Original subtitles

Blue sky?

Beautiful flowers?

Birds singing?

What a nightmare!

You wonder what the hell you've done to deserve it.

And then, you remember.

No!

lSJ, the property developer l work for...

give me 1 00 grand a year, a pension plan, health care...

and a nice little motor, just to make sure l don't complain...

when l have a bloody awful job to do on a Monday morning.

Call me the official trouble shooter.

So, when something goes wrong on one of our building sites...

like someone falling off an unsafe roof, l'm there...

to be fair and dispassionate in such a way that the truth...

never comes out.

l've buzzed already.

Nice car. They're paying you lawyers too much.

lt's not mine. lt belongs to a friend.

Well, for your friend's sake, l hope you left the alarm on.

l've got an inquest about a gypsy.

l'm surprised his family haven't pitched wigwams on the forecourt.

You know, it doesn't do to cross real Romanies.

ls that right?

l knew someone who threw some gypsies off his land once.

Really?

This old gypsy woman stared him in the eye and said...

''Beware the beast with cloven hooves.''

Two days later, he choked on a chicken bone.

Can l just point out that chickens don't have hooves.

But the restaurant was called the Pig and Whistle. Pigs have hooves.

Foul play has been ruled out?

Yes, it has. lf you read page 2 of the report...

you will see that...

You will see...

Mr. Wells fell whilst under the influence of alcohol.

The blood samples taken indicate...

there were 90 mg of alcohol in his blood when he fell.

90 mg?

That's only the equivalent of about two glasses of wine.

Nevertheless, enough to impair judgement.

This accident did take place at 8 o'clock in the morning.

The implication being he was a habitual drinker.

Forgive me, are you representing the deceased?

No, l was his wife.

We used to share a wigwam.

According to this, you have a witness who actually saw...

Mr. Wells fall to his death. ls that right?

Yes, exactly.

Mr. Callaghan.

Mr. Callaghan, you made a statement to the police that you saw...

Mr. Wells fall from the roof of the building in Clerkenwell.

Please tell this court what you witnessed.

Mr. Callaghan...

do you have something to tell this court, or not?

An open verdict?

-The widow's a gypsy, she won't sue. -ls that a fact?

l doubt she can read, let alone understand the law.

lf it came out that a winch snapped...

we could be looking at 20 grand in damages.

lf she sues, could be half a million.

We can't afford to take chances.

We need her to waive any legal right to redress.

l suggest in exchange for her signature, we pay her.

Leon, policy decisions are down to me.

-How much? -She won't be cheap.

We needn't throw money around.

-Give me 50 grand. -John...

-as Leon's senior, l'm not happy. -What l don't give to her, l keep.

Call it an incentive bonus.

Ok.

Marjorie, get me Michael in Legal affairs, there's an angel.

Angel.

This season is called Spring because things spring up...

like grass for example.

lt springs up and you have to mow it...

unless you live in flats where the council do it for you.

After Spring, is Summer, where the buds turn into leaves...

and lift their faces to the sky.

-There are bees... -There are bees and butterflies...

and people have barbecues in their garden.

But then, Summer is over and the first cold winds begin to blow.

That is how the four cycles of nature begin all over again.

The end.

Then the prince came back for a third time...

and this time he called to the princess in a soft voice...

''Rapunzel, Rapunzel, throw down your hair.''

And the princess looked down from her tower and said...

''Come up here, big boy and give me a good rogering.''

What's a rogering?

Please, Tania, sleep.

No. l still haven't forgiven you for being late.

l haven't forgiven you for pretending l wasn't your father.

l could've been arrested.

-Seriously Tania, go to sleep. -l don't like the dark.

All right, l'll stay until you drop off.

-Count sheep, or something. -l can't. l'm a vegetarian.

Fine, count cucumbers then. Since when are you a vegetarian?

l decided to be a vegetarian like Mummy was.

-She ate fish. -So will l.

-And meat. -She said she didn't.

-Well, she cheated, lots of times. -When?

-When you weren't there. -She never did.

-Yes, she did. -When?

ln Greece once, Skiathos.

-l don't remember. -You were only a baby.

-They had a barbecue at the hotel. -Tell me.

Well, they were roasting a lamb, and the smell of it...

she couldn't resist it. l caught her taking a big lump of meat...

into the ladies loo.

