All language subtitles for Doc Martin S10E09 - Xmas Special - Last Christmas in Portwenn 1080P x264 RB58

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian Download
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian Download
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish Download
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,240 SEAGULLS CALL 2 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,400 {\an8}Is he really here? He is, yeah. 3 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,560 {\an8}Do you think he got my letter at the North Pole? 4 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:50,920 {\an8}Of course he did. 5 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,600 {\an8}Daddy, did you write him a letter? 6 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,800 {\an8}Er, no. I didn't, James, no. Oh. 7 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,520 {\an8}Oh, look at that. 8 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:02,080 {\an8}Haven't they done a wonderful job with the tree this year? Hm. 9 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,600 {\an8}CAROLLERS:# Good King Wenceslas Looked out on the Feast of Stephen 10 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,120 {\an8}# When the snow lay round about Deep and crisp and even... # 11 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:10,600 TURKEY GOBBLES 12 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,800 Hey, fancy guessing the weight of the turkey, Doc? 13 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,240 One pound, two guesses. No. 14 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,680 He's very friendly. Turns out turkeys got a lot of personality. 15 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,480 Hm. Make sure you wash your hands. They're filthy. 16 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:24,840 TURKEY GOBBLES 17 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,120 CAROLLERS CONTINUE 18 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,080 Has there always been Christmas? 19 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,800 Yeah. Er, no. 20 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,280 Well, not ALWAYS always. 21 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,160 No, it used to be called the Winter Solstice, 22 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,320 but in the fourth century, 23 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,200 Pope Julius chose the 25th of December for Christmas 24 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,960 because he wanted to replace the pagan Saturnalia festival. 25 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,120 James! 26 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,760 Jenny. Hi! 27 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,600 Mm, delicious! Careful, Doc! 28 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,000 Another inch, you're under the mistletoe. 29 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,040 Anyone who wanted could lay a smacker on you. 30 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,960 SHE GULPS What? 31 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,480 Mrs Tishell... 32 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,000 No, I'm fine, Doc. I'm just fine. 33 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,240 It's so nice to see you here, Doc. 34 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,880 How long has this food been outside? 35 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,440 Only since this morning. 36 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,520 You should wear a hair net. It's unhygienic. 37 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,760 CAROLLERS:# Nine ladies dancing Eight maids a-milking 38 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,560 # Seven swans a-swimming Six geese a-laying 39 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,840 # Five gold rings... # 40 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,120 I think that's my favourite song. 41 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,680 Yeah, as Christmas ones go, it's all right. 42 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,640 No, not my favourite Christmas song. My favourite song ever. 43 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:35,400 This guy buys this girl all these amazing gifts. 44 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:38,160 Five gold rings, four calling birds, 45 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:42,400 three French men... It's so romantic. 46 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,960 I got you some eggnog. 47 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,200 Oh, yeah, thanks. 48 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,880 Happy Christmas! 49 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,040 Oh, hello, James! Ha-ha. 50 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,520 Are you here to see Santa? 51 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,160 That'll be £10, please, Doc. 52 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,960 £10? Yeah. 53 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,440 Oh... It's fine. Thanks. 54 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,200 Thank you. 55 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,240 £10, really (!) 56 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,720 Merry Christmas, Doc. 57 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,360 And what do you want for Christmas? 58 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,840 Oh, an actual list. Excellent. 59 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,520 Ho-ho-ho-ho! Laura, look this way. 60 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,680 And here's your present. 61 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,200 Yeah, don't forget. 62 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,240 Merry Christmas. Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! 63 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,720 Urgh, look at him. Martin. 64 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,400 He keeps scratching. 65 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:26,880 What, Santa? 66 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,920 Well, he's probably just hot under the lights. 67 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,480 Disgusting! Oi, Doc, move up. 68 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,400 Ah, what do we have here? 69 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:38,320 A smartly dressed young man with a very nice tie. 70 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,280 Did you tie that yourself? 71 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,200 How wonderful. 72 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:43,720 And what do you want for Christmas? 73 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,080 Look, don't, Martin. Excuse me. 74 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,760 I'm afraid you'll have to join the queue, big boy. 75 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,960 You keep scratching. Is there something wrong? 76 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,840 Santa's got a new costume and the material's a bit itchy. 77 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,760 Now, come and tell Santa what you want for Christmas. 78 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:58,480 Uh-uh, no. Don't go any closer. 79 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,120 He could be contagious. Let me see. 80 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,600 You're being ridiculous. Show me, please. 81 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,560 Doc, you're holding up the line! Leave Santa alone! 82 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,240 Leave it, Martin. Excuse me, what's the hold-up? 83 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,560 Here, Doc, you're gonna have to come out of there. 84 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,280 This man has a potentially infectious disease. 85 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,400 That rash could be shingles, erysipelas or scabies. 86 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,720 A virus, a bacteria or a parasite. 87 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,000 Do you really want to infect your children? Do you? 88 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,200 Right, I want you to come with me. Seriously? 89 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,800 Seriously. Come with me. You need to fumigate this place. 90 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,720 Doc, I think you're over-reacting, just a tad. 91 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,760 Shut it down. Come on. Sorry, he does mean well. 92 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,360 Right, you heard what the doc said. Everybody out. 93 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,320 Come on now. Out you go. I'm sorry, no returns. 94 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,440 That's what I said, no returns. I'm sorry, don't be sad. 95 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,760 We'll come back next year. 96 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,440 There'll be other Santas, other grottos. 97 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,080 You get on the examination table, please. 98 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,080 Take off your boot and roll up your trouser leg. 99 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,880 How long have you had this for? A week or so. 100 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,800 I'm sorry, I can't hear what you're saying. Take that beard off. 101 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,800 Probably allergic to the material in the costume. 102 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,720 Do you have a history of allergies? 103 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:13,440 No. Do you have a history of ruining Christmas? 104 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,920 I didn't ruin Christmas. 105 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,800 All those traumatised children who saw you drag away Santa 106 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:19,440 might well disagree on that. 107 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,640 It doesn't look like an allergic reaction to me. 108 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,760 I'll do a punch biopsy. A biopsy? 109 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,960 Won't I have to go to hospital for that? 110 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,760 Er, no. This has a blade which removes 111 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,400 a small plug of skin through the epidermis and the dermis, 112 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,920 into the subcutaneous fat below. 113 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:37,760 Do you have any other symptoms? At my age, there's always something. 114 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,600 Aches and pains, wear and tear. 115 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:45,040 I lost some weight. Stomach's been a bit dodgy. Probably nerves. 116 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:46,680 Nerves? 117 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,120 My job is to bring joy and wonder to the children of Portwenn. 118 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,680 I take that seriously. 119 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,720 Do you suffer from fatigue? I don't suffer, Doc. 120 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:56,640 I enjoy the work. 121 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,560 But, yes, it does take a lot out of me, I suppose. 122 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,320 Right, I'll take a blood sample, check if you're anaemic or not. 123 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,920 Poke away. So long as it lets me get back out there and do my job. 124 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,160 Er, no, you're not to mix with children, I'm afraid. 125 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,560 Until we've discovered if you're infectious or not. 126 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:17,800 I-I've got a big surprise lined up for the village on Christmas Eve. 127 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,360 I really don't wanna let folk down. 128 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,240 I'm sorry, you're not going anywhere until we have your test results. 129 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,480 I should have the blood available tomorrow 130 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,680 and the biopsy sometime next week. 131 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,200 Not a fan of Christmas, are you? 132 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,960 I don't have any feelings about it either way. 133 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,960 Doesn't come across my desk. 134 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:37,840 Somebody needs to show you the true magic of the season, Doc. 135 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,600 I'm sure they do, thank you. And we're finished for now. 136 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,720 Close the door on your way out, please. 137 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,120 How are you? 138 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,440 Is Santa angry at us? 139 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,320 No, of course not. 140 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,880 I didn't get to meet him. 141 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:14,520 I'm sorry. It's such a shame. 142 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,720 Here, come and sit down. 143 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,760 Aw... 144 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,520 You know, when I was your age, 145 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,920 Portwenn used to have a lantern parade on Christmas Eve. 146 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,200 And it was so lovely. 