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1
00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:06,850
12th Precinct.
2
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:08,251
Detective Sergeant
Amenguale speaking.
3
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:11,421
No, ma'am, I'm sorry,
but we can't trace them.
4
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,056
You see, there's
very little we can do
5
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,225
about obscene phone calls.
6
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,726
No, ma'am.
7
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,428
No, ma'am.
8
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,819
Would you watch your
language, please, ma'am?
9
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,701
This is going to drive me crazy.
10
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:27,937
26 calls in two weeks.
11
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,773
That's some dirty guy.
12
00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:31,941
We got him down.
13
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,043
The attempted suicide?
14
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:34,544
Yeah. Huh.
15
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,913
Just dropped him off at
Bellevue. Psycho ward.
16
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:38,348
Where's Fish? He's coming.
17
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,683
The guy wanted
to jump off the roof,
18
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,086
and there's no
elevator in the building.
19
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:47,646
Old Fish had to climb
nine flights of stairs.
20
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,329
12 years ago, I said,
21
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,898
"Put an elevator
in this precinct."
22
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:58,068
Five years ago, I said it again.
23
00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:00,937
Last year. I even
offered to pay for it.
24
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:01,938
How do you feel?
25
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,641
I feel fine. It's my legs.
26
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:10,347
I must've been a breech baby.
My feet are older than I am.
27
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,815
Listen, if you were going to
make obscene phone calls,
28
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,484
now, would you make
them from one location
29
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:15,885
or from a variety of locations?
30
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,989
I'd rather have someone
else make them for me.
31
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:23,826
Yemana, you chase a
suspect into a residence.
32
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,163
You have no warrant
for search and entry,
33
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,432
but you know evidence
is about to be destroyed
34
00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:29,466
inside.
35
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:30,833
Do you hold off,
36
00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:33,437
or do you go in and make
an arrest and take a chance
37
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:34,938
of violating the
suspect's rights?
38
00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:36,440
Honeyspot by Olden Times.
39
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:37,474
What?
40
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:41,010
Look, six pounds
off, blinkers on,
41
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:43,846
with the finest grass
jockey in the country.
42
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,182
I bet her.
43
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:46,683
The little lady next to me says,
44
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:49,719
"Hey, there's a gray horse
with a girl jockey in blue.
45
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,621
My two favorite colors."
46
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,090
She wins. I lose.
47
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:54,224
Come on, Yemana,
48
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,692
I'm trying to pass
my test for sergeant.
49
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:56,826
Are you going to help me?
50
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,049
Yeah, don't go in.
51
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,933
Well, well, well, the
same old melting pot.
52
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,935
The 12th Precinct never changes.
53
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,504
Hello, Kelly. How are things?
54
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:10,873
How are you doing,
Fish? Staying healthy?
55
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:14,944
I'm every bit as good a
shape as I was yesterday.
56
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,880
"Boney diese," Chano.
57
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:21,251
Jose Feliciano.
58
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,974
Pretty good, thanks.
59
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,923
Hey, hey, hey, Wojo, wait
a minute, wait a minute.
60
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,725
I got a great new
Polack joke for you.
61
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,482
Wonderful.
62
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:34,731
You heard it?
63
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,299
Hey, hey, Yemana,
64
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,700
you'd better stay
out of the sun.
65
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:40,670
You're starting to turn beige.
66
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:46,976
Hey, there's a color
missing around here.
67
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,111
Where's Wilson and Harris?
68
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:50,280
They've got a day off.
69
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,904
There's a minstrel show in town.
70
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:56,386
What are you doing
downtown, Kelly?
71
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:57,754
I thought you was in Narcotics.
72
00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,757
Oh, I'm too sensitive
for that kind of filthy work.
73
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,225
I'm in Internal Affairs now.
74
00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:03,627
Oh, you're a spy.
75
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,263
Yeah, some people
might look at it that way,
76
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,453
them that's got
something to hide, anyhow.
77
00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:10,933
Hello, Kelly.
