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1
00:00:12,386 --> 00:00:14,186
Ah, nature,
it's beautiful
2
00:00:14,286 --> 00:00:18,087
and what better place to
enjoy it than a summer camp.
3
00:00:18,187 --> 00:00:21,521
Welcome to camp
big teepee, a place
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00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:23,921
where children come
year after year
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00:00:24,021 --> 00:00:29,321
to gain the experience that
only a summer camp can provide.
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00:00:29,421 --> 00:00:34,554
Experiences
that will last a lifetime.
7
00:00:34,654 --> 00:00:38,687
Children will learn to
share... to make friends...
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00:00:38,787 --> 00:00:42,854
They'll learn to swim and
acquire valuable skills
9
00:00:42,954 --> 00:00:44,455
such as woodworking.
10
00:00:50,688 --> 00:00:54,022
Yes, camp big teepee provides
the physical exercise that
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00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:56,722
enables young bodies to grow.
12
00:00:56,822 --> 00:01:00,488
My chest grew a quarter
of an inch since last week.
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00:01:00,588 --> 00:01:01,987
And
everyone will learn
14
00:01:02,087 --> 00:01:05,622
the value of determination
and self-restraint.
15
00:01:05,722 --> 00:01:11,022
Could it be three days
without wetting my bed?
16
00:01:11,121 --> 00:01:15,355
Three d... two... two days.
17
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,955
Yes,
campers will be guided
18
00:01:22,055 --> 00:01:24,389
by the very
responsible counselors
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00:01:24,489 --> 00:01:27,222
who are always on the ball.
20
00:01:27,322 --> 00:01:28,922
Dick.
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00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,022
And Jane.
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00:01:30,088 --> 00:01:32,088
Oh, dick.
23
00:01:32,188 --> 00:01:33,222
Why Jane.
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00:01:34,556 --> 00:01:35,789
Oh, dick.
25
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,755
See spot run.
26
00:01:37,855 --> 00:01:38,856
Oh, yes!
27
00:01:38,955 --> 00:01:41,088
But most
important, children are
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00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,922
taught to appreciate nature.
29
00:01:44,022 --> 00:01:48,656
Ah, the forest...
Such a wondrous place.
30
00:01:48,756 --> 00:01:51,288
Come campers, let us explore.
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00:01:51,389 --> 00:01:53,523
If we keep our
eyes and ears open,
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00:01:53,623 --> 00:01:55,189
we might just be
able to see some
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00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,823
of natures busy little creatures
in their natural habitat.
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00:02:01,356 --> 00:02:03,723
Now, listen
carefully, this region
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00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:06,989
abounds with many
of the furry animals
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00:02:07,089 --> 00:02:08,623
such as raccoon and beaver.
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00:02:14,424 --> 00:02:16,023
Watch your step.
38
00:02:16,123 --> 00:02:18,924
The brush is thick here.
39
00:02:19,024 --> 00:02:20,424
It's hard to see
where you're going.
40
00:02:32,924 --> 00:02:36,056
Our story begins
on the last day of camp.
41
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,434
Attention campers...
42
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:41,825
Like report for
totally grody mess hall
43
00:02:41,925 --> 00:02:46,890
because it's the super-mom end
of the summer speech thing, ok?
44
00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:50,090
Campers, it has been
a productive summer.
45
00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:54,425
I know we've all come a
long way in six weeks.
46
00:02:54,525 --> 00:02:55,858
We've had fun.
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00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:56,658
But we've matured.
48
00:02:56,758 --> 00:02:58,891
Ah, phooey!
49
00:02:58,991 --> 00:03:01,157
Now, don't forget
to tell mom and dad
50
00:03:01,257 --> 00:03:03,158
what a terrific
time you've had so
51
00:03:03,258 --> 00:03:06,891
that you can all come back next
year to be further enriched.
52
00:03:06,990 --> 00:03:09,958
And we can all make more
money... uh, friends.
53
00:03:13,558 --> 00:03:15,392
Attention campers,
54
00:03:15,492 --> 00:03:21,459
ok, like, go to your whoa, hey,
like assigned activities, ok?
55
00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:25,291
Now follow me girls
and do exactly as I do.
56
00:03:25,392 --> 00:03:28,291
One, two, stretch.
57
00:03:28,392 --> 00:03:30,726
One, two, stretch.
58
00:03:30,826 --> 00:03:34,659
One, two, stretch.
59
00:03:34,758 --> 00:03:40,526
Girls... do exactly as I
do. Ooh.
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00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:56,959
The morning activity
is nature again?
61
00:03:57,059 --> 00:03:58,926
Oh, I hate nature!
62
00:03:59,026 --> 00:04:00,192
Nature hunt?
63
00:04:00,292 --> 00:04:01,659
I want to go shoot some hoops.
64
00:04:01,759 --> 00:04:02,892
It's a nature hike.
65
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,326
And that means a lot of walking.
66
00:04:04,427 --> 00:04:06,827
And I hope we're back
in time for lunch.
67
00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:09,226
Oh, nature sucks and
so Doe that nature
68
00:04:09,326 --> 00:04:10,626
counselor, miss farmer.
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00:04:10,726 --> 00:04:12,660
Yeah.
70
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:18,627
Ok, campers, today the main
emphasis of our nature walk
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00:04:18,727 --> 00:04:21,660
will deal with the
study of symbiosis.
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00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,393
Does anybody know
what that means?
73
00:04:24,493 --> 00:04:25,293
Symbiosis?
74
00:04:25,394 --> 00:04:26,393
Mitchell?
75
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,393
Symbiosis... uh, yeah.
76
00:04:29,493 --> 00:04:30,793
My mother had that once.
77
00:04:30,893 --> 00:04:32,135
But then she got some mouthwash.
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00:04:32,159 --> 00:04:34,060
Now it's all better, huh?
79
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:34,861
No.
80
00:04:34,961 --> 00:04:36,727
No, Mitchell.
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00:04:36,827 --> 00:04:38,860
Mitch.
82
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,861
Hey, where'd you get that?
83
00:04:40,961 --> 00:04:41,960
You want to get high?
84
00:04:41,993 --> 00:04:42,694
Sure.
85
00:04:42,793 --> 00:04:43,561
Hey, what are guys doing?
86
00:04:43,661 --> 00:04:44,660
Hey, bug off, shithead.
87
00:04:44,693 --> 00:04:45,561
Are you going to smoke that?
88
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:47,194
Yeah, bigshot, you want a hit?
89
00:04:47,293 --> 00:04:48,894
Yeah, sure.
90
00:04:48,993 --> 00:04:49,993
Ok, great.
91
00:04:50,061 --> 00:04:51,060
Let's go.
92
00:04:51,127 --> 00:04:52,894
Oh, I'm always starved
after I smoke pot.
93
00:04:52,994 --> 00:04:53,860
I have no food.
94
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,327
Oh, come on, Annie.
95
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:56,328
Let's ask Henry.
96
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:57,570
He's always got lots of food.
97
00:04:57,594 --> 00:04:58,674
Hey, Henry, you want a hit?
98
00:04:59,495 --> 00:05:00,794
You want a hit?
99
00:05:00,894 --> 00:05:01,794
No, don't hit me. Don't hit me.
100
00:05:01,894 --> 00:05:03,136
- Please don't do that.
- No, no, no.
101
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,394
Do you want to smoke some grass?
102
00:05:06,494 --> 00:05:08,294
Oh, sure.
103
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:11,662
Let's continue our nature hike.
104
00:05:11,761 --> 00:05:13,828
Let's see if we can find
some specific examples
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00:05:13,928 --> 00:05:16,028
of symbiotic relationships.
106
00:05:16,128 --> 00:05:17,961
Fuck this nature shit.
107
00:05:18,061 --> 00:05:19,161
Let's go smoke the grass.
108
00:05:26,094 --> 00:05:26,962
Hey, guys!
109
00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:28,170
I've got the grass. Come on.
110
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,194
Let's smoke it.
111
00:05:32,395 --> 00:05:33,429
Follow me, guys.
112
00:05:33,529 --> 00:05:34,995
I know just the place.
113
00:05:35,095 --> 00:05:36,794
Hey, Henry, where are we going?
114
00:05:36,894 --> 00:05:37,595
Come on.
115
00:05:37,695 --> 00:05:38,562
It's right here.
116
00:05:38,662 --> 00:05:39,829
I come here all the time.
117
00:05:41,362 --> 00:05:42,695
Yuck.
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00:05:42,795 --> 00:05:45,529
Watch out for the
rabbit shit, guys.
119
00:05:45,629 --> 00:05:48,862
Hey, uh, Dan, you
got that lantern?
120
00:05:48,962 --> 00:05:49,662
It's dark in there.
121
00:05:49,762 --> 00:05:50,929
You go first.
122
00:05:51,029 --> 00:05:52,062
Who me?
123
00:05:52,162 --> 00:05:53,162
Yeah, come on. Go ahead.
124
00:05:53,262 --> 00:05:53,962
Come on, Danny.
125
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,062
Come on.
126
00:05:56,162 --> 00:05:58,129
Why do I have to
go in the hole first?
127
00:05:58,229 --> 00:06:01,496
Because douche
bags go in the hole first.
128
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,496
Are sure
it's safe in here?
129
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:04,895
Come on.
130
00:06:04,995 --> 00:06:07,195
Mitch, you behind me?
131
00:06:07,295 --> 00:06:10,095
I'm right on your tail.
132
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:13,796
Come on, you guys, my
place is just around here.
133
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,763
Wow!
134
00:06:15,863 --> 00:06:17,262
Oh, shit.
135
00:06:17,362 --> 00:06:19,496
So do you guys want to
go by the onyx formation
136
00:06:19,596 --> 00:06:21,230
that looks like popcorn?
137
00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:24,230
Or the one that
looks like donuts?
138
00:06:24,330 --> 00:06:25,229
Donuts.
139
00:06:25,329 --> 00:06:28,195
Yeah, donuts.
140
00:06:29,796 --> 00:06:32,330
Henry, you farted
right in my face.
141
00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:35,130
Sorry, cheese
sandwiches do that to me.
142
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:36,997
Oh, the giant grape.
143
00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:37,930
Where is it?
144
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,330
Right here.
145
00:06:39,431 --> 00:06:41,830
And for your
post-joint enjoyment,
146
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:44,130
I always keep a
little food here just
147
00:06:44,230 --> 00:06:45,531
for these kind of emergencies.
148
00:06:45,631 --> 00:06:46,996
Good going, Henry.
149
00:06:47,096 --> 00:06:50,864
Mitchell, can you tell
me the name of that plant?
150
00:06:50,963 --> 00:06:53,296
Mitchell?
151
00:06:53,397 --> 00:06:55,696
Where's Mitchell?
152
00:06:55,796 --> 00:06:57,163
Where's Annie?
153
00:06:57,263 --> 00:06:59,631
Miss farmer, I saw them
leave with a funny cigarette.
154
00:06:59,731 --> 00:07:00,731
What?
155
00:07:00,764 --> 00:07:01,465
Yeah.
156
00:07:01,565 --> 00:07:04,364
Now, now, now, don't panic.
157
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:05,744
Now you children
stay right here.
158
00:07:05,797 --> 00:07:07,164
I'll be right back.
159
00:07:07,264 --> 00:07:08,030
Now, don't move.
160
00:07:08,130 --> 00:07:09,864
Do you understand me?
161
00:07:09,964 --> 00:07:11,764
Dont' move.
162
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:12,931
Yes, miss farmer.
163
00:07:17,931 --> 00:07:19,297
Screw here, let's go.
164
00:07:35,698 --> 00:07:37,432
Smooth stuff.
165
00:07:37,532 --> 00:07:39,491
Hey, Danny, come over here
and take a hit of this.
166
00:07:42,865 --> 00:07:44,765
The joint burned my tongue.
167
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:45,665
No, you idiot.
168
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,132
Smoke the other end.
169
00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:50,599
Those assholes, I knew
I couldn't trust them.
170
00:07:53,832 --> 00:07:56,799
Oh, sinsemilla.
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00:07:56,898 --> 00:07:58,666
Those kids have good taste.
172
00:07:58,766 --> 00:08:02,833
Shit, if I can only
get my hands on them.
173
00:08:02,933 --> 00:08:03,932
Is it imported?
174
00:08:06,265 --> 00:08:07,499
You bet.
175
00:08:07,599 --> 00:08:08,866
Well, I only smoke the best.
176
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:09,765
Well, it is the best.
177
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:11,066
Ok, you guys.
178
00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:12,998
Don't try to get
rid of the smell.
179
00:08:13,098 --> 00:08:15,466
That's how I found you
in the first place.
180
00:08:15,566 --> 00:08:18,699
I could smell it a mile away.
181
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,666
Danny Anderson!
182
00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:22,633
I'm ashamed of you.
183
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:26,634
And you were nominated for
most improved camper award.
184
00:08:26,733 --> 00:08:28,199
Why did you guys
leave the group?
185
00:08:28,298 --> 00:08:30,799
I could get in a lot of
trouble because of you.
186
00:08:30,899 --> 00:08:33,966
Well, what do you have
to say for yourselves?
187
00:08:34,066 --> 00:08:34,766
Want a hit?
188
00:08:34,866 --> 00:08:37,833
Oh, gee, thanks.
189
00:08:37,933 --> 00:08:41,500
No, I don't smoke pot.
190
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:42,600
My body is a temple.
191
00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:44,009
I would never put any
chemicals into it.
192
00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:47,299
Yeah, except for maybe
your birth control pills.
193
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,534
Why do you guys want
to do this anyway?
194
00:08:49,634 --> 00:08:52,166
I mean, you should
get high on nature.
195
00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:57,267
Just look at the beauty
and symmetry of this cave.
196
00:08:57,367 --> 00:08:59,834
This cave is a perfect
example of the changing
197
00:08:59,934 --> 00:09:02,900
state of nature.
198
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,900
Just look at the way
that still stalactite
199
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:10,534
delicately clings to the roof
of this cavernous orifice.
200
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:15,435
The slightest movement or
sound could offset that balance
201
00:09:15,535 --> 00:09:18,535
and create an upheaval that
is probably how this cave
202
00:09:18,635 --> 00:09:20,501
was created in the first place.
203
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:23,468
It's a spider!
204
00:09:23,568 --> 00:09:24,635
It's a spider!
205
00:09:24,735 --> 00:09:25,435
It's ok.
206
00:09:25,534 --> 00:09:27,401
It's ok.
207
00:09:32,901 --> 00:09:34,268
See what your
screaming has done?
208
00:09:34,368 --> 00:09:35,267
What?
209
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,735
Are you trying to kill us?
210
00:09:36,835 --> 00:09:39,001
It's not Annie'sfault. It's just
211
00:09:39,101 --> 00:09:43,135
a demonstration of nature in
an ever-changing state of flux.
212
00:09:46,702 --> 00:09:48,101
Oh, fuck the flux.
213
00:09:48,201 --> 00:09:51,235
Let's get the fuck out of here.
214
00:09:51,335 --> 00:09:53,101
Don't panic.
215
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,969
The slightest sound
could cause a cave-in.
216
00:09:56,068 --> 00:09:59,468
Now let's move very
slowly out of the cave.
217
00:09:59,568 --> 00:10:00,636
Go ahead, Mitchell.
218
00:10:00,736 --> 00:10:01,469
No, no, no.
219
00:10:01,569 --> 00:10:02,835
Ladies first.
220
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,002
You go first.
221
00:10:04,101 --> 00:10:06,902
Ok, now remember
don't make a sound.
222
00:10:27,902 --> 00:10:28,902
Oh, shit!
223
00:10:46,537 --> 00:10:49,803
If I told you once, I told
you a thousand times, butch.
224
00:10:49,903 --> 00:10:51,837
You've got to water
down the milk.
225
00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:54,037
This milk bill is killing me.
226
00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:56,070
And another thing,
you've got to double dose
227
00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:58,503
the salt Peter in the bug juice.
228
00:10:58,603 --> 00:11:01,037
These kids are getting
a little bit too frisky.
229
00:11:01,137 --> 00:11:01,837
Loose joints!
230
00:11:01,937 --> 00:11:02,937
Loose joints!
231
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,413
Nickle bags... come on,
loose, I got it all.