147 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,880 All these lights would be coming down the hill, 148 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,920 with Santa Claus at the front. 149 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,080 Can we do that? 150 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:42,000 Well, no, cos someone would need to arrange and organise it. 151 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,200 You could. Oh, I didn't mean me. 152 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,240 And I could get to meet Santa. 153 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,560 Well, yeah, you could, 154 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,240 but it's Christmas Eve tomorrow, so... 155 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,760 Please. 156 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,440 ..so I suppose I'd better get a move on, right? 157 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,160 Yes. 158 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,040 Tomorrow? That's short notice. 159 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:08,120 I just want James to have a Christmas he won't forget. 160 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,800 You know, I have all these happy memories of it as a child. 161 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,360 You know, the parade and the lights. 162 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,800 And I still remember the little red bike my father gave me 163 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,040 when I was four. 164 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,920 Yes, probably stolen. Martin! 165 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,200 PHONE RINGS 166 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,160 Ellingham. 167 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,880 Yes. 168 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,080 I am. 169 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,440 Ah... 170 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:38,800 I see. 171 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,560 Right. 172 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,160 When would that be? 173 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,440 Yes. I see. 174 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,240 Thank you. 175 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,000 Everything OK? 176 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,760 Er, that was the, er, London Royal Hospital. 177 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,880 My mother died of a heart attack at 11 o'clock this morning. 178 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,080 Oh, Martin... 179 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:11,800 I'm so sorry. 180 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,800 I should tell Ruth, I suppose. 181 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,160 After lunch, maybe. 182 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,800 Come here. 183 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,520 It's... I don't want the fish to get dry. 184 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,760 There goes the Grinch. CHUCKLING 185 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,560 Thanks for ruining Christmas! 186 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,760 Tosser! Tosser!Tosser! 187 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,280 KNOCK AT DOOR 188 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,360 Hello, Martin. Come in. Thank you. 189 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:04,280 You'll have to forgive me. I'm experimenting with eggnog. 190 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,680 What is it? 191 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:12,320 Er, my mother suffered a heart attack this morning and died. 192 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,920 Oh, dear. 193 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,760 I'm sorry to hear that. Mm. 194 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,200 Erm... 195 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,000 Oh, when will the funeral be? 196 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,080 Sometime between Christmas and the new year. 197 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,040 May I ask how you're feeling? 198 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,800 Erm, I'm-I'm fine. We weren't very close. 199 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,480 She was your mother. 200 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,720 She stole my clock. 201 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,000 Don't be too hard on yourself, Martin. 202 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,320 Grief has a way of stealing up on us all, 203 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,360 even when we think we're free of it. 204 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,600 Honestly, I'm fine. 205 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,080 Poor Margaret. 206 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:52,240 I always hoped that she'd become the mother that you deserved, but... 207 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,320 Oh, well, I won't speak ill of the dead. 208 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,400 She was an awful woman and a terrible mother. 209 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,120 I thought you weren't going to speak ill. 210 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,600 I was being polite. 211 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:13,800 'How much?' 212 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,680 No, but seriously. 213 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,080 Look, I know it's short notice, but... 214 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,640 I'm gonna have to call you back. 215 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,640 Hello, Louisa. What can I do for you? 216 00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:30,520 Joe, you've, er, got a little something on your face. 217 00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:33,760 It's for, erm, undercover work. 218 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,000 Well, I'm here because I'd like to organise 219 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,040 a lantern parade for tomorrow. 220 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,680 A lantern parade? Haven't had one of those for years. 221 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,120 Unfortunately, from a police standpoint, 222 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,640 tomorrow's just not possible. 223 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,880 Oh... Oh, that's a shame. Mm. 224 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,720 Because I was gonna ask you to be Santa and lead the parade. 225 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:55,280 Well, when I say not possible, I mean not... 226 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,280 NOT possible. 227 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,440 So it... it is possible? 228 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,640 I'm here to help. What do we need? 229 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,680 Well, we need lanterns. About 40 or 50. 230 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,840 No problem. I'll talk to Bert. Great. And can you spread the word? 231 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:10,280 Just to confirm, I shall be playing Santa Claus 232 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:11,520 and leading the parade? 233 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:14,680 Yeah. Wonderful. 234 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,440 You know, between you and me, it's not really for undercover work. 235 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,760 I know. I can see your costume hanging up at the back. 236 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,560 Ha, very good. You should be a policeman. 237 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,240 HUMMING A TUNE 238 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,320 SHE GULPS 239 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,240 GAGGING 240 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,160 Mrs Tishell, I've come to pick up my medical supplies 241 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,600 for the holiday period. 242 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,720 What are you doing? Mrs Tishell? 243 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,480 You're choking. 244 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,160 Turn round. 245 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,720 Got it? Oh... Oh... 246 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,200 Right, just let go. Oh, thank you, Doctor. 247 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,560 Let go. Let go of my arms. 248 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,280 HOARSELY:Oh, thank you, Doctor. It went down the wrong way. 249 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:19,920 You were choking before as well. 250 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,680 Well, I-I-I do need to take more care in future. 251 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,240 Why is your voice hoarse? 252 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:27,840 Cos I was singing carols yesterday. You saved my life, Doctor. 253 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,240 Come here into the light. Oh... 254 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,560 Mmm... Mm, mm, mm! 255 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:37,960 No, no, no! 256 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,400 But the mistletoe...! No! 257 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,320 No, I'll come and collect my supplies later. 258 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,120 I'm sorry, Doc! I-I had to. 259 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,640 Cos this might be my last... 260 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,680 my last Christmas. 261 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,200 There you go, John. Cheers, Bert. Merry Christmas. 262 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,560 I know the doc has a job to do, but so do I. 263 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,960 And it's not fair, you know? It's just not fair. 264 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,440 Yes, we know. You keep on saying, Leonard. 265 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:10,080 Sorry. Don't mean to go on about it. It's all right. 266 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,720 If you can't go to your local for a drink and a moan, 267 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,720 where can you go? It's good to see you in here again. 268 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,360 It's been a while. 269 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,680 It's the children I feel sorry for. 270 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,360 It's a bit of magic in their lives. 271 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,280 Takes me months to make these. 272 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,760 I don't blame the doc. 273 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,480 No, he's to be pitied. 274 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,640 He just... 275 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,920 He just doesn't get it. 276 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,840 But don't worry, Santa isn't done yet. 277 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,800 Oh! 278 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,280 I think Santa's done for the day at least. 279 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,800 Best go home and sleep it off, eh? 280 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,000 This isn't like you. Do you need me to call you a taxi? 281 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,200 No, it's OK. 282 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,560 I've got a sleigh. 283 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,520 Sorry, she kissed you? Yeah. 284 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:57,840 On the cheek or...? 285 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,120 No, no, no. On the... Smack on the mouth. 286 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,960 Maybe she was aiming for the cheek. No, she wasn't. 287 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,440 It was quite shocking. 288 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,640 And there was this peculiar metallic tang, 289 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,000 which didn't make it any better. 290 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,680 I'm not sure I wanna know all the details now, thank you. 291 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,280 Oh, I don't blame you. 292 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,600 Did she say why she did it? Something about mistletoe. 293 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,040 FOOTSTEPS APPROACH 294 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,920 I've brushed my teeth and I'm ready for bed. 295 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,840 Oh, would you like me to come and read to you? 296 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,480 No. It's the new one. 297 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,000 I said NO. 298 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,200 James, you don't raise your voice to your father. 299 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,080 LOW RUMBLING, STONES CLATTERING 300 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,400 What is that?! Oh, my God! 301 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,840 THUDDING It's coming from upstairs. 302 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,400 It's on the roof. It's Santa Claus! 303 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,120 Don't be ridiculous. 304 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,640 DOG BARKING 305 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,200 Ho-ho-ho! 306 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,880 What are you doing up there?! 