Original subtitles

My friends, Doctor Doom is only a few miles away,

but this great wall will keep his villainous Lethal Legion

out of Super Hero City for good!

And maybe bring in some tourism dollars.

What do I know?

Sounds like Doom's already testing the wall out.

-I'm calling in my crew! -Iron Man, please!

I've stationed Cyclops, Beast, and a dozen S.H.I.E.L.D. agents

-up at the north end.

Remain calm, citizens.

Did you hear me? Remain calm!

S.H.I.E.L.D. has the situation under control!

As mayor of Super Hero City,

I now declare this impenetrable defensive wall open.

As I was saying, I'm getting the Super Hero Squad!

Whoa!

Why me?

With that Infinity Sword,

I will rule the Universe!

All right, Squaddies! Time to Hero Up!

I hate those Squaddies!

To me, Mjolnir!

Ha!

What dread foe doth vex the mighty Super Hero Squad?

Whatever it is, it's big!

Oh, you have no idea.

Iron Man! These giant critters could plow the whole blamed city under!

Critters not giant.

-Only yea big. -Uh, Hulk, trust me.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Shelter is this way.

Quickly and calmly, people. Hup! Hup! Hup!

The Starkutron 3000.

It calculates thousands of variables.

Hulk don't understand.

So say we all.

Oh. Iron Man chooses from billions of combinations

of our abilities to select the best team

with which to stop these creatures.

That is so cosmic.

We need every bit of my tech factor,

Hulk's strength factor, Thor's elemental factor,

Falcon's speed factor, the Surfer's energy factor,

and Wolverine's animal factor.

I could've told you that, Bub.

Giant monsters, everybody plays.

Not giant. Yea big.

-Puny? -Mmm, negative, Hulk.

That's Megataur, Tricephalous, and Manoo on the move.

Three of Mole Man's creatures.

It's no surprise. He's working for Doc Doom.

Almost every super villain is.

Ever since the Infinity Sword shattered

in that air battle between Doctor Doom and Iron Man

and the pieces fell on the city.

Yeah, now any of Doom's bums

grabs hold of one of those fractals,

he gets a chunk of the sword's cosmic power.

So? We grab the fractals first,

before Doom rebuilds the Infinity Sword

and takes over the universe! Yada, yada, yada!

Right now, we got monsters!

Roger that! Good luck, Squaddies!

Super Hero Squad, unless Ms. M's packing

a 30 foot bullfighter's cape, it's time to Hero Up!

I'm with you, big man. Follow them.

Ugh. Through the door?

Look down there, Hulk!

Whoa, monster's not puny.

Now only Bird puny!

Hey, hey, I'm 5'11", okay?

The Cap always told me, it's not the size of the dog in the fight,

it's the size of the fight in the dog.

I hear ya.

Lot more to a scrap

than who's the biggest and strongest.

-Who say? -I do!

Whoa!

Uh!

Always all about you.

There they go,

Iron Man and his so-called heroes.

Stark dared to challenge Doom

over the Infinity Sword,

and now he pays dearly.

Oh, Mole Man, you serve me well.

These monsters of yours could flatten the city.

Ah, believe me, Doctor Doom...

Tricephalous, Megataur, and Manoo

have enough power and more.

Excuse me.

As long as the cursed Super Hero Squad is distracted,

my true plan lies elsewhere. I--

-Ahh!

When I'm on the surface, I tend to...

depressurize?

Aah!

Well, then, return underground

and retrieve the fractal you have discovered.

Uh! It must be...

oh, a very powerful fractal indeed

to have driven itself so deep into the ground.

With my creatures on the loose,

I can excavate in peace.

I will gather these wayward shards

of the Infinity Sword,

and Doom will prevail!

And you will be amply rewarded,

even more so if my enemies are destroyed.

You are too generous, Doom.

Oh!

Abomination!

Open a window!

Huh?

We'll clear the area before we throw down with Loogie-Zilla.

Ladies and gentlemen, time to play

that great new game that nobody likes.

Confuse A Creature!

Whoa. The creature does not seem confused.

Even this thing's not dumb enough to let us braid its necks.

Ha!

Look out!

Hey! No rubberneckin'!

Take him, Surfer!

Good work, team!

Okay! Take him, Hu--

Hulk? Hulk! Where'd you go?

You better not eat that!

-Uh!

Bull strong! Hulk is stronger!

-Stay clear! -Storm?

Where you been, darlin'?

Uh!

Ooh, oucheth.

Foul creature!

Thou flesh-dissolving protoplasm! Ha!

You don't have to call me names.

Hey, Thor. I'm picking up some funky subterranean heat readings

deep in the earth.

Mole Man's got something big moving around down there.

If a fractal impacted deep in the earth,

'twould fall to Mole Man to retrieve it.

And we all know that an impacted fractal can be painful.

-Uh... -Back soon!

-Ms. M? I'm taking a crew underground. -Now?

We can beat 'em with my trusty Starkutron 3000.

-Hulk! Hulk! Give me that! -Uhh...

Now that everybody's evacuated to shelters,

we've got a chance.

And here comes headcase! Get ready.

Falcon, you're with me and Wolvie.

Don't call me Wolvie!

Welcome to Lava Lab 2.

-Lava? As in lamp? -As in lava.

It's a probe I built to explore under the earth's crust.

Sulfur.

We're takin' the fight to the Mole Man.

Exactly. Time to play Whack-a-Mole!

Are we there yet?

This tin can's a little cozy.

Its cozier outside.

Redwing, buddy.

Give me a flyby of the city.

And no decorating the statues downtown.

Watch the blades, watch the blades!

