Original subtitles

The way you

hold.

Thank you.

I was just taking a minute.

Is that allowed at your wedding?

You're kidding.

Ohh.

Nobody got is your room.

Praise the groomzilla.

Time is not a groomzilla, OK?

He just committed to making every detail perfect.

You should have taken your father's money for this way.

Then professionals wouldn't make everything perfect for you.

And I told you, we are adults

and we wanted to pay for our own wedding so it could be what we wanted.

And this is what you wanted.

That was a printing error.

Anyone that you

love.

Love.

Take my heart.

Wasn't made for me and you.

They almost shoot you.

I thought you were pirate, but you're just a guy.

This this is for your bride, huh?

Yeah, trying to surprise her,

I saw something just like it on Etsy and it looked perfect, but.

Mr.

I want to be romantic, but not.

There's a really fine line between the two.

Aren't you supposed to be over there?

Your rehearsal party.

Oh my God, I need you to talk to your father's yoga teacher.

Girlfriend or whatever she gets.

Can you tell her to stop smiling him?

Yes, I will tell Dad's girlfriend to stop smiling at you

and won't cause any issues.

Also, I cannot sit at the table with stones.

Mother on a boat here.

She tried to serve a single into something specific and she's excited.

OK, she's never been out of the country before.

Growing has never.

I've got a stack man right.

Watch that man crack out of my hair and send him on his way.

I've been looking forward to this moment

ever since baby Tommy was cut out of my abdomen.

Oh my God, I have never been on a private island before.

I have never been even on an island before.

Actually, you know that's not true.

What would the Hebrew means?

We went to Mackinac and you know, before they moved to Bloomington,

have you ever been to Mackinac Granada?

I don't know what that is or most of the words that just.

Wouldn't you just love it, Larry?

Oh, hi, Darcy.

Guess what?

We got you a gift.

You didn't have to do this.

We did.

It's the biggest day of our lives.

Tomorrow.

What are you talking about?

Come on.

I've been here.

Alright, she's opening.

Ohh.

Someone just left it in the bath.

Not really.

The guests are already mingling and your daughter sees talking.

Go, go.

Go.

Ohh.

You've got my daughter, Rusty knife.

It's just something borrowed.

Everyone in our family uses them on their wedding day.

Brings you a lifetime of good luck.

Except for Uncle Greg,

who ended up getting the capitated on that forklift.

But that's not the knives fall.

Dad.

Just press.

Carol, you look lovely.

Mary hello, Sir.

I'm gonna kiss you too.

Boom.

Yeah.

Renata.

I love that you two are still friends.

You could do.

Ohh Darcy.

I am so honoured to bear witness

to this sacred observance of every burning devotion.

They're not that.

I need to go to the latest

hey, meet you when I'm in formal,

where I like to pee standing up.

How about you?

That's for you.

Big poppy, man.

Nice to see you, Dad.

Let's just stick with Robert for the right.

Robert.

Incredible resort.

Yes, I did.

I actually studied by a residents and this place is.

Teeming with energetic vibrations.

It's just like a room teeming with bugs.

Four Seasons would have been nice, but you didn't want my help,

so some things are more important than money.

That's debatable.

Well, I need another drink.

I'm good, OK.

Goodnight.

See everything like that.

Acting like yourself.

God dammit.

What do you mean?

Where have you been?

I was just finishing up a little project.

What I miss ohh.

Well your mom gave me curse knives

and then my mom almost the other my dad's girlfriend for smiling.

Ohh.

Also your cousin Amy asked what she could charge her vibrator.

She was something.

What do you mean?

Why is your hair all wet?

You know, I went through a little nice one.

You fell in the water, didn't you?

Yeah, I fell in the water.

OK, if you don't backyard lying.

Just.

Please promise me.

Promise me you will be

OK.

I promise.

This is from the honeymoon playlist.

Tell me, tell me.

I need you for like 5 minutes.

This man's speech, right, and it is going to move.

Hi, hey.

Dad's girlfriend just asked me my love language was

she sucks.

In 20 years shares.

Inviting.

Because.

We were.

You never RSVP, so very, very cool moves.

Really excited me.

This looks like the Russian forgot to put the shirt

all the way on DVD.

So sorry that I'm late.

You're kidding me to go to Japan at the last minute

and then you have to try to return from Kyoto

just like

you just, you know, we didn't know you were coming.

Your dad and I wanted to surprise you,

but baby, you know I wasn't going to miss your wedding for anything in this world, friend.