307 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,120 I'm showing you the magic of Christmas! 308 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,760 Well, get down, right now. 309 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,680 Ho-ho-ho-ho! 310 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,080 What's going on? I saw the commotion from The Platt. Wait, is that...? 311 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,000 It's Santa Claus! 312 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,360 Well, maybe to the untrained eye. 313 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,280 You need to get up there and get that man down. 314 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,520 He is drunk, he's a danger to himself and my property. 315 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,640 Follow me. Please don't hurt Santa. 316 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,640 Ho-ho-ho-ho! 317 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,280 All right, Leonard? 318 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,480 That's not my name. 319 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,520 All right... Santa? 320 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,160 Why don't you just come over here 321 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,560 nice and slowly...? Is he coming? 322 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,800 That man needs to learn the true meaning of Christmas. 323 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,520 Oh, he just wants to teach you the true meaning of Christmas. 324 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,240 No, get back up there, go and get him! 325 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,240 OK, OK. Ah, ah... 326 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,480 Ah... 327 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:56,720 Well... unless the true meaning of Christmas 328 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,600 is that he's gonna get his chimney blocked, 329 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,800 I suggest... 330 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,480 Oh, that's a big drop! 331 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,520 It could... It could make you feel a bit, a bit... 332 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,200 Whoa! PANTING 333 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,160 Don't let go, Leonard! 334 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,640 That's not my name! 335 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,800 Santa! Don't let go, Santa! 336 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,600 I won't. HE GRUNTS 337 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,400 Oh, God. 338 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,960 Oh, oh, oh... Argh... 339 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,680 Whoops. Oh, don't say whoops! Argh! 340 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:28,880 Ah, ah, ah... 341 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,840 Thanks, Doc. It wasn't me. 342 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,520 It was just everything started moving. I went dizzy. 343 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:37,920 It's vertigo. 344 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,720 And you're drunk and a disgrace. Come down. 345 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,600 Merry Christmas, Doc! 346 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,960 What on Earth were you thinking of? Sorry, Doc. 347 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,080 I suppose I get a bit emotional this time of the year. 348 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,400 I had a few drinks. 349 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,760 Normally don't touch the stuff. A few drinks? You're drunk. 350 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,200 It was only two. 351 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,680 Really? Well, you must have a very low tolerance for alcohol. 352 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,280 I suggest you keep avoiding it. 353 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,720 That was incredibly irresponsible. The harm you could've done yourself 354 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,920 or Penhale. Not to mention my family. 355 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,800 Lucky I was there to save you. 356 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,520 Right, come on, I'll drive you home. 357 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,560 At least your son got to see Santa. 358 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,800 Yes, if he'd been really lucky, he'd have seen Santa 359 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,680 fall off the roof and break his neck. 360 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,600 James... 361 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:34,960 HE SIGHS 362 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,560 Look what Santa brought... 363 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,840 Hello? 364 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000 Hello? 365 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:18,520 DOG BARKS, GROWLS 366 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,040 DOG BARKS 367 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,920 No! Ow! 368 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,680 Out, out, OUT! 369 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,120 Why is it in here? I wonder what's wrong. 370 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,040 It's a dog. That's what's wrong. It's always barking. 371 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,480 No, it's-it's not always barking. 372 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,000 And it's never at this time in the morning. 373 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,040 BARKING CONTINUES 374 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,640 Martin? Yes. 375 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,200 James has gone! What? Where? 376 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,800 I don't know, he's left this note. It says he's gone to the North Pole. 377 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:48,600 Oh, James is a smart, sensible boy, he wouldn't do that. 378 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,840 He's not in his room and you're literally holding a note 379 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,760 saying he's gone. All right, I'll get dressed 380 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,880 and we'll go and find him. 381 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,080 Yeah, maybe he's just hiding in the house somewhere. 382 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:59,080 James, James! Come on, hurry up. James! 383 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,320 He's never done anything like this before. 384 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,320 I think it's cos his head's been filled with 385 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,080 all this Father Christmas stuff. 386 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:08,160 Well, you're the one who practically dragged Santa out the grotto, 387 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,920 then shouted at him yesterday. 388 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,080 Well, he was on our roof! 389 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,960 But James doesn't get that. He just.. 390 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,240 He just sees you ruining Christmas. I'm not ruining Christmas! 391 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,920 Is it so bad that he might enjoy it? 392 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:23,000 Even you must have some happy memories of it as a child. 393 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,960 No, I don't. MOBILE PHONE RINGS 394 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,520 Well, isn't that a good reason to make sure that James and Mary do? 395 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,280 Ruth. 396 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:32,720 Yes. 397 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,200 We're on our way. 398 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,960 She's got him. She's giving him breakfast. 399 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,720 Oh, thank goodness. Right, but I'll pick him up. 400 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,160 I'm sorry, Martin, it's just that under the circumstances, 401 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,960 I think it's better that I go there alone. 402 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,240 Right. 403 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,200 DOG BARKS 404 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:52,640 Shut up. 405 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,600 Oh, good morning, Doc. Oh, you're all wet. 406 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,360 I want to talk about yesterday. 407 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,440 Oh, s... Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm very sorry. 408 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:17,560 Erm, I know it was unprofessional and that you're probably very angry. 409 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:21,480 Unless you're not... and you want to suggest that we elope together, 410 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,720 slipping away into the night... No. No. No! 411 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,560 When you forced your mouth against mine yesterday, 412 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,480 I noticed a strong acidic taste. 413 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,320 And yesterday I saw you choke twice, on two different occasions. 414 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,000 Also, your voice is very hoarse. 415 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,840 Well that's cos I've been singing carols. 416 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,240 And I am sorry, but I have to close for lunch. 417 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:41,640 It's 8:15 in the morning. 418 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,080 Well, I'm... I'm not ill, Doctor. 419 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,320 Do you get a sensation like there's a lump in your throat 420 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,520 when you swallow? No. 421 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:53,200 No, because that would be very worrying if I thought that... 422 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:55,800 Yes. 423 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,040 You can read me like a book, Doctor. 424 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,320 Hmm. Let me take a look. 425 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,200 Ah, oh... 426 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,880 I first noticed it a couple of weeks ago. 427 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,720 And I feel something every time I swallow. 428 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:16,080 {\an8}An enlarged lymph node. I know what that means, Doctor. 429 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:18,680 Stop talking. Open your mouth and tilt your head back. 430 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,120 Don't try to kiss me. 431 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,440 Ahh! Swallow. 432 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,920 SHE GULPS Yes. You have GORD. 433 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,080 Gastroesophageal reflux disease. 434 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,480 I'll prescribe Omeprazole, but we should keep an eye on it. 435 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,680 Chronic inflammation of the oesophagus over time 436 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,400 could lead to more serious complications and damage. 437 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:41,200 What, so, basically... 438 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,720 heartburn? 439 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,520 Yes. I'm not dying? 440 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,880 No, not yet. Hold still. 441 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,160 Mm. Normal movement. 442 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,200 Your prolapsed disc must have healed. 443 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,040 You don't need to wear the neck brace any more. 444 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,800 Oh, I-I-I think just to be on the safe side... 445 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,760 There is no safe side. You just don't need to. 446 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:06,080 Maybe just pop it back on for a few minutes. Not more, I-I... 447 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,920 If you have an issue with taking it off, 448 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,440 then I can refer you to a clinical psychologist if you like. 449 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,080 No. There's no need for that. 450 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:17,000 Consider it gone. 451 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,840 And thank you, Doctor, for your infinite patience and understanding. 452 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,000 Yes. 453 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:45,520 Medical supplies, please. 454 00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,040 Yes, Doctor. 455 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:53,960 Thank you. 456 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,240 I was just coming back from the newsagents 457 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,440 and I saw him strolling down the street. 