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1
00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:03,337
And the squeak, squeak, squeak
of Dan's flossing
2
00:00:03,338 --> 00:00:06,209
with his pinky in the air...
Ugh.
3
00:00:06,210 --> 00:00:08,413
...makes me want him
to hit an artery
4
00:00:08,414 --> 00:00:12,188
and just float away on a pool of his own blood...
Mm-hmm.
5
00:00:12,189 --> 00:00:14,359
...the floss dangling
from his teeth.
6
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,363
Mm. When Diana
would drink water,
7
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:18,166
which was the only thing that
she actually liked in life...
8
00:00:18,167 --> 00:00:21,373
[CHUCKLES] Oh... she would drink and then
she would smack her lips--
9
00:00:21,374 --> 00:00:22,643
[SMACKS LIPS]
No.
10
00:00:22,644 --> 00:00:24,512
And then go, "Oh, wow,
that's refreshing,"
11
00:00:24,513 --> 00:00:26,282
as if it's news
that water's refreshing.
12
00:00:26,283 --> 00:00:28,053
I wanted to rip her lips
off her face.
13
00:00:28,054 --> 00:00:29,155
Yes.
14
00:00:29,156 --> 00:00:30,524
I mean, I do miss it, but...
15
00:00:30,525 --> 00:00:32,996
I'll tell you what-- what
really makes me quite violent
16
00:00:32,997 --> 00:00:34,465
is when Henry plays the guitar,
17
00:00:34,466 --> 00:00:35,902
he makes--
I don't even know what.
18
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,305
It's like the most earnest face.
19
00:00:37,306 --> 00:00:39,008
It's like--
It's like... mmm.
20
00:00:39,009 --> 00:00:40,779
I don't even know what it is.
Oh, don't do that. Don't do that.
21
00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:43,250
But what I want to do is I want
to punch him in that face
22
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,552
and then I want
to punch him again
23
00:00:44,553 --> 00:00:46,289
and then I want to
just flick him
24
00:00:46,290 --> 00:00:47,959
as, like, the final insult.
25
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,663
Hey, guys.
Hey, boo.
26
00:00:49,664 --> 00:00:53,537
I am gonna go make
some of my famous gazpacho.
27
00:00:53,538 --> 00:00:54,139
Ooh.
28
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:55,175
Yeah.
29
00:00:56,077 --> 00:00:59,549
I don't know how you stay married to him.
I wanna rip my ears off my head.
30
00:00:59,550 --> 00:01:00,886
Why?
31
00:01:01,988 --> 00:01:03,557
Oh.
32
00:01:03,558 --> 00:01:05,294
Well, not everyone
likes a cold soup.
33
00:01:05,295 --> 00:01:07,699
I get it.
It's not for everyone.
34
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:10,805
[♪♪♪]
35
00:01:10,806 --> 00:01:12,008
♪ Hey! ♪
36
00:01:12,009 --> 00:01:15,749
[♪♪♪]
37
00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:18,721
[MUMBLING]
38
00:01:18,722 --> 00:01:20,726
[GROANS]
39
00:01:21,527 --> 00:01:24,065
BEN: Of course, I know Sasha's upset with me,
40
00:01:24,066 --> 00:01:25,702
but it's the right decision.
41
00:01:25,703 --> 00:01:28,708
It's really a bummer that
I ruined my shot with Sasha,
42
00:01:28,709 --> 00:01:33,183
but I do believe deep down that
Priscilla and I could...
43
00:01:33,184 --> 00:01:43,170
[♪♪♪]
44
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:53,190
[♪♪♪]
45
00:01:53,191 --> 00:02:03,210
[♪♪♪]
46
00:02:03,211 --> 00:02:13,230
[♪♪♪]
47
00:02:13,231 --> 00:02:14,332
[FARTS]
48
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:17,673
[MUMBLES]
49
00:02:20,211 --> 00:02:22,248
[GAGS]
50
00:02:22,249 --> 00:02:24,152
[RAPID FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
51
00:02:24,153 --> 00:02:26,189
Mom, Evan's trying
to cut my hair!
52
00:02:26,190 --> 00:02:27,358
'Cause it looks like crap!
53
00:02:27,359 --> 00:02:28,628
It does not look like crap.
54
00:02:28,629 --> 00:02:30,598
But seriously, Nora,
run a brush through it.
55
00:02:30,599 --> 00:02:32,602
You guys, you have to go
make the bus.
56
00:02:32,603 --> 00:02:34,640
I can't take you
to school today.
57
00:02:34,641 --> 00:02:36,142
I'm late for an appointment.
58
00:02:36,143 --> 00:02:37,411
Mom, can I have cash?
59
00:02:37,412 --> 00:02:39,515
Backpacks on. Now, go!
What for?
60
00:02:39,516 --> 00:02:41,252
Drugs.
Crack, specifically.
61
00:02:41,253 --> 00:02:42,521
I really hope that's not true,
Andrea.
62
00:02:42,522 --> 00:02:44,091
Is $5 enough?
Thank you.
63
00:02:44,092 --> 00:02:45,862
Mm!
64
00:02:45,863 --> 00:02:47,566
Wait, no, that's mine!
65
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:49,671
[SIGHS]
66
00:02:49,672 --> 00:02:52,108
Come on, guys.
We gotta get the bus.
67
00:02:52,109 --> 00:02:56,416
[♪♪♪]
68
00:02:56,417 --> 00:02:58,386
Jodie.
Whoa!
69
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,257
Dan, what are you doing home?
70
00:03:00,258 --> 00:03:03,699
I tried to go to work,
but I don't feel well.
71
00:03:05,301 --> 00:03:06,670
I think I'm gonna throw up.
72
00:03:06,671 --> 00:03:09,643
Oh.
