All language subtitles for That.70s.Show.S07E21.BDRip.x264-FGT

That was probably

our second-best
potato chip war ever.

What the hell ?!

We'll clean it
up later, dude.

I'm not your "dude," and
you never clean anything up.

Well, we mean to, but then we leave, and then
we come back, and it's already cleaned up.

You eat my food,
you dirty up my house

and every time I
go into a bedroom,

I have to wonder about finding one
of you naked with some poor girl !

Well, at least you know that if you
find me naked in a room, I'm by myself.

All right, I want everybody who doesn't
live in this house to get out now !

You know what ? You're
a real bummer, man.

Come on, fez, let's
go to our new apartment

where people can do whatever
they want, whenever they want.

Just like the bible says,

"let my people do
whatever they want."

eric,

the high school sent over your transcript, which
means you can start applying to teachers' college.

Now you tell me what school you wanna
go to, and I will send them a pie.

Because you cannot eat a lady's pie and
then not let her son into the school.

I gotta admit, forman,

it's nice finally seeing you
do something with your life.

It almost inspires me to make my record
store the best damn store in the region.

Nah.

It says here that eric got
an "I-n-c" in gym class.

"I-n-C."

I bet that stands
for "incredible."

Kitty, it's "incomplete."

I know. You have to
add the "redible."

You have failed "to meet the
requirements for graduation.

To receive your diploma, "you
must attend summer session P. E."

Ha !

Ha ?

I didn't graduate, and all
you have to say is "ha" ?

Oh.

And also, hee hee.

This sucks.

Yep, but you have to
remember one thing, forman.

It only sucks for you.

I can't believe
I'm back in gym,

or as I like to call it, "the
institute of things I can't do."

Casey kelso ?

Hi there, pinciotti.

Wow, look who you got with
you... little foreplay.

Yep, that's me, okay.
Okay, okay ! Okay.

And, ms. Forman, god, you get
younger every time I see you.

Oh, me too.

Yeah. Yeah,

yeah. Pinciotti, you
are looking so good.

I'm sorry i've ever
broke up with you ?

thing is, see, I got this tendency
to, uh... what's the word ?

Smolder ?

I think the word
you're looking for is

ditch, bail, run away.

No, no.

Oh, wait, did
you say "bail" ?

Yeah, yeah.

So, casey,

how did we get so lucky
to see you here today

a little bit sweaty ?

well, um, I'm the teacher.

no way.

That's funny. It looks like a normal gym, but
apparently I've stumbled into the mouth of hell.

The coach

needed someone to fill in, so he called the
best quarterback that point place high ever had.

And I figured, you know, the
cheerleaders... they practice in here,

so it'd give me a good chance to see what's
gonna be on the market in a couple years.

I can't believe that you get to decide
whether or not I graduate high school.

Well, look, I tell you what,

you give me one pull-up over there,
I'll tell the school you passed.

Okay.

Okay, let's get this done,
foreplay. Get over there.

Hey, pinciotti, you see all these
eighth grade boys checking you out ?

No, they're not. Really ?

Hi, boys !

All righty,

let's get this done.

Here we go !

just, uh,

getting in a really
good stretch here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me show
you how it's done, foreplay.

I don't know, man. It's
trickier than it looks.

You rea... oh, you
got it. Good, yeah.

That's what I was going for.

Phew, is it hot
in here or what ?

Okay, fez,

this bedroom's clearly better,
'cause it has its own bathroom, so

I'm go ahead and be the bigger
man and give it to myself.

But I need a room
with its own bathroom.

Otherwise I'm gonna have to walk
through the living room when, you know,

when I want to have
a moment with myself.

That's too bad. I want it.

- I want it.
- Well, I want it !

- I want it !
- I want it !

- I'll kill you !
- What ?

Okay, wait, wait.

Fine, you can take it.

I don't want it anyway.

I was in there earlier,

and I think I heard voices.

Voices ?

What kind of voices ?

Well, they weren't unfriendly.
They kept saying, "get out !"

I don't want
the haunted room.

- Well, I don't want it.
- Well, I don't want it !

Okay, fine.

I'll take the room of death,

but you owe me one.

Thanks, man.

hi, boys.

I brought you a
housewarming gift...

glass grapes !

every so often, someone
tries to eat one.

It's a real
conversation-starter.

I remember.

Hmm, you know, it looks like you
might need some help unpacking.

Kitty, no !

Oh, just sit. I'll
just be a minute.

But remember, you are a
guest in these kids' home,

just like they've been a
guest in our home for years.

Yeah.

I'm a guest,

just like they've been
guests in my house.

Hey, that was my program.

Yeah, that's a bummer.

Oops.

What kind of animal just
dumps food on someone's couch ?

I'll clean it
up later, dude.

Okay, that's it.
You're going down.

Or I mean,

I'm coming up.

Hey, let's not pretend like this
is gonna happen, okay, forehead ?

Forehead ? That'S...

come on, man,
that's not even good.

They're all good
to me, forehead,

but tell you what.

I'll pass you if you
can tell me one thing.

How does a guy that
can't even do one pull-up

get someone like donna ?

Wow.

You know, at least
I'm not the dillhole

who's strutting around the gym with
my whistle thinking I'm all cool

because I'm teaching summer
school P. E. To a bunch of botards.

Man,

I think it's really weird that
you'd say that to me, forehead,

especially since I was just
about to sign your transcript, but

I don't know. Now it seems
like I've lost my pen.

You didn't lose...

okay, listen up.

I want to teach you
all a little game.

It's called target.

Yeah !

Ooh, what's target ?

all right, all moved in.

Ch�teau kelso is
open for business.

You know, "ch�teau"
is german for "mister."

Michael, you should have gotten
the room with the bathroom.

You earned it be being
born better-looking.

Oh, well,

I coulda had it, but fez said that
there were evil spirits in there,

so I made him take it.

Sucker.

Man, I can't believe
you fell for that,

especially after that time he told you evil spirits
lived in that hot dog, and then you gave him that.

Wait, are you saying
he's tricking me ?

Foreigners always lie.

That's how the indians tricked
us into buying new mexico.

You boys are gonna
need a plumber.

I tried to flush your pillow down
the toilet. It just wouldn't go.

Ooh, matches !

Hi, honey.

How was your first
day of school ?

It was awful. Casey's
definitely gonna fail me.

Oh, that doesn't
sound like my casey.

I mean, the world's casey.

Man, it's like I finally figured out what I want to do
with my life, and now I might never be able to do it,

and might I add, through
no fault of my own.

Eric, the last time you used the phrase
"through no fault of my own" was when you said,

"donna, your cat's dead

"through no
fault of my own,"

which I later found out meant,
"donna, I ran over your cat."

What did you do in class ?
Were you being a porky mouth ?

What ?

No ! A little bit, yeah.

Well, there's only
one thing to do.

I'm gonna have to put on some
lipstick and go apologize to casey.

Fez, you made up all that
stuff about the room !

And I want the room,
so give it back !

- You give it back !
- You give it back !

- You give it back !
- You give it back !

hi, casey.

Hey.

Look, I wanted to
talk to you about eric.

Who ?

Foreplay.

Oh, yeah.

Look, I want to know if you can just
go ahead and let him get his diploma,

because it's really
important to him...

and me.

There might be one way I
can pass the little guy.

You know, all you gotta do is, you
know, just go out with me on a date.

Casey, I'm with eric !

Who ?

I'm not saying it again.

Okay, come on, one date ! 'Cause
I'm still trying to figure out

why I ever broke
up with a blonde.

I was a redhead then.

Man, I gotta start
paying attention.

so get this.

I went down to the
gym to talk to casey,

and he said that the only way he'd pass
you is if I'd go out on a date with him.

What ?

Oh, thank you,
donna, thank you !

So you'd let me
go out with him ?

Well, donna, if you
really loved me, I mean,

you'd date other men.

Get bent !

Now if she really loved
me, she'd date other women.

Okay, the competition for who gets the better
bedroom is gonna be based on the miss america pageant.

Ooh, I'll be miss texas.

That bitch always wins.

Okay, the first event is the
talent portion of the competition.

okay.

Judges,

I present you with
a dramatic scene

from the major motion
picture "the godfather."

Aah ! there's an
entire horse in my bed !

Why would you do this,
godfather ?! Why ?!

And then the horse says...

"let this be a warning."

The horse doesn't
talk, kelso.

Oh, yeah, I was
thinking of "jaws."

aah, look at my jaws !

Fez, you're up.

I think we're gonna give
this round to the foreign kid.

I just ran into donna.

Oh, was she on a
date with casey ?

No, and she doesn't
seem too happy with you.

I don't know
why she's so mad.

Well, you'll often find
as you go through life

that when you try to turn your
girlfriend into a prostitute,

she gets cranky.

Okay, but, dad,

passing P. E. Is all
that's standing between me

and the rest of my life.

You're lucky this table is standing
between my foot and your ass.

Now you go down there with
donna and do a pull-up

and earn the respect of that
woman who inexplicably loves you !

You know what ? You're
right. I gotta do this.

I can do this.

I just gotta be like
luke in "star wars."

I just have to really
believe that I can.

Yeah, but I don't believe I can,
so this is nothing like that.

Any tricks to
doing a pull-up ?

Yes.

You pull...

up.

Thanks, obi-wan.

E ric,

what are we doing here ?

You gonna make me sell a
kidney so you can pass math ?

No, we're here, because
I'm a man, damn it !

Hey, buddy,

guess what. You're not
taking my girlfriend out.

Guess why. 'Cause I'm about to pass gym fair
and square on the basis of my own strength.

Sidebar.

What are you doing ?

I'm doing a pull-up, woman.

Wow, it looks like somebody really
had their wheaties this morning.

Actually,

I had cocoa puffs,

so I'm cuckoo, man, cuckoo !

Donna,

stand back,

mostly because I'm gonna be

kicking my legs a lot.

You can do it, eric.

Never gonna
happen, foreplay.

foreplay,
foreplay, foreplay !

It's not "foreplay,"

it's forman !

Eric, you did it !

Wow, congratulations.

So we going out or what ?

Look, stay away from my girl, okay,
casey kelso ? Or wait, maybe I should say

casey

smellso.

Smellso ?

Wow,

that's really cold, forman.

You know, I'm just gonna go
sign your transcript, 'cause

I don't think I want to
hang out anymore, okay ?

Eric, I am so proud of you.

I'd hug you back, but,

well, I can't move my arms.

We're back.

I told red he had to fix the very unsanitary
thing he did with a pillow in your bathroom.

So we're gonna have to skip
the swimsuit competition,

because fez won't promise
not to show us his wee-wee.

So we're gonna go
right into interview.

Each of you will have to answer the question,
"why do you deserve the better room ?"

Michael, you go first.

Okay.

Well,

judges,

you may look in there
and see just a room,

but I see a place where
I can raise my daughter

and watch her grow

and

create memories

until the day that

I see her walk
out that door.

And then through the
living room here and

out the main door.

oh !

Michael, that's
really beautiful.

Yeah, kelso, real nice.

Let me tell you a
story about a young boy

who dreamt of one day

being in america

in a room just like that.

And with a tear in his
eye, he said, he said...

which means,

"I want it.

"I want it.

"I want it."

Well, now I vote they
both get the room.

I guess the only
way to solve this

is a footrace
to the room.

Go !

It's mine !

Ha ha ! I got here first
! The room is mine !

Gross ! Old people sex !

red, you said you
locked the door !

sorry, dudes.

The room's yours.

100 !

You know,

I bet we could make it to 200 if
that shirt wasn't weighing you down.

Well, uh, the only way the
shirt's coming off is if I get a

kiss from the best-looking
lady in point place.

Well, bring it
in, dreamboat !

Oh, casey !

"Oh, casey" ?

Oh, casey you see

by the dawn's early light

I just had the most
patriotic dream.