Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:03,804
"LAST MAN STANDING" IS RECORDED
2
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,706
IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
3
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:06,907
Mike: HEY, BABE.
HEY.
4
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,510
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
OH, NOTHING. I'M JUST --
5
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,545
I'M JUST RIGHT ON THAT
LATE-AFTERNOON FENCE.
6
00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:13,181
DO I HAVE ANOTHER
CUP OF COFFEE
7
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,583
OR JUST SAY, "SCREW IT," AND
POUR MY FIRST GLASS OF WINE?
8
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:16,817
TOUGH ONE.
9
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,186
WELL, WHICH WAY
DO YOU LOVE ME MORE --
10
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,987
A LITTLE JITTERY
AND CHATTY
11
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,224
OR PASSED OUT AND DROOLING
BY 8:30?
12
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:24,525
I LOVE YOU BOTH WAYS.
13
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,999
[ CHUCKLES ]
14
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,334
HOW WAS WORK?
15
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,535
BUSTING OUR HUMP.
16
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,105
SEASONAL CHANGEOVER.
BOOGIE BOARDS TO SNOWBOARDS.
17
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,106
HMM.
18
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:39,940
THANK GOD
FOR THE YEAR-ROUND APPEAL
19
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,110
OF RIFLES AND AMMUNITION.
20
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:45,346
SO, WHAT DO WE GOT
GOING ON OVER HERE?
21
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,215
OH, I'M JUST HEATING UP
SOME SpaghettiOs.
22
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,950
MY GRANDSON'S HERE?
23
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,585
[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT AM I DOING
TALKING TO YOU?
24
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:55,756
DEFINITELY
THE RIGHT CALL.
25
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,358
WHERE'S MY GRANDSON?
HEY, BLANCA.
26
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,593
COME ON. I KNOW YOU'RE
AROUND HERE SOMEPLACE!
27
00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:01,229
GRANDPA!
I HEAR HIM!
28
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,963
GET OVER HERE!
COME HERE, YOU.
29
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,765
OH, BOY. I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
IN SO LONG.
30
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,768
MWAH, MWAH.
YOU'VE CHANGED SO MUCH.
31
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,137
ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?
32
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,538
[ LAUGHS ]
33
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,306
WE GOT SO MUCH
TO CATCH UP ON.
34
00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:15,075
iHOLA, ABUELITO!
¿CóMO ESTáS USTED?
35
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,712
WOW.
YOU -- YOU HAVE CHANGED.
36
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:22,283
YOU'VE TURNED INTO A HANDSOME
LITTLE MEXICAN BOY.
37
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:23,817
THANKS FOR TEACHING HIM
SOME SPANISH.
38
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,085
I'VE BEEN
WORKING ON IT, TOO.
39
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,888
MR. MIKE,
I ONLY SPEAK ENGLISH WITH BOYD.
40
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,391
AND BELIEVE ME,
HIS ENGLISH -- NOT SO GOOD.
41
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:33,294
BOYD IS LEARNING SPANISH
AT HIS NEW SCHOOL.
42
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:36,230
AND I WILL SAY, WITH THAT,
THEY ARE DOING A VERY GOOD JOB.
43
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,466
WHY ARE THEY TEACHING THEM
SPANISH IN THE 1st GRADE?
44
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,100
WELL, HONEY,
IT'S A BILINGUAL SCHOOL.
45
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,502
THE TEACHER SAYS EVERYTHING
IN ENGLISH
46
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,003
AND THEN SAYS IT AGAIN
IN SPANISH.
47
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,806
SO YOU WORK TWICE AS HARD
TO LEARN HALF AS MUCH?
48
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,141
OR THEY ARE LEARNING
TWICE AS MUCH
49
00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:49,109
BECAUSE THEY'RE LEARNING
ANOTHER LANGUAGE.
50
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,478
HOW DO THEY EVEN UNDERSTAND
"TWICE AS MUCH"?
51
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,180
THERE'S NO TIME FOR MATH.
52
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:55,183
THAT'S JUST HOW THEY HAVE TO
DO IT AT WILSON ELEMENTARY.
53
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:56,584
"WOODROW WILSON."
54
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,787
OH, WOODROW WILSON.
HE WON THE FIRST WORLD WAR.
55
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,822
HE WAS A GREAT PRESIDENT.
56
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,592
MY CITIZENSHIP TEST
IS COMING UP.
57
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,694
Mike: WOODROW WILSON
WAS NOT A GREAT PRESIDENT.
58
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,929
RONALD REAGAN
WAS A GREAT PRESIDENT.
59
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,099
IN WOODROW WILSON'S LAST TERM,
HE WAS PRACTICALLY BRAIN-DEAD.
60
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,202
HIS WIFE RAN THE COUNTRY.
61
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,437
OHH.
JUST LIKE RONALD REAGAN.
62
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,639
OH, HEY! HEY! HEY!
63
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,208
HE TOOK DOWN COMMUNISM!
64
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:22,310
HE DESERVED A NAP AT THE END.
65
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,112
HEY.
HEY.
66
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,647
iHOLA, MAMá Y PAPá!
67
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,815
HEY, SWEETIE.
68
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,617
¿CóMO ESTá, MIJO?
69
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,452
MUY BIEN. GRACIAS.
70
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,686
WELL, BIG SURPRISE.
71
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:37,024
LOOK WHO LIKES BILINGUAL
EDUCATION -- CLICHé GUEVARA.
