All language subtitles for The.l.word.generation.q.S03E04.GLHF.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

Previously on
The L Word: Generation Q...

Oh, shit!

I have got so
much on my plate already.

I can help with that.

Your help is how this happened.

Let me just stay
out of your way then.

Nat?

Hey, Gigi just called me.

I can't get ready on my own,
and I didn't want you to be late.

- It was nice to meet you.
- Yeah, you too.

And good luck on the show.

You should stay and watch.

Congratulations on the baby.

You're not supposed to know that.

- Look, we're not having a baby.
- We're fine.

- We like each other, okay?
- No, we don't.

And to be honest, I liked whoever

she was fucking while you were gone.

My name is Samuel Hendrix.

I am your professor. I am
happy you're in my class.

I lost a contestant

for the dating game? Can
you please do it for me?

Contestant three, I choose you.

You're funny.

- For a regular gal.
- Yeah.

What is going on between you two?

- I'm just confused.
- I'm done.

You want to come over?

Truce.

I don't want to push you

into something that
you're not ready for.

I want to have a baby with you.

- Hey, Tess?
- I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier.

All is forgiven.

- Can we just go home?
- Great show.

Ah...

Uh, same-same to you.

Dani is in a very sensitive
place right now, okay?

- Gotcha.
- She's probably...

Oof, depressed, anti-social,

- all of it. Mm-hmm.
- I get that.

- Hi, hi.
- Hey.

Oh, wow. Look at you. You look so good.

Oh, thank you. You know, I feel good.

- What's up, bud?
- What's up?

- Sophie thought you'd be a mess.
- What? No.

I didn't say a mess.

She absolutely fucking said that.

Not a mess.

I just thought that, you
know, from the breakup...

Uh-huh. I am...

I am totally fine.

I'm more than fine, actually.

Guess who's coming to town tonight?

If it's Harry Styles, can
you please get us tickets?

- Is it Harry Styles?
- No.

It is way better than that.

- Okay. Doubtful.
- Uh, who is it?

It's Roxy.

- Roxy? What?
- Yeah.

Wait, who's Roxy? Ooh, chocolate.

- Mm-mm, it's sausage.
- Oh.

- Ooh. Um...
- Sorry.

Roxy is Dani's bad friend.

Ba-da, ba-da, bad...

- She-she... No.
- Ooh.

- She's not bad.
- Okay, yeah. The last time

she was here, you guys ended up
in an orgy in San Luis Obispo.

Shut the fuck up.

- Mm-hmm.
- That... that was actually

a leather party in the Valley,

- and it was fun.
- Same thing.

I love fun friends. I'm a
lot of people's fun friend,

and I... that's a compliment from me.

She said that she's gonna meet us here,

but she's, like, two
hours late to everything,

so I'm not gonna hold my breath. Um,

she is going to be my wing-man tonight.

- Hey.
- Oh, good for you,

getting back on that horse.

- Mess no more.
- Yeah.

Yeah, we are going hard this Halloween.

- Whoa. Okay.
- Okay, now I'm scared.

Roxy!

D-Bag!

Hi.

- Happy Halloween, bitch.
- They're gonna end up in jail.

Well, at least they'll
have you to bail them out.

Aw, babe.

Good morning, sunshine. Wow.

- You are a deep sleeper.
- I grew up near a firehouse.

Learned to sleep through anything.

- For real?
- No. I took

a gummy at 2 a.m. because I woke up and

- I couldn't fall back asleep.
- Well, I slept

great because I was very tired from you.

Wow.

You got heels and, like, you

look like Alice, the superstar.

- What, this?
- Yeah.

Oh, no. I dress like this for you.

Hey, what about tonight?
Should we go to Dana's,

- and, like, dress up?
- Oh, man.

I wouldn't even need a costume
for tonight. I'm, like,

halfway to Walking Dead extra.

Just missing some
blood here, some dirt...

I was thinking it could be really fun

if we stay here and we do,
like, a scary movie marathon?

I know you haven't left my
house in two days, but...

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, good.

- Okay, good, good.
- Yeah. Let's keep the zombie

off the streets. I
like the way you think.

Yes, because I have all these
great decorations,

and I thought this could
be kind of fun to, like,

- hang them all.
- Wow.

You're, like, a Halloween person.

Eh. I'm more like a girl who
steals things from work, but...

- You're a thief.
- Yes, I'm a thief.

- Good morning. Oh. Okay.
- Morning breath.

Yeah, pumpkin-flavored.

Um, I was gonna make you
coffee 'cause I thought,

you know, you're sick
of making... coffee.

