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A baby?

I'm not having a baby. What on earth gives you that idea?

I'm not listening to this. This is quackery.

But you're about to give birth.

Are you out of your mi…

Mrs. Wormwood, you're having a contraction.

I'm not having contractions.

Contractions are for pregnant women…

…who are having ba… …bies!

I'm having a stinking baby!

What?

A girl.

What, you mean my son is a girl?

I mean that your daughter is a girl.

Yeah, but the balloons, Doctor. I mean…

the balloons, they say "boy."

Mr. Wormwood, your wife has just given birth to a beautiful, healthy,

happy little girl. She's perfect.

This is fantastic news.

Everything all right, Matilda?

Yes, thank you, Mrs. Phelps.

Only, it's sort of closing time.

Oh, right.

I could stay while you pack up?

When I say "sort of," I mean an hour ago.

I already have packed up.

You looked so peaceful I didn't want to disturb you.

But I just know your parents cannot wait to have you back home.

Oh, yeah, they love me home.

Just… love me at home.

Oh, no, it's a disaster, Harry!

We forgot to send it to school!

He goes to school all the time, don't you, boy?

I'm a girl, and no, I don't. I've never been to school.

-Where d'you get all the books from? -From the library.

What, they're doing books now?

Oh, you are such an idiot!

What, me? I've got a business to run.

It's not my job to look after brats.

Haven't I got enough stress, what with all this debt you've put us in?

That I've put us in?

Yeah, yeah, you. Don't you get it?

We're trapped in the chains of debt.

And you, you expect me to escape like I'm some kind of…

flaming escapologist!

Escapologist, is it? Well, I have a whole house to run.

Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know.

Hello?

-Who the flaming flip's that? -I was gonna tell you.

The school inspector's here. He's in the dining room with some floozy.

What are we going to do?

Well…

Dr Martin Luther King once said, "A lie cannot live."

Yeah. Yeah, we'll lie our way out of it.

Like what that doctor said.

Home schooling, uh, yeah.

We homeschool that one.

It's all the rage these days.

You know, what with being a businessman and an entrepreneur.

Well, then, I understand rage.

Okay…

And what kind of education does she receive here?

Well, I do makeup and Harry does welding.

Matilda, isn't it?

My name's Miss Honey.

So you've been homeschooled, have you?

We were wondering if you'd like to come to be school-schooled.

We're a few weeks in already,

but, uh, we've another girl who's missed the start of term too.

You could just join her.

What's it like?

School-school.

Uh… sometimes it can be intense.

But I promise you my class is just fun.

I'll teach you all about history and music and literature--

Literature! So, books then?

At school, we have loads of books. Full of stories.

And we'll even teach you how to write your own.

How does that sound?

All right, look, look, look, I'll sort this.

I'd better go.

Hm.

Once upon a time…

there was a little girl…

who was trapped.

I can't believe that! Talking to me like that.

How dare they! I'm getting fined because of you!

It's not my fault!

You forgot to send me to school.

Yeah, well you're going to school now, and you're gonna meet The Trunchbull.

The Trunchbull?

Agatha Trunchbull. Headmistress of Crunchem Hall.

Big, strong, scary woman she is.

Used to compete in the Olympics. Yeah, throwing the hammer.

And guess what I just did?

I called her and told her

what a nasty little, troublemaking goblin you are.

No!

Oh, she is so looking forward to meeting you!

-That's not fair!

It's not right!

That oughta teach you, ruining our life!

Yeah, disgusting little gargoyle.

What have you done to my hair?

Oh.

Why d'you want it green anyway? Is it a circus thing or…?

What circus thing?

This escapologist you keep going on about.

Does he have green hair?

There is no escapologist, and I keep telling you I didn't do it.

Escapologist… Escapologist…

Once upon a time, there was a great escapologist.

He was so kind.

The sort of man any child would love to have as their father.

And one day he fell in love with…

an acrobat.

Matilda?

Hello, Mrs. Phelps!

School doesn't start for another hour yet, does it?

Oh, I'm early because of… excitement.

Miss Honey's gonna teach us to tell stories.

But I think I've got one already.

I can feel it sort of wriggling in me.

-Like it's bursting to get out. -Well, I think if it's bursting,

you should probably tell it as soon as possible, don't you?