72
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:40,027
I LOVE THAT BOYD
IS LEARNING SPANISH,
73
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,663
BUT I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED
ABOUT THE CLASS SIZES AT WILSON.
74
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,298
NO, IT'S NOT THE QUANTITY
OF THE KIDS.
75
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:46,200
IT'S THE QUALITY
OF THE TEACHERS.
76
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:49,237
SPOKEN LIKE A POSTER
IN A TERRIBLE SCHOOL.
77
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,405
IT'S NOT A TERRIBLE SCHOOL,
OKAY?
78
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,241
YES, OUR NEIGHBORHOOD
HAS ITS CHALLENGES,
79
00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:56,410
BUT THE SCHOOL HAS FENCES
AND METAL DETECTORS.
80
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:58,212
AND THERE'S A TREE NOW.
81
00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:02,583
ALCATRAZ HAD A BEACH.
DIDN'T MAKE IT A NICE RESORT.
82
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:05,419
DID YOU GUYS EVER CONSIDER
SENDING HIM TO A CHARTER SCHOOL?
83
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:07,655
NO.
IF WHITE
MIDDLE-CLASS FAMILIES
84
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,257
PULL THEIR KIDS
OUT OF URBAN SCHOOLS,
85
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,359
THOSE SCHOOLS
ARE JUST GONNA GET WORSE.
86
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,794
HOW CUTE.
YOU THINK YOU'RE MIDDLE-CLASS.
87
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:18,532
WE ARE VERY HAPPY
WITH WILSON.
88
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:19,533
REALLY?
89
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:20,934
MAYBE I SHOULD TEACH BOYD
90
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,571
HOW TO FASHION A SHIV
OUT OF A LUNCH TRAY.
91
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:26,240
DAD. WHAT ARE -- DO NOT PUT
THOSE THOUGHTS IN HIS HEAD.
92
00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:29,009
COME ON, BUDDY.
LET'S GRAB YOUR STUFF.
93
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,278
COME ON. OKAY.
[ CLAPS ]
94
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:32,280
I DO NOT WANT YOU
GIVING BOYD THE IDEA
95
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,282
THAT HE IS UNSAFE
AROUND OTHER CULTURES, OKAY?
96
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,950
WE WANT TO RAISE HIM
WITH AN OPEN HEART.
97
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,952
IF HE TAKES
THAT SHIV TRAINING SERIOUSLY,
98
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,289
THE OPEN HEART WILL BE
THE OTHER KID'S PROBLEM.
99
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,890
UNBELIEVABLE.
100
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,792
RYAN! BOYD!
WE GOT TO GO!
101
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:45,926
HEY, GUYS.
HEY.
102
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,728
Vanessa: OH, HEY, HONEY.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
103
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,397
IT WAS GREAT, MRS. B.
104
00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,602
SEE YOU TOMORROW,
MANDY.
105
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,404
YOU GUYS!
I'M LOVING COLLEGE!
106
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,372
IT'S LIKE I'M SEEING THE WORLD
FOR THE FIRST TIME,
107
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:00,107
LIKE A NEWBORN.
108
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:04,412
HAVE YOU NOTICED? SHE STILL
HAS THAT SOFT SPOT ON HER HEAD.
109
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,414
OH. YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU WERE SUCH A CUTE BABY.
Mike: YEAH.
110
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,749
AND NOW YOU'RE
MY BIG COLLEGE GIRL.
111
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:09,983
OH, DON'T WORRY.
112
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,219
THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF
NAKED PHOTOS FROM BOTH ERAS.
113
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,755
[ EXHALES SLOWLY ]
114
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,991
HEY, YOU GUYS.
CHECK THIS OUT.
115
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:21,161
"COGITO, ERGO SUM" --
I THINK, THEREFORE I AM.
116
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,396
RENé DESCARTES.
117
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:23,397
SHE WAS AWESOME!
118
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,766
WE LEARNED ABOUT HER
IN PHILOSOPHY TODAY.
119
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,234
SHE WAS FRENCH,
SO I DON'T REALLY KNOW
120
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,336
WHY SHE WAS
SPEAKING ITALIAN.
121
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,503
[ LAUGHS ]
122
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:30,504
UH...
123
00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:33,941
OH, BOY.
MONEY WELL SPENT.
124
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:35,943
I THINK RENé DESCARTES
WAS A MONSIEUR.
125
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,511
OH, WOW.
126
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:40,481
A PHILOSOPHER
THAT GIVES MASSAGES.
127
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:43,984
COOL. THAT'S A REAL
RENAISSANCE WOMAN.
128
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,252
HE WAS A MAN!
129
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,288
25 GRAND SO SHE CAN FIGURE OUT
WHETHER SHE EXISTS OR NOT.
130
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:51,459
OH. COME ON.
PHILOSOPHY IS FUN.
131
00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,026
YOU STUDIED IT
IN COLLEGE.
132
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,829
THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I'M AN EXPERT
ON HOW USELESS IT IS.
133
00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,431
LOOK, I AM JUST SO HAPPY
134
00:04:57,465 --> 00:05:00,368
THAT MANDY IS SHOWING
ANY INTEREST AT ALL IN SCHOOL.
135
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,603
SO, PLEASE,
DO NOT DISCOURAGE HER.
136
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,271
I'M NOT GONNA
DISCOURAGE HER.
OKAY.