So there you are, she cheated.

Are you sure you want to be a vegetarian?

No, l just want Mummy back.

Yes.

l know.

Wait a minute, hang on. Wait for me.

-Who the hell are you? -Thomas Price. Jimmy's nephew.

l've never seen you. You must be from Natty's side of the family.

Sorry, did you just attach a horse to my car?

You better get going, or we'll lose them.

Right.

Nice car. l bet she goes fast.

Not with a horse attached.

-Can l have a go? -How old are you?

What's that got to do with it?

How come nobody here knows who the fuck you are, my friend?

lt's Ok, Manni.

He's a friend of Jimmy's from the building company.

Thank you very much for coming. Now, perhaps you should go home.

Wait for me!

For fuck's sake!

-What happened to your horse? -l sold him.

Heard what Natalie said. So, you're a Gorgio.

-What's a Gorgio? -Not a Rom.

-Then yes, l'm a Gorgio. -l'm a didicoi, half Romany.

How much do you want for this car?

lt's not for sale.

Your windscreen wiper's loose. lt's been bent back.

Do you know where Mrs. Wells has gone?

Why? What's she to you?

l'm prepared to pay if you tell me where she's going.

She's going to a place where Gorgio ain't invited...

-or even didicoi. -l'm pretty good at gatecrashing.

How much?

-£1 00. -A grand.

-Don't be insane. -Suit yourself.

Ever tried finding a gypsy? lt's like nailing smoke to water.

-500. -750.

650.

-Ok, so where? -A place called Mich Na Glog...

in the Black Mountains, Wales.

-l'm sure l'll find it. -l'm heading that way myself.

What are you doing?

-For 650, you get a chauffeur. -ln your dreams.

Be a good girl for grandma. l'll tell her to leave your light on.

-l'll be back before you wake up. -ln your dreams.

Bye, darling.

-No. -Ok.

lf not on the road, when we get off.

No. No, absolutely not.

Stop the fucking car!

See, Leon. When there's no road you've got to make your own.

-What are you doing? -Following the patrin.

-The what? -Signs we leave for each other. Stop!

lt means straight ahead is the beng. The devil. lt means keep out.

Drive on, then.

-All right, Tonto, l've had enough. -Who the fuck's Tonto?

You, Tonto. Me, gullible white man being taken for a ride.

There, look.

Bloody hell, what's that?

-What? -kalderash funeral.

After they bury the body, they burn the possessions.

That's Jimmy Wells' car they're burning.

For Christ's sake don't let them see you.

Seriously weird.

200 years ago, they'd have put his wife in the driver's seat.

Leon!

Hello?

Hello, Tania. Yes, this is Daddy.

l'm sure you are being a good girl.

Get the fuck out of here, now!

This isn't a very good time. l'll call you back.

Oh, my God, my car.

Oh, for fuck's sake!

Good morning!

l'm glad l caught you.

l thought you'd disappeared with the rest of your charming family.

-They're not my family. -Yes.

Do you know what they've done with my car?

They're very wild, they'll probably make it into a hen-house.

You had no business being here last night.

Mrs. Wells, l've come here to give you some money.

-Come on, Bessie. -Tax free.

A compassionate payment for what happened to your husband.

-Compassion? -Yes, a compassionate payment.

Mrs. Wells...

Will you stop doing that?

Mummy says l've got to practice.

That's what this holiday is for, to learn the old ways.

Wait.

Do you know where she's going?

-To get sexual intercourse. -What?

She says it's perfectly natural, but l'm too young to watch.

l'm going to watch anyway.

l told you to wait down by the wagon.

-l want to see. -Go back and stay hidden.

Go on.

l'm sorry, l didn't mean to scare her.

She's quite a shot with that catapult.

lt'd be a shame if the traditional skills died out.

There he is, Bessie. lsn't he a prize?

-l know this is a bad time... -So go away.

-l understand how you feel... -You understand?

As a matter of fact, l do.

The offer of payment is genuine.

All you have to do is sign these papers.

l need you to keep quiet or he won't follow us in.

Sorry, who won't follow who in where?

That is a stallion, my Bessie is a mare.

-Use your imagination. -He'll do it right now?

lf you close your mouth maybe.