232
00:11:04,437 --> 00:11:05,946
You don't got a date to
take to the boathouse?
233
00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:09,203
My friend... she'll
take good care of you.
234
00:11:09,303 --> 00:11:10,637
There you go. Come on, guys.
235
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:11,838
I got to go.
236
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:13,146
You got some petroleum
jelly for your girlfriend.
237
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:14,270
I got it. I got a bong.
238
00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:17,003
I got it all, guys.
239
00:11:17,103 --> 00:11:17,938
Is everybody ok?
240
00:11:18,038 --> 00:11:19,337
Danny?
241
00:11:19,438 --> 00:11:22,571
The whole fucking thing
caved in on us, asshole.
242
00:11:22,671 --> 00:11:23,938
I'm sorry guys.
243
00:11:24,038 --> 00:11:27,071
I guess I shouldn't have had
that other cheese sandwich.
244
00:11:27,171 --> 00:11:29,738
Yeah.
245
00:11:29,838 --> 00:11:31,077
All right, listen, don't worry.
246
00:11:31,170 --> 00:11:31,871
I'll get us out of here.
247
00:11:31,971 --> 00:11:32,671
All right?
248
00:11:32,771 --> 00:11:34,303
All right.
249
00:11:34,404 --> 00:11:36,505
My head.
250
00:11:36,605 --> 00:11:37,904
Holy shit!
251
00:11:38,004 --> 00:11:39,781
I'll never be ready
for the end-of-season banquet.
252
00:11:39,805 --> 00:11:40,704
Oh, yeah, the banquet.
253
00:11:40,804 --> 00:11:43,070
And they're having
chocolate pudding.
254
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:43,971
Come on, Mitch.
255
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:44,904
You can get us out of here.
256
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,838
I know you can.
257
00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:48,338
Damn, these fucking rocks.
258
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,304
There's no way.
259
00:11:56,405 --> 00:11:58,239
There's no fucking way.
260
00:11:58,339 --> 00:12:00,038
There's thousands
of rocks back there.
261
00:12:00,138 --> 00:12:01,614
Now what are we going
to do miss know-it-all.
262
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,905
Well, don't panic.
263
00:12:04,005 --> 00:12:07,305
Well, let's look on
the positive side.
264
00:12:07,406 --> 00:12:10,705
We still have light
and half a joint.
265
00:12:10,804 --> 00:12:11,672
Half a joint.
266
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,104
And let's see, who
knows we're here.
267
00:12:14,204 --> 00:12:15,305
My campers!
268
00:12:15,405 --> 00:12:18,105
They're still back on
the trail waiting for me.
269
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,071
They are bound to come
and get us in no time.
270
00:12:22,506 --> 00:12:24,039
Oh, boy, what a relief.
271
00:12:24,139 --> 00:12:27,440
Hey, clem, what's that
guy doing by our fence?
272
00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:29,505
So hard to find a good
piss pole these days.
273
00:12:29,605 --> 00:12:30,839
And this one is a beauty.
274
00:12:30,939 --> 00:12:33,098
Hey, it looks like he's
breaking into our chicken Coop.
275
00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:33,905
What a relief.
276
00:12:34,005 --> 00:12:35,215
Oh, my back teeth were floating.
277
00:12:35,239 --> 00:12:37,239
My teeth were just
going to fall right out.
278
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:38,605
They were just floating.
279
00:12:38,705 --> 00:12:40,172
Oh, thank goodness
I found this pole.
280
00:12:40,272 --> 00:12:41,506
I thought it...
281
00:12:41,605 --> 00:12:48,906
Ok, buster, put up your hands
and turn around real slow.
282
00:12:49,006 --> 00:12:50,339
Well, wait, wait, wait.
283
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:51,773
Shut up!
284
00:12:51,873 --> 00:12:56,673
Put up your hands and
turn around real slow.
285
00:12:56,773 --> 00:12:58,306
Well, ok.
286
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,706
Oh, don't hurt me.
287
00:13:08,073 --> 00:13:09,706
These water bills
are killing me.
288
00:13:09,806 --> 00:13:11,840
Now, I told you I
wanted three campers
289
00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:13,874
to pee before each flush.
290
00:13:13,974 --> 00:13:14,674
Get it?
291
00:13:14,774 --> 00:13:15,474
Got it.
292
00:13:15,574 --> 00:13:16,407
Good.
293
00:13:16,507 --> 00:13:17,517
Lebotomy, what
are you doing back
294
00:13:17,541 --> 00:13:19,674
so soon from the nature hunt?
295
00:13:19,774 --> 00:13:21,140
Danny Anderson.
296
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:25,407
Mitch, Annie, and
Henry... funny cigarettes.
297
00:13:25,507 --> 00:13:26,241
Frogs!
298
00:13:26,341 --> 00:13:27,874
What are you trying to tell me?
299
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,507
Well, they're lost.
300
00:13:29,607 --> 00:13:31,741
And they're not coming back.
301
00:13:31,841 --> 00:13:33,273
Merriam, check on his story.
302
00:13:33,373 --> 00:13:36,041
We've got to find those kids.
303
00:13:36,141 --> 00:13:39,074
Some of them haven't
paid their bill yet.
304
00:13:39,174 --> 00:13:40,941
What time is it, miss farmer?
305
00:13:41,041 --> 00:13:41,742
Leave me alone.
306
00:13:41,842 --> 00:13:43,307
Oh, excuse me.
307
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:44,451
What's the matter with you?
308
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,050
You've never been
touched by a man before?
309
00:13:46,074 --> 00:13:47,642
Scared I might turn you on?
310
00:13:47,742 --> 00:13:49,408
Big shot.
311
00:13:49,508 --> 00:13:52,874
I am sick of yours
notty comments.
312
00:13:52,974 --> 00:13:56,408
I have been touched by more men
than you could even imagine.
313
00:13:56,508 --> 00:13:57,983
I bet you wouldn't even
know what to do if I
314
00:13:58,007 --> 00:14:00,475
really let you touch me anyway.
315
00:14:00,575 --> 00:14:03,308
Yeah, I bet you never even
have gotten laid, stub.
316
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:05,875
Hey, listen, I wouldn't want
to bore you with the details.
317
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:08,408
Besides, you wouldn't
understand half of it anyway.
318
00:14:08,508 --> 00:14:09,576
And don't call me stub.
319
00:14:09,675 --> 00:14:10,674
My name is stud.
320
00:14:13,174 --> 00:14:17,342
Ok stub, why don't you tell
us about your sexual conquests?
321
00:14:17,442 --> 00:14:18,609
Yeah.
322
00:14:18,709 --> 00:14:19,988
I don't want to talk about this.
323
00:14:22,608 --> 00:14:27,275
The act of sexual intercourse...
The coupling of two organisms
324
00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:30,743
is the most important
and obviously essential
325
00:14:30,843 --> 00:14:33,909
when in the life
cycle of the species.
326
00:14:34,009 --> 00:14:35,275
What the hell did she just say?
327
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:39,509
She's trying to tell us she
never bobbed on a man before.
328
00:14:39,609 --> 00:14:41,709
How about it, nature counselor?
329
00:14:41,809 --> 00:14:45,009
I bet you're the world's
first 22-year-old virgin.
330
00:14:45,109 --> 00:14:47,876
Yeah, when did miss nature
teacher get her cherry
331
00:14:47,976 --> 00:14:50,609
popped.
332
00:14:50,709 --> 00:14:53,843
Aren't we all charming today?
333
00:14:53,943 --> 00:14:56,809
Ok, stub, you're
going to enlighten us
334
00:14:56,909 --> 00:14:59,909
on your vast sexual experience.
335
00:15:00,009 --> 00:15:00,876
Ok.
336
00:15:00,976 --> 00:15:02,275
Ok, all right.
337
00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:04,644
I'll tell you all about
the first time I got laid.
338
00:15:06,076 --> 00:15:07,076
Under one condition.
339
00:15:07,176 --> 00:15:08,375
Yeah?
340
00:15:08,476 --> 00:15:10,636
That you all tell me about
the first time you got laid.
341
00:15:13,143 --> 00:15:13,877
What's the matter?
342
00:15:13,977 --> 00:15:15,577
You've all done it haven't you?
343
00:15:15,677 --> 00:15:16,944
Of course.
344
00:15:17,044 --> 00:15:18,085
What do you take us for?
345
00:15:18,109 --> 00:15:21,343
Hey, Henry, we got a
virgin in the group?
346
00:15:21,444 --> 00:15:23,077
Nah.
347
00:15:23,177 --> 00:15:24,844
I always get fucked.
348
00:15:24,944 --> 00:15:27,209
Come on,
Mitch, you start off.
349
00:15:27,309 --> 00:15:32,944
The first time I got lad, hmm,
shit, there's been so many.
350
00:15:33,044 --> 00:15:35,010
Ah, I remember.
351
00:15:35,110 --> 00:15:37,944
It all started when I had a
fight with my chick, Kathy.
352
00:15:38,044 --> 00:15:41,244
I took here to inspiration
point, a nice secluded place
353
00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:43,578
where I knew we
could be all alone.
354
00:15:43,678 --> 00:15:48,077
Then I started to put these
major league moves on her.
355
00:15:48,177 --> 00:15:51,644
Oh, is that bubble gum I taste?
356
00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:54,744
No, I just have this
terrible sinus congestion.
357
00:16:10,978 --> 00:16:12,478
Kathy, if you could just...
358
00:16:12,578 --> 00:16:14,612
Stud, we've only
been going out a week.
359
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:15,611
Oh, I know.
360
00:16:15,711 --> 00:16:17,978
It's been a good week too.
361
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,111
Just like...
362
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,611
I really don't want to.
363
00:16:21,711 --> 00:16:26,345
Yeah, yeah, just... just... yeah.
364
00:16:26,446 --> 00:16:27,445
Just...
365
00:16:27,478 --> 00:16:28,655
As usual, the chick
366
00:16:28,679 --> 00:16:31,011
had her hands all over me.
367
00:16:31,111 --> 00:16:32,479
I had to fight her away.
368
00:16:32,579 --> 00:16:33,578
Oh, Jess!
369
00:16:33,611 --> 00:16:34,479
Oh, Jess!
370
00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:35,479
Oh, Jess!
371
00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:36,446
Oh, Jess!
372
00:16:36,546 --> 00:16:37,946
Oh, Jess!
373
00:16:38,045 --> 00:16:39,611
Oh, Jess!
374
00:16:43,979 --> 00:16:46,045
Jesus Christ!
375
00:16:46,145 --> 00:16:48,713
What is this sticky
shit all over my dress?
376
00:16:48,811 --> 00:16:50,412
You pig!
377
00:16:50,512 --> 00:16:52,412
I hope this doesn't
get me pregnant.
378
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,589
But I knew
it couldn't last forever.
379
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:56,447
So I hit the road.
380
00:16:57,346 --> 00:16:58,712
Pig, get out of here.
381
00:16:58,812 --> 00:16:59,679
Asshole!
382
00:16:59,779 --> 00:17:00,779
You weenie.
383
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:04,879
Excuse me.
384
00:17:08,112 --> 00:17:10,113
I decided to go while
the going was good.
385
00:17:10,212 --> 00:17:14,179
I don't like chicks
who get stuck on me.
386
00:17:15,747 --> 00:17:17,625
So I
decided to thumb a ride.
387
00:17:19,912 --> 00:17:23,179
People always took an
instant liking to me.
388
00:17:23,279 --> 00:17:25,313
All I had to dow
as flex my biceps.
389
00:17:25,414 --> 00:17:26,947
And it was easy as
fucking a tomato.
390
00:17:30,513 --> 00:17:32,513
A real cute chick picked me up.
391
00:17:32,613 --> 00:17:36,648
I could tell she was a
real nice clean cut girl.
392
00:17:36,747 --> 00:17:39,113
She wasn't like Kathy at all.
393
00:17:39,213 --> 00:17:40,213
She was mature.
394
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,013
What's your name?
395
00:17:44,113 --> 00:17:45,848
My name is Mitch.
396
00:17:45,947 --> 00:17:48,948
But friends call
me stub... ah, stud.
397
00:17:49,047 --> 00:17:49,848
Stud?
398
00:17:49,947 --> 00:17:51,047
Why is that?
399
00:17:51,147 --> 00:17:53,680
It's a long line of women
who can tell you why.
400
00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:57,147
Are you always
so shy and modest?
401
00:17:57,247 --> 00:17:59,614
Only with breasts...
Uh, girls I like.
402
00:18:00,581 --> 00:18:02,980
Does that mean you like me?
403
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,180
Well, you sure are kind of cute.
404
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,714
I really like the preppy look.
405
00:18:09,814 --> 00:18:11,614
Gee, thanks a lot, you know?
406
00:18:11,714 --> 00:18:14,814
I don't get too compliments
in my line of work.
407
00:18:14,914 --> 00:18:15,914
What's your line of work?
408
00:18:19,449 --> 00:18:21,948
I mean, you can't
tell what I do?
409
00:18:22,048 --> 00:18:23,614
Not really.
410
00:18:23,714 --> 00:18:27,648
Hey, stud... into the road.
411
00:18:27,748 --> 00:18:29,381
You never did tell
me what you did.
412
00:18:29,482 --> 00:18:32,415
Uh, I'm a hooker, you know?
413
00:18:32,515 --> 00:18:34,449
A real, live call girl.
414
00:18:34,549 --> 00:18:37,048
Bullshit.
415
00:18:37,148 --> 00:18:39,449
Would I lie about
something like that?
416
00:18:39,549 --> 00:18:42,615
No, I guess not.
417
00:18:42,715 --> 00:18:45,882
Why don't you come
over for a drink?
418
00:18:45,982 --> 00:18:48,582
I'm sure you can find the time.
419
00:18:48,682 --> 00:18:50,550
Well, yeah, I guess
I could do that.
420
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:51,649
Where do you live?
421
00:18:55,149 --> 00:18:57,415
I finally hit
the jackpot with this chick.
422
00:18:57,515 --> 00:18:59,950
But I didn't want to
screw up this opportunity.
423
00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:01,649
So I decided to
bring my friend Jeff
424
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:03,381
along because he
read all the books
425
00:19:03,482 --> 00:19:05,650
and how to score with the women.
426
00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,616
This is it.
427
00:19:07,716 --> 00:19:10,483
Mitch, don't worry
about a thing, ok?
428
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,182
Just run the order past
me one more time now.
429
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:15,451
Ok, ok.
430
00:19:15,549 --> 00:19:16,549
First, body hygiene.
431
00:19:16,616 --> 00:19:17,450
Oh, Mitch, no.
432
00:19:17,550 --> 00:19:18,551
Oh, come on, Jeff.
433
00:19:18,649 --> 00:19:21,183
Now, how many times
have I got to tell you?
434
00:19:21,283 --> 00:19:23,050
One, you blow in her ear.
435
00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:25,650
That drives them wild.
436
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,115
Two, body hygiene...
Ok, some guys
437
00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:30,216
like for a guy to spend
some time in the bathroom
438
00:19:30,316 --> 00:19:33,617
before indulging
in such activities.
439
00:19:33,717 --> 00:19:37,249
Three, moan and groan...
It drives them wild.
440
00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:39,451
Four, get them nice and wet.
441
00:19:39,551 --> 00:19:43,683
And five, zingo!
442
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:44,517
Zingo!
443
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:45,917
Zingo.
444
00:19:46,017 --> 00:19:49,484
Now, if all else fails, take
my words of wisdom for advice.
445
00:19:49,583 --> 00:19:50,283
Ok.
446
00:19:50,383 --> 00:19:52,250
When in doubt, whip it out.
447
00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:53,050
Ok.
448
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,216
That's it. Come on.
449
00:19:54,316 --> 00:19:55,315
Let's get going.
450
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,684
Jeff was a real pro.
451
00:20:03,784 --> 00:20:06,151
He started the evening
off with rule number one.
452
00:20:06,251 --> 00:20:07,485
He blew in her ear.
453
00:20:10,651 --> 00:20:13,851
Well, here I am, babe,
all six inches of me.
454
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:14,951
Who is this?
455
00:20:15,017 --> 00:20:15,784
Who me?
456
00:20:15,884 --> 00:20:16,751
Hey, I'm Jeff.
457
00:20:16,851 --> 00:20:18,317
I'm here to give
you some hot action.