I'll get us some lemonade.

But it might be a bit… intense.

Matilda Wormwood, stories are my business. I think I'll be fine.

Once upon a time,

the two greatest circus performers in the world…

an escapologist, who could escape from any lock ever invented,

and an acrobat, who was so skilled,

it seemed she could actually fly,

-fell in love and got married.

Together they performed the most incredible feats anyone had ever seen.

People would come from miles around.

Kings, queens, celebrities and astronauts.

But despite their love,

despite their fame, they were sad.

"We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife.

"But not the one thing in the world we want most.

We do not have a child."

"Patience my love,"

the husband replied. "Time is on our side.

Even time loves us."

But time is the one thing no one is master of.

And as time passed, they grew quite old and still,

no child.

The sadness of living alone in their big, empty house

drew them on to ever more dangerous feats,

as work became the only place to escape the inescapable sorrow of their lives.

And so it was, they decided to perform

the most dangerous feat ever in the world, ever!

It is called…

Said the acrobat,

announcing the event to the world's press,

who had gathered to listen with bated breath.

The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air

With Dynamite in Her Hair

Over Sharks and Spiky Objects…

Caught by the Man Locked in the Cage and…

…it is the most dangerous feat ever in the world ever!

It is our destiny.

It is where the loneliness of life has led us.

Well, what happened next?

I… I don't know.

Not yet, anyway.

School's open. I'd better go.

But what about the rest of the story?

I'll tell you the rest tomorrow.

Tomorrow? But I'm over at the lake tomorrow.

The lake, okay.

Well, have a great day at school.

And… be careful in there.

Oh, I'm not worried.

If people do scary things to you, you can just do scary things back.

But Matilda, remember,

two wrongs don't make a right.

Unless they do.

In which case you've just made a right out of two wrongs.

Which has got to be good!

Is it your first day too?

Yes, I'm not worried, but I think Isaac might be.

What if we went in together?

Yep! That way me and Isaac can look after you if anything…

You know.

Oi, new kids!

Why?

Why? Did you hear what we said?

What's Phys-Ed?

Physical Education.

The Trunchbull speciality.

Who are you?

We're prefects. We're here to take you to class.

So we're going to start learning?

Oh, you'll start learning, all right.

Great, I already know the alphabet.

You don't know the alphabet until we learn you the alphabet.

Why?

Why?

Didn't you hear what we said?

I have become aware that some of you are not yet in class.

Correct this.

You have five seconds to comply.

-Five.

-Four.

- Three.

-Two. -Lavender, Matilda, inside quick.

-One.

Hmm…

Yes, uh, Miss Trunchbull is keen on punctuality.

Best not to be late. Now, come and meet your new friends.

This is Lavender and Matilda.

And if there's anything too difficult,

just ask a classmate.

They'll help you. All right?

-Miss! -Hm?

It's hurting my head.

Oh, no, Nigel, that's not for you.

They use this classroom for grown-up lessons at night.

They must have left it up there.

Nigel. Nigel. Nigel.

Nigel.

Relax.

Well done.

Now, who would like to polish off what's on the board?

-Oh, me! -Miss Honey, me!

Matilda.

How about you?

So… today is reading.

Now, this book is actually for nine-year-olds…

but you're all doing so well…

that I thought we'd give this a try.

I'd like you all to read the first chapter.

-Eric, what is a chapter? -It's a chunk of a story, Miss.

Absolutely perfect, Eric.

What I'm hoping is that you can all read the first chunk,

then we'll discuss how…

Matilda, what are you doing?

Well, I'm polishing it off.

Like you said.

Oh… No, I meant polish it off.

Is that… correct?

Well, yeah.

And then I thought I may as well do the rest.

The rest?

You know, the prime numbers.

Where X is the square of AB reoccur.

So I realized they must have done it knowing it was part of a sequence.

Is maths your favorite thing?

It's okay. But what I really like is reading.

It's like a holiday in your head.

And do you do that a lot?

Get away from everything. In books, I mean.

Oh, yeah, I read loads this week.

Loads. In one week?

So, which books did you read this week?

Nicholas Nickleby, Jane Eyre,

Tess of the D'Urbervilles, Of Mice and Men,

The Lord of the Rings,

Moby Dick, Crime and Punishment,

and…

The Cat in the Hat.