Look, this is obviously a bad moment. Could we reschedule this meeting?

No. Stay where you are. lf you go, he'll bolt.

Come on.

Ok, you'll have to stay close.

Come on, come on girl.

He's a thoroughbred and she pulls a cart, but that won't stop him.

Make yourself useful, hold this.

Sorry, l do property development l don't pimp for racehorses.

-Oh, my God, he's actually doing it. -No, he's missing.

Mr. Hawley, you'll have to shove it in for him.

l'm not putting my hand in there.

Would you just look and see what's going on?

-Dear God, it's enormous. -You have to grab it.

-No way! -Grab his dick, and push it in.

-Don't be absurd. -All you have to do is guide it home.

lf you do that, you have my word, l'll sign your papers.

Mrs. Wells, he's shagging my arm.

Do you think you could get your horse to fake an orgasm?

-Quickly. -lt'll only take a few seconds.

My hand.

Oh, my God, my suit.

Bessie, darling, you're going to be a mother.

lt'll come off with a bit of Daz.

Daz? You do not clean bespoke suits with Daz.

Look at it.

-Shit! -What?

l didn't ask permission before l borrowed his stallion.

lt's Ok, he's not going to shoot at us.

He's firing in the air.

Fuck me!

l've been shot! l've really been shot!

Grab her and get on the horse.

l told you to stay down here, didn't l?

Jesus, he shot me.

He actually really shot me.

-lt's only bird shot. -Only bird shot?

l'm pumping blood.

lt's a little scratch.

lt's deceptive, it might be small, but it's very deep.

Suck it.

Suck it? Do you have any idea where this arm has been?

-Ok. lt's going to have to come out. -Ok.

Jesus, l'll suck it.

What are you doing?

Evidence. l'm going to sue his arse.

-There, Mummy, l did hit him. -Will you get off me?

Jesus, l'm nothing but target practice.

Find some dock leaves for his terrible wound.

l do not need fucking dock leaves. Excuse my language, l'm sorry...

l refuse to be treated by a 7 year old with vegetation. l've been shot.

-l'm 8, actually. -Well, that's all right then.

Go on.

Ok.

-Where are you papers? -What papers?

-You said you needed me to sign. -We haven't discussed money yet.

How much are you offering?

-l'm authorised to offer you £5000. -£5000?

Do you think l landed with the last shower of rain?

-Make it £1 00 000. -1 00?

So it's a deal then?

ln exceptional circumstances, if l made a case on your behalf...

l could maybe stretch it to twenty.

-90. -Don't be ridiculous.

lt's a long way to come to go home empty handed.

-Thirty. -Seventy.

-This is absurd. -This is business.

You offered 5, l think you can pay 1 0 times that. You look like that sort.

-You're an expert? -l'm a Romany.

And l'm a property developer.

l'll settle at 50, take it or leave it.

45 it is?

l don't really want your money.

l'm sorry?

l was just practising.

Give me your papers, l'll sign free of charge.

l don't understand.

lf l'd wanted money, l'd have filed a law suit.

l decided l don't want a dead man's money. Call it superstition.

-Are you serious? -Am l laughing?

Right, well then, fine.

What can l say?

lt's been a pleasure doing business with you.

lt's Ok, Sarah, he doesn't believe in vegetation.

Come on, start getting cleared up.

Got a pen?

Yes.

Just so we're clear...

You realise if you sign, you waive all right to legal redress?

-No, but just so... -Yes, crystal clear.

Some superstition.

l'm a gypsy. What do you expect?

l can't believe you got me up to 45 grand.

-Fifty. -We would've settled on 47.5.

When l draw a line, it stays drawn.

Right, l'll get off then.

Do you know the number of a local cab company?

Come on, girl.

Are we anywhere near a train station?

l'm extremely bad in wilderness conditions and may even die.

l did save your daughter's life.

So, road is ''drom'', horse, is ''grai''...

and man is ''mush''.

Mrs Wells, is there a Romany word for ''go faster''?

-You're the one who wanted a lift. -l had visions of a steady canter.

You should understand, not only is this vehicle one horsepower...

the horse is pregnant.

Don't you think this beautiful countryside?

And at this speed you see it in such detail.

Come on. Come on.

