Original subtitles

my mom always wanted to have a pretty

daughter but instead she gave birth to

me an ugly looking girl with a really

big and crooked nose to make things

worse my mom lived in complete denial

and convinced herself somehow that i was

extremely gorgeous and that i could

become a supermodel one day if i just

tried hard enough

that's why she forced me to wear makeup

to school ever since i was in first

grade i can't tell you how awful it was

especially because the other girls in my

class constantly made fun of it

she puts on makeup to look prettier than

us

oops someone should tell her that it

didn't work she still looks like shrek

finally i had enough of being bullied i

told my mom i don't want to wear your

stupid makeup anymore i hate it

but sweetie how are you ever going to

find a husband if you look ugly don't

you want to have kids one day

she said that to me even though i was

only 9 years old i think her plan was to

make me feel insecure and ugly so i

would put more effort into looking

pretty my mom's biggest obsession were

beauty pageants after all once a month

she would take me to another city put me

into a ridiculous looking costume and

make me go on stage

i can't put into words how much i hated

those competitions the other mothers

always stared at me with a face like

what is this ugly girl doing on stage

get her off

meanwhile my mom would scream as loud as

she could smile more smile more

one time on stage i got asked what makes

you different from the other girls and i

should have responded what makes me

different is that i'm ugly but i didn't

want to embarrass my mom in front of the

other mothers

so instead i said i am probably the only

girl participating in this contest that

hasn't had a boyfriend yet the judges

all started laughing but the mothers of

the other girls were super offended they

acted as if i had called their daughters

that's what's so creepy about

beauty pageants for children all the

moms think their daughter is the

prettiest and most perfect girl in the

world and meanwhile they use every

chance they get to trash talk the

daughters of other moms i once even

overheard a mom say did you see that

girl in the blue dress she was so ugly

next time she should wear a paper bag

over her head

it was such a toxic environment and i

desperately wanted to get out of it but

the more competitions i lost the harder

my mom made me practice at home

on weekends i had to practice poses and

strutting down the catwalk until my feet

were sore the only day i got time off

was when my mom took my little brother

to his chess practice

she really wanted him to become a chess

grandmaster one day but whenever my

brother played my mom would stand behind

him and whisper into his ears what his

next move should be if my brother didn't

follow my mom's chess advice she would

pinch his arm and worse my mom had no

idea how to play chess so because of her

interference my brother lost all his

games and it's no wonder that he built

up a lot of anger over time

for his 12th birthday my brother really

wanted an xbox but when my mom gifted

him another chessboard he had a complete

meltdown and threw the board with full

force at my mom's forehead not only did

she get knocked out but she also got a

big scar in the middle of her forehead

that you can still see today

after that she never forced my brother

to play chess again unfortunately i

didn't have the guts to stand up to my

mom and hurt her instead i just kept

losing beauty pageants and over time she

came to the conclusion that it was my

fault i wasn't winning because i was too

fat

today you will start your diet and only

eat two apples you have to get skinny

okay mom i will lose weight for you but

you also have to promise me something if

i should get skinny and still not win

any beauty pageants then please let me

find a new hobby don't worry sweetie you

will win it's guaranteed

well guess what i lost a couple pounds

of weight and went to another pageant

the judges had known me for years and

seen me lose every single contest so out

of pity they decided to let me win for

once

of course i knew i didn't deserve to win

because i was the ugliest of all

contestants but i still appreciated

their kind gesture nonetheless

unfortunately my mom didn't get it she

believed that i had won the contest

because of the diet she had put me on

she said if you lose some more weight

you will become the next big supermodel

i promise you afterward she forbade me

from eating anything over the weekends

mom you can't take away my food you are

starving me

starving you i would never do that it's

called fasting religions have practiced

fasting for millennia

luckily i knew better kids require lots

of food and nutrients to develop so i

asked my brother to bring me food at

night and in secret

meanwhile my mom posted hundreds of

photos of me winning that one beauty

pageant on instagram always with the