458
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,617
Well, Mitch I'm first.
459
00:20:20,717 --> 00:20:22,060
Make yourself
comfortable because this
460
00:20:22,084 --> 00:20:23,151
is going to take a while.
461
00:20:23,251 --> 00:20:23,951
As for you sweetheart.
462
00:20:24,051 --> 00:20:25,051
Tell me, what do we got?
463
00:20:25,084 --> 00:20:26,083
Around the world?
464
00:20:26,117 --> 00:20:28,217
Half and half French-Greek?
465
00:20:28,317 --> 00:20:30,485
I know Greek is
usually a little extra.
466
00:20:30,585 --> 00:20:34,351
Hey, maybe we can get
the two for one price.
467
00:20:34,452 --> 00:20:36,918
Oh, hey, I know you
professional type girls.
468
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:38,718
You like to see the
cash first, right?
469
00:20:38,818 --> 00:20:39,952
Hey, ok, I don't blame you.
470
00:20:40,052 --> 00:20:41,052
I come prepared.
471
00:20:41,151 --> 00:20:42,151
Don't worry.
472
00:20:42,217 --> 00:20:44,052
Let's see if we've
got a one dollar, two
473
00:20:44,152 --> 00:20:46,685
dollars, a three, four dollars.
474
00:20:46,785 --> 00:20:48,585
How does that sound, sweetheart?
475
00:20:48,685 --> 00:20:50,018
There's more where
this came from.
476
00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,152
You know what I mean?
477
00:20:51,252 --> 00:20:52,352
Well?
478
00:20:52,453 --> 00:20:53,692
What did you say your name was?
479
00:20:53,718 --> 00:20:54,552
Jeff? Jeff: Jeff.
480
00:20:54,652 --> 00:20:55,653
You got it.-Come on in.
481
00:20:55,753 --> 00:20:56,752
Ok.
482
00:21:06,486 --> 00:21:07,853
I don't believe what I've done.
483
00:21:07,953 --> 00:21:09,619
Look at this place.
484
00:21:09,719 --> 00:21:12,118
This isn't the living
room of a hooker.
485
00:21:12,218 --> 00:21:16,553
This is the living
room of a nice girl.
486
00:21:16,653 --> 00:21:17,729
Excuse me for a moment please.
487
00:21:17,753 --> 00:21:18,752
Yeah, really?
488
00:21:21,619 --> 00:21:22,453
Holy shit!
489
00:21:22,553 --> 00:21:23,853
What the hell was in that book?
490
00:21:23,952 --> 00:21:27,318
Moans and groans... a
body hygiene... my notes.
491
00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:28,995
"Blow in her ear, body
hygiene, moans and groans,
492
00:21:29,019 --> 00:21:30,352
get her nice and wet, zingo."
493
00:21:30,453 --> 00:21:31,773
Ok, step number
two, body hygiene.
494
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:39,252
Oh, my god.
495
00:21:54,686 --> 00:21:59,620
Oh, geez, champagne.
496
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,354
Oh, you brought me champagne.
497
00:22:03,455 --> 00:22:08,488
Ok, body hygiene.
"Moans and groans."
498
00:22:08,587 --> 00:22:12,721
Moans and groans... uh... no, no.
499
00:22:13,687 --> 00:22:14,687
No, geez.
500
00:22:24,254 --> 00:22:26,087
Yeah.
501
00:22:30,488 --> 00:22:31,387
I got it now.
502
00:22:31,488 --> 00:22:32,797
All I git to do is
take up my pants.
503
00:22:32,821 --> 00:22:34,320
And I don't need
a book for that.
504
00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:39,422
Oh, look at this...
Horsd'oeuvres... beautiful...
505
00:22:39,521 --> 00:22:41,354
Beautiful hors d'oeuvres.
506
00:22:41,455 --> 00:22:43,221
And I brought that animal here.
507
00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:44,488
That animal!
508
00:22:55,155 --> 00:22:58,489
Oh, if that animal.
509
00:22:58,589 --> 00:23:00,321
If you touch her, I'll kill you!
510
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:01,462
You better be good to her.
511
00:23:01,489 --> 00:23:02,988
God, what did I do?
512
00:23:03,088 --> 00:23:04,988
What are you doing?
513
00:23:07,556 --> 00:23:09,856
I haven't even touched you yet.
514
00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:12,689
I'm a very, very excitable guy.
515
00:23:13,889 --> 00:23:15,689
It doesn't look very excited.
516
00:23:15,789 --> 00:23:18,288
You know, you're right.
517
00:23:18,388 --> 00:23:20,188
Wait one second.
518
00:23:20,288 --> 00:23:23,756
"Step four, gether nice and wet."
519
00:23:23,856 --> 00:23:28,922
Ah, get her nice and wet.
520
00:23:29,022 --> 00:23:30,156
I understand.
521
00:23:30,256 --> 00:23:34,289
You girls can't do it
unless you're nice and wet.
522
00:23:34,389 --> 00:23:37,156
Jeffy here is going to
get you nice and wet.
523
00:23:39,922 --> 00:23:43,122
God, you asshole!
524
00:23:44,157 --> 00:23:45,256
Sweetheart, I can't help.
525
00:23:45,356 --> 00:23:46,365
I just followed the directions.
526
00:23:46,389 --> 00:23:47,223
I'm coming.
527
00:23:47,323 --> 00:23:48,022
I'm coming.
528
00:23:48,122 --> 00:23:49,122
I'm coming.
529
00:23:50,491 --> 00:23:52,023
Mitch?
530
00:23:52,122 --> 00:23:53,756
What the hell are you doing?
531
00:23:53,856 --> 00:23:56,822
I did everything by the book.
532
00:23:56,922 --> 00:23:58,256
Asshole!
533
00:23:59,390 --> 00:24:03,623
This will show you
how to treat a lady.
534
00:24:03,723 --> 00:24:05,157
Oh, Mitch, I went with the book.
535
00:24:05,257 --> 00:24:06,156
She's just frigid. That's all.
536
00:24:06,256 --> 00:24:06,957
She's just frigid.
537
00:24:07,057 --> 00:24:08,057
That broad is frigid.
538
00:24:13,591 --> 00:24:15,058
I'm sorry I hit you.
539
00:24:15,157 --> 00:24:16,691
I didn't know he
was going to duck.
540
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:17,658
Who cut off the lights?
541
00:24:17,758 --> 00:24:18,457
Where am I?
542
00:24:18,557 --> 00:24:19,758
I can't see.
543
00:24:19,857 --> 00:24:21,124
Excuse me. I know what it is.
544
00:24:21,224 --> 00:24:22,567
She's frigid, Mitch.
That's what she is.
545
00:24:22,591 --> 00:24:23,491
She's frigid.
546
00:24:23,591 --> 00:24:25,958
Oh, my balls.
547
00:24:28,057 --> 00:24:28,891
You'll never believe this.
548
00:24:28,991 --> 00:24:33,757
But this is really
my first time.
549
00:24:33,857 --> 00:24:35,158
Oh, I'm sorry.
550
00:24:35,258 --> 00:24:36,857
It's ok.
551
00:24:36,957 --> 00:24:39,957
It's just that you must
have been with thousands
552
00:24:40,057 --> 00:24:41,891
and thousands of men.
553
00:24:41,991 --> 00:24:44,791
Oh, I didn't mean that.
554
00:24:44,891 --> 00:24:46,958
Oh, you know what I
meant, Lucy, I'm sorry.
555
00:24:47,058 --> 00:24:49,024
It's ok.
556
00:24:49,124 --> 00:24:50,791
You don't have to
worry because I'm
557
00:24:50,891 --> 00:24:52,091
going to teach you everything.
558
00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:54,191
Everything?
559
00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:55,290
Everything.
560
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,001
Even
though it was my first time,
561
00:25:03,025 --> 00:25:05,058
my instincts took over.
562
00:25:05,158 --> 00:25:07,625
What do I do first?
563
00:25:07,725 --> 00:25:13,625
Well, first why don't you
put your hand on my breast?
564
00:25:13,725 --> 00:25:14,725
Like that.
565
00:25:14,825 --> 00:25:17,425
Don't squeeze so hard.
566
00:25:17,525 --> 00:25:18,225
I'm sorry.
567
00:25:18,325 --> 00:25:19,225
It's ok.
568
00:25:19,325 --> 00:25:20,692
Just very nicely.
569
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:39,325
Mitch, you're so hard.
570
00:25:39,426 --> 00:25:42,159
And you're so big.
571
00:25:42,259 --> 00:25:44,959
And you're so warm.
572
00:25:45,059 --> 00:25:49,160
But if you would move down
just a little further,
573
00:25:49,260 --> 00:25:50,560
it wouldn't be my belly button.
574
00:25:50,660 --> 00:25:51,893
Oh, sorry.
575
00:25:51,993 --> 00:25:52,760
Ok, thank you.
576
00:25:52,860 --> 00:25:55,760
Um, much better.
577
00:26:07,494 --> 00:26:08,493
That's nice.
578
00:26:11,793 --> 00:26:12,793
Oh, Lucy.
579
00:26:27,193 --> 00:26:30,093
Was that good enough for you?
580
00:26:30,193 --> 00:26:31,233
Mitch, you were wonderful.
581
00:26:39,627 --> 00:26:40,527
Lucy?
582
00:26:40,627 --> 00:26:42,627
Yeah.
583
00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:47,728
Did you... you know...
584
00:26:47,828 --> 00:26:51,393
Yeah, sometimes it takes
a little more for me to,
585
00:26:51,494 --> 00:26:52,494
you know.
586
00:26:55,261 --> 00:26:57,194
Well, what can I do?
587
00:26:57,294 --> 00:26:58,994
What can I do?
588
00:27:30,596 --> 00:27:32,195
Mitch, you're the best.
589
00:27:32,295 --> 00:27:33,629
You're the best.
590
00:27:33,729 --> 00:27:36,496
Mitch, you're the best.
591
00:27:36,596 --> 00:27:37,595
Oh, god, you're the best.
592
00:27:40,895 --> 00:27:41,996
Mitch, you're the best.
593
00:27:42,096 --> 00:27:43,862
Mitch, you're the best.
594
00:27:43,962 --> 00:27:45,263
Mitch, you're the best.
595
00:27:45,362 --> 00:27:46,928
Mitch, you're the best.
596
00:27:47,028 --> 00:27:48,896
Mitch, you're the best.
597
00:27:48,996 --> 00:27:54,996
And that's the way... and
that's the way it happened.
598
00:27:57,597 --> 00:27:58,395
Wow!
599
00:27:58,496 --> 00:28:01,063
What a crock of shit.
600
00:28:01,163 --> 00:28:04,763
Like,
attention, is this thing on?
601
00:28:04,863 --> 00:28:09,497
Well, attention campers...
Like, go to the mess hall
602
00:28:09,597 --> 00:28:12,396
for a truly cool assembly.
603
00:28:12,497 --> 00:28:14,029
Ok, campers.
604
00:28:14,129 --> 00:28:18,163
It has been our tradition
here at camp big teepee.
605
00:28:18,263 --> 00:28:21,063
As I've told your parents,
on the last day of camp
606
00:28:21,163 --> 00:28:24,764
to always bring in our
nature appreciation film.
607
00:28:24,864 --> 00:28:29,029
And you'd better like...
I'm sure you'll like it.
608
00:28:29,129 --> 00:28:32,396
All right, Vinnie, come
on, come on, come on.
609
00:28:32,497 --> 00:28:33,564
Stop washing the dishes.
610
00:28:33,664 --> 00:28:35,764
Get out here and
start the damn movie.
611
00:28:35,864 --> 00:28:36,864
Oh, ok.
612
00:28:41,497 --> 00:28:42,497
Hit the lights.
613
00:28:47,530 --> 00:28:49,006
The asbestos
and toxic waste
614
00:28:49,030 --> 00:28:51,465
manufacturers of
america proudly present.
615
00:28:51,565 --> 00:28:54,665
"Nature: Your friend and mine."
616
00:28:54,765 --> 00:28:56,764
All over america
people are getting
617
00:28:56,864 --> 00:29:01,097
into the good old outdoors in
appreciating their environment.
618
00:29:01,197 --> 00:29:03,865
Let's take a trip
with the platt family.
619
00:29:03,965 --> 00:29:05,598
Mom and dad know
how important it
620
00:29:05,697 --> 00:29:08,098
is to have the appropriate
vehicle for their outing
621
00:29:08,198 --> 00:29:10,198
into the wilderness.
622
00:29:10,297 --> 00:29:13,131
Dad decided to get the
economy-sized vehicle with all
623
00:29:13,231 --> 00:29:16,965
the accessories... a vehicle that
illustrates their understanding
624
00:29:17,065 --> 00:29:18,531
of nature's delicate Harmony.
625
00:29:21,230 --> 00:29:22,607
Junior and sis have
been taught to respect
626
00:29:22,631 --> 00:29:25,731
all the little
animals in the forest.
627
00:29:25,831 --> 00:29:27,731
So remember, look, don't touch.
628
00:29:31,098 --> 00:29:34,298
Dad teaches his family that
the woods belonged to everyone
629
00:29:34,398 --> 00:29:36,499
and that there are many
people who come to the forest
630
00:29:36,598 --> 00:29:38,265
to appreciate the bird life.
631
00:29:38,365 --> 00:29:39,066
Daddy!
632
00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:39,865
Daddy!
633
00:29:39,965 --> 00:29:41,331
Look, a kirtland warbler.
634
00:29:41,432 --> 00:29:44,066
There are only about a hundred
of those left in the world.
635
00:29:44,166 --> 00:29:45,732
They are almost instinct.
636
00:29:45,831 --> 00:29:47,066
Come on, son.
637
00:29:47,166 --> 00:29:48,666
Let's blow it out of the sky.
638
00:29:56,966 --> 00:29:58,341
This film
has been brought
639
00:29:58,365 --> 00:30:01,499
to you by the asbestos and toxic
waste manufacturers of america.
640
00:30:04,299 --> 00:30:05,633
Isn't that great?
641
00:30:05,733 --> 00:30:06,832
Isn't that great?
642
00:30:06,932 --> 00:30:09,866
I told you we would have
some entertainment today.
643
00:30:09,966 --> 00:30:10,966
Let's hear it from you.
644
00:30:11,066 --> 00:30:13,500
I'm sure you got a
great story to tell.
645
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,000
It's none of your business.
646
00:30:15,100 --> 00:30:17,533
Danny Anderson, you promised.
647
00:30:17,633 --> 00:30:21,867
Well... let Henry go first.
648
00:30:21,967 --> 00:30:23,366
Yeah, come on, Henry.
649
00:30:23,467 --> 00:30:25,099
Oh, well, sure.
650
00:30:25,199 --> 00:30:28,033
I mean, with me, it
was never any problem.
651
00:30:28,132 --> 00:30:31,800
If I wanted a date, all I
ever had to do was reach over,
652
00:30:31,900 --> 00:30:35,067
pick up the phone,
and no problem.
653
00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:39,067
Hi there.
654
00:30:39,167 --> 00:30:40,533
I'm here to tell
you about lovers
655
00:30:40,633 --> 00:30:42,568
for losers new checkmate
dating service...
656
00:30:42,668 --> 00:30:44,709
Northern New Jersey's first
scientifically-controlled
657
00:30:44,733 --> 00:30:45,634
dating service.
658
00:30:45,734 --> 00:30:47,400
Sounds too good to be true?
659
00:30:47,501 --> 00:30:50,033
Just take a look at a few
of our satisfied customers
660
00:30:50,133 --> 00:30:52,600
and note how they're
all perfectly matched.
661
00:30:52,700 --> 00:30:55,168
I love my perfectly-matched
checkmate date.
662
00:30:55,268 --> 00:30:56,501
And she's herpes free.
663
00:31:00,868 --> 00:31:04,168
I love my perfectly-matched
checkmate date.
664
00:31:04,268 --> 00:31:07,268
And she's herpes-free.
665
00:31:07,368 --> 00:31:10,834
I love my perfectly-matched
checkmate date.
666
00:31:10,933 --> 00:31:13,068
And he's herpes-free too.
667
00:31:13,168 --> 00:31:15,034
So call now for a
herpes-free date that's
668
00:31:15,134 --> 00:31:16,669
also perfectly matched to you.