458 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,840 I managed to persuade him to have some breakfast 459 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:09,280 before he continued his journey to the North Pole. 460 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,440 WEATHER REPORT ON TV: '..freezing conditions, sub-zero. 461 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,520 'And you can see there's a strong band of low pressure...' 462 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,400 What you did was very wrong, James. 463 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,800 You can't just go walking off like that. 464 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,120 Mummy and Daddy were very worried. 465 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,480 '..with a good chance of some snow on the higher ground. 466 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,680 'And that's gonna give some of us in Cornwall...' 467 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:28,840 It says it might snow. 468 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,080 '..a white Christmas...' 469 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:32,120 You won't need to go to the North Pole now, will you? 470 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,680 Doesn't matter. I hate Christmas! 471 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,280 He's just like his father. 472 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,200 Well, no. No, he's not, Ruth. 473 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,080 Because, actually, Daddy's very much looking forward to seeing Santa 474 00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:42,560 at the parade tonight as well. 475 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:43,840 Really? 476 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,320 Of course. 477 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:48,360 So, why don't you go and clean up your bowl and we'll get on home? 478 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,560 SONG: 'Twelve Days Of Christmas' 479 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,440 SHE SCREAMS, CHICKENS CLUCK 480 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:08,800 FLAPPING 481 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,320 SHE WHIMPERS 482 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,360 'Be honest, Doc, how bad is it?' 483 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,560 It's just a few minor scratches. Oh, God. 484 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,760 I've probably caught all kinds of horrible diseases. 485 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,200 Diseases from birds are usually spread by inhaling the dust 486 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,240 from their droppings. 487 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,800 Worst a scratch'll do is give you a mild superficial infection. 488 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:31,760 Did you just say super-infection? 489 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,560 No, I said superficial infection. 490 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,800 This is hardly the emergency you said it was. 491 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,960 Hello, hello, hell...! Oh. 492 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,720 Oh, Doc, what are you doing here? What's happened? 493 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,280 Some psycho left birds in a box to attack me. 494 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,480 They didn't attack you. They scratched you. 495 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:46,600 The doc's right. 496 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,240 Bit soon to be using inflammatory language like psycho. 497 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,520 Maybe someone just wanted to give you a gift. 498 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,560 What, a gift of three chickens?! And then there's the note. 499 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,640 "This is only the beginning." That's a threat if ever I heard one. 500 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:00,520 Bye. Er, no. Wait up, Doc. 501 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,840 Er, Louisa asked me to look after the kids. I'll be safer there. 502 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,240 Joe, deal with those. 503 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,840 CHICKENS CLUCK 504 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,840 Oh. Good morning! Oh, hello, Agatha. 505 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,160 I'm afraid the surgery isn't open till after Christmas now. 506 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,920 Oh, no, I've come to see you. Official Parish Council business. 507 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,960 Oh, right. OK. 508 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,120 Of course. Erm... 509 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:26,320 She does realise 510 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:30,560 that that turkey is gonna end up on someone's dinner table? 511 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,840 Yeah, course she does. Who's a good boy? Yeah, you are. 512 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,800 You know, I've made almost as much from selling 513 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,240 guess-the-weight raffle tickets 514 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,920 than I have had from selling food these past few days. 515 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,760 The great thing is, the chances of someone actually guessing 516 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:46,000 the weight of that bird are close to zero. Oh, dear. 517 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,200 It's a shame that Christmas comes but once a year. 518 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,360 Here we go. Pop it over there. 519 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:56,320 I got some battery lanterns, candle ones, 520 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:58,520 and some of those fancy sky ones. 521 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,040 Here, were they expensive? 522 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,880 It doesn't matter, Bert. It's Christmas. 523 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,400 We're not gonna charge for them. Oh, no, of course not. 524 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,240 TURKEY CLUCKS, GOBBLES 525 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:16,040 Sorry, Agatha, we had a little bit of an incident here today. 526 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,440 Oh. SHE CHUCKLES 527 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,000 Would you like some tea? Oh, no, thank you. 528 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,480 I understand you're planning a lantern parade this evening? 529 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,520 Yes. Well, it's a bit last-minute, 530 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,000 but it's all coming together, touch wood. 531 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,320 CHUCKLING:How wonderful. Although, you know the rules. 532 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:34,160 You haven't lodged your event notification form with the council 533 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,600 60 days prior to the event and had it ratified. 534 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:41,840 No. I thought as it's just a few people walking down the street... 535 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,360 Oh... A few people walking down the street... 536 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:48,840 It's a bit like saying a rock concert is a few people in a field. 537 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,360 Agatha, James is really looking forward to this. 538 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,000 I know the village feels the same. 539 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,520 And it really will just be a few people with lanterns... 540 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,680 Hi, guys. 541 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,520 Martin, this is Agatha. She's from the Parish Council. 542 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,040 Doctor Ellingham. Yes. 543 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,800 Apologies if I look a little flustered. 544 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,000 I've just been attacked by some birds. 545 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:11,680 Oh, my. It was nothing. 546 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,880 Oh, sure! "Lose one eye, get another." 547 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:15,560 That must have been horrible. 548 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,040 Those awful things with their mean, little beaks 549 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,440 and lifeless, black eyes. 550 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,160 I know! Thankfully, Janice survived. 551 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,000 I know she's really looking forward to the parade as well. 552 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:26,600 I'm not really that bothered... 553 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,720 But, yes, very much so. 554 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,200 Janice, can you check on Mary, please? 555 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:33,640 Yes. 556 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,920 Is there any way we can get the event signed off by this evening? 557 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:43,720 This isn't about paperwork. 558 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,920 This is about the safety of the village 559 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,680 during the most dangerous time of the year. 560 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,000 Well, I'm not sure Christmas is that dangerous. 561 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:52,680 Oh, really? 562 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:56,000 Over-eating. People drinking too much alcohol. 563 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,920 Suppose there is a little bit of that, yeah. 564 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,200 Then there's injuries from putting up decorations, 565 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:04,160 injuries from taking them down, candles, fires, indigestion, 566 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:08,400 food poisoning, allergies, choking, slipping on snow, slipping on ice... 567 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,600 Have you ever seen a Christmas tree catch alight? 568 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,840 I don't know why people have them in their homes. 569 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,800 They're incendiary devices. And don't forget batteries, 570 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,560 which children seem to swallow all day long 571 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:18,880 during the Christmas holidays, 572 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:20,560 leaking corrosive acid into the stomach 573 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,600 and destroying its lining. They're quite lethal. 574 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,600 I did forget them! Thank you, doctor. 575 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,800 Yes, thank you, Martin (!) 576 00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,840 You know, we've got a meeting now about the parade. 577 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,760 Why don't you come along and see that there's nothing to worry about? 578 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,000 I suppose I could. Great. 579 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,680 Martin, try and speak to James. Make sure he's OK. 580 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,120 Yes. 581 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,840 Come along, we should get going. Oh. Um... 582 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,000 So, if nobody wins, do we get to keep Toby? 583 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,200 I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it. 584 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,160 Chances are someone's guessed it correctly. 585 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,040 Maybe. Maybe not. 586 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,320 The plan is for people to start at the school 587 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,760 and make their way down here to the Christmas tree at The Platt. 588 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,760 That's relatively straight-forward. Yeah, yeah, well, it is. 589 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,160 So, we all set, Louisa? Not quite. 590 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,760 Apparently, we need permission from Portwenn Parish Council. 591 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,920 Erm, Agatha, you know Joe Penhale and Bert Large, don't you? 592 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,600 I am aware of them both, yes. 593 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,840 What safety procedures have you in play for the parade? 594 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:23,960 Well... they're just walking from up there to there, so... 595 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,600 I thought I'd use the 1986 Public Order Act as my framework. 596 00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:31,160 Although, for me, the 1936 original was far more effective. 597 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:32,880 But then I'm just a police officer 598 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,080 with the lowest crime rate in Devon and Cornwall 599 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:36,600 five years running, so what do I know? 600 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,040 That's true. 601 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:39,520 High-vis jackets? 