78
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:12,001
What are you doing here?
79
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,858
Making friends.
80
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:16,973
How do you like Narcotics?
81
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:20,544
They haven't helped him a bit.
82
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,546
Kelly's been promoted.
83
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,748
Yeah, he's a snooper now.
84
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:26,816
Internal Affairs?
85
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,751
Can we talk?
86
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:29,986
What about?
87
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,076
Graft.
88
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,335
Come on in my office.
89
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,681
Internal Affairs
is very concerned
90
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:34,584
about police officers
being paid off, Barney.
91
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,653
Internal Affairs has
always been concerned
92
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,255
about police officers
being paid off.
93
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,822
What's it got to do with us?
94
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,424
Some very disturbing information
95
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,059
is coming across my desk
96
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,527
about cops on the take.
97
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:45,928
"Palms-up precincts."
98
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,830
You know what I'm talking about.
99
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,266
Would you like a cup of coffee?
100
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,267
Oh, no, thanks.
101
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,769
How about a punch in the mouth?
102
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,003
Don't take offense, Barney.
103
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,171
Gee, you guys are thin-skinned
104
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,172
down here.
105
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,007
Okay, Kelly, no pussyfooting.
106
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,310
You've got any
accusations, spit it out.
107
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,312
I'm not saying anybody's
getting rich, Barney.
108
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:03,380
It's just the...
109
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,481
the general knick-knacking.
110
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:05,615
Knick-knacking?
111
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,016
There's not a
man in this precinct
112
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,618
that has ever taken a
dime from anybody...
113
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,052
Hey, hey, take it easy.
114
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:11,254
And I resent the implication.
115
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:12,355
Now, you've got any
evidence, get it up,
116
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:13,657
or else get the
hell out of here.
117
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,358
The division of
internal affairs...
118
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:16,993
And don't pull division on me.
119
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:20,330
It wasn't two months ago
you were working on my squad.
120
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,432
You never did like me, did you?
121
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,533
No.
122
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:26,135
You're looking for
honesty? You found honesty.
123
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,704
Because I'm Irish, right?
124
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,906
Because you're always coming
up with the wrong answers,
125
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,040
like that one,
126
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,041
and now you're
letting a little authority
127
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,042
go to your head.
128
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,544
Hey, now, wait a minute, Barney.
129
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,579
I always do my job
the best I know how,
130
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,581
and I'm going to keep
on doing it that way,
131
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:39,982
no matter where it takes me,
132
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,484
from the smallest precinct
133
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,386
right up to the
commissioner's office.
134
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,188
You're not going to find
anything around here, Kelly.
135
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,956
Oh, clean as a
whistle, huh, Barn?
136
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:50,794
No, not if you're
talking about a newsboy
137
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,562
who, out of the
goodness of his heart,
138
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,631
throws in an afternoon
paper every day.
139
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,165
The division of internal affairs
140
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,400
is interested in any gratuity,
141
00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,569
no matter how big or how small.
142
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:00,770
Okay, Kelly, you
made your point,
143
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,339
but we've got a
lot of work to do
144
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,741
around here, so do me a favor.
145
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,576
Get your big fat
butt out of here.
146
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,610
I always liked
147
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:08,778
chewing the fat with you, Barn.
148
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,046
I'll be looking in on you.
149
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,336
Nice to see you again, fellows.
150
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,891
I'd rather be respected
than liked any day.
151
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,261
Hey, Barney, what
the hell is going on?
152
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,230
A little witch hunt.
153
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,699
Kelly is our local inquisitor,
154
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,334
so if any of you
guys got anything
155
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:32,969
you don't want Internal
Affairs to know about,
156
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,136
you'd better give it back.
157
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,805
Are you kidding?
158
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,608
I could add up everything
I got since I've been a cop
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00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:39,976
on one finger,
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00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,801
and you know
which finger that is...
161
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,184
The little one.
162
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,453
Hey, Barney, is that
creep really insinuating
163
00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:52,054
we've been taking
payoffs around here?