Don't be pathetic.

-Enter.

Don't just stand there like a wet tissue, get on with it.

Yes, yes, sorry.

So, Miss Trunchbull, there is…

in my class, a girl called Matilda Wormwood and--

Matilda Wormwood, daughter of Mr. Harry Wormwood.

Excellent man.

He warned me about the brat though.

Said she's a real… wart.

No, Headmistress, I don't think--

No. No, you do not.

What is the school motto, Miss Honey?

Bambinatum est Maggitum.

Bambinatum est Maggitum. "Children are maggots."

Thank you for bringing this one to my attention.

I shall destroy it in due course. Good day.

Miss Trunchbull, it is my belief that Matilda Wormwood is a genius.

What? No. No.

Haven't I just told you? She is a gangster.

She can do maths in her head that I couldn't do with a calculator.

And the books she's read.

It is my opinion that she should be placed in the top form with the 11-year-olds.

Immediately.

But what about the rules, Honey?

I believe that Matilda Wormwood is…

an exception to the rules.

An exception?

To the rules?

In my school?

I-- I--

She's done it! She is the best!

Sing, children.

Two, three, four.

Sing, Jenny!

Now get out.

Wormwood.

Wormwood.

Where are you?

Do you want to hear about my first day at school?

-Yuck. I'd rather eat vegetables.

It's official, I'm a genius!

My losing streak is over.

This fella comes into the lot. Huge he was.

Great big bear of a man.

And this bear of a man wants a luxury car.

Oh, lovely. But do bears drive?

No. He's not a real bear.

Do you have a luxury car?

-I've got two, boy. -I'm a girl.

One with a smashed-in front, and one with a smashed-in back.

All I gotta do is cut them in half,

glue them together and Bob's your chipmunk.

Daddy's back.

But isn't that illegal?

And sort of, well, wrong?

-What'd he say? Wrong?

Wrong?

Give me that.

The Grapes of-- Idiot!

How can grapes be angry?

Hey? What utter junk!

It's not about grapes.

Back-yakking! The little madam!

I'm not back-yakking!

Don't you back-yak me!

I'll rip this book up in front of you.

-No, it's a library book! -Go on, do it.

Go on.

There!

-There!

Now get to bed, you little bookworm.

But remember Matilda, two wrongs don't make a right.

Ah, twit face.

"It's a library book. It's a library book."

Gripy little gremlin.

Where's my hat?

Here it is, Dad.

Big stupid.

But how do they all fit in there? Her head's the same size as mine.

Does it hurt, Matilda?

Having all those brains squished in there?

No. They seem to just…

fit in.

Can you do telekenipsis?

It's where you have loads of brains.

They squish out through your eyes,

and you can move things with your mind.

Look, watch this.

It's not good to try to be clever. Not here.

The Trunchbull hates kids being smart. She hates it.

Isn't learning what school's for?

This isn't a school. It's a prison.

You don't want to get noticed.

Not by Agatha.

They say she turned one kid inside out.

He had to walk around in cling film to keep his organs in.

That didn't really happen, Bruce.

But she definitely sat on a year seven until he was jelly.

She caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a licorice allsort in class.

She picked him up, swung him around and chucked him out of the window.

Look.

Teachers don't really throw children.

The big kids are just trying to scare you.

Scare, is it?

You don't know scared until you've been in Chokey.

What's Chokey?

Hide me!

Someone poured a can of treacle on The Trunchbull's chair.

She thinks I did, but I never!

Her knickers stuck to the seat.

Silence!

You're going to Chokey, kid.

But that's not right! He didn't do anything.

Take it from me. The boy's doomed.

Matilda, please help me.

Why not just tell her that…

Okay.

Look, when did this happen?

About 20 minutes ago.

But why?

You'd better hide. Quick, blazers!

-Please don't tell her where I am!

Run, run!

Hurry up!

-Be still, child!

What a repellent parade of imps and hobgoblins,

chitter-chattering away.

Where's the maggot known as Nigel?

Over there, under those blazers.

Where he's been for the last hour!

What?

Yeah.

You see, Nigel suffers from a rare but chronic sleep disorder, narcolepsy.

The condition is characterized by the sufferer

experiencing bouts of fatigue

and falling asleep without any warning.