Is there a trash can you prefer I use?
73
00:03:09,644 --> 00:03:11,279
Is-- Is the toilet
not an option?
74
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,552
No, I mean to put
beside the bed.
75
00:03:14,553 --> 00:03:16,523
Or I could just lie with my head
76
00:03:16,524 --> 00:03:17,859
pressed against the cold floor.
77
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:19,696
You know what?
I think it's dealer's choice.
78
00:03:19,697 --> 00:03:21,166
Just please don't use a wicker trash
can from the kids' room.
79
00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,068
I'm so sorry.
I've got to go.
80
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,303
Jodie!
81
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,776
Do you think you could stay?
I'm dizzy.
82
00:03:26,611 --> 00:03:29,683
And what if I pass out
and hit my head?
83
00:03:29,684 --> 00:03:32,757
I wouldn't want you or the kids
to find me like that.
84
00:03:34,727 --> 00:03:35,595
[♪♪♪]
85
00:03:35,663 --> 00:03:37,999
I don't want you to die
like that, either.
86
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,137
[♪♪♪]
87
00:03:40,138 --> 00:03:42,709
It's coming.
Yeah.
88
00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:45,782
Oh, w-would you get my computer,
please?
89
00:03:45,783 --> 00:03:46,984
Mm.
90
00:03:46,985 --> 00:03:50,525
[♪♪♪]
91
00:03:53,331 --> 00:03:54,432
[RINGING]
92
00:03:54,433 --> 00:03:57,405
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
93
00:03:58,207 --> 00:04:00,377
Hey, you.
JODIE: Hey, you.
94
00:04:00,378 --> 00:04:02,214
Hi.
Uh-oh.
95
00:04:02,215 --> 00:04:04,185
I know that "hi."
What's wrong?
96
00:04:04,186 --> 00:04:05,587
I'm so sorry to do this
last minute,
97
00:04:05,588 --> 00:04:07,993
but I'm not gonna be able
to make it to our session today.
98
00:04:07,994 --> 00:04:09,362
My kid is sick.
99
00:04:09,363 --> 00:04:10,665
Take it off my series, though.
100
00:04:10,666 --> 00:04:12,334
No, no, no.
Don't even worry about it, no.
101
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,738
I know you got a lot
on your plate.
102
00:04:13,739 --> 00:04:16,342
Half greens, quarter protein,
and a quarter carbs--
103
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,946
complex, not simple.
Not simple.
104
00:04:17,947 --> 00:04:19,081
[CHUCKLES]
105
00:04:19,082 --> 00:04:20,217
DAN: I'm gonna blow again!
106
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,352
Need another trash can!
107
00:04:21,353 --> 00:04:22,722
I'll be there in just a minute!
108
00:04:22,723 --> 00:04:24,492
[WHISPERING]
But I'm running in place.
109
00:04:24,493 --> 00:04:25,762
I'll lose the last pound
from home.
110
00:04:25,763 --> 00:04:27,364
How about
those jumping jack twists
111
00:04:27,365 --> 00:04:28,634
that I'm trademarking
for my program?
112
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,470
They will blast the calories.
113
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,274
Here we go.
And jack and twist!
114
00:04:32,275 --> 00:04:33,343
And jack and twist!
115
00:04:33,344 --> 00:04:35,180
Jack! Twist!
Jack! Twist!
116
00:04:35,181 --> 00:04:36,349
Too late!
117
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:37,953
Ugh.
I'll call you back.
118
00:04:37,954 --> 00:04:39,021
High knees!
119
00:04:39,022 --> 00:04:40,725
Keep those knees high,
and I'm gonna send you
120
00:04:40,726 --> 00:04:42,494
a home workout video
that I recorded.
121
00:04:42,495 --> 00:04:44,298
Little glitch--
it plays upside down,
122
00:04:44,299 --> 00:04:45,969
but otherwise, it's cool.
123
00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:49,843
[♪♪♪]
124
00:04:49,844 --> 00:04:50,779
Oh, uh...
125
00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:53,216
No, I-I'm Luke's mother.
I'm not trespassing.
126
00:04:53,217 --> 00:04:54,385
No, I know,
Mrs. Lakier.
127
00:04:54,386 --> 00:04:55,622
Security recognizes you now.
128
00:04:55,623 --> 00:04:57,258
Quick thing.
Man...
129
00:04:57,259 --> 00:04:58,460
Hey.
130
00:04:58,461 --> 00:04:59,963
Uh, today at recess,
the kids were playing
131
00:04:59,964 --> 00:05:03,236
in their cars on the playground,
and Macy cut Luke off,
132
00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:04,806
drove in front of him,
bumped into him,
133
00:05:04,807 --> 00:05:07,511
and he called her
a "bleeping bleep bleep."
134
00:05:07,512 --> 00:05:10,652
Well, I mean,
is she a bleeping bleep bleep?
135
00:05:10,653 --> 00:05:12,622
Let's just say she's not
a good driver
136
00:05:12,623 --> 00:05:16,429
and too old to pronounce
the word animal "aminal,"
137
00:05:16,430 --> 00:05:17,766
but regardless,
138
00:05:17,767 --> 00:05:19,703
we try and encourage
our students to be kind
139
00:05:19,704 --> 00:05:21,740
and fill each others' buckets
with positivity.
140
00:05:21,741 --> 00:05:23,678
Shoot. Did Luke need a bucket
for school?
141
00:05:23,679 --> 00:05:25,782
No, it's a metaphorical bucket.
142
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:28,353
Okay, well, that's way cheaper.
143
00:05:28,354 --> 00:05:30,457
Yeah. So when this sort of thing
happens,
144
00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:31,860
we usually find
that it's because
145
00:05:31,861 --> 00:05:35,267
the child is parroting
something they hear at home.