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00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:55,091
To Kelly, a payoff could be
an apple from a fruit stand.
165
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,026
He's just trying to make points.
166
00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:00,096
You know what they say
about a little power corrupting,
167
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:04,000
but... just in case,
everybody be careful.
168
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,835
Be careful of what?
169
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,670
Hey, I never take a vacation.
170
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:11,073
I live in one room. I
do my own cooking.
171
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,241
I appreciate that.
172
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,342
I even wash my own socks.
173
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,446
I appreciate that.
174
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,948
Makes a guy feel like saying,
175
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,450
"To hell with being sergeant."
176
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:23,052
All right, all right,
just take it easy.
177
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,622
I've got to go catch
a dirty phone caller,
178
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,424
and if I get anybody,
179
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:30,059
I'm going to give him
Kelly's telephone number.
180
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:34,096
Everybody, just...
Business as usual.
181
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,799
Just go on doing what
you've been doing.
182
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,567
Don't worry about
Internal Affairs.
183
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,736
Don't worry about Kelly,
184
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,573
who will be watching
us night and day.
185
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:47,799
Here's your late edition,
compliments of the publisher.
186
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:07,418
Hello. I'm home... Whoo-hoo.
187
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:10,388
Hello.
188
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,637
And I'm in a rotten mood.
189
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,706
Oh.
190
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,708
Well, I have enough good mood
191
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,443
for the both of us.
192
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,467
How was your day?
193
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,446
Swell.
194
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:25,181
Oh, that good, huh?
195
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,182
I'll fix you a drink.
196
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,784
What for?
197
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,085
Well, you usually have a drink
198
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,286
when you get home from dinner.
199
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,888
Just because I
usually have a drink
200
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:34,123
does not mean that I
have to have a drink
201
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,324
when I get home from dinner.
202
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,325
What am I, an alcoholic?
203
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,060
I don't think so.
204
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,696
I do not need a drink.
205
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,598
Fine, no drink.
206
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,065
Where's the ice?
207
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:45,189
In the oven.
208
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,237
And the children?
209
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:52,475
Oh, well, David's sleeping
over. Rachel's at a film festival.
210
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:53,943
It's part of a
theater arts course.
211
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:56,045
Oh, another film festival.
212
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,313
Colleges have no
consideration... What?
213
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,916
That squint. She's
going to develop a squint.
214
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,184
All right, Barney,
215
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,921
do you want to talk about it?
216
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,489
You know I never
discuss police business
217
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,024
at home.
218
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,592
I know.
219
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:10,693
You would think,
220
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,962
you would think
that Internal Affairs
221
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,697
has better things
to do with its time,
222
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:15,698
wouldn't you?
223
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,400
Yes, I would think so.
224
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,235
And what a beauty
they picked to do it.
225
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,137
Right, right.
226
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,705
Who?
227
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:23,873
Kelly.
228
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,174
Kelly.
229
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,758
It's like putting a gun
in the hands of a baby.
230
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,947
What are you looking at?
231
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:31,981
I'm thinking
232
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,583
that you don't discuss
police business
233
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:34,884
the way you don't drink.
234
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:39,455
A man has to drink
and talk with someone.
235
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:44,694
Oh... I'm flattered
that you've picked me.
236
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,896
Isn't Kelly the one
you told me about
237
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,397
who wears his shoulder holster
238
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,022
over his pajamas?
239
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:53,536
That's the one.
240
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,804
Now you know what
I'm worried about.
241
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,238
I thought you got rid of him.
242
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,707
I did.
243
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,976
That's the trouble with
trying to get rid of the garbage.
244
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,679
Somebody's always
trying to recycle it.
245
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,915
Now he's an espionage
agent for Internal Affairs.
246
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,451
Well, forget about him.
247
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,019
You are going to
feel much better
248
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,187
after dinner.
249
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,455
Look.
250
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:15,157
We have filet mignon
with mushroom caps.