669
00:31:16,769 --> 00:31:18,177
Yes, if you're at home
right now watching
670
00:31:18,201 --> 00:31:19,310
this television
commercial, you're
671
00:31:19,334 --> 00:31:21,001
probably alone without a date.
672
00:31:21,101 --> 00:31:23,200
So get that hand out from
underneath that blanket
673
00:31:23,300 --> 00:31:27,334
and dial 888-6969,
yes, 888-6969 where
674
00:31:27,435 --> 00:31:31,134
our operators are standing by
to answer your call personally.
675
00:31:31,234 --> 00:31:33,593
Void in Oklahoma, Wisconsin,
and wherever prohibited by law.
676
00:31:36,334 --> 00:31:40,368
Now those, of course, were just
some of my more casual dates.
677
00:31:40,469 --> 00:31:43,935
But the first time it never
really happened for me
678
00:31:44,035 --> 00:31:46,802
was on Halloween night.
679
00:31:46,902 --> 00:31:51,502
This year, I decided to be
different and go as a ghost.
680
00:31:55,269 --> 00:31:56,369
Oh, wow!
681
00:31:56,470 --> 00:31:59,736
Mom makes the best Halloween
costumes of anybody.
682
00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:02,503
Hey, if I'm going to be
eating all that candy tonight,
683
00:32:02,603 --> 00:32:05,870
I better get something
solid in my stomach.
684
00:32:05,969 --> 00:32:06,969
Yeah, I need a pizza.
685
00:32:08,703 --> 00:32:11,402
There one slight
problem with my costume though.
686
00:32:11,503 --> 00:32:13,970
Mom forgot to cut a
hole for my mouth.
687
00:32:14,070 --> 00:32:18,103
When I tried to take off my
hood, the zipper got stuck.
688
00:32:18,202 --> 00:32:21,835
No matter how hard I struggled,
I couldn't get the hood off.
689
00:32:21,935 --> 00:32:23,203
I didn't panic.
690
00:32:23,303 --> 00:32:25,503
I just got a pizza to go.
691
00:32:25,603 --> 00:32:26,970
But my hood got turned around.
692
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:29,136
And I could hardly
see where I was going.
693
00:32:32,870 --> 00:32:33,703
That's my man, bitch.
694
00:32:33,803 --> 00:32:34,812
I usually walked
695
00:32:34,836 --> 00:32:36,303
across the school parking lot.
696
00:32:36,403 --> 00:32:40,936
But there was a bunch of
real naughty kids there.
697
00:32:41,036 --> 00:32:44,871
So I decided to avoid the
mand cut across the field.
698
00:32:44,971 --> 00:32:48,303
It's lucky I did because
these kids were real bad.
699
00:32:48,403 --> 00:32:50,003
Give me some money, blondie.
700
00:32:50,103 --> 00:32:52,437
I knew they'd
start trouble.
701
00:32:52,537 --> 00:32:54,037
I don't know what
you want from me.
702
00:32:54,137 --> 00:32:54,870
Money.
703
00:32:54,970 --> 00:32:55,671
Wait a minute.
704
00:32:55,771 --> 00:32:58,537
What's going on here?
705
00:32:58,637 --> 00:32:59,336
Hey!
706
00:32:59,437 --> 00:33:00,504
Get that bitch.
707
00:33:00,604 --> 00:33:01,603
Get that bitch, man.
708
00:33:10,771 --> 00:33:13,171
Ron, is that your
purse she's carrying.
709
00:33:13,270 --> 00:33:15,271
Yeah, that is my pink purse.
710
00:33:15,371 --> 00:33:18,271
Hey, man, you can't let
her take your purse, man.
711
00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:19,471
It got your lipstick in it.
712
00:33:19,571 --> 00:33:21,004
She must have stole it from me.
713
00:33:21,104 --> 00:33:22,180
Oh, please don't hurt me.
Please.
714
00:33:22,204 --> 00:33:23,071
Come on.
715
00:33:23,171 --> 00:33:25,404
Let's kill the
bitch, man, come on.
716
00:33:26,438 --> 00:33:28,604
Eeeyah!
717
00:33:34,072 --> 00:33:35,071
Eehyah!
718
00:33:37,771 --> 00:33:39,304
Where is it?
719
00:33:44,772 --> 00:33:46,305
Eeyah!
I'm done with the nice guy now.
720
00:33:46,405 --> 00:33:47,104
That's right.
721
00:33:47,204 --> 00:33:48,538
Hit her.
722
00:33:48,638 --> 00:33:51,838
Who turned out the lights?
723
00:33:51,938 --> 00:33:55,439
Hey, man, check
this shit out, man.
724
00:33:55,539 --> 00:33:58,806
It must be a ku klux klan
meeting somewhere, man.
725
00:33:58,906 --> 00:34:01,773
Hey, let's give them a real
Batman's welcome to the kkk.
726
00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:02,672
Hey, what's going on here?
727
00:34:02,772 --> 00:34:04,639
You in the wrong place, fool.
728
00:34:04,739 --> 00:34:05,638
You're going to die, man.
729
00:34:05,738 --> 00:34:06,778
Hey, what's going on here?
730
00:34:07,706 --> 00:34:10,072
Eeyah!
731
00:34:10,172 --> 00:34:11,172
Hey, ouch!
732
00:34:14,605 --> 00:34:16,473
All right, man.
733
00:34:16,573 --> 00:34:18,473
That's what you get, yeah.
734
00:34:18,573 --> 00:34:19,573
Yeah, man.
735
00:34:19,639 --> 00:34:22,006
Let's go, man.
736
00:34:22,106 --> 00:34:24,072
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
737
00:34:28,139 --> 00:34:29,739
Oh, my goodness.
738
00:34:29,839 --> 00:34:31,039
Don't hit me. Don't hit me.
739
00:34:31,139 --> 00:34:31,906
No, no, that's all right.
740
00:34:32,006 --> 00:34:33,106
They're gone.
741
00:34:36,039 --> 00:34:39,739
Oh, you poor thing.
742
00:34:39,839 --> 00:34:41,006
Are you ok?
743
00:34:41,106 --> 00:34:42,282
No, you came along just in time.
744
00:34:42,306 --> 00:34:43,073
Those guys had knives.
745
00:34:43,173 --> 00:34:44,173
Knives?
746
00:34:44,273 --> 00:34:45,515
It was smart of you
to put on that costume
747
00:34:45,539 --> 00:34:46,273
to scare them away, yeah.
748
00:34:46,373 --> 00:34:47,373
My costume?
749
00:34:47,406 --> 00:34:50,974
Oh, this was just a coinc...
Oh, yeah,
750
00:34:51,073 --> 00:34:54,074
I mean, I guess I was
pretty convincing, huh?
751
00:34:54,173 --> 00:34:57,273
Well, I guess I got to go.
752
00:34:57,373 --> 00:34:58,106
Wait a minute.
753
00:34:58,206 --> 00:34:59,074
I don't even know who you are.
754
00:34:59,174 --> 00:35:00,306
I don't even know your name.
755
00:35:00,406 --> 00:35:01,106
It doesn't matter.
756
00:35:01,206 --> 00:35:01,907
Yes, it does.
757
00:35:02,007 --> 00:35:04,106
You just saved my life.
758
00:35:04,206 --> 00:35:05,707
My name is Henry putz... goodbye.
759
00:35:05,807 --> 00:35:09,640
Henry, I don't know if I
should be asking you this.
760
00:35:09,740 --> 00:35:11,708
But do you think you
could walk me home.
761
00:35:11,807 --> 00:35:13,974
I'm still kind of shaken up.
762
00:35:14,074 --> 00:35:15,074
Sure.
763
00:35:19,074 --> 00:35:21,307
Well, there goes my dinner.
764
00:35:21,407 --> 00:35:22,407
That's ok.
765
00:35:22,508 --> 00:35:24,340
I'll get you something
to eat at my house.
766
00:35:24,441 --> 00:35:26,417
Little
did I know that I just saved
767
00:35:26,441 --> 00:35:29,441
the life of Barbara
billington, the richest,
768
00:35:29,541 --> 00:35:31,708
most beautiful,
most sophisticated
769
00:35:31,808 --> 00:35:34,641
teenage nymphomaniac in town.
770
00:35:34,741 --> 00:35:36,075
Wow!
771
00:35:36,175 --> 00:35:37,441
Nice house.
772
00:35:37,541 --> 00:35:39,808
Oh, thanks.
773
00:35:39,908 --> 00:35:42,275
Personally I think
it's a bit too big.
774
00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:45,576
But you see, when daddy died, he
left mom and me a lot of money.
775
00:35:45,676 --> 00:35:48,075
So we moved from akron
and bought this place.
776
00:35:48,175 --> 00:35:49,541
Yeah?
777
00:35:49,641 --> 00:35:51,275
My uncle
comes from akron.
778
00:35:51,375 --> 00:35:55,575
So, Henry, let me take
a look at wound for you.
779
00:35:55,675 --> 00:35:56,775
Oh, no, it's ok.
780
00:35:56,875 --> 00:35:59,542
Oh, Henry, it's a good
thing I'm looking at this.
781
00:35:59,641 --> 00:36:02,075
If you had gotten some of
that cheese into the cut,
782
00:36:02,175 --> 00:36:05,609
you could have gotten
mozzarella poisoning.
783
00:36:05,709 --> 00:36:08,275
Mozzarella poisoning?
784
00:36:08,375 --> 00:36:09,942
So, Henry, take off the costume.
785
00:36:10,042 --> 00:36:11,341
Let me look at it for you.
786
00:36:11,442 --> 00:36:12,876
Oh, no, it'll be ok.
787
00:36:12,976 --> 00:36:14,117
Henry, just let me take a look.
788
00:36:14,141 --> 00:36:14,842
No, no, no.
789
00:36:14,942 --> 00:36:15,942
It'll be ok.
790
00:36:15,976 --> 00:36:17,141
What's the matter with you?
791
00:36:17,241 --> 00:36:20,175
Well, it's just that I'm
kind of uptight about by body.
792
00:36:20,275 --> 00:36:22,018
I mean, my tits are bigger
than any girls I ever met.
793
00:36:22,042 --> 00:36:23,452
Oh, Henry, don't
say things like that.
794
00:36:23,476 --> 00:36:25,076
Why are you being so nice to me?
795
00:36:25,176 --> 00:36:26,876
Most girls usually
won't even talk to me.
796
00:36:26,976 --> 00:36:28,018
And when they do, it's
just to put me down.
797
00:36:28,042 --> 00:36:29,084
I think you're
a nice guy, Henry.
798
00:36:29,108 --> 00:36:30,348
There's nothing wrong with you.
799
00:36:30,376 --> 00:36:31,753
Most girls usually won't
even give me the time of day.
800
00:36:31,777 --> 00:36:33,052
And when they do,
that's always wrong.
801
00:36:33,076 --> 00:36:34,109
Oh, Henry.
802
00:36:34,209 --> 00:36:35,985
I mean, after all, it
is my own fault, I mean,
803
00:36:36,009 --> 00:36:37,118
because I am this big, fat oaf.
804
00:36:37,142 --> 00:36:39,409
Stop it, Henry.
805
00:36:39,510 --> 00:36:41,043
I mean, all the guys
that I go out with
806
00:36:41,142 --> 00:36:44,242
are just self-centere
degotistical maniacs.
807
00:36:44,342 --> 00:36:47,010
They just want to score so
they can brag to their friends.
808
00:36:47,110 --> 00:36:49,910
You're very different.
809
00:36:50,010 --> 00:36:51,009
Yeah?
810
00:36:54,677 --> 00:36:57,643
Are those dunkin' donuts?
811
00:36:57,743 --> 00:37:01,110
I thought they might
be your favorite.
812
00:37:01,210 --> 00:37:02,886
One
donut led to another.
813
00:37:02,910 --> 00:37:04,977
We just couldn't stop ourselves.
814
00:37:05,077 --> 00:37:08,777
And I guess weboth lost control.
815
00:37:08,877 --> 00:37:10,743
Oh, Henry.
816
00:37:10,843 --> 00:37:12,242
Oh, Henry, you are so good.
817
00:37:12,342 --> 00:37:16,043
You must be so experienced.
818
00:37:16,143 --> 00:37:18,077
Oh, Henry, am I
good enough for you?
819
00:37:25,778 --> 00:37:30,578
Oh, Henry.
820
00:37:30,678 --> 00:37:32,278
Really, Henry, tell me.
821
00:37:32,377 --> 00:37:33,744
Am I good enough?
822
00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:38,811
I don't think it could
get any better than this.
823
00:37:38,911 --> 00:37:39,910
Want to bet?
824
00:38:14,645 --> 00:38:16,044
Oh, I don't care what you do.
825
00:38:16,144 --> 00:38:17,045
Just get that thing off of me.
826
00:38:17,144 --> 00:38:18,944
I've got enough hair down there.
827
00:38:19,044 --> 00:38:20,421
I don't need that
hairy thing there.
828
00:38:20,445 --> 00:38:21,812
Now get it off of me now!
829
00:38:21,912 --> 00:38:24,746
Now, she won't hurt you
if you don't hurt her.
830
00:38:24,845 --> 00:38:26,579
She's only trying to
protect her young.
831
00:38:26,679 --> 00:38:27,713
What about my young?
832
00:38:27,813 --> 00:38:29,521
Now, calm down, Henry,
don't excite yourself.
833
00:38:29,545 --> 00:38:30,545
I'll handle this.
834
00:38:34,179 --> 00:38:36,012
Yaaah!
835
00:38:40,411 --> 00:38:41,451
Wow, nice forehand.
836
00:38:45,145 --> 00:38:47,513
Now campers, I hate to have
to punish you in this way.
837
00:38:47,613 --> 00:38:50,846
But no matter what I do, I can't
get you do arts and crafts.
838
00:38:50,946 --> 00:38:54,245
So I brought something that I
think will keep you interested.
839
00:38:54,345 --> 00:38:56,813
Now, this is going to
be a sculpture class.
840
00:38:56,913 --> 00:38:58,389
You each have your
own individual wads
841
00:38:58,413 --> 00:38:59,913
of Clay in front of you.
842
00:39:00,013 --> 00:39:01,490
And I would like you
all to get to work.
843
00:39:01,514 --> 00:39:03,646
Now, get to work.
844
00:39:03,746 --> 00:39:06,713
What are we supposed
to make a sculpture of?
845
00:39:06,813 --> 00:39:08,145
Yeah.
846
00:39:08,245 --> 00:39:09,614
Calm down.
847
00:39:09,713 --> 00:39:11,352
I'd like you all make
a sculpture of this.
848
00:39:14,279 --> 00:39:15,279
Doh!
849
00:39:28,447 --> 00:39:29,514
Get out of my way.
850
00:39:29,614 --> 00:39:30,647
Get out of my way.
851
00:39:30,747 --> 00:39:31,581
No, cuts.
852
00:39:31,681 --> 00:39:33,246
I've been waiting
since yesterday.
853
00:39:33,346 --> 00:39:34,923
I gave up baseball for
this, for Christ's sake.
854
00:39:34,947 --> 00:39:35,681
It's my turn, broads.
855
00:39:35,781 --> 00:39:36,481
Get out of the way.
856
00:39:36,581 --> 00:39:38,681
It's my turn.
857
00:39:38,781 --> 00:39:40,323
I'm sure Mr. Zitzler
has the state police
858
00:39:40,347 --> 00:39:42,447
out looking for us by now.
859
00:39:47,847 --> 00:39:48,547
Mr. Zitzler.
860
00:39:48,647 --> 00:39:50,548
What do you want?
861
00:39:50,647 --> 00:39:52,281
Can't just see I'm busy, stinky.
862
00:39:52,381 --> 00:39:53,980
Well, here are the
magazines you ordered.
863
00:39:56,881 --> 00:39:58,582
Thanks Mr. Zitzler.
864
00:39:58,682 --> 00:40:01,014
Oh, the kids that got
lost in the nature walk.
865
00:40:01,114 --> 00:40:03,014
They still can't find them.
866
00:40:03,114 --> 00:40:05,848
So keep looking.
867
00:40:05,947 --> 00:40:08,648
Full house.
868
00:40:08,748 --> 00:40:10,915
Mr. Zitzler, my frog is sick.