137
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,706
SHE CAN MAJOR IN PHILOSOPHY
IF SHE WANTS.
138
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,007
AND...
139
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,243
HER STRIPPER NAME
COULD BE SOCRA-TEASE.
140
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:15,716
-- Captions by VITAC --
141
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:18,852
***
142
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,121
OKAY.
31st PRESIDENT?
143
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,390
UH, HERBERT HOOVER.
144
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,057
WOW. THAT'S IMPRESSIVE,
BLANCA.
145
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:27,561
SURE. SHE REMEMBERS THE ONE
NAMED AFTER A VACUUM CLEANER.
146
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,167
MIKE, COME ON.
THAT'S OFFENSIVE.
147
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,303
AND NUMBER 32?
148
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,306
THE GREATEST PRESIDENT OF ALL --
FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT.
149
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,509
HE LED THE ALLIES
IN WORLD WAR II
150
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,377
AND ENDED
THE GREAT DEPRESSION.
151
00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:46,246
ALL WHILE CHASING
THE LADIES.
152
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:47,415
HE STEPPED OUT
ON ELEANOR --
153
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:50,684
WELL, TECHNICALLY...
ROLLED OUT.
154
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:51,985
WOW.
155
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,987
SHE SHOULD HAVE WORKED HARDER
TO KEEP HER MAN HAPPY.
156
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:57,357
YOU KNOW, THAT IS
A WOMAN'S JOB, EVE. iVAMOS!
157
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,359
THAT'S ONE OF THE MANY THINGS
I LOVE
158
00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:02,430
ABOUT THE LATINO CULTURE.
159
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:05,666
WELL, LET'S HOPE BOYD DOESN'T
PICK THAT UP AT HIS NEW SCHOOL.
160
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,668
YOU KNOW, WE PAY TAXES
FOR A GREAT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
161
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,869
RIGHT IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.
162
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,070
WHY DOESN'T HE GO THERE?
163
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,506
YOU REALLY THINK
WILSON'S THAT BAD, MIKE?
164
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,508
GO ONLINE.
CHECK IT OUT.
165
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,945
THE ONLY THING WILSON
TESTS HIGH IN -- LEAD.
166
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,580
HE COULD USE OUR ADDRESS
A-AND GO TO CLARK.
167
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,181
OF COURSE HE COULD
USE OUR ADDRESS.
168
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,183
YEAH.
I MEAN, HE DOES STILL
HAVE A BEDROOM HERE.
169
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,351
HE COULD STAY HERE
A COUPLE NIGHTS A WEEK.
170
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,453
THAT WOULD --
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
171
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,120
I MEAN, I --
YOU WOULD LIKE THAT.
172
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,724
YOU KNOW WHAT?
AS LONG AS WE'RE DOING THIS
173
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:33,193
BECAUSE IT'S IN BOYD'S
BEST INTERESTS...
YEAH, OF COURSE.
174
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,795
...AND WE ARE NOT
JUST CLINGY GRANDPARENTS
175
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,029
TRYING TO HANG ON.
176
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,965
YOU THINK
I'M A CLINGY GRANDPARENT?
177
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,200
WELL, HONEY, YOU KNOW,
Y-YOU'RE STILL HANGING ON
178
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,401
TO THIS CRACKED SIPPY CUP.
179
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,971
I MEAN,
BOYD HASN'T USED IT IN AGES.
180
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,406
I -- I DON'T --
I'M NOT HANGING ON TO IT.
181
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,374
THROW IT OUT
IF YOU WANT.
182
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,375
ALL RIGHT. FINE.
183
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,777
NOT HANGING ON
TO OLD SIPPY CUPS.
184
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,378
IT'S CRACKED ANYWAY,
RIGHT?
185
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,214
NOT HANGING ON
TO THAT STUPID THING.
186
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:57,718
HATE TO BE
A CLINGY GRANDPA.
187
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,088
DON'T WANT TO WASTE STUFF,
THOUGH.
188
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,193
I COULD -- I COULD FIX THAT.
189
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,235
HELLO, FRIENDS.
HOLA, AMIGOS.
190
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,004
MIKE BAXTER HERE
FOR OUTDOOR MAN.
191
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:21,174
MIGUEL BAXTER AQUí PARA
EL HOMBRE DE LAS MONTAÑAS.
192
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,611
IT'S ALREADY ANNOYING,
ISN'T IT?!
193
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,278
IMAGINE SEVEN STRAIGHT HOURS
OF THAT,
194
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,314
AND YOU'LL GET AN IDEA
OF WHAT IT'S LIKE
195
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,281
IN SOME PUBLIC SCHOOLS
196
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:31,685
RIGHT HERE
IN THE GOOD OLD U.S.A.
197
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,286
PLEASE NO CARDS AND LETTERS.
198
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,123
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
I AM ALL FOR IMMIGRATION.
199
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,125
IT'S WHAT MADE THIS COUNTRY
GREAT.
200
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,494
IMMIGRATION AND...
201
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:43,163
ASSIMILATION.
202
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:46,767
BUT THE MELTING POT WON'T WORK
203
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,336
IF THE GOVERNMENT MAKES IT EASY
NOT TO MELT.
204
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:51,505
LET ME STIR THE POT A LITTLE.
205
00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,306
AHH, RIGHT THERE.
206
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,643
THAT'S A LITTLE
GERMAN SAUSAGE.
JAWOHL!