Have we stopped? lt's hard to tell.

-You need to get out and push. -What?

We're on a hill. The men get out and push, that's how it's done.

So the deal has changed.

She's not giving me a lift l'm giving her a push.

lt's only the women and little boys who stay on board.

Fine.

Don't push the horse, push the wagon.

Yes. l knew that.

l'm just giving her some encouragement.

Come on.

That's it, keep pushing.

Come on, Bessie. keep pushing, that's it.

We're at the top of the hill. l've put the brake on.

Right.

-Are we there? -No, l'm afraid we're still nowhere.

-Are we making camp, Mummy? -Yes, there's a good spot down there.

lf you go down this road for about a mile...

you'll pick up a B-road. You should get a lift there.

Right, so...

roughly, how far back to the 21 st Century?

30 miles, maybe less.

Ok.

-Well, good-bye again. -Good-bye.

-Come on Bessie. -You know, it's really strange.

This would've been a dream holiday for my daughter.

-She likes horses? -Yes.

Every Christmas and birthday, that's all she wants.

-Buy her one. -She's far too young.

-Best time to learn. -But there's a wise old saying...

never invest in anything that eats while you sleep.

-lnvest? -lt'd take up too much time.

Hers or yours?

Can't your wife help you?

No.

Anyway, so long, farewell, auf wiedersein.

Bon voyage.

Good luck with the birth, l'd go for...

herbal pillows and whale music.

lt's been a pleasure.

Natalie.

Yes.

So, Sly Todd the fox went down into the land of the River Spirit.

And the River Spirit said to the poor fox...

''Step into my watery parlour and l will teach you...

how to dance the dance of the ghosts''

-Why have you stopped? -You're too scared.

-l like being scared. -No, no.

Out here it's too easy to let your imagination carry you away.

ls that why Dad never let us do this?

No, that was because...

Dad was interested in your future, he said this was all in the past.

Like speaking Romany?

He didn't want people knowing we were different...

sometimes people don't like us.

They think we're the spooky things in the dark.

Who's there?

lt's the River Spirit.

Will you take that weapon off her?

lt's your own fault for creeping up on us.

l'd hardly call that creeping.

God, l hate the country.

l'm sorry, l imagine you thought you'd got rid of me.

We were hoping.

l waited four hours. Two bloody tractors in four hours.

The second one stopped but only to call me an English bastard.

l tried phoning a taxi, but my phone's completely dead.

l saw the light of your fire...

and thought you might be a farm or wine bar or something.

Anyway, now l'm here...

can l just have a blanket for the night?

Sarah, go and fetch an extra plate.

l hope you like sausages.

l would've carried on, but the road sort of ran out.

-You've had a bad day. -Yes.

Full of surprises yet strangely satisfying.

l imagine your horse might say the same thing.

You are silly.

Thank you.

Can we eat in the old way?

Having heard what Leon has to say l think we should.

What's the old way?

lt was considered impolite amongst Romanies to talk while eating.

Jeez, dinner parties must've been a hoot.

-From now, Mummy. -Ok, from now.

What, not even if...?

She's asleep.

What's that constellation that looks like a BMW coupé?

ls that the Plough, or Orion?

l don't know.

When you live under a roof you don't see any of this.

Yes, well, the stars won't be out for long, there's a storm coming.

Really?

How can you tell?

l heard the weather forecast.

Come on, we should get inside.

This isn't what l was expecting.

What do you mean?

l didn't think people still lived like this.

We don't. Not anymore. But l wanted Sarah to see how it used to be.

So what happens when the holiday is over?

That stallion today was a sort of injection of venture capital.

Venture capital? Jesus, you are a business woman.

Manni Conner's got land, l can use his pasture, build stables...

and l'm going to start a stud farm.

So, you and Manni...

-He's the big guy? -Big man, big heart.

l don't suppose his big-heartedness might extend to returning my car.

l'll talk to him. l'll tell him that underneath that expensive suit...

you're kushti.

-kushti? -lt means you're Ok.

You must be tired. These will keep you warm for a few hours.

-So how's Sarah taking it all? -All what?

Not having a father.

With Tania, it's the darkness.

She's hated the dark ever since.

Since what?

A year ago, my wife's car went off the road.