Oh, oh.

Yeah man, I have been dying to meet you.

Respond.

What position do you play?

Designated hitter.

Ohh.

Fortunately they didn't pick up his contract,

so tactically he's unemployed.

But.

From the miners in 40,

that's a tough break time,

but if you stay positive you could have a really great future in coaching,

you know what I mean?

That is an excellent idea, I think so thank you.

Is it time for dinner?

We are still very touched that you all made the trek out here.

You know, we really wanted to pick a place that was convenient

for none of you.

You know what?

I talk too much at the law firm,

so I am going to hand it over to the man of the hour,

the guy who made this whole weekend happen.

My lovely.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Right, you're doing this right.

Darcy talked a lot about her time in the Peace Corps and Wally

and I thought, you know, how cool would it be

if we got married there?

And then I realised that Bali was unbelievably expensive.

I think the Philippines are better.

Great news.

Ruth, let's.

You know, a lot of you were there to witness Murphy proposal,

the shock and surprise and priceless.

Anyway, mom and Dad, I just want to say thank you.

Your commitment is something that we can only aspire to.

Robert renata.

We hope our marriage is nothing like yours.

Pivot, baby.

I mean, that's not a character judgement by any means.

I mean 50% of marriages ending divorce, right?

Beautiful.

Cheers everybody.

Not us.

Sadie and I met.

In the Peace Corps in Bali,

and one day we had to run these medical supplies to this village.

I decided to teach her how to drive the boat so I could sleep

and she could do all the work.

The first time our girl gets behind the wheel,

she gets a damn speeding ticket from the Coast Guard.

Right.

Doesn't do anything.

Half assed.

She sees what she wants.

She goes after it and she doesn't settle for less.

So, as some of you may know,

do you and I were 100 years ago were engaged?

But she called it off.

No, no, no, no, no.

She was waiting for Tom.

And that guy right there has got to be a one in a million supernova

to snag that beautiful soul.

So in conclusion, I just want to say one thing to you Deedee.

Tokachi.

Oh God, it's hard to explain.

It actually means.

Fuck your grandpa.

Well, that's not.

You know, just in Balinese, it's super offensive.

Well, that's offensive everywhere.

Yeah, like your grandma.

It's just it just made us laugh.

That is funny.

Hi, everybody.

I'm Tom's baby sister, Jeannie.

Jeannie.

Wow, Shawn's speech.

Wasn't it something?

Honey.

Maybe we should just, you know.

Call it a night.

No, babe, you go ahead.

I gotta finish these centrepieces and rearrange the seating chart now

that Sean decided to show up.

Tom.

Tom.

Yes, yes, just just, just, just just

pineapples real quick.

OK.

Do you really have to finish?

Pineapple.

Right now.

Oh my God I love you in a T-shirt and kids.

Reach over here with high self so I can get something to read.

And why is it so sexy?

You can't reach ice shelves.

I'm sorry miss, but it was.

No, no, no.

It's the one over there, Sir, please.

Yes.

Thank you so

I can help.

Miss you.

You know.

Miss.

Question.

Just wondering why you called off?

It's still not sexy.

Like I told you this.

We were young, we were in Bali and then one day I woke up

and just didn't feel right.

OK.

You said yes.

Which is you right?

I don't know.

He's he started working with my dad.

He changed and all he cared about was status and money.

Why do you want to talk about my ex the night

before our wedding?

I don't know.

Maybe because you invited him to our wedding, remember?

I didn't.

My dad asked me to invite.

What was I supposed to say?

I don't know.

No.

If you remember correctly, I didn't want to invite anyone.

I wanted to elope.

But the only reason I agreed to a traditional wedding

was because you said that we'd had moments alone.

Carol.

Your future mother-in-law, Carol.

You know that I know your name.

Ferrell.

I brought some crappy extras for that.

Welcome bags, in case you want to make one for Sean.

Ohh.

Great.

Thanks.

All right.

Thanks.

You're not wearing any pants.

I just want.

And I hope it's OK.

Is that genetic?

Or is it like?

That's not the time, you know, we need to.

And you can't spend the night together.

No, you can't.

It's bad enough you know his cousin Jenna.

She spent the night with her husband.

Lo and behold, she got Lyme disease.

And now she can't wear sandals.

It's a trade.

Look at the happy couple.

Now birds are going to lay exit.

I know I almost slept from sorry.

Kind of, sort of stuff with Ricky last night.