207
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,110
GOT ITALIAN CHEESES.
208
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,146
"GRAZIE!" "PREGO!"
[ CHUCKLES ]
209
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,714
SWEDISH MEATBALLS...
210
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,650
AND OKRA FROM WEST AFRICA.
211
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:06,286
YUM, YUM.
THEY'VE ALL BLENDED NICELY.
212
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,288
BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS TASTY GUMBO COULD USE,
213
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,657
IS [SNIFFS] CILANTRO.
214
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:10,891
HMM.
215
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,460
UNFORTUNATELY,
WITH THE HELP OF BILINGUALISM,
216
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,229
THE CILANTRO IS ALL CLUMPING
TOGETHER RIGHT OVER THERE.
217
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:20,067
THAT'S NO BUENO FOR THE GUMBO,
218
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,468
NO BUENO FOR THE CILANTRO,
219
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,070
AND NO BUENO FOR OUR COUNTRY.
220
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,872
SO LET'S STOP MAKING IT HARDER
221
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:28,341
FOR NEW CULTURES TO MIX
INTO OUR AMERICAN STEW.
222
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,745
MMM!
[ SLURPS ]
223
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,381
IT TASTES LIKE FREEDOM.
224
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,550
GOD, IT'S HOT.
225
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,218
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
226
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,820
TAKE A BREAK, GUYS.
227
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,354
I'M WITH YOU, MIKE.
228
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,891
I THINK THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD
KEEP ITS NOSE OUT OF OUR SOUPS.
229
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,258
YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT, MAN.
THIS IS --
230
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,927
YOU'RE THE PERFECT EXAMPLE.
YEP.
231
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,362
YOU IMMIGRATED HERE FROM SPAIN,
MADE A BIG BUSINESS.
MM-HMM.
232
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,398
YOU ARE WHAT MAKES
THIS COUNTRY GREAT.
OH, COME ON, MIKE.
233
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:54,602
YOU KNOW ASSIMILATION TAKES
TIME -- A GENERATION OR TWO.
YEAH, YEAH, I GET IT.
234
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,403
I MEAN,
GERMANS FRESH OFF THE BOAT
235
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,871
STILL SPOKE GERMAN
IN THE HOME.
236
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,073
YEAH, BUT I THINK THE GERMANS
SOMEWHERE IN THEIR MINDS
237
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:04,544
THOUGHT ONE DAY WE'D, UH,
ALL BE "SPEAKING GERMAN."
238
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,379
I THINK IT'S BETTER
FOR THE MELTING POT
239
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,248
WHEN IMMIGRANTS PRESERVE
ELEMENTS OF THEIR CULTURE.
240
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:10,083
I GOT IT. W-WHEN YOUR FOLKS
GOT HERE FROM SPAIN,
241
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,352
WHAT ELEMENTS OF THEIR CULTURE
DID THEY PRESERVE?
242
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,321
THEIR HATRED
OF THE PORTUGUESE.
243
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,692
COME ON, PEOPLE.
LOOK SHARP HERE.
244
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:22,095
WHO LEFT THE BACKPACK HERE?
WE DO B--
245
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:23,597
HA! GOTCHA, MIKE!
WHOA. HEY, HEY!
246
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:24,698
HEY, MAN!
247
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,700
HI, MIKE.
YOU DOING ALL RIGHT, MAN?
248
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,102
I'M DOING GOOD, YEAH. WHAT,
THE HOMELESS SHELTER SHUT DOWN?
249
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,439
NOW, LOOK, IF YOU WAS
A 10-POINT BUCK,
250
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:35,108
WE'D BE FIELD DRESSING YOU
RIGHT NOW.
251
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:37,277
UH, ACTUALLY, I'VE HUNTED
WITH YOU GUYS BEFORE.
252
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:40,113
YOU'D HAVE TO GET A LOT CLOSER
THAN THIS TO A DEER TO KILL IT.
253
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,615
HA!
MAYBE.
254
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,450
'CAUSE DEER ARE SMART
AND THEY MOVE FAST.
255
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:47,554
YOU? I'D HAVE YOU ON THE HOOD
OF MY TRUCK, SON.
256
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,156
SO, UH, DEER SEASON.
257
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,758
I GUESS YOU GUYS
ARE READY FOR THAT?
258
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,159
LET'S GO.
WE WANT TO GET GEARED UP.
259
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,326
ALL RIGHT. KYLE!
260
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,562
YOU REMEMBER THESE BOYS.
YEAH!
261
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,597
HOW COULD I FORGET
OUR TWO BEST CUSTOMERS?
262
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,700
AND WHO COULD FORGET...
263
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,003
KYLE?
264
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,338
YOU KNOW, I JUST SAID HIS NAME
THREE SECONDS AGO.
265
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,339
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU GUYS
266
00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:09,176
SINCE YOU TOOK ME HUNTING
FOR JACKASS-ALOPE.
267
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,011
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE DIDN'T EVEN SEE ONE.
268
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,813
OH, WE SAW ONE.
269
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,614
ANYWAYS, I WANT YOU
TO OUTFIT THESE GUYS,
270
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:17,651
GET 'EM ALL READY FOR THAT
MAN-vs.-NATURE BATTLE.
271
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:20,320
NOW, LOOK HERE. WE DON'T WANT
NATURE TO HAVE A CHANCE.
272
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,521
RIGHT.
RIGHT.