602 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,840 Please! I don't get out of bed in the morning 603 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:43,440 without a high-vis jacket on. 604 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,080 LAUGHTER 605 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:48,280 Have you got a health and safety protocol? 606 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,280 Er, no, not as such. 607 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:54,240 But then, you know, we-we only had a day and... 608 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,080 Well, so what? So what?! 609 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,960 Yes. So what! You know, the village needs this. 610 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,760 To be able to come together and celebrate as a community. 611 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,040 The benefits surely outweigh the risks. 612 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,160 Agatha, you're the only person that can make it happen. 613 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,800 Or not. 614 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,160 I suppose it's only a short walk. 615 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,760 Great. So we're OK for tonight? 616 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,400 TURKEY GOBBLES Is that a turkey? 617 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:22,480 Er, excuse me, why have you got livestock next to a food truck? 618 00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:23,840 It's unhygienic. 619 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,880 He's called Toby and he's not unhygienic, he's very clean. 620 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,280 I gave him a bath this morning. And we're just weighing him 621 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,320 to see if anyone's won the competition. 622 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,960 What competition? Well, guess its weight correctly 623 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,960 and it could end up on your table this Christmas. 624 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,720 Unfortunately, nobody got it right. 625 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,880 Here, have a go. On the house. 626 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:42,720 Oh, I don't know... 627 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,680 Nine pounds, 11 ounces. 628 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,640 That is amazing. How did you do that? 629 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:51,440 Wait, I won?! 630 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,920 I don't like birds, and definitely not that one. 631 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:55,720 He's not asking you to look after it. 632 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,080 It's for Christmas lunch. 633 00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,040 Yeah, we'll get the butcher to deliver it later. 634 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,560 Or you could have the satisfaction of knowing you were correct 635 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,000 and leave it at that. 636 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,480 Mor, it is a turkey, it's Christmas. It's had a good, long life. 637 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,640 Not that long. Christmas turkeys are usually five months old. 638 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:13,680 Well, we've all learned something new today. So, the parade... 639 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,560 So, the butcher will kill it and chop it up for me? 640 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,120 Yeah. All part of the prize. 641 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,520 See what it's like when a community comes together. 642 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,040 AGATHA CHUCKLES 643 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,240 He does seem like a healthy specimen. 644 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,760 TURKEY GOBBLES Oh, my! Oh! 645 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:35,800 Mr Maitland, this is Doctor Ellingham. 646 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,040 I have your test results. 647 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,280 Can you please call me as soon as you get this? Thank you. 648 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,480 DOG BARKS James... 649 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,680 Can you ask your dog to be quiet, please? 650 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:45,040 DOG WHIMPERS 651 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,240 James? 652 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,320 James?! 653 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,200 DOG BARKS 654 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:57,640 Downstairs, shoo! 655 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,080 Hello, James. 656 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:04,960 You're upset with me. 657 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,280 Mmm. 658 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:19,440 When I was your age, I'd wake up on Christmas morning... 659 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:24,280 ..and at the end of my bed, every year, 660 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:28,680 was a stocking with an orange and a pencil set in it. 661 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,560 And I'd run down to my mother and father's room... 662 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,000 ..but... 663 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,160 But what? 664 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,560 MOBILE PHONE RINGS 665 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:41,720 Excuse me. 666 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:44,040 Yes. 667 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:46,600 Right. 668 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,760 Yes. 669 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,040 Oh, I'm sorry, there's an emergency. I have to go. 670 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,840 Janice is downstairs if you need anything. 671 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,960 And we'll, erm... Er, we'll talk again. Well done. 672 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,600 Off, shoo, downstairs! 673 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,120 DOG BARKS, JAMES SIGHS 674 00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,120 OK, Agatha, I need you to remain still, yeah? 675 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:07,480 Just try not to move. 676 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,240 SHOUTING: Out of the way, coming through! 677 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,440 You can probably hear somebody barking at people. That's the doc. 678 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,200 Er, she's had a fall. She's got a cut on the back of her head. 679 00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:17,760 I've tried to stem the blood, but I think she's concussed. 680 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,400 Well done. Anybody called an ambulance? 681 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:20,800 On its way, Doc. 682 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,280 Do you know where you are? Turkey. 683 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,040 I think she means the bird, Doc, not the country. 684 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,720 I won it from the food truck. 685 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,400 Told you. Yes, shush. 686 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,360 I never won anything before! 687 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:32,840 Keep still and stop talking. 688 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:38,160 Sorry, I hate to do this, but do we have the Parish go-ahead 689 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:39,960 for the parade? 690 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,320 Oh, Louisa, really? Not now, come on.Sorry. 691 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,080 SHE MUTTERS 692 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,480 What did that mean? 693 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,920 I'm pretty sure it was a yes. 694 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,120 You're just saying that cos you wanna be Santa Claus. 695 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:56,480 Yes, I am. Because you're right, Louisa. 696 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,160 We deserve this. All of us. 697 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,560 Do you really wanna tell James that this has been cancelled as well? 698 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,400 You're trying to emotionally manipulate me. 699 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,320 Is it working? Might be, yeah. 700 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:12,240 Because... technically, Agatha didn't say no... 701 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,120 Everyone! The parade's still on. Joe, no, that's not what I meant... 702 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,680 Right, let's get to work. Come on! OK, then. 703 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,080 Mor, what are you doing? 704 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,640 Oh, I-I thought I'd drive him to the butcher's myself. 705 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,360 Well, I-I can do that. 706 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,080 Yeah, erm... 707 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,000 I know it's silly, but I... 708 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:32,160 I just want a chance to say goodbye. 709 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,640 What, to the...? 710 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:36,680 Right, OK. I understand. 711 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:39,680 But, I mean, it is a... It's a turkey at Christmas. 712 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:40,800 Yeah, I know. 713 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,960 Just take it easy. Rest up. 714 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,960 Erm, avoid the bumpy roads. Keep it smooth. 715 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,920 MOBILE PHONE RINGS Yes, Doc. 716 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,200 We know how to drive an ambulance. 717 00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:50,400 Ellingham. 718 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:54,640 Doc, it's Leonard Maitland. You left a message? 719 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,240 Ah, Mr Maitland, yes. Your test results have come back. 720 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,440 It's bad news, isn't it? 721 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,760 To be honest, I've been having dizzy spells all day. 722 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,120 It's made working in the garage really tricky. 723 00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,480 If you're feeling dizzy, you shouldn't be up and about. 724 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:09,960 Yeah, all right... 725 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:13,640 'I'll go and get a seat.' 726 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,920 CLATTERING 727 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,600 Oh, oh... 728 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,200 Mr Maitland? What's happened? 729 00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:27,480 Just fell over and took the shelf down with me and... 730 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,000 Oh, no. 731 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,520 Doc, I don't wanna panic here, 732 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,280 but there's a massive cut in my leg and a lot of blood. 733 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,800 I'll just try and patch myself up. 734 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:47,560 'Bleeding everywhere here.' 735 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:50,040 Right, put pressure on the wound and keep the leg raised. 736 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,200 I'll call an ambulance. 737 00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:52,960 Er, I'm sure it'll be fine. 738 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,440 'Er, no. Your blood test showed that you're grossly anaemic. 739 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,160 'You can't afford to lose any more blood.' 740 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,560 It's not like as I could bleed to death, is it? 741 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:03,240 Ah, well, in a worst-case scenario, er, yes. In a few hours. 742 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,040 Then can you please get off the phone 743 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:06,680 and call me a bloody ambulance! 744 00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:08,040 Yes! 745 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,680 TURKEY CLUCKS 746 00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:14,200 I don't want you to go, but this is the only way. 747 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,040 And I just wanna say thank you. 748 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,720 I didn't think I was ready, but... 749 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,360 I hadn't actually finished yet, Toby. 750 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,520 It's fine. TURKEY CHATTERS 751 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,280 Bye, then. 752 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,160 TURKEY GOBBLES 753 00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,000 No, no fireworks. And no sky lanterns. 754 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:40,640 Hang on a minute! I can get a really good deal on those. 755 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,480 We don't wanna take anyone's attention away from the parade. 