869
00:40:11,015 --> 00:40:12,615
You get away from
here, you creep.
870
00:40:12,715 --> 00:40:15,682
Mr. Zitzler is not
eating his cocoa crispies.
871
00:40:15,782 --> 00:40:17,882
Get!
872
00:40:17,982 --> 00:40:19,381
You see what I havet
to put up with?
873
00:40:27,215 --> 00:40:31,483
Well, we're not too low on food.
874
00:40:31,582 --> 00:40:34,549
But we just ran out of water.
875
00:40:34,648 --> 00:40:37,948
I'm sure the whole camp must
be looking for us by now.
876
00:40:38,048 --> 00:40:40,449
Listen up... listen
up big teepeers,
877
00:40:40,549 --> 00:40:42,348
we've got a little problem.
878
00:40:42,449 --> 00:40:46,115
Four campers and Michelle
farmer, your nature counselor,
879
00:40:46,215 --> 00:40:47,583
are lost.
880
00:40:47,683 --> 00:40:52,082
Now, you all know that
here at camp big teepee,
881
00:40:52,182 --> 00:40:56,449
we all like to consider
ourselves a big, happy family
882
00:40:56,549 --> 00:40:58,048
that sticks together.
883
00:40:58,148 --> 00:40:59,316
Ah, phooey.
884
00:40:59,415 --> 00:41:02,983
And now we've all got to
get together to help find
885
00:41:03,083 --> 00:41:04,683
Michelle shell and her campers.
886
00:41:04,783 --> 00:41:07,449
Because if we don't
find them, the camp
887
00:41:07,549 --> 00:41:09,149
will shut down next year.
888
00:41:15,584 --> 00:41:16,716
Did anybody hear anything?
889
00:41:16,816 --> 00:41:17,517
No.
890
00:41:17,617 --> 00:41:18,917
No.
891
00:41:19,017 --> 00:41:20,684
I thought I heard something.
892
00:41:20,784 --> 00:41:22,184
We should be saved soon.
893
00:41:22,284 --> 00:41:24,750
My mom's coming to
pick me up today.
894
00:41:24,850 --> 00:41:28,050
She's going to go nuts
if she can't find me.
895
00:41:28,150 --> 00:41:30,184
Why, Mrs. Anderson, I
was just looking for you.
896
00:41:30,283 --> 00:41:32,183
You know very well, I
phoned you this morning
897
00:41:32,283 --> 00:41:35,149
and told you I'd be there
promptly this afternoon
898
00:41:35,249 --> 00:41:36,784
to pick up my Danny.
899
00:41:36,884 --> 00:41:38,617
Now, where is he?
900
00:41:38,717 --> 00:41:40,417
What's going on around here?
901
00:41:40,518 --> 00:41:41,717
Here?
902
00:41:41,817 --> 00:41:43,160
Well, here is the basketball
court where we teach them
903
00:41:43,184 --> 00:41:44,192
the rudiments of basketball.
904
00:41:44,216 --> 00:41:46,284
Basketball, my Danny
loves basketball.
905
00:41:46,384 --> 00:41:47,617
Is he playing?
906
00:41:47,717 --> 00:41:49,685
Well, playing is only
a figurative term, mam,
907
00:41:49,785 --> 00:41:51,117
you see it parallels the life...
908
00:41:51,217 --> 00:41:53,184
Can't you take me
to see my Danny?
909
00:41:53,284 --> 00:41:54,117
Can you?
910
00:41:54,217 --> 00:41:55,084
Can you?
911
00:41:55,184 --> 00:41:56,184
Can you?
912
00:41:56,284 --> 00:41:57,284
Canoe.
913
00:41:57,350 --> 00:41:58,761
Yes, we have a marvelous
canoeing program.
914
00:41:58,785 --> 00:42:01,150
And I'd love to show
you this, Mrs. Anderson.
915
00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:04,417
Anne, you can be
so quiet lately.
916
00:42:04,518 --> 00:42:06,851
It's getting cold in here.
917
00:42:06,951 --> 00:42:09,017
Try not to think about the cold.
918
00:42:09,117 --> 00:42:12,284
Think about something else.
919
00:42:12,384 --> 00:42:15,350
Think about the first time
you got laid because I
920
00:42:15,451 --> 00:42:18,184
want to hear all about it.
921
00:42:18,284 --> 00:42:20,285
Yeah, me too.
922
00:42:20,385 --> 00:42:22,351
Well, I'm sure my
stories isn't half
923
00:42:22,452 --> 00:42:25,051
as exciting as any of yours.
924
00:42:25,151 --> 00:42:26,985
I'm just a little farm girl.
925
00:42:27,085 --> 00:42:30,118
And didn't know any
little boys farm boys my age.
926
00:42:30,218 --> 00:42:34,118
The work was so hard and the
hired hands were so lazy,
927
00:42:34,218 --> 00:42:37,185
I had to make out
the best I could.
928
00:42:37,285 --> 00:42:39,385
I don't know what
it was, whether it
929
00:42:39,486 --> 00:42:43,251
was the heat, the sweat, the
frustration of the farm work
930
00:42:43,351 --> 00:42:44,918
or what.
931
00:42:45,018 --> 00:42:47,985
But something changed
for me that day.
932
00:42:48,085 --> 00:42:50,919
And it first hit me later
that night when my girlfriends
933
00:42:51,018 --> 00:42:53,952
came over for a slumber party.
934
00:42:54,052 --> 00:42:56,720
Annie, I'm going to go on my
very first date Saturday night.
935
00:42:56,819 --> 00:42:58,552
What should I do?
936
00:42:58,652 --> 00:43:00,519
Ok, this is what you do.
937
00:43:00,619 --> 00:43:03,786
Now, put your hand on
his leg about up to here.
938
00:43:03,886 --> 00:43:06,086
You don't want him to
think you're too easy.
939
00:43:06,186 --> 00:43:09,952
Now, he's going to
pretend to yawn like this.
940
00:43:10,052 --> 00:43:12,352
He's going to go to second base.
941
00:43:12,452 --> 00:43:13,620
Don't worry.
942
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:17,119
He's just going to feel you up.
943
00:43:17,219 --> 00:43:19,587
Well, but what if
he tries to kiss me?
944
00:43:19,687 --> 00:43:22,052
There are two kinds of kisses.
945
00:43:22,152 --> 00:43:23,853
The dry kiss and the wet kiss.
946
00:43:23,953 --> 00:43:25,753
This is dry kiss.
947
00:43:27,819 --> 00:43:28,953
Now, this is the wet kiss.
948
00:43:29,053 --> 00:43:30,420
Stick out your tongue like me.
949
00:43:36,688 --> 00:43:37,753
Did anybody hear anything?
950
00:43:37,853 --> 00:43:38,720
No -uh-uh.
951
00:43:38,820 --> 00:43:39,820
No?
952
00:43:42,754 --> 00:43:43,963
Maybe one of the
animals got loose.
953
00:43:43,987 --> 00:43:44,687
I'm going to go check.
954
00:43:44,787 --> 00:43:45,827
Great, get us some donuts.
955
00:43:45,854 --> 00:43:46,553
Apple spice.
956
00:43:46,653 --> 00:43:47,653
Apple spice.
957
00:43:49,620 --> 00:43:50,939
Little did know
958
00:43:50,987 --> 00:43:54,988
that a starving, out-of-work
actor had broken into my house.
959
00:43:58,287 --> 00:44:00,054
That Annie, she
doesn't know anything.
960
00:44:00,153 --> 00:44:01,521
Now, you see this.
961
00:44:01,620 --> 00:44:02,688
Let me show you something.
962
00:44:17,187 --> 00:44:19,088
Ah, don't make a sound.
963
00:44:19,188 --> 00:44:21,421
Are you listening to me, huh?
964
00:44:21,522 --> 00:44:22,522
Now, do as I say.
965
00:44:22,589 --> 00:44:23,997
Or I'll slit your
throat and let the blood
966
00:44:24,021 --> 00:44:25,988
drip all over your nice nighty.
967
00:44:26,088 --> 00:44:29,454
Now, when I take my hand
off your mouth, ha, ha,
968
00:44:29,554 --> 00:44:31,489
I don't want you to scream.
969
00:44:31,589 --> 00:44:35,154
I don't want you
to make a sound.
970
00:44:35,254 --> 00:44:39,188
Then what I want you
to do... I want you
971
00:44:39,288 --> 00:44:45,321
to get some milk and cookies.
972
00:44:45,421 --> 00:44:49,689
Then I can take my hand
off and don't make a sound.
973
00:44:56,155 --> 00:44:59,822
Ok, butter or
buster, who are you?
974
00:44:59,922 --> 00:45:01,322
Johnny... Johnny Robbins.
975
00:45:01,422 --> 00:45:02,555
What are you doing here?
976
00:45:02,655 --> 00:45:03,765
I just wanted something to eat.
977
00:45:03,789 --> 00:45:05,622
I've been running all night.
978
00:45:05,722 --> 00:45:07,355
You are scared.
979
00:45:07,456 --> 00:45:08,855
Can I have something
to eat, please?
980
00:45:12,523 --> 00:45:15,289
I had no choice but
to get him something to eat.
981
00:45:15,389 --> 00:45:18,055
And I knew it had
to taste real good.
982
00:45:25,523 --> 00:45:28,355
After I was nice enough
to meet his demands,
983
00:45:28,456 --> 00:45:30,289
he dragged me into our stable.
984
00:45:34,556 --> 00:45:36,556
First, he tried to seduce me.
985
00:45:41,657 --> 00:45:43,723
Then he grabbed and kissed me.
986
00:45:43,823 --> 00:45:48,057
He began tearing off my
clothes.
987
00:45:48,157 --> 00:45:52,323
He couldn't keep his rough
and calloused hands off me.
988
00:45:56,624 --> 00:46:00,124
Now that he had his cookies,
he decided he wanted the milk.
989
00:46:20,924 --> 00:46:23,291
You're in me.
990
00:46:24,391 --> 00:46:28,757
Oh, yes.
991
00:46:47,124 --> 00:46:48,124
Yes!
992
00:46:55,025 --> 00:46:57,758
Yes!
993
00:46:58,792 --> 00:47:01,058
Yes!
994
00:47:02,357 --> 00:47:05,158
Johnny?
995
00:47:05,258 --> 00:47:07,559
Johnny, I'm not finished yet.
996
00:47:07,659 --> 00:47:09,459
I want more.
997
00:47:09,559 --> 00:47:12,258
More.
998
00:47:12,358 --> 00:47:13,258
More.
999
00:47:13,358 --> 00:47:14,158
More.
1000
00:47:14,258 --> 00:47:15,993
He was a madman.
1001
00:47:16,093 --> 00:47:17,158
He was crazy.
1002
00:47:17,258 --> 00:47:18,258
He made me do it.
1003
00:47:18,358 --> 00:47:19,793
I had no other choice.
1004
00:47:19,893 --> 00:47:21,125
You poor baby.
1005
00:47:21,225 --> 00:47:25,193
Aw, come on, Annie, you can't
expect us to believe that.
1006
00:47:25,293 --> 00:47:26,459
Oh, yeah?
1007
00:47:26,559 --> 00:47:27,793
He left this behind.
1008
00:47:30,425 --> 00:47:31,560
Oh, you poor thing.
1009
00:47:31,660 --> 00:47:33,659
Oh, my god, I didn't realize.
1010
00:47:33,759 --> 00:47:36,093
What a horrifying experience.
1011
00:47:36,193 --> 00:47:36,893
That's terrible.
1012
00:47:36,993 --> 00:47:39,593
Come here.
1013
00:47:39,693 --> 00:47:42,393
That's really terrible.
1014
00:47:42,494 --> 00:47:45,726
I'm really glad to see
that you've got over that.
1015
00:47:45,826 --> 00:47:48,893
I've never heard
anything quite that bad.
1016
00:47:48,993 --> 00:47:50,993
How did you get over it?
1017
00:47:51,093 --> 00:47:52,093
Hey, my knife.
1018
00:47:57,159 --> 00:47:59,627
That Mary Lou was
amazing bozo, that bod.
1019
00:47:59,727 --> 00:48:01,059
Ooh, I want her so bad.
1020
00:48:01,159 --> 00:48:02,660
She's not interested
in nobody, man.
1021
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:03,759
What am I going to do?
1022
00:48:03,827 --> 00:48:04,393
I have been thinking
about this all day.
1023
00:48:04,494 --> 00:48:05,794
I got a great idea.
1024
00:48:05,894 --> 00:48:08,036
Ok, I read somewhere if you want
a girl to go crazy about you.
1025
00:48:08,060 --> 00:48:08,761
Yeah?
1026
00:48:08,860 --> 00:48:09,727
You do it in her food.
1027
00:48:09,827 --> 00:48:10,527
Yeah?
1028
00:48:10,627 --> 00:48:11,394
And she eats it.
1029
00:48:11,495 --> 00:48:12,193
Yeah?
1030
00:48:12,293 --> 00:48:14,027
She'll be all over you, man.
1031
00:48:14,127 --> 00:48:16,094
We're talking instant nature.
1032
00:48:16,194 --> 00:48:17,971
I'm telling you just make
sure you get it in her food.
1033
00:48:17,995 --> 00:48:19,471
- All right.
- Make sure she eats it, man.
1034
00:48:19,495 --> 00:48:20,360
She'll be all over it.
1035
00:48:20,461 --> 00:48:21,703
- All right, Melvin?
- All right, man.
1036
00:48:21,727 --> 00:48:22,528
Can you handle it, Melvin?
1037
00:48:22,628 --> 00:48:24,259
I know I can handle it, man.
1038
00:48:24,359 --> 00:48:26,461
Hey, there's Mary Lou.
1039
00:48:26,561 --> 00:48:27,960
And she's wearing that bikini.
1040
00:48:28,060 --> 00:48:31,060
Oh, those nipples.
1041
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:32,804
She's going to eat it
just like I told you.
1042
00:48:32,828 --> 00:48:33,827
Just like I told you.
1043
00:48:33,860 --> 00:48:35,300
Any minute she'll
be heading our way.
1044
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,661
Yep, Mary Lou is
thinking about eating it.
1045
00:48:40,761 --> 00:48:41,595
What the?
1046
00:48:41,695 --> 00:48:42,529
I don't know.
1047
00:48:42,628 --> 00:48:43,461
Hey?
1048
00:48:43,561 --> 00:48:45,761
What's that fat slob doing.
1049
00:48:45,860 --> 00:48:47,394
She's eating it.
1050
00:48:47,495 --> 00:48:51,961
Butch is eating it.
Oh, no.
1051
00:48:52,060 --> 00:48:52,761
Oh, no.
1052
00:48:52,861 --> 00:48:53,861
Can't be.
1053
00:48:53,961 --> 00:48:57,562
Oh, no, 300 pounds.
1054
00:48:57,662 --> 00:48:59,395
I love you.
1055
00:48:59,496 --> 00:49:00,928
I want your body.
1056
00:49:01,028 --> 00:49:03,662
Do you have something to
tell us there, howdy doody?
1057
00:49:03,762 --> 00:49:05,928
Well, I guess so if
you're still interested.
1058
00:49:06,028 --> 00:49:08,061
Sure, we can going
to use a good nap.
1059
00:49:08,161 --> 00:49:11,095
Nap on this, stub.
1060
00:49:11,195 --> 00:49:14,328
Well, my story begins
when I was much younger.
1061
00:49:14,428 --> 00:49:17,562
I had a very clear picture
of the girl of my dreams.
1062
00:49:17,662 --> 00:49:19,371
Unfortunately,
she was only in the pages
1063
00:49:19,395 --> 00:49:20,662
of "penthouse magazine."
1064
00:49:33,597 --> 00:49:38,929
I guess my Danny must
be reading in bed again.
1065
00:49:41,529 --> 00:49:43,673
My big opportunity
came when my brother Ted and I
1066
00:49:43,697 --> 00:49:45,963
went on vacation
down to the Caribbean
1067
00:49:46,063 --> 00:49:49,030
where I got to see him in action
with all those gorgeous girls.
1068
00:49:49,130 --> 00:49:51,997
Last night
just wasn't long enough.
1069
00:49:52,097 --> 00:49:54,930
The cops had to break
us up on the beach.