Sorry.

lt's quite a coincidence.

l'll get you a blanket.

lt's weird, isn't it?

Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger...

especially one who knows how it feels.

-knows how what feels? -You must feel something.

Our marriage wasn't like that, not anymore.

Why do you think he was drunk at 8 am?

lf you get cold put another log on the fire.

What the hell was that?

-A fox. -Foxes don't sound like that.

They do when they're mating.

Do you think they need me to give them a hand?

-What did you catch? -Puffball.

-God, that's a snake isn't it? -No, it's a mushroom.

Mummy, look.

What the hell do they want?

Sarah, get what you need from the wagon. Nash!

What are you doing?

-We've done nothing. -They'll think of something.

lt's not illegal to re-enact a scene from Rawhide.

Morning, campers. Sleep well?

Morning, officer.

-Are these the people you saw? -Yes.

Bloody travellers.

Owen saw you interfering with his stallion yesterday.

Oh, l see, so it was you who shot me?

lnterfering with livestock is an offence.

As is vagrancy and trespass.

Tell this fucking inbred sheep molester to get his hands off me...

and l'll tell you what happened from the beginning.

-Bloody gypo. -keep your mouth shut, Leon.

-Fancy underwear though. -Better check the lady over.

So he swivelled round and l saw him out of the corner of my eye...

and l'm like a panther...

and l'm on him, whack! And he goes down...

and l'm just standing over him like a...

Panda. Sorry, panther.

What?

Look, if you'd just kept your head. We get worse than that every day.

-l admit l feel partly to blame. -Partly?

Don't worry.

Every policeman in the county will be looking for us.

Get down. Come here.

Right, all we have to do is lay low until the fuss dies down.

Lay low where? Two adults, one child and a pregnant horse?

Apart from that, l now have no clean clothes and no vardo.

This was supposed to be a holiday!

Are you mad? We can't do this, we don't have any money.

Look, when you're rich, you don't need money...

you just need presence.

Have you looked in a mirror lately?

-Can you do something with your hair? -l don't have a brush.

l don't want you to brush it, just mess it up.

And you, be precocious.

What does that mean?

lf it's water you want, there's a standpipe at the end of the drive.

lt's Ok, l don't want any fuss.

Hi.

My wife and l and little Neptune Ayia Napa need a room.

Actually, the best suite you've got. l'm talking big.

Great. All l ask is that you're quick, discreet, and no press.

Absolute privacy.

Do l make myself clear?

Press?

You do know who l am?

You know about these things, do you recognise him?

That's definitely a bespoke suit.

He said, ''Mick and Jerry recommended us''.

-Good God, it's The Edge. -The what?

The guitarist from U2, my God.

No, it's not. lt's the bloke out of Radiohead.

-So, Mr... -Smith.

Yes, of course. Mr. Smith, how nice.

-Now, a large suite, wasn't it? -That's right.

Also, we need somewhere for the horse.

The horse? ls that like the Edge?

No, it's like an animal with four legs.

Just put it in a garage with some oats.

-And water. -Still...

not sparkling.

lt's your lucky day, l never do autographs.

Thank you...

sir.

So, what do we think of the view?

ls that Ok?

Do we like the fountain, or shall we move it to the left?

-We can't stay here. -Course we can.

We just hide out here tonight...

and tomorrow, l'll get the company to send some money.

Overnight? Where will we sleep?

lt's a suite.

As in, how sweet, separate beds.

lt looks like...

''Bngdbu''.

l'll have it framed anyway.

-Should l take out their TV? -Why?

They'll probably throw it out of the window.

-You're so old fashioned. -Rock stars don't do that anymore.

No, they drink herbal tea and have tantric sex.

Tantric sex? Does that damage the furniture at all?

This...

is the minibar. This is a very special place.

lt's like a time machine that will take you to a future...

where a packet of chocolate covered peanuts will cost you £1 2.50.

So, very important...

do not open.

We do know what a hotel is.

Then you'll know that in this hotel they'll almost definitely...

have a dress code.

Absolutely no trouble at all, sir.

Right.

Yes.

l have that, yes.

lndeed.

Cheryl, you're going shopping.

Right.

No, Tania, no.

l can't do another story, l'm on a hotel phone.

Be good for Grandma, will you?

No, l can't.