caption prettiest girl in the world but

unfortunately my classmates found out

about it and made fun of me for it again

you must have bribed the judges to win

that beauty contest don't think you can

trick us into believing you are prettier

than us

you probably think i should have simply

refused to participate in any more

beauty pageants but i didn't want to

disappoint my mom

she was working in a call center selling

life insurance and every day she came

home from work and told me oh i hate my

job so much i want to kill myself

meanwhile you sweetie you are what keeps

me going one day you will become a

famous model

well i wanted my mom to be happy so i

continued to do whatever she was

expecting of me but on my 16th birthday

she did something truly disgusting

she gave me a folded paper and said here

is your birthday present sweetie

i unfolded it and read three words

free nose job

you must be kidding me

no i'm not you always told me that you

think you are ugly so let's change that

but i am fine with being ugly i will

never look like a model and that's okay

sweetie i think you already look

gorgeous but why not make you even

prettier

the following weeks my mom spent all her

free time showing me celebrities who had

gone under the knife to look better she

was most impressed by bella hadid who

went from below average looking to being

super gorgeous and hot

she continued attractive women make more

money find better husbands and are

generally treated better by society why

should you put up with having a big ugly

nose when you can change it did my mom

just say i had a big ugly nose before

she had always insisted that i was the

prettiest girl in the world so this

comment really hurt and made me feel

insecure

but it gets worse my mom asked our

neighbor's son to come over and while

secretly filming him she asked do you

find my daughter attractive oh

i don't know her well

be honest we both know she isn't pretty

but on a scale from 1 to 10 how would

you rate her

well to be honest i think she is a 1.

later my mom showed me the video and

when i heard that the boy thought i was

a 1 out of 10 i started crying

my mom was hell-bent on making me feel

insecure and her plan was working

meanwhile i'm also a pretty open-minded

person so i asked myself what the

downside of getting plastic surgery was

and honestly the only negative aspect i

could think of was that my classmates

would surely make fun of me if they saw

i had gotten a nose job especially

because i was still only a teenager

well my mom kept reminding me for a few

more weeks just how ugly i was until i

gave in and got a nose job just like she

wanted however only eighty percent of

people who get a nose job are satisfied

with the results this means that twenty

percent have a bad outcome i mean what

if something went wrong and i turned out

even uglier than before

well one week after the operation i

could take off the bandage and oh my god

my nose looked like that of a supermodel

it was crazy i wasn't just less ugly but

i was one of the pretty girls now i ran

to my mom and said thank you so much it

looks amazing

my mom was just as impressed as i was

and she convinced me that same day to

also get cheek implants to make my

cheeks look fuller it's weird growing up

i always thought i didn't care that i

was ugly but now that i had a chance to

turn things around and become really

good looking my appearance became all i

cared about when i got back to school

with my perfect nose all the other girls

were jealous and trash-talked me do you

really have such low self-esteem that

you need plastic surgery how pathetic

oh really so according to your logic

anyone who wants to change their body

has low self-esteem what about people

who want to lose weight do you think

that they are pathetic too you see to me

plastic surgery has become just another

form of self-improvement some people are

born pretty by sheer luck and this is my

way of evening out the playing field

also my classmates kept calling me fake

and plastic so out of spite i got even

more done on my body boob job cheek

implants tummy tuck piece by piece i

turned into a stunningly hot girl but

while it improved my self-image it's

easy to get addicted to just finding one

more thing to change especially if your

mom pays for everything and pressures

you into getting more and more done she

recently told me you know that i got

sixty thousand dollars in debt to buy

you all that surgery right you should

start searching for a guy who can pay

that off or else i'm screwed because i

have to pay 12 yearly interest on this

debt

yeah i'm still only 17 and my mom wants

me to seduce rich guys to make money i

guess everything comes with its price in

the end i'm not sure if enhancing my

body made me a happier person right now

i'm always comparing myself to other

girls and whenever i'm not the prettiest

girl in the room i immediately feel

insecure and bad about myself