251
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,760
Leftovers? We had
filet mignon last night.
252
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:21,086
We're starting all over.
These are brand-new steaks.
253
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:26,002
Isn't that a little extravagant?
254
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,738
The children know
we're eating this well?
255
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,907
It's all in knowing how to shop.
256
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:34,276
I got these steaks
for a $1.48 a pound.
257
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,747
They must be factory seconds.
258
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,850
The secret is in
knowing a butcher
259
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:44,220
who is crazy about
the way you walk.
260
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,188
It brings special
considerations.
261
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,491
I've watched you walk.
262
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,558
I've never given you
263
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,227
any special consideration.
264
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:55,820
You don't think I walk for you
the way I walk for a butcher?
265
00:10:57,223 --> 00:11:00,302
Never forget you're
the wife of a policeman.
266
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,705
I'm not supposed to
be obligated to anyone.
267
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:06,208
Well, the mailman
doesn't feel that way.
268
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:09,145
Every Christmas, we give
him a bottle of whiskey.
269
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:13,215
Its the only reason we
get our mail once in a while.
270
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,817
This isn't Christmas.
271
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,887
Okay, so we get a little
meat all through the year.
272
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,123
Would you be happy if
the butcher gave us a cow
273
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,125
in December?
274
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:24,894
This is just the sort of
thing Kelly is looking for.
275
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,196
He can stir up a
lot of trouble for me
276
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,731
over a little thing like that.
277
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:31,768
Barney, Mr. D'Amato
is a lovely man.
278
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,937
He's not doing this
because you're a policeman.
279
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,939
He's doing this
because we are friends,
280
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:38,975
because we are fellow citizens,
281
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:42,078
and because he thinks
I'm a lovely hunk of woman.
282
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:45,648
It doesn't matter
why he's doing it.
283
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,383
The point is I'm a cop.
284
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:49,351
Now, if I were a tailor,
nobody would care,
285
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,753
but I am a cop,
286
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:52,789
and a policeman
has to be careful
287
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,757
about accepting
any sort of gratuity.
288
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:58,249
You want me to
throw out the steaks?
289
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,566
As long as they're here...
290
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,968
I could grind them
into hamburgers
291
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,171
so they won't be traced.
292
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,972
Liz, I know
293
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:11,540
it sounds ridiculous.
294
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,475
These are perilous times,
295
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:14,811
so until Kelly
296
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,445
finds something better
to do with his time,
297
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,447
please, no more knick-knacks.
298
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,749
Knick-knacks?
299
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,518
Just a police expression.
300
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,687
Just don't take any
favors from anybody,
301
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,255
no matter how
trivial they may seem.
302
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,091
I suppose
303
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,827
that applies to free tickets?
304
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:31,851
To the theater?
305
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:34,233
To Bermuda.
306
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,133
Free tickets to Bermuda?
What are you talking about?
307
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,802
I'm talking about
a little knick-knack
308
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:41,003
from our travel agent.
309
00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,638
How can he give
away a thing like that?
310
00:12:42,662 --> 00:12:44,107
Because he gets two free tickets
311
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:45,108
every year,
312
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,175
and every year, he goes,
313
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,010
and this year, he's not going.
314
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,078
What I don't understand
315
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,713
is why is he giving them to us?
316
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:51,881
Barney,
317
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,950
he doesn't want
anything from you.
318
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,251
He knows you're a policeman.
319
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,552
He appreciates the fact
320
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,587
that you lay your
life on the line for him
321
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,022
every single day of the year.
322
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,724
It's just his way of saying
323
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,492
he's sick of Bermuda.
324
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:07,463
Liz, we can't
accept those tickets.
325
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,831
The way things are,
326
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,335
with Kelly just
looking for trouble...
327
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,793
We're going to the mountains.