Because it would be cheaper to fly you here by helicopter.

Good night, Tania.

Yes, tomorrow for definite. l promise...

l love you too.

lt's so good of them, they gave me this so l could hear her breathing.

Are you sure l look all right?

Yeah, not bad.

The clerk asked which instrument you play.

-What did you say? -The drums.

Drums? l am clearly lead guitar and vocals.

-Are you Ok? -Why?

Some of this is in French.

What?

My mother lived in Turkey...

my father lived in Hungary, Spain and France before he came here.

Hence the Scottish accent.

l'm a Romany. l'm from everywhere. But l went to school in Scotland.

-School? -Yes, school. l enjoyed it.

lt was one of the happiest days of my life.

-So what are you going for? -Egg and chips.

Have you chosen or would you like to hear Chef Bourdin's specials?

Specials.

The chef recommends a magnificent chateaubriand...

with green pepper sauce, or the foie de veau persille.

Don't you have any hedgehog?

-Pardon? -lt's the latest thing in California.

Very low in fat. Just don't cross the road once you've had one.

l'm sorry.

Chef Bourdin doesn't serve Californian cuisine.

Perhaps madame would like a little more time.

No, l'll have the fish soup...

and poached rabbit.

l was brought up on poached rabbits.

l'll try the beet salad...

followed by the pheasant, if you have it.

You're aware the pheasant is wild so will contain lead shot?

That's Ok. So do l.

-Did you get an autograph? -No, l didn't get a bloody autograph.

l don't know what's up with everyone. His wife is drugged out of her mind.

-Hello? -Hello.

-Who are you? -Tania.

Hello, Tania. My name's Sarah.

-ls my daddy there? -Who's your daddy?

-Leon. -No, he's downstairs with my mummy.

-What's he doing? -l don't know. Eating, l suppose.

-Can you go and get him? -No, l can't go down...

you have to wear special clothes just to get into the restaurant.

lt's very silly here.

Would you care for a digestif?

We're celebrating, we'll have champagne.

-Certainly, sir. -l just heard...

we made number one in Finland.

What?

-You are so hokano baro. -Am l?

lt means good at spinning tales. There isn't a word for it in English.

There are lots of words in English you don't have, like income tax.

lt's bad enough the police turn us over every five minutes...

without us helping to pay their wages.

All right, l'm converted.

l made my contribution to your campaign fund. Big silver Mercedes?

-l'll get it back for you. -From Manni?

-The guy you're going to... -Going to what?

Nothing.

-l hope they feed Bessie. -lt's not my business.

-She gets hungry about this time. -As you say, he's got a big heart.

Big fists...

big cows, big land, big grazing...

big everything.

Still, size doesn't really matter, does it?

What are you talking about?

Nothing.

Not a thing.

l was just thinking, l don't know...

maybe we could see each other again.

-l should go and see Sarah. -Natalie, what do you say?

Next time, we'll have dinner first, then assault some police officers.

Let me see.

-See what? -My mama taught me.

There...

your heart line. lt's broken.

-My heart isn't broken. -No?

-No. -How can it not be broken?

The same way yours isn't broken.

l should go.

Wait.

When my wife's car went off the road...

do you know what l felt?

Freedom.

Can you believe l felt that?

Yes, l can.

Really?

Only l didn't realise freedom came at such a price.

lt's as if by wanting it l made it happen.

-We shouldn't blame ourselves. -Shouldn't we?

You think Jimmy died because he was drunk?

A winch snapped, Ok?

A piece of rusty machinery we didn't replace...

because it would've added £50 to the overall construction costs.

l was sent out here to get your signature...

and keep as much of 50 grand as l could.

Why are you telling me this?

l really don't know.

Mummy, what's Bacardi?

-Wait, l'll come with you. -No, please...

just wait till we're both asleep.

You know, Bessie...

champagne's not a drink for drinking alone.

Do you want some? Ok.

No, no, hang on.

lt's very bad in the first 6 weeks of pregnancy.

She really loves you, Bessie.

Shit.

What the hell were you doing?

l just got nostalgic for the crackle of an open fire.

Wait.

l might have burn injuries.

l might need dock leaves.

-Leon, this is... -Ridiculous, l know.

lt's Ok...

l talked it through with a lady l met downstairs.