Dumb man doesn't hide.

That did it, Hulk!

Aah!

Storm!

-Ouch. -Enough recon.

Go on home, Redwing.

Worry about the citizens in those S.H.I.E.L.D. Shelters!

We're holding our own topside,

but there's no sign of the fight slowing down.

We need to find the fractal.

They're usually impossible to detect.

Except this one went deep into the rock.

Must have left a borehole for us to follow.

Sonar, heat scans, and flatulence detectors

all point to Mole Man.

And he's been using heavy equipment to get to it.

I can bring us to within, oh, 50 yards or so.

When?

Now!

Back! Back!

I'll take it from here!

-And there it is. -I got this.

Let's do this, Stinky.

Not so fast!

Ah! Spin-a-mole!

Ah!

You're not good enough!

Why do people always underestimate me?

H'ya! Ha! Ya!

-Uh!

This is one fractal Doom doesn't get.

Doom?

-Uhh! -Ahh!

Uh!

To the abyss with Doom!

I'm keeping the fractal!

It's working!

Speed boost! Perfect!

Hold still! Uhh!

And I sense another change!

My pets no longer respond to my voice.

Whoa!

I now have direct mind-control over them!

Meet my excavation crew!

The most feared creature above or below ground,

Fing Fang Foom!

Whoa. When I said heavy equipment,

I was really low-balling it.

Now to the surface!

There, I will personally manipulate my monsters

into destroying Super Hero City

and taking over the Lethal Legion!

You wanna be Doc Doom? Ew.

Uh, dude. Have you seen his stuff?

I mean, he has a Quantum-tunneling popcorn popper.

Delicious popcorn two seconds before you switch it on.

You know, that is pretty cool.

I'll have the Lethal Legion, find all the fractals,

forge a new Infinity Sword,

and with the Sword, I'll rule the surface world!

Me! Not Doom!

Uh!

But first, I'll leave Fing Fang Foom with a little thought.

You're very hungry.

Guys, I'm gonna make this right.

Moley Frijole shouldn't have gotten that fractal from us.

I was there too, ya know.

Oh, please, no blaming yourselves.

Lava Lab 2 doesn't stock any barf bags.

Seems to me like Lava Lab 2 is no improvement

over Lava Lab 1.

Uhh, a little bit. Lava Lab 1 melted.

-Whoa! -Luckily, we worked that bug out.

Hold him there, Hulk!

Hulk not hold.

Hulk throw!

Ouch. Is that what humans mean

by "pain in the neck?"

At last, we have the upper hand!

Mole Man?

Look you well!

He hath been made anew by yon Infinity Fractal!

-Uh!

Hulk! Get those shelters away from Manoo

before he dissolves them.

-Goo hurt friends!

No!

Whoa!

Uh!

They are all my puppets!

It's too easy!

Happy! Happy! Happy! Happy!

Such a treat for this bad boy!

This city is mine!

Whew! Getting his powers plussed,

did not improve Moley's sunny personality.

Or his sense of rhythm.

Hey, guys, we've got another problem!

-Ah...

You can't win because I have the fractal.

And I have the monsters.

And I have the hostages.

Whoa! There's people in those shelters!

And if Moley juggles as bad as he dances...

You are not cleared to move the Helicarrier!

Hold on, Ms. M.

The Squad doesn't work for you.

You're not my boss. Just my landlady.

Oh, really?

Well...

Falc, what're you doing? Get back in the fight.

Sorry, Tony. I'm not the biggest and the strongest,

but I'm the one who can end this now.

My bad!

Oooh!

Uh!

No!

That wasn't me.

Nice one, Falc!

Yeah! Way to go, Falcon!

Huzzah!

Nice job, Falc!

Bird, friend.

Regroup, Squaddies.

That breaks Mole Man's control,

but we still have four monsters in the city.

-And they're hungry! -Hungry, you say?

Lo, a plan doth spring to mind.

Storm, Thor has need of thy aid.

A grocery?

Oh, well done, Thor!

Nay, not well done, but medium rare.

-Come on, Lord of the Dunce.

No!

My-- my monsters!

They're probably a little busy wrecking your underground headquarters.

Come on, Guacamole Man,

We're taking you and your fractal right to the vault.

One less fractal, one less maniac to worry about.

Fools!

You have none to worry about but Doom!

He will be dealt with...

And one day, I will come for the Infinity Fractal as well.

Doom has spoken.

And is Doom done now? Good. Anyway...

Send me Falcon!

Falcon, Ms. Marvel's waiting for you back at the Helicarrier.

Hup! Hup! Hup! To the Helicarrier!

-Hup! Hup! Hup!

Uh-oh.

I've got half a mind to take S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Helicarrier

away from you loose cannons!

See Thor, you said we should've called no take-backs.

This is a billion dollar sky-base, Falcon!

Oooh, dang.

Leave bird alone, yellow hair! Bird is smart!

Bird hit monsters with boat!

Uhh, you big green...

You're in charge here, Tony.

Tell me why I should let this continue.

Look, Miss. Can I call you Miss?

We're up here to get to the fractals before Doom.

And we did it! Now, go do your job and let us hammer out the dents.

I'm watching you hot dogs. Don't forget it!

Uhh. Get out of my way!

-Bye, mom!

Whatever works, Falcon.

It's funny. All your data factoring

never took into account what can be accomplished

by one committed person acting completely insane.

Actually, the Starkutron 3000 predicted you would.

Right, right. Well, didn't your machine also say

that Hulk is Yellow Hair's boyfriend?

-Dumb machine says that? -Hulk! No!

Dumb machine lie!

Ah! Look out!