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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:54,456 Ôi, đến nơi rồi. 2 00:00:54,585 --> 00:00:56,541 Dạ, đến rồi. 3 00:01:00,145 --> 00:01:04,297 Ôi, Con trông chững chạc hẳn trong chiếc áo mới này. Con thấy không. 4 00:01:04,425 --> 00:01:06,097 - OK, Bones, Tự chăm sóc nhé. - Bây giờ... 5 00:01:08,625 --> 00:01:10,661 đây là vé xe bus của con. 6 00:01:10,785 --> 00:01:12,298 - Jonathon! - Argh! 7 00:01:12,425 --> 00:01:15,258 - Con tự chăm sóc cho mình nhéTake care of yourself. - Vâng. 8 00:01:15,385 --> 00:01:17,535 Gọi cho bố mẹ khi con đến nơi nhé, OK? 9 00:01:17,665 --> 00:01:19,223 Bố. 10 00:01:22,385 --> 00:01:26,298 - Gặp con trong kỳ nghỉ nhé. - Ôi, Mẹ rất tự hào về con! 11 00:01:26,425 --> 00:01:27,983 Mẹ. 12 00:02:11,825 --> 00:02:13,781 Chào. Cậu thế nào rồi'? 13 00:02:27,345 --> 00:02:30,701 - (Giọng con trai) Xem tên lập dị kìa. - (Cười lớn) 14 00:02:30,825 --> 00:02:33,658 - Áo khoác đẹp đấy! - Giống như trên Neptune ấy nhỉ? 15 00:02:41,785 --> 00:02:43,741 Dễ thương. Dễ thương thật. 16 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:47,502 - Cậu làm gì đấy'? - Chào, người mới. 17 00:03:03,665 --> 00:03:05,621 To thật, cái túi to thật. 18 00:03:07,105 --> 00:03:08,823 Ừ. 19 00:03:08,945 --> 00:03:11,095 năm mới, ý tưởng mới. 20 00:03:12,585 --> 00:03:14,940 (# "Overnite" by Toymuzic ) 21 00:03:15,865 --> 00:03:19,016 # Em sẽ ở lại với anh đêm nay 22 00:03:21,185 --> 00:03:24,336 # Em sẽ yêu anh đến hết đêm 23 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,023 Vào đi. 24 00:03:28,465 --> 00:03:30,217 - Chào! Cậu chắc là Jonathon! - Đúng rồi. 25 00:03:30,345 --> 00:03:32,734 Squire Franklin Burroughs IV. Gọi tớ là Skip. 26 00:03:32,865 --> 00:03:35,015 - Chào, Skip. - Tớ phụ cậu một tay nhé. 27 00:03:38,505 --> 00:03:40,939 Cái quái quỉ gì nặng thế? xác chết trong ấy à? 28 00:03:41,065 --> 00:03:43,295 Tớ nhét hết sách, quần áo, và toàn bộ những thứ khác. 29 00:03:43,425 --> 00:03:47,179 Năm rồi có một cậu giấu bạn gái trong một cái vali như thế này. 30 00:03:47,305 --> 00:03:49,216 - Thế à? - Cậu ta mất chìa khóa. 31 00:03:49,345 --> 00:03:51,779 Khi cậu ta tìm được, cô ấy đã chết. 32 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,534 Thật không? 33 00:03:53,665 --> 00:03:55,178 - Xạo cậu thôi. - Ôi, trời ạ! 34 00:03:55,305 --> 00:03:58,342 - Hân hạnh đến với học viện Vernon. - Số một đấy. 35 00:03:58,465 --> 00:04:00,899 Cậu ở giường bên này. 36 00:04:01,025 --> 00:04:03,539 Cậu chỉ mặc cái thứ lếch thếch này cả ngày sao. 37 00:04:03,945 --> 00:04:08,223 - Chưa ai bảo như thế cả. Tớ nghĩ ta nên... - Hãy xem như ở nhà đi. 38 00:04:08,825 --> 00:04:11,419 À, Cậu từ đâu đấn? Cậu học trường nào? 39 00:04:11,545 --> 00:04:15,823 À... Tớ lớn lên ở Pittsburgh, học trung học cộng đồng ở đó... 40 00:04:15,945 --> 00:04:17,981 Cứt thật, chúng ta muộn rồi! 41 00:04:18,105 --> 00:04:19,663 Muộn ư? 42 00:04:20,665 --> 00:04:23,259 Ái chà, Những thứ này là sao? Độc chưa, hả? 43 00:04:23,385 --> 00:04:26,183 Cậu biết đấy, những thứ chết tiệt này, tất cả là hàng Neiman Marcus đấy, 44 00:04:26,305 --> 00:04:30,139 nhưng tớ kiếm nó từ một cửa hàng khá ác liệt đấy, Cửa hàng Henri. Quyến rũ đấy chứ, hử? 45 00:04:30,265 --> 00:04:30,856 Ừ. 46 00:04:30,985 --> 00:04:34,136 Cậu biết đấy, Những thứ này mà không lấy giải nhất, trên đời này chẳng còn chúa đâu! 47 00:04:34,265 --> 00:04:36,779 - Thôi, thay đồ đi, nhanh lên. - Thay đồ hả? 48 00:04:39,025 --> 00:04:41,459 À, Tớ quên khuấy mất. Cậu chưa bao giờ học trường tư. 49 00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:42,779 Ừm-ừm. 50 00:04:42,905 --> 00:04:44,941 Cậu phải đấy tớ hấp dẫn một cách huyền bí không, hả? 51 00:04:45,065 --> 00:04:47,977 - Ừ... - Này nhé, đây là một truyền thống của trường Vernon. 52 00:04:48,105 --> 00:04:52,417 Hàng năm, những sinh viên mới nhập học sẽ diễu hành trong trang phục lót phụ nữ. 53 00:04:52,545 --> 00:04:56,743 Nó như là một bài học cho chúng ta về sự khiêm tốn. Sinh viên năm đầu sẽ phải căng thẳng trong suốt năm học, 54 00:04:56,865 --> 00:04:59,698 và đây là cơ hội để họ được vui đùa thoải mái. 55 00:05:01,505 --> 00:05:03,496 Ôi! Tớ chấp nhận thôi. 56 00:05:03,625 --> 00:05:06,093 - Cậu nghĩ là... - Được. 57 00:05:06,225 --> 00:05:09,183 Nhanh lên, đây là truyền thống nhá. À quên mất, cậu còn làm gì đấy? 58 00:05:09,305 --> 00:05:12,297 - À, không, Tớ phải lấy ít đồ ra cái. - Hãy để tớ suy nghĩ tí. 59 00:05:12,425 --> 00:05:15,098 - Đồ lừa cái! - Đồ lừa cái? Hey. Hey. 60 00:05:15,785 --> 00:05:18,936 Xem này. À! Ta gặp may rồi! 61 00:05:19,505 --> 00:05:22,463 - vật lưu niệm đấy. - Tớ không muốn mặc đồ phụ nữ... 62 00:05:22,585 --> 00:05:25,338 - Những thứ này không phải của tớ. - Tớ không muốn đồ của cậu đâu. 63 00:05:25,465 --> 00:05:29,458 Thôi được, cứ như vậy đi, cậu có thể không thắng giải, nhưng ít nhất cậu không phải ngượng. 64 00:05:29,585 --> 00:05:31,541 Thay đồ đi. 65 00:05:35,225 --> 00:05:36,943 Nhanh lên. 66 00:05:37,065 --> 00:05:38,180 - Đi nào. - Tớ không thể! 67 00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,261 Nhanh đi nào! 68 00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:45,822 Cậu phải nhanh lên, quý ông! Ta nhanh lên! Muộn mất! 69 00:05:46,585 --> 00:05:48,940 Thấy chưa. Cậu trông tuyệt chưa. Đi thôi. 70 00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:53,059 - Ôi trời, các cậu ơi! - Hãy xem "cô ta" kìa! 71 00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:58,176 - Skip?! Skip?! - Cậu trông độc đấy! Độc thật! 72 00:06:00,425 --> 00:06:02,814 Cưng có cặp mông dễ thương đấy! 73 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,982 ôi, màu đen huyền bí! Màu thích nhất của tớ đấy! 74 00:06:15,585 --> 00:06:17,735 Họ thích cậu đấy! 75 00:06:20,065 --> 00:06:22,818 Nào, xoay một vòng nào. Ôi, xem cặp vú kìa! 76 00:06:24,425 --> 00:06:27,656 (Đồng thanh) Cho xem ngực đi! Cho xem ngực đi! 77 00:06:29,105 --> 00:06:31,619 Này, Bộ cánh bên ngoài của "cưng" đâu rồi? 78 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:34,575 It's Frank-N-Furter! 79 00:06:34,705 --> 00:06:36,377 - Whoa! - Gotcha! 80 00:06:36,505 --> 00:06:42,182 - (boy #1 ) Hey, you've really fallen for him! - (boy #2) I'm gettin' a gigantic soft-on! 81 00:06:42,905 --> 00:06:45,260 Nó thật bé trong bộ áo tắn nhỉ! 82 00:06:51,625 --> 00:06:53,183 Chết tiệt! 83 00:06:55,345 --> 00:06:58,815 (Đồng thanh) Chúng tớ muốn xem nữa! chúng tớ muốn nữa cơ! 84 00:07:06,865 --> 00:07:10,619 Tớ xin lỗi. Tớ xin lỗi, Tớ biết đó là trò bẩn nhất. 85 00:07:10,745 --> 00:07:12,895 Look, don't take it personally. 86 00:07:14,305 --> 00:07:17,377 It really is a tradition. Somebody falls for it every year. 87 00:07:17,745 --> 00:07:22,455 No hard feelings, OK? Look, it was just a prank. Don't take it personally. 88 00:07:22,865 --> 00:07:24,696 OK? 89 00:07:24,825 --> 00:07:29,182 Tớ và cậu là bạn cùng phòng. Chúng ta sẽ ở chung nahu suốt cả năm. Hòa nhé? 90 00:07:31,105 --> 00:07:32,663 Hòa. 91 00:07:44,265 --> 00:07:47,462 (Giọng Pháp) "Cô ấy" đây rồi. Chắc anh yêu em rồi, cưng. 92 00:07:47,585 --> 00:07:49,621 - Hey, Chào "cưng". - (Jonathon) Ừ. 93 00:07:49,745 --> 00:07:53,943 - Chào quý cô, lịch khiêu vũ của cô đầy chưa? - I think she's in the wrong john. 94 00:07:55,145 --> 00:07:59,104 - Lights! - (boys) Fuck you, Roscoe! 95 00:07:59,225 --> 00:08:01,534 I said lights, nipple nose! 96 00:08:01,665 --> 00:08:04,054 That's Mr Nipple Nose to you, Maybaum! 97 00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:06,858 Shh! Quiet, here comes the walrus man. 98 00:08:13,425 --> 00:08:16,576 - Dạ chào, Mr Maybaum. - Dạ chào, thưa ông. 99 00:08:17,345 --> 00:08:19,779 - All present and accounted for. - Hmm. 100 00:08:21,985 --> 00:08:25,660 - Well, good night, then, Mr Maybaum. - Good night, sir. 101 00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:39,176 One more thing. If you have any trouble with the boys smoking, let me know. 102 00:08:39,305 --> 00:08:41,261 OK? 103 00:08:42,465 --> 00:08:44,421 Good night. 104 00:08:50,665 --> 00:08:53,816 (# "Holiday in Cambodia" by the Dead Kennedys) 105 00:09:14,785 --> 00:09:16,741 Hey, there he is. 106 00:09:18,105 --> 00:09:21,063 Hey, look, there's the geek in the lingerie. 