She said exactly the same thing happened to her yesterday.

A whirlwind romance, she never even met the guy...

and before she knew it, they were making love in a barn.

l left her when she urinated on my shoe.

We're not horses.

True, in certain departments...

l have to admit, l'm no match for a horse...

but when did a horse last nibble your ear?

Quite recently actually.

A horse is one thing, a Gorgio is something else.

A Gorgio who doesn't even know one end of a horse from the other.

What was it you said?

He's a thoroughbred and she pulls a cart but that won't stop them.

You're a racehorse and l'm a carthorse?

l'm just talking about breaking down barriers.

You realise that this is a very pretty dress...

but it's still me underneath?

-Do you mind if l check? -l'm serious, Leon.

3 days ago you were talking about wigwams.

-l've changed. -ln 3 days?

No.

lt took about 3 seconds.

When l saw you coming downstairs tonight.

l see.

-So it was the dress that did it? -Maybe...

but you know...

there's really only one way to tell.

We take off the dress...

and see if l still love you.

No...

it's not the dress.

Wait a minute.

lf we're going to eliminate my clothing from this investigation...

Mummy...

l keep seeing that horse's thingy.

Just a moment, sweetheart.

Natalie.

Natalie.

Do you want breakfast in the room or the restaurant?

What do you mean? Gone where?

Someone came with a horsebox.

-Who? -A rather large gentleman.

How large?

Huge, actually. l think his car is still outside.

Did she leave a message?

No, l'm afraid not. ls everything all right?

-Go on, ask him who he really is. -Not now.

Dear Leon...

l needed some time to myself with Sarah.

Maybe it's better if we both think this over a little first.

Everything happened so fast.

l'm going to be at Manni's scrapyard for a while, you know where that is.

lf you still feel the same way, you should call me there.

l'll count the days...

and if l don't hear, l'll know you've come to your senses.

All my love, Natalie.

Granny, it's Daddy.

Hey...

Right, go and get your things, we're going out.

Yes!

So, how did it go?

You did it! You bloody did it!

You're a genius. l told him you could.

How much did she want?

lt seems congratulations are in order.

-He did it. -How much?

Gary, why don't you chase my coffee?

So, you've excelled once again. How much did you get away with?

-She didn't want the money. -What, none of it?

-lt's not what you think. -Of course not.

Did she actually know what she was signing?

You're just what this company needs.

A man who doesn't give a shit about anyone.

For a moment, l thought what happened with Elizabeth might've changed you.

My mistake. Who needs feelings, right?

Hello.

Hi, Thomas.

No, he's not here. He'll be back about ten.

Then he's driving me and Sarah down to Wales.

l don't need luck, Thomas. l fall on my feet.

Yes, l will.

Bye, bye.

Morning, Leon.

Devine is hitting the roof about your report into safety at Clerkenwell.

Better he hits the roof than someone else hits the ground.

And l got some stuff back from the Bloodstock society.

What did they say?

They did have a Natalie Wells registered as a breeder...

but she's changed her name to Conner.

Do you still want me to get the number?

No.

No, that's Ok.

We've got more important things to do.

lt's been a long process...

but what a wonderfully conceived and constructed building.

And, l have to say...

it's also remarkable for being on budget and on time.

And that's why the champagne is on lSJ.

Not in the mood for schmoozing?

Didn't Jimmy Wells hit the ground about there?

Just where they put in those rather pretty flower beds.

You know, l almost feel sorry for you.

All pity gratefully received.

You think it's such a lark, to rip off some poor gypsy woman.

Guys, happy faces, there are clients present.

l was about to suggest Leon might spend...

some of his money on a plaque for Jimmy Wells.

Funnily, according to accounts he never cashed the cheque.

Can l have the day off school?

Happy birthday. No you can't.

-Are you going to open your presents? -l already have.

Well, are you happy?

Tania, please, don't spoil the day.

l've told you, you can't have a horse till you learn how to ride, groom...

and the other thingies, muck in, or muck out...

How can l learn without a horse? lt's not fair.

Sarah's got a horse and she's two months younger than me.

-Your friends have older sisters. -Sarah hasn't got an older sister.

-Help out with Sarah's horse then. -How can l?

She lives in some place miles away. l can't even say it.