273
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:24,324
I SEE YOU GUYS ALREADY GOT
YOUR SWEET HUNTING CAMO.
274
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:28,095
HUNTING CAMO?
THIS IS MY SUNDAY BEST.
275
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,430
YEAH, WE JUST CAME
FROM CHURCH.
276
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,431
OH.
277
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,366
[ LAUGHS ]
WE'RE JUST JOKING WITH YOU.
YEAH.
278
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,469
YOU STILL DATING
BAXTER'S DAUGHTER?
279
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:38,171
SURE AM.
MANDY'S IN COLLEGE NOW.
280
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:40,307
SHE'S BEEN TELLING ME
ABOUT PHILOSOPHY.
281
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,109
IT'S REALLY
OPENED MY MIND.
282
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,112
THEN ALL THE BUTTERFLIES
FLEW OUT.
283
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,314
MY PHILOSOPHY IS,
"HEY, IF IT AIN'T BROKE,
284
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,549
HEY, YOU GOT HOSED
BUYING THE WARRANTY."
285
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,385
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
I'M GONNA NEED SOME THERMALS,
286
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:55,055
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA BE
IN THE WOODS FOR A WEEK,
287
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,791
AND I AIN'T SPOONING
WITH THIS CAT.
288
00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,393
WHEN YOU'RE UP THERE,
JUST REMEMBER --
289
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,295
WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING
INTO THE ABYSS,
290
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,664
THE ABYSS ALSO LOOKS
INTO YOU.
291
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:07,735
YEP. I'M LOOKING INTO AN ABYSS
RIGHT NOW.
292
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,871
RIGHT BETWEEN
YOUR EARS.
293
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:12,973
YOU JUST QUOTED
NIETZSCHE?
294
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,875
NO. MANDY.
295
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,509
HMM.
HEY, BAXTER,
296
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:20,113
CAN WE GET SOMEBODY BESIDES
LADYBEARD HERE TO HELP US?
297
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,818
HEY, BABE.
HEY.
298
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,353
DID YOU GET BOYD TO SCHOOL
ON TIME?
299
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,989
YEP. WE WERE EARLY.
HE EVEN GOT A DESK.
300
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,759
OH, NICE HUSTLE, HONEY.
MM.
301
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,461
SO, UH,
MY DAD'S COMING OVER.
302
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,397
HERE?
303
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,598
YEAH.
304
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,567
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK
HE WANTS?
305
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,236
I IMAGINE THAT WILL COME UP
WHEN HE GETS HERE.
306
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,205
WELL, HOW DO I LOOK?!
307
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:48,608
ADORABLE, BUT [CHUCKLES]
WHY DO YOU CARE?
308
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,443
IT'S THE FIRST TIME HIM VISITING
SINCE WE MOVED IN.
309
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,512
IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD,
HIM JUST SHOWING UP.
310
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,915
YOU KNOW, I-I MEAN, WHAT'S
HIS GAME? WHAT'S HIS ANGLE?
311
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,416
F-FRIENDLINESS?
312
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,452
OH, NO. YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHAT IS HIS ANGLE?
313
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,388
OKAY, WELL,
WHATEVER HE THROWS AT US,
314
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,256
WE NEED TO MAINTAIN
A UNITED FRONT.
315
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,591
OKAY.
I'LL BE RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
316
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:05,592
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
GREAT.
317
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:08,061
THAT MEANS
HE'LL KILL ME FIRST.
318
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:11,431
HEY!
319
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:12,432
Kristin: HEY.
320
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,567
A LITTLE
HOUSEWARMING GIFT.
321
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:15,535
[ CHUCKLES ]
HEY.
322
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,736
HEY. THANKS, DAD.
323
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,705
FELT A LITTLE WEIRD
CARRYING A BOTTLE OF WINE
324
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:22,709
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD WITHOUT
BEING SPRAWLED ON THE SIDEWALK.
325
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:26,146
WELCOME, MIKE.
MI CASA ES SU CASA.
326
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,881
GREAT.
327
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,317
ANYHOW, LISTEN.
328
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,920
SPEAKING OF SU CASA,
UH, YOUR MOM AND I WOULD LIKE
329
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:36,623
TO OFFER YOU OUR CASA --
OR AT LEAST THE ADDRESS --
330
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,725
IN CASE
YOU WANT TO SEND BOYD
331
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,727
TO THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.
332
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,795
[ SIGHS ]
333
00:12:41,829 --> 00:12:44,331
YOU MEAN LIE
TO THE SCHOOL DISTRICT?
334
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:47,667
[ SCOFFS ] WELL, IT'S NOT
EXACTLY THE LUFTHANSA HEIST.
335
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,437
PEOPLE DO THIS
ALL THE TIME.
336
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,440
AND BESIDES, I THINK...
337
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,076
YOUR MOM MIGHT LIKE TO HAVE BOYD
A COUPLE NIGHTS A WEEK.
338
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,911
OH, IT WOULD MAKE
MOM HAPPY, HUH?
339
00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,147
SHE'D LOVE IT.
SHE REALLY WOULD.
YEAH, OKAY, DAD,
340
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,149
RYAN AND I LIKE
BOYD GOING TO WILSON
341
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,616
BECAUSE
IT'S MULTICULTURAL.
342
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,618
[ SCOFFS ]
IT'S ONLY MULTICULTURAL NOW
343
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,687
BECAUSE
BOYD IS GOING THERE.
