Original subtitles

imagine you are celebrating your

birthday with your two besties when a

guy comes over and buys your two friends

drinks while completely ignoring you

well welcome to my life

but it wasn't always like that for most

of my life i was the prettiest of my

friends so whenever a handsome guy came

over to approach us i automatically

assumed he was only interested in me not

my two ugly friends hey are you girls

going to see the batman movie too my

friend alma responded yes we do what's

your name that's when i leaned over to

her and whispered sorry alma but i don't

think he wants to talk to you

let me handle this

hey

my name is jessica

what row are you sitting in

i ended up switching seats so i could

sit next to the guy and we ended up

kissing a bit i guess sometimes i'm just

a little

after the movie was over i went back to

my friends and they were so jealous i

can't believe he chose you over us

didn't he see my ass

almo was correct they both had better

curves than me but it didn't matter

because their faces were far below

average they were ugly i said girls i

warn you if either of you two ever gets

married to a handsome guy be careful he

won't fall in love with me and break up

with you i'm just too irresistible

you probably think i was a jerk for

teasing my friends so much but it was

all in good spirit because we were

besties and as a girl it's important to

practice how to flirt with guys

especially if you're still in school

because no matter the subject as long as

my teacher was male i could walk up to

him after class and ask him to improve

my final grade i would come up with some

excuse and say i didn't get a good sleep

the night before the exam because my

parents screamed at each other all night

can you please upgrade my grade

then i would start crying i didn't just

make my teacher feel pity for me but i

also made them feel powerful and

important because he was the only one

who could rescue this pretty little girl

okay okay i know that you can do better

so i will bump up your grade and let you

pass the year oh my god thank you you

are the best yes i was shameless it's

probably not normal to hug your 50 year

old physics teacher but what was the

downside i always made sure no other

students were in the room that's why my

teachers felt comfortable flirting with

me a bit and none of my classmates could

joke around that i was having an affair

with our teachers or something like that

but here comes the plot twist my two

best friends at the age of 17 got their

parents permission to get plastic

surgery shockingly there is no minimum

age required for it here in the u.s all

you need is your parents approval and we

are talking breast enhancements

brazilian butt lifts fake chins and

everything else in between i could

barely recognize them when they came

back to school

suddenly i was the least good looking of

my friends and i absolutely hated it one

time a classmate asked us how we were

and i responded i'm good oh i wasn't

asking you i was talking to your friends

huh why was this guy so rude to me well

alma thought it was funny and no wonder

i had teased her for years about being

less pretty than me now the tables had

turned and she enjoyed her victory alma

became the most popular girl in our

school not because she had great

character but because her parents had

paid doctors to stuff a bunch of plastic

into her body i was disgusted or maybe i

was just envious but isn't it unfair how

many advantages rich people have when

alma and i went to the cinema again i

told the cashier that i would take the

small salty popcorn he didn't

acknowledge my request at all instead he

smiled at alma he was behind me in line

and asked her what she wanted oh thank

you for letting me go first in line i

feel so special now then she flirted

with the guy for two long minutes

finally i had enough and screamed at her

screw you and your fake plastic body i

stormed out of the cinema and only once

my anger had faded i came to my senses i

had bullied alma about her ugly face for

so long and now i couldn't handle her

being prettier than me for a few weeks i

was a complete hypocrite and wrote her

an apology text to my relief she said

she wasn't mad at me but it got worse

while my boyfriend seth alma and i ate

lunch in the schoolyard alma made a

really unfunny joke she said what's

brown and made out of wood she paused

for a second and said wood it was such a

bad joke but my boyfriend seth couldn't

stop laughing and that was no

coincidence before alma had gotten all

her plastic surgery my boyfriend had

always disliked her one time he even

called her an annoying pig but now that

she was hot and pretty he loved talking

to her so much so that i always became

the third wheel when we were together

and it hurt being ignored

finally alma went away and i told seth

if you love her so much why don't you

just try to kiss her next time oh god

are you jealous again just because i

talked to your best friend seth never

admitted to doing anything wrong and

worse he judged me for being jealous but

of course i get jealous if my own

boyfriend likes another girl more than

me

well it only took another week before he

broke up with me he said i was too

clingy and he didn't have time for a

girlfriend due to the upcoming final

exams the breakup really hurt and to

make things worse just one month later

alma came up to me and asked if it was

fine if she started dating my

ex-boyfriend seth

out of the hundreds of guys in our

school you chose my ex

he hit me up on instagram and then we

watched a movie together at his home

you did what i got so mad i was about to

rip out her dumb chin implants from

under her skin

if you start dating seth i'm gonna kill

both of you i promise you that

yeah i was losing my but it's no

wonder within two months i'd lost my

whole identity if i wasn't one of the

pretty girls anymore then who really was

i and anyway wasn't it kind of sad that

guys only wanted to date me because of

my looks didn't i have any other

redeeming qualities that could have made

seth want to stay in a relationship with

me i thought for a moment but couldn't

think of any positive character traits i

possessed maybe it was true maybe i was

nothing but a mean

well the next day in class i tried to be

kinder and asked one of my classmates

how her day was she immediately started

talking about her alcoholic dad and how

he was super abusive she kept talking on

and on that's when i realized that i

wasn't one of the nice girls i wasn't

interested in her or her alcoholic dad

or really anyone other than myself i

told her shut up you talked enough

because otherwise she would have talked

about her shitty family until sunset i

now knew who i was a selfish and

narcissistic little brat i wasn't going

to become mother teresa or gandhi no i

had to do something else and guess what

i googled next cost breast augmentation

los angeles

actually the prices were lower than i

had expected only five thousand dollars

but unfortunately my parents were too

poor to afford that but then i had a

realization upgrading my body wasn't

really an expense but rather an

investment if my hot body could get me a

husband with a high salary one day then

it would easily pay for the plastic

surgery bills that's why i walked into a

bank and asked for a 25 000 loan what's

your age and what will you spend the

money on college i'm 16 years old and i

want to get plastic surgery

that day i learned that banks don't give

out loans to desperate teenage girls in

need of a breast augmentation but i'm

smart i just faked some documents to

make it look that i had already

graduated high school i pretended to be

a prodigy who had jumped two classes and

now wanted to go to harvard i guess it's

shocking how quickly they gave me a loan

and because harvard is expensive i got

sixty thousand dollars which covered the

cost of surgery for my whole body

however because it took several weeks

for my body to recover i missed my final

exams in high school that's why my

principal wanted me to repeat the whole

year who did he think he was i am a

straight 10 now i can get whatever guy i

want which means i don't need to get a

degree or find a good job so i just

dropped out of high school

most people watching this video probably

hate me because i'm telling things as

they are but when you're as hot as me

you don't care about the opinions of

some haters on the internet

what matters is that guys love me and

even my ex-boyfriend seth hit me up

again on instagram he said he made a

huge mistake with breaking up with me

too bad i'm so out of his league now

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