756 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,920 Louisa, excuse me. Martin, I'm in a meeting. 757 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:48,400 Yes, forgive me. 758 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:50,600 Sorry. 759 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,560 There's been an accident at Leonard Maitland's 760 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,840 and the only ambulance in the area is tied up with, erm... 761 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,520 er, whatshername, so I'm gonna have to drive up there myself. 762 00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:00,080 Oh, dear, that sounds serious. Yes, it is. 763 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,120 Will you be back in time for the parade? 764 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,080 Erm, yes, I should be. 765 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,320 Er, but if I'm not... you'll tell James, will you? 766 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,760 It'll be fine. He's fine. Just go. 767 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,760 All OK with the butcher? 768 00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,680 You're not gonna believe me. Toby escaped. 769 00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:31,880 What? 770 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,080 Yeah, so I got to the butcher and then he just sprung out the cage 771 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:36,440 and flew away. 772 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,880 You're right, I don't believe you. 773 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,720 SCREAMING Is that Janice? 774 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,520 God. 775 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:43,920 Come on! 776 00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:52,080 What is it? 777 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,280 Oh, that's really nice. 778 00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:55,440 Nice? 779 00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,640 Someone breaks in and leaves more birds for me 780 00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,600 after the last lot almost blinded me? 781 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,080 It was a tiny scratch. On your hand. 782 00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:05,280 Maybe you should speak to Joe. 783 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,720 I already have. But you know what the police are like. 784 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,080 They've always got more important things to do. 785 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,360 It's just that doves are a symbol, aren't they, of, er, of love? 786 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:14,600 So? 787 00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,400 So maybe speak to Joe. 788 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,440 Uh, I just told you, I already have. 789 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:20,760 Is he feeling OK? 790 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,280 SCREAMING 791 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,480 PHONE RINGING OUT 792 00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:29,680 Mr Maitland? 793 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,680 Can you hear me? 794 00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:35,280 Mr Maitland? 795 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,560 If you can hear me, I'm almost with you. 796 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,560 TURKEY CLUCKS 797 00:39:54,720 --> 00:39:57,480 TURKEY CHATTERS 798 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,200 WIND WHISTLES 799 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,080 HE GROANS 800 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,440 HE MUTTERS 801 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:29,120 RAGGED BREATHING, WIND WHISTLES 802 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,040 ENGINE HISSES 803 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:35,800 HE GROANS 804 00:40:58,360 --> 00:40:59,880 HE YELPS 805 00:40:59,920 --> 00:41:02,040 Argh! 806 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,440 I was just coming to find you. How's your day been? 807 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,240 Terrible. Really? 808 00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,440 What, nothing special happened or...? 809 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,520 Oh, something special happened. That psycho struck again. 810 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,400 He left two more scary birds in the salon. 811 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,280 OK. What type of birds? 812 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:21,960 I don't know, doves or something. 813 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,680 Well, doves are nice. 814 00:41:23,720 --> 00:41:26,680 Doves, pigeons, rats, bats - they're all the same. 815 00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:28,880 When I find out who did this, they're dead. 816 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,640 Well, maybe if you just think about it... 817 00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,080 I am thinking about it! I can't stop, it's driving me nuts. 818 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,080 Look, if you can't be bothered to find out who's stalking me, 819 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,000 then at least go and get rid of them! 820 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,240 Yeah. I promise. I'll-I'll sort it out. 821 00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:49,160 Ho-ho-ho! What do you want for Christmas? 822 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,360 How far away is Leonard Maitland's house? 823 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:55,160 You do realise I'm Santa Claus, not the wonderful Joseph Penh... 824 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,760 It's about 20 minutes. 825 00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,080 It's just Martin drove up there a few hours ago. 826 00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,280 He's still not back and I can't get a hold of him. 827 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,680 Well, signal's terrible up there. The important thing... 828 00:42:03,720 --> 00:42:05,200 Is not to worry. Yes, I know. 829 00:42:05,240 --> 00:42:07,880 The important thing is that Leonard can't play Santa 830 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:09,360 because that's my job now. 831 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,720 And, yes, also not to worry. 832 00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:17,120 TURKEY CHATTERS, WIND WHISTLES 833 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:10,920 ENGINE SPLUTTERS THEN CUTS OUT 834 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,400 RAGGED BREATHING 835 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,320 You always were a fragile child. 836 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:21,800 I'm not one to be critical, but it was rather embarrassing. 837 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:24,480 SHAKILY: Hypothermia. 838 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,120 Hmm? 839 00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:30,560 Oh, I've been out in the cold for nearly two hours 840 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,040 and my body temperature's dropped. 841 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,360 And my pulse rate's decreased. 842 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:37,200 And my pupils are dilated. 843 00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:40,120 My reflexes seem unaffected, though. 844 00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,040 Oh, for goodness' sake. 845 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,800 Can't you even say hello? 846 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:47,080 Erm.. You're not a person. You're a symptom. 847 00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:48,560 SHE SCOFFS 848 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,480 That's a dreadful thing to say to your mother. 849 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:54,720 Hypothermia can lead to disorientation and hallucinations. 850 00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:59,160 You always have an excuse for everything. It's rather tiresome. 851 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:03,040 Right now, my primary concern is to get the engine started 852 00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,200 and the heat on again. 853 00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:08,040 And if you don't manage that? 854 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:11,640 My core temperature could drop to a level 855 00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,960 where it's unable to produce sufficient heat, 856 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:20,240 which ultimately would lead to my vital organs failing and then... 857 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:21,440 Death? 858 00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:23,960 Yes. 859 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,960 How long do you have? 860 00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,240 About an hour. 861 00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:31,760 Maybe less. 862 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,200 That's not helpful. 863 00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:38,160 Oh, Martin! What makes you think I'm here to help? 864 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,000 WIND WHISTLES 865 00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,720 Do you think he'll be upset if you don't make it home? 866 00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:52,080 Who? 867 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:53,760 James. 868 00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,720 I will make it back. 869 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,480 You don't seem that upset about my passing. 870 00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,680 And it's not as if you're a better parent to James. 871 00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:03,160 That's not true. 872 00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,720 He's already begun to resent you, Martin. 873 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:08,880 That's a disease that spreads. 874 00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,920 One that I doubt even you know how to cure. 875 00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,200 How old were you when you realised we didn't love you? 876 00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:20,720 Look what Santa brought. 877 00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,560 'Was it on one of those Christmas Day mornings, 878 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,560 'when you woke up and found us gone? 879 00:45:28,240 --> 00:45:30,200 'You can't blame us, Martin. 880 00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,800 'We were happy before you arrived.' 881 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,120 Hello? 882 00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:41,160 We just wanted to enjoy one special day a year, 883 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:44,000 when we could be free from you. 884 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,520 Be quiet. You're not real. 885 00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,840 Which, on the balance of things, is even more disturbing, isn't it? 886 00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,000 ENGINE STARTS 887 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,240 What a clever boy. 888 00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:56,440 CAR BEEPS, ENGINE STOPS 889 00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,080 Well, maybe not. 890 00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:03,720 What are you doing? 891 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:07,480 My patient is anaemic. I have to make sure that he's safe. 892 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:10,800 You can't go out there. You've already tried and failed. 893 00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:12,400 Then I'll try again. 894 00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:13,840 And you'll freeze to death. 895 00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,680 Now, sit back here and listen with Mother. 896 00:46:17,720 --> 00:46:21,160 Just for the record... I forgive you. 897 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,600 No, you don't. Oh, shut up! 898 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,680 You ready to go to the parade? 899 00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:43,400 Just fixing my beard. 900 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:44,880 HE CHUCKLES 901 00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,040 Do I look OK? 902 00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:49,880 I don't know. I suppose so. 903 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,560 I'm sorry. It's this whole stalker thing. 904 00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:53,920 It's got me all anxious. 905 00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:56,320 It's over, Janice. 906 00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,080 You just have to trust me. 907 00:46:58,120 --> 00:46:59,720 It's all over. 908 00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:06,400 Right, I couldn't get you a partridge. 909 00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:09,120 What I have got you is a pheasant, which is basically 910 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,280 the Rolls Royce of partridges. 911 00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:13,640 Did you not get my message? 912 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:17,280 Yeah. No more birds to the salon. So I've, er, brought it here. 913 00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:18,960 Just "no more birds". 