1070
00:49:55,030 --> 00:49:56,897
Well, how about this one?
1071
00:49:56,996 --> 00:49:59,362
You can see sleepover.
1072
00:50:19,498 --> 00:50:20,497
Eureka!
1073
00:50:23,464 --> 00:50:27,130
See you later
tonight, iron thighs.
1074
00:50:27,230 --> 00:50:29,231
I have to go do my nails.
1075
00:50:29,331 --> 00:50:33,598
I want to look good for
you all over my body.
1076
00:50:33,698 --> 00:50:35,031
You already do, baby.
1077
00:50:38,963 --> 00:50:40,330
Wow!
1078
00:50:40,430 --> 00:50:42,798
She practically tore
your bathing suit off.
1079
00:50:42,898 --> 00:50:43,764
You think she was hot.
1080
00:50:43,864 --> 00:50:45,698
You should see her friend.
1081
00:50:45,798 --> 00:50:48,030
By the way, fixed you
up with her tonight.
1082
00:50:48,130 --> 00:50:49,130
Wow!
1083
00:50:49,164 --> 00:50:50,699
A date for me?
1084
00:50:50,799 --> 00:50:51,564
Thanks, big brother.
1085
00:50:51,664 --> 00:50:52,664
Anything for you, pal.
1086
00:50:56,732 --> 00:50:59,632
Listen, tonight don't
embarrass me, ok?
1087
00:50:59,732 --> 00:51:01,732
So when you got this
chick in your room, right?
1088
00:51:01,831 --> 00:51:03,008
You start banging away at her.
1089
00:51:03,032 --> 00:51:05,665
Make sure she's really
screaming loud, all right?
1090
00:51:05,765 --> 00:51:06,564
Screaming?
1091
00:51:06,664 --> 00:51:07,364
Sure.
1092
00:51:07,465 --> 00:51:08,164
Why?
1093
00:51:08,264 --> 00:51:09,065
Do I hurt her?
1094
00:51:09,165 --> 00:51:10,532
No, it's for the effect.
1095
00:51:10,632 --> 00:51:11,632
Just think about it.
1096
00:51:11,732 --> 00:51:12,998
You're in there banging away.
1097
00:51:13,098 --> 00:51:13,865
And she's screaming.
1098
00:51:13,965 --> 00:51:15,432
Your buddies are outside, ok?
1099
00:51:15,532 --> 00:51:16,431
You're screaming your name.
1100
00:51:16,532 --> 00:51:17,641
And you're going,
boy, that Danny.
1101
00:51:17,665 --> 00:51:19,064
He's hung like a horse.
1102
00:51:19,164 --> 00:51:20,164
Yeah.
1103
00:51:25,932 --> 00:51:27,052
Hey, you want another trick?
1104
00:51:27,132 --> 00:51:28,198
Always worked for me?
1105
00:51:28,298 --> 00:51:29,298
What?
1106
00:51:29,332 --> 00:51:30,375
Take a big was of
toilet paper, right?
1107
00:51:30,399 --> 00:51:31,398
Shove it down your pants.
1108
00:51:32,699 --> 00:51:35,132
That way she'll see you...
A nice, big bulge down there.
1109
00:51:35,232 --> 00:51:36,308
She's got something
to work with.
1110
00:51:36,332 --> 00:51:37,899
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
1111
00:51:37,999 --> 00:51:39,509
You're going to have a
good time tonight, buddy.
1112
00:51:39,533 --> 00:51:40,532
Yeah.
1113
00:51:56,500 --> 00:51:57,500
Eureka!
1114
00:52:02,900 --> 00:52:05,900
Suddenly,
felt a strange heat on my back.
1115
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:06,866
I turned around.
1116
00:52:06,966 --> 00:52:09,133
And there she was...
My dream girl.
1117
00:52:09,233 --> 00:52:11,500
She was even more
beautiful in person.
1118
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:12,701
I thought I was dreaming.
1119
00:52:12,801 --> 00:52:14,432
But, no, it was true.
1120
00:52:14,533 --> 00:52:16,333
The girl from the
pages of "penthouse"
1121
00:52:16,433 --> 00:52:18,467
was standing right
in front of me.
1122
00:52:22,067 --> 00:52:23,133
I was speechless.
1123
00:52:23,233 --> 00:52:26,133
I couldn't believe my eyes.
1124
00:52:26,233 --> 00:52:27,967
Before I could make
my move, she was gone.
1125
00:52:37,334 --> 00:52:38,910
Just
when I thought I'd never
1126
00:52:38,934 --> 00:52:41,166
see her again, I turned around.
1127
00:52:41,266 --> 00:52:42,266
And there she was.
1128
00:52:58,067 --> 00:53:00,867
I didn't know if my eyes were
playing tricks on me or what.
1129
00:53:00,967 --> 00:53:02,901
So I had to tell my brother.
1130
00:53:03,001 --> 00:53:07,568
I said, Ted, Ted,
did you see that?
1131
00:53:07,668 --> 00:53:08,667
What?
1132
00:53:08,767 --> 00:53:10,310
It's the girl on the
cover of "penthouse."
1133
00:53:10,334 --> 00:53:13,167
She smiled at me.
1134
00:53:16,668 --> 00:53:17,867
He said...
1135
00:53:17,967 --> 00:53:20,011
Danny, I really think you've
been spending a little too
1136
00:53:20,035 --> 00:53:21,902
much time in the sun, pal.
1137
00:53:22,002 --> 00:53:24,277
I figured
maybe I had been out in the sun
1138
00:53:24,301 --> 00:53:26,202
too long.
1139
00:53:26,302 --> 00:53:27,702
Hey, boss, look!
1140
00:53:27,802 --> 00:53:28,668
The plane!
1141
00:53:28,768 --> 00:53:29,768
The plane!
1142
00:53:35,936 --> 00:53:37,111
Ted and I planned
1143
00:53:37,135 --> 00:53:38,469
to stick together that night.
1144
00:53:38,569 --> 00:53:40,603
He said teamwork was
the name of the game.
1145
00:53:40,703 --> 00:53:41,903
Yeah, teamwork.
1146
00:53:48,269 --> 00:53:51,503
The last time... did you
see her on the beach today?
1147
00:53:51,603 --> 00:53:54,536
Would you stop messing
around with this magazine?
1148
00:53:54,636 --> 00:53:56,169
Look, just turn the centerfold.
1149
00:53:56,269 --> 00:53:58,636
Maybe you'll recognize
her from there.
1150
00:53:58,736 --> 00:54:01,503
These pages are
all stuck together.
1151
00:54:01,603 --> 00:54:04,268
What have you been
doing with this?
1152
00:54:04,368 --> 00:54:08,336
Now, listen, why don't you just
forget about girls in magazines
1153
00:54:08,436 --> 00:54:11,003
and start to think about the
real poontang coming over here
1154
00:54:11,103 --> 00:54:12,103
tonight?
1155
00:54:13,003 --> 00:54:14,036
Gladys.
1156
00:54:14,136 --> 00:54:15,436
Gladys, yeah.
1157
00:54:15,537 --> 00:54:18,604
Tonight, buddy, you're
going to be a man.
1158
00:54:18,704 --> 00:54:19,969
Yeah.
1159
00:54:20,069 --> 00:54:21,504
All right, now
these girls are hot.
1160
00:54:21,604 --> 00:54:22,712
So we've got to be on our toes.
1161
00:54:22,736 --> 00:54:24,279
Ok, let's make sure we
have everything set up.
1162
00:54:24,303 --> 00:54:25,003
Ok.
1163
00:54:25,103 --> 00:54:26,269
Got the liquor?
1164
00:54:26,369 --> 00:54:27,070
Check.
1165
00:54:27,170 --> 00:54:28,803
Reefer.
1166
00:54:28,903 --> 00:54:29,604
Check.
1167
00:54:29,704 --> 00:54:32,169
Rubbers.
1168
00:54:32,269 --> 00:54:33,104
Check.
1169
00:54:33,204 --> 00:54:35,937
Petroleum jelly?
1170
00:54:36,037 --> 00:54:37,336
Check.
1171
00:54:37,436 --> 00:54:41,770
Hey, Danny, tonight, it's just
you and me... team inseparable.
1172
00:54:41,870 --> 00:54:43,104
Yeah.
1173
00:54:43,204 --> 00:54:44,470
Teddy, boy.
1174
00:54:48,270 --> 00:54:49,270
Mona.
1175
00:54:49,370 --> 00:54:53,004
Hey, baby, you look
like a million bucks.
1176
00:54:53,104 --> 00:54:57,571
You're looking pretty good
tonight yourself, iron thighs.
1177
00:54:57,671 --> 00:54:59,070
Hey, who is this kid?
1178
00:54:59,170 --> 00:55:00,370
It's my little brother, Danny.
1179
00:55:00,471 --> 00:55:02,104
You remember him from the beach.
1180
00:55:02,204 --> 00:55:03,764
He's supposed to be
with Gladys tonight.
1181
00:55:03,805 --> 00:55:04,705
Where is she anyway?
1182
00:55:04,804 --> 00:55:06,004
Oh, I forgot to tell her.
1183
00:55:06,104 --> 00:55:07,904
I had important things to do.
1184
00:55:08,004 --> 00:55:10,071
I had to do my nails.
1185
00:55:10,171 --> 00:55:13,038
Hey, are we going to end
up babysitting tonight?
1186
00:55:13,138 --> 00:55:14,638
What is this?
1187
00:55:14,738 --> 00:55:15,805
No, he was just leaving.
1188
00:55:15,905 --> 00:55:17,170
Weren't you, Danny?
1189
00:55:17,270 --> 00:55:18,270
Scram.
1190
00:55:18,304 --> 00:55:19,038
Beat it.
1191
00:55:19,138 --> 00:55:20,180
Here's your hat and your whip.
1192
00:55:20,204 --> 00:55:21,938
And here is a dollar.
1193
00:55:22,038 --> 00:55:23,614
Why don't you go out
and maybe see a movie
1194
00:55:23,638 --> 00:55:24,881
and sleep on the
beach tonight, buddy.
1195
00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:25,606
Thanks a lot.
1196
00:55:25,706 --> 00:55:26,825
I'll see you in the morning.
1197
00:55:29,738 --> 00:55:33,205
Ok, Teddy, baby, let's party.
1198
00:55:33,305 --> 00:55:34,305
All right!
1199
00:55:54,438 --> 00:55:55,438
Wuh?
1200
00:55:59,339 --> 00:56:00,772
Hello.
1201
00:56:00,872 --> 00:56:03,772
I've been waiting for you.
1202
00:56:03,872 --> 00:56:05,072
For me?
1203
00:56:05,172 --> 00:56:07,139
Your name is Danny isn't it?
1204
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:08,673
How did you know?
1205
00:56:08,773 --> 00:56:12,072
Oh, just a lucky guess.
1206
00:56:12,172 --> 00:56:12,972
Have some champagne.
1207
00:56:13,072 --> 00:56:14,272
It's wonderful.
1208
00:56:22,072 --> 00:56:27,540
Here is too long nights
and deep emotions.
1209
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:29,540
I'll drink to that.
1210
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:32,473
They say if you
wish hard enough,
1211
00:56:32,573 --> 00:56:35,107
your dream can come true.
1212
00:56:35,207 --> 00:56:36,207
They do?
1213
00:56:36,240 --> 00:56:39,440
They say if a
dream can come true,
1214
00:56:39,540 --> 00:56:42,607
it'll change your life forever.
1215
00:56:42,707 --> 00:56:43,840
They do?
1216
00:56:43,940 --> 00:56:47,940
They say that falling
in love is wonderful.
1217
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:49,340
They do?
1218
00:56:49,439 --> 00:56:50,940
Yeah.
1219
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:52,907
Wow!
1220
00:56:53,007 --> 00:56:54,907
Mona, you're kind of
special to me, you know?
1221
00:56:57,708 --> 00:57:00,108
I've never met anybody
like you before.
1222
00:57:01,340 --> 00:57:03,340
I really think I'm
falling in love with you.
1223
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:04,439
Ted!
1224
00:57:04,508 --> 00:57:06,574
Ted, we have the whole
night ahead of us.
1225
00:57:06,674 --> 00:57:08,974
I wouldn't want
you peak too soon.
1226
00:57:09,074 --> 00:57:11,373
How about another drink?
1227
00:57:11,474 --> 00:57:13,273
But you've already had seven.
1228
00:57:13,373 --> 00:57:15,441
Oh, come one, Danny,
you've been dreaming
1229
00:57:15,542 --> 00:57:17,407
about this for a long time.
1230
00:57:17,508 --> 00:57:19,908
But I don't understand.
1231
00:57:20,008 --> 00:57:21,441
I saw you on the beach today.
1232
00:57:21,542 --> 00:57:22,808
And then you disappeared.
1233
00:57:22,908 --> 00:57:24,908
And there's a fat
man in your chair.
1234
00:57:25,008 --> 00:57:28,074
And what are you
trying to do to me?
1235
00:57:28,174 --> 00:57:31,674
I'm going to do to you
exactly what you want me to.
1236
00:57:53,709 --> 00:57:54,575
Oh, Mona.
1237
00:57:54,675 --> 00:57:55,476
Oh, stop!
1238
00:57:55,576 --> 00:57:57,175
Wait!
1239
00:57:57,275 --> 00:58:00,575
I don't even know any
important thing about you.
1240
00:58:00,675 --> 00:58:03,476
I mean, for example,
what's your sign?
1241
00:58:03,575 --> 00:58:05,509
I'm Taurus... the bull.
1242
00:58:08,742 --> 00:58:10,442
I mean, like where
do you go to school.
1243
00:58:10,543 --> 00:58:12,109
What does your father do?
1244
00:58:12,209 --> 00:58:13,610
He's a plumber or something.
1245
00:58:13,710 --> 00:58:15,342
Who cares?
1246
00:58:15,442 --> 00:58:16,762
Well, it's just
that I like to get
1247
00:58:16,843 --> 00:58:19,342
to know my man a little
bit better before I take
1248
00:58:19,442 --> 00:58:22,976
them to that special place.
1249
00:58:23,076 --> 00:58:24,643
What's your name again?
1250
00:58:37,576 --> 00:58:38,976
Danny, your bulge.
1251
00:58:47,376 --> 00:58:50,143
Danny, you don't
have to impress me.
1252
00:58:52,176 --> 00:58:53,319
Then it happened just
1253
00:58:53,343 --> 00:58:55,243
like my brother said it would.
1254
00:58:55,343 --> 00:58:57,676
I didn't know if I could live
up to my brother's standards.
1255
00:58:59,443 --> 00:59:01,343
I'm going to porkyou, you bitch.
1256
00:59:01,443 --> 00:59:04,143
When I heard
Ted's girl, Mona, screaming,
1257
00:59:04,243 --> 00:59:06,144
I knew Ted had
things under control.
1258
00:59:08,111 --> 00:59:10,844
God!
1259
00:59:13,343 --> 00:59:16,077
Oh, Teddy, I'm so sorry.
1260
00:59:16,176 --> 00:59:17,677
Let me rub it for you.
1261
00:59:17,777 --> 00:59:19,310
Maybe I can make it feel better.
1262
00:59:19,410 --> 00:59:20,712
No, no, get out of here.
1263
00:59:20,811 --> 00:59:21,810
Just leave me alone.
1264
00:59:24,512 --> 00:59:27,811
Well, thanks for
the lovely evening.
1265
00:59:54,312 --> 00:59:57,145
I knew
I had matters well in hand.
1266
00:59:57,245 --> 00:59:58,524
Ted would have been proud of me.
1267
01:00:05,412 --> 01:00:06,613
I was so excited.
1268
01:00:06,713 --> 01:00:08,978
I didn't even notice
that Mona walked in.
1269
01:00:18,345 --> 01:00:21,078
You'd think a lover like Ted
would be enough for any girl.
1270
01:00:21,178 --> 01:00:23,045
But Mona still wasn't satisfied.
1271
01:00:28,614 --> 01:00:33,412
Ok, Danny boy, let's party.
1272
01:00:33,513 --> 01:00:34,513
Wow!
1273
01:00:37,079 --> 01:00:40,346
So they
taught me how to have an orgy.