- Yeah? Okay, good.
- Okay. Oh, that's really nice.

Thanks. Do you have
any contact solution?

Mama, do you want to
dress up for Halloween?

I found, I think it's Dorothy
from The Wizard of Oz...

Let me just finish her lip.

Okay, I see how it is.

Doesn't she look amazing? Look at this.

You look phenomenal.

Yeah, there you go. Check that out. Huh?

I'm so happy to see that
you're still faithful to Dolly Parton.

Oh, she's my higher power.

- Patty?
- Hmm?

- Ready for breakfast now?
- Yeah, sure am.

- Okay.
- Oh, happy Halloween.

Oh, also, the smoke machine
is gonna be delivered

- at noon to the bar.
- You look good.

- So, I'm gonna go sign for it.
- Cool, thanks.

- What were you last year, Ma? I forget.
- What? I don't know.

Hang on a second, I'll find a photo.

- Here you go.
- A photo?

A photo of what?

It's, uh... hold on.

I just got an email from the contractor.

F... Wh... What are you talking about?

Are you good with n/naka
tonight for dinner?

Uh, how am I supposed to eat this?

Do you need a... Could
you get her a spoon?

Oh, Patty, I'm sorry. Yeah, of course.

I don't have a spoon.

So?

Are you...

Are you good with n/naka? There you go.

Uh, yeah. God, Gloria is gonna
be here at four, and then, yes.

Okay.

Oh, she's gonna get cold
in that. Can I grab this?

- Hey. Hey.
- What?

Here, Mama. Let's get this on.

- What? For me?
- Yeah.

But that's not part of my costume.

Well, you'll just wear it for now, okay?

- How's that?
- Good.

You know what?
How about we go for a walk

around the reservoir
before Gloria gets here?

Just you and me, Dolly. What do you say?

I say, "Get my pocketbook."

Okay, then, Mama.

I'll get your pocketbook.
It's right here.

Tess?

Maybe we sit by the
water a little while, huh?

I'll see you... later? We'll touch base?

Yes.

Bye.

You look just like the real Dolly.

Oh, get out of here.

Okay, so I made
a whole list of questions

for your coworker and their partner,

so when we get there,
I kind of figure that...

Ta-da.

- No.
- What?

No, I thought we nixed the avocado.

But you said you'd think about it.

Look, we're about to
meet the only trans,

- non-binary parents that we know.
- And?

And I don't want to
be there as an avocado.

I have questions about life insurance

- on the list.
- Except it's Halloween.

And I'm pretty sure their
family will be dressed up.

Okay, well, do you have

any other questions
that you want to add?

I mean, "Why is
my baby zaddy so fine?"

I'm serious, Maribel.

- What?
- Okay, just...

let me know if you
think of anything, okay?

And, uh, I'm sorry,

but it's a "no" on the
avocado. I love you, though.

- I do, I promise.
- No.

Come on, I need another half.

- Angie!
- Oh...

- Hi. Oh, my God, guess what?
- Hi.

I got my first professional gig.

- What? Oh!
- I'm a paid actor.

Oh! Oh, my God!

That's incredible. Bella.

I'm the only undergrad
freshman who made it.

Well, except for this one other person,

but who cares about her. You
have to come see me tonight.

It's one night only.

Oh, that's such a bummer.

I-I just... I-I can't.

- What? No.
- Yeah,

I have this... I have this
exam that I have to study for.

Yeah, but you always have to study.

It's like... you're missing college.

I-I know. I'm-I'm really sorry,

but, you know, I know
you're gonna kill it.

- Got to go, break a leg.
- Angie.

I'd like to do the
alternative assignment.

Okay, have you
decided which work you want to use?

R. erica doyle's proxy.

Right, okay. So...

all you have to do is re-imagine
that in a different medium.

You could do a movement piece,

a culinary work of art, a short film...

- See you, Hendrix.
- Hey, uh, have a good day, Ben.

Thanks.

- Happy Halloween.
- Hey, thanks. You, too.

Oh, are you going to the...

Hi.

How do you always smell so good?

Sorry, I... left my phone on the table.

All good, Ben.

See you.

You should've worn the avocado.

I stand by my choice.

- You know... I hope you're happy.
- Oh. Yeah, no. I-I...

Fuck!

Oh, shit. Fuck.

Micah, language.

Shoot, shoot, shoot.

I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Hey, I'm sorry. Are you okay?

- Oh, my God.
- You're okay, baby. Hey.

Hey, Maribel.

- Hey, you made it.
- Hi, Reese.

- This is Micah. Micah, Reese.
- Hi, nice to meet you.