How do you know her then?

l've never heard you talk about her.

Tania, Sarah who?

Tania. You've got that look on your face again...

like when you put wheels on the tortoise.

Sarah Wells. Except she's not called Wells anymore, she's called Conner.

-How do you know her? -l speak to her on the phone.

She's called Conner now.

Her mummy changed her name because her dad's dead.

lf you're a gypsy, you don't use a dead man's name.

Run that past me again.

ls it this one here? The long one?

Eight pounds for one call?

l love you.

-How did you get her number? -l phoned your mobile from Grandma's.

Sarah answered. l didn't tell you, l thought you might get angry.

l gave her my number and we phone each other to talk about horses.

Tania...

has Sarah mentioned having a new daddy?

Sort of... built like a wardrobe.

She hasn't got a new daddy. lt's just her and her mum.

They've got a baby foal, they called him Leon, after you.

Daddy, are you happy or sad?

-What are you doing? -l'm phoning Sarah's mummy...

to tell her she can't use my name willy-nilly.

Who ever heard of a horse called Leon?

She won't be there. They've gone to the Stowe fair.

The what?

-Are you sure she said today? -l don't know.

lt might've been yesterday.

Can you can help me? l'm looking for a gypsy horse fair.

You just missed them. They're all back on their reservations.

You might get a few stragglers down Digbeth lane...

that's why l'm still here.

lf you're going down in that car, make sure you put your alarm on.

-Have they gone, Dad? -Yes, they've gone.

Let's go home.

-Thomas. -What's happening?

l'll introduce you to someone. lgnore everything he says and does.

-Holy shite, it's you! -l need to find Natalie.

-Have you got a death wish? -No, l have a life wish.

She may be at the auction.

No Gorgio. They'll set fire to your face and put it out with a shovel.

Please, just tell me where it is.

l'll tell you what...

l'll pay you anything you want.

Put that away.

lt's up there, by the brook.

Thank you. Come on.

lf you're going, you better come with me. l'll show you a real motor.

What am l bid for this two month foal called...

Leon.

We have the lady's word he was sired by a gold cup winning stallion.

We start the bids at £500.

-500. -Over there.

-550. -550, do we hear 600?

You like driving with Thomas?

Better than boring Daddy. He only drives on the roads.

This must never turn up in a school essay.

-900, do l hear 950? -Thousand.

£1 000, £1 000.

lt's just behind those trees. Go on, l'll stay with the girl.

Right, thanks.

Thirteen.

£1 300, £1 300 over there. Any advance?

-Fourteen. -£1 400, any advance on 1 4?

At £1 400 going once, going twice...

at £1 400 going for the third time.

Fifty thousand pounds!

-Was that £1 500 l was bid? -No.

lt was fifty thousand.

-You took your time. -Come back, come back!

-Tania? -Sarah?

What do you mean, l took my time? You walked out on me.

l said where l was going in the note.

-What note? -The one under your windscreen wiper.

l told you to get that wiper fixed.

Excuse me, but can we get back to your 50 000 quid?

Wait a minute.

Our horses are not for sale to a Gorgio.

keep out of it, you're not on commission.

-No sale. -Really?

Why not ask Natalie? lt's her horse.

What do you think you're buying? The horse, or the woman?

l'm buying the horse.

The woman has a mind of her own.

So what did you put in the note?

lt doesn't matter. We should leave things the way they are.

-Our worlds are too far apart. -No.

Look what happened with the right person from the right world.

Why not try the wrong person?

You heard what she said.

No sale. Woman or horse.

Fight him for her.

Shut up, all of you.

Do you want a fight?

Oh, for God's sake.

Yes, all right, if that's what you want.

Come on.

Manni is the bare knuckle champion for the whole of northern England.

Oh, yeah? Too scared to come south, were you?

No.

Grow up, the pair of you.

There's only one person whose opinion means anything. Sarah.

Come here.

How do you feel about Leon?

Throw in Tania and it's a deal.

Fifty thousand pounds, going, going, gone.

Sold. To the man who should know better.

So l said good-bye to 1 00 grand a year, the pension, the car...

and the only health care l get now is dock leaves.

l'm left with a gypsy woman, two kids and a couple of horses.

Nightmare right?

Yes. And l don't ever want to wake up.