1274
01:00:40,446 --> 01:00:42,913
That's the most ridiculous
thing I've ever heard.
1275
01:00:43,013 --> 01:00:45,379
I don't care what
you think, douche bag.
1276
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:48,146
It happened just that way.
1277
01:00:48,246 --> 01:00:51,647
We have been stuck
in here all day.
1278
01:00:51,747 --> 01:00:54,880
What if they can't find us?
1279
01:00:54,980 --> 01:00:56,322
What if they are not
even looking for us?
1280
01:00:56,346 --> 01:00:58,079
We've just got to
trust them, Annie.
1281
01:00:58,179 --> 01:01:00,213
They'll find us.
1282
01:01:00,313 --> 01:01:02,113
I think there's something
terribly wrong here.
1283
01:01:02,147 --> 01:01:03,880
Has he had an allergy attack?
1284
01:01:03,980 --> 01:01:05,714
Gee, Mr. Zitzler,
have you heard anything
1285
01:01:05,813 --> 01:01:08,047
about Danny and the others yet?
1286
01:01:08,147 --> 01:01:09,523
No, as a matter off
act, we have not.
1287
01:01:09,547 --> 01:01:12,146
Now, it's time for
your dip, dippy.
1288
01:01:12,246 --> 01:01:14,080
Danny and the others.
1289
01:01:14,180 --> 01:01:15,614
Danny and the others?
1290
01:01:15,714 --> 01:01:18,080
Danny and the others...
It's a rock group coming
1291
01:01:18,179 --> 01:01:19,379
into to entertain our campers.
1292
01:01:19,414 --> 01:01:20,114
Rock?
1293
01:01:20,214 --> 01:01:21,246
Rock?
1294
01:01:21,346 --> 01:01:22,724
Oh, you're interested
in rocks, Mrs. Anderson.
1295
01:01:22,748 --> 01:01:24,290
Why didn't you just tell
me in the first place?
1296
01:01:24,314 --> 01:01:26,056
I've got a rock collection
you'd love to see.
1297
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:30,614
Well, I guess it's time
for the moment of truth.
1298
01:01:30,714 --> 01:01:32,180
When is the first
time miss nature.
1299
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:35,748
Teacher got her pubes parted?
1300
01:01:35,848 --> 01:01:37,748
What is the matter with you?
1301
01:01:37,848 --> 01:01:39,114
You have a one-track mind.
1302
01:01:39,214 --> 01:01:40,515
Why don't you just grow up?
1303
01:01:40,615 --> 01:01:43,481
Oh, miss maturity, what makes
you better than everyone else?
1304
01:01:43,581 --> 01:01:45,915
We all told about the
first time we got laid.
1305
01:01:46,014 --> 01:01:47,981
What are you so afraid of?
1306
01:01:48,081 --> 01:01:50,115
All right, I'll tell you.
1307
01:01:53,549 --> 01:01:56,716
I am proud of my
relationship with Dwayne.
1308
01:01:56,815 --> 01:01:58,248
It was perfect.
1309
01:01:58,347 --> 01:02:02,348
He was everything
a girl could want.
1310
01:02:02,448 --> 01:02:04,448
What a hunk.
1311
01:02:04,548 --> 01:02:06,281
What a man.
1312
01:02:06,381 --> 01:02:08,782
Even as far back as
junior high school,
1313
01:02:08,882 --> 01:02:12,381
Dwayne and I innocently
explored the mysteries
1314
01:02:12,482 --> 01:02:14,348
of coming adulthood.
1315
01:02:14,448 --> 01:02:16,181
Oh, my, oh my, oh my, I think we
1316
01:02:16,281 --> 01:02:18,382
have a definite problem here.
1317
01:02:18,482 --> 01:02:20,057
Are you sure this was
your homework assignment?
1318
01:02:20,081 --> 01:02:20,782
Of course, I'm sure.
1319
01:02:20,882 --> 01:02:21,882
What do you think?
1320
01:02:21,948 --> 01:02:26,049
Oh, no, the nurse has a boo boo.
1321
01:02:26,148 --> 01:02:28,315
And you know what else, nurse?
1322
01:02:28,415 --> 01:02:30,416
The doctor has a boo boo too.
1323
01:02:30,517 --> 01:02:32,749
Where?
1324
01:02:32,849 --> 01:02:33,717
Here.
1325
01:02:33,817 --> 01:02:35,782
Kiss it and make
it better, please.
1326
01:02:35,882 --> 01:02:38,349
Ok, the nurse will now
kiss the doctor's boo boo.
1327
01:02:38,449 --> 01:02:40,192
The nurse that kisses his
boo boo to make it better
1328
01:02:40,216 --> 01:02:41,349
is going to cost $25.
1329
01:02:41,449 --> 01:02:45,149
Do you have blue
cross or blue shield.
1330
01:02:45,249 --> 01:02:46,516
Hi mom and dad!
1331
01:02:46,616 --> 01:02:48,483
Is everything all right, Dwayne?
1332
01:02:55,217 --> 01:02:57,249
Michelle farmer
mom and dad
1333
01:02:57,349 --> 01:02:59,850
were crazy about
dewayne and invited him
1334
01:02:59,950 --> 01:03:02,316
over once a week for dinner.
1335
01:03:02,416 --> 01:03:05,983
He and dad saw
eye-to-eye on everything.
1336
01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:08,950
Well, Dwayne, my boy, have you
registered for the draft yet?
1337
01:03:09,050 --> 01:03:10,651
No, have you?
1338
01:03:10,751 --> 01:03:13,217
Why son, years
ago I did my duty.
1339
01:03:13,317 --> 01:03:14,049
You did your duty?
1340
01:03:14,149 --> 01:03:17,416
Well, why don't you flush it?
1341
01:03:17,517 --> 01:03:18,518
Right, Michelle?
1342
01:03:18,618 --> 01:03:19,651
Right.
1343
01:03:19,751 --> 01:03:21,618
Besides, I don't
think they should
1344
01:03:21,718 --> 01:03:25,784
waste the cream of American
youth such as myself.
1345
01:03:25,884 --> 01:03:27,250
Right, Michelle?
1346
01:03:27,350 --> 01:03:28,651
Right.
1347
01:03:28,751 --> 01:03:30,951
Ah, very sensible.
1348
01:03:31,050 --> 01:03:34,250
Do you like meat, Dwayne?
1349
01:03:34,350 --> 01:03:37,484
I love meat, Mrs. Richards.
1350
01:03:37,584 --> 01:03:38,651
Right, Michelle?
1351
01:04:00,218 --> 01:04:03,751
Lucy, isn't it wonderful that
a fine, upstanding young man
1352
01:04:03,851 --> 01:04:05,652
like Dwayne has
taken an interest
1353
01:04:05,752 --> 01:04:07,184
in our little Michelle?
1354
01:04:07,284 --> 01:04:09,351
Oh, desi, we're so lucky.
1355
01:04:18,752 --> 01:04:21,052
A special
announcement, everybody.
1356
01:04:21,151 --> 01:04:24,519
Dwayne is taking me to the prom!
1357
01:04:24,619 --> 01:04:26,819
Darling.
1358
01:04:26,919 --> 01:04:28,218
That's marvellous.
1359
01:04:28,318 --> 01:04:30,119
I couldn't be happier.
1360
01:04:30,219 --> 01:04:31,785
Thank you, daddy.
1361
01:04:31,885 --> 01:04:34,685
Dwayne, you better take
care of my little girl.
1362
01:04:34,785 --> 01:04:37,785
Oh, I'll take care of
her, Mr. Richards, sir.
1363
01:04:37,885 --> 01:04:38,885
Right, Michelle?
1364
01:04:42,585 --> 01:04:43,828
Michelle farmer
it was
1365
01:04:43,852 --> 01:04:47,419
right then and there that
I felt the first stirrings
1366
01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:48,919
of youthful passion.
1367
01:04:49,019 --> 01:04:55,985
And I knew it wouldn't be long
before the earth moved for me.
1368
01:04:56,085 --> 01:04:59,720
I decided that dewayne
would be my first.
1369
01:04:59,820 --> 01:05:02,419
Then came the night
of the junior prom.
1370
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:05,986
Dwayne was so romantic.
1371
01:05:06,086 --> 01:05:07,720
Afterwards, he
took me to a disco.
1372
01:05:12,954 --> 01:05:15,854
See that was a
great prom, Dwayne.
1373
01:05:15,954 --> 01:05:19,252
Don't eat that.
1374
01:05:19,352 --> 01:05:23,721
Yeah, I'm sorry I threw up
in your punch though Michelle.
1375
01:05:23,820 --> 01:05:24,820
You did?
1376
01:05:30,754 --> 01:05:31,953
I get it.
1377
01:05:32,053 --> 01:05:33,320
You want to dance.
1378
01:06:03,354 --> 01:06:04,488
Danny!
1379
01:06:04,588 --> 01:06:05,930
Michelle farmer
just when
1380
01:06:05,954 --> 01:06:09,221
I thought Dwayne was about to
make the earth move for me,
1381
01:06:09,321 --> 01:06:10,321
she appeared.
1382
01:06:18,888 --> 01:06:20,722
I was crushed.
1383
01:06:20,822 --> 01:06:23,955
I couldn't imagine
what he saw in her.
1384
01:06:24,054 --> 01:06:24,755
Hey!
1385
01:06:24,855 --> 01:06:27,321
Hey!
1386
01:06:27,421 --> 01:06:28,122
Dwayne!
1387
01:06:28,222 --> 01:06:29,322
What about me?
1388
01:06:42,922 --> 01:06:44,098
Michelle farmer
I never
1389
01:06:44,122 --> 01:06:48,455
felt so lonely in all my life.
1390
01:06:48,556 --> 01:06:52,656
Then I saw him across
the crowded room.
1391
01:06:52,756 --> 01:06:55,155
And I knew there could
be life after Dwayne.
1392
01:07:07,288 --> 01:07:09,422
I felt like I was
floating on a cloud.
1393
01:07:17,757 --> 01:07:21,423
I knew in a flash that he
was twice the man dwyane was.
1394
01:07:27,789 --> 01:07:29,323
He grabbed me and kissed me.
1395
01:07:32,089 --> 01:07:35,356
I felt like a bow of
quivering jello in his arms.
1396
01:07:38,423 --> 01:07:41,757
He came close to me and
whispered something in my ears.
1397
01:07:41,857 --> 01:07:42,857
Let's go.
1398
01:07:48,958 --> 01:07:50,033
Michelle farmer
I guess
1399
01:07:50,057 --> 01:07:52,389
I must have misunderstood.
1400
01:07:52,490 --> 01:07:55,058
I thought he said balling.
1401
01:07:55,157 --> 01:08:00,457
What he really said
was, "let's go bowling."
1402
01:08:02,457 --> 01:08:03,457
So we went bowling.
1403
01:08:07,824 --> 01:08:10,724
He picked just the right spot.
1404
01:08:10,824 --> 01:08:15,758
Oh, it wasn't exactly
lover's Lane, but for $0.75,
1405
01:08:15,858 --> 01:08:18,558
shoes included,
what do you expect?
1406
01:08:18,658 --> 01:08:21,191
Well how do you
like the date so far?
1407
01:08:21,291 --> 01:08:23,100
Michelle farmer
:By the end of the evening,
1408
01:08:23,124 --> 01:08:26,725
I could see that the only
thing he had on his mind
1409
01:08:26,825 --> 01:08:28,692
was scoring up my alley.
1410
01:08:28,791 --> 01:08:34,859
The date was a strength
for him got a call for me.
1411
01:08:39,659 --> 01:08:42,258
Well, the earth
didn't move for me,
1412
01:08:42,358 --> 01:08:44,358
but I suppose it
could've been worse.
1413
01:08:44,458 --> 01:08:47,791
Yeah, you could have got
your twat twizzled by Dwayne.
1414
01:08:52,226 --> 01:08:55,626
Stinky, you're now a member
of our traditional circle jerk.
1415
01:08:55,726 --> 01:08:56,826
Congratulations.
1416
01:08:56,926 --> 01:08:59,226
You know, guys,
I'm really touched
1417
01:08:59,326 --> 01:09:01,392
you let me take part in this.
1418
01:09:01,493 --> 01:09:04,126
It's really the
climax of my summer.
1419
01:09:04,226 --> 01:09:05,892
Ah, that's ok, stink.
1420
01:09:05,992 --> 01:09:07,593
We feel you have
what it takes to take
1421
01:09:07,693 --> 01:09:10,259
part in our sacred event.
1422
01:09:10,359 --> 01:09:13,226
This is a very select group
you're entering, stinky.
1423
01:09:13,326 --> 01:09:14,026
You're a member of that.
1424
01:09:14,126 --> 01:09:16,627
And here are the rules.
1425
01:09:16,727 --> 01:09:20,226
All lights must be turned off.
1426
01:09:20,326 --> 01:09:23,527
The first person to
reach climatic finality
1427
01:09:23,627 --> 01:09:27,859
is the honorary chairman of
the eagles for next summer.
1428
01:09:27,959 --> 01:09:30,893
Stop joking and start stroking.
1429
01:09:37,060 --> 01:09:38,060
How you doing stinky?
1430
01:09:38,127 --> 01:09:39,493
I'm doing ok.
1431
01:09:49,993 --> 01:09:51,060
I'm first!
1432
01:09:51,160 --> 01:09:51,860
I'm first.
1433
01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:54,327
I'm champion.
1434
01:09:54,426 --> 01:09:55,693
It's so cute.
1435
01:09:55,793 --> 01:09:57,360
What wrist action.
1436
01:09:57,459 --> 01:10:01,460
I always knew you could
handle yourself in a crowd.
1437
01:10:13,494 --> 01:10:15,860
Look!
1438
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:17,861
The lantern is flickering.
1439
01:10:17,961 --> 01:10:20,328
There must be a breeze.
1440
01:10:20,427 --> 01:10:21,328
It's a passage.
1441
01:10:21,428 --> 01:10:24,294
They must have
begun to dig us out!
1442
01:10:24,394 --> 01:10:25,794
Yes!
1443
01:10:25,894 --> 01:10:27,294
We're in here!
1444
01:10:27,394 --> 01:10:32,695
Oh, I believe I was incorrect
in my original analysis.
1445
01:10:32,794 --> 01:10:33,862
- What?
- What?
1446
01:10:33,962 --> 01:10:34,661
What?
1447
01:10:34,761 --> 01:10:35,994
What?
1448
01:10:36,094 --> 01:10:40,228
Well, the fact that the
lantern is burning at a clearly
1449
01:10:40,328 --> 01:10:42,562
diminished level
indicates that there
1450
01:10:42,662 --> 01:10:44,695
is no longer sufficient
oxygen to support burning.
1451
01:10:44,795 --> 01:10:45,795
What?-what?
1452
01:10:45,862 --> 01:10:46,661
What?
1453
01:10:46,761 --> 01:10:47,595
I have a headache.
1454
01:10:47,695 --> 01:10:50,562
Yes, Annie, your
headache is clear
1455
01:10:50,662 --> 01:10:53,361
indication that the car
bondioxide level has reached
1456
01:10:53,461 --> 01:10:56,762
the point where breathing
becomes imperative
1457
01:10:56,862 --> 01:10:58,129
and asphyxiation sets in.
1458
01:10:58,229 --> 01:10:59,361
Asphyxiation?
1459
01:10:59,461 --> 01:11:00,501
You mean like suffocating?
1460
01:11:00,562 --> 01:11:01,905
You mean there's no
more oxygen to breath?
1461
01:11:01,929 --> 01:11:03,229
Calm down.
1462
01:11:03,329 --> 01:11:04,695
Calm down.
1463
01:11:04,795 --> 01:11:07,663
I'm sure that help
is on the way.
1464
01:11:07,762 --> 01:11:10,596
They are probably close
enough to hear us.
1465
01:11:10,696 --> 01:11:11,529
Help!
1466
01:11:11,629 --> 01:11:12,329
Help!
1467
01:11:12,429 --> 01:11:13,929
We're stuck in a cave.
1468
01:11:14,029 --> 01:11:15,029
Help!
1469
01:11:15,129 --> 01:11:16,129
Help!
1470
01:11:17,995 --> 01:11:19,806
I do not
go down on French poodles.
1471
01:11:19,830 --> 01:11:20,629
I am sure.