344
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,824
THIS IS NOT
UP FOR DEBATE.
345
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,492
RYAN AND I ARE COMPLETELY
TOGETHER ON THIS.
I'M NOT GONNA DEBATE.
L-LISTEN. LISTEN. I JUST --
346
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,661
WE WANT TO BE A PART
OF THE SOLUTION AT WILSON,
347
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:16,997
NOT A PART OF THE PROBLEM,
RIGHT, RYAN?
348
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,768
WAIT. WE COULD --
WE COULD DO THAT?
349
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,871
WE COULD USE YOUR ADDRESS?
YEAH.
350
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:28,041
BUT WE DON'T WANT TO BECAUSE
WE'RE HAPPY WITH OUR SCHOOL.
351
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:29,476
WELL, WE KIND OF
HAD TO BE HAPPY
352
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,478
BECAUSE THAT WAS
OUR ONLY OPTION, KRIS.
353
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:34,681
SHOULD WE HAVE GONE OVER THE
DEFINITION OF "UNITED FRONT"?
354
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,149
HONEY, FACE IT.
355
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,151
WILSON IS OVERCROWDED,
AND THE FACULTY IS OVERWHELMED.
356
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:41,788
I MEAN, AT MY FIRST P.T.A.
MEETING, I WAS THE ONLY "P."
357
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:45,859
SO YOU WERE ALL ALONE
WITH JUST "T" AND "A"?
358
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:52,132
COME ON.
LET'S BE REAL.
359
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,500
H-HE SHOULD
BE ABLE TO GO TO A SCHOOL
360
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:54,902
WHERE HE CAN HAVE A DESK
EVERY DAY
361
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,137
AND 6th GRADERS DON'T STEAL
YOUR LUNCH MONEY.
362
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,538
BOYD WAS ROBBED?
363
00:13:58,571 --> 00:13:59,739
NO. ME.
364
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,510
BUT THESE GIRLS
WERE REALLY AGGRESSIVE.
365
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,980
BUT, RYAN, WHAT EVER HAPPENED
TO "IT TAKES A VILLAGE"?
366
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,215
IT DOES TAKE A VILLAGE.
367
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,217
I JUST THINK THAT
WHEN IT COMES TO OUR SON,
368
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,819
I'D PREFER TO BE
IN YOUR DAD'S VILLAGE.
369
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,587
WE REALLY HAVE
A GREAT VILLAGE,
370
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:17,424
ALTHOUGH YOU GOT TO LOOK PRETTY
HARD TO FIND A GOOD BUM FIGHT.
371
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,326
OH, OH,
SO PEOPLE IN OTHER VILLAGES
372
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,528
AREN'T AS GOOD AS THE PEOPLE
IN YOUR VILLAGE?
373
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,563
THEY JUST DON'T BUILD
AS GOOD OF SCHOOLS.
SEE?
374
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,332
THIS IS WHY I MOVED BOYD
OUT OF YOUR HOUSE,
375
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,733
SO THAT HE WOULDN'T
HAVE TO GROW UP
376
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:29,569
LISTENING TO TOXIC IDEAS
LIKE THAT ONE.
377
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,373
WELL, IT'S YOUR CALL.
378
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,242
I WAS JUST LOOKING OUT
FOR BOYD.
NO, NO, NO.
379
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,676
YOU WERE JUST LOOKING OUT
FOR YOURSELF, DAD.
380
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,445
OKAY, THIS ISN'T ABOUT CLARK
AND WILSON.
381
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:41,781
THIS IS ABOUT YOU WANTING BOYD
AROUND YOUR HOUSE MORE.
382
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:44,217
TUCKED THAT KID IN
FOR FIVE YEARS.
383
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:47,654
MAYBE I'M HAVING A TOUGH TIME
LETTING THAT GO.
384
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,791
[ SCOFFS ] I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU JUST GANGED UP ON ME
385
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,560
IN FRONT OF MY DAD LIKE THAT!
AW, COME ON, KRIS.
386
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,362
YOU WOULD JUMP AT THE IDEA
OF SWITCHING SCHOOLS
387
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,596
IF IT CAME FROM ANYBODY
BUT YOUR FATHER.
388
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,198
THAT IS NOT TRUE!
389
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,599
NO, THAT IS TRUE.
390
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,134
WE BOTH KNOW THAT CLARK
IS A BETTER SCHOOL,
391
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,635
AND YOU'RE JUST DISAGREEING
WITH YOUR DAD
392
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:03,870
JUST TO DISAGREE
WITH HIM.
393
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,538
I MEAN, HE SAYS, "UP,"
AND YOU SAY, "DOWN."
394
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,040
YOU GO AGAINST HIM
JUST TO DRIVE HIM CRAZY
395
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,641
EVEN WHEN HE'S RIGHT.
396
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,745
WAIT.
397
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,747
THAT'S NOT THE REASON
YOU'RE WITH ME, IS IT?
398
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,395
I KICKED A HORNET'S NEST
BY JUST SUGGESTING
399
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,098
THAT BOYD ATTEND
ANOTHER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
400
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,265
WELL,
IF THERE'S ONE THING
401
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,833
THAT MOTHERS HAVE
A HIGH TOLERANCE FOR,
402
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,603
IT'S UNWANTED TIPS
ABOUT THEIR PARENTING.
403
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,605
SHE CALLED
MY INVOLVEMENT TOXIC.
