Original subtitles

no one likes you that's why I didn't

invite you to my birthday party if

anyone finds out that we know each other

then everyone will think I'm a loser

like you so stay away from me has anyone

ever said something similar to you if so

you were probably a loser in school like

me most of my classmates didn't even

know I existed and my teachers kept

forgetting my name like one time when I

got an A plus on my report card in math

although I had failed the written math

exam the only way I could explain how

this had happened was that the teacher

had confused me with another girl in our

class who had the same name as me now I

believe that there are two ways to

become popular in high school as a girl

first you are pretty or second you have

a really outgoing personality

unfortunately I hadn't either because I

was ugly and boring hey what will you do

this weekend watch TV with my mom I

guess with your mom don't you have any

friends no I didn't have friends and it

was my mom's fault because she

controlled my whole life down to the

smallest detail put this dress on I like

like it but Mom tight dresses don't fit

my body type my mom didn't care she

forced me to put it on and once I came

back from the dressing room she said oh

God it looks hideous on you I didn't

know someone could look this ugly some

kids don't feel hurt when their parents

criticize them but I am very sensitive I

still remember the last time I dared to

make a joke at home I was six or seven

years old and I said Mom I knew Santa

Claus exists that's because you are

cheap and you would never buy me any

expensive gifts so Santa must have

brought them I was just a child making a

silly joke but my mom freaked out and

said you dare to insult your mother go

to your room so I don't have to see your

ugly face anymore you are ugly ugly ugly

I didn't understand when my joke had

offended her so much but after this

traumatic event I never made a joke

again instead I morphed myself into a

shy boring girl who couldn't offend

anyone it was an adaptation strategy to

survive my mom's cool outbursts of Rage

now you also understand why I'm a weirdo

if my mom had at least sent me to a team

sport to socialize with other kids but

no she forced me to take private

recorder lessons at home and there was

no instrument less cool than a recorder

anyway in 10th Grade I made my first

friend on my bus ride home her name was

Vanessa and she just sat down next to me

and started talking it was less of a

conversation and more of a monologue

from her because she loved talking about

herself her house is on the same street

as mine and one day she knocked on my

door because her dog had run away she

wanted me to help her find him and of

course I agreed because that's what

friends do for each other right well a

few hours later I actually found her dog

hiding under some stairs the strange

thing was that the dog didn't want to go

back home to Vanessa I had to carry him

home to her while he was kicking and

crying when Vanessa saw us she said you

stupid dog mom would kill me if you ran

away then she told me my family bought

him for five thousand dollars when he

was a puppy but he looked a lot cuter

back in then than he does now so I think

I'm gonna sell him again wow she didn't

care at all that her dog was alive and

well she also forgot to thank me for

finding her dog most of you probably

wouldn't want to be friends with someone

like Vanessa but I was a loser and I

couldn't be that picky one day on the

bus Vanessa mentioned that it was her

birthday that weekend cool will you

throw a party no I'm going to visit my

grandma in the countryside now you have

to understand one thing every Monday one

of Vanessa's real friends rode the bus

too and then Vanessa always pretended I

didn't exist she wouldn't say hi or even

look at me stupid as I was I thought you

just forgot about me because she had so

much fun talking to her other friend so

on the Monday after her birthday I went

over to them and said hey Vanessa I hope

you had a great birthday I brought you a

present before Vanessa could respond her

friend said oh my God who is this ugly

duckling and how does it know you

Vanessa ew she doesn't know me and I

don't know her either then she screamed

as loud as she could get away from you

they both started laughing and I went

back to my seat in utter shock I was mad

and thought well she doesn't want my

gift that's her bad but the next day

Vanessa sat back down next to me as if

nothing had happened at all she said the

gift you showed me yesterday do you

still have it with you no I left it home

I didn't want to creep you out again oh

God are you still mad about yesterday

did you understand how nice I've been to

all this time remember when you asked me

if I threw a birthday party and I said

no guess what I lied to you of course I

had a birthday party but it was better

for you not to come because nobody likes

you and all my friends would have made

fun of you because you were a creepy

loser wow while my mom had to put effort

into making me feel bad Vanessa did it

without even trying I responded so am I

your friend of course you are my backup

friend if I don't have anyone better to

talk to then I will hang out with you

looking back Vanessa showed many signs

of narcissistic personality disorder not

only did she have a complete disregard

for my feelings but she also did

everything she could to get other

people's attention she often took

selfies posted them on Instagram with

ridiculous captions underneath like

remind me to never trust someone again

she also fabricated stories to make

herself look better she told me in case

you didn't know I am a great singer I

won an X Factor last year and the only

reason I didn't make it through the

auditions was that I was too young but

Simon Cowell personally approached me

backstage and wanted to exchange numbers

with me so we could stay in touch he

thought I had an incredible voice well

Vanessa's in my friendship came to an

abrupt end what a good-looking boy

started riding our bus too Vanessa told

him ah usually I sit reuse it now but

it's okay I'll just sit next to you by

the way do you like brunettes afterward

Vanessa never felt like talking to me

again she had found a better companion

but the cute boy ran into me once and my

books fell over he picked them up again

and apologized but Vanessa couldn't bear

not being the center of attention even

if it was just for a second so she faked

a loud sneeze that sounded like some

bird chirping

Vanessa why did you just make that sound

oh no I always sneeze like that do you

like it yeah Vanessa was an attention

seeking a little brat Meanwhile my

miserable life didn't change until I

graduated high school I was 18 about to

go to college and ready to reinvent

myself I set all kinds of goals that

this time I would be more social make

lots of friends and be popular and sure

enough when I moved into my dorm I

immediately hit it off with my roommate

Angela she even invited me to a college

party and I thought this was my chance

to show the world the new me but once I

arrived at the party my anxiety kicked

back in I couldn't talk to anyone and

just stood around alone and awkwardly

that's why I got myself a couple of

drinks to relax biggest mistake of my

life I had never drunk alcohol before

and I ended up going over to a couple

that was making out go away you

now it's my turn to make out with your

boyfriend I tried to kiss the guy but

his girlfriend slapped me in the face at

which point I spat at her and yelled I'm

going to sleep with your boyfriend

tonight and there's nothing you can do

about about it meanwhile all my fellow

students were watching and laughing at

me I woke up the next morning feeling so

ashamed of myself that I didn't leave my

dorm room for two weeks eventually I

started attending classes again but by

then I had missed so many classes that

it was impossible for me to catch up on

the material so I completely stopped

spending classes again and fell into a

depression staying in bed all day for

the rest of the semester finally I was

kicked out of college and had to move

back in with my mom it's just like in

the old times now my mom keeps telling

me that she isn't surprised that I

failed college and then I should follow

her career advice from now on I guess

the only thing that changed is that I

now owe ten thousand dollars in student

loans honestly I hate myself I hate my

life and I hate my mom