He fell asleep and we put him in the blazers for safety.

Didn't we?

Didn't we?

I had the strangest dream, Mum.

I thought I was…

Oh.

Hello, Miss Trunchbull.

Amanda Thripp.

Y-- y-- yes, Miss Trunchbull?

What have I said about… pigtails?

I hate pigtails.

But my mummy likes them. She says they make me look pretty.

Well, your mother is a twit!

And here she goes!

-Look at that spin!

Oh, my word!

That's far! That's very…

…and we're there!

Yes! Still got it.

Check and see if that child is still alive, will you?

And what is your name?

Matilda.

Matilda Wormwood.

Oh! You're Wormwood, are you?

I like troublemakers, Wormwood.

They make such a lovely sound…

when they snap.

She's alive!

-Hip, hip! -Hooray!

-Hip, hip! -Hooray!

-Hip, hip! -Hooray!

Remember, Wormwood, you can never win.

I promise you that. And a promise is a promise is a promise.

And so the great day arrived.

The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air

With Dynamite in Her Hair

Over Sharks and Spiky Objects

Caught by the Man Locked in the Cage.

It was like the entire world had gathered to see the acrobat

and the escapologist's incredible death-defying feat.

Everything was arranged by…

the acrobat's evil stepsister.

A frightening woman who used to be an Olympic class hammer thrower.

People whispered that in her dark and brooding heart,

she resented her stepsister's success and love.

Suddenly…

out came the escapologist,

but there was no sign of the acrobat,

and no glimpse at all of the shiny white scarf she always wore.

Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls,

The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air

With Dynamite in Her Hair

Over Sharks and Spiky Objects

Caught by the Man Locked in the Cage

has been canceled!

Canceled because my wife is…

pregnant!

-Oh, Matilda.

Absolute… silence.

You could have heard a fly burp.

-Then suddenly, the audience… -Hip, hip!

…jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation!

-The great feat was instantly forgotten.

And the applause went on for over an hour!

Oh, Matilda, that's wonderful!

I love stories that end happily.

Forgotten by everyone except the acrobat's evil stepsister.

When all had quietened down she produced a contract!

-A contract?

A contract you have signed to perform this feat.

-And perform this feat, you shall! -No.

I've paid for the posters, publicity,

the catering, the toilet facilities.

If I give the crowd their money back,

where is my profit?

A contract is a contract is a contract.

My hands are tied.

The Burning Woman Hurling Through the Air

With Dynamite in Her Hair

Over Sharks and Spiky Objects

Caught by The Man Locked in a Cage will be performed,

and it will be performed this day!

Or off to prison you both shall go!

What… what happened next?

I dunno.

What? How can you not know?

It just comes to me in… fizzes.

Well, could you fizz up a little bit more for me? Now.

I don't think it works like that.

Of course it doesn't.

-Where is this coming from, Matilda? -What do you mean?

I mean, it's incredible.

But it's taking rather a dark turn.

Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more.

No, no, no. No.

We must find out how it ends.

All I'm saying is, is everything all right?

You could tell me.

I'd better go, Mrs. Phelps, Mum's waiting.

She gets so upset when she's away from me.

She says every minute is like an eternity so…

Is she coming here? Can I meet her?

Bye, Mrs. Phelps!

Matilda, tomorrow I'm at the windmill.

Okay, I'll find you.

I've got it.

-Harry! Let me have it!

Hang on then.

-You're hurting me! -Yeah. Hold on, hold on.

Let me pull, Harry.

Pull then!

Matilda.

I believe your mind is extraordinary.

So I'm taking things into my own hands.

Starting tomorrow,

I'm going to bring in a selection of very clever books.

You can sit and read them while I teach the others,

and if you have any questions, well…

I shall do my best to answer them.

How does that sound?

Matilda…

That is the biggest hug in the world.

You're going to hug all the air out of me.

What a touching little scene.

Move!

I believe I said this maggot was to receive no special treatment.

In fact, I seem to recall informing you

that this particular snot-ball was evil incarnate, did I not?

No, Miss Trunchbull, Matilda is not--

Did you just say "no," Jenny?

To me?

Matilda Wormwood is a criminal.

This morning,

a piece of my private chocolate cake was stolen.