404
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:39,806
WELL, OF COURSE IT IS.
405
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,441
YOU'VE BEEN
A TERRIBLE FATHER --
406
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,609
FOOD, SHELTER,
BALLET LESSONS.
407
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,178
I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS
ON YOU.
408
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:50,583
HEY, BOYS. WELCOME BACK.
YOU A MY BEST CUSTOMERS.
409
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,919
WELL, THIS TIME,
WE ARE GONNA GET A DEER.
410
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,122
OKAY, IF YOU SCATTER SHOTS
ACTUALLY BAG A BUCK,
411
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,857
I WILL COOK YOU MY WORLD-FAMOUS
CHICKEN-FRIED VENISON.
412
00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:01,228
IT'S ONLY WORLD-FAMOUS 'CAUSE
YOU WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT.
413
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,598
HEY. WHAT'S WITH LADYBEARD
OVER HERE?
414
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:06,799
WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?
415
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,136
BEEN IN THAT BOAT
A COUPLE HOURS.
416
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,338
MY DAUGHTER
BROKE HIS BRAIN.
417
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:12,505
WELL, IN ALL FAIRNESS,
418
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:15,742
I THINK IT COME FROM THE FACTORY
A LITTLE WONKY.
419
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,145
I THINK
WE CAN TALK TO HIM.
420
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,113
WE'RE PRETTY GOOD
AT COAXING NERVOUS CRITTERS
421
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,882
OUT OF THEIR DENS.
422
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,751
AND THEN
WE SHOOT 'EM.
423
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,554
LET'S SKIP THAT STEP.
424
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:30,190
MIKE, I CAN'T PROMISE
THE INSTINCT WON'T KICK IN.
425
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,226
KYLE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
426
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,828
EXACTLY.
WHAT ARE ANY OF US DOING?
427
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:38,465
I JUST KEEP THINKING ABOUT
ALL THIS PHILOSOPHY STUFF.
428
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,834
LIFE IS MEANINGLESS
AND AN EMPTY VOID OF DESPAIR.
429
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:45,205
THIS KID
IS A MAJOR BUMMER.
430
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:49,209
KYLE -- KYLE, COME ON.
YOU'RE ONLY 22.
431
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,678
THINGS ARE GONNA GET
A LOT WORSE.
432
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,648
KYLE, LOOK,
BEFORE BAXTER'S DAUGHTER
433
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,850
SHORTED
ALL YOUR WIRES OUT,
434
00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:00,253
WHAT GAVE YOUR LIFE
MEANING?
435
00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:02,522
I DON'T KNOW. I-I GUESS
I ALWAYS FOUND MEANING
436
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,657
IN WHAT I LEARNED
AT SUNDAY SCHOOL.
437
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:05,892
THAT'S IT.
438
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,894
LIKE MARK 12:31 --
439
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,662
"LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR
AS YOURSELF."
440
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:10,997
YEAH,
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
441
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,533
THAT MARK HAD BETTER
NEIGHBORS THAN ME.
442
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:16,002
I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR.
443
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,371
HEY, YOU'RE MAKING
MY POINT.
444
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,940
STICK WITH
THE BIG MAN UPSTAIRS,
445
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:22,742
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE
ANOTHER DAY OF YOUR LIFE
446
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,277
THAT WON'T HAVE PURPOSE.
447
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:25,445
YEAH.
448
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,580
JESUS IS PRETTY AWESOME.
OH, YEAH.
449
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,516
YOU TAKE A CUE FROM
THE GREATEST PHILOSOPHER
450
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:30,517
THAT EVER WALKED
THE EARTH.
451
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,520
MY APOLOGIES TO...
NEWT GINGRICH.
452
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,788
THANKS, GUYS.
453
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,124
I'M BACK, MR. B.
454
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:39,459
GOOD.
BECAUSE YOU OWE ME TWO HOURS.
455
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:40,727
YOU GOT IT.
456
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,562
"I CAN DO ALL THINGS
THROUGH HIM WHO STRENGTHENS ME."
457
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,231
PHILIPPIANS 4:13.
458
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:47,033
THAT'S RIGHT. YOU GO WEIRD ON ME
AGAIN, YOU'RE FIRED!
459
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,336
MIKE BAXTER, 12:25.
460
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:55,342
OOH.
OH.
461
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:59,246
HI, DAD.
UH, I STILL HAVE MY KEY.
462
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,448
SHOULD I HAVE RUNG THE DOORBELL?
JUST SEEMS KIND OF WEIRD.
463
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,716
KRIS, THIS IS ALWAYS GONNA
BE YOUR HOUSE, ALL RIGHT?
464
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,853
EVEN THOUGH I'VE GOT A FOOSBALL
TABLE WHERE YOUR BED USED TO BE.
465
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,590
SO, DAD,
UH, RYAN AND I TALKED,
466
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,626
AND WE SIGNED BOYD UP
FOR CLARK TODAY.
467
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:16,629
SO...YOU WON.
468
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,231
BOYD'S THE WINNER HERE.
469
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:19,632
AND SO AM I.
470
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:23,903
DAD,
ABOUT THIS MORNING,
471
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,506
I SHOULD NEVER
HAVE CALLED YOU TOXIC.
472
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:28,475
BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE?
473
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:31,478
I JUST SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID IT.
474
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:34,447
YES, YOU HAVE YOUR THINGS
YOU FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT
475
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,283
THAT I THINK ARE INSANE.