146
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,737
Okay, so you mean like
a babysitter?
147
00:05:36,738 --> 00:05:40,010
Oh, no, no, no, no.
We love Gloria here.
148
00:05:40,011 --> 00:05:40,713
Please say hi.
149
00:05:40,714 --> 00:05:42,514
This is a more recent change.
150
00:05:42,515 --> 00:05:44,686
Puberty.
Nope, that's a ways off.
151
00:05:44,687 --> 00:05:46,724
Well, I developed very early,
okay?
152
00:05:46,725 --> 00:05:47,826
I mean, it was great at first.
153
00:05:47,827 --> 00:05:49,595
It was kind of fun and exciting,
154
00:05:49,596 --> 00:05:53,336
and then changing in gym class
got a little... you know.
155
00:05:53,337 --> 00:05:54,840
I'm sure it was.
156
00:05:54,841 --> 00:05:56,944
So, uh, not to assign blame...
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
157
00:05:56,945 --> 00:06:00,652
...but it's probably a parent
Luke's parroting.
158
00:06:00,653 --> 00:06:03,891
Mm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
159
00:06:03,892 --> 00:06:04,661
[BLEEP]
160
00:06:04,662 --> 00:06:06,195
[BLEEP][BLEEP]
161
00:06:06,196 --> 00:06:07,464
[BLEEP][BLEEP]
162
00:06:07,465 --> 00:06:09,168
[TIRES SQUEALING,
CAR HORNS HONKING]
163
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,673
[BLEEP][BLEEP]
164
00:06:12,375 --> 00:06:13,711
Okay, I'm gonna go,
165
00:06:13,712 --> 00:06:15,648
'cause these kids
aren't gonna wipe themselves.
166
00:06:15,649 --> 00:06:17,584
Okay, hey, I will--
I'll talk to Luke's dad
167
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:18,788
about being a better role model.
168
00:06:18,789 --> 00:06:21,060
He's a real loose cannon, okay?
169
00:06:23,464 --> 00:06:25,133
Wait, why did I come here?
170
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:26,603
Oh, God. Luke.
171
00:06:26,604 --> 00:06:28,941
[LAUGHS]
You get it.
172
00:06:28,942 --> 00:06:30,611
[♪♪♪]
173
00:06:30,612 --> 00:06:32,081
[DOOR CLOSES]
174
00:06:32,082 --> 00:06:32,917
Hey, Bri.
175
00:06:32,918 --> 00:06:36,489
I got you some groceries
at Fields.
176
00:06:36,490 --> 00:06:37,591
Hi.
Hey.
177
00:06:37,592 --> 00:06:38,961
These are all about to expire,
178
00:06:38,962 --> 00:06:41,499
so if I were you, I'd get on it.
Oh, wow.
179
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,403
Thank you.
You are spoiling us.
180
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:44,438
Where's Lila?
181
00:06:44,439 --> 00:06:46,409
Napping, I hope.
182
00:06:46,410 --> 00:06:47,612
That cheap baby monitor I got
183
00:06:47,613 --> 00:06:49,816
only picks up
the neighbor's Ring cam.
184
00:06:49,817 --> 00:06:51,552
I think the wife's
having an affair.
185
00:06:51,553 --> 00:06:53,991
The pest guy
stays there way too long.
186
00:06:53,992 --> 00:06:54,794
What a mess.
187
00:06:54,861 --> 00:06:56,396
You know, I've been meaning
to clean out
188
00:06:56,397 --> 00:06:58,734
this closet for awhile.
189
00:06:58,735 --> 00:07:01,372
God, Coleen was such a slob.
190
00:07:01,373 --> 00:07:03,878
Oh, my God.
191
00:07:03,879 --> 00:07:06,249
This is the scarf!
What scarf?
192
00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:07,551
Uh, the scarf.
193
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:08,788
I don't know what
you're talking about.
194
00:07:08,789 --> 00:07:10,557
The one!
The one with the chickens on it!
195
00:07:10,558 --> 00:07:12,796
She said that you tried
to tie her up with this.
196
00:07:12,797 --> 00:07:16,569
Okay, it's roosters,
and, no, I did not.
197
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,106
Unless she said it was great.
198
00:07:18,107 --> 00:07:19,442
[LAUGHS]
199
00:07:19,443 --> 00:07:21,446
I don't think that "great"
was the word.
200
00:07:21,447 --> 00:07:23,450
I think it was...
201
00:07:23,451 --> 00:07:26,522
"awkward, embarrassing,"
oh, and "sad."
202
00:07:26,523 --> 00:07:27,759
But it was a good story.
203
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,595
That she wasn't supposed
to tell anyone.
204
00:07:29,596 --> 00:07:31,767
She didn't.
Just me, Jodie, and Amy.
205
00:07:31,768 --> 00:07:33,904
Oh. For the record,
I did a great job.
206
00:07:33,905 --> 00:07:35,608
The problem was her wrists.
207
00:07:35,609 --> 00:07:38,748
For such a thin woman,
she had very thick wrists.
208
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,952
It's why she always
wore men's watches.
209
00:07:40,953 --> 00:07:43,089
You know, Brian, not everybody's
great at bondage.
210
00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:46,095
Okay, Coleen was
a very unreliable narrator.
211
00:07:46,096 --> 00:07:49,402
I will show you exactly
how good I did.
212
00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:52,007
Oh.
Come on. Get in there.
213
00:07:52,008 --> 00:07:53,510
Be my guest.
214
00:07:53,511 --> 00:07:55,280
The first thing I can tell you
you did wrong
215
00:07:55,281 --> 00:07:56,516
without seeing anything
216
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:58,553
is that you used a scarf
with chickens on it.