It is my contention that you performed this vileness, Wormwood, you.

You have two choices, admit your guilt and be punished,

or call me a liar… and be punished.

Think very carefully

about what comes out of your mouth, Wormwood.

I did not stea--

Chocolate.

Bruce Bogtrotter.

Yes, Miss Trunchbull?

Thank you, Maurice, that will be all.

Staff dismissed. Come on. Everybody out. Everybody out, come on.

Move!

You liked my cake…

didn't you, Bruce?

Yes, Miss Trunchbull, it was very delicious.

So chocolatey.

And I'm really very sorry, I--

No, no…

Just so long as you enjoyed the cake. That's the main thing.

Is it?

Oh, Cook.

Be still!

What's the matter, Bogtrotter? Lost your appetite?

Don't worry… all you have to do is eat every last crumb.

And if you perform this incredible feat, I promise you,

all will be forgiven.

Every crumb?

-But I'm full. -Oh, no, you're not full.

I'll tell you when you're full. And I say that criminals like you

aren't full until they've eaten the entire cake.

-But-- -You haven't got time for "buts." Eat.

But I can't eat it all.

Headmistress, he'll be sick.

He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan

and decided to steal my cake.

-Eat. -He can't!

-Eat. -He surely can't!

-Eat! -He might explode!

Eat!

Go on, Brucie!

Uh… uh…

Sorry, Miss Trunchbull, I…

…got carried away.

Oh, that's okay, Jenny.

We all get carried away sometimes.

Even me.

Well, come along, Bogtrotter.

-What? -Oh, did I not mention?

That was the first part of your punishment, there's more.

There's a second part, and the second part is Chokey.

Miss Trunchbull, please, you can't! He's too young.

But I ate it all. I did it. Please!

Not that. Please!

-No!

You said if he ate every crumb he'd be forgiven.

He ate every crumb. We all saw it!

He did it in front of everyone!

You can't just change the rules.

That's not right. It's cheating!

You just said…

"No."

To me.

-Come on, Bogtrotter. -Please!

-Come on! -No!

Wormwood will be dealt with in due course.

As will the rest of these maggots.

I ate it. I ate it all.

No, please, Miss Trunchbull!

Not the Chokey!

I ate every crumb.

Please!

Not the Chokey! Please, not the Chokey!

You see, children, I will always win.

And you will always lose.

Because you are weak, tiny, titchy…

and insignificant.

Mrs. Phelps! Where's the revenge section?

Well, we don't have a revenge section. Is it a bully?

'Cause you know the best way to deal with bullies is tell someone.

Straight away. They thrive on silence.

Tell a teacher. Or better still, the headmistress.

I think I've got the next part of the story.

But I shall warn you,

it's about to get real.

Slowly, the acrobat tied her shiny white scarf

around her husband's wrist.

For luck, my love.

Then she hugged him with the biggest hug in the world.

So hard that he felt that she could hug all the air out of him.

And so they prepared themselves

for the most dangerous feat that had ever been performed.

The great escapologist had to somehow escape from the padlocks,

break free from the cage, and attempt to rescue his wife within 12 seconds.

Or she would be blown to bits!

The moment the fuse was lit, the acrobat swung into the air.

-One second, two seconds…

…the crowd held their breath

as she swung higher and higher above the sharks and spiky objects!

Three seconds, four seconds.

The evil sister looked on gleefully.

-Five seconds, six seconds.

The escapologist couldn't take his eyes from his wife

as he struggled in his chains,

knowing that the tiniest, weeniest mistake

would mean that he'd lose her and their child forever.

Seven seconds, and suddenly…

-She let go!

The escapologist reached out with one huge, massive arm

to catch his wife and the child.

-Eight seconds! -No, I can't look.

Nine seconds! Ten seconds! And…

And… And… Eleven seconds!

He grabbed the dynamite and flung it far, far away!

Hurray! So this story does have a happy ending after all.

No.

No, it doesn't.

No! Was she okay? Did she survive?

She broke every bone in her body.

Except the ones at the ends of her little fingers.

She did manage to live long enough to have their child.

But the effort was too great.

Love our girl.

Love our daughter with all your heart.

She is all we ever wanted.

And then she died.

And then…

things got worse.

What? Worse?

I'm afraid they did.