Ricky, yes, I'm sorry, I just.

I was in the mood for something,

you know, that wasn't quite right,

like ordering a hamburger of sushi bar or something.

I'm just going to avoid him today.

It's like he's times.

You 2 have to walk down the aisle.

I am very good at ignoring people that I'm standing next.

OK,

I can't believe you agreed to Withdraw's wedding dress.

You look beautiful no matter what.

She's ready.

Scotch guarded the grass.

I'll try not to enhance the chemical.

Where's the veil?

What?

Yeah.

Prettiest of them.

You look so much better than the rest.

Mistress is just wonderful.

I work for my wedding.

Jeannie wore it for her,

and now you're going to wear it for yours.

Oh, my gosh.

Look at you.

White coral made out of tissue.

Something doesn't.

Do you think if we blow dry the veil it would be more?

Something kind of magical happened with me last night.

Theoretically speaking,

would it be weird or wonderful if we married sisters?

Yeah, sure.

Larry talks being born come kill me doing a backflip.

OK.

No, it's last minute.

The way things that we've last night

and I didn't know what, you need to start off with a bad note.

Oh my God.

I thought you were calling it off.

Calling off the wedding.

Why?

I don't know.

I mean, this weekend hasn't exactly gone to plan.

You and I have been arguing more in the last few months

than we did our first four years together.

I don't know.

I guess I thought what things were supposed to be fun.

Ohh.

OK.

Sorry, didn't make it.

What?

Even more fun for you?

No, that's Darcy.

That's not working.

It's not my wedding.

It's our wedding.

Hardly.

Tom, you got so fixated on the wedding that you you turned into a different person.

I'm sorry.

I just wanted everything to be perfect.

Why is it so important to you?

Why isn't it important to you?

It's like you don't even care about the wedding.

Of course I care.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're the one that insists that we pay for this wedding.

Yeah.

I'm the one that's bargaining with all the vendors and DIY

and everything.

And all you're saying is, I don't know.

It looks good, you know?

Sounds good.

Tim.

Whatever you want.

I told you that I did not want a big traditional wedding.

Can I have some blushing bride?

I'm a grown woman.

I don't want my daddy walking me down the aisle.

I don't need a big Princess dress.

And I certainly don't need a wedding registry.

I have my things already.

I like my things.

Well it's just not up in the lobby.

I gave you through my phone.

Oh my God, they falling in a ditch.

And how do you know that?

I just have a 6 times about these things

and I will take a look around, don't worry.

Cheque.

I wanted it to just be you and me.

For the 400th time, that would have killed my mother.

And that's why I'm in your mother's dress with an extra £10

of hair on my head.

But the truth is, you have not listened to me

find the thing I wanted.

Since you proposed.

OK, well, Darcy, I'm listening.

Enlighten me.

What is it?

What is it that you want?

We talked about this.

I told you on our very first date.

I didn't want a big wedding.

I thought you changed your mind about that.

Why did you even agree to do it?

I don't know.

OK because.

Because I love you.

Because I I I wanted you to be happy.

If you don't want to go through with this.

It's not too late.

Oh, we got everybody that we loved down

to the Philippines for our wedding.

I'm in this dress.

We're doing this.

Beautiful.

Those your bowels?

Oh my God.

You convince yourself that I wanted to call off the wedding,

and now you're making it happen.

There you go, lawyering yourself out of any real responsibility.

Ohh, you're cutting your ring.

Won't happen again.

Hi.

Gonna be with Sean then, you guys.

Some grandmas.

Bad feeling about this is going to be fine.

I believe you might be overreacting.

Currency.

Mummy.

Now.

Now.

Why not the phone?

I think that's the point too.

Yeah.

But I have it back,

OK?

No need to be scared,

but long as everybody follows directions, no one gets hurt.

Raise your hand when you hear your name.

Probably better.

Robert

Robert.

They're calling you.

Thanks a lot, Carol.

Lovely photo present.

I'm Carol, his wife, so you don't have to make two trips.

I'd like it.

Sean Monkey,

if you hurt anyone in this pool, you have to answer to me.

There's this big hero all the group.

There is always one.

What has brought in groom?

She's there.

He thinks she's ohh no.

Amanda thought it was appropriate to wear white.

I didn't know that was a rule.

Yes, you did.

You're a gas lighter.

Problem.

They could go police and the police come.

Which you'll everyone.

I I saw Tom headed towards the nature walk

before the ceremony and I noticed that his frequency levels were dangerously low.