217
00:07:58,554 --> 00:08:00,056
Again, roosters,
218
00:08:00,057 --> 00:08:02,629
and it was the only scarf
that she'd let us ruin.
219
00:08:02,630 --> 00:08:03,898
It was a gift from my mom,
220
00:08:03,899 --> 00:08:06,603
which probably added
a creepy layer to things.
221
00:08:06,604 --> 00:08:08,641
Mm-hmm.
Might be why it didn't work out.
222
00:08:08,642 --> 00:08:10,110
And done.
223
00:08:10,111 --> 00:08:13,450
See, I don't think
it was her fat wrists,
224
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,187
may they rest in peace.
225
00:08:15,188 --> 00:08:16,056
I think it was you.
226
00:08:16,057 --> 00:08:17,659
Why don't you have a seat...
Okay.
227
00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:19,495
...and I will show you
how it's actually done.
228
00:08:19,496 --> 00:08:20,898
You remember my ex, Diana.
229
00:08:20,899 --> 00:08:22,267
Mm-hmm.
She was a freak.
230
00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,538
Couldn't tie her legs together.
You know what I mean?
231
00:08:24,539 --> 00:08:26,509
So, uh-- Oh.
232
00:08:26,510 --> 00:08:28,647
What else did Coleen
tell you about me?
233
00:08:28,648 --> 00:08:31,385
Um, that you cry at rom-coms,
234
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,490
uh, you love
the Dave Matthews Band,
235
00:08:33,491 --> 00:08:34,826
and that you sit when you pee.
236
00:08:34,827 --> 00:08:36,797
Every man does when no one's around.
237
00:08:36,798 --> 00:08:39,068
You have a blankie named Bolly.
238
00:08:39,069 --> 00:08:42,207
You barricade the doors at night
in case of an intruder.
239
00:08:42,208 --> 00:08:44,011
Because zombies.
240
00:08:44,012 --> 00:08:44,881
Yeah.
241
00:08:44,882 --> 00:08:46,549
AMY: Alright, heads up, Luke.
242
00:08:46,550 --> 00:08:48,888
Glass incoming.
243
00:08:48,889 --> 00:08:52,528
Watch where you're going,
you... nice man.
244
00:08:52,529 --> 00:08:53,898
You very nice man.
245
00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:56,703
Mommy, you're not gonna
take that, are you?
246
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:59,074
I am. I am gonna bend over
and I am gonna take it,
247
00:08:59,075 --> 00:09:01,579
because that's what we do
when people upset us.
248
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,651
Mother...
249
00:09:03,652 --> 00:09:07,357
of two is what I am.
250
00:09:07,358 --> 00:09:09,361
Okay.
251
00:09:09,362 --> 00:09:12,035
This is so hard.
252
00:09:16,443 --> 00:09:17,779
There you go.
Lunge. Lunge.
253
00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:19,148
That's right.
90-degree angle!
254
00:09:19,149 --> 00:09:21,052
You guys are doing great.
Sweet, okay.
255
00:09:21,053 --> 00:09:23,289
For this next one,
you can use any household item
256
00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:25,327
if you don't have any weights
at home.
257
00:09:25,328 --> 00:09:27,364
I like to use
a large bottle of shampoo.
258
00:09:27,365 --> 00:09:29,803
We're just gonna do some
tricep extensions.
259
00:09:29,804 --> 00:09:31,907
Oh, you're walking.
260
00:09:31,908 --> 00:09:33,611
And there's color in your face.
261
00:09:33,612 --> 00:09:36,617
Yeah, I think
the last of it is out.
262
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,353
The tea you made really helped.
263
00:09:38,354 --> 00:09:40,959
Aww.
Thank you.
264
00:09:41,728 --> 00:09:43,296
I think it was food poisoning.
265
00:09:43,297 --> 00:09:46,837
I might have eaten some bad
Shrimp Louie yesterday.
266
00:09:46,838 --> 00:09:48,607
Not Petruzzo's.
267
00:09:48,608 --> 00:09:49,943
Petruzzo's.
Oh, my God!
268
00:09:49,944 --> 00:09:51,880
That is so gross!
Dan!
269
00:09:51,881 --> 00:09:53,951
They gave me back my coat
and there was a mouse
270
00:09:53,952 --> 00:09:55,755
eating a tissue in the pocket!
271
00:09:55,756 --> 00:09:57,792
I have never seen you scream
like that.
272
00:09:57,793 --> 00:10:00,564
Your face was just
an open mouth.
273
00:10:00,565 --> 00:10:02,267
[LAUGHS]
274
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,570
Yeah, just like that.
No!
275
00:10:03,571 --> 00:10:06,877
[BOTH LAUGH]
276
00:10:06,878 --> 00:10:08,981
I promise, next anniversary,
277
00:10:08,982 --> 00:10:10,217
I will choose a restaurant
278
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,822
where the rodents stay safely
on the floor.
279
00:10:12,823 --> 00:10:15,393
[BOTH LAUGH]
280
00:10:15,394 --> 00:10:16,296
[SNORTS]
281
00:10:16,363 --> 00:10:18,566
Oh, the laughter,
it's j-jostling the, uh...
282
00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:20,437
[GURGLING]
...warm shrimp.
283
00:10:20,438 --> 00:10:22,307
[LAUGHING]
Good luck up there.
284
00:10:22,308 --> 00:10:25,314
[LAUGHS]
285
00:10:26,718 --> 00:10:33,196
[♪♪♪]
286
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:34,365
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
287
00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:36,169
[CHUCKLES]
288
00:10:41,513 --> 00:10:47,324
[♪♪♪]
289
00:10:47,325 --> 00:10:52,735
[♪♪♪]
290
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:54,238
She originally started
dating you
291
00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:56,843
because of
the free frozen yogurt.
292
00:10:56,844 --> 00:11:00,483
But then she fell madly in love
with me?