476
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:39,085
YOU KNOW, FUNNY. THIS
STARTED OFF SOUNDING LIKE
IT WAS GONNA BE AN APOLOGY.
477
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,087
AND SOMETIMES YOU SAY THINGS
IN FRONT OF BOYD
478
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,156
THAT -- THAT MAKE
MY SKIN CRAWL.
479
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:45,758
BOY, STILL NOT
THE APOLOGY WORDS.
480
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,596
BUT YOU CAN ALSO
BE AMAZINGLY GREAT.
481
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,531
THAT'S ALL PART OF THE PACKAGE
OF MIKE BAXTER,
482
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,667
A PACKAGE I DEFINITELY WANT
IN BOYD'S LIFE.
483
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,503
SO...
484
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:57,704
I'M SORRY.
485
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,072
THERE IT IS.
486
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,610
AND DON'T WORRY
ABOUT CALLING ME TOXIC.
487
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,979
YOUR MOM CALLS ME TOXIC
ALL THE TIME.
488
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:10,983
OF COURSE,
WE SHARE A BATHROOM.
489
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,620
HEY, HONEY.
OH, HEY.
OOH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
490
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:15,622
I GOT SOMETHING
FOR YOU GUYS.
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?
491
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:18,625
IT IS A GIFT CERTIFICATE
TO TOY WORLD.
492
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:21,328
[ GASPS, CHUCKLES ]
493
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:26,065
UH, WOW. I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO SNEAK INTO THAT PLACE.
494
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,367
I -- [ LAUGHS ]
495
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,371
OH! NO!
NOT THAT TOY WORLD!
496
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,240
MOM!
497
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:36,843
I-I THOUGHT THAT YOU GUYS
COULD GO WITH BOYD
498
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:39,512
TO PICK SOMETHING OUT...
OH.
499
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:40,680
...SINCE HE'S GONNA
BE SPENDING MORE TIME HERE
500
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,216
BEFORE AND AFTER SCHOOL.
501
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:46,586
OH, YAY!
OH, GOOD! GOOD!
502
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,521
GOOD!
503
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,257
HE LOVES "GO, DIEGO, GO!"
504
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,691
OF COURSE HE DOES.
505
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,260
NOW THAT DIEGO'S HERE...
506
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,295
HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
507
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,337
HMM. HMM.
HI, BLANCA.
508
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,905
WELCOME HOME, MR. MIKE.
I HAVE YOUR FAVORITE --
509
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,341
A FROSTED MUG
AND SPICED NUTS ON THE TRAY.
510
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:11,110
THANK YOU.
MM-HMM.
511
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:13,913
YOU KNOW, WHEN AN AMERICAN WOMAN
SERVES YOUR NUTS ON A TRAY,
512
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:17,684
IT MEANS SOMETHING
TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
513
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:21,087
HA! BUT, MR. MIKE, AN AMERICAN
WOMAN DID SERVE NUTS TO YOU.
514
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,689
NO WAY!
MM-HMM!
515
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,090
OH, CONGRATULATIONS!
516
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:26,092
OH, THANK YOU!
OHH!
517
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,928
WOW!
THAT IS SUCH GOOD NEWS!
518
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,298
WELL, IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE --
I MEAN, TO REALLY BE HERE.
519
00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:32,932
NOW YOU'RE PART
OF THE CLUB!
MM-HMM.
520
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,133
CONFIDENTIALLY...
HMM?
521
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,469
...AT THE ALAMO,
WE WEREN'T REALLY TRYING.
522
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:44,744
SHAKE A LEG THERE, BAXTER.
WE'RE HUNGRY.
523
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:47,380
YEAH, DAD. THIS CHICKEN-FRIED
BUCK DIED A HERO.
524
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:48,581
LET'S EAT HIM
WHILE HE'S STILL WARM.
525
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:51,484
WOW. THAT ACTUALLY SMELLS
REALLY GOOD.
526
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,119
JUST PRETEND
IT DOESN'T HAVE A FACE.
527
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:55,288
YOU'RE ON A ROLL
ABANDONING YOUR PRINCIPLES.
528
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:59,426
ANY COMFORT TO YOU --
HE DIDN'T HAVE A FACE LONG.
529
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,428
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN UP.
UM, BEFORE WE GET STARTED,
530
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,095
I JUST WANT TO SAY
WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN IN AMERICA
531
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:05,097
FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS
LIKE YOUR FAMILIES
532
00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:08,435
OR AN AMERICAN
FOR JUST TWO DAYS,
533
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:11,738
I FEEL BLESSED TO BE SHARING
THIS COUNTRY WITH ALL OF YOU.
534
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,740
WANT TO DO THE HONORS?
SURE.
535
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,942
LET US PRAY.
536
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:18,110
LORD, OUR GOD IS ONE GOD.
537
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:19,512
WE PRAY THAT WE LOVE YOU
538
00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:21,814
WITH ALL OUR HEARTS, SOUL,
MIND, AND STRENGTH.
539
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:24,484
WE PRAY THAT WE LOVE
OUR NEIGHBOR AS OURSELF,
540
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:26,653
AND THERE'S NO GREATER
COMMANDMENT THAN THIS.
541
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,287
AMEN.
All: AMEN.
542
00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:29,288
ALL RIGHT.
543
00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:31,324
Vanessa: OKAY. OH, MY.
OKAY. DIG IN.
40392
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof