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no one likes you that's why I didn't
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invite you to my birthday party if
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anyone finds out that we know each other
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then everyone will think I'm a loser
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like you so stay away from me has anyone
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ever said something similar to you if so
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you were probably a loser in school like
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me most of my classmates didn't even
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know I existed and my teachers kept
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forgetting my name like one time when I
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got an A plus on my report card in math
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although I had failed the written math
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exam the only way I could explain how
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this had happened was that the teacher
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had confused me with another girl in our
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class who had the same name as me now I
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believe that there are two ways to
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become popular in high school as a girl
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first you are pretty or second you have
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a really outgoing personality
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unfortunately I hadn't either because I
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was ugly and boring hey what will you do
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this weekend watch TV with my mom I
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guess with your mom don't you have any
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friends no I didn't have friends and it
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was my mom's fault because she
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controlled my whole life down to the
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smallest detail put this dress on I like
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like it but Mom tight dresses don't fit
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my body type my mom didn't care she
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forced me to put it on and once I came
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back from the dressing room she said oh
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God it looks hideous on you I didn't
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know someone could look this ugly some
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kids don't feel hurt when their parents
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criticize them but I am very sensitive I
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still remember the last time I dared to
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make a joke at home I was six or seven
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years old and I said Mom I knew Santa
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Claus exists that's because you are
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cheap and you would never buy me any
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expensive gifts so Santa must have
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brought them I was just a child making a
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silly joke but my mom freaked out and
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said you dare to insult your mother go
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to your room so I don't have to see your
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ugly face anymore you are ugly ugly ugly
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I didn't understand when my joke had
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offended her so much but after this
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traumatic event I never made a joke
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again instead I morphed myself into a
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shy boring girl who couldn't offend
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anyone it was an adaptation strategy to
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survive my mom's cool outbursts of Rage
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now you also understand why I'm a weirdo
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if my mom had at least sent me to a team
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sport to socialize with other kids but
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no she forced me to take private
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recorder lessons at home and there was
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no instrument less cool than a recorder
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anyway in 10th Grade I made my first
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friend on my bus ride home her name was
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Vanessa and she just sat down next to me
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and started talking it was less of a
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conversation and more of a monologue
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from her because she loved talking about
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herself her house is on the same street
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as mine and one day she knocked on my
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door because her dog had run away she
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wanted me to help her find him and of
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course I agreed because that's what
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friends do for each other right well a
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few hours later I actually found her dog
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hiding under some stairs the strange
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thing was that the dog didn't want to go
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back home to Vanessa I had to carry him
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home to her while he was kicking and
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crying when Vanessa saw us she said you
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stupid dog mom would kill me if you ran
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away then she told me my family bought
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him for five thousand dollars when he
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was a puppy but he looked a lot cuter
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back in then than he does now so I think
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I'm gonna sell him again wow she didn't
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care at all that her dog was alive and
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well she also forgot to thank me for
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finding her dog most of you probably
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wouldn't want to be friends with someone
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like Vanessa but I was a loser and I
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couldn't be that picky one day on the
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bus Vanessa mentioned that it was her
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birthday that weekend cool will you
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throw a party no I'm going to visit my
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grandma in the countryside now you have
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to understand one thing every Monday one
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of Vanessa's real friends rode the bus
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too and then Vanessa always pretended I
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didn't exist she wouldn't say hi or even
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look at me stupid as I was I thought you
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just forgot about me because she had so
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much fun talking to her other friend so
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on the Monday after her birthday I went
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over to them and said hey Vanessa I hope
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you had a great birthday I brought you a
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present before Vanessa could respond her
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friend said oh my God who is this ugly
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duckling and how does it know you
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Vanessa ew she doesn't know me and I
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don't know her either then she screamed
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as loud as she could get away from you
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they both started laughing and I went
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back to my seat in utter shock I was mad
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and thought well she doesn't want my
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gift that's her bad but the next day
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Vanessa sat back down next to me as if
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nothing had happened at all she said the
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gift you showed me yesterday do you
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still have it with you no I left it home
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I didn't want to creep you out again oh
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God are you still mad about yesterday
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did you understand how nice I've been to
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all this time remember when you asked me
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if I threw a birthday party and I said
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no guess what I lied to you of course I
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had a birthday party but it was better
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for you not to come because nobody likes
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you and all my friends would have made
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fun of you because you were a creepy
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loser wow while my mom had to put effort
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into making me feel bad Vanessa did it
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without even trying I responded so am I
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your friend of course you are my backup
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friend if I don't have anyone better to
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talk to then I will hang out with you
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looking back Vanessa showed many signs
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of narcissistic personality disorder not
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only did she have a complete disregard
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for my feelings but she also did
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everything she could to get other
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people's attention she often took
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selfies posted them on Instagram with
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ridiculous captions underneath like
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remind me to never trust someone again
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she also fabricated stories to make
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herself look better she told me in case
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you didn't know I am a great singer I
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won an X Factor last year and the only
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reason I didn't make it through the
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auditions was that I was too young but
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Simon Cowell personally approached me
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backstage and wanted to exchange numbers
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with me so we could stay in touch he
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thought I had an incredible voice well
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Vanessa's in my friendship came to an
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abrupt end what a good-looking boy
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started riding our bus too Vanessa told
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him ah usually I sit reuse it now but
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it's okay I'll just sit next to you by
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the way do you like brunettes afterward
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Vanessa never felt like talking to me
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again she had found a better companion
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but the cute boy ran into me once and my
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books fell over he picked them up again
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and apologized but Vanessa couldn't bear
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not being the center of attention even
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if it was just for a second so she faked
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a loud sneeze that sounded like some
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bird chirping
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Vanessa why did you just make that sound
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oh no I always sneeze like that do you
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like it yeah Vanessa was an attention
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seeking a little brat Meanwhile my
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miserable life didn't change until I
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graduated high school I was 18 about to
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go to college and ready to reinvent
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myself I set all kinds of goals that
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this time I would be more social make
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lots of friends and be popular and sure
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enough when I moved into my dorm I
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immediately hit it off with my roommate
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Angela she even invited me to a college
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party and I thought this was my chance
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to show the world the new me but once I
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arrived at the party my anxiety kicked
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back in I couldn't talk to anyone and
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just stood around alone and awkwardly
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that's why I got myself a couple of
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drinks to relax biggest mistake of my
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life I had never drunk alcohol before
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and I ended up going over to a couple
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that was making out go away you
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now it's my turn to make out with your
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boyfriend I tried to kiss the guy but
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his girlfriend slapped me in the face at
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which point I spat at her and yelled I'm
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going to sleep with your boyfriend
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tonight and there's nothing you can do
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about about it meanwhile all my fellow
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students were watching and laughing at
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me I woke up the next morning feeling so
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ashamed of myself that I didn't leave my
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dorm room for two weeks eventually I
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started attending classes again but by
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then I had missed so many classes that
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it was impossible for me to catch up on
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the material so I completely stopped
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spending classes again and fell into a
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depression staying in bed all day for
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the rest of the semester finally I was
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kicked out of college and had to move
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back in with my mom it's just like in
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the old times now my mom keeps telling
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me that she isn't surprised that I
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failed college and then I should follow
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her career advice from now on I guess
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the only thing that changed is that I
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now owe ten thousand dollars in student
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loans honestly I hate myself I hate my
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life and I hate my mom
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