1472
01:11:20,729 --> 01:11:21,896
Oh, are we on?
1473
01:11:23,195 --> 01:11:26,730
Attention campers, meet
your parents like in front
1474
01:11:26,829 --> 01:11:28,496
of the grody mess hall, ok?
1475
01:11:34,463 --> 01:11:35,796
We drove all the way up here.
1476
01:11:35,896 --> 01:11:36,730
Hi!
1477
01:11:36,830 --> 01:11:38,663
Hi!
1478
01:11:38,763 --> 01:11:40,230
Mom, I won the circle jerk.
1479
01:11:40,330 --> 01:11:42,663
That's my boy, ho, ho, no!
1480
01:11:42,763 --> 01:11:44,130
Danny.
1481
01:11:44,230 --> 01:11:46,096
Where's my Danny?
1482
01:11:46,196 --> 01:11:46,963
Excuse me.
1483
01:11:47,063 --> 01:11:47,896
Have you seen my Danny?
1484
01:11:47,996 --> 01:11:50,096
Danny?
1485
01:11:50,196 --> 01:11:51,439
Attention parents,
1486
01:11:51,463 --> 01:11:54,730
go to the totally
tubular arts and crafts
1487
01:11:54,830 --> 01:11:57,363
show where like
children's exhibits
1488
01:11:57,463 --> 01:11:59,830
are on display, ha, whoa.
1489
01:11:59,930 --> 01:12:01,106
Now parents, look
at the subtlety
1490
01:12:01,130 --> 01:12:03,030
of these curving lines.
1491
01:12:03,130 --> 01:12:05,896
The smooth yet rugged
texture of the pieces
1492
01:12:05,996 --> 01:12:08,831
speaks eloquently of the
thrusting and parrying
1493
01:12:08,930 --> 01:12:11,731
techniques that your very
talented children have utilized
1494
01:12:11,831 --> 01:12:13,840
in order to put together these
beautiful, marvelous works
1495
01:12:13,864 --> 01:12:14,864
of art.
1496
01:12:19,864 --> 01:12:21,822
Oh, my god, it's
bigger than yours, Harold.
1497
01:12:28,831 --> 01:12:30,330
Oh, no, the lantern went out.
1498
01:12:30,430 --> 01:12:31,632
Michelle is right.
1499
01:12:31,731 --> 01:12:33,430
We're running out of air.
1500
01:12:36,165 --> 01:12:37,307
Everybody down on the ground.
1501
01:12:37,331 --> 01:12:39,597
There's more air on the ground.
1502
01:12:39,697 --> 01:12:41,097
Down.
1503
01:12:41,197 --> 01:12:43,865
This is ridiculous.
1504
01:12:43,965 --> 01:12:46,004
Michelle, will you just
get down and breathe please?
1505
01:12:46,064 --> 01:12:46,765
Why?
1506
01:12:46,865 --> 01:12:48,432
Just get down and breathe!
1507
01:12:48,533 --> 01:12:49,532
All right.
1508
01:12:52,264 --> 01:12:53,632
I can't breathe.
1509
01:12:53,732 --> 01:12:55,765
I can't help it.
1510
01:12:55,865 --> 01:12:56,732
I can't help it.
1511
01:12:56,832 --> 01:12:58,698
We got to get out of here.
1512
01:12:58,798 --> 01:13:00,165
This can't happen.
1513
01:13:00,265 --> 01:13:02,232
We just got to get out of here.
1514
01:13:02,332 --> 01:13:03,533
I can't deal with this.
1515
01:13:03,633 --> 01:13:06,165
We got to get out of here!
1516
01:13:06,265 --> 01:13:09,866
Oh, shit, I'm 17.
1517
01:13:09,966 --> 01:13:11,398
I'm going to die.
1518
01:13:11,499 --> 01:13:13,464
And I've never been laid.
1519
01:13:13,565 --> 01:13:14,565
What?
1520
01:13:16,198 --> 01:13:16,932
What?
1521
01:13:17,032 --> 01:13:19,066
What?
1522
01:13:19,166 --> 01:13:21,298
There was no hooker.
1523
01:13:21,398 --> 01:13:23,566
I made the whole thing up.
1524
01:13:23,666 --> 01:13:27,499
Shit, I don't even know
how to talk to a girl.
1525
01:13:27,599 --> 01:13:28,598
Me neither.
1526
01:13:28,633 --> 01:13:32,032
I mean, I've never
made it either.
1527
01:13:32,132 --> 01:13:33,933
There was no dream girl.
1528
01:13:34,033 --> 01:13:36,199
And there was no
man with a knife.
1529
01:13:36,299 --> 01:13:37,966
I made it up.
1530
01:13:38,066 --> 01:13:39,899
I'm going to die a virgin.
1531
01:13:39,999 --> 01:13:43,199
Well, I guess there was
no Barbara billington.
1532
01:13:43,299 --> 01:13:47,766
Well, I mean there really
was a Barbara billington.
1533
01:13:47,866 --> 01:13:49,933
But she was just a
waitress I had a crush
1534
01:13:50,033 --> 01:13:52,634
at the local dunkin' donuts.
1535
01:13:52,734 --> 01:13:54,734
I'm going to die a virgin.
1536
01:13:54,834 --> 01:13:57,099
Well, let's not
dwell on the past.
1537
01:13:57,199 --> 01:14:02,099
I mean, I've always believed
that if you live fully
1538
01:14:02,199 --> 01:14:05,133
in the moment and lived
by the laws of nature,
1539
01:14:05,233 --> 01:14:07,534
then if death comes to
take you before your time,
1540
01:14:07,634 --> 01:14:09,266
you'll be part of nature.
1541
01:14:09,366 --> 01:14:11,534
Oh, what the fuck are you
talking about, Michelle.
1542
01:14:11,634 --> 01:14:12,534
Goddammit!
1543
01:14:12,634 --> 01:14:14,667
You're always talking
this bullshit.
1544
01:14:14,767 --> 01:14:16,501
For once in your life, can't you just
1545
01:14:16,601 --> 01:14:19,400
talk like a normal human being?
1546
01:14:19,501 --> 01:14:20,834
Come on, Mitch.
1547
01:14:20,934 --> 01:14:24,600
Hey, you want to hear this
shit she's always dealing out?
1548
01:14:24,700 --> 01:14:26,200
Well, I dont' know, Mitch.
1549
01:14:26,300 --> 01:14:27,477
You got to think
about nature now.
1550
01:14:27,501 --> 01:14:30,367
I mean, it's one thing if
an eighty-year-old woman
1551
01:14:30,467 --> 01:14:33,400
gets killed by a bus.
1552
01:14:33,501 --> 01:14:35,700
It's another thing
if a kid dies before.
1553
01:14:39,200 --> 01:14:42,000
I just think that really sucks.
1554
01:14:42,100 --> 01:14:43,735
Fuck you, Henry.
1555
01:14:43,835 --> 01:14:45,234
You're just as bad as she is.
1556
01:14:45,334 --> 01:14:47,569
What is this
philosophy bullshit?
1557
01:14:47,668 --> 01:14:49,167
You all are just scared.
1558
01:14:49,267 --> 01:14:50,901
I'm not fucking scared.
1559
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:52,968
God damn it.
1560
01:14:53,068 --> 01:14:54,968
I'm going to die a virgin.
1561
01:14:55,068 --> 01:14:58,168
Why don't you just cut
out the tough guy routine.
1562
01:14:58,268 --> 01:14:59,769
You're just as scared as we are.
1563
01:14:59,869 --> 01:15:02,802
Oh, Michelle, you've always
had it in for me... always.
1564
01:15:02,902 --> 01:15:03,601
Yeah, come on.
1565
01:15:03,701 --> 01:15:04,868
Get it out now.
1566
01:15:04,968 --> 01:15:05,669
I always like you.
1567
01:15:05,769 --> 01:15:07,768
Bullshit!
1568
01:15:07,868 --> 01:15:11,101
I've always liked you.
1569
01:15:11,201 --> 01:15:13,001
I've always admired you.
1570
01:15:13,101 --> 01:15:15,635
You know the way the
little kids look up to you.
1571
01:15:15,735 --> 01:15:18,635
They see you as a role model.
1572
01:15:18,735 --> 01:15:20,536
I've always wished I
could be closer to you.
1573
01:15:36,737 --> 01:15:39,703
I think we should all be
spending these last few moments
1574
01:15:39,803 --> 01:15:41,570
being closest to the fighting.
1575
01:15:41,670 --> 01:15:43,468
I'm going to die a virgin.
1576
01:16:10,870 --> 01:16:12,813
We're are all part of nature's
1577
01:16:12,837 --> 01:16:14,503
constant state of flux.
1578
01:16:19,370 --> 01:16:21,437
If
I ever get out of here.
1579
01:16:21,538 --> 01:16:22,903
I'll never eat junk food again.
1580
01:16:26,237 --> 01:16:27,714
- I.
- Fever get out of here,
1581
01:16:27,738 --> 01:16:29,213
I'll change my subscription
from "penthouse"
1582
01:16:29,237 --> 01:16:30,838
to "national geographic."
1583
01:16:30,938 --> 01:16:33,671
I promise.
1584
01:16:33,771 --> 01:16:35,649
I don't
want to die a virgin.
1585
01:16:40,504 --> 01:16:42,179
This fucking cave sucks.
1586
01:19:49,576 --> 01:19:50,575
The earth is moving.
1587
01:19:55,242 --> 01:19:56,242
The earth is moving.
1588
01:20:07,709 --> 01:20:08,709
Oh, yeah!
1589
01:20:11,510 --> 01:20:14,409
Gee that was nice.
1590
01:20:31,544 --> 01:20:34,910
Mr. Zitzler, you're in such
a rush to sell this camp,
1591
01:20:35,010 --> 01:20:36,210
I got it think it over.
1592
01:20:36,310 --> 01:20:37,309
It's late.
1593
01:20:37,376 --> 01:20:39,443
I'll call you, Mr. Zitzler,
I'll call you.
1594
01:20:39,544 --> 01:20:42,744
Please, Mr. Costolo,
please, buy my camp.
1595
01:20:42,844 --> 01:20:45,444
You've got to buy my camp.
1596
01:20:45,545 --> 01:20:46,343
I've got to sell this camp.
1597
01:20:46,443 --> 01:20:49,243
That damned innocent kid.
1598
01:20:49,343 --> 01:20:51,110
I don't have any insurance.
1599
01:20:51,210 --> 01:20:51,910
What am I going to do?
1600
01:20:52,010 --> 01:20:53,010
I see you, Mr. Zitzler.
1601
01:20:56,377 --> 01:20:58,376
Where is my Danny?
1602
01:20:58,476 --> 01:21:02,144
I'm sick and tired of
all this double talk.
1603
01:21:02,244 --> 01:21:05,778
All the other parents
have found their children.
1604
01:21:05,878 --> 01:21:06,977
Where's my Danny?
1605
01:21:07,077 --> 01:21:09,611
Why, Mrs. Anderson, I
was just looking for you.
1606
01:21:09,711 --> 01:21:11,745
My Danny boy is lost.
1607
01:21:11,845 --> 01:21:12,578
He's gone.
1608
01:21:12,678 --> 01:21:13,778
I can't find him anywhere.
1609
01:21:13,877 --> 01:21:15,221
Mrs. Anderson, now, please
get a hold of yourself.
1610
01:21:15,245 --> 01:21:16,687
It becomes very
unsteady on this dock.
1611
01:21:16,711 --> 01:21:19,377
What kind of a dump is this?
1612
01:21:20,711 --> 01:21:24,278
What in the world is that?
1613
01:21:24,378 --> 01:21:28,978
Mr. Zitzler, I couldn't
find Danny's body
1614
01:21:29,078 --> 01:21:32,578
in this part of the lake.
1615
01:21:32,678 --> 01:21:33,378
Danny's body.
1616
01:21:33,478 --> 01:21:36,812
Danny's body?
1617
01:21:36,912 --> 01:21:38,278
Danny's body?
1618
01:21:39,846 --> 01:21:41,245
Danny's body!
1619
01:21:44,278 --> 01:21:47,878
Mrs. Anderson, don't move.
1620
01:21:47,978 --> 01:21:48,779
I'll get a lifeguard.
1621
01:21:48,879 --> 01:21:51,879
It'll take about 10 minutes.
1622
01:21:51,979 --> 01:21:55,911
These life guard
costs are killing me.
1623
01:21:56,011 --> 01:21:57,411
I'll do it myself.
1624
01:22:04,046 --> 01:22:05,045
This way.
1625
01:22:05,111 --> 01:22:06,111
Go this way.
1626
01:22:19,513 --> 01:22:23,646
Mr. Zitlzler, you saved my life.
1627
01:22:23,746 --> 01:22:26,047
Yeah, I do hope Danny
will be all right.
1628
01:22:26,147 --> 01:22:27,780
Oh, Danny is all right.
1629
01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:29,579
Danny is insured.
1630
01:22:29,679 --> 01:22:32,213
You have insurance?
1631
01:22:32,313 --> 01:22:33,312
Oh, Mrs. Anderson.
1632
01:22:42,412 --> 01:22:43,613
What happened?
1633
01:22:43,713 --> 01:22:45,580
I don't know.
1634
01:22:45,680 --> 01:22:47,947
Hey do you guys smell anything?
1635
01:22:48,046 --> 01:22:49,380
I think it's fresh air.
1636
01:22:49,480 --> 01:22:51,880
Look, I see daylight.
1637
01:22:51,980 --> 01:22:52,847
There's light coming in.
1638
01:22:52,947 --> 01:22:53,848
Oh, my god.
1639
01:22:53,948 --> 01:22:54,847
You're not kidding, light.
1640
01:22:54,947 --> 01:22:55,847
Get out of here.
1641
01:22:55,947 --> 01:22:57,213
All right.
1642
01:23:22,748 --> 01:23:24,614
What a fucking day.
1643
01:23:53,414 --> 01:23:54,649
I feel different.
1644
01:23:54,749 --> 01:23:58,481
Manny Anderson is no
wacting in pornographic films
1645
01:23:58,582 --> 01:24:00,882
under the name of dicky long.
1646
01:24:00,982 --> 01:24:03,249
He has delighted
millions of moviegoers
1647
01:24:03,349 --> 01:24:05,515
with his unique bulge.
1648
01:24:05,615 --> 01:24:08,282
Good, how you doing, huh?
1649
01:24:08,381 --> 01:24:10,149
Listen, listen,
don't call me stud.
1650
01:24:10,249 --> 01:24:11,249
Call me Mitch, ok.
1651
01:24:11,349 --> 01:24:12,959
Mitch became
a priest and opened
1652
01:24:12,983 --> 01:24:15,015
a parish in San Francisco.
1653
01:24:15,115 --> 01:24:19,615
He is now a spokesman for gay
rights for the celibate clergy.
1654
01:24:19,715 --> 01:24:21,482
Cheesedoodles.
1655
01:24:21,583 --> 01:24:23,650
Henry putz
works for the American.
1656
01:24:23,750 --> 01:24:29,249
Cheese manufacturers association
as commissioner of natural gas.
1657
01:24:29,349 --> 01:24:30,349
They are all yours, kid.
1658
01:24:33,083 --> 01:24:35,315
After eightun
successful marriages
1659
01:24:35,415 --> 01:24:38,382
and the cancellation of her
bloomingdales credit card,
1660
01:24:38,482 --> 01:24:41,349
Annie goldberg suffereda
nervous breakdown
1661
01:24:41,449 --> 01:24:43,083
and became a vegetable.
1662
01:24:43,183 --> 01:24:45,783
She is now living
quietly in Columbus, Ohio
1663
01:24:45,883 --> 01:24:48,450
as a Brussels sprout.
1664
01:24:48,550 --> 01:24:51,183
Michelle farmer pursued
her interest in nature
1665
01:24:51,283 --> 01:24:53,382
and now heads up the
government's program
1666
01:24:53,482 --> 01:24:55,617
for wildlife preservation.
1667
01:24:55,717 --> 01:24:57,116
And fly.
1668
01:24:57,216 --> 01:24:58,617
Fly away!
1669
01:24:58,717 --> 01:25:00,584
Fly away little fish.
1670
01:25:00,684 --> 01:25:01,684
Weee!
114450
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