- This is Phoenix.
- Hi, Phoenix. Hey...

- So sorry about your shoe.
- No, I...

Thank you for inviting us.

- Yes, of course. I'm happy you're here.
- Phoenix?

Oh, sweetheart.

- Here, go to nibi.
- Come here.

- This is my partner, Max.
- Hi.

- Hi. It's nice to meet you both.
- Yeah. No, uh, same. Yeah.

Are you all right? Does your tummy hurt?

All right, what do we
say we lay off the sugar

- for a little bit? Yeah? Cool.
- Okay.

And, um, if you follow me, I can
get you a wet wipe for that shoe.

I'm sorry, okay? I-I think I
made this all a lot worse.

Not at all.

Let me tell you, puke
is just a part of it.

- Yes.
- I mean, really. Yeah.

- Come with me.
- Okay.

Learning so much already.

Well, let's get you a drink.

- Yeah.
- Let's go.

It's good to see you out of the office.

Right?

But the publishing process just takes

so goddamn long that, by
the time my debut dropped,

I felt like a different writer,
and I can't even read it now, so...

Yeah, I'm glad nobody else read it.

- Mm... Mm.
- Stop.

- Yep.
- No. Stop.

I'm so sorry.

I'm, like, on chapter
six of the audio book.

Oh, my gosh. It's like you
are sniffing my dirty laundry.

- No.
- I love that for me.

No. What... um...

Um...

I'm sorry. I don't
think I should be here.

- What?
- Yeah.

No, no. It's okay.

Why'd you think I wanted to
go out on Halloween so bad?

I just thought you really
liked malt balls or something.

No, no, no, no. It is
because we can be us.

We're in disguise, and we're
gonna have a good night.

- Okay.
- Come on.

There's a haunted house.

Sorry, a what?

- Oh, my gosh.
- No, no, no, no.

- No, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, my God. Yes!

- Come on.
- Oh, my God.

- Okay.
- Come on, it's just

the drama department. It's
not gonna be scary at all.

Uh...

Okay. Um, but, if I
see a clown... Mm-mm.

There's not gonna be a clown.

- Are you sure?
- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Can...

How do you see where
you're stepping? Like...

- She's cute.
- Duh. She looks like a mistake.

Yeah, but, like, the good kind.

Hello?

- Shane? No.
- What? She's fucking hot.

Uh... She-She's
got a serious girlfriend.

Yeah, she'd probably still
sleep with you anyway.

Oh, shit. I don't fuck with that.

What are you starting rumors for?

She's with Tess. They're,
like, fucking married.

Come here, Finn.

I just think that, the other day, I...

What about her?

- I sort of, maybe, saw something and...
- No way. Bullshit.

You're nuts. Hey, uh,

these are from the
folks over in the booth.

Let me know if you guys
need anything else, okay?

- Well, look at that.
- Oh.

- Cheers.
- Thank you.

Well, what am I? Fucking invisible?

- No. You're just not single.
- Mm.

Okay, but they don't know that.

What's wrong with me?

Well, the costume's not great.

- She's right.
- Oh, come on.

Are you kidding me right now?

Look at this shit right here.
Look at this gangster shit.

- Yeah, we're looking at it.
- It's not good.

I am "raining cats and
dogs." Meow, ruff, ruff.

- Definitely not.
- No.

Really? Come on,
it's funny. I made this.

- Yeah, I can tell.
- Aw, fuck.

Look, you're hot, but the costume's not.

Come with us. Let's-let's fix this.

All right. I spent
the whole day at Ross's

putting this together.
You know, in that section

where they got all
the crystals and stuff?

That's clear. Less
clothing, less is more.

It's Halloween.

So, they actually
carried our first child.

- Can you hold?
- Yeah, it was totally unplanned.

It was before Reese and I
were together. I was dating this

gay cis guy, and he was, like...

- he turned out to be the worst.
- Yeah, no, I, uh...

I dated one of those, too, so...

And our middle two is
from my first marriage.

- The boring old hetero way.
- And then we adopted Phoenix

from foster care last year.

- Hey, Phoenix?
- Yeah?

Honey, will you come and eat some

- of this turkey jerky?
- Thank you, nibi.

She is gonna crash big-time.

Wait, so do they call you both nibi?
Or where did that come from?

Oh, no, no, no. So, I'm
dama and Max is nibi.

- That's so cute.
- Yeah, we like it.

Yeah, we just sort
of figured, you know,

- "dad" is just a sound.
- Mm.

I mean, the meaning is totally made up.

Aw, that's really funny because,

for the longest time,
I thought "dad" was just

a person my mom made up, so...