293
00:11:00,484 --> 00:11:02,822
Deeply, deeply, madly.
294
00:11:02,823 --> 00:11:05,493
You were all she talked about.
295
00:11:05,494 --> 00:11:06,630
And I'm done.
296
00:11:06,631 --> 00:11:09,068
Mm.
Try to get out of that one.
297
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:11,038
Yeah, okay.
298
00:11:11,039 --> 00:11:12,374
Oh.
299
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:13,509
Oh.
300
00:11:13,510 --> 00:11:14,679
Wow.
301
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:15,848
You're really good at this.
302
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:17,352
You should get into kidnapping.
303
00:11:18,989 --> 00:11:21,292
So, tell me something
she said about me.
304
00:11:21,293 --> 00:11:25,166
I mean, she was just
really proud of you.
305
00:11:25,167 --> 00:11:29,174
You had such an important job,
saving people.
306
00:11:29,175 --> 00:11:33,784
Touching all those gross
body parts, all those fluids.
307
00:11:33,785 --> 00:11:35,053
That's it?
308
00:11:35,054 --> 00:11:37,759
Well, she thought you looked
great in scrubs.
309
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:38,927
[CHUCKLES]
310
00:11:38,928 --> 00:11:41,065
She thought you were
a superhero, you know?
311
00:11:41,066 --> 00:11:43,169
Sarah Man.
[LAUGHS]
312
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,341
She was really proud of you
being a doctor.
313
00:11:47,245 --> 00:11:50,551
Okay, well,
I'm gonna go bag groceries now.
314
00:11:52,890 --> 00:11:54,425
Are you mad?
I'm picking up a tone.
315
00:11:54,426 --> 00:11:57,030
You just told me Coleen was
proud of me because I was a doctor,
316
00:11:57,031 --> 00:11:59,068
and now I'm not a doctor
anymore,
317
00:11:59,069 --> 00:12:01,138
so my feelings are hurt.
318
00:12:01,139 --> 00:12:02,274
Oh.
319
00:12:02,275 --> 00:12:03,944
I'm-- I'm sorry.
320
00:12:03,945 --> 00:12:05,614
Was there anything else
she was proud of?
321
00:12:05,615 --> 00:12:09,321
I'm-- I'm sure there were
a lot of things, I just...
322
00:12:09,322 --> 00:12:12,995
can't think of them right now
with you look at me like that.
323
00:12:12,996 --> 00:12:15,401
See you later, Bri.
324
00:12:16,971 --> 00:12:19,541
Oh, hey.
I think you forgot something.
325
00:12:19,542 --> 00:12:20,678
Sarah!
326
00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:22,048
Sarah.
327
00:12:24,085 --> 00:12:24,987
Sarah?
328
00:12:24,988 --> 00:12:27,625
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Okay.
329
00:12:27,626 --> 00:12:28,961
Hey, how was your day?
330
00:12:28,962 --> 00:12:31,399
Oh, it was, um--
My-- My day was wonderful.
331
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,505
Everyone was very nice
and-- Oh, good.
332
00:12:34,506 --> 00:12:36,008
Glad you have your guitar out.
333
00:12:36,009 --> 00:12:38,847
Yeah, just grippin' and riffin'.
334
00:12:38,848 --> 00:12:41,285
Doing that thang.
335
00:12:41,286 --> 00:12:42,255
So hey, hey, hey.
336
00:12:42,256 --> 00:12:44,024
So, Mr. Higgins
tells me today
337
00:12:44,025 --> 00:12:45,861
that our kids repeat
everything that we say,
338
00:12:45,862 --> 00:12:47,264
and Luke has just been
dropping bleep-bombs
339
00:12:47,265 --> 00:12:48,634
all around the playground.
340
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:50,070
Yeah. Wonder where
he got that from.
341
00:12:50,071 --> 00:12:52,040
Yeah, well, I told him
I'd have a chat with you.
342
00:12:52,041 --> 00:12:54,078
Right, you traced
the problem back to me.
343
00:12:54,079 --> 00:12:56,048
Thank you.
Okay, let's stop
344
00:12:56,049 --> 00:12:58,052
pointing fingers
at each other, okay?
345
00:12:58,053 --> 00:12:59,254
Higgins is
the real problem here.
346
00:12:59,255 --> 00:13:02,561
He's a real piece of...
sheet cake.
347
00:13:02,562 --> 00:13:06,368
So sheet cake, Luke,
is a wonderful, um, dessert
348
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:10,009
enjoyed by educators
in all countries.
349
00:13:10,010 --> 00:13:11,913
♪ You're my sheet cake,
baby ♪
350
00:13:11,914 --> 00:13:14,151
♪ You got
so many layers ♪
351
00:13:14,152 --> 00:13:15,921
♪ You're my sheet cake,
baby ♪
352
00:13:15,922 --> 00:13:17,491
♪ You got
so many layers ♪
353
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:19,662
Alright, I gotta write
my feelings down.
354
00:13:19,663 --> 00:13:21,165
Luke, I'm borrowing
your notebook.
355
00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:23,069
We could go up on it.
You could.
356
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:26,108
♪ You're my sheet cake, baby, you got so many layers ♪
"Mr. Higgins is a real--"
357
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:30,049
And he's that, and he's that, and he's--
♪ You're my sheet cake, baby, you ain't got any haters ♪
358
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:32,154
Yeah, that writes itself.
359
00:13:32,155 --> 00:13:35,193
♪ Sheet cake, baby,
you got so many layers ♪
360
00:13:35,194 --> 00:13:38,032
♪ You're my sheet cake, baby,
you ain't got any haters ♪
361
00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:40,336
Oh, God.