107 00:09:21,825 --> 00:09:23,781 It's the guy in the woman's underwear! 108 00:09:23,905 --> 00:09:26,373 Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely April Pussy. 109 00:09:26,505 --> 00:09:28,575 Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Vernon. 110 00:09:29,745 --> 00:09:33,021 - Hi, darling! - Hey, Jonathon, over here! 111 00:09:37,025 --> 00:09:40,938 (French accent) Let me take you away from all this, my darling! 112 00:09:42,705 --> 00:09:45,299 - He cries real tears. - Come here. Sit here. 113 00:09:46,705 --> 00:09:49,060 Oh, let me wipe those tears! 114 00:09:50,945 --> 00:09:54,096 - Oh, God, what a tool. - We're talkin' megadork. 115 00:09:54,225 --> 00:09:55,783 Shut up! 116 00:09:55,905 --> 00:10:00,342 - What is going on over there? - They pulled the underwear gag on him. 117 00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:04,940 - (jeering) - (laughter) 118 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:10,137 - Going to change into your bra? - Don't forget to write! 119 00:10:10,265 --> 00:10:12,904 I'm tellin' you, that guy's a wimp. 120 00:10:17,865 --> 00:10:20,902 Hey, look, Jonathon, I think you've been ma... 121 00:10:21,745 --> 00:10:23,701 Oh, my God. 122 00:10:26,785 --> 00:10:28,423 Jesus! 123 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,103 Jesus! 124 00:10:32,305 --> 00:10:37,140 I dunno why he'd do it! Jesus, I dunno why he did it, it was just a joke! 125 00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:40,256 Hung himself! 126 00:10:40,865 --> 00:10:43,618 I dunno why he did it, but it's my fault... 127 00:10:44,985 --> 00:10:46,703 (siren) 128 00:10:54,185 --> 00:10:56,176 Is this meant to amuse me, Mr Burroughs? 129 00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:57,579 Quiet! 130 00:10:57,705 --> 00:11:00,378 Stop by my office about eight in the morning. 131 00:11:00,505 --> 00:11:05,784 You think about what you've done, and I'll think about what I'm going to do. 132 00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:10,934 Oh, and, um... please invite your dead roommate. 133 00:11:11,065 --> 00:11:13,420 All right, show's over. 134 00:11:20,425 --> 00:11:21,983 (laughter) 135 00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:40,302 I'm sorry. It was a lousy thing to do. But I was so humiliated I just had to kill myself. 136 00:11:43,265 --> 00:11:47,304 Oh, just a prank, just a prank. No hard feelings, huh? Truce. 137 00:11:50,665 --> 00:11:52,223 Truce. 138 00:11:54,945 --> 00:11:59,655 I'm not really ready for this conversation. I usually have at least a month 139 00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:02,743 before I am faced with students in women's underwear, 140 00:12:02,865 --> 00:12:07,336 or an artist's rendering of my persona dangling from the rafters. 141 00:12:07,465 --> 00:12:10,025 We're only in the first week, gentlemen. 142 00:12:10,145 --> 00:12:13,581 It's frightening to imagine what could happen by Christmas, isn't it? 143 00:12:13,705 --> 00:12:15,263 - Yes, sir. - Yes, sir. 144 00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:20,413 That was rhetorical, boys. I like to give everybody one chance to screw up. 145 00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:24,263 I think we can assume you've each had yours now. 146 00:12:24,385 --> 00:12:29,300 I hope this is the last such conversation I'll have with you until the end of the year. 147 00:12:29,425 --> 00:12:34,180 - No ifs, ands, or buts. Is that clear? - (both) Yes, sir. 148 00:12:35,945 --> 00:12:38,778 - We really gotta watch it. - We've gotta straighten up. 149 00:12:38,905 --> 00:12:42,295 - Be responsible. Toe the line. - Gotta clean up our act. Absolutely. 150 00:12:46,345 --> 00:12:49,462 They're never gonna sell it to us. It's never gonna work. 151 00:12:49,585 --> 00:12:52,145 - We're gonna get busted. - Shh. Relax. 152 00:12:59,225 --> 00:13:02,342 Which one of you youngsters is planning to buy this? 153 00:13:02,465 --> 00:13:05,218 - I am. - Oh, really? How old are you, son? 154 00:13:05,905 --> 00:13:07,941 50. 155 00:13:15,345 --> 00:13:17,415 You did it! 156 00:13:17,545 --> 00:13:20,821 I'm astounded by your brilliance and the magnitude of your gall. 157 00:13:20,945 --> 00:13:23,095 Yeah, so am I. 158 00:13:30,065 --> 00:13:32,420 This is something I've never told anyone, 159 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:36,333 so you've gotta swear to me what you hear will not leave this room. 160 00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:38,854 Swear to God. 161 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,021 - OK. - Swear to God! 162 00:13:41,825 --> 00:13:43,383 OK. 163 00:13:47,305 --> 00:13:49,535 I killed a guy. 164 00:13:49,665 --> 00:13:51,064 Yeah? (laughs) 165 00:13:51,185 --> 00:13:53,699 - I mean it, Jonathon. - Me, too. 166 00:13:54,865 --> 00:13:59,461 Last year, uh, I was in Montego Bay with some friends. 167 00:14:00,585 --> 00:14:03,224 And we were all in this bar. 168 00:14:03,345 --> 00:14:06,337 And I met this gorgeous girl. She takes me back to her place, 169 00:14:06,465 --> 00:14:08,854 and then some huge guy had a gun to my head. 170 00:14:09,185 --> 00:14:11,779 And my gorgeous gal, she's going through my pockets. 171 00:14:11,905 --> 00:14:14,544 I must've been drunk, cos I kicked the guy in the balls. 172 00:14:14,665 --> 00:14:19,614 And I went for the gun, and then the next thing I know, there's this huge explosion. 173 00:14:19,745 --> 00:14:21,701 And, uh... 174 00:14:23,985 --> 00:14:28,263 the guy was... lyin' on the ground 175 00:14:28,385 --> 00:14:31,138 with blood pourin' out of a hole in his head. 176 00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:39,698 - It was horrible. - Jesus. 177 00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:45,183 God. 178 00:14:47,585 --> 00:14:50,657 - What'd you do? - What do you think? I got the hell out. 179 00:14:55,585 --> 00:14:58,338 What's the worst thing you've ever done? 180 00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:03,418 - I cheated on my SAT. - I can smell bullshit a mile away. 181 00:15:03,545 --> 00:15:08,938 Hey! It cost me I 50 bucks. I bought the test. I had every answer goin' in. 182 00:15:10,905 --> 00:15:14,659 You cheated on the SAT? You cheated on the SAT?! 183 00:15:14,785 --> 00:15:16,138 Yeah. 184 00:15:16,865 --> 00:15:20,619 Christ, I love that! You're the smartest fuckin' guy in the whole school. 185 00:15:20,985 --> 00:15:24,261 Mr Scholarship. I mean, even Roger did OK on the SAT. 186 00:15:24,665 --> 00:15:28,817 It just so happens my whole life depends on my getting into Harvard. 187 00:15:28,945 --> 00:15:31,300 You really cheated on the SAT! 188 00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:35,375 It's pretty serious. 189 00:15:36,465 --> 00:15:38,581 Hey, you killed a guy. 190 00:15:41,225 --> 00:15:43,580 Well... not exactly. 191 00:15:45,825 --> 00:15:48,578 What do you mean, ''not exactly''? 192 00:15:48,705 --> 00:15:50,263 Huh? 193 00:15:55,505 --> 00:15:58,781 That son of a bitch got away with everything I had. 194 00:15:58,905 --> 00:16:01,863 Cậu biết đấy, Tớ sợ đến mức vãi trong quần. 195 00:16:14,665 --> 00:16:15,654 What an asshole. 196 00:16:15,785 --> 00:16:18,663 Oh, no, Kafka's symbolism here is obvious. 197 00:16:18,785 --> 00:16:21,458 The apple represents original sin. Yeah. 198 00:16:21,585 --> 00:16:25,624 It sticks in his side like Christ's wound and eventually festers and destroys him. 199 00:16:25,745 --> 00:16:30,182 No, no, no. What he's really saying is we're all cockroaches. 200 00:16:30,305 --> 00:16:32,694 - Later. - Này, đoán xem tối này cậu làm gì nhỉ. 201 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,497 - Học tiến Latin. - Vớ vẫn. 202 00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:38,777 Cậu sẽ có cuốc hẹn với với một ẻm xinh nhất ở Foxfield. 203 00:16:39,785 --> 00:16:41,741 - You didn't. - Oh, I did. I did. 204 00:16:41,865 --> 00:16:45,301 - I am not gonna be able to do this. - We are not gonna get caught. 205 00:16:45,425 --> 00:16:48,576 I'm not talkin' about that. I'm talkin' about the girls. 206 00:16:48,705 --> 00:16:52,937 - I've never done it before. - You've never done that before? 207 00:16:54,945 --> 00:16:57,903 Sure, I've done it. God! Lots of times. 208 00:16:58,025 --> 00:17:01,415 I mean, you know, not all the way every time, but... 209 00:17:02,705 --> 00:17:04,661 I feel sick. 210 00:17:05,705 --> 00:17:09,015 You've got nothin' to worry about. These are very nice girls. 211 00:17:09,145 --> 00:17:11,500 I might not even get laid tonight. 212 00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:17,301 Although that's highly unlikely. Turn off the light. 213 00:17:18,465 --> 00:17:22,424 We're gonna get caught. You know what they're gonna do if they catch us? 214 00:17:22,545 --> 00:17:26,663 Sure. But it doesn't hold a candle to what the girls are gonna do. 215 00:17:26,785 --> 00:17:27,456 Oh, God. 216 00:17:29,905 --> 00:17:31,657 (watch bleeps) 217 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:35,815 Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! 218 00:17:35,945 --> 00:17:38,095 (distant) Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! 219 00:17:38,785 --> 00:17:41,458 Hoo-hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo! 220 00:17:41,985 --> 00:17:46,695 - (distant) Hoo-hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo! - Oh, I don't believe this. 221 00:17:46,825 --> 00:17:50,022 - (giggles) - Don't worry. 222 00:17:50,545 --> 00:17:52,820 Here they are. Right on time. 223 00:17:54,985 --> 00:17:57,135 - Hey. - (both) Hi! 224 00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,743 (# "Stand in the Shadows" by Line One) 225 00:18:02,025 --> 00:18:05,574 They want to work, it's just we haven't given them the opportunities. 226 00:18:05,705 --> 00:18:08,538 Poor people are just like you and me, except with no money. 227 00:18:08,665 --> 00:18:12,021 They have so many kids, they can't get out from under. 228 00:18:12,145 --> 00:18:15,421 We've been educated. We use birth control. 229 00:18:15,545 --> 00:18:19,584 Nobody gives a damn. Their situation will never change until we do something. 230 00:18:19,705 --> 00:18:20,455 (grunts) 231 00:18:20,585 --> 00:18:23,418 - You don't agree? - No. No, I, uh... 232 00:18:26,865 --> 00:18:29,015 (Skip) Jesus! Jesus! 233 00:18:29,145 --> 00:18:32,740 Jesus Christ, Jonathon, I don't believe it! Oh, God! 234 00:18:32,865 --> 00:18:35,823 It's the grossest thing I ever saw! It's on my skirt! 235 00:18:50,585 --> 00:18:54,339 You know, deep down inside, I really think they liked me. 236 00:18:59,025 --> 00:19:00,583 Jonathon! 237 00:19:02,545 --> 00:19:05,855 - Guess what I just did for you. - I don't wanna know. 238 00:19:05,985 --> 00:19:07,941 Welcome aboard, Mr Secretary. 239 00:19:08,345 --> 00:19:12,941 Secretary of the Dance Committee is bullshit. It's an excuse to get outta class. 240 00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:17,178 That's only one of its positive aspects. The best part is there's five of us, 241 00:19:17,305 --> 00:19:19,421 and 479 of them. 242 00:19:20,105 --> 00:19:22,061 Let's get 'em. 243 00:19:33,745 --> 00:19:38,136 - Oh-ho, look at the chest on her. - (French accent) Oh, the little girls. 244 00:19:38,585 --> 00:19:40,303 - Chicks. - Love 'em. 245 00:19:40,425 --> 00:19:41,983 Whoo! 246 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:47,941 - Hi. Welcome to Foxfield. - Love the fat girl! Ooh, the big fat one. 247 00:19:50,585 --> 00:19:53,736 This is the way we think it should go. Just before the last dance, 248 00:19:53,865 --> 00:19:57,824 our Mrs DeBreul and your Mr Kennedy will present the prize for best costume. 249 00:19:57,945 --> 00:20:01,574 - Can we just say something? - We think this costume thing is childish. 250 00:20:01,705 --> 00:20:04,173 What?! But it's a Halloween dance! 251 00:20:04,305 --> 00:20:06,978 There are more important things than Halloween. 252 00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:09,255 There are people starving! 253 00:20:09,385 --> 00:20:12,457 Lisa, why don't you offer our guests some sandwiches? 254 00:20:12,585 --> 00:20:16,021 A Halloween dance without any costumes is like every other dance! 255 00:20:16,145 --> 00:20:20,457 I think any dance is inappropriate considering the condition of the world. 256 00:20:20,585 --> 00:20:24,498 I am so tired of you two and your pseudo-intellectual liberal crap! 257 00:20:24,625 --> 00:20:27,264 - Julia! - Your cotton-candy ideas make me sick! 258 00:20:27,385 --> 00:20:28,215 - Lisa! - Hi. 259 00:20:28,345 --> 00:20:30,097 Oh, no! 260 00:20:30,225 --> 00:20:31,135 (Jonathon) Agh! 261 00:20:31,265 --> 00:20:32,983 - Lisa! - I'm sorry. 262 00:20:33,105 --> 00:20:35,016 Stay away from me! Oh, fuck! 263 00:20:35,145 --> 00:20:37,500 - Lisa! - Oh, fuck! 264 00:20:37,625 --> 00:20:39,024 You peon! 265 00:20:43,345 --> 00:20:45,176 Oh! Oh! 266 00:20:51,185 --> 00:20:55,861 Let's leave it up to the individual as to whether he or she wears a costume. 267 00:20:57,825 --> 00:20:59,019 What do you think, Jonathon? 268 00:20:59,145 --> 00:21:01,534 I'm terribly sorry, Mrs DeBreul. 269 00:21:02,825 --> 00:21:04,975 Yes, it was most unfortunate. 270 00:21:07,025 --> 00:21:09,619 The vase was a gift from Eleanor Roosevelt? 271 00:21:09,745 --> 00:21:13,499 Irreplaceable. No, I don't think that's being too extreme, not at all. 272 00:21:13,625 --> 00:21:17,982 As a matter of fact, I think you're being quite generous. Goodbye. 273 00:21:22,305 --> 00:21:25,661 Well, Mr Burroughs, you and your dance committee 274 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:29,619 have really made an indelible impression on our sister school. 275 00:21:30,265 --> 00:21:32,221 And especially you, Mr Ogner. 276 00:21:32,585 --> 00:21:36,021 Not only are you forbidden to attend the Halloween dance, 277 00:21:36,145 --> 00:21:39,740 but you are the first student in the history of Vernon Academy 278 00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:46,100 ever to be banned from Foxfield until, and I quote, ''the day you die''. 279 00:21:46,225 --> 00:21:48,375 On your way, gentlemen. 280 00:21:56,145 --> 00:21:58,136 The white zone is for unloading... 281 00:21:58,265 --> 00:22:00,620 Banished from Foxfield for ever! 282 00:22:01,785 --> 00:22:04,458 The only females within 100 miles. 283 00:22:05,585 --> 00:22:09,737 - Guess you're gonna die a virgin, buddy! - Give me some of that. 284 00:22:10,745 --> 00:22:14,260 - Here you go, pal, Mr Alligator. - You wanna buy a shirt? 285 00:22:14,385 --> 00:22:16,535 (brass chorale music ) 286 00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:20,983 Ta-da! 287 00:22:24,865 --> 00:22:27,220 You look troubled, my son. 288 00:22:37,545 --> 00:22:42,619 Worriest thou not about being banished for ever from the Foxfield school for girls, 289 00:22:42,745 --> 00:22:46,215 for yea, though they are the only females within 100 miles, 290 00:22:46,345 --> 00:22:49,257 there is still a place where thou canst journey to. 291 00:22:49,385 --> 00:22:51,376 Chicago, on the nine o'clock bus. 292 00:22:51,825 --> 00:22:54,385 - Forget it. - Desperate circumstances 293 00:22:54,505 --> 00:22:58,020 require desperate measures. Sexually, you're finished around here. 294 00:22:58,145 --> 00:23:01,023 - Must you rub it in? - Look, take this ticket. 295 00:23:01,145 --> 00:23:05,661 Go to Rush Street, the Free N Easy Club. And you will meet the girl of your dreams. 296 00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:10,336 If she ain't there, take what you can get. Grab a cab, take her to Grey's Lake Inn. 297 00:23:10,465 --> 00:23:14,140 And there you will plant your seed in the Garden of Eden. 298 00:23:16,705 --> 00:23:18,855 - Here's 100 bucks. - Forget it. 299 00:23:18,985 --> 00:23:22,295 Jonathon! Until you get laid, none of us are safe! 300 00:23:24,745 --> 00:23:28,340 And whatever you do, Jesus, don't tell her you're in high school. 301 00:23:28,465 --> 00:23:30,740 - Tell her you're a longshoreman. - What? 302 00:23:30,865 --> 00:23:34,778 - Say you're a theatre critic for the Times. - Yeah. That's better. 303 00:23:34,905 --> 00:23:38,534 You're going. I don't want to see your ass back here until you succeed. 304 00:23:38,665 --> 00:23:42,453 In fact, I'm not gonna let you in the room until you bring me... her panties. 305 00:23:42,585 --> 00:23:44,780 Oh, come on. Look, Skip, I'm not like you. 306 00:23:44,905 --> 00:23:47,738 I don't have your charm, your finesse, your, uh... 307 00:23:47,865 --> 00:23:50,937 - Class. - Whatever. I'm no good with women. 308 00:23:51,545 --> 00:23:54,981 I know that, you know that. The broads that go to the Free N Easy don't. 309 00:23:55,105 --> 00:23:58,461 Look, Jonathon, you're a great guy. 310 00:23:58,865 --> 00:24:03,143 You've got a lot going for you. Hey, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. 311 00:24:03,265 --> 00:24:06,382 Well, I might say it if I didn't mean it, but probably not to you. 312 00:24:06,505 --> 00:24:08,461 Come on, let's go! 313 00:24:09,625 --> 00:24:11,581 (chicken noises) 314 00:24:12,185 --> 00:24:14,540 I'd lend you some money, but I'm a little short. 315 00:24:14,665 --> 00:24:18,340 Get this one for the Gipper. Come on, you guys, let's go! 316 00:24:21,505 --> 00:24:23,302 - Bless you. - Yeah, bless you. 317 00:24:23,425 --> 00:24:27,100 To the Promised Land, my son. To the Promised Land. 318 00:24:30,265 --> 00:24:34,224 Hey, Jesus, I got a great deal on some alligator shoes, buddy. 319 00:25:32,585 --> 00:25:35,543 (# "Hiding From Love" by Bryan Adams) 320 00:25:38,465 --> 00:25:42,822 # You can't deny it, you're only hiding from love 321 00:25:47,585 --> 00:25:49,143 Bartender! 322 00:25:49,865 --> 00:25:51,423 Sir! 323 00:25:51,945 --> 00:25:56,097 # You say you're shy, but you're only hiding from love 324 00:26:15,825 --> 00:26:17,816 - Watch it! - Sorry. 325 00:26:18,865 --> 00:26:23,302 # You're not deciding, you're only hiding from love 326 00:26:25,945 --> 00:26:29,096 Hi. My name is Jonathon. What's yours? 327 00:26:30,505 --> 00:26:34,259 Mind if I join you? So, do you live around here? 328 00:26:39,025 --> 00:26:43,303 # You say that you're shy, but you're only hiding from love 329 00:26:48,305 --> 00:26:50,455 Maybe another time. 330 00:26:56,945 --> 00:26:58,697 Oh, man! 331 00:26:58,825 --> 00:27:02,340 - Bartender! - Hold your horses! Be right with you. 332 00:27:09,025 --> 00:27:10,140 - Go! - Go! 333 00:27:10,265 --> 00:27:13,735 One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six... 334 00:27:14,505 --> 00:27:16,894 - Oh, man! - How did I do? 335 00:27:17,025 --> 00:27:20,062 - I could do better than that. - Oh, she could do better than that! 336 00:27:20,185 --> 00:27:22,460 Ten bucks. Ten bucks. Ten bucks. 337 00:27:24,585 --> 00:27:27,338 - Hey, you're gonna lose some money! - Ellen! 338 00:27:28,225 --> 00:27:31,376 - Ready for takeoff now? - Ready. Wait, wait, wait. 339 00:27:31,505 --> 00:27:32,984 Get ready, get set, go! 340 00:27:33,105 --> 00:27:38,623 (all) One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten! 341 00:27:41,945 --> 00:27:43,901 Pay up. 342 00:27:47,145 --> 00:27:49,101 Drinks for the losers. 343 00:27:58,745 --> 00:28:00,701 Nice little profit. 344 00:28:02,665 --> 00:28:05,020 - This one's on the house. - Thanks. 345 00:28:14,825 --> 00:28:16,781 Are you here alone? 346 00:28:17,345 --> 00:28:19,620 - Huh? - Are you here alone? 347 00:28:19,745 --> 00:28:20,780 Yeah. 348 00:28:20,905 --> 00:28:24,500 You know, I get a really good feeling from you. 349 00:28:24,625 --> 00:28:26,980 - You do? - Mm-hm. Gimme your hand. 350 00:28:30,905 --> 00:28:32,896 You got a very exciting aura. 351 00:28:33,745 --> 00:28:35,781 I bet you hear that all the time. 352 00:28:35,905 --> 00:28:38,260 Well... now and again. 353 00:28:38,385 --> 00:28:40,853 - Let me test it. - What? 354 00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:44,261 Your aura. Take this quarter. Close your eyes. 355 00:28:45,745 --> 00:28:49,215 See if you can run the quarter from your forehead to your chin, 356 00:28:49,345 --> 00:28:50,858 and then from ear to ear, 357 00:28:50,985 --> 00:28:54,136 but without ever losing contact with your skin. 358 00:28:54,265 --> 00:28:57,701 - That's it? - It'll tell us everything we need to know. 359 00:29:15,865 --> 00:29:17,981 Can I have my...? Yes. Thanks. 360 00:29:20,425 --> 00:29:22,620 How'd I do? 361 00:29:22,745 --> 00:29:25,942 I'm sorry. I guess the vibes just weren't right. 362 00:29:38,705 --> 00:29:40,980 Wow. Look, you got two fours! 363 00:29:50,385 --> 00:29:52,455 Excuse me. 364 00:29:54,465 --> 00:29:57,298 - Could I... show you something? - Sure. 365 00:30:04,425 --> 00:30:06,541 Oh, God! 366 00:30:06,665 --> 00:30:10,419 - Why am I such a turd? - It could happen to anyone here. 367 00:30:11,465 --> 00:30:15,583 - Vodka tonic, please. - Only a dick would fall for that. 368 00:30:15,705 --> 00:30:17,821 Well, you might be right. 369 00:30:21,745 --> 00:30:23,701 Yeah, I should... 370 00:30:28,225 --> 00:30:29,977 Uh... thanks. 371 00:30:32,105 --> 00:30:33,663 If you'll excuse me... 372 00:30:33,785 --> 00:30:38,381 I'm gonna find a very tall building with a fabulous view, and jump off. 373 00:30:45,065 --> 00:30:47,340 Trailways bus terminal, please. 374 00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:55,735 I know just the tall building. 375 00:31:05,145 --> 00:31:06,498 Whoo! 376 00:31:17,145 --> 00:31:20,376 - Why don't you come back over here? - Why don't you come over here? 377 00:31:20,505 --> 00:31:24,578 - No, I'm... I'm comfortable right here. - What are you afraid of? 378 00:31:25,025 --> 00:31:26,981 Uh... dying. 379 00:31:28,905 --> 00:31:33,057 Uh, look, I wanna be totally honest here. You're scarin' the hell outta me. 380 00:31:34,425 --> 00:31:39,180 Hey, I just thought of somethin'. I haven't eaten. What about you? Are you hungry? 381 00:31:39,305 --> 00:31:42,695 What do you say? I could... I could buy us dinner. 382 00:31:46,665 --> 00:31:48,895 Now I am gonna jump. 383 00:31:49,025 --> 00:31:52,381 - It's only money. - Yeah, well, it's my only money. 384 00:31:54,425 --> 00:31:57,861 Have you ever... have you ever been in love? 385 00:31:58,225 --> 00:32:01,774 - Yeah, I was pretty fond of that $100 bill. - Have you? 386 00:32:07,265 --> 00:32:09,460 You're askin' me, the turd? 387 00:32:09,585 --> 00:32:13,260 Well, you look like a pretty... sensitive turd to me. 388 00:32:15,465 --> 00:32:18,582 Do you think there's something wrong with me? 389 00:32:22,585 --> 00:32:25,543 Well, how do I know? I mean, I don't know you. 390 00:32:26,425 --> 00:32:28,381 We can fix that. 391 00:32:31,625 --> 00:32:36,335 Yeah, are you hungry? Cos I am pretty hungry. You could buy us dinner. 392 00:32:36,465 --> 00:32:38,615 OK, so what do you wanna eat? 393 00:32:40,505 --> 00:32:41,779 Um... 394 00:32:41,905 --> 00:32:44,135 do you like Italian? 395 00:32:44,265 --> 00:32:45,015 Uh... 396 00:32:45,145 --> 00:32:46,703 Chinese? 397 00:33:06,105 --> 00:33:07,458 Uh... 398 00:33:08,305 --> 00:33:11,024 - This is an elevator. - Really? 399 00:33:11,145 --> 00:33:13,101 I love elevators. 400 00:33:13,745 --> 00:33:16,020 I think they're just wonderful. 401 00:33:17,105 --> 00:33:20,063 I love the way they go up and down. 402 00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:25,298 - Do you? - Oh, yeah, I think it's great. 403 00:33:28,585 --> 00:33:30,541 Which do you prefer? 404 00:33:31,825 --> 00:33:33,781 Going up... 405 00:33:35,265 --> 00:33:37,221 or going down? 406 00:33:37,945 --> 00:33:39,503 Um... 407 00:33:40,185 --> 00:33:42,460 - Up is fine. - Really? 408 00:33:43,865 --> 00:33:46,379 I think going down is much more exciting. 409 00:33:47,265 --> 00:33:50,701 Well, yeah, now that you mention it, down is, uh... 410 00:33:52,225 --> 00:33:55,820 Of course, going up... can be... a thrill. 411 00:33:56,625 --> 00:33:58,183 It depends. 412 00:33:59,585 --> 00:34:01,496 That's what I think. 413 00:34:05,025 --> 00:34:06,856 (Ellen) Wait. 414 00:34:06,985 --> 00:34:09,658 Yeah, up is... Down is... 415 00:34:19,945 --> 00:34:23,654 - Wait, uh... Wait, where...? Where's the...? - (bell rings) 416 00:34:23,785 --> 00:34:25,935 No, at the back. At the back. 417 00:34:26,265 --> 00:34:27,903 Oh, yeah. 418 00:34:42,065 --> 00:34:44,215 - Oh, God! - Oh, God, I'm so hot. 419 00:34:47,305 --> 00:34:50,820 Wouldn't you prefer... doing this... lying down? 420 00:34:50,945 --> 00:34:53,095 Uh... yeah, sure. Whatever. 421 00:34:55,225 --> 00:34:57,864 Or maybe... you prefer doing it standing up. 422 00:34:58,185 --> 00:34:59,937 Um... 423 00:35:00,065 --> 00:35:02,420 Um... I think I better lie down. 424 00:35:18,505 --> 00:35:20,939 Look, just... just slow down. Just slow down. 425 00:35:21,065 --> 00:35:23,021 - OK. - Kiss me. 426 00:35:24,825 --> 00:35:26,781 Jonathon... Stop, my hair's stuck. 427 00:35:26,905 --> 00:35:30,102 - Oh. Sorry. OK. - That's better. That's better. 428 00:35:31,865 --> 00:35:35,141 - Oh, what's...? Wait a minute. The sheet. - Oh. Sorry. OK. 429 00:35:36,705 --> 00:35:39,219 - How are you doing? - Oh, good! Good! 430 00:35:40,105 --> 00:35:41,060 Aren't I? 431 00:35:41,185 --> 00:35:43,653 Maybe something's happened to him. 432 00:35:43,785 --> 00:35:47,824 - I thought he'd be back by Friday. - I can't keep covering for him. 433 00:35:47,945 --> 00:35:49,537 - Where is he? - How should I know? 434 00:35:49,665 --> 00:35:52,020 You sent the little douche bag to Rush Street! 435 00:35:52,145 --> 00:35:54,864 - Oh, shut up, you clone. - Up your tube, geek. 436 00:35:54,985 --> 00:35:57,545 - I'm telling Kennedy. - Very honourable, Skip. 437 00:35:57,665 --> 00:35:59,656 It's been nice knowin' ya. 438 00:36:00,185 --> 00:36:02,301 Where the hell have you been? 439 00:36:07,945 --> 00:36:10,095 - (wolf-whistling) - (cheering) 440 00:36:14,345 --> 00:36:16,700 Very impressive, Mr Ogner. 441 00:36:17,825 --> 00:36:20,259 - In a fucking elevator? - That was the first time. 442 00:36:21,025 --> 00:36:22,936 I can't stand it! 443 00:36:23,065 --> 00:36:27,183 Oh, it was stuck... between the 51st and 52nd floor. 444 00:36:29,425 --> 00:36:31,700 - How old is she? - Oh, God... 445 00:36:32,825 --> 00:36:34,781 mid-thirties. 446 00:36:35,785 --> 00:36:38,219 Oh, God. God! 447 00:36:39,665 --> 00:36:42,418 A fucking elevator! Fucking ele... Whoa! 448 00:36:43,625 --> 00:36:46,901 Now let's each of us take a moment to look within ourselves, 449 00:36:47,025 --> 00:36:49,493 and ask for guidance... 450 00:36:49,625 --> 00:36:51,581 and strength. 451 00:36:52,745 --> 00:36:54,701 - Our heavenly Father... - How big? 452 00:36:55,025 --> 00:36:58,097 ..may you look down on each and every one of us 453 00:36:58,225 --> 00:37:00,580 and give us the will, 454 00:37:00,705 --> 00:37:04,061 the purity of mind, to follow your way. 455 00:37:04,185 --> 00:37:07,336 - What's her name? - Ellen. 456 00:37:07,465 --> 00:37:11,743 She's a fashion designer. Told her I'm at Northwestern workin' on my PhD. 457 00:37:11,865 --> 00:37:14,504 And she bought it? And you really...? 458 00:37:14,625 --> 00:37:15,944 Mm-hm. 459 00:37:16,065 --> 00:37:18,738 - Jesus! And she really...? - Mm-hm. 460 00:37:18,865 --> 00:37:21,060 - Jesus! - Hey, you wanna be careful? 461 00:37:21,185 --> 00:37:22,584 Aw, man. 462 00:37:30,265 --> 00:37:32,221 Hey! There he is! 463 00:37:33,065 --> 00:37:35,784 - Mr Porno! - Yeah, the Rush Street Casanova! 464 00:37:36,145 --> 00:37:39,455 - Hey, he's a sex machine. - The guy is an animal. 465 00:37:39,985 --> 00:37:43,898 It's Dick Man! Able to leap long fences at a single bound! 466 00:37:44,025 --> 00:37:46,255 Yes, Dick Man! 467 00:37:47,465 --> 00:37:49,421 Oh, you lady-killer! 468 00:38:11,145 --> 00:38:13,375 OK. See ya Monday. 469 00:38:13,505 --> 00:38:16,417 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Listen to this. 470 00:38:16,745 --> 00:38:22,024 ''One out of every two males experiences impotence at least once in his late teens.'' 471 00:38:22,145 --> 00:38:24,295 One out of two. Holy shit. 472 00:38:25,345 --> 00:38:28,417 Well, have a swell weekend. Give Ellen my love. 473 00:38:28,545 --> 00:38:30,183 (Ellen) Oh! 474 00:38:30,305 --> 00:38:31,863 Oh! 475 00:39:02,185 --> 00:39:03,903 Oh, Jonathon. 476 00:39:04,025 --> 00:39:05,981 (Jonathon) Mm. 477 00:39:31,865 --> 00:39:35,938 Let's do it again. What do you think? Hm? What do you think? 478 00:40:51,185 --> 00:40:53,540 - Are you ready? - Mm-hm. 479 00:40:58,785 --> 00:41:01,140 It's called an instant margarita. 480 00:41:01,865 --> 00:41:04,140 - Ready when you are. - Open. 481 00:41:09,345 --> 00:41:10,903 Swallow. 482 00:41:11,345 --> 00:41:12,903 Swallow! 483 00:41:14,065 --> 00:41:16,943 Do you want some water? Do you want some water? Open. 484 00:41:17,065 --> 00:41:19,374 - Do you want more? - Cut it out! 485 00:41:19,505 --> 00:41:22,463 - Just tryin' to help! - You're dealin' with an animal here. 486 00:41:22,585 --> 00:41:25,019 - Oh, my. - All right, no more Mr Nice Guy. 487 00:41:25,145 --> 00:41:27,136 - Oh, my God. - What? 488 00:41:28,185 --> 00:41:31,973 That's it! You wanna play rough? Huh? You wanna play rough? 489 00:41:45,945 --> 00:41:47,901 I love you. 490 00:41:54,705 --> 00:41:58,061 (Jonathon) A lot of people ruin a good thing with pressure and strings. 491 00:41:58,185 --> 00:42:00,062 They suffocate each other. 492 00:42:00,185 --> 00:42:04,144 I don't want that kind of relationship. I don't think you do, either. 493 00:42:04,265 --> 00:42:06,984 You know, Ellen, when I said I loved you, 494 00:42:08,145 --> 00:42:11,535 I didn't mean for you to get the impression that I actually love you. 495 00:42:11,865 --> 00:42:15,141 It's a cliche one falls back on in this situation. 496 00:42:17,025 --> 00:42:20,097 What I was trying to say is, I very much like you, 497 00:42:20,225 --> 00:42:23,456 but we shouldn't exaggerate the significance of that. 498 00:42:23,585 --> 00:42:26,179 It's... We have a good time together. 499 00:42:29,825 --> 00:42:32,498 Next weekend, why don't I come up? 500 00:42:32,625 --> 00:42:35,378 - Up? - Yeah. To Northwestern. 501 00:42:38,465 --> 00:42:40,615 We'll stay at your place. 502 00:42:41,505 --> 00:42:43,655 My place? At Northwestern? 503 00:42:44,505 --> 00:42:48,817 Yeah, great. That's a great idea. When do you wanna come up? 504 00:42:48,945 --> 00:42:50,776 Next weekend. 505 00:42:50,905 --> 00:42:53,419 Uh, yeah, next weekend I won't be there. 506 00:42:53,545 --> 00:42:55,695 I'll be, uh... I'll be in the city. 507 00:42:56,465 --> 00:42:59,218 - Oh. Chicago? - Yeah. No! No, New York. 508 00:42:59,345 --> 00:43:01,495 I have to attend a seminar. 509 00:43:02,625 --> 00:43:06,538 Well, that's even better. We'll have a great time. 510 00:43:07,305 --> 00:43:11,423 - In New York? - We'll do the romantic bullshit routine. 511 00:43:11,545 --> 00:43:14,742 (Jonathon) We'll have a great time. In New York. 512 00:43:23,225 --> 00:43:24,943 - Wake up, limp dick! - (groans) 513 00:43:25,065 --> 00:43:29,536 Oh, rise and shine. Come on, you're gonna be late for chapel. 514 00:43:29,665 --> 00:43:32,657 - Let's go! - I'm going, I'm going, I'm going. 515 00:43:32,785 --> 00:43:34,184 Jesus! 516 00:43:34,305 --> 00:43:35,658 What? 517 00:43:35,785 --> 00:43:37,741 You look horrible. 518 00:43:39,785 --> 00:43:41,935 Oh, I don't believe it. 519 00:43:42,065 --> 00:43:44,101 What now? 520 00:43:44,225 --> 00:43:46,341 New York. 521 00:43:46,465 --> 00:43:48,456 I told her I'd meet her in New York. 522 00:43:48,585 --> 00:43:52,863 In New York? Jesus, you're... What, do you love this chick? Huh? 523 00:43:53,865 --> 00:43:57,824 Does she know you love her? No, really, does she know you love her? 524 00:43:57,945 --> 00:44:00,937 Does she know you've gone completely off the deep end? 525 00:44:01,065 --> 00:44:04,262 All's I know is, I gotta find a seminar in New York. 526 00:44:52,425 --> 00:44:54,541 What are we doing? 527 00:44:55,185 --> 00:44:59,224 - Getting rid of that eyesore. - I happen to like this eyesore. 528 00:45:01,105 --> 00:45:02,333 (salesman clears throat) 529 00:45:02,465 --> 00:45:06,504 - May I help you? - Could we try this jacket in his size? 530 00:45:08,105 --> 00:45:09,060 39 regular? 531 00:45:09,185 --> 00:45:13,656 We're not getting rid of it entirely, we're just giving it a much-needed rest. 532 00:45:14,265 --> 00:45:16,301 - Sir? - Uh-huh. 533 00:45:16,425 --> 00:45:18,381 - Ma'am. - OK. 534 00:45:20,025 --> 00:45:21,981 All right. 535 00:45:23,985 --> 00:45:25,941 (salesman) Very nice. 536 00:45:27,025 --> 00:45:30,381 - What do you think? - Very distinguished. 537 00:45:31,145 --> 00:45:33,534 - Now slacks. - Mm-hm. May I suggest, uh... 538 00:45:33,665 --> 00:45:36,304 Grey flannel. 539 00:45:36,425 --> 00:45:37,699 31 . 540 00:45:37,825 --> 00:45:39,656 Uh, 30. 541 00:45:39,785 --> 00:45:45,655 - What are you saying about my trousers? - They speak for themselves. 542 00:45:45,785 --> 00:45:48,345 Sir, you'll find the dressing room right over there. 543 00:45:48,465 --> 00:45:50,456 Thank you. 544 00:46:25,065 --> 00:46:26,623 Ellen? 545 00:46:30,145 --> 00:46:32,101 Shit. Shit! 546 00:46:32,225 --> 00:46:33,544 - Sir. Sir! - (alarm) 547 00:46:37,465 --> 00:46:39,183 Ellen! Ellen! 548 00:46:39,305 --> 00:46:43,344 - Where do you think you're going? - I have to catch her! Ellen! 549 00:46:47,705 --> 00:46:49,218 Come on. 550 00:46:49,345 --> 00:46:51,301 Come on. 551 00:47:01,945 --> 00:47:03,503 (horn) 552 00:47:11,145 --> 00:47:13,101 Hiya, tiger. 553 00:47:18,945 --> 00:47:21,061 What am I gonna do? 554 00:47:21,185 --> 00:47:25,940 I don't know her number. I don't know her address. I don't even know her last name. 555 00:47:26,065 --> 00:47:28,215 Knew her pretty well, did you? 556 00:47:30,985 --> 00:47:36,298 I'm sorry. Look, she was bound to find out about it sooner or later. 557 00:47:36,425 --> 00:47:39,542 Yeah. I just wish it was later, you know. 558 00:47:41,585 --> 00:47:43,018 Christ. 559 00:47:45,745 --> 00:47:48,896 Hey! You gonna spend the rest of your life in bed? 560 00:47:51,545 --> 00:47:56,573 Don't you think you're takin' this a little hard? You've gotta go to dinner. 561 00:47:56,745 --> 00:47:59,100 I can't believe you'd forgo eggplant surprise. 562 00:47:59,225 --> 00:48:03,104 - I'm not hungry. - That's no reason not to eat the shit. 563 00:48:03,225 --> 00:48:05,420 Coming or not? Last chance. 564 00:48:11,905 --> 00:48:13,861 One more chance. 565 00:48:20,225 --> 00:48:22,739 This is your final and last chance. 566 00:48:23,625 --> 00:48:25,820 Leave me alone! 567 00:48:25,945 --> 00:48:30,302 I'll leave you alone. You don't wanna do anything. You don't wanna... 568 00:48:32,425 --> 00:48:34,381 What a jerk! 569 00:48:40,105 --> 00:48:42,255 Very well done, Mr Jenkins. 570 00:48:43,585 --> 00:48:46,418 Extraordinarily average, Mr Maybaum. 571 00:48:46,545 --> 00:48:48,695 Very nice, Mr Jackson. 572 00:48:50,785 --> 00:48:53,140 Very perceptive, Mr Burroughs. 573 00:48:55,745 --> 00:48:57,895 Too vague, Mr Goobser. 574 00:48:58,745 --> 00:49:03,261 We have something really mediocre here, Mr Ogner. Let's not keep it up. 575 00:49:03,985 --> 00:49:06,624 Offended all my sensibilities, Mr Ruskin. 576 00:49:08,265 --> 00:49:09,220 (bell rings) 577 00:49:09,345 --> 00:49:11,461 Hey, Jonathon, wait up! 578 00:49:12,185 --> 00:49:15,097 A C-plus - now you've got something to be depressed about. 579 00:49:15,225 --> 00:49:18,262 - Even Roger got a B-minus. - I don't give a shit. 580 00:49:21,465 --> 00:49:26,539 What'll you do for Christmas? Crucify yourself? I think you're missing the point. 581 00:49:26,665 --> 00:49:27,939 - Do you? - I do. 582 00:49:28,065 --> 00:49:31,774 She was beautiful. She was wonderful. But a fuck... It's just a fuck. 583 00:49:31,905 --> 00:49:35,978 - Sometimes you're a real asshole. - You're not the first guy to be dumped on. 584 00:49:36,105 --> 00:49:40,735 One thing I don't need right now is the world according to Skippy here. 585 00:49:41,705 --> 00:49:44,424 Do us both a favour, huh? Just shut up. 586 00:49:45,105 --> 00:49:47,061 OK, Mr Depth. 587 00:49:48,945 --> 00:49:50,981 - Wallow in it. - (bell rings) 588 00:49:55,625 --> 00:49:57,741 - Dammit, Roger, hurry up. - Don't rush me. 589 00:49:57,865 --> 00:49:59,856 We're playing poker. You want me to help? 590 00:49:59,985 --> 00:50:04,103 All right, all right. Does a full house beat a flush or does a flush beat a full house? 591 00:50:04,225 --> 00:50:06,136 You don't even know how to play! 592 00:50:06,265 --> 00:50:08,256 How many times do we have to tell you? 593 00:50:08,385 --> 00:50:11,855 - Come on! Come on! - (thud) 594 00:50:11,985 --> 00:50:14,783 - What was that? - (door opens) 595 00:50:14,905 --> 00:50:18,181 It's Jonathon. He's really freakin' out. 596 00:50:18,305 --> 00:50:19,863 Oh, great. 597 00:50:19,985 --> 00:50:22,897 - Jonathon's always freakin' out. - We gotta redeal. 598 00:50:23,025 --> 00:50:24,822 - Redeal? - He had to leave. 599 00:50:24,945 --> 00:50:26,344 - So what? - It's a redeal. 600 00:50:26,465 --> 00:50:31,220 - If it was your cards you wouldn't do it. - After someone leaves... doesn't count. 601 00:50:31,345 --> 00:50:33,734 - Gimme those cards! - It's a null game. 602 00:50:33,865 --> 00:50:39,383 No way! No way! Get outta here! If it was your cards, you wouldn't redeal. 603 00:50:45,585 --> 00:50:46,734 Jonathon! 604 00:50:48,865 --> 00:50:51,220 Jesus Christ! Jonathon! 605 00:50:57,665 --> 00:50:59,735 Jonathon! Jonathon! 606 00:51:10,105 --> 00:51:14,462 Jonathon! Come back, goddammit! Jonathon, stop! 607 00:51:21,745 --> 00:51:25,624 Shut up! Shut up! Listen, man, you're gonna get kicked outta here. 608 00:51:25,745 --> 00:51:29,863 You can kiss your fuckin' future goodbye, including Harvard. Do you hear me? 609 00:51:29,985 --> 00:51:32,215 (muffled cry) 610 00:51:51,145 --> 00:51:53,295 Kicked you out, didn't he? 611 00:51:55,465 --> 00:51:59,697 I, uh... I just can't talk about it right now. 612 00:51:59,825 --> 00:52:04,740 My parents give a shitload of money to this place. Nobody's kickin' you out. 613 00:52:04,865 --> 00:52:06,821 What's done is done. 614 00:52:11,305 --> 00:52:13,261 You dirt clod. 615 00:52:14,425 --> 00:52:18,100 - Harvard accepted you already? - Headmaster Kennedy said, and I quote, 616 00:52:18,225 --> 00:52:21,900 ''Jonathon, you are a credit to us all'', end quote. 617 00:52:22,025 --> 00:52:24,744 - You saved my life, man. - You still owe me a blow job. 618 00:52:25,025 --> 00:52:29,303 - You're right. I forgot all about that. - Jesus, you can't forget these things. 619 00:52:29,425 --> 00:52:32,178 - We're drinkin'. It's on you. - Yeah, of course. 620 00:52:32,865 --> 00:52:34,935 Ma, we can trim the tree when I get there. 621 00:52:35,065 --> 00:52:38,501 I'm only gonna be gone the first four days. I mean... 622 00:52:39,625 --> 00:52:42,014 Mom, I'll be home for Christmas. 623 00:52:43,065 --> 00:52:45,056 - No. I gotta go. - (bell rings) 624 00:52:45,185 --> 00:52:49,178 Yeah, I'll call you when I get there, I promise. I love you too, yeah. OK, bye. 625 00:52:49,305 --> 00:52:51,261 Oh, Mom! 626 00:52:52,305 --> 00:52:56,264 (# "Little Drummer Boy" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts) 627 00:52:59,585 --> 00:53:04,739 # Come, they told me, pa rum pa pum pum 628 00:53:07,345 --> 00:53:11,657 # A newborn king to see, pa rum pa pum pum 629 00:53:12,705 --> 00:53:17,381 # Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pa pum pum 630 00:53:19,945 --> 00:53:24,621 # To lay before the king, pa rum pa pum pum 631 00:53:24,745 --> 00:53:28,181 # Rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum 632 00:53:30,865 --> 00:53:35,893 # So to honour him, pa rum pa pum pum 633 00:53:45,705 --> 00:53:47,661 Welcome to Toad Hall. 634 00:53:51,385 --> 00:53:56,015 I have never seen such a vulgar display of wealth in my entire life. 635 00:53:56,145 --> 00:53:59,103 - How do I get one? - Well, you can do what we did. 636 00:53:59,225 --> 00:54:01,693 - Bootlegging bought the place. - Bootlegging? 637 00:54:01,825 --> 00:54:04,703 Uh-huh. Before Gramps went legit. 638 00:54:04,825 --> 00:54:06,383 Huh. 639 00:54:10,865 --> 00:54:12,856 Oh, these are not for you, OK? 640 00:54:12,985 --> 00:54:16,102 - Remember. - Thanks. I feel like I'm in a museum. 641 00:54:16,225 --> 00:54:18,580 It's not much, but it's home. 642 00:54:19,705 --> 00:54:21,900 - Maggie! - Skip! 643 00:54:22,025 --> 00:54:24,493 - Hi, gorgeous! - How you doin'? 644 00:54:24,625 --> 00:54:28,413 Great. I want you to meet Jonathon, my roommate, and a chronic bed-wetter. 645 00:54:28,545 --> 00:54:31,935 You are not too old for me to put you over my knee, now. 646 00:54:32,065 --> 00:54:35,694 Really? Oh, do it now, Maggie, do it now. 647 00:54:35,825 --> 00:54:37,975 You're crazy! 648 00:54:38,105 --> 00:54:40,061 No, I got it. 649 00:54:50,265 --> 00:54:51,823 Wow. 650 00:54:52,105 --> 00:54:54,061 - Hey! - Hey. 651 00:54:57,025 --> 00:55:01,496 You know, this room has always had a special place in my heart. 652 00:55:01,625 --> 00:55:03,581 Come here. 653 00:55:20,385 --> 00:55:22,580 - I'd better not. - You'd better. 654 00:55:23,425 --> 00:55:28,180 You wanna get good and ripped for an evening at home with the Burroughs. 655 00:55:30,105 --> 00:55:33,780 Don't let the old man scare you. If you wanna get on his good side, 656 00:55:33,905 --> 00:55:36,544 tell him you get a hard-on for firm government control. 657 00:55:37,145 --> 00:55:42,299 Government control, Jonathon, is anathema to the free-enterprise system. 658 00:55:42,425 --> 00:55:44,985 Any intelligent person knows you cannot interfere 659 00:55:45,105 --> 00:55:47,573 with the laws of supply and demand. 660 00:55:47,705 --> 00:55:50,458 I see your point, sir. That's why I'm not for tariffs. 661 00:55:50,585 --> 00:55:52,303 Right. 662 00:55:52,425 --> 00:55:57,260 No, wrong. You gotta have tariffs. How you gonna compete with the foreigners? 663 00:55:57,385 --> 00:56:00,616 - Gotta have tariffs. - Jonathon, how can you be so blind? 664 00:56:00,745 --> 00:56:02,098 (door closes) 665 00:56:02,225 --> 00:56:04,659 We're in here, dear. We're havin' a drink. 666 00:56:04,785 --> 00:56:06,138 Mom? 667 00:56:07,065 --> 00:56:08,498 Mom! 668 00:56:08,625 --> 00:56:10,377 Are these for me? 669 00:56:10,505 --> 00:56:12,655 Here, let me have them. 670 00:56:16,665 --> 00:56:20,943 I want you to meet my roommate Jonathon. Jonathon, this is my mom. 671 00:56:26,025 --> 00:56:27,253 Uh... 672 00:56:27,385 --> 00:56:30,661 Uh... very nice to meet you, Mrs Burroughs. 673 00:56:30,785 --> 00:56:32,662 Hello. Hello. 674 00:56:32,785 --> 00:56:35,379 Um... well... 675 00:56:35,505 --> 00:56:40,215 I would like to freshen up, so I... I think I will freshen up, and, um... 676 00:56:40,345 --> 00:56:43,303 I'll see you all at dinner. Darling. 677 00:56:48,785 --> 00:56:54,223 (Mr Burroughs) Well, let's see, where were we before... we were interrupted? 678 00:56:55,105 --> 00:56:56,857 Oh, yes. Government interference. 679 00:56:56,985 --> 00:57:01,695 I'm also adamantly opposed to the government baling out corporations. 680 00:57:01,825 --> 00:57:04,055 Unless it's one of our corporations. 681 00:57:04,185 --> 00:57:08,019 (Mr Burroughs) Hm. Quick. Pretty quick, huh, Jonathon? 682 00:57:08,145 --> 00:57:11,103 - Chip off the old block. - Holy fuckin' shit. 683 00:57:31,945 --> 00:57:33,537 Jonathon? 684 00:57:33,665 --> 00:57:35,621 Yes, sir? 685 00:57:38,505 --> 00:57:41,542 Evidently you and I have something in common. 686 00:57:46,145 --> 00:57:48,943 Can you guess what that might be? 687 00:57:49,985 --> 00:57:52,658 Leave it, Maggie'll get it. Maggie! 688 00:57:54,905 --> 00:57:56,702 Jonathon. 689 00:57:56,865 --> 00:58:01,381 I, too, was the first boy in my class at Vernon to be accepted into Harvard. 690 00:58:03,345 --> 00:58:06,701 Jonathon, how wonderful. Congratulations. 691 00:58:16,065 --> 00:58:19,501 Why don't you try the roast, dear? It's a superb cut. 692 00:58:21,825 --> 00:58:23,781 Thank you, sweetheart. 693 00:58:38,625 --> 00:58:43,904 Wish we had food like this at old Vermin. We'd probably have a lot fewer suicides. 694 00:58:44,025 --> 00:58:46,380 If you concentrated more on studies than jokes, 695 00:58:46,505 --> 00:58:50,464 perhaps you too would've been accepted into Harvard by now. 696 00:58:54,865 --> 00:58:57,425 Well, uh, Jonathon, back to Harvard. 697 00:58:58,465 --> 00:59:01,343 I imagine this is a very exciting time in your life. 698 00:59:01,465 --> 00:59:03,660 Oh, yes. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. 699 00:59:03,785 --> 00:59:08,575 I bet you are. Well, it's a turning point, really. If you study hard at Harvard, 700 00:59:08,705 --> 00:59:11,378 you'll be able to write your own ticket. 701 00:59:17,185 --> 00:59:20,018 Darling, get me some more wine, would you? 702 00:59:21,545 --> 00:59:23,661 Why don't you wait for the last course? 703 00:59:24,585 --> 00:59:27,577 That was quite a display you put on at the dinner table. 704 00:59:27,705 --> 00:59:30,902 I guess it doesn't matter what you do in private. 705 00:59:36,185 --> 00:59:37,982 Let me tell you somethin', lady. 706 00:59:38,105 --> 00:59:42,383 As long as you're in this house with me, representing this family, 707 00:59:43,785 --> 00:59:48,939 you will control that neurosis or whatever the hell it is you think you've got. 708 00:59:55,985 --> 01:00:01,139 And you'll behave like a Burroughs even if you don't feel like one. Is that clear? 709 01:00:37,665 --> 01:00:39,223 Jonathon? 710 01:00:53,825 --> 01:00:56,259 Jonathon, I have to talk to you. 711 01:00:57,705 --> 01:00:59,661 What do you want? 712 01:01:04,065 --> 01:01:06,135 - I'm so sorry. - Sorry? 713 01:01:06,265 --> 01:01:09,735 - Jesus, your son is in the next room! - I would never have done it 714 01:01:09,865 --> 01:01:12,015 if I'd known who you were. 715 01:01:14,545 --> 01:01:17,901 Look... I... I need to explain. 716 01:01:18,025 --> 01:01:20,585 - No. No, you don't. - Please. 717 01:01:22,545 --> 01:01:25,298 Jesus, I don't know what you want from me. 718 01:01:25,425 --> 01:01:29,020 If you want understanding, OK. I understand. 719 01:01:32,905 --> 01:01:35,624 Would you please hold me? Would you? 720 01:01:35,745 --> 01:01:37,701 No, I can't. 721 01:01:37,825 --> 01:01:40,134 (knocking) Hey, ace, are you awake? 722 01:01:41,105 --> 01:01:43,061 Argh! Shit! 723 01:01:43,745 --> 01:01:45,701 Ow! Jesus. 724 01:01:46,745 --> 01:01:48,497 What are you doing? 725 01:01:48,625 --> 01:01:52,140 Uh, I was trying to open the door for you. I tripped. 726 01:01:52,265 --> 01:01:54,221 What a gonad! 727 01:01:56,425 --> 01:01:58,381 Get dressed. 728 01:02:07,225 --> 01:02:10,297 So, what did you think of dinner? 729 01:02:10,425 --> 01:02:13,462 It's, uh, pretty fuckin' entertaining, huh? 730 01:02:21,305 --> 01:02:24,297 Do you ever wonder if your parents still do it? 731 01:02:29,345 --> 01:02:33,338 Actually, I think my parents have a pretty normal relationship. 732 01:02:33,465 --> 01:02:36,821 He tells her exactly what to do, and she ignores him. 733 01:02:46,105 --> 01:02:48,619 I'm never gettin' married. 734 01:02:48,745 --> 01:02:51,817 - Neither am I. - That'll break a lot of hearts. 735 01:03:05,345 --> 01:03:08,098 - How you doin', Jonathon? - Good. 736 01:03:08,225 --> 01:03:11,615 Good man. Who wants to race me to the fence? 737 01:03:11,745 --> 01:03:14,305 - How about you, Skip? - Whoa! 738 01:03:15,185 --> 01:03:17,141 Come on! 739 01:03:28,625 --> 01:03:30,695 How are you? 740 01:03:30,825 --> 01:03:33,180 I want you off this property today. 741 01:03:39,305 --> 01:03:44,174 - So, how was the snow where you were? - It was fabulous. We had five inches. 742 01:03:45,945 --> 01:03:49,381 Oh, man. Comin' back here is depressing enough. 743 01:03:49,505 --> 01:03:51,894 Havin' to face exams is almost more than I can bear. 744 01:03:52,025 --> 01:03:55,176 Having to examine your face is almost more than we can bear. 745 01:03:55,305 --> 01:03:57,944 - Funny. - You're a mindless idiot. I mean it. 746 01:03:58,065 --> 01:04:00,818 You're a wit, Roscoe. You're a true wit. 747 01:04:00,945 --> 01:04:03,015 - See you later. - OK, bye. 748 01:04:15,465 --> 01:04:17,103 (bugle) 749 01:04:17,225 --> 01:04:19,898 OK, you guys, the kid is back! 750 01:04:22,665 --> 01:04:24,621 - Hey, buddy. - Miss me? 751 01:04:25,785 --> 01:04:29,095 Do you really think an investigation of our students is necessary? 752 01:04:29,225 --> 01:04:32,376 Yes, I do. So does the state of Illinois. 753 01:04:32,505 --> 01:04:35,178 I want to see the student files as soon as possible. 754 01:04:35,305 --> 01:04:38,615 I think the only way to clear up the problem is... 755 01:04:38,745 --> 01:04:41,259 Is there somebody out there? 756 01:04:41,385 --> 01:04:43,341 Uh, yes, sir. It's, uh, me, sir. 757 01:04:43,465 --> 01:04:46,980 And what can I do for you, Mr Maybaum? 758 01:04:47,105 --> 01:04:52,020 Mrs Hayworth needs your signatures on here. I mean, your signature. 759 01:04:52,145 --> 01:04:54,101 To sign it. 760 01:05:09,745 --> 01:05:10,973 (yells) 761 01:05:13,865 --> 01:05:16,174 I don't get it! I don't get it! 762 01:05:16,305 --> 01:05:18,660 I don't wanna get it! I hate it! 763 01:05:21,185 --> 01:05:23,699 - Skip. - No, forget it. There's no way. 764 01:05:23,825 --> 01:05:27,101 I'm a dead man. Adios, Harvard. Bonjour , Trade Tech. 765 01:05:27,225 --> 01:05:29,181 OK, look, look. 766 01:05:29,305 --> 01:05:31,341 If the area un... Skip. 767 01:05:32,505 --> 01:05:36,054 If the area under the curve represented by F times the quantity X 768 01:05:36,185 --> 01:05:40,895 is bounded by vertical lines X = sub A and X = sub B, what do you have to find? 769 01:05:41,025 --> 01:05:43,459 - A gun. It's hopeless. - (knock at door) 770 01:05:43,585 --> 01:05:45,894 Meeting in Roscoe's room after lights out! 771 01:05:46,025 --> 01:05:48,255 That's in three hours. I better get ready. 772 01:05:48,385 --> 01:05:51,934 All I heard was that he was talkin' about some investigation. 773 01:05:52,065 --> 01:05:55,216 - What investigation? - I don't know. That's what I'm tellin' you. 774 01:05:55,345 --> 01:05:57,301 (knocking) 775 01:06:01,385 --> 01:06:03,945 (all mutter) ..five, six, seven, eight. 776 01:06:04,065 --> 01:06:08,217 - Jonathon, telephone. - (mimicking) Jonathon, telephone. 777 01:06:11,785 --> 01:06:14,060 - Hello? - (Ellen) Jonathon? 778 01:06:14,185 --> 01:06:16,779 - Oh, God. - How are you? 779 01:06:16,905 --> 01:06:19,783 - Are you serious? - Why didn't you say goodbye? 780 01:06:19,905 --> 01:06:23,022 - Look, you ordered me off the property. - Did I? 781 01:06:25,305 --> 01:06:28,900 - Don't play games with me, huh? - I have to see you. 782 01:06:29,025 --> 01:06:31,380 Yeah, I can't talk. I gotta go. 783 01:06:33,105 --> 01:06:36,780 - Take care of yourself. - Yeah. Yeah, you too. 784 01:06:36,905 --> 01:06:41,183 - Why don't we just kill the guy? - It'd be good if we could. 785 01:06:41,305 --> 01:06:43,580 - Who was it? - Huh? 786 01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:46,456 On the phone. 787 01:06:46,585 --> 01:06:47,540 Oh. 788 01:06:47,665 --> 01:06:50,577 My mom. The dog died. 789 01:06:50,705 --> 01:06:52,297 No shit. 790 01:06:52,425 --> 01:06:56,179 - What does this guy look like? - Hitler, man. The guy looks like Hitler. 791 01:06:56,305 --> 01:07:00,184 He's got a little moustache and beady little eyes. He stares right through you. 792 01:07:00,305 --> 01:07:04,537 The bastard never blinks. I was in there for five minutes, the guy didn't blink once. 793 01:07:04,665 --> 01:07:07,737 He just... stares right through you. He goes... 794 01:07:33,745 --> 01:07:35,417 Yeah! 795 01:07:35,545 --> 01:07:39,220 All right, so it's me, Roger, Doug, and Barry. 796 01:07:39,345 --> 01:07:41,301 (knocking) 797 01:07:46,225 --> 01:07:48,181 ..five, six, seven, eight. 798 01:07:49,665 --> 01:07:52,816 - Phone again for Jonathon. - His dog died again. 799 01:07:54,945 --> 01:07:57,095 Shh! OK, look, here's the plan. 800 01:07:58,385 --> 01:08:00,615 This is the bedroom. There's a window here. 801 01:08:00,745 --> 01:08:04,897 If it's clear, we'll all come around this corner and go through the window. 802 01:08:05,025 --> 01:08:06,981 - Search for anything. - Anything. 803 01:08:07,465 --> 01:08:11,458 - Yeah, I'm still here. - (Ellen) Just to talk. Just for an hour. 804 01:08:11,585 --> 01:08:14,304 - I can't, OK? - Jonathon. 805 01:08:14,425 --> 01:08:16,859 - Can't. - Just for an hour. 806 01:08:16,985 --> 01:08:20,341 Please. Come on, don't call me any more, all right? 807 01:08:23,505 --> 01:08:24,494 Jesus. 808 01:08:35,385 --> 01:08:37,341 (tuneless singing) 809 01:08:53,065 --> 01:08:55,021 OK, let's go. 810 01:08:57,625 --> 01:08:59,661 Come on, come on! 811 01:08:59,785 --> 01:09:01,901 Shh! Get down. Let's go. 812 01:09:21,665 --> 01:09:23,496 - Holy shit! - What? 813 01:09:23,905 --> 01:09:25,577 - Guy's a fuckin' narc! - Shh! 814 01:09:25,705 --> 01:09:27,263 Hello? 815 01:09:29,545 --> 01:09:30,944 Hello? 816 01:09:31,065 --> 01:09:32,100 Hello? 817 01:09:33,265 --> 01:09:35,574 Shit! Let's get outta here! 818 01:09:40,025 --> 01:09:42,061 - Is anybody there? - Go! Go! 819 01:09:43,425 --> 01:09:45,939 Get outta my way! Get outta my way, dammit! 820 01:09:46,065 --> 01:09:49,023 - Shit! - Come on, man, move it. Go. Go. 821 01:09:49,145 --> 01:09:50,737 Hello? 822 01:10:05,465 --> 01:10:08,184 - When's the bust? - I don't know! 823 01:10:08,305 --> 01:10:10,660 Raid. Raid, man. 824 01:10:10,785 --> 01:10:13,219 - What's goin' on? - The guy is a narc. 825 01:10:14,705 --> 01:10:18,857 - You better dump it all! - I'll never make it through exams now! 826 01:10:22,465 --> 01:10:23,454 Quick! 827 01:10:27,585 --> 01:10:30,338 If you have anything, you'd better dump it right now. 828 01:10:31,425 --> 01:10:34,303 - How are you gonna flush that? - Watch me. 829 01:10:35,865 --> 01:10:38,584 Outta my way. I got shit to flush here. 830 01:10:52,705 --> 01:10:55,060 Make way, gentlemen, please. 831 01:10:56,825 --> 01:10:58,781 Read 'em and weep. 832 01:11:01,345 --> 01:11:03,495 All right! Whoo-hoo! 833 01:11:03,625 --> 01:11:08,540 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! All right! All right! Whoo-hoo! 834 01:11:12,225 --> 01:11:14,341 Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! 835 01:11:15,705 --> 01:11:19,664 Jonathon! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 836 01:11:19,785 --> 01:11:24,222 - Ya-da-da-da-da-da! Ya-da-da-da-da-da! - Skip! Skip. 837 01:11:24,345 --> 01:11:26,734 - Well? - You passed. 838 01:11:26,865 --> 01:11:30,414 Passed, my ass, man. We're number one and two, me and you. 839 01:11:30,545 --> 01:11:32,775 Thanks to you, we're a friggin' genius! 840 01:11:32,905 --> 01:11:35,817 - So we're gonna party our balls off. - I can't. 841 01:11:35,945 --> 01:11:38,095 - I didn't hear that. - I gotta go to Chicago. 842 01:11:38,225 --> 01:11:41,979 - Great thinkin'. I own the town. - No, come on, I'm goin' alone, Skip. 843 01:11:42,105 --> 01:11:46,701 Jesus, not that shit again. I told you to forget about her. You'll never find her. 844 01:11:47,305 --> 01:11:50,661 No, I'm not goin' for that. I just wanna be alone, OK? 845 01:11:51,545 --> 01:11:53,103 OK. 846 01:11:58,225 --> 01:12:02,104 But next time you're feelin' sad and blue, don't expect old Skipper here 847 01:12:02,225 --> 01:12:05,979 to put on his big red nose and floppy shoes just pour vous. 848 01:12:09,745 --> 01:12:12,305 Adios... Mr Morose. 849 01:12:18,745 --> 01:12:20,701 Yeah! Yeah! 850 01:12:27,585 --> 01:12:32,613 Jesus Christ, I'm not the one who calls you up every week for a month, OK? 851 01:12:32,745 --> 01:12:36,215 Do you understand your son is my roommate, my best friend, OK? 852 01:12:36,345 --> 01:12:39,098 I can't believe we're arguing about this. 853 01:12:42,185 --> 01:12:44,699 I came here today cos I felt sorry for you. 854 01:12:45,425 --> 01:12:48,576 Where the hell do you get off talking to me like that? 855 01:12:48,705 --> 01:12:51,219 You don't know anything about me. 856 01:12:51,345 --> 01:12:53,905 You don't know anything about my life. 857 01:12:54,905 --> 01:12:57,260 When I first saw you in that bar... 858 01:12:59,265 --> 01:13:01,221 you were pathetic. 859 01:13:03,105 --> 01:13:05,255 You were a sympathy fuck. 860 01:13:07,305 --> 01:13:09,375 Jesus Christ. 861 01:13:09,505 --> 01:13:11,621 You'd better go, Jonathon. 862 01:13:17,185 --> 01:13:22,657 Um, room service. It's room 101 7. I'd like a bottle of vodka sent up right away. 863 01:13:23,025 --> 01:13:26,540 - Oh, that'll really help, won't it? - Yes, it will, Jonathon. 864 01:13:26,665 --> 01:13:29,418 A damn sight more than you will. 101 7. 865 01:13:42