328
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:24,680
Well... I suppose you're right,
329
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,483
but what really annoys
me is to see a man
330
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,652
who has devoted
20 years of his life
331
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,053
to the police department,
332
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:33,189
a man who has never
compromised his integrity,
333
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:36,458
a man who has never
taken anything from anyone,
334
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,527
to see that man
335
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,862
suddenly looking
over his shoulder
336
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:41,998
and denying himself
a lovely opportunity
337
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:45,101
offered by a grateful
citizen and a friend
338
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,903
is shameful and unjust.
339
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,637
I'm grateful, thank you.
340
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,996
It's just my way of saying,
"I'm sick of the mountains."
341
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:03,986
Fish.
342
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,922
Fish, listen.
343
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,291
In the event a prisoner
is being extradited
344
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:11,427
from the county of one state
to the county of another state,
345
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,595
and such extradition
papers have been presented
346
00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:16,065
to the police officer in
charge of the extradition,
347
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,266
when the prisoner is delivered
348
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,667
in the county of
the second state,
349
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:19,802
signed for and released
350
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,871
by the receiving police officer,
351
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:23,206
is it necessary
352
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,606
for the extraditing
police officer
353
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:26,408
to file in the county
of the first state
354
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,910
copies of the extradition papers
355
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:29,511
that have been given
to the police officer
356
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,880
in the county of
the second state?
357
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,703
Good morning.
358
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,118
What do you think?
359
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,387
I stopped in to buy
a new pair of shoes
360
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,722
this morning.
361
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:42,124
What did you get?
362
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,560
I didn't get nothing.
363
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,262
They had my size,
364
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,752
but they didn't have my shape.
365
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:50,867
They tried
366
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:54,070
to talk me into buying
a new type of shoes
367
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:57,561
where the toes are
higher than the heels.
368
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,277
I said to the guy,
369
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,779
"I can't walk like that.
370
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:04,914
"I'll tip over
371
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:07,838
and land on the
back of my head."
372
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:14,156
Look at this exacta at
Aqueduct. 800 bucks.
373
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:16,025
Why do they make everything
374
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,326
so damned difficult?
375
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,096
Number three and number
four. I always bet my age.
376
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,298
You're not 34.
377
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:25,968
I was when I won my last exacta.
378
00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:28,470
Yemana, why don't you
put that damn thing away?
379
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,738
What did I do?
380
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:34,743
All you ever do is bet on
horses or the football game
381
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,913
or basketball game
or some crap game.
382
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,382
You left out jai alai.
383
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:42,385
Very funny.
384
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,786
If you tried busting bookies
385
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,788
instead of calling them on
the telephone all the time,
386
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,556
maybe we wouldn't
have a yard bird like Kelly
387
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:49,425
sneaking up our
keisters all the time.
388
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:52,828
We have nothing
to fear but fear itself.
389
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:55,564
Go fry a noodle.
390
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:58,722
That's beneath you.
391
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:05,641
It's always me that's
doing something wrong.
392
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:09,845
"What'd you say this for,
Wojo?" "That's out of line, Wojo."
393
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:13,149
Nobody says that
about you, Wojo.
394
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:17,320
"How come Fish had to climb
up nine flights of stairs, Wojo?"
395
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:20,489
That was out of line, Wojo.
396
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:23,525
See, it's always somebody
397
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:26,128
beefing about
something I've done.
398
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,164
I wish I was back
out on the streets
399
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,498
in uniform again.
400
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,067
If you're worried
about dirty marks
401
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,401
on your laundry,
402
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,292
maybe Kelly can accommodate you.
403
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:40,565
What's going on?
404
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,202
Nothing.
405
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,482
What happened?
406
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,916
Nothing, Barney.
407
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,685
They were discussing Kelly.
408
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:52,421
Good morning.
409
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,789
You're late.
410
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,258
I interviewed a lot
of women last night
411
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,394
who got dirty phone calls.
412
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,530
I had to take down
all the conversations.
413
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:04,166
I got names. I got addresses.
414
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,435
I also got excited.
415
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:09,038
You want me to
type up these reports?
416
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,539
Maybe you'd
better let Fish do it.