He's getting cold feet, probably has cold feet.

Really what we should be worrying about at this point.

I'm a mother.

I can worry about a lot of things at the same time,

like Larry's mole.

Spread out.

Look for them.

I I tried to use morning and I didn't hear anything back.

Are you being serious?

Nothing.

Why would I be mad?

I'm awesome.

I'm on a tropical island.

I'm having a liquid brunch.

Oh my God, this is not happening.

Anybody.

OK, once I get this hair combo off my head,

I'm going to mug them you to tell everybody how you pull this up.

Are you seriously searching me right now?

The fuck?

Is that blood?

No time for a blood freak out right now.

Pilots

and they took everybody else.

We've been.

2 Mark said the cell service is better on the north side.

You don't want people to be present in the moment.

Believe.

No, I can't really can't breathe.

It's the shapewear.

Please help me get out of this just now.

Now would you relax?

What did you think?

Dresses.

Mistress.

Door latches from the inside.

He's going to work here.

You know we're in here.

When he comes in here and we're in you, you're in the shower.

You come back in a better time.

Leave a note.

OK, here's the body.

He comes in.

He's in the shower.

Yes, no one.

Trying to get out.

How about this spray?

Hairspray in the eyes.

Yes, that's actually attached.

Just read out all they can actually, complained car

park.

Why?

There's two steps playing door, neck.

I pop out and I put the metal where his head.

I'll surprise you.

He won't be able to shoot straight because

I'm wrapped up in the map.

Time.

Like you're right.

That husband was so much worse than than that.

Good enough.

I have them alive.

Little bit.

And then we can begin.

You doing OK, Jamie?

With someone feels like you can hold in my asshole, but.

Listen, it's normal to feel scared or Michael, anything happened to you?

Promise.

Hey, son.

I am also feeling scared,

like the most scared I've ever been in my whole life.

It's like I just watched the rain, you know?

Robbie, baby, I want you to practise the breathing exercise that we learned in.

Excellent.

OK, I'm going to hit a pressure point.

Ready and.

Three from the diaphragm.

It's making the noise.

Just go ahead and shoot me.

The happy couple will be here in a second, so let's get to business.

Where is the pattern of the pride?

Robert, he's calling you again.

Thanks, kiddo.

What do you want?

Well, we call my colleague on this satellite phone and you transfer $45 million

to a bank account.

I don't have that kind of money.

We googled you.

Net worth is $60 million.

I'm not giving you anything until I find out if my daughter is safe.

And your son-in-law?

Yeah, him too.

OK, I can wait two minutes to take all your money.

This one.

We want some candies from that.

We're welcome back.

We got away from them in my pocket.

No, I don't want you sweating.

Even your girls compete.

OK.

Soon.

OK.

OK.

You're an ass.

God, I can't be.

That sucks with you.

Honestly, I was pretty surprised by that too.

My parents got divorced when I was in high school.

First, engagement.

Disaster.

What about you?

Are you dating?

You always wanted to be a pirate, no?

Versus they're going to hurt you.

Is there any way I can almost cigaret?

I mean, I think it might help with the panic and experiencing right now.

You don't even have to untie my hands.

Smoke with no hair.

Put it right in my mouth.

Maybe we'll shut her up.

Ohh thank you.

You guys are.

Correct.

No.

Cool.

What?

This is nothing like baseball.

What Adam?

Give me the grenade.

Are your dad.

Oh yeah, he's very alive.

Oh boy.

I kill them.

Oh my God, a Cuban man.

No.

If you're coming, I feel horrible.

Exciting, you know?

Happy.

Like I'm going to shit my pants, you know?

No.

Oh my God.

We're going to prison.

No, no, he was saying it was something that he was trying to kill us.

Any car would.

Ohh.

Are you OK?

Hi, I'm fine.

It's just, you know.

Blood, and I think I saw some brain was that brain stuff?

I'm just gonna look up at the sky.

OK, well, you know what, maybe we should just step away.

It's just

I don't cheque with them.

We need to get off your phone.

It might help that I got this grenade for us.

I mean, he was trying to blow us up, but I got it.

OK, Darcy.

Do you remember?

That time that we were driving down the highway

and he very calmly told me to pull over and he went

until we pulled over to tell me

that there was a giant spider on my head.

Yeah, that was very smart because if you had told me before,

I went panicked and crashed the car.

I don't know.

I tell you the story because.

I don't want you to panic when I tell you what I'm about to tell you.