Because the escapologist was so kind

that he never for one second blamed the evil stepsister for what happened.

In fact, he asked her to move in and help look after his daughter.

No, no, don't ask her to move in.

She was nothing but cruel to the little girl,

making her wash and clean all day long. Shouting,

"Clean the floor and I'll be nice!"

When the little girl did clean it, she was even crueler

because she was a terrible, terrible cheat!

I hate cheats!

All in secret, so the escapologist never suspected a thing.

And so the poor little girl grew up with the meanest, cruelest,

horriblest aunt you could possibly imagine!

Let's call the police!

Mrs. Phelps.

It's just a story.

What?

Oh. Yes, of course.

A story.

It's just, you make it so real.

Your mind, Matilda.

Your parents must think they've won the lottery with a child like you.

Oh… they do.

They're always saying that.

In fact, they say,

"We're so proud of you, Matilda, you're like winning the…"

Yeah. I'd better go.

It's just like winning the lottery!

What?

Me?

You? No, you're like eating someone else's bogeys.

Like winning a snottery, you, boy.

I'm a girl.

But how, Harry?

Remember that big, muscly idiot?

Turns out he had a whole lot of muscly mates.

Bucketloads of cash.

Everyone wanting a luxury car.

All I had was a load of old bangers, each with 100,000 miles on the clock.

So, I did what any decent business leader would.

What?

I bought a drill.

Attached it to the speedometer and whacked it in reverse.

I put back the mileage on every one of those cars

and sold them to those big, muscly idiots, resulting in…

Money!

But you cheated them!

Excuse me?

You cheated them. What you did, it wasn't right.

You're just a cheat!

Oh, the little pig!

It's the books, Harry. It's the books and the stories.

Is it now?

Books, is it?

You know what I'm going to do tomorrow?

I'm going to go down to that library,

I'm going to tell that old bag to never let you in again.

What?

Always sticking your nose in where it don't belong.

You nasty little creep!

That night, the escapologist's daughter cried herself to sleep.

She never said a word about the evil step-aunt's bullying.

She didn't want to add to her father's pain.

This only encouraged the woman to greater cruelties,

until one day she exploded.

Sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong!

You nasty little creep!

And she threw her… threw her into a dank,

dark, dusty cellar, locked the door and went out.

But that night, the escapologist happened to come home early.

And when he heard the sound of his daughter's tears,

-he smashed the door open.

Have I been so wrapped up in my grief

that I've forgotten the thing that matters most?

I love you so much, my daughter.

I shall spend the rest of my life making it up to you.

But when the little girl slept,

the escapologist's thoughts turned to the evil stepsister

and a mighty rage grew inside his great heart!

This demon, this monster.

Bullying children is her game, is it?

And as the unfairness of the aunt's cruelty

spun around inside him,

it swirled and whirled into a great storm of fury

that his mind could no longer contain.

And that was the last the little girl ever saw of him.

Because he never came home, ever again.

Can you do telekenipsis?

It's where you have loads of brains.

They squish out through your eyes

and you can move things with your mind.

Matilda. This is for you.

Thank you.

Matilda, here you are.

Isn't it a splendid day, old pal?

-Lavender, what is going on? -You, you're a hero.

Here, Matilda.

Egg and cress, Stephanie? Really!

A hero?

Yes. You're leading a revolution.

-What revolution? -You said "no" to The Trunchbull.

See, no one's done that before.

You're leading a revolution.

You said "no" to The Trunchbull.

No one's done that before.

Ready for a little fun?

Yeah!

-Fun?

Did you say "fun"?

It is not our job to make things fun.

We are not here to encourage or nurture.

We are here to crush them until…

the wriggling stops.

Well, I… I don't actually believe that… that the--

D-d-d-do you, Jenny? D-d-d-do you think anyone c-c-c-cares?

This class is full of rebels,

and they need a real lesson.

Bring your gym gear and change on the way.

You see, Jenny,

to teach the child, we must first break…

the child.

Come along, squits.

I'll take it from here, Jenny!

What a champion!

Agatha Trunchbull, has done it again!

What an athlete, what a winner!

She's mad.

Right. Let's get you out.

This isn't teaching!

This is cruelty.

Cruelty? Well, yes. Of course.

-Go on, boy.