♪ You're my sheet cake ♪
362
00:13:40,337 --> 00:13:41,740
♪ Sheet cake ♪
363
00:13:41,741 --> 00:13:43,977
So, you know, it's great.
It's so good.
364
00:13:43,978 --> 00:13:45,413
Um, you know what
I was thinking?
365
00:13:45,414 --> 00:13:48,352
Your playing is so delightful
that maybe we save it up
366
00:13:48,353 --> 00:13:51,091
as a surprise and do a recital--
367
00:13:51,092 --> 00:13:52,494
you do a recital
at the end of the month.
368
00:13:52,495 --> 00:13:54,799
I mean, that's--
Yeah, that's so nice.
369
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,402
Yeah. Yeah.
I might not be ar--
370
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,339
I think, I'm looking through
my calendar right now,
371
00:13:58,340 --> 00:14:00,210
and I don't think I'm around
at the end of the month.
372
00:14:00,211 --> 00:14:04,986
I'm probably--
♪ My baby's not around at the end of the month ♪
373
00:14:04,987 --> 00:14:06,790
♪ My baby's not around ♪
374
00:14:06,791 --> 00:14:07,992
[CASH REGISTERS BEEPING]
375
00:14:07,993 --> 00:14:09,929
Thank you for shopping
at Fields.
376
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:11,933
You have a great day.
377
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,136
Hey, I've been trying
to call you.
378
00:14:13,137 --> 00:14:14,806
You're not picking up.
379
00:14:14,807 --> 00:14:17,110
Well, because we're
in a fight, Brian.
380
00:14:17,111 --> 00:14:18,346
Why are we in a fight?
381
00:14:18,347 --> 00:14:20,083
I'm mad at you
because I'm mad at myself
382
00:14:20,084 --> 00:14:22,755
for quitting the thing
that Coleen was most proud of.
383
00:14:22,756 --> 00:14:24,759
And it's just easier
to be mad at you.
384
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,462
I get it.
Coleen used to get mad at me
385
00:14:26,463 --> 00:14:28,667
when she was mad
at herself, too.
386
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:29,702
Yeah, I know that.
387
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,840
I remembered something
she was proud of you for.
388
00:14:31,841 --> 00:14:34,478
It's too late.
Just-- What?
389
00:14:34,479 --> 00:14:36,917
She was really proud when you
ran that six-minute mile
390
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:38,419
for a high-school fitness test.
391
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:42,127
I mean, she said it was the
fastest time that anyone did.
392
00:14:42,128 --> 00:14:44,364
I didn't do that.
393
00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:45,400
I cheated.
394
00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:48,005
I've never cheated
on anything in my life.
395
00:14:48,006 --> 00:14:50,376
I paid a girl to shave a minute
off my time.
396
00:14:50,377 --> 00:14:52,949
I was trying to impress
our gym teacher.
397
00:14:52,950 --> 00:14:54,686
Darn her beautiful breasts!
398
00:14:54,687 --> 00:14:57,090
Now I'm mad at myself again,
okay?
399
00:14:57,091 --> 00:14:58,593
So just go.
400
00:14:58,594 --> 00:15:00,363
You know, I forgot,
I was gonna get some milk,
401
00:15:00,364 --> 00:15:02,736
but I'll just pick some up
at the gas station.
402
00:15:05,609 --> 00:15:07,845
[SIGHS]
403
00:15:07,846 --> 00:15:09,916
[♪♪♪]
404
00:15:09,917 --> 00:15:13,189
Guys, can you meet me at the
high-school track in an hour?
405
00:15:13,190 --> 00:15:14,959
I want to run the mile
in under six minutes,
406
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,262
but I don't want to do it alone,
407
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:17,832
since the girl who's been
missing for five years
408
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,568
was last seen there.
409
00:15:19,569 --> 00:15:22,441
[♪♪♪]
410
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:27,584
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
411
00:15:27,585 --> 00:15:30,423
[RELAXING MUSIC PLAYS]
412
00:15:30,424 --> 00:15:34,832
[♪♪♪]
413
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:36,803
Oh, dear Lord.
Oh, Mr. Higgins.
414
00:15:36,804 --> 00:15:38,439
You're early.
Should we come back?
415
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,376
This feels like
a "come back" moment.
416
00:15:40,377 --> 00:15:42,748
No, no, no, no.
Please, come in. Have a seat.
417
00:15:42,749 --> 00:15:44,251
We really need to talk
about Luke.
418
00:15:44,252 --> 00:15:49,061
[CLEARS THROAT] Um, with our--
with our tops off or...?
419
00:15:49,062 --> 00:15:51,198
Don't make me send you
to the principal's office.
420
00:15:51,199 --> 00:15:53,469
Why?
She doing hot yoga?
421
00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:54,439
[LAUGHS]
422
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,408
I'm just gonna get to the point.
423
00:15:56,409 --> 00:15:59,581
Uh, Luke brought in a poem
to read for show and tell.
424
00:15:59,582 --> 00:16:01,552
Aww. How about Luke.
Hey. That's great.
425
00:16:01,553 --> 00:16:04,424
"Higgins is a bleeping prude..."
Oh.
426
00:16:04,425 --> 00:16:06,328
"...whose bleep
is clenched so tight,
427
00:16:06,329 --> 00:16:08,867
he can make
bleeping diamonds."
428
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,069
Non-rhyming poem.
429
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,007
Luke stole my notebook.
430
00:16:12,008 --> 00:16:13,409
That is the bigger issue here.
431
00:16:13,410 --> 00:16:16,617
So you also have problems
with your W's.
432
00:16:17,485 --> 00:16:21,026
I do.
I-I-I really struggle with that.
433
00:16:21,928 --> 00:16:25,601
Look, Mr. Higgins, I'm sure you can see the--
the humor in all of this.