Your grenade.

Doesn't have a pen.

What does that mean?

What is it?

Is it going to explode?

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Hold it.

Exactly how you holding?

Good.

Good.

Umm, OK.

That pin holds the handle on.

But when you record the grenade they handle pops off,

which lights the fuse in.

The whole thing goes.

Video games.

So what should we do?

Kind of concern is that you won't be able to throw it far enough to not blow us up.

Well, he just he just hold this live grenade.

This grenade is just part of my life.

OK, here's the plan.

We're going to get a knife cut through these ties,

we're gonna get rid of that quinine

and then we're going to head down to the docks.

We're going to bum rush the pirate guarding

and hop in a boat and head to the next time for help.

OK.

There's too many steps.

I see that now.

Do you get a simpler 1?

They're here.

What we doing?

What are we doing?

What did you put on your?

Right before the fire.

You are a sneaky little bitch.

Would still love you.

With my daughter.

What happened?

Are you OK?

Didn't hurt you today.

I'm not giving them a time till I know my God is alive.

That didn't go over very well.

I'm afraid that we start shooting the hostages.

I don't think we're gonna do.

What?

Exactly what?

Yeah.

Come out, Mr Pirate man.

My name?

Carol Elaine Fowler.

Then I deserve to live.

Carol.

What are you doing?

I'm humanising myself.

I saw it on Good Morning America.

If you humanise yourself to them, they let you live.

I am a wife,

I am a mother,

and I was Milford MI's top realtor in 1998.

And again in 2007.

We dream of going to Ireland.

I was a late bloomer and my teeth didn't come

in till I was fourteen.

Please pick me.

My name is Jeannie Reed.

I am a devoted mother and a slightly less devoted wife.

This is my first vacation without my kids.

So I drank a lot of champagne before the ceremony,

took a couple of weed gummies,

and the combination is really killing me right now.

I'm Amanda Walker.

I'm a godmother and a woman in tech.

I'm from Brazil.

I have a beautiful hair.

Else.

Your mother.

Mother.

My name is Ricky Silver.

A lot of my friends the pairing up

and they're getting married and drinking loose leaf tea and shit.

Nice.

Still single but last night.

I made love to a gorgeous and terrifying woman.

You think I'm terrified?

You're scared the shit.

I'm Larry Fowler.

Thank you.

Oh yes, hold hold on.

It's going to get this thing out of my head.

Wait, hold on.

Just wait.

What are you?

Are you stopping your loose wiring here in my pocket?

Who's bought a very expensive custom made hair that I would like to keep if we.

What's so funny?

I just been

questioning everything lately.

What's the wedding's not perfect?

What if your parents never let me?

What does life look like after basic?

But not once did I wonder

if I'd be walking handcuffed through the jungle with a life grenade.

Pirates chasing you wasn't on your vision board.

If you were the only thing.

You got it.

You got it.

OK.

OK.

All right.

OK.

Fun.

God no, no, no, no.

I don't like that.

I don't think this thing is called the.

No.

Come on.

Maybe we should go back down so we're not up so high.

Right now, you see.

Used to work same very loose.

Time is it?

Control.

Women's zip.

Zip.

No, I don't think we have the proper equipment.

Some, some.

You know it's.

They look scary.

You'll find,

but I killed.

You could have the man with the bride lying.

Police post got not only there.

How do we get across?

Easy.

Going to fix this.

My poor mom.

She thought she was going to be my dad all weekend.

My mom used to put my pants so much.

Because the whole world.

Lost her joy.

She asked.

She never really recovered.

Darcy.

You have to keep.

Night.

What?

What are you doing?

I'm starving.

Have you here today?

No, I'm not going to read.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Come on.

We need to find something else.

Plastic.

Yep.

You ready?

Hang on everyone.

We got this.

We got this on my couch.

Ready.

Are you counting from 10?

What is this?

A rocket launch you can find on 4.

We.

2.

4.

There was.

Just

ready.

Go.

God.

Oh my God.

Never.

Where's your mum's life?

No.

Throw me those boots.

What?

Address

scroll on me.

Thanks.

Something lustration.

Yes, maybe much different than the Internet.

Much love.

No, damn it.

Yeah.

Georgia.

Your bunker.

Thing is, it's fitting for you.

Sit down.

I'm going to wrap it.

Be sure it's disgusting.

Yeah.

Yeah, OK.

Looks like.

Well.

It's got a loose flap.

Just be careful with the flat.