You did say it was going to be fun.

But-- but this isn't fun!

Miss Honey, you are pathetic!

You are… weak

You are… wet.

You are, in fact…

…a sniveling little…

…newt.

You!

No. What? Me?

No, no, I didn't. I didn't. No!

Don't you pull his ears off.

I have discovered, Miss Honey,

through years of experimentation,

that the ears of small boys do not come off!

-They stretch.

-Please!

Leave him alone!

You stupid, horrible, bully!

How dare you.

You are not fit to be in this school.

You are evil.

I shall crush you. I shall pound you.

I shall dissect you, madam.

-Are you listening, you revolting little--

-You idiot! You revolting--

…you revolting little bloodworm.

This is the end of your rebellion.

You have leapt through the gates of Hades.

Do you hear? I am going to tear you apart.

…horrible, repellent, disgusting, nauseating…

Who did that?

A-are you all right, Miss Trunchbull?

Oh! Oh…

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh God, the newt!

It's-- it's-- it's in my-- it's in my knickers!

It's in my knickers!

I've got a newt in my knickers!

Okay. That was odd.

Right. Everyone, back to class.

And please, please keep your heads down for the rest of the day.

Matilda.

I need to show you something.

Watch, Miss Honey.

Matilda, if Miss Trunchbull sees--

Just watch. Please.

-I-I think we should go, before-- -Wait.

I moved it with my eyes.

Am I strange?

How do you fancy a… nice cup of tea?

Oh, no, no, no. Not that way. This way.

What do you think it is? This thing with my eyes.

Well, what did it feel like?

Felt like fizzing.

Fizzing.

But not bad fizzing, good fizzing.

Good fizzing.

Good fizzing. Hm…

Okay, let's see.

I'm no expert because I'm not sure there are experts in fizzing,

but I think it has something to do with that incredible mind of yours.

You mean, there's no room in my head for all my brains?

So they have to squish out through my eyes?

Well, yes. Yes, that's exactly what I mean.

Well, here we are.

Where are we?

Wow.

They pay teachers really badly.

-Well, actually, yes, they do.

But I'm poorer even than most.

You see, my father died when I was young.

Magnus was his name. He was so kind.

But… when he was gone,

my aunt became my legal guardian.

And she was cruel and mean like you cannot even imagine.

Then when I became a teacher, she presented me with a bill.

She'd written everything down.

Every teabag, every gas bill, every tin of beans.

She made me sign a contract to pay her back every single penny.

Really?

She even produced a document that said that my father gave her his house.

But did he really do that, Magnus,

did he just give her his house?

Well, I've always felt it was… suspicious.

You see, she said his death was an accident, but…

You think she did him in!

Well, I cannot say for sure.

All I really know is that years of being bullied by that woman made me, well…

pathetic.

Then one day, I came across this old shed.

I fell in love with it.

I begged the farmer who owned it to let me move in.

He thought I was mad, but…

he said "yes," and…

And that's why you live here.

But Miss Honey, she's got your father's house.

She's got everything that's yours.

Where did you get this scarf?

Oh, it was my father's.

Mum gave it to him before she died.

-She was an-- -An acrobat.

Uh, well, yes, she was. She…

H-- How did you…

-And my father was an esca-- -An escapologist.

Matilda, how do you know that?

So they were your parents.

What? Who?

The people in my story.

I thought I was making it up, but it's real!

It's you, it's your life.

Miss Honey, who's your aunt?

Well, actually Matilda, she's… my step-aunt.

Miss Trunchbull!

A contract is a contract is a contract is a contract!

Matilda.

Matilda, listen to me!

You must forget all this! You need to be very careful.

Miss Trunchbull has been humiliated, and she is capable of awful things.

I'm not scared of her.

You should be. She's dangerous.

So am I.

"Rich," he said.

"Bears," he said.

Oh, "I'm a genius," he said.

What's going on?

Pack your bag, we're off to Spain.

Spain? Why?

Remember those big, stupid, muscly men

your idiot of a father sold them old bangers to?

Come on, love…

Turns out they was the flaming Mafia!

And not so stupid after all.

And they gave me 24 hours to get them the money back.

Only somebody already spent it.

I'm getting some passports tomorrow. So I'll pick you up from school.