- Same, honey.
- Right?

But, baby girl,

you got to get rid of that
shit before the baby comes.

Trust me, it'll hit you
when you least expect it.

Yeah, wow, um...

- That's a lot.
- Makes sense, though.

Are you two in therapy?

Uh, yeah, I mean, I am,

and, uh, I'm a therapist as well,
so I kind of live in that world.

- Oh.
- Yeah, no, I do not.

We just found it so helpful

to get on the same
page about everything.

You know, parenting...

And life. So much pops up,

so it's just so much easier

if you have the same
shared guiding principles.

Oh, we have one.

- "Don't drop the baby."
- Girl.

Obviously, don't drop the baby.

- You better quit playing.
- I'm not gonna drop the baby.

But, like, no, what happens if we do?

I mean, generally, they'll be all right.

Yeah, they bounce right back.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- What?

Oh, my God. Calm down.

- What?
- You're screaming.

You're like...

Stop. You should've seen your face.

You were like, "Oh, my
God. Hold me, help me."

Why you looking at me?

You just screamed...

I wasn't like that.

Okay, you were squeezing my arm

so hard, I thought you were trying

- to take my blood pressure.
- No, I wasn't.

Okay. Oh, my gosh.

Well, either way, I just have to say,

that was the most fun I've had

- in a really long time.
- Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Me, too.

- G!
- Oh, my God.

- Shit.
- I knew that was you.

You play too much, acting like
you weren't gonna come see me.

Oh, my God, surprise.

- I'd never miss your first gig.
- Who's that guy you're kissing, hmm?

Oh, I don't know. Just...
some guy I met in line.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Sorry.

Congratulations,
though. That's... great.

- You know, I'll-I'll see you at home.
- Okay.

See ya.

Ugh, that was close. I
don't think she saw us.

Um...

- I'm sorry. Um...
- What?

Is something wrong?

Is it, like... is it, like,
awkward, um...

that I'm, like, your teacher?

No. 'Cause when we met, you weren't...

- Yeah. Right, right.
- You... We weren't.

Yeah.

- But I like you.
- I like you, too.

Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna need some help.

- Hey.
- Hey, um, so bit of a snag.

- Um, they sent a new nurse.
- Okay.

It's not Gloria, it's, um... Hold on.

Hey, what was your name again?

- Uh, Victor.
- Victor.

- They sent Victor.
- All right, well, then,

get him situated, and then
come down here and meet me.

- No, I don't think that I can do that.
- Tess, it's dinner.

It's gonna be a few
hours. It's just that.

Okay, no, you're not listening to me.

I'm not gonna leave my
mom alone with a stranger.

But he's not a stranger, he comes
from the same agency Gloria...

Okay, look, I said that
I'm not doing it, okay?

- All right.
- Okay.

- I got to go.
- Do you want...

Hello?

All right, how are you gonna
make me look hotter?

- Not Seth.
- Yeah.

- For starters. Yeah.
- What?

- Oh, my God.
- What about this thing?

I think we can split it at the seams.

- What? Split it?
- Okay.

Are you serious?

Oh, my...

- So much better. That's nice.
- Bye.

- Pilates arms.
- You guys...

I love that. That looks really good.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

The costume doesn't
even make sense anymore.

You got to show a little skin, baby.

Didn't make sense to begin with.

What are you talking about?

Look at that, spooky.

At least now, you...

can have some swag for Halloween.

- Oh, my God.
- Look at that.

Is it better, really?

Pssh. You look...

- Sexy.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

All right, I'm gonna go
pee. It's gonna take me

a minute to get these pants back up.

You do look cute, for real.

- Excuse me.
- What?

- She is into you.
- What? No.

Yeah, she wants to
fuck. She wants to go.

No, no. She's like that with everyone.

- No, she is not.
- Yeah, she is.

Stop it. Trust me, she's into you.

Get it.

Okay, let's game plan.

If we don't like any
of the prospects here,

there is a rooftop screening of Bound

on the Eastside. Could be some cuties.

Or we could Uber to the WeHo Carnaval.

Uh, that might be a shit show.

I think I heard about
a block party in Venice.

- We could check that out...
- Do you, uh,

want to... go home with me?

To watch reruns of One Tree Hill or...

I'm... yes, but, uh, no.

I mean, like, you know,
I'm single, you're single.

- Could be fun?
- I'm halfway out the door, baby.

Okay. Let's do it.

_

- Hey, uh... you good?
- Uh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

- What do you mean you want to go?
- I'm tired.

It's early, though. I mean,
it's, it's not even eight.

Look, I didn't come
here to get interrogated.