914 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,680 Well, you've paid for them and you're not getting your money back. 915 00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:26,680 Oh, my God. 916 00:47:26,720 --> 00:47:28,200 You're my stalker. 917 00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:32,680 What's wrong with you? Why would you want to torture me like this? 918 00:47:32,720 --> 00:47:34,480 It was meant to be romantic. 919 00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,840 What's romantic about being attacked by chickens? 920 00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:38,680 Not chickens. Hens. 921 00:47:38,720 --> 00:47:43,360 Three Cornish hens because no-one had any French ones. 922 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:46,560 And then two doves and then a pheasant. 923 00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:50,120 Because, apparently, they're the Rolls Royce of partridges. 924 00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:54,040 You know, like the song. 925 00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:57,360 Well, then, why didn't you just tell me, then? 926 00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,240 Because you were upset and... 927 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,640 ..I didn't want to spoil this... 928 00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:08,960 ..this moment. 929 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,960 Oh. 930 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:18,920 I know we've tried and failed before, Janice, but... 931 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:22,000 ..I love you. 932 00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:27,440 Joe, I can't. 933 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:31,040 Oh. OK. 934 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:33,680 OK. That's fine. 935 00:48:33,720 --> 00:48:37,360 I mean the beard. It has to go. 936 00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:42,400 So...? 937 00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:43,600 Yes! 938 00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,000 MOBILE PHONE RINGS 939 00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:53,960 Hello? 940 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,640 Martin, thank goodness. I was so worried. 941 00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,640 BREATHLESSLY: 'I crashed the car.' 942 00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:00,000 Oh, my God. Are you OK? 943 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:02,000 Er, wait a minute. 944 00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,760 Hello? 'I'm here, Martin.' 945 00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,040 I think I have hypothermia. 946 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,880 My, er... my mother... 947 00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,160 Oh, Martin, I know. I'm so sorry. 948 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:12,960 No, she came to visit me. 949 00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:16,200 What? What do you mean? Like, as a ghost? 950 00:49:16,240 --> 00:49:19,760 No, it was a symptom of hypothermia. 951 00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:21,200 She said... 952 00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:23,360 She said I was losing James. 953 00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,000 She wasn't real, though. 954 00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:29,280 I know. But it doesn't mean she wasn't right, though, does it? 955 00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:30,720 Martin, where are you now? 956 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,400 Well, the car wouldn't start and my mother was being annoying, 957 00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:37,400 so I was trying to find Leonard Maitland's house, 958 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:38,800 but I think I'm lost. 959 00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:42,680 OK. You need to go back to the car, yeah, and I'll come and find you. 960 00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:44,840 I'm not entirely sure where I am... 961 00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,680 and I-I don't know where the car is. 962 00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:52,200 'Martin? Martin, I can't hear you.' 963 00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:54,040 I can see light. 964 00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:57,600 No, no, no, that doesn't sound good. Don't go into the light, Martin. 965 00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,840 I think it's Leonard Maitland's house. 966 00:49:59,880 --> 00:50:02,280 All right, in that case, definitely go towards it 967 00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:03,960 and I'll come collect you now. 968 00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,160 No. He needs urgent medical attention. 969 00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:07,480 That's why I'm here. 970 00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,320 Martin, you were just in a crash and you said you had hypothermia. 971 00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,600 I just need to warm up. 972 00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:14,040 I'll be fine. 973 00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:15,840 Really, you're sure? 974 00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,800 Yeah. You can come and get me after the parade. 975 00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:21,320 'Right, just, please, just stay in touch.' 976 00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:23,200 DISCONNECTED TONE 977 00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:42,720 Hold on! 978 00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:49,080 Bloody hell, what happened to you? Come in. 979 00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:51,280 You shouldn't be walking around. 980 00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,480 I had to answer the door, didn't I? 981 00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:00,160 Lie down there and elevate your leg. 982 00:51:06,720 --> 00:51:08,320 You look awful, Doc. 983 00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:12,000 My car came off the road. 984 00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:13,760 I just need to warm up for a bit. 985 00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,520 I would make you a hot drink, but... 986 00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,320 feel free to help yourself. 987 00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:20,800 Thank you. 988 00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:25,200 I'm a bit worried about your blood loss, though. 989 00:51:25,240 --> 00:51:26,840 Let me take your pulse. 990 00:51:31,240 --> 00:51:34,160 Yeah, you don't have a radial pulse. 991 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:36,360 I'll set up a drip and get some fluids into you, 992 00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,720 but first I'll have a look at that wound. 993 00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:41,600 Sorry to drag you up here, Doc. 994 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:45,000 It's Christmas Eve. You should be with your family. 995 00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:46,320 Stop talking. 996 00:51:50,720 --> 00:51:52,480 HE RETCHES 997 00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,640 It's bad, right? 998 00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:58,440 Yes, you've, er, torn a varicose vein. 999 00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,360 That's why you're bleeding so much. 1000 00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:03,520 HE GASPS 1001 00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:09,280 Well, yeah, luckily, he's OK, but it could've been a lot worse. 1002 00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:11,200 Well, that's a relief. 1003 00:52:11,240 --> 00:52:14,200 And don't worry about Mary. I'm more than happy 1004 00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:16,520 to look after her while you're at the parade. 1005 00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:17,960 Oh, that's wonderful. 1006 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:21,160 Oh, hello. I didn't realise you were here. 1007 00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,120 Sal dropped in for some of my eggnog. 1008 00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:26,560 I don't know if the doctor told you? He did. 1009 00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:28,200 Oh. 1010 00:52:28,240 --> 00:52:29,880 Sorry. 1011 00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:32,240 Why, what happened? 1012 00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,440 Oh, it's nothing. Thank you, Ruth. 1013 00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:36,440 Come on, James. It's almost time. 1014 00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,640 I'm going to see Santa. 1015 00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:41,240 Well, tell him I said hello. 1016 00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:42,680 Bye. 1017 00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:48,440 I don't want to pry... 1018 00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:52,000 I may have accidentally tried to kiss the doctor earlier. 1019 00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:53,680 Oh, Sally. 1020 00:52:53,720 --> 00:52:55,680 Well, there was mistletoe. 1021 00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:57,360 And he'd just helped me. 1022 00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:01,800 I had what I thought was a malignant lump in my throat 1023 00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:06,760 and it turned out to be gastroesophageal reflux disease. 1024 00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:10,680 Well, usually, a handshake or "thank you very much" will do. 1025 00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:12,400 And he also... 1026 00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,960 He said that my prolapsed disc was healed 1027 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:17,720 and I don't need to wear my neck brace any more. 1028 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:20,000 But I don't know. I just... 1029 00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:22,640 I can't seem to take it off. 1030 00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:25,000 Would you like me to do it? 1031 00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:32,840 Sorry. 1032 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:34,400 Oh, er... 1033 00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,560 Oh-oh-oh, sorry... 1034 00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:39,520 I-I know it's stupid and it's sentimental, 1035 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:40,880 but, erm... 1036 00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:44,760 ..I will miss it. 1037 00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:49,200 It's a permanent symbol of a medical condition, 1038 00:53:49,240 --> 00:53:53,480 which means it's also a permanent link to a certain doctor 1039 00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:55,640 you may have feelings for. 1040 00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,160 It's not the neck brace you're giving up... 1041 00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:02,440 ..it's Martin. 1042 00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:15,120 Do it. 1043 00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,280 Good girl. Yeah. 1044 00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:21,880 I, no-no... Stay still. 1045 00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:24,080 I-I-I... Oh, oh... There. 1046 00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:45,960 You're right, it's time. 1047 00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:49,360 Yeah. 1048 00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,040 So, you need to rest up. 1049 00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:03,080 No strenuous activity for at least two weeks. 1050 00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,440 No more Santa, then. No. 1051 00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:10,040 Have you worked out what this rash is yet? 1052 00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:12,520 Er, no, I haven't had the results back from your biopsy, 1053 00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:15,440 but I'm fairly certain that it's dermatitis herpetiformis. 1054 00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:18,440 Is it catching? No. 1055 00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:20,680 So there was no need to close the grotto down. 1056 00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:23,320 No, no, precautions were necessary. 1057 00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,080 Anyway, I think it was just a symptom of something bigger. 1058 00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,480 All indicators point towards coeliac disease, 1059 00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:31,800 which is a condition where your immune system 1060 00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:35,040 starts to attack your own tissue when you eat gluten. 1061 00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:39,080 It would certainly explain your low blood iron 1062 00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:41,720 and your stomach issues and your weight loss. 1063 00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:44,640 And your stronger than normal reaction to wheat-based alcohol. 1064 00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:47,880 My body's attacking itself? Bloody heck, that sounds serious. 1065 00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:50,720 Yeah, it is. Yeah. Yeah. Unless you change your diet, 1066 00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:53,160 you run the risk of malabsorption and malnutrition. 1067 00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:55,600 It can be very serious. I'll run some tests. 1068 00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:57,080 Urgent tests? 