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,692
We've been dating for a year, and he
still won't even take his pants off.
342
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:13,944
A year?
343
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,403
- He gay?
- I haven't heard that rumor.
344
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,864
I have heard rumors
about other people.
345
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,241
Yeah, we've all heard
those rumors.
346
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,369
Anyway, Fred's so self-conscious
about his body,
347
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:25,372
he kicks everyone out of the bathroom
at Spooner's Malt Shop
348
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,708
when he has to use it.
So have fun with that.
349
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:32,212
Wait. The bathroom
at Spooner's Malt Shop?
350
00:19:32,295 --> 00:19:34,464
Oh, my God.
351
00:19:36,007 --> 00:19:37,175
Norville!
352
00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:38,968
Hey, I was rethinking
our friendship this morning...
353
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:41,054
No time!
Drive me to Fred's house!
354
00:19:41,137 --> 00:19:42,389
I'll get my windbreaker.
355
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,103
Why would Fred kill Brenda
356
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:50,063
just because she photographed him
in the bathroom?
357
00:19:50,146 --> 00:19:51,940
Why wouldn't he?
If I were a rich white dude,
358
00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:54,109
I'd kill everybody
just to get away with it.
359
00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:57,028
Won't looking for my camera trigger
your potentially fatal hallucinations?
360
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:58,613
Though
"Saving Friend from Death"
361
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,323
would make
for a great college essay.
362
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:03,785
My hallucinations have stopped.
Once I realized solving mysteries
363
00:20:03,868 --> 00:20:05,578
didn't cause
my mom to go missing,
364
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,580
I no longer felt the guilt
that triggered them.
365
00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:09,666
Okay, but have you given
any thought
366
00:20:09,749 --> 00:20:11,793
to all the other ways you could die
trying to solve a mystery?
367
00:20:11,876 --> 00:20:14,963
Crushed by a revolving bookcase.
Attacked by bats.
368
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:16,131
Falling off a fence.
369
00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:17,757
Stop. I'll be fine.
370
00:20:18,758 --> 00:20:20,427
Velma, did you fall?
371
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,929
No, I'm cool
and graceful like a swan.
372
00:20:23,012 --> 00:20:25,348
Okay, 'cause it really
sounded like you fell.
373
00:20:39,028 --> 00:20:40,905
- What?
- I'm bored.
374
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,867
Norville! Get off my jock
and let me solve this mystery.
375
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,414
Oh. God,
I'm starting to hallucinate.
376
00:20:49,497 --> 00:20:51,249
You just said those were over.
377
00:20:51,332 --> 00:20:53,418
Well, I guess I needed
more than three minutes online
378
00:20:53,501 --> 00:20:55,628
to make a mental health
diagnosis, didn't I?
379
00:20:56,754 --> 00:21:00,258
- Wait. This isn't so bad.
- No, it's not bad, Velma.
380
00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:03,803
But it's going to be!
381
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,388
Help me, Norville!
382
00:21:08,975 --> 00:21:11,436
Velma! Velma! Can you hear me?
383
00:21:11,519 --> 00:21:13,730
Just remember, these hallucinations
are only in your head,
384
00:21:13,813 --> 00:21:15,398
so focus on what I'm saying.
385
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,943
Velma!
386
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:20,653
You're not saying anything.
387
00:21:21,654 --> 00:21:24,282
I know! I'm kind of drawing
a blank right now.
388
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:28,912
Have you seen
any good movies lately?
389
00:21:28,995 --> 00:21:31,414
Oh, God!
Here comes the big one.
390
00:21:31,497 --> 00:21:32,916
Stop! You can't die.
391
00:21:32,999 --> 00:21:35,168
Why? I'm weird
and no one likes me.
392
00:21:35,251 --> 00:21:36,419
That's not true.
393
00:21:36,961 --> 00:21:40,590
I like you.
Like, like like you.
394
00:21:40,673 --> 00:21:42,592
Wait, what?
No, you don't.
395
00:21:42,675 --> 00:21:45,220
You're like a brother to me.
That's hilarious.
396
00:21:48,431 --> 00:21:50,934
Wait. Norville.
Your joke worked, you genius.
397
00:21:51,017 --> 00:21:52,727
- Keep making me laugh.
- I wasn't joking.
398
00:21:52,810 --> 00:21:54,896
Your face is why
I get up in the morning.
399
00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:59,108
That's perfect.
One more time should do it.
400
00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:00,902
Make it super cringy.
401
00:22:00,985 --> 00:22:02,904
You're the main character
in all my dreams.
402
00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:06,240
Okay, stop.
I'm peeing. I'm peeing.
403
00:22:08,242 --> 00:22:11,621
Norville, it worked.
Who knew you were so funny?