I just... Can we just go home, please?

I haven't even gotten
through half of my questions.

I don't know. Just Google them.

You know you can't really
Google these kinds of questions.

Honestly, I didn't know that
they were gonna be this nosy.

Yeah. No, I know, but... I
don't know, I still like 'em.

And, look, I... This is
important, you know, for me.

Babe, I know.

You should stay, though,
but I'm gonna go home, okay?

- Okay. Yeah, okay. Love you.
- Love you, too.

Excuse me.

- Um, can I have a cupcake?
- Hi. Want a cupcake?

- Yeah.
- Okay, yeah, for sure.

Here you go. Happy
Halloween. Love your costume.

- Thank you.
- Wow. A princess.

Oh, God.

Oh, God, it's gonna get bad.

Oh...

- Oh, it's bad.
- Mm.

- It's bad.
- Oh, yeah, it's so bad.

- Are you not watching?
- Oh, no, no, I totally am.

Are you asleep? Oh, my God.
This has happened to me before.

Okay, it's just, my-my
eyes are burning like hell

because I've been in the
same contacts for 48 hours.

Well, why don't you just take it out?

Because one of them now
feels like it's, like,

- lodged up in my brain or something.
- Why didn't you tell me?

Because you wake up looking like
you're in a tampon commercial.

Okay, is that a compliment?
'Cause that kind of feels

- like it could go either way.
- It's just, you're like...

you're like this perfect person.

- Ah...
- And-and I drool, and...

What was that?

I-I don't know 'cause I can't see.

Maybe a squirrel?

Okay, that's-that's not a squirrel.

Okay, okay.

- Oh, my God. What? What? Wait.
- Somebody's trying to break in.

- No. You serious?
- Find my phone. Find my phone.

- Find my phone.
- I don't have your phone.

Fuck! It's in the kitchen.

- Don't worry. It is just me.
- Oh.

Thank God it was just you.

Oh, wait, wait, wait,
wait. I got you something.

- What?
- Wait, wait, wait.

Bam.

Come on.

- You didn't have to get me anything.
- Oh, I did. I really did.

- So they have your initials...
- Oh, wow.

On the inside. I don't know.

I just saw them. I thought of you.

I thought they were amazing, and

- you owe me a fucking haircut, so...
- You're right, I do.

I really do.

I should move that. Yeah.

- All right.
- Mm-hmm.

Don't laugh at me.
I'm trying to be sexy.

How can 911 be busy?

It's Halloween. I mean, this
is the Super Bowl of mischief.

We should've gone out.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Just deep breaths, okay?

- Okay.
- Breathe.

My mother warned me. She warned me not

to turn my panic room
into a wine cellar.

I should have listened.

- Oh, fuck, we're gonna die!
- All right, you know what? Fuck it.

- I'm gonna go check it out. Oh.
- What?

I can't see my own death coming anyway,

and if it does happen,
then you'll have time

- to run out the back.
- Taylor?

Taylor? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Care... No. Oh, Taylor, be care...

Ow!

- Oh! Fuck. Fuck.
- Oh, fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Happy Halloween.

- I think it came back to haunt you.
- When we tell this story,

we're gonna tell it really differently.

Oh, hell no, uh-uh.
We're telling it

- just like it happened.
- No.

- Mmm.
- What was that for?

Well, you were gonna save my life.

Yeah. Yeah, you know what?

- I was gonna save your life.
- You like me.

Of course I like you.

You're hiding medical
emergencies from me.

Well, you know what?

I've been at your house for three days,

and you have never once
had anything in your teeth.

You-you wore white pants and
ate a whole plate of nachos,

and you didn't spill a drop. I mean...

who are you?

I can show you who I am.

I just didn't know if
we were, you know, there.

Yeah. Exactly. I mean,
I didn't know either.

But are we?

You gonna let me take that
contact out of your eye?

Oh, my God, would you, please?

Yeah, doesn't look so good.

- I need to go to the bathroom.
- Okay.

Come on, let's get you up.

Come on.

- Oh. I can use the thing.
- The bedpan? No. Remember?

The doctor said that it's
good for you to get up

- and move around? Oh.
- No, no, no.

I can use the bedpan.

No, you're not gonna use the
bedpan. The doctor said to get up.

Come on, we can do this. Come on.

- Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh.
- Oh, sorry.

Oh, God. No, you can.
Come on. The doctor said

it's good for you to
get up and move around,

- so we can, we can do this.
- Oh, stop. Stop.

Mom, why are you fighting me?

I don't want to be your patient.

- Mom, I don't mind.
- Victor! Victor?