What about Mrs. Phelps, Lavender, Nigel, Amanda?

-What about Miss Honey? -Forget 'em!

After tomorrow, you're never gonna see 'em again!

Yesterday an act of vandalism took place in the woods.

Now you've seen the consequences.

You break my toys, I break yours.

Miss Honey's class, canteen, now.

Come along, children. It'll be fine.

Children…

How can I be your headmistress

if I cannot chill you to the bone?

Mm?

If the small ones don't pee just a little

when I walk into the room, well then I'm…

failing as an educator.

So…

Today we are going to have a spelling test.

And any child who gets one single answer wrong…

goes to Chokey.

You can't do that!

Oh, really? Why?

Because of yesterday's little…

…incident, you mean?

Well, here's a surprise Chokey.

-You!

Spell, oh, let me see…

"newt."

N-E-W-T. Newt.

What?

How do you know that?

Miss Honey taught us. She's very good at teaching.

Nonsense!

Miss Honey's far too soft and peachy

to be good at anything!

You!

Spell the one thing you all are.

Spell "revolting."

Revolting. R-E-V-O-L-T…

I-N-G. Revolting.

You're cheating, pigtails!

Of course she's not cheating! She's simply spelling the word.

I just taught them with kindness and patience and respect.

How dare you bring those words into my classroom!

You. Snot-nose.

Stand and spell…

"amchellakamanialseptricolistimosis."

But that's not even a word.

Spell it or go to Chokey.

And I should warn you, it has silent letters.

A…

M…

C…

H…

E…

L…

L…

A…

Oh, dear…

-Oh… -K…

I'm so sorry, it was a silent V.

-You're going to Chokey!

Cat!

C-A-F. Cat.

I got it wrong, Miss. You have to put me in Chokey, too.

-What? -Dog. D-Y-P. Dog. And me.

Table. X-A-B-F-Y. And me.

Can't put us all in Chokey. Banana.

G-T-A-A-B-L…

Stop this!

I've been busy!

A Chokey for each and every one of you!

-Get down!

And now our little test is over,

I can tell you that each

and every one of you has failed.

You see, there are winners and losers

in this world, children.

And I am a--

The chalk! Look, the chalk!

Huh?

"Agatha…

This is Magnus.

Give my Jenny…

back her house."

Who's doing this? Who? Tell me now.

No one's doing it. It's a ghost!

"Then leave."

Oh, no.

"Or I will…

get you…

like you…

got me!"

You think me an idiot!

It's a cheap trick just like Magnus used to do!

You can't hurt me.

I hurt you!

No!

No.

Oh!

It can't be Magnus. It can't.

Look! Matilda.

You see! I'm not going anywhere!

Oh, no. Stop.

I say, what are you doing to my hair?

Pigtails! No!

No!

I hate pigtails!

Stop it now! I'm ordering you!

Let me down! Let me down!

Let me down!

It's over.

This is my school now.

Run.

-Yes!

Come on!

We've got to go, boy. We're going to be late!

She's a-- Sorry, go?

Spain. We're moving there.

We've got a plane to catch in 40 minutes.

Oi! Say your goodbyes now!

No, Matilda. You can't.

-No way. -Don't leave us.

It's not up to me.

Thank you.

Come on.

Chop flaming chop.

Right. In you go.

Where do I go?

It can go in the back, Harry. It's got them clingy fingers.

What, you can't just stick him in the back.

Let Matilda stay here with me.

Mr. Wormwood, I would love to take Matilda.

I beg your pardon?

If she'd like to stay with me, that is.

I would look after her with love and respect and care and…

I'd pay for everything.

Would you like that, Matilda?

-Hang on! -Harry!

You want us to leave our daughter here with you?

What did you just call me?

We are going to miss the plane!

Did you just call me… your daughter?

If… if that's what she wants.

Well? Is that what you want?

You want to… stay here with Miss Honey?

Yes.

Yes, I… yes, I do.

And you want to look after her?

I do. Yes.

We are a bit short of room.

Yeah.

Yeah, all right.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Harry!

Please!

She did it.

-Lovely, right.

-Hip, hip! -Hooray!

-Hip, hip! -Hooray!

-Hip, hip! -Hooray!

-Careful. Left a bit. Left a bit.

-Perfect!