434
00:16:25,602 --> 00:16:27,872
Mm-hmm. I hope you can, too.
There is more.
435
00:16:27,873 --> 00:16:29,876
No.
"Henry is playing the guitar
436
00:16:29,877 --> 00:16:31,880
and making that bleeping face,
437
00:16:31,881 --> 00:16:35,487
and I want to rip it off
and shove it up his bleep."
438
00:16:36,189 --> 00:16:37,357
Okay, you know what?
439
00:16:37,358 --> 00:16:38,694
I think we can say "ass,"
alright?
440
00:16:38,695 --> 00:16:40,196
It's an animal,
and it was heavily featured
441
00:16:40,197 --> 00:16:42,367
in the Christmas story,
if I recall.
442
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:45,306
She didn't write "ass."
I gathered that.
443
00:16:45,307 --> 00:16:49,581
[♪♪♪]
444
00:16:49,582 --> 00:16:51,552
Wow, you really don't like
my guitar face.
445
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:53,589
Oh, please do not be
so sensitive.
446
00:16:53,590 --> 00:16:55,862
Your texting face
isn't so great, either.
447
00:16:57,231 --> 00:17:00,570
Henry, that is hurtful.
I'm a lady.
448
00:17:00,571 --> 00:17:02,307
Yeah, well.
You talk like a sailor.
449
00:17:02,308 --> 00:17:03,542
You got to filter yourself.
450
00:17:03,543 --> 00:17:05,814
Oh, w--
I have to filter myself?
451
00:17:05,815 --> 00:17:07,752
Are you kidding me?
You don't filter yourself.
452
00:17:07,753 --> 00:17:11,025
Yeah, I do.
I filter myself all the time.
453
00:17:11,026 --> 00:17:13,429
Morning, noon,
especially right now.
454
00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:15,566
Okay, well, some of us
aren't fake.
455
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:16,503
This is who I am.
456
00:17:16,504 --> 00:17:18,272
Why should I change
for the kids?
457
00:17:18,273 --> 00:17:20,576
I was here first.
Very mature.
458
00:17:20,577 --> 00:17:21,613
You're very mature.
459
00:17:21,614 --> 00:17:24,384
Look, no one's saying
you can't be you,
460
00:17:24,385 --> 00:17:26,088
just button it up
around the kids.
461
00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:27,457
[GROANS]
462
00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:29,561
I'm gonna go.
I have a guitar recital
463
00:17:29,562 --> 00:17:31,833
to practice for.
Oh, lucky us.
464
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:33,502
I love you.
I love you, too.
465
00:17:33,503 --> 00:17:35,708
I have faith in you.
No, don't have faith.
466
00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:37,444
Nobody needs faith.
467
00:17:37,445 --> 00:17:38,947
[SIGHS]
468
00:17:38,948 --> 00:17:45,360
[♪♪♪]
469
00:17:45,361 --> 00:17:47,297
[ATHLETES SHOUTING]
470
00:17:47,298 --> 00:17:48,734
I'm binging.
Don't judge me.
471
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:51,572
Did you know you can't curse
in front of your kids?
472
00:17:51,573 --> 00:17:52,541
Well, yes.
473
00:17:52,542 --> 00:17:54,679
I mean, have you
never read one--
474
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,582
I'm sorry. I was gonna say
"parenting book."
475
00:17:56,583 --> 00:17:57,985
I mean, if I knew
that I had to be
476
00:17:57,986 --> 00:17:59,488
a good influence
for these things,
477
00:17:59,489 --> 00:18:00,824
I don't-- I wouldn't have
signed up for this.
478
00:18:00,825 --> 00:18:02,661
If I had known that Dan
was gonna get food poisoning
479
00:18:02,662 --> 00:18:03,997
and remind me
of the nice Dan I married,
480
00:18:03,998 --> 00:18:05,433
I might not have kissed Matt.
481
00:18:05,434 --> 00:18:07,972
You kissed Matt?
Mm-hmm.
482
00:18:07,973 --> 00:18:10,443
[GASPS]
Are you guys gonna do it?
483
00:18:10,444 --> 00:18:12,213
I was maybe going to
if I lost eight pounds,
484
00:18:12,214 --> 00:18:13,617
which I am dangerously close to.
485
00:18:13,618 --> 00:18:16,656
Oh, you're training
for an affair. Got it.
486
00:18:16,657 --> 00:18:17,725
Shush! Shh!
487
00:18:17,726 --> 00:18:19,796
Oh, a little.
I guess people can change.
488
00:18:19,797 --> 00:18:21,565
I never would have pegged you
for somebody
489
00:18:21,566 --> 00:18:24,004
who would put themselves first.
490
00:18:24,005 --> 00:18:25,540
Well, I never pegged you
as someone
491
00:18:25,541 --> 00:18:27,077
who would put her kids first.
492
00:18:27,078 --> 00:18:29,882
You're doin' it, girl!
Great hustle!
493
00:18:29,883 --> 00:18:31,686
Look at you!
494
00:18:31,687 --> 00:18:33,355
Yeah, you know what?
I think my kids would be
495
00:18:33,356 --> 00:18:34,424
better off without me.
496
00:18:34,425 --> 00:18:37,163
I can't control myself.
497
00:18:37,164 --> 00:18:38,566
Oh, my God.
498
00:18:38,567 --> 00:18:40,637
You think my kids
would be better off without me?
499
00:18:40,638 --> 00:18:41,573
I never said that.
500
00:18:41,574 --> 00:18:42,842
Yeah, but you never said
the wouldn't.
501
00:18:42,843 --> 00:18:44,411
Well, you used to not care
what I thought.
502
00:18:44,412 --> 00:18:45,848
Well, I still don't care
what you think,
503
00:18:45,849 --> 00:18:47,450
but I mean, you could blow
a little smoke up my ass.