404
00:22:11,704 --> 00:22:13,581
Yes, it's hilarious.
I'm the funniest man alive.
405
00:22:15,041 --> 00:22:16,918
This is not what I need right now.
406
00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:21,965
Bingo.
407
00:22:24,968 --> 00:22:26,594
These are just
Krista hooking up with...
408
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,471
Damn, Krista. Get it.
409
00:22:28,554 --> 00:22:30,765
But why does
Fred have the camera?
410
00:22:32,183 --> 00:22:36,646
Because Velma,
Brenda also photographed this.
411
00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:40,942
Wait. Your secret is
you're hairless?
412
00:22:41,025 --> 00:22:44,946
If I was hairless, I'd literally wear
a bikini to school every day.
413
00:22:45,029 --> 00:22:46,364
Not hairless, Velma.
414
00:22:46,447 --> 00:22:48,658
I haven't finished going
through puberty yet.
415
00:22:48,741 --> 00:22:49,951
I'm a late bloomer.
416
00:22:50,034 --> 00:22:52,787
How else are my features
so boyishly delicate?
417
00:22:52,870 --> 00:22:57,166
But Father says, if people know,
they'll laugh, and never respect me
418
00:22:57,250 --> 00:23:00,962
as the man and unquestioned leader
that I am meant to be.
419
00:23:01,045 --> 00:23:03,715
So we keep the secret hidden away
to avoid embarrassment.
420
00:23:03,798 --> 00:23:06,759
Which is why Brenda,
and her stupid camera
421
00:23:06,843 --> 00:23:09,429
left me no choice
but the unthinkable.
422
00:23:09,512 --> 00:23:11,639
- Oh, no.
- It's okay.
423
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,225
I'm just gonna to do to you
what I did to Brenda.
424
00:23:27,029 --> 00:23:28,531
What the hell?
425
00:23:30,283 --> 00:23:33,327
You saved my life.
You're not terrible cops, after all.
426
00:23:33,411 --> 00:23:35,121
They assumed
you were a package thief.
427
00:23:35,204 --> 00:23:36,289
It worked out, didn't it?
428
00:23:36,998 --> 00:23:39,750
Okay. Well,
I proved my innocence.
429
00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:43,129
Can I go? I'd like to wash
Fred's leg blood out of my mouth.
430
00:23:43,212 --> 00:23:44,797
Yeah, sweetie,
you're free to go.
431
00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:46,716
But we're taking credit
for the arrest.
432
00:23:46,799 --> 00:23:49,844
Linda lost her taser on a loop-de-loop
roller-coaster last week,
433
00:23:49,927 --> 00:23:51,345
so we need a win.
434
00:23:51,804 --> 00:23:53,890
Wait. You think
I killed Brenda?
435
00:23:53,973 --> 00:23:57,018
You just said you were going to do
to me what you did to her.
436
00:23:57,101 --> 00:24:00,354
I meant pay you to keep quiet.
I'm innocent.
437
00:24:00,438 --> 00:24:02,315
I'm too much of a puss
to kill someone.
438
00:24:02,398 --> 00:24:03,649
I'd laugh, Fred.
439
00:24:03,733 --> 00:24:06,611
If I wasn't standing next to this
secret comedian over here.
440
00:24:06,694 --> 00:24:10,448
Man, if I found humor attractive,
I would be all over you right now.
441
00:24:10,531 --> 00:24:11,991
Oh, well...
442
00:24:14,660 --> 00:24:17,705
Hey, so if you no longer feel guilty
for your mom's disappearance,
443
00:24:17,788 --> 00:24:19,081
why do you think
you hallucinated?
444
00:24:19,165 --> 00:24:21,250
- The rules feel a bit muddy.
- Muddy?
445
00:24:21,334 --> 00:24:24,420
Sorry I'm not a drunk
on the verge of losing custody,
446
00:24:24,504 --> 00:24:27,089
like every other woman
solving murders these days.
447
00:24:27,173 --> 00:24:30,676
Clearly I hallucinated
because I do still feel guilty.
448
00:24:32,511 --> 00:24:34,805
As annoying as I was,
in my heart,
449
00:24:34,889 --> 00:24:37,225
I know my mom
loves me too much to have left.
450
00:24:39,018 --> 00:24:42,230
It was my mystery solving
that caused her disappearance.
451
00:24:42,313 --> 00:24:44,774
But after catching Fred,
I'm back, baby.
452
00:24:44,857 --> 00:24:47,860
I'm gonna find my mom,
or die trying.
453
00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:54,325
That is one mystery
I don't want to solve. Right?
454
00:25:01,165 --> 00:25:03,668
Velma, you should see this.
455
00:25:07,964 --> 00:25:11,676
Oh, God! Krista!
And she also has no brain!
36706
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.