All language subtitles for The Gridiron 2016 1080p WEBRip x264 MP4-GeneMige

Well? How many recruits for
your business empire did you

get last night then, Rothschild?

None of your business.

None then I take it?

Quite a few actually.

Oh right. Just my mate knows
someone who lost a lot of money

getting involved in one of
those pyramid schemes.

It's not a bloody
pyramid scheme.

It's a genuine business
opportunity.

And if last night was anything
to go by I'm going to be

driving one of these soon.

Oh, you're so full of it I can
smell you from here.

Bog off you.

Alright lads that's enough,
back to work.

This is amazing.

It's all about American football
teams that are starting up

all over Britain.

I'd love to play.

There's a team starting
up in Manchester.

I might go along and try out,
see what happens.

Something else now is it?

What do you mean?

Some other idea that's going
to take over your life.

It's not like that.

That's exactly how it is.

Anyway how are you going
to get to Manchester?

You haven't even passed
your test and don't think

I am going to drive you thirty
or forty miles a week.

We haven't got the money for
petrol or train fares.

You don't understand...

No! It's you who
doesn't understand.

What about me? What about the
dreams we both used to share?

What's happened to us?

Nothing has happened to us.
Everything I do is for us.

No, Derek, everything
you do is for you

and I'm just about
fed up with it.

No more.

♪

How do you fancy playing
American Football?

Joking aren't you?

No, I'm dead serious.

There are teams starting
up all over the country.

Oh yeah, and I'll bet they are
crying out for long streaks

of piss like me with one
leg longer than the other.

Don't be daft, you could be the
holder or something.

Yeah brill, a poxy
holder, great.

Anyway, how could we get to a
team? Neither of us can drive.

I don't know, I just need
a mate to come with me.

Look, if there was a
team here like, local,

then yeah, yeah, maybe I would.

But I just haven't got the
time or got the money.

Not with the baby an everything.

Get in.

♪

Gerry.

Wait.

Proceed.

Ever thought about playing
American Football?

Why would I want to play that?

There are teams starting up
in Manchester and Stafford.

I fancy giving it a go,

wondered if you fancied
it, too, like...

Lads. Have you heard this?

Mister Universe here
thinks he's going to be

an American Footballer,
don't you?

Come on show us your muscles.

Ouch! Piss off you!
I was only asking.

Bunch of puffs, all
that padding...

and bloody helmets.

You shouldn't put yourself down.
You should play a tougher sport.

You know like... table tennis.

Alright, settle down.

Hut... hut... hut...

Work!

♪

Well? You going to tell me
what is up with you.

You've been like a dog with no
dick since you came in.

No one wants to play
American football.

And all they do is take
the piss out of me.

There is no way I can
get to training.

So yeah, I failed again.
Ha bloody ha!

Hey! Don't take it out
on me because people

have got more sense than you.

I told you to try and
pass your driving test.

How long have I been on at you?

I really want to do this Kym.

And I really want the bills
paying like you promised

and I really wanna
own a nice house.

Oh, and I really want
to start a family.

You see we all want
things, Derek.

But take a look around,
look how we live.

♪

If there was a team here like
local, then yeah, maybe I would,

but I haven't got the
time or got the money.

That's it!

I'm going to start my own team.

I'm going to start my
own team here in Crewe.

I won't need a car, I'll
be guaranteed to play.

Yeah, my own American
Football team.

♪

Ey up, Maggie.

Oh hi. I'll be with
you in a minute.

It's okay, I was
looking for Sharky.

Look. Why don't you just let
me get you a pint instead?

Hey, don't fret Maggie,
it's not what you think.

They're out back.
Be careful.

They've got a client
out there with them.

Fifty quid by weekend
or your car is mine.

Nod if you understand.

What was that for?

So he understands.

He just said that he
understands, now let him go,

you dozy get.

I could tell he was new,
a bit raw.

Come into the office.
Sit down.

Now then.

It's a fiver short.

I need to borrow some more.

You have to be kidding?
You never pay on time.

I'm always having to chase you
and you still owe me a fiver.

You've got no chance.

Come on Sharky,
it's what you do.

Lend money to desperate
people like me.

How much do you want?

Two hundred quid.

Alright. Fifty quid a month
for six months.

First payment in six weeks time
and I'll let you off the fiver.

Three hundred quid?

Do you want it or not?

What's up with you?

Oh, you on a promise
tonight or what?

No, mate.

I've decided to start my own
American Football team

here in Crewe.

What! You're bloody mad.

How many players you got?

Two.

No, no, no, no, no... No!

Oh come on, Sean.

You said yourself if there was a
team local you'd get involved.

And we'll make a
fortune as well.

How'd you work that out?

Just think about it.

American Football is going
to be huge over here.

People show up in the
thousands to watch.

We'd make a packet on
the gate receipts.

You said I'd make a bomb
being in your down stand

selling that cleaning stuff.

Down line, its called down line.

Oh yeah, that. I'm broke.

Look, there's a warehouse
out in Warrington

that has all the equipment.

Come with me and have a look.

That's all I'm asking.

You're such a pain in the arse.

I don't have money
for train fare.

I'll pay your fare.

Simple.
Just come with me.

Well, don't expect
me to buy anything.

I'm up to here with
your crazy ideas.

Oh yeah, just laugh, yeah.

It's going to be good,
it will work.

This must be it.

What's up with you?

A.F.U.K.
A fuck.

Hello boys. How are you? What
can we do for you today?

Oh, we're just starting up a
new American football team.

Thought we'd come and have a
look at prices, get an idea.

Yeah, yeah, okay, alright...
Come in, mate, yeah.

We've got everything in here
you are going to need

for American Football.
Absolutely everything.

These are all absolutely
brand new, okay?

Not a scratch on them.

You're going to need
one of these.

The stuff behind you here.
The stuff behind you...

Now these shoulder
pads are secondhand.

It's really good stuff.
It's secondhand, okay?

And in there we had a
delivery from the States.

You can look around in
there later if you like.

But everything here
is great for NFL.

You're not going to
want anything else.

So any questions you got,
either of you, just ask, okay?

- Alright.
- What team are you?

Crewe Railroaders.

I've never heard of you.

No, we're new!

Yeah well, we play for um...

- Manchester.
- Manchester.

That's why we know what
we're selling, you see.

We understand all the gear.
Let's try it out, come on.

There you go.
Let's get that on you.

Okay, so you're going to
get hurt in this game

if you don't understand what
to buy and how to wear it.

Okay? See, best possible
protection.

Now this is real good,
this is really good.

What position do
you normally play?

Um well, I don't really
have a position yet. Um...

Hey, hey, hey. Come back,
come back, come back.

Did that hurt? Did it hurt?

I nearly bloody shit myself.

It didn't hurt and
I'll tell you why.

Because these are the
best pads money can buy.

Come back, come back, come back.

Right, you're going to need
one of these, alright?

So when you put it on,
you pull this out so you

get it over your ears.

Same when you take it off,
alright? Try that on.

Hey! You're not hitting
me with that again.

No, no. Chill out,
it's fine.

Hey! No, no!

You are so chicken.
Come here.

No, we can't touch these, mate,
because these are an order.

We can't touch them
they are brand new.

- Okay?
- Okay.

So chill out, chill out.
It's fine.

What do you wanna do?
What do you think?

What do you think?

You look a right dickhead.

Bollocks you, I bet I
look bloody brilliant.

No, really you look
like a dickhead.

I'll take them.

Cool. Into the office, mate.

- You've got a deal.
- Let's go.

♪

Kym? Close your eyes love.

Are they closed?

They're closed!
What are you up to now?

Right. Open them.

You bloody dickhead.

Where did you get that lot from?

Where did the money
come from Derek?

It's alright,
don't worry about it.

No, it's not alright and don't
you dare tell me not to worry.

I knew this would
happen I just knew.

I'm sorry, love.

I know you think this is
one of my stupid ideas.

But this sport is going to
be huge in this country.

Sky's the limit if
this thing takes off.

But just say no and I'll quit.

You're more important.

Please, Kym.

Just promise me no more spending
and I mean no more.

No more spending, promise.

You've promised before.

Not like this, I'm begging you.

Don't beg. You're pathetic
enough as it is.

Oh, just bloody do it. You're
going to do it anyway.

Really? Are you being honest?

Thank you, love.

I love you. Hey, you're
not gonna regret this.

Oh, I'm sure I will.

And stop nicking flowers
from the park.

♪

Alright, love, I'm off.

I know. I look a dickhead.

Just go.

Shut up, you.

♪

What time is it?

Am I late?

Are you late?

Go on, go on.

Wanker!

I'm sure that wasn't
aimed at you, mate.

♪

Isn't many people.

At least there's some, mate.
At least there's some.

♪

Good Morning.

Thanks for all turning up.

My name is Derek and
I am the, uh...

Well, head coach I guess.

This is Sean, my assistant.

I'll just get your names.

Golightly

Oakesy.

Sean.

Mozzer.

Lloyd.

Sinny.

I'm Crank.

I'm sorry, coach.

I'm Cadillac, this is Jenny.

Alright, boss. I'm Eddie and I
just wanna shag Cheerleaders!

It's alright, I'm only kidding.

No, I was just wondering if
you wanted a team physio?

Cause I'm with the Saint
John's Ambulance and uh...

If anybody gets injured I
can help out like, boss.

Wow yeah, that would be
great, Eddie. Thanks.

Also I thought maybe I could
referee a bit, only in practice.

Because I watch it on the telly.

You know, just to help
out generally, boss.

Ace, what can I say.

Oy! This is our pitch.

But we were here first, what's
wrong with the other pitches?

This is our pitch I said.

Why don't you take you and your
friends and piss off?

Do you want me take
care of 'em, boss?

Before things get nasty.

No, no, it's easier
if we just move on.

Piss off to the U.S. if you are
going to play this kind of game.

You bunch of pufters.

Go on! Go on, tossers!

Go on! Go on, piss off!

Right, sorry about that.

Okay, I'm assuming you
all understand the basic

principles of the game?

Okay, well let's start
practicing where it all begins.

The snap.

So first of all I need a Center.

Mozzer, yeah? Yeah, come on.
You'll do. Come here.

Right, so I'm going to be the
Quarterback, you're the Center.

You have to snap the
ball into my hands.

Basically ram it up your
arse in one swift movement.

That's about the jist of it.
I'll do the rest.

Alright.

Hey, you're not a bender,
are you?

No, I'm not. This what they do
at the start of each play.

Yeah?

Woah! That's too weird, mate.

You touched my bollocks,
mate, no way.