504
00:18:47,451 --> 00:18:49,154
Oh, shoot, am I a bad person
if I have an affair?
505
00:18:49,155 --> 00:18:50,590
Am I gonna have to say
"shoot" now
506
00:18:50,591 --> 00:18:52,661
when I slam my finger
in a drawer?
507
00:18:52,662 --> 00:18:54,264
You've got this!
508
00:18:54,265 --> 00:18:55,934
Really good hustle!
509
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,738
You know what?
I'm gonna get my act together
510
00:18:57,739 --> 00:18:59,441
and I'm gonna be a good
role model for my kids,
511
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:00,677
because you think I can't.
512
00:19:00,678 --> 00:19:02,782
You're gonna be a mother
just to spite me?
513
00:19:02,783 --> 00:19:04,584
Well, I need incentive.
514
00:19:04,585 --> 00:19:05,821
Okay.
515
00:19:05,822 --> 00:19:08,760
I'm gonna cheat on Dan just
'cause you don't think I would.
516
00:19:08,761 --> 00:19:11,198
To spite me?
Yeah.
517
00:19:11,199 --> 00:19:12,367
No.
518
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:13,502
Because it was
the greatest kiss ever,
519
00:19:13,503 --> 00:19:15,607
and he's really stinkin' hot.
520
00:19:15,608 --> 00:19:16,609
Stinkin'?
521
00:19:16,610 --> 00:19:17,845
No,
I can't say "stinkin'."
522
00:19:17,846 --> 00:19:19,147
I can't.
I can't do that.
523
00:19:19,148 --> 00:19:22,689
Oh, God. I need an outlet
for this anger.
524
00:19:23,791 --> 00:19:26,495
Wha-- What was my time?!
525
00:19:26,496 --> 00:19:29,334
Um, uh, what--
what were you trying to beat?
526
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,704
Six minutes!
527
00:19:30,705 --> 00:19:31,473
Oh!
Oh, well!
528
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:33,610
Well, it's 5:51!
Yeah!
529
00:19:33,611 --> 00:19:36,215
Yes!
530
00:19:36,216 --> 00:19:38,352
Coleen, I did it!
531
00:19:38,353 --> 00:19:41,993
I'm not a doctor anymore,
but I did the other thing!
532
00:19:41,994 --> 00:19:45,033
[PANTING]
533
00:19:46,136 --> 00:19:48,139
Well, let's go congratulate
this nutbag.
534
00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:49,775
Don't say "nutbag." It's not PC.
What?
535
00:19:49,776 --> 00:19:51,145
Don't ever say it
around your kids.
536
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,849
[GROANS]
537
00:19:56,991 --> 00:19:59,194
♪ Drivin' down the highway ♪
538
00:19:59,195 --> 00:20:01,265
♪ Drivin' so fast ♪
539
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:08,045
♪ The radio's on in my Pontiac ♪
540
00:20:08,046 --> 00:20:08,881
I don't see a face.
541
00:20:08,882 --> 00:20:10,183
I don't know what
she's talking about.
542
00:20:10,184 --> 00:20:11,385
Yeah?
543
00:20:11,386 --> 00:20:12,688
I just see a sexy guy
doing sexy stuff.
544
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,291
Yeah, that's what I thought.
545
00:20:14,292 --> 00:20:15,661
Mind if I get in this
a little bit?
546
00:20:15,662 --> 00:20:16,663
Let me hit it.
547
00:20:16,664 --> 00:20:19,401
♪ Driving down the highway ♪
548
00:20:19,402 --> 00:20:21,739
♪ Driving so fast ♪
549
00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:25,580
♪ Radio's on
in my Pontiac ♪
550
00:20:25,581 --> 00:20:27,685
Whoo!
All I see is a rock god.
551
00:20:27,686 --> 00:20:29,154
Thanks.
Run this baby back?
552
00:20:29,155 --> 00:20:31,525
Let's back this up.
Let's double team this dream.
553
00:20:31,526 --> 00:20:32,494
Mm.
554
00:20:32,495 --> 00:20:35,333
♪ Driving down the highway ♪
555
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,605
♪ Driving so fast ♪
556
00:20:37,606 --> 00:20:41,713
♪ Radio's on in my Pontiac ♪
557
00:20:41,714 --> 00:20:42,715
[LILA CRYING]
558
00:20:42,716 --> 00:20:43,618
Oh, man.
559
00:20:43,619 --> 00:20:44,752
Yeah, I think Lila's awake.
560
00:20:44,753 --> 00:20:47,190
Uh, she's gonna want to
hear this.
561
00:20:47,191 --> 00:20:48,526
Two, three, four.
562
00:20:48,527 --> 00:20:51,331
♪ Driving down the highway ♪
563
00:20:51,332 --> 00:20:53,603
♪ Driving so fast ♪
564
00:20:53,604 --> 00:20:58,713
♪ Third-row seating
in my Pontiac-ac ♪
565
00:20:58,714 --> 00:21:07,330
[♪♪♪]
566
00:21:07,331 --> 00:21:09,034
You dumb [BLEEP]
567
00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:12,040
Use your [BLEEP]
blinker if you're gonna make a turn.
568
00:21:12,041 --> 00:21:15,279
If you're turning to the right,
use the right blinker,
569
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,552
you [BLEEP][BLEEP]
570
00:21:18,553 --> 00:21:20,256
What's wrong with her?
571
00:21:20,257 --> 00:21:22,393
She's a role model.
572
00:21:22,394 --> 00:21:23,562
I feel better.
573
00:21:23,563 --> 00:21:25,099
[SPRINKLERS TURN ON]
574
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:28,005
[SCREAMING]
575
00:21:28,006 --> 00:21:32,414
[♪♪♪]
43840
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