1069 00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:58,680 Not this minute, no. 1070 00:55:58,720 --> 00:56:01,480 Great, so I can drive you back to the village now, 1071 00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,120 seeing as I'm not contagious. 1072 00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:04,440 Ah, no, that won't be necessary. 1073 00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,480 Louisa's coming to collect me after the parade. 1074 00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:08,320 After the parade? 1075 00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:10,720 Doc, it's Christmas Eve. 1076 00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:13,480 I'm more than grateful, you risking yourself, 1077 00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:16,560 coming up here and stitching me up, but you should be with your family. 1078 00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:18,880 Yes, now I appreciate that, but I need to be thorough. 1079 00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,280 Doc... 1080 00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,560 I hate Christmas. I always have. 1081 00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,800 What do you mean? 1082 00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,040 See, my wife loved it. 1083 00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:32,400 I was only ever Santa to please her. 1084 00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,320 And to be honest, I still couldn't stand it. 1085 00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:38,480 I'd moan, complain, you know how it is. 1086 00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:45,200 Then, five years ago, she died. December the 23rd, without warning. 1087 00:56:45,240 --> 00:56:48,200 Yes, I remember, it was very sad. 1088 00:56:48,240 --> 00:56:51,600 After that, putting on the beard, the suit, 1089 00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:54,520 becoming someone else for a while, well, it was an escape. 1090 00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:01,480 And once I stopped fighting it, I started to get it. 1091 00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:05,440 Making toys for the kids, giving folk some happy memories... 1092 00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:10,040 it's... it's a privilege, Doc. An honour. 1093 00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:13,560 I just wish I'd understood that when she was still alive. 1094 00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:19,880 Yes, well, erm... I'm sorry, you'll have to wait until next year now. 1095 00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:22,520 And is that your plan? 1096 00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:24,280 Wait until next year 1097 00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:27,080 and MAYBE celebrate Christmas with your family then? 1098 00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:29,240 I had an emergency to attend to. 1099 00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:30,840 And now the emergency's over. 1100 00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:32,200 Er, yeah, well, even if I... 1101 00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:34,920 Even if I... I mean, it's just... It'll be just too late now. 1102 00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:36,760 It wouldn't be too late if you left right now. 1103 00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:38,800 I still have to run those tests on you. 1104 00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:40,280 The tests can wait. 1105 00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:44,640 You're avoiding your family 1106 00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:47,200 because you don't want to ruin things for them. 1107 00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,920 Do you wanna know what the true magic of Christmas is? 1108 00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:55,720 It's being exactly who you are, 1109 00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:57,960 but, still, your family want you around, 1110 00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,360 even if you are an irritating bugger. 1111 00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:03,640 That truly is a miracle. 1112 00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:08,520 And sometimes we don't know how lucky we are until it's too late. 1113 00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:15,840 The only way you can ruin their Christmas is by not being there. 1114 00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:21,120 Yes, I see what you mean. 1115 00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:23,440 Great. Now, it's gonna be cold out there, 1116 00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:24,840 so we'll need to wrap up. 1117 00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,480 You're not coming. You need to recuperate and rest that leg. 1118 00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:29,680 Doc, it's Christmas Eve. I have plans. 1119 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,280 Absolutely not. I'm the one with the wheels. 1120 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:35,440 Either we go together, or we don't go at all. 1121 00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:49,120 Here we go. I've got some spares. 1122 00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:52,000 As I was saying, it'll be cold, 1123 00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:54,200 on account of there being no windscreen. 1124 00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:55,280 What? 1125 00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:59,120 Maybe better I just show you, Doc. 1126 00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:06,320 Really?! 1127 00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:10,080 Mind out, it's Santa coming through. It's Santa coming through. 1128 00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:12,400 Attention, please. 1129 00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:16,160 Attention, everyone. The parade is about to begin. 1130 00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:17,640 CHEERING 1131 00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:20,920 But before we begin, I'd like to make a little speech. 1132 00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:22,440 This is boring! I'm cold. 1133 00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:23,800 Ten years ago... 1134 00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,160 Santa? Maybe we could just, you know, begin? 1135 00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:29,280 Well, we'll begin when Santa says so. 1136 00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,000 All those in favour of starting the parade, say aye! 1137 00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:33,720 ALL:AYE! 1138 00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:36,080 OK, everybody behind me, stay in formation! 1139 00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:38,440 What about Daddy? 1140 00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:41,360 Yeah, he said he really wanted to be here, but... 1141 00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:44,840 Don't worry about Daddy, little man. Santa's here now. 1142 00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:49,520 Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas! 1143 00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:53,200 Merry Christmas, everyone! 1144 00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:55,480 Ho-ho-ho! What the...? 1145 00:59:55,520 --> 00:59:58,440 Sit down! Your leg! You'll burst the stitches. 1146 00:59:58,480 --> 00:59:59,920 Keep your eyes on the road. 1147 00:59:59,960 --> 01:00:05,040 Merry Christmas, everybody! 1148 01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:07,840 Presents for everyone! Martin?! 1149 01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:09,800 Hello. 1150 01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:14,320 Merry Christmas! Ho-ho-ho! 1151 01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:16,520 Merry Christmas! Put your seatbelt on. 1152 01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:19,560 Come on, Doc! All right. 1153 01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:23,200 CHEERING 1154 01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:26,320 All together now! Ho-ho-ho! 1155 01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:28,360 PARADERS:# Jingle all the way 1156 01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:33,200 # Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh, hey! 1157 01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:37,240 # Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way 1158 01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:40,280 # Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse... # 1159 01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:43,360 Told you I'd show you the magic of Christmas, didn't I? 1160 01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:46,880 Er, yes. Yes, you did, yes. But take it easy. Stay here. 1161 01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:48,680 Best seat in the house, Doc. Yeah. 1162 01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:51,040 Mummy! Did you enjoy that? Did you? 1163 01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:56,560 Well, that was quite an entrance. I wanted to be here on time. 1164 01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,280 Daddy! 1165 01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:04,200 Did you enjoy that? Yes! 1166 01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,360 There we go, my love, you take care now. 1167 01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:13,200 I thought I said no sky lanterns. 1168 01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:15,920 During the parade, yes. But the parade's over now. 1169 01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:19,120 Oh, come on. It's Christmas, everybody's enjoying themselves. 1170 01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:20,480 No means no! 1171 01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:23,480 You know what, you're a great Santa. 1172 01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:27,440 Really? Best we've ever had. 1173 01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,440 Well, I suppose you have already given them out, haven't you? 1174 01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:34,560 So... Here, go on. On the house. 1175 01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:37,200 Thanks. Merry Christmas, Bert. 1176 01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:39,080 And Merry Christmas to you, too. 1177 01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:44,880 OK. I believe you. The turkey escaped. 1178 01:01:44,920 --> 01:01:48,320 I let it go. Oh, I knew it, Mor. I knew it. 1179 01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:50,200 I'm sorry. 1180 01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:54,440 I think I was just feeling a bit broody and hormonal. 1181 01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:56,400 Right, yeah. 1182 01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:59,160 You know, because of the baby. 1183 01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,120 What, the... the baby turkey? 1184 01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:07,240 No. What, er...? 1185 01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:15,840 I was gonna wait till Christmas Day to tell you, but, erm... 1186 01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:17,720 surprise! 1187 01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:20,200 Baby. 1188 01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,120 Yeah, a baby... What? 1189 01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:25,120 Our baby. Oh, Mor! Mor! 1190 01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,240 We're getting married. Again. 1191 01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:32,720 Congratulations, again! Can I tell 'em? 1192 01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:37,440 We're having a baby! Oh, it's not a competition, Al. 1193 01:02:37,480 --> 01:02:40,160 Well... Congratulations! 1194 01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:45,720 Here, take this. 1195 01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:50,280 You know, some people, when they light these lanterns, 1196 01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:52,240 they like to dedicate them to people. 1197 01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:56,680 Absent friends or family... or maybe someone they've lost. 1198 01:02:58,480 --> 01:03:01,000 I'm not sure if my mother would appreciate a lantern. 1199 01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:04,400 It's not for her, Martin. 1200 01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:25,200 Thank you. 1201 01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,040 I love you. 1202 01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:33,320 I love you, too, Martin. 1203 01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:41,120 Hang on! 1204 01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:42,880 That one, where's it going? 1205 01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:45,520 Is that your lantern burning up? 1206 01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:50,240 Yeah, it looks like it's falling. 1207 01:03:50,280 --> 01:03:53,880 As long as the wind doesn't catch it and it lands in the sea. 1208 01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:57,880 I think it's coming this way. 1209 01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:05,920 Oh, that's bad. Oh, dear. 1210 01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:10,440 Erm, sorry. Sorry, everybody, but I, er... 1211 01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:12,480 James! 1212 01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,480 Martin! James! James, come here. 1213 01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:19,800 Where's Penhale? Penhale, call the fire brigade! 1214 01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:22,560 Everybody, stand back. Stand back! 1215 01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:28,800 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com 124618

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.