What are you some
bender or what?

I think uh...

We ought to get to know
each other a bit better

before we do that again.

Here you are, Coach.
Jenny will do it for you.

- Oh yes!
- Shut up, you.

I think we should
split into two teams

and have a game of
four on four, yeah?

- Alright.
- Alright.

One, two, three, break!

Come on.

Ready... Hut!

Yes, Coach!

- Yes!
- Come on!

Shit!

Eddie! Eddie, get here now!

Okay, okay, stand back, stand
back! Let me have a look.

Stand back, back, back!

Come on, men.
Look, look, look.

Do you know what you are doing?

There you go! Alright, son.

Hey, come on, son.
Up you get.

There we go. Come on.

How heavy are you?
Bloody hell.

It's alright, boss,
I've got him. Oops.

Come on, son. Over here.

You alright? You alright, son?

Okay, everybody,
listen up please.

Go ahead, Coach.

Thanks, Sean.

Well that wasn't quite how I
wanted to end today's session.

But I hope you have all enjoyed
what was really just a try out.

We'll meet again
next week, same time.

If you know anyone else who's
interested bring them along.

And it might be a good idea
to find yourselves motorcycle

helmets or something, just so
we can stop having any more

accidents like today.

Alright well, see you next week.

- Cheers, coach.
- Thanks a lot.

See you later.

Well, what do you think?

Yeah, I really enjoyed
myself actually.

Yeah, you look like you
knew what you were doing

most of the time.
Most of the time.

Coach.

We did it!

Hey! You're not coming in here
in that stinky, smelly outfit.

Alright, alright.

Hey love, guess what?
You're looking at Coach Simmons.

Out.

Hey listen love,
it went really well.

Apart from the bit when
they thought I was a puff,

but I think this
is going to work.

Take those smelly clothes off
before you come in here.

And don't think I'm washing
them... Coach Simmons.

Alright, Mavis.
Go on, show's over.

That's it, lads, well done.

Hey, good hands, Jenny.

Lads, she's showing you up.

That's it, keep it up.
Eyes open, that's it.

Good, Mozzer.

Come on, lads, listen to Coach.

Right, everyone.
Gather around, gather around.

We've got five new lads.

Yeah, big lads as well.
Brilliant.

Right. It's good to see you all
again, fantastic. Right then!

I thought I made it clear that
this is our pitch.

But you used that pitch over
there last week.

Yeah, but we want to play
on this pitch now get lost.

Let me have a go at him, boss.

No, Eddie, it's not worth it.

Come on. Let's just move on.

We're on the wrong pitch again.
Come on, off you go, follow me.

Go on. Get lost you pufter.
Come on.

Get lost.

Go on. Get lost,
you pansy pussy.

We're gonna sprint
to the 18-yard box.

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

It's alright, Mozzer.

Go on lads take a breather,
take a breather, well done.

Right, that's it for this week.

Go and get yourselves home.
Get your feet up.

You did well!

See you later. See ya.

Coach, can I just
have a quick word?

Course you can, Oaksey,
what is it?

Angie.

- Hi.
- Hello.

This is my girlfriend Angela.

She wants to ask you if you want
to form a group of Cheerleaders.

- Yeah!
- Cheerleaders?

Yeah, I know a few girls
who want to do it.

And I'm a dancer so I can
do all the choreography.

I just wondered if you wanted
anything like that.

- Absolutely!
- Yeah?

Well, of course I do, yeah!
Thank you very much.

The girls will be dead chuffed.

Cool. Cheers, Coach.

- Thanks, Derek.
- Thank you. Cheers.

Hey, I could of done that. Why
didn't you say something?

What, you be a cheerleader?
I don't think so.

You fancy her, don't you?

You do, you bloody fancy her.

What are you on about, Jen?

I just saw you, you were
looking at her.

You've been checking
the lads out all day.

No, I haven't. You were
like staring at her.

But it's Oaksey's misses.

And?

Well he's my mate, isn't he?

But you were looking at her,
just makes me feel...

There's no harm in
looking, is there?

Well there is actually.

Oh listen if you're going
to get jealous like that,

why don't you just do one, eh?

- Go on.
- Is that how you feel?

Is that how you feel?

You going to carry on or
we going back to ours?

- I do everything for you.
- Right, what do you do for me?

I come and watch these matches.

Well you don't have to.
I don't ask you to, do I?

Oh, just go and do one, Jen.
I can't be arsed.

Just piss off, will you!

No, you piss off. You know what?
I've had it.

Yeah? Alright.
See you later. Yeah, bye.

Yeah, alright.

Well, mate. We've been in
existence for eight days.

The team is taking shape.

And now Cheerleaders. I think
this thing might just take off.

What we really need
is an American Coach.

Someone with some real
experience, you know?

I can only take this so far.

It's starting to
take shape, mate.

- Starting to take shape, it is.
- Yeah?

Where are we going to find
an American in Crewe?

What was that for?

For letting me start the
Railroaders?

Is that why?

I thought that
maybe you loved me?

I do! You know I do.

Kym, I've managed to sell
all my cleaning stock

back to the sponsor.

I'm not going to waste
any more money on that.

And all the money is going
to go back in the Bank.

Good.

You really are beginning to
make more of an effort.

I'm still nervous though.

What about love?

I'm still waiting for another
one of your hairbrained schemes.

There won't be one.

The Railroaders is all
I care about now.

Oh, and you of course!

Well just you make sure that
money goes into the bank.

Of course.

♪

Your pitch?

Come on, lads, move along.

That's it for today guys.
Great session, great session.

Right, go and rest up and
we'll see you next week.

- Alright.
- Alright.

Toodle-loo. Take care. Alright.

Good work, boys.
Cheers, coach.

Cheers, cheers.

Should be enough for a couple
more helmets and pads.

You sure? I thought you
had money problems.

No, yeah, it's fine.

I managed to sell all my
stock back to the sponsor.

Well with this money and all the
subs we have collected so far,

we probably got enough for
six sets of shoulder pads

and four helmets for next week.

Magic.

♪

Debbie, look at my ring.

Oh, beautiful!

Are we having a good
time boys and girls?

Alright, let's hear it
for Angie and Oaksey.

♪

I thought you said you paid
Sharky this month.

What do you mean?

You know damn well what I mean.

You've been crapping yourself
every time that door opens.

That obvious?

She's hardly likely to
start anything here, is she?

Not with this lot about.

Same again?

♪

Who's this?

Jenny, I told you we're over.

Yeah, he's with me now,
so just go.

You little cow!

Well, well, look who it is.
The elusive Mister Simmons.

Hi, Sharky.

Don't bloody hi Sharky me.
Fifty quid now.

I haven't got it.

We have a problem then
don't we, son.

Oh please, Sharky. That's
all I've got in the world.

I'm going to call this your
interest payment for being late.

You still owe me
three hundred quid.

Oh, come off it, Sharky.

Fifty quid in two weeks time.

Fifty quid.

Stop hitting people, will you?

I hope you like it.

Well?

Look! I got one for myself.

So we can wear them
at the same time.

How brill is that?

Don't know why I
got my hopes up.

Why did I think this year
would be different?

Thanks, love.
It's gorgeous.

Just like its owner.

Hey. Do you fancy going
back to bed for a bit?

You never know. There might
be another present

up there for you.

Oh, I suppose we can
spare two minutes

before we go to your mum's.

Happy Birthday, Kym.

Thanks.

It's um, it's...
It's lovely.

When I saw it I thought of you.
I knew you'd like it.

So how's work going?

Oh Mum, you know I hate work,
why do you always ask me?

No backbone,
that's your problem.

Always after an easy life.

I'm not after an easy life.

There's just more to
life than bloody Royce's.

There's no need to swear

and Rolls-Royce has done
your father no harm.

Sorry, Mum. Anyway, I shouldn't
have to be there much longer,

because my team I'm doing...

The only way you will
be leaving Royce's

is if you win the pools or die.

But why? I thought your picture
framing business was doing well.

Mum, that was ages ago. I
told you it didn't work out.

I needed a shop really for that
to work. But anyway I'm...

Always an excuse,
isn't there, ey?

Always somebody else's fault.

Never stick at anything for
longer than ten minutes.

I thought it was doing well?

Well if someone will give me
a chance I'll tell you.

Anyway, what's for
after's, Petal?

Trifle. What were
you going to say?

Nothing. It doesn't matter.

The trifle's more
important obviously.

Anyway, happy birthday, Kym.
Alright?

If it doesn't fit, you can
always take it back, alright?

Well I don't know about anybody
else, but I'm going to have

some of this trifle.

Looks like this is
our pitch today.

Right, we've got a couple
of new faces,

so let's see some
welcome tackles.

Don't worry, lads,
we'll go easy.

Right, let's warm up. One lap
around the pitch. Off we go.

Oh!

Sorry Boss.

What the...

Can I have a word like?

Quickly.

Well this American guy just
moved in the street across us.

Really?

Yeah, yeah. Well it's our
neighbor, you see.

She's a school teacher
like and she's doing this

like exchange with
an American couple.

Have you met him yet?

Yeah, it's his Mrs., you know,
that does the teaching so

he's got nothing to do and um...

He said he'd love to help
out, and I don't know...

maybe be a Coach or something.

When can I meet him?

Uh, well I'll talk to him
tonight and let you know, yeah?

Uh, coach!

Does this mean, you know, that
I've got position of Center?

We'll have to see
how you do today,

won't we, Mozzer? Come on.

Here we are, son. Let me have
a look, let me have a look.

Come here, come here.

Which one is it? Which one?
Is it this one?

- Get off me. Leave me alone.
- What?

- Come back here.
- Woo hoo, Derek!

Oh, hello.

Hi!

Hi. Hi, Boys.

- Hiya, Derek.
- Hello.

Hi! Oops, I mean...
Coach.

Got a minute just to have a
look at our first routine?

- Yeah, of course.
- Yeah?

- What, now?
- Yeah.

- Alright, yeah.
- Yeah, cool.

Come on, girls! Come on.

Concentrate.

Just remember we've only been
practicing a short while.

- Alright?
- Not many of you.

Yeah, there will be
more on the day.

Okay.

Ready? Five, six,
seven, eight.

U.L.G.Y. you ain't
got no alibi.

Cause you ugly! Yeah, yeah,
cause you ugly! Yeah, yeah!

U.L.G.Y. you ain't
got no alibi.

Cause you ugly! Yeah, yeah,
cause you ugly! Yeah, yeah!

Cause you ugly, yeah, yeah!

Debbie! Debbie!
Yeah, yeah!

Debbie!

Put that fag out.

What do you think?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Oh, just one thing. Ugly
is U.G.L.Y not U.L.G.Y.

Yeah, that's what we said.

Right. Keep it up.

Debbie, put the fag out.

Yo! What up, dog?

Hello James, you alright?

This is Derek I was
telling you about.

Come on. Take a seat,
guys. Take a seat.

Hey! Thanks for
inviting us over.

I can't tell you how excited
we are and what a boost

this will be for the team.

I told him what you
said like and um...

That you might be interested
in coaching the team.

When I heard you guys were
playing, man, I bugged out.

Listen, I'll help out
in any way I can.

Ace. So you played
at college then?

No, I like to work out,
but you couldn't pay me

to play no football.

Oh okay, so you just coached?

No, no, no, never coached.

So you don't know anything
about coaching?

Listen man, if you went
to the States right,

you would know more about soccer
than anybody over there,

even though you have never
been a coach. You feel me?

Well, I know Football.
Grew up with it, dog.

I suppose you got a point.

And I was the equipment
manager for the basketball team

when I was in college.

Watched those cats do all sorts
of drills and exercises.

Same thing in football, just
need to change a few things.

Just call me crazy.

Okay, okay, but as far as
the team is concerned

you are a real American
Football coach.

A good one, the best.

We're lucky to have you,
you know what I mean?

Yeah, man, I won't say
anything like, you know.

I'm cool.

If they think you're
the real deal,

they'll do anything you say.

Woo! This is going
to be awesome.

Listen, I'm gonna grab you
cats a couple of beers and

might as well get started on the
game plan like immediately.

Yes!

It gives me great pleasure to
introduce to you...

Your new Head Coach,
James Dupont.

Oy! This here is my pitch

Hey, yo, what's a pitch?

Uh, a playing field.

This used to be your
pitch, asshole.

No, no. You don't understand.
This here is my pitch.

No, dog. I don't
think you understand.

Now you got ten seconds to
get your fat ass outta here

or my dogs are going to use you
as tackle dummies. You feel me?

Tossers. You're all tossers.

You're all talk.
We can't hear you.

Tossers. You're all tossers.

Yeah, yeah, come on!

Right, I think that's the last
we'll be hearing from them.

- Yeah! Yeah!
- Great shot.

Assholes.

Alright, guys, listen up. Even
on a beautiful day like today,

it's very important that
we warm up first.

So let's get started with twenty
star jumps. Ready? Go!

One, two, three, four...

Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop!
We need to work on that.

Now as your coach I would
never ask you to do anything

that I cannot do myself.

This exercise is called
The Killer. Watch.

Now in a game, you're gonna
get knocked down.

You might even get
blindsided, maybe tripped.

This drill gets you used
to getting back up.

So when I say 'hit it, '
you hit it.

Hit it!

Hit it!

That my friends is a Killer.

Now when I say 'break down, '
you break down.

And when I say 'hit it, '
you hit it.

Ready? Break down.

Hit it.

Hit it.

Hit it.

Hit it.

Get up, I haven't even
started with you guys yet.

I said get up!

Let's keep moving, let's
keep moving. Let's go!

Let's split into four equal
teams. Let's go!

I'm alright. Eddie, I'm fine.

I've got to go with the lads.
Eddie get off me.

I'm dead. Yup, I'm dead.

You guys are looking good,
I'm proud of you.

I'm proud of you guys.
Come on.

Alright, alright!
Good job, guys, good job!

Alright, we're gonna get it
together though. Come on, baby.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Get up, get up, get up!
Go! Come on!

Let's move. Keep moving.
Keep it moving.

Break down!

Watch the ball, watch the ball.

Well done, boys.

He's going to kill us,
you know that, don't you.

Listen, what I want is all
you guys in two long lines

about a yard apart.

Okay? Let's move, let's move.

Alright, you heard him.
Come on.

♪

I said up.

Up, one.

♪

Railroaders on three.
One, two, three. Railroaders!

Great job. Alright, guys,
take a knee for a second.

You guys are pretty tired, huh?

Feel pretty bad?

Yo, listen.

If we wanna play this
game seriously

we got a lot of work
to do, guys.

First thing we got to
do is get in shape.

I was kinda tough on
you guys today,

but you did good.
It's good stuff man.

- That a way, coach.
- Cheers, coach.

Thanks, Coach.

That was unbelievable.

I don't think any of
us are going to

be able to walk tomorrow,
but thanks all the same.

Right. Now you know how
serious we are. Yeah?

I'll see all you cool
guys next week.

Alright, can we get...

Coach James, Coach James,
Coach James...

♪

Okay, guys, down to your right.

Oy!

I thought I told you a hundred
times this is my garden.

Yo, follow me.

♪

Everybody in one line.

Now in a few seconds when I
shout hut! My dawgs...

are going to bury your punk
ass into the ground.

So I suggest you find
another pitch because

we gonna use all these.

We ain't got all day, man.

You got about ten seconds
to make up your mind.

Ten... Nine...

Eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two...

On one. Ready?

Ready!

- Ready?
- Ready!

Down... Set... Hut!

Buggers!

I'm gonna friggin' get you
for this. You're dead.

Nope, still alive.

It's Railroader time, baby!
It's Railroader time!

That's what I'm talking about!

Afternoon love, is he in?

No, he's not and I'm
not just saying that.

Well can you tell him that
unless he gets fifty quid

to me by midnight, I'm going
to have to take some action.

Do you understand?

No, I bloody don't understand.

Don't you dare start
threatening me.

I know who you are.
You don't frighten me.

Well, let me enlighten you.
Your husband borrowed money

off me and now I'm
here to collect or

laddo here gets very angry.

Well I can tell you now,
he hasn't got a penny,

not until Thursday
when he gets paid.

Thursday, you say?

Look I'll make sure he
gets fifty quid to you

by Thursday evening.

That's if he's still alive
after I've finished with him.

He's a very lucky man.

For your sake I'll wait till
Thursday then, fifty quid.

What did you do that for?

So she understands.

Of course she understands,
she said fifty quid.

I'm sorry, love.
I'll get you another one.

Bastard!

Hiya, love.
Sorry I'm a bit late.

You liar. I thought you had
changed. How stupid am I?

Ey? What's the matter?

I had a visit from Sharky
this afternoon while you

were out playing
with your mates.

What? She came here.

Is that where you got the
money from for your kit?

Yeah, it was but...
I was meant to pay her back.

Oh come on, Kym.

Let's just get through the
next few weeks and...

I can't believe she came here.

I'm pregnant.

Pregnant?

You know how much I've wanted a
baby, but not like this.

Not when we are in this state.

Hey, this is supposed to be
the most happiest moment

of our lives.

How can I be happy when
you just won't change?

I will change.

I hope so Derek for
our baby's sake.

Oh my God.
I'm going to be a Dad.

I know. That's what
frightens me.

Derek.

Hey up dawgs! The bonus
has come in this week.

Well if it isn't my laddo.

Fancy meeting you here
like this on Pay Day.

Wages now.

Oh come on, Sharky.
You can't take all my wages.

My wife is pregnant.
I need to buy stuff.

Well it's lucky for you
that I like your wife,

so I'm only taking
what I am owed.

Two weeks time another fifty
quid. You understand?

And here, make sure
your wife gets this.

Well, well, well, helmet cheese.

Come here.

You're dead.

I'm really sorry, love.
It was Sharky.

She jumped me and took my wages.

I told her I would get fifty
quid to her by tonight.

You know I've a good mind
to call the Police

and report that bitch.

No, no, no, that would
just make things worse.

My mess, I'll sort it.

What's all that about?

Don't ask.

Five, six, seven, eight,

Let's go Railroaders,
let's go Railroaders,

let's go Railroaders!

Five, six, seven, eight,

C.R.E.W.E. Railroaders!
Railroaders!

Rail.. roaders! Woo!

What to you think, Coach?

Magic, that Angie, yeah.
You've come on leaps and bounds.

Do you mean that?

Absolutely, yeah and
there's more of you.

Yeah, I auditioned more.

- Fantastic.
- Thanks, Derek

Well done, keep it up.

Get another helmet and
set of pads with that.

Where's this come from?

I got a bonus at work this week.

It's okay, Kym knows.

- We better keep an eye on him.
- Huh?

Alright guys, show is over.
Stop looking at them skirts.

Let's get back to work.

If he starts getting shifty,
give Eddie a shout or something.

Okay, guys, listen up.

Today is the last day to fight
for the position you want.

We are going to play Offense
verses Defense in game situation

and go out there like a
bunch of crazed dogs.

Here are the starting line ups.

Take a look and
get into positions.

Cadillac, come on.

Sorry Coach.

Hey guys, check this out.

- What are you doing?
- Where'd you get that from?

It's not real, you pillocks,
it's just a pellet gun.

- Cover me though, yeah?
- Yeah, okay.

Ready? Break!

Down... Set...

Ow!

Oh, you don't want
a penalty, boys.

Hey, hey, hey, what is wrong
with you guys today?

What's up, Coach?

What do you mean, what's up?

Do I look like Stevie Wonder?
I can see the gun.

It's just a joke, Coach.
Christ.

It wasn't funny. I ought
to shoot you in the ass.

Get back in the huddle.

We still get the five yards?

In the huddle.

♪

Quiet.

I can't believe your
attitudes out here today.

Do you think this is
some sort of joke?

Do you think I'm here to
watch you guys jerk around?

If this is just a big joke
to you guys, I'm gone.

- No, coach, coach!
- Nah, I'm done.

Look guys, this attitude is
really starting to piss me off.

You've got to start
taking this seriously.

I thought we had something here.

I thought we all wanted
to play American Football

on a National scale.

From this point on, this becomes
serious or not at all.

Right, everybody in.

Sean, come on.
Cheerleaders.

One, two, three!

Railroaders!

♪

Was that the post?

Yeah, yeah, just a letter
from the UKAFA fixtures

of who we are
playing this season.

Nothing important then.

Right, better go.

See you later then.

Right, lads. Thanks for
coming at such short notice,

but let me tell you
it's good news.

I have here the
official schedule.

Our season begins
away at Hereford.

But you want to know something
really interesting?

I got a phone call from the
Leamington Royals,

they want to play a pre-season
game here in Crewe.

We've got four weeks
before our first game.

Yes, this is it,
Sean, this is it.

Derek. These cats
ain't ready, man.

They might think they are ready,
but they are not even close.

Four weeks ain't enough.

What do you know? You're
not even a real coach.

What the hell is wrong
with you man?

I don't have to be a real
coach to understand that

these cats ain't ready.

What's gotten into you, man?

I'll tell you what's
gotten into me.

In four weeks time,
good or bad, win or lose,

do or die, we play our first
game and that's final.

Oh, watch out.
Oh, sorry.

Have I missed something?

Yeah, your boy's tripping.

Little bit of an atmosphere.

Okay, Mister Stanyer is
ready to see you now.

You're not making
any sense whatsoever.

The Cumberland Sports
ground would be ideal.

As I mentioned before
the only place available

that matches your criteria are
the Middlewich playing fields.

But we are the Crewe
Railroaders,

not the Middlewich Railroaders.

I'm sorry, but that's all I can
offer you at such short notice.

But look, the Cumberland Sports
ground is free that weekend.

Why can't you just let use it?
We are expecting a big crowd.

The Cumberland Athletic Track is
the pride and joy of the county.

You can't seriously be
suggesting that we turn over

our flagship facility
for you to churn up.

So you would rather let it stand
empty than let us use it.

Is that what you are saying?

The offer of Middlewich
still stands.

I am trying my best to
accommodate you.

No. You are treating this
sport like everybody else.

Like we are some
kind of freak show.

Well, it's not the last
you have heard of this.

I'm writing to my M.P.

She'll appreciate what
we're doing for Crewe.

We are going to be representing
this town up and down

the country and you are
not even helping us.

I've done all I can.

Well we'll see about that.

That's it, guys.
Come on, take a knee.

Deep breaths.

How we feeling?

- Good.
- Good.

So this is it, guys.

The next time you put
on your helmets,

you will be playing
your first game.

Listen up, everybody.
I picked up the jerseys.

We've got some kit. Yeah!

Right, lads, bring it in.

One, two, three...
Railroaders!

Any news on the ground?

No, I'm going to have to
go into the council and

suck up one last time.

- Look man, just cancel the game.
- I can't.

Come on, dawg. We don't
have a place to play,

the team ain't ready
and I'm telling you

somebody is gonna get hurt, man.

No, this game goes ahead.
I need this game to go ahead.

This is not about
you anymore, man.

This is about the team,
what's best for the team.

No, it is about me.

This was my idea,
this is my team.

I stand to lose everything
because of it

and I mean everything.

So I say we play Sunday.

Oh, for God's sake. What now?

This has got to stop. I'm
not in the mood for this.

You wanna fight? Let's fight.

Come on, I'm fucking ready.
I'm fucking ready.

I want to play.

You want to play?

Yeah.

Sean! We need a new jersey.

Alright, alright.

Kym, what's all this?
What's going on?

I've had enough of your lies.

What do you mean?

This fell out of your jacket
when I was putting it away.

When were you going to tell me?

Unless we come up with
the money by next Monday

then we would lose the house.

Is that still the situation?

I'm not stupid, Derek. I know
where that money's gone.

On that fucking football team.

No, please, Kym. We've got
our first game next Sunday,

the gate receipts will
pay off all our debts.

It will all have been worth it.
We're not lose the house.

Yeah? Look at me, look at me.
We're not gonna lose the house.

Just please don't leave me.

Oh, I wasn't leaving,
that's full of your clothes.

This house obviously
means nothing to you.

Sort this mess out or
I'm throwing you out.

I mean it, Derek.

Two hundred quid?

You want me to loan you
another two hundred quid?

Well you got some balls,
I'll give you that.

Ain't he? Got some balls like?

Yes, balls!

Please, Sharky,
I'm in big trouble.

You are in big trouble, my lad.
With me. You owe me...

Ooh, let's see... two
hundred and fifty quid.

Bit too fruity that, let him go.

Look, I'll be able to
give you some of it back

on Sunday out of
the gate receipts.

Really? Well how
does this sound?

We'll see you Sunday to collect
two hundred and fifty quid.

And no, you can't have another
two hundred you cheeky sod.

I can't make Sunday. It's
my mother's birthday.

Your mothers birthday?

Do you know what, I can't
run a business like this.

You're sacked. I'll bloody
well go myself.

Sunday. Two hundred and
fifty quid or else.

Daisy!

Ey up, toss pot.

I, uh... I hate to ask,
but don't suppose you can

lend me two hundred quid?

Very funny.

What do you want?

I'm serious, Gerry,
I need two hundred quid.

Oh, mate, I haven't got it.

Alright. I'd just
thought I'd ask.

I mean, yeah,
of course I've got it,

I'm just not giving it to you.

♪

That's the situation,
including this weeks wages

I need one hundred
and sixty quid or

else they will kick
us out of the house.

Why am I not surprised?

Answer me this. Did you spend
your money on the football team?

I told you, I bloody
well told you.

Alright look. I get the picture,
I'm useless, pathetic,

I've heard it all before.

All I want to know
is will you lend me

one hundred and sixty quid?

What? He'll only go and do
it all again won't he?

Oh, forget it.

I knew it was a waste
of time coming here,

don't know why I bothered.

Hey! That's right, it's
all our fault, isn't it?

There's always somebody
else to blame but yourself.

Derek wait.

Mum, thank you. I'll give
it you back on Monday

after we have
play the game, yeah?

You just make sure you use
it to pay off the arrears

and don't tell your Dad.

Oh, hello. Could I speak
to the head of sports

and recreation please?

Hello.

Yeah, speaking.

Mhm.

Oh, yeah.

Really?

Right, okay.

Yeah, that's amazing.

Thank you.

Half and hour? Yeah, I can
be there in half an hour.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you
very much. Alright, see you.

Yes! Yes!

What's up with you?

We've got the Cumberland Sports
ground to play our games at.

Oh, love, things are
looking up for us.

Oh, did you call in sick for me?

Yes.

Great. I'll pay this in then.

Well it seems the plight of
your team had quite an impact

on a certain Member
of Parliament.

Therefore after much
deliberation, we, the council,

have decided that the Cumberland
Athletic track will be

made available to
you this Sunday.

Of course there will be a
nominal hire charge,

but we have reduced the fee to
one hundred and forty pounds.

A hundred and forty pounds?

Yes. Yes, it would normally
be two hundred pounds.

Oh, and we need that now so we
can get everything moving.

Shit.

I'll just get you
a receipt then.

Are you okay?

There we are.

No, no, sorry can't do it,
can't do it. I need the money.

Look can we please pay you
out of the gate receipts?

I'm sorry, you can't
charge the public

for admission into the game.

Our public liability insurance
doesn't cover American Football.

We can't charge admission?

No.

We need to charge admission.
You don't understand.

Well, I'm sorry. You can't.

I'll give you seven days.

Seven days to pay
after the game.

That's the best I can do.

Thank you.

♪

So the money you've been giving
me for pads and helmets

should have been paying
off your bills off?

I thought we'd get it all
back from the gate receipts.

I've been an idiot, mate.

So we definitely can't
charge admission?

Nope. And now I owe my mum
hundred and sixty quid,

Sharky two hundred and fifty.

I've not made any payments on
the bloody phone for months

and they are about to cut
the electricity off.

God what a mess.

Does Kym know all this?

But you paid your
rent arrears off.

Yeah. At least that's
safe for the time being.

I'll tell Kym after the game on
Sunday about everything else.

♪

Why was no one taking
money at the gate?

Don't worry, love, I'm sure
it's all been taken care of.

He's forgotten to organize,
ain't he? Wouldn't surprise me.

You know what he's like.

Hey, hey, hey, calm down,
calm down, calm down.

Listen up. Hey, hey! Listen up.

I was just talking to the refs
and we got major problems.

Oooh!

Come on, Jenny, out.

Alright, chill, chill, chill.
Everybody chill out.

Check it out. Everybody must
have a mouth piece.

You will not be allowed to
play unless you have one.

If you don't have one,
raise your hand.

You guys are going to have to
share with each other man.

Hey, hey, hey! Don't
quit on me now.

It's that or you don't play,
what do you want to do?

Play.

Well then find some dog to
share your mouth piece with.

Hey Danny, Danny!

Want to share with me like?

Five, six, seven, eight...

Wait, you!

Derek, why is no one
collecting money?

Sorry, love, I'll
tell you later.

James, I need to apologize.

You're a great coach
and we couldn't have

done it without you.

No worries. It's been a blast,
man. Just hope nobody gets hurt.

I still don't think
these dudes are ready.

You're probably right.

Come on, dog, we've
got a game to play.

Alright.

Alright, baby, it's game time,
it's game time!

Railroaders on three.
One, two, three.

Railroaders!

Railroaders!

- Ready!
- Ready!

Break!

Down... set... hut!

♪

We're getting murdered Coach.

Hey, hey, hey.
Lift your heads up.

You got nothing to be
down about. Alright?

Let's go back out there
and have some fun.

Today is all about
learning the game.

Come on, man. What happened
to my crazed dawgs?

Alright, listen up. They're
keying in on Oaksey, alright?

They are over pursuing.

Let's try the reverse
we worked on.

- The reverse?
- The reverse.

It's going to be wide open,
nobody is over there.

Just tuck the ball away
and you've got it.

- Alright?
- Okay.

Enthusiasm, guys, enthusiasm.
Come on, bring it in.

Bring it in, let's go.

One, two, three.

Railroaders!

♪

♪

Derek!

♪

Come in, love.
I'm just about finished.

I'll be back in a minute
with them tablets.

Sean's here. He wanted you to
know that you lost 50-13.

Love, that's not important.

Look, Kym, need to talk.
I need to tell you something.

I know you don't think so, but I
love you and I'm so sorry, but...

Ah, there you go.

These will ease the pain a bit.

Oh dear, the sooner we get
you get home the better.

That's it. He's ready to go now.

I really need to tell you...

Not now, love. There's something
you need to see first.

Come on.

Sean told me what an
asshole you've been.

Funding the team,
neglecting your family.

That's not cool, man.
Not cool at all.

So we took up a collection
after the game.

These dawgs really appreciate
you putting everything

on the line for them.

There's enough there to
cover most of your debt

and pay for the ground fees.

Don't do it again. You hear me?

- Wow!
- I'll look after that.

Wow! I don't know what to say.

Well, I know we lost.

And I've broke my bloody arm.

But today has turned out
pretty special for me.

You guys are family and I thank
you from the bottom of my heart.

Ahead of us is the first
season of American Football

on these shores.

And I can't wait to step
out there with you.

But I need to spend some time
with someone I've been

neglecting far too long.

Hey, don't think you are off the
hook that easily, Simmons.

We've got a lot to talk about.

Alright you crazy dawgs,
bring it in.

Everybody, come on!

Railroaders on three.

One, two, three...

Railroaders!

♪