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1
00:00:03,568 --> 00:00:06,006
All right, honey,
five weeks on this remodel,
2
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,746
and it is finally done.
3
00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:09,139
What do you think?
4
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:11,272
Oh, this is the most
beautiful drawing...
5
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:13,274
-Blueprint.
-...blueprint...
6
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,015
-of a ba...
-Restaurant.
7
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,452
...restaurant.
8
00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:19,410
I'’m sorry, babe,
I am exhausted, all right?
9
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:20,933
This week'’s been brutal.
10
00:00:20,977 --> 00:00:23,588
It'’s the first half
of the third financial quarter,
11
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:26,069
or, as we accountants call it,
"the big dance."
12
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,289
Uh-huh. Yeah, that'’s probably
'’cause none of you guys
13
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,378
were ever invited
to actual dances.
14
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:32,423
Aw, I miss
my little house bully.
15
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,339
Been working so much,
I feel like
16
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:36,471
I haven'’t seen you in weeks.
17
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:38,647
I know. And we
only have one more night
18
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,518
with the house to ourselves
until Cooper'’s back
19
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:41,606
from writing his new album.
20
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,391
Ah. So...
21
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,219
what do you say we, uh,
22
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:48,439
go upstairs and get undressed,
23
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,572
get into bed and, uh...
24
00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:52,574
split this sleeping pill?
25
00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:55,533
Oh, my God,
you'’re the best husband ever.
26
00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:57,840
[laughs]
Where'’d you get that?
27
00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:01,409
Tina from HR, which I believe
stands for Hella Rested.
28
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,672
[grunts]
Yes. Oh, man.
29
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:07,328
Ah, yeah, that'’s pure, that's...
30
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,069
Hey, wait, you think
it'’s okay for us
31
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,505
to take someone else'’s
prescription?
32
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:13,073
Who'’s gonna bust us,
the dream police?
33
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,770
-[siren blares]
-Oh, my God, it'’s the cops!
34
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,119
Don'’t panic.
Don'’t panic. Okay, uh...
35
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:18,600
Jake! Jake, relax.
36
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,471
-Relax. Right. Just chill.
-[knocking]
37
00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:24,127
Just chill, man.
38
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,042
-Chill, baby.
-Just answer the door.
39
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:30,002
Are you Jake and Claire Davis?
40
00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:32,527
It was Claire!
And the drugs are in the plant!
41
00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,618
Yes.
42
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:39,708
I remember now.
This isour daughter'’s home.
43
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,144
Thank you, Officer.
44
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,364
I found these two
wandering around the marina.
45
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:45,366
Same thing happened
to my parents.
46
00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,325
Make the most
of their lucid moments.
47
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,761
[door closes]
48
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,763
-He'’s gone.
-[sighs]: Oh.
49
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:54,114
Oh, it is so hard
being fake senile.
50
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,941
when you'’re real drunk.
51
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:58,683
Uh, what is going on?
52
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:01,121
And... why do you two smell
like an old rug
53
00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:03,427
in a frat house basement?
54
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:06,038
We were out on a boat playing
flip cup with our new friends
55
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:08,345
from the yacht club,
and got way too hosed to drive,
56
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,173
so we called the cops
for a ride.
57
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:13,829
That'’s your actual answer?
It sounds like
58
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:16,440
you'’re quoting a line
from Kid Rock'’s deposition.
59
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,705
Yeah, cops don'’t
just give people rides.
60
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:23,230
It turns out, at our age,
if you just act confused,
61
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:25,014
the police
will drive you anywhere.
62
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:27,408
They'’re like free Uber.
63
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,236
Mom!
64
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,455
Oh, come on, you know?
I pay my taxes.
65
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,501
Well, not this year,
but sometimes.
66
00:02:33,544 --> 00:02:36,895
We shared the back seat with
the most charming shoplifter.
67
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,810
He said the key to stealing
68
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:42,466
was to work as a team
and have the lookout distracting
69
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,251
-the marks.
-[bottles clinking]
70
00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,469
[fake sneezing]
71
00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:47,732
[exhales]
72
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:55,131
So, who are these new
yacht club friends, anyway?
73
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,742
Oh, we'’ve told you
about Terry and the Gooch.
74
00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:01,485
Terry and the Gooch?
75
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:05,228
Sounds like a Pixar movie
about STDs.
76
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,667
They are a hoot.
77
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:12,061
They took us skinny-dipping.
78
00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:13,932
-Oh, no way.
-Yeah. You want to see photos?
79
00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:16,021
No way.
80
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:18,067
Why'’d you two stop hanging out
with your old friends,
81
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,199
-like the Johnstons?
-GERALD: Ugh!
82
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:21,331
You mean the Yawnstons?
83
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:24,160
They are the absolute worst.
84
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,032
Life is just too short
to hang out with lame people.
85
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:28,686
And speaking of, let'’s bounce.
86
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,471
Great.
87
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,473
Mom, what'’s in your purse?
88
00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:34,953
Oh. Just a little bit
of none-ya.
89
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:37,173
-None-ya what?
-Claire, don'’t...
90
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,088
None ya business.
Run, Gerald!
91
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:45,050
♪ Imagine me and you, I do
92
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:48,053
♪ I think about you
day and night ♪
93
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,273
♪ It'’s only right ♪
94
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,144
♪ So happy together...
95
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:54,321
[vocalizing]
96
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,248
I barely slept last night.
97
00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:10,728
Really? I didn'’t notice during
your nine consecutive hours
98
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,426
of...
[grunting]
99
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,736
I'’m sorry.
100
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:20,521
But our lives are
stressful enough
101
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,610
without my parents
acting all crazy.
102
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:25,047
And I just wish that
they would text me back.
103
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,179
I mean, who even knows
if they got home last night?
104
00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:29,834
I mean, I'’d offer to go check
on them, but, uh, too scared
105
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,837
to walk in and find out why they
have a leash and no dog.
106
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:35,013
They used to be so reliable.
107
00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,537
But ever since they retired,
108
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,930
they'’re acting like
a couple of teenagers.
109
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,889
They'’re partying all the time,
stealing our liquor,
110
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:43,065
getting brought home
in cop cars.
111
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:45,328
I mean, what if next time
it'’s a doctor car?
112
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:46,634
You mean an ambulance?
113
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:50,072
I'’m just so tired, Jake.
114
00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:52,030
Look, listen, babe, look, look,
if you'’re really worried,
115
00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:54,250
then maybe we should talk
to them, you know?
116
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,470
I'’ve been practicing my dad
voice for when we have kids.
117
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,602
Don'’t you walk away from me!
118
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:01,039
I will turn this car around!
119
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,433
You'’re in good hands!
Nope. Lost it. I went Allstate.
120
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,914
Honestly, I don'’t think
that'’ll work anyway,
121
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,785
'’cause whenever my parents
used to yell at me,
122
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,439
it just made me rebel more.
123
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:12,181
That'’s why I ended up dating
so many bad boys.
124
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:15,489
I wouldn'’t call myself
a badboy.
125
00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:18,535
[laughs]:
Nobody would.
126
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,972
Anyway, my clients are visiting
the site on Monday,
127
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:23,323
-so I got to crank
on this restaurant plan.
-Sounds good.
128
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:26,326
Let'’s get some work done while
we have the house to ourselves.
129
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,371
Guys, stop everything.
130
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:31,200
Cooper has an emergency,
and it'’s more important
131
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,420
than whatever you'’re doing,
because he'’s famous.
132
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,510
What is it?
133
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,381
My label'’s on me
to record a big hit
134
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,904
for this summer,
but I have nothing.
135
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:41,471
That'’s why I dug out
some old records,
136
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:42,777
to help him find inspiration.
137
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,735
Now, this is the entire
soundtrack of my youth.
138
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,171
You can pull out any album
139
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:48,130
and there is
a crystal clear memory attached.
140
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:51,220
Got it. Uh, what about Blondie,
Parallel Lines?
141
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:53,091
Summer of '’78,
oiled up and sunbathing
142
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:56,356
on the roof of my mother'’s car.
143
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,880
I can'’t tell you how many times
she drove to the store
144
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,883
not realizing I was up there.
145
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,188
Uh, Wayne,
you'’re Cooper's manager.
146
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,625
I hope you'’re not suggesting
147
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,061
he rip off someone else'’s music.
148
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,889
What?! No.
149
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,717
I'’m suggesting he pay tribute.
150
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,458
Like, uh, to the Eagles.
151
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,852
Perhaps a song called
"Hotel Colorado."
152
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,551
Problem is I don'’t have anything
exciting to write about.
153
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,770
When my ex-girlfriend Sierra
faked her own death,
154
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,990
the songs just poured out of me.
155
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:26,560
Well, we can'’t kill Sierra.
The cops frown on it.
156
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,692
COOPER: Claire, Jake,
don'’t get me wrong,
157
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,781
I'’ve never been happier--
it'’s just that
158
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:32,870
-living with you guys is so...
-Boring?
159
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,220
Depressing? Lonely?
160
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,092
There I go again,
describing my childhood.
161
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:37,788
[chuckles]
162
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,792
I was gonna say normal.
163
00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:44,447
Um, which is what I love
about being here,
164
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,275
but it doesn'’t
exactly make for...
165
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,146
exciting music.
166
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,321
What?
167
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,367
What?!
168
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,326
[laughs]: Listen, man, if you
want an exciting summer anthem,
169
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:56,590
Claire and I can help you out.
170
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,679
Yeah. You know what?
Grab your umbrella,
171
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,376
'’cause it's about to brainstorm!
172
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,944
JAKE:
You done started it now!
173
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,511
-Let'’s do this. Uh...
-All right, uh-huh.
174
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:09,254
-So, swimming. Um, hamburgers.
-Uh, sun. Summer camp.
175
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,734
-Hot dogs,
-Okay, uh, hot.
176
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:12,606
-Buns.
-Sunscreen. Sunburn.
177
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,346
-Um...
-Melanoma, uh...
178
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:15,913
-...barbecue...
-Yeah, barbecues.
179
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:17,524
-Barbecues.
-Barbecues. I like that.
180
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,003
-Okay, barbecues. You know what?
-Barbecues. All right.
181
00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:21,658
-Jake, give me a beat.
-All right, here we go.
182
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,007
-Oh.
-[rhythmic grunting]
183
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:24,139
♪ Give me some burgers
184
00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,357
♪ Everyone can eat
185
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,489
♪ It'’s time to barbecue ♪
186
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,796
♪ Girl, give me that meat!
187
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:31,712
CLAIRE:
No. You know what?
188
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,496
Cooper, maybe you should go
and hang out
189
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,411
with some kids your own speed,
190
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,631
at like a...
like, a YouTube social
191
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:40,634
or, like, a Instagram club...
192
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,636
-[scoffs]
-Shut up, Jake.
193
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,159
You don'’t know, either.
194
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:46,291
[chuckles]
That'’s actually a good idea.
195
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:48,816
I haven'’t been out in a while.
Maybe tonight I hit a club,
196
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,600
get a little bit wild,
see if it inspires anything.
197
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,211
"BoysJust Want to Have Fun"?
198
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,953
You know what? I have an idea.
Maybe that'’s the opposite
199
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,086
of what we need to do
with my parents-- get them
200
00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,696
to hang out with people
who will slow down their speed.
201
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,742
Mm, Claire,
I think it'’s too early
202
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:04,353
to talk about putting
your parents in a home.
203
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,660
And that being said,
204
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:08,966
I do have some literature.
205
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,707
WAYNE:
Uh, guys,
206
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:13,754
no offense, but you'’re being
reallydistracting.
207
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,451
Do you mind
giving us the room?
208
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,237
Sure.
Wow.
209
00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,543
That'’s great.
210
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,545
Oh, and, hey,
I'’d love some.
What?
211
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,026
Oh, did you not
offer us pizza rolls?
212
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:27,202
No.
213
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,638
Well, could you?
214
00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:31,423
No.
215
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,691
Jake, is the picnic
basket ready?
216
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:38,822
'’Cause my parents
and the Johnstons
217
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:39,867
should be here any minute.
218
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,695
Yep, filled it
with sparkling cider
219
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:43,914
and a bunch of
fancy cheeses.
Oh, great.
220
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,700
Yeah, we got your smoky,
your sharp, your creamy
221
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,832
and, uh, this perfectly
aged cheddar
222
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,181
I found in the back
of the fridge.
223
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:51,661
[sniffs]
224
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:53,315
That'’s a sponge.
Oh.
225
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:57,972
You are correct.
226
00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:59,582
Hey.
227
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,453
So, what'’s the big surprise?
228
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,978
Are you pregnant?
229
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:06,720
No, I just ate a lot
of salt yesterday.
230
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,504
I told you, Gerald,
231
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,332
Claire'’s surprises are
always the worst.
232
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,942
Remember this one?
233
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:14,554
"And guess what, guys,
he'’s an accountant!"
234
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:22,910
No, our surprise is
we got you...
235
00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:24,825
You tell '’em, Claire.
236
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:26,609
...something you used
to love to do.
237
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:29,394
We talkin'’ nostalgia, y'all.
238
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,397
Grab your tiny binoculars,
239
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:35,313
because we got you guys
box seats to the...
240
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:36,924
[imitating fanfare]
241
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:39,970
♪ Symphony!
242
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:42,320
[disappointedly]:
Oh, thanks, Claire.
243
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,757
Yeah, we even packed up
a picnic basket
244
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,454
of all your favorite foods.
245
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:46,934
Oh, you really expect us
to get excited
246
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,631
about brie cheese
and a sponge?
247
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:52,330
You know, you guys used to love
the symphony.
248
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:54,115
I also used to think
Mel Gibson was nice.
249
00:09:54,158 --> 00:09:55,856
Opinions change.
250
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,988
Uh, why are there
four tickets here?
251
00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,903
You guys coming, too?
252
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,993
Okay, we'’re-we're really
only doing what'’s best for you.
253
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,517
[doorbell rings][giggling]
254
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:07,607
Claire, who'’s at the door?
255
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:10,305
Okay, we thought tonight
would be a good excuse
256
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:11,872
for you two to get
a little taste
257
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:14,004
of your pre-retirement life
258
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,354
by catching up
with the...
259
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:20,576
Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-Jo-
Johnstons!
260
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,709
It'’s an ambush,
Gerald, run.
261
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,145
What?!
262
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:25,668
Hey, hey, come on.
263
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:26,974
You guys have a lot
in common.
264
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:29,280
You guys are all
retired doctors.
265
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,195
They were foot
doctors, Claire.
266
00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:33,763
The dorks of the
medical community.Yeah.
267
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,678
Their business cards
used to read
268
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,637
"This little piggy
went to medical school."
269
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,638
Don'’t do this to us, Claire.
270
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:44,426
Mr. and Mrs. Johnston,
right on time.
271
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,906
[chuckles] Come on in.
272
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:47,298
Take a seat.
273
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:49,474
We were actually
15 minutes early,
274
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,694
so we'’ve just been
waiting in the car.
275
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:54,784
We played that game
where you see
276
00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:57,831
who can go the longest
without talking.
277
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,746
We tied.We tied.
278
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:04,794
Hello, Jean. Gene.
279
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,491
It'’s been a while.
280
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,798
I see that you'’re
both still into
281
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:10,800
that intense,
nonblinking eye contact.
282
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:19,940
CLAIRE:
Um... well, hey,
283
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,377
Mom and Dad are really excited
about the symphony tonight.
284
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:23,726
As are we.
285
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,424
I hear the fourth chair oboist
286
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:30,080
is using a new reed tonight.
287
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,213
Hey, you...
288
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,519
get out of town,
male Gene.
289
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,217
GERALD: Hey,
uh, Bonnie,
290
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,176
why don'’t you help me
get Gene and Jean some water?
291
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,569
No straw.
292
00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:42,745
Gene finds them too suggestive.
293
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:51,101
Okay. Okay.
And for you, Gene?
294
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:54,670
Oh, wish I could, but I had
a fluoride treatment today.
295
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,151
Sort of a birthday tradition.
296
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:03,766
Okay.[Claire chuckles]
297
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,551
Uh, can you excuse us
for just a second?One second.
298
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:08,292
[both chuckle]Hey! Hey!
299
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:11,556
Hey!
[yelping]
300
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,645
Do not run away. The Johnstons
301
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,430
are really excited
about tonight.
302
00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,432
Yeah, I'’m sure it's all
they'’ve been thinking about
303
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:19,695
since they climbed out
of their coffins this morning.
304
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,308
Guys, am I the only one
who sees those ghosts
305
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:26,746
sitting on the couch there?
306
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,052
Jake and Claire
307
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:31,881
set us up on a playdate
with some dry-humps.
308
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,623
Okay, well, have fun.
309
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:36,451
Yeah, I'’m gonna, um,
go get some dinner
310
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:37,669
and head to a club.GERALD: Ooh!
311
00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:40,237
Take us with you.
No.
312
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,848
You are going to the concert
with your friends,
313
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,197
and that'’s final.
314
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,156
[groans] You always let Cooper
do the fun stuff.
315
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,423
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. Mm, mm.BONNIE:
Ooh.
316
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,390
All right, your parents
are at a symphony.
317
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:05,654
Cooper'’s at a club.
The house-- she'’s ours.
318
00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:08,091
Mmm. [chuckles]
319
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:11,791
And we'’ve got that "meow meow"
the narcs didn'’t "joink."
320
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,489
That'’s a lot of street talk
for a cut-in-half Tylenol PM.
321
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,406
But hey, if it'’s gonna
help me sleep better,
322
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:20,538
"joink" me that
sweet "meow meow."
323
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,978
[both chuckle][knock on door]
324
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,545
[coughs] Come on!
325
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:29,852
Who'’s there?
326
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,854
GENE:
It'’s Gene Johnston,
327
00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:33,638
and I'’m here
with my current wife,
328
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,858
Jean Johnston.
329
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:39,819
Hello, Jeans. [chuckles]
330
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,865
Where are my parents?
331
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:45,302
We don'’t know.
The symphony started,
332
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,088
they stood up, yelled,
"Play some Skynyrd,"
333
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:51,352
and then took off.
334
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:54,442
Oh, my God, they ditched
the concert? Gah!
335
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:58,185
Why can'’t we just have
one night? One night?
336
00:13:58,228 --> 00:14:02,102
Um, do you have any idea
where they may have gone?
337
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:05,888
No, they-they just said,
"See ya, dry-humps."
338
00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:22,600
Are you sucking out
my soul right now?
339
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:30,565
Oh, they'’re not answering
any of my calls or my texts.
340
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:32,915
I'’m getting really
worried, Jake.
All right,
341
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:35,048
we need to start thinking
like they think.
342
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:38,094
Here, chug this bottle
of vodka.
343
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:41,315
No.
They could be anywhere.
344
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:42,925
We need to call them
from a number
345
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:43,883
that they don'’t recognize,
like...
346
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:46,276
the land line!The land line!
347
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,582
Yes.
Ugh!
348
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:48,931
Yeah, yeah.Got it.
349
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:51,542
Good, got it, good.Okay...
350
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:54,719
[both cough]
351
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,460
Baby, you'’re a genius.
352
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,462
When'’s the last time
we even used this thing
to make a call?
353
00:14:58,506 --> 00:14:59,899
Uh, I think it was
to call Blockbuster
354
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:02,640
to see if Deuce Bigalow
was out yet.
355
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,816
Oh, wait, no.
356
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,862
As soon as they hear your voice,
they'’re gonna hang up.
357
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,430
Right, right, uh,
who should I be?
358
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:11,649
I don'’t know, you're
terrible at impressions.
359
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:15,218
[imitating lamely]:
You know, Christopher Walken
360
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:18,439
begs... to differ.
361
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:21,964
[speakerphone on]
362
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:24,401
[dialing]
363
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:26,882
[line ringing]BONNIE: Go for Bonnie.
364
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,014
Oh, thank God,
they'’re alive.
365
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,581
Now talk, talk, talk.Oh, um...
366
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:34,934
[distorting voice]:
Hey, Bonnie, it'’s The Gooch!
367
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,806
BONNIE: Hey, girl.
I can barely hear you.
368
00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:40,069
The Gooch is a woman?
369
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:44,117
If you can hear me, just meet us
at the Lavender Lounge.
370
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,380
Google "MapQuest,"
then type it in.
371
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:49,339
It'’ll give you directions
you can print out.
372
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,776
Tell the bouncer
you'’re with Cooper James.
373
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,735
Bye, Gooch.
374
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:56,694
Unbelievable.
375
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:59,741
I can'’t believe those two.
[chuckles]
376
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:01,003
Let'’s go get my parents.
377
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:04,093
Hell yeah.
I'’ll print out the directions.
378
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:09,142
♪
379
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,056
All right, let'’s
just spread out
380
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:11,535
and try and find
my parents.
381
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,276
Sounds great.
382
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,712
Or we could just walk over
to that giant cage
383
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:15,713
they'’re currently dancing in.
384
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:18,020
♪
385
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,980
Oh, my God.
386
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,285
Mom! Dad!
387
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:25,636
Oh, honey, I think
intermission is over.
388
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,551
We should head back
to the concert hall.
389
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:30,815
Okay, I-I can'’t believe
you guys lied to us.
390
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,904
And I can'’t believe I'm about
to say this to my parents,
391
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:35,777
but get out of that sex cage!
392
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:39,128
CLAIRE:
Hey, stop!
393
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:40,434
Bonnie and Gerald Wheeler!
394
00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:43,219
Get your asses out
of that damn cage
395
00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:45,178
before I turn this club around!
396
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,571
Don'’t make me
start counting.
397
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,399
One, two...
398
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:50,835
Don'’t let me get to three.COOPER:
Hi, guys.
399
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,402
Fancy seeing you here.
400
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,013
You, too, Captain Kangaroo.
401
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,015
The party'’s over, that's right.
402
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,887
What did I do?Doesn'’t matter.
403
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,063
All y'’all, get in the car.
We'’re going home.
404
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:05,154
You gonna like the way you look,
I guarantee it!
405
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,069
Damn it,
I went Men'’s Wearhouse.
406
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:12,988
Now, what do you two have
to say for yourselves?
407
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,425
BOTH:
Sorry, Jake and Claire.
408
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:17,079
All right.
409
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:18,950
CLAIRE:
Thank you.
410
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:21,257
And we don'’t like
yelling at you guys.
411
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:23,738
We just have a lot
going on right now, okay?
412
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:26,871
We are both slammed at work,
we'’re not getting any sleep.
413
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:29,309
And the last thing we need
is to be tracking you guys down
414
00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:32,529
to a nightclub
at almost 11:00 p.m.
415
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,142
I thought it was
way later than that.
God.
416
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:37,795
CLAIRE:
Now, I'’m sorry,
417
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:39,232
but you guys are my parents,
418
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,234
and I barely
recognize you anymore.
419
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:44,933
Oh, honey...
420
00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:47,414
that is the nicest thing
anyone'’s ever said to us.
421
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:49,155
What?
422
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,766
Back when we were doctors,
we were so boring
423
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,159
and nerdy and tired.
424
00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:55,770
We looked exactly like...
425
00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:56,771
Like the Johnstons.
426
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:57,772
I was gonna say you two.
427
00:17:57,815 --> 00:17:59,730
But anyway,
428
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:03,125
your dad and I, we worked
our asses off for 35 years.
429
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,474
And the main thing
that kept us going
430
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,781
was the idea that someday
we could retire early
431
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:09,044
and have all the fun everyone
else had in their 20s.
432
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,655
Yeah, which we completely
missed out on because
433
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:15,703
we were the crazy knuckleheads
who decided to marry young
434
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:17,270
and have, you know,
435
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,315
a beautiful baby
right out of college.
436
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,753
Jake, are you crying?
437
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,409
Parents are people,
too, you know,
438
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,324
and you, like,
forget that sometimes.
439
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:31,240
Like when you'’re simulating
sex moves on the dance floor.
440
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:32,415
Okay.
441
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:36,245
He'’s just very tired.
We both are.
442
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,160
So, this is just a phase?
443
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,249
Yes, of course it is.Sure.
444
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:42,469
Until you two are ready
to make us grandparents,
445
00:18:42,512 --> 00:18:45,211
your dad and I are
living our lives by one rule:
446
00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:47,256
till death do we party.
447
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,171
We came up with that
in the cage.
448
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:50,694
Wait, w-what did you say?
449
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,132
There'’s a sex cage in there.No, no, no.
Your new rule.
450
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,698
Oh, till death do we party.
451
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,047
Wayne, that'’s an
amazing song title.
452
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:57,223
"Till Death Do We Party."
453
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,398
WAYNE:
Ah, the creative process,
454
00:18:58,441 --> 00:18:59,834
it'’s so fascinating.Yeah.
455
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,140
Now, the way I remember
this happening is
456
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:02,358
you guys were pretty drunk,
457
00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:04,186
and Cooper came up
with the song idea.
458
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,407
Great job, Cooper.
Come on.
459
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,627
Okay, well,
I guess the two of us
460
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,195
are gonna go back home
and go to sleep.
461
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:14,936
So... here'’s 20 bucks.
You guys have some fun.
462
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:17,417
[whooping]
463
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,593
Come on, Dad, that ass isn'’t
gonna back itself up.
464
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:20,768
Oh, yeah.
465
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:29,342
All right, I have written a song
for "Till Death Do We Party,"
466
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,605
and I would love to get
your honest opinion.
467
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:33,041
Yeah, all right.All right.
Right on.
468
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:33,911
Let'’s do this.COOPER:
Ready?
469
00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:36,044
[song inaudible]
470
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,220
Ah...
471
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:39,830
Hey, this is actually good.
472
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,704
I didn'’t mean to hit
"actually" so hard.
473
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,227
I'’m feeling the bass line, man.Yeah?
474
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,620
It'’s nice. Yeah.Yeah.
[chuckles]
475
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,056
♪ Ba da da
476
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,145
♪ Till death do we party
477
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,320
[laughs]
478
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:52,756
All right, now.Yeah.
479
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,931
I'’m kind of loving those
480
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,977
sexy moaning sounds
in the background.
481
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:56,760
Yeah, that'’s your mom.
482
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,461
Sick burn, man.
Crushed her.
483
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:02,375
That actually is Bonnie, though.
484
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:05,508
What'’s that, now?
485
00:20:05,552 --> 00:20:06,988
Yeah, when we were
recording the track,
486
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:07,945
she was in the studio
and just happened
487
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,469
to be making those noises,
488
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,122
so my producer said,
"Let'’s just lay it in
489
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:13,647
if we can'’t get her to stop."
490
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,518
Please tell me you'’re joking.
491
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:17,259
It'’s great, right?
And those, uh,
492
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:18,826
"Oh, yeah, give it
to me, baby..."
493
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:19,522
That'’s your dad.
494
00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:27,748
So, where is this
gonna be played?
495
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,271
My label loves it.
496
00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:30,794
It'’s gonna be all over
the radio this summer.
497
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,361
All over? Wow.Yeah.
498
00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:33,841
Eww.Every single radio?
499
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:36,278
Uh-huh.That'’s crazy, man.
500
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:38,280
Like, even this radio?If you turn it on.
501
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,239
That'’s nuts. Wow!Yeah.
502
00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:42,066
It'’s gonna be popular,
I bet,
503
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:43,764
on all the radios.I hope so.
504
00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:46,245
[grunting]
505
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:50,423
[continues grunting]
506
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:56,820
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
507
00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:58,169
It'’s a really great song,
though.JAKE: Yeah, we love it.
508
00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:05,612
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
35354
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