- Yes?
- No, Victor, we're fine.

- You sure?
- We don't, we don't need Victor.

I'm-I'm right here.

I don't want you. I want Victor!

- What's going on?
- Victor, come here!

- It's... We're...
- She's trying to kill me.

No, I'm not. I'm not. Okay?

We've done this before.
We can... you know,

I'm gonna get you up and you're
gonna go to the bathroom, okay?

Come on.

- Come on. Come on.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You need to let me go.

Oh, oh... let me go.

- Let me go.
- Okay.

- Oh, this is not right.
- Okay, I'm sorry.

I want to go live in the nursing home.

No, you... no, you don't.

- No, you don't.
- I know what I want,

and it's not this.
It's not this, Theresa.

- Um...
- It's not this.

- Okay. Okay.
- Victor. Victor.

Okay. Um...

She... There's a...

- I-I know.
- Okay.

- I-I saw them. I got this.
- Okay.

You're good. You're okay.

- Boo!
- Jesus Christ.

You really scared me.

They, uh, they stripped me down

so you could see a little more skin.

- Oh, did they?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God.

- You like it?
- Yeah, you look sexy.

Oh, thank you.

Mmm...

- Hey.
- Hey.

I'm sorry I didn't tell
you about Shane earlier.

It was stupid.

What? Why are you doing this?

I talked to Shane. It's... She didn't...

Well, um...

She's probably hiding
it from you because...

she's embarrassed about what she did.

I mean, she can't just
come out and say it.

She's ashamed.

Is that what it felt
like for you with me?

Um... yeah. I-I guess.
I mean, still does.

- So, why do you do it?
- That's not something that I do.

I mean, I have done it, but...

- I don't know about that.
- You don't know about what?

I just mean, like, you know,
you kind of have a pattern.

I do not have a pattern.
I made a mistake.

You cheated on your girlfriend
before Dani, too, with Dani.

Yeah, I was 20 years old.

And then you slept with
someone while I was in rehab.

It's not not a pattern.

Is that what you think about?
When you think about me?

No. Mm...

- I have to answer that again.
- Um... Sometimes.

Wow. So this is why
we're not having sex.

What? What does that have to do with...

All this fucking bullshit is sitting

between you and me all the time.
And you can't see me.

You can only see the
people that I've fucked

and the mistakes that I've made.

And then you look at me
like I'm fucking crazy

for following the
rules that you made up.

But I'm here. I'm still here.

And I can't do anything but
wait for you to trust me.

So, tell me, Fin, when are
you gonna stop punishing me?

I don't want to punish you.

- That's not...
- You know...

- I'm just gonna go home.
- Wow.

Fuck.

Here you go.
Have a great night, okay?

Thank you.

- You're not leaving, are you?
- Uh, yeah. Yeah, I...

- I am.
- Damn.

I was just gonna ask if
I could buy you a drink.

Um...

I have a girlfriend.
But... thank you. Really.

- Have a good night.
- Have a good night.

Thanks for coming.

Hey, thanks for having us, Max.

- See you, buddy.
- Thanks.

Good night. See you soon.

- Hi.
- Oh, hey. Great.

You guys are still here.

Yeah. Yeah, uh, well, Maribel
had to call it a night.

But, um... I still have,

like, a laundry list of
questions about parenting

and I just thought, well,
maybe you're open to it,

and if you weren't too
tired, we could grab a beer

and you could answer some more?

- Sure. I'd love to.
- Yeah? Awesome.

- Definitely.
- Thank you. It's, um...

I don't know, I-I-I know
that we don't really...

- know each other, but, um... this is...
- It's special. This.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
exactly. Exactly. It is.

I mean, it is for me, too.

- Really?
- Yeah.

'Cause... I'm the one
who gets to tell you

how great it's gonna be.
Your whole life.

You get to reinvent
everything for yourself

and be your own kind of...

your own kind of parent
and your own kind of man.

Yeah, I'm excited for you.

Wow.

Uh... it's a, it's a little
harder to cry now, on "T," but...

Oh, yeah. I know that.

So glad to meet you.

- I appreciate that.
- Let me just make sure

Reese is all good with the
kids and then we'll head out.

- Sound good?
- Sure. That sounds perfect.

- Awesome. I'll be right back.
- Okay.

Hey.

I trusted you.

I defended you. I just, I...

- I don't know who you are anymore.
- It's like...

Tess is fucking perfect, man.

- Mm.
- And when I see you two,

I'm like, "Holy shit, that's it.

That's-that's, that is what I want.
That makes perfect sense."

And then you have to
go shit all over it.

I saw you, Shane.

Oh, my God. I got to... get out of here.

I looked up to you,

and you're a real
fucking disappointment.

Hey.

- You like the view?
- It's not bad, not bad.

The view is even nicer than I thought.

Meow.

- Ah. Ow.
- Oh.

I'm sorry. You okay?

Yeah. This, uh... this
earring... it stuck me.

It's all good.

Do you want to put some
music on? What's up?

Uh...

- Sorry.
- You okay?

What's going on?

Um, I...

I think I'm, I think I'm still
in love with my ex-girlfriend.

Shit.

- Sorry.
- Okay.

Um... it's okay, man.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, honey.

- Have you cried about it yet?
- No.

No? Oh, okay, here.

Put my leg around you.

Come here. You got to let it out.

Come on.

Let it out.

What's wrong with me?

Nothing.

There's nothing wrong with you.

It's okay, baby.

Is this what you
imagined it would be like

for our first time hooking up?

Oh, oh, yeah.

The snot's a bit extra.

Ew.

God, you feel so good.

I know, these are the best kind of hugs.

Arms and legs.

Thank you.

- How's the eye?
- It's good.

- Oh, it's actually better.
- Oh, good.

Yeah.

- What do you got?
- Okay.

Ready? Um, all right.

I have to wear this every night

because I grind the
shit out of my teeth.

So...

Okay. All right, that's not a bad start.

- Need more?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Mm-hmm. Got it.

I have to wear these sometimes

because my neighbor
decided to sell their house

to the drummer of Maroon 5.

And I know everyone loves
that band, but I'm not a fan.

I'm gonna need some of those.

What else do I have? So
many things wrong with me.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, I know.

Um, when I'm really stressed out,

I have to watch clips
of The Voice Australia.

Okay.

I know that it's really

not good for the
environment and all, but...

Oh... what?

I love Styrofoam cups.

- Oh, I kind of unders...
- Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I get it. I get it.

I don't have a driver's license.

- What?
- Mm-mm.

Oh, we... Oh, wait. No. No. Mm-mm.

- What?
- No. One sec.

- Okay, I'm ready.
- Yeah, you are.

_

Shane?

- Max.
- Hey.

Oh, my God, Max. How you doing?

- I'm great.
- Wow, hi.

It's-it's wild to see you here.

This is my place.

- It is?
- Yeah.

- It's so nice. Wow.
- Thank you.

I'm so happy to see you doing so well.

Yeah, what has it been? Uh, I
mean, what are we going on?

- Twelve, 13 years?
- Yeah. About that.

I've-I've... so much has happened.

I feel like I've lived a thousand lives
since I've seen you last.

- Well, all good ones, I hope.
- Yeah.

- I've got four kids.
- What?

You have four kids? Are you serious?

Yeah. It's a madhouse for
sure. But... It's so joyful.

- Wow.
- What about you?

Did you settle down or are you
still being Shane?

Oh...

Yeah. No, no, no. No, I'm not.

I-I-I have a girl. You
know? She's-she's great.

- That's great.
- She's great.

- I'm happy for you.
- Thank you.

And it seems like you've changed
a lot, which is... it's cool to see.

So for what it's worth...

just want to apologize.

- For how we were back then.
- I'm great, man.

- Good.
- I'm happy and...

- I hope you're happy, too.
- I'm trying.

Good to see you, Max.
Really good to see you.

Listen, anything you'd
like tonight, please.

- On the house, all right?
- Good to see you.

- You, uh, you two know each other?
- Yeah. I mean, we used to.

- Yeah.
- Small world.

- Uh, here.
- Thanks.

I, uh, just had a few more questions

- if you've got some time still.
- Sure, yeah.

- Yeah?
- Should we sit down?

Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks.

All right, what... So, what do you got?

Well, uh, so, with the diapers...

how do you know when to change them?

Like, just when they smell or... ?

You know... listen. First off,

can I tell you something
that I wish I'd have known?

Yeah, yeah, God. Anything. Please.

Just don't forget to
have fun, too. Okay?

- Okay.
- What else?

Uh, well, okay, this one sounds stupid,

but I'm, like, I'm genuinely worried.
Like, what if the kid is weird?

Ugh, fuck this city on Halloween.

Rough night?

I spent two hours
waiting for an accessible Lyft.

- Where's Micah?
- Oh, he's talking to a real

smart-ass who told me to
resolve my daddy issues

- before I have a baby.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Wait, is there SweeTarts in there?
- Yeah. Um...

Yes.

- Do you think I'm like Dad?
- Fuck, I hope not.

I'm serious.

Do you think I'm, like... a cheater?

I mean, you do have a pattern.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

That's exactly what Finley said.

Whoa, okay, that is the only thing

Finley and I have in common.

- I fucking love her.
- I know you do.

You know, and I don't
want to be like Dad.

Can you believe that
bastard just left us?

Oh, my God.

They all leave. Fuck 'em.

But not Micah.

Mm-mm.

Micah is not Dad, okay?

Micah is...

... is a kind, sweet, anxious...

perfect person.

He ain't ever gonna leave you.

- Are you sure?
- Mm-hmm.

You could be nicer to him sometimes.

Okay.

- Sometimes.
- Mm.

You're not Dad.

But how do you... ?

How do you know for sure?

Bitch, 'cause I can see you.

Even when you can't see yourself.

- I promise.
- Mm.

Okay.

- I do have to tell you something.
- What?

SweeTarts is the dumbest
fucking candy to love.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

Wow.

_

_

Hey.

- How was the rest of the night?
- Good.

- Bella, you were so, so good.
- Mm-hmm. Okay.

So... who's the guy?

- Uh... what guy?
- Come on, G.

Don't be like that. I
thought we were friends.

You look so intimidating

- with this makeup on.
- I know.

- Okay.
- Spill.

It's just the fact that it's
really new and nobody knows...

about it yet.

- Okay.
- A secret boyfriend. Yes!

Okay, wait, tell me everything.

Okay, what do you want to know?

Everything.

Go.

- He's my creative writing instructor.
- Girl!

Oh, my!

Yeah?

This is a scandal I am
here for, so please spill.

So good.

Oh, it's burnt.

- Whoops.
- Okay.

Thank you for coming home.

- Huh. Anything for you, baby.
- So what's next?

Mm, my brother just
bought a boutique hotel

on the beach in Costa Rica.

- Might help him set it up.
- Okay.

And, um... why don't
you just stay in L.A.?

'Cause you're not
ready to be my wife yet.

Okay. Really, though.

No, I-I'm being real.

Call me when that heart
heals. I'll come running.

- Hey, mami... you know what?
- What?

- Hey, mami
- You sexy.

- Oh!
- Hey, mami...

- Oh.
- Remember?

- This is the... Okay, hold on.
- Yeah, yeah.

- This is what I know. What?
- ♪ Hey, mami, you sexy ♪

- Okay.
- You got it? Whoa.

- Whoa.
- Oh, yeah.

♪ Hey, mami, you beautiful ♪

♪ Hey, mami, you sexy,
hey, mami, you sexy ♪

♪ Hey, mami, you sexy ♪

♪ Hey, hey, can I get that number? ♪

♪ Hey, mami, you sexy ♪

♪ Hey, mami, you beautiful ♪

♪ Hey, mami, you sexy ♪

♪ British guys playin' rugby ♪

♪ Brooklyn boys who want to thug me ♪

♪ Skanky, cranky, foogly, oogly ♪

♪ Slammin' dudes that ♪

- ♪ Hey, mami ♪
- I fucking love you.

- ♪ Hey, mami ♪
- I love you.

You cute

You were right...

about everything.

I'm sorry.

I'm...

I want to trust you, I
just, I don't know how.

Well, we're gonna figure this out. Okay?

I just can't stop thinking
about this person you slept with

while we were on a break.

- They didn't mean anything.
- I know that,

but I think my imagination
is just way worse than the real thing.

Finley.

I know. But... Please.

Will you just tell me everything?

Okay.

My God, you look adorable.

Okay, pass me my phone. I need
to remember this moment forever.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Do you?
- Yes.

Okay, but it's just for you.

- Yeah, we'll see.
- Not even Sophie.

Um, I don't know about that.

Okay, go. Let's see.

Oh, amazing.

Look.

It should be fun.

It should be.

I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the ass.

It's okay.

Really, I mean, I had fun tonight.

- And... I really needed that.
- Yeah?

Yeah. You looked pretty good, too.

Thanks.

- Don't leave me, okay.
- I won't.

Not ever.

But be nicer.

- Can I take this off now?
- No. I kind of like it.

Okay, thank you.

All right, good night.

- Hey.
- Are you ready?

- Yeah.
- Mm.

As much as I'd like to...

I can't.

Maybe let's just...
let's not say anything.

Okay.

And let's just call
this exactly what it was.

And what was that?

An awakening.

For both of us.

You know, you really, um,
you brought me back to life.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

This meant... a lot to me.

No, I mean that, I mean that.

- So, please.
- Okay.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Take care.

Uh...

Fuck you, Shane.

- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.MY-SUBS.com --