417
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:11,540
Good.
418
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,608
You know, these guys
419
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:13,942
who make dirty phone calls
420
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,444
got to be very lonely people.
421
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,645
They spend so much time
422
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:17,813
talking on the telephone,
423
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,281
they never get to meet anybody.
424
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:22,184
I wish he'd start
writing dirty letters.
425
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,952
Then the post office
could worry about him.
426
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:28,257
12th Precinct.
427
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,658
Yeah, he'll be here.
428
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,527
Thanks.
429
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,362
Kelly's on his way over.
430
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,463
He wanted to make sure
431
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:35,797
you were here.
432
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:37,433
Thanks.
433
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,668
Hey, Barney, you think
Kelly is just a big mouth,
434
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,837
or is he really going
to try to make trouble?
435
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:44,006
I think Kelly is
just a big mouth
436
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,008
who's really going
to try to make trouble.
437
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,710
He's probably after me.
438
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,012
Kelly's always had a thing
439
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:53,115
about Orientals being
on the police force.
440
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:56,107
He says we screw up the look
of the Saint Patrick's Day parade.
441
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:04,726
Kelly is after someone
in a position of authority.
442
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:05,961
He's looking for somebody
443
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,129
who's been doing
a little chiseling
444
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,932
under the table, or
somebody whose wife
445
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,100
has been doing
a little chiseling
446
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,101
under the table.
447
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,569
No, no, that isn't it.
448
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,671
He's probably been
snooping around
449
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,339
into our personnel files
450
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:18,807
and came up with
something really big.
451
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,042
Like what?
452
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,244
Like the fact I cheated
on my income tax.
453
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,547
When was that?
454
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:25,948
About nine, ten years ago,
455
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:28,584
I went to a police
convention in San Francisco,
456
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:31,420
and I deducted all the
expenses for Bernice.
457
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,955
There's nothing
illegal about that.
458
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,313
Yes, there is. I
didn't take Bernice.
459
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:39,495
Did the I.R.S.
find out about it?
460
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:40,896
Yeah, they disallowed it.
461
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,331
They took it out the next year.
462
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:43,732
Well, if you're straight
with the government,
463
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:44,800
Kelly can't hurt you.
464
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:45,934
I'm not worried about Kelly.
465
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,971
I'm worried about Bernice.
466
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:50,206
I think Kelly
467
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,941
is on to something
international...
468
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,276
He's after me.
469
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,479
What did you do?
470
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:57,879
Me? I didn't do anything,
471
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:59,081
but my brother-in-law
472
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:01,117
is in New York
illegally from Argentina.
473
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,351
Where is he?
474
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:05,787
He's hiding in the
cellar of a condemned,
475
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:09,258
rat-infested building
on the West Side,
476
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,415
right across the street from me.
477
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,263
Well, you'd better
do something about it
478
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:15,664
before immigration finds out.
479
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,099
Well, I told him,
480
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:19,034
"Hey, you've got to go
back to South America,
481
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,136
"get a visa,
482
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,604
"then come back
to the United States,
483
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,805
"to New York," take the test,
484
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,608
and then become a
citizen of the United States."
485
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,075
What did he say to that?
486
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,733
He don't think it's worth it.
487
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,237
Hi, Barney.
488
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:37,119
Good morning.
489
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,621
I have a confession to make,
490
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,489
and I... I think
491
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:41,757
you all should hear it.
492
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:44,627
Maybe we should
start lighting candles.
493
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,517
This is serious.
494
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,467
Three years ago,
495
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:55,671
when I took the test for
detective, third-grade,
496
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,728
I wrote some
answers on my shirt.
497
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,034
Well, they were
important answers.
498
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:09,285
If Kelly's after my badge, I...
499
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:14,323
I'd rather turn it in than
have him put the arm on me,
500
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:17,215
so I'm going down
to Internal Affairs.
501
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:23,031
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
502
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:26,968
This is some exciting
group we've got here.
503
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:29,838
A little fooling
around on an exam,
504
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,641
a little fooling around
in San Francisco.
505
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,543
I'm beginning to
feel sorry for Kelly.
506
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,612
I mean, this is a pretty
measly bunch of skeletons
507
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,414
he found in this closet.
508
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:42,017
All right, gentlemen, we
have all purged our souls.
509
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:43,652
Life goes on.
510
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,821
Huh?
511
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:49,958
Yemana, that's a police
phone, not a racing wire,
512
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,193
and Chano,
513
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,595
see if you can convince
your brother-in-law
514
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,830
there's still some hope for us.
515
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:58,200
Uh, Wojo, when you
take that sergeant exam,
516
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,236
wear a clean shirt.
517
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:04,128
Fish... Don't waste a warning.
518
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,678
You know what really annoys me?
519
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:14,516
What really gets me is to
see basically honest men,
520
00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:18,820
who have devoted their
lives to the police department,
521
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:22,190
intimidated and looking
over their shoulders.
522
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,526
It is shameful and unjust.
523
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:27,563
Thank you, Barney.
524
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:28,830
What's more,
525
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:31,600
I'm going to tell that
to Internal Affairs
526
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:34,358
as soon as I come
back from Bermuda.
527
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,248
Ahem.
528
00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:49,072
Patrolman Kelly
reporting for duty.
529
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,288
For an undercover cop,
530
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,844
that's a pretty dumb disguise.
531
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,195
What are you doing in uniform?
532
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:01,363
It's my payoff
533
00:22:01,387 --> 00:22:03,165
for devotion to the department.
534
00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:06,234
I followed those investigations,
Barney, like I told you,
535
00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:08,637
right up to the top, right
into the inner sanctum,
536
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:09,938
the commissioner's office.
537
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:11,607
There it was...
538
00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:15,444
Nepotism, favoritism,
rake-offs on meat.
539
00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:17,313
Man, I was sure
540
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:19,080
I was in line for a gold badge.
541
00:22:19,104 --> 00:22:20,482
What did they give me?
542
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,150
A blue suit.
543
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,320
Here I am, right back
at the old one-two.
544
00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:25,554
You mean they reassigned you
545
00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:26,555
here?
546
00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:27,823
Yeah. How about that?
547
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:30,759
Hey, Barn, no
hard feelings, huh?
548
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:35,018
Hey, fellows,
still friends, huh?
549
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:41,325
Nice to know they
still respect me.
550
00:22:44,564 --> 00:22:47,631
Here's the free late edition,
compliments of the publisher.
551
00:22:59,746 --> 00:23:02,725
Take it easy. Yemana,
I wasn't making book.
552
00:23:02,749 --> 00:23:04,192
Uh, thanks, officer.
553
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,027
I'll take over from here.
554
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,063
I was just standing around.
555
00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:09,097
I swear.
556
00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:10,466
What are they busting me for?
557
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:12,234
Convenience.
558
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:13,235
Whose?
559
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:14,302
Mine.
560
00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:17,194
I promised I'd
lay off the phone.
561
00:23:27,673 --> 00:23:28,917
"I pledge allegiance
562
00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:31,720
to the flag of the United
States of America..."
563
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:32,721
Fish? Yeah?
564
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:33,865
Check this out, will you?
565
00:23:42,455 --> 00:23:43,532
You all right?
566
00:23:43,556 --> 00:23:45,834
Yeah, why?
567
00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:48,203
You look like you're
going to fall over.
568
00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:50,528
It's my new shoes.
569
00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:55,332
Hey, Barney?
570
00:23:57,336 --> 00:23:59,882
Hey, if a police
officer loses his badge,
571
00:23:59,906 --> 00:24:02,250
does he report
it to his superior
572
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,952
or just wait until
somebody turns it in?
573
00:24:03,976 --> 00:24:06,688
He reports it to
his superior officer.
574
00:24:06,712 --> 00:24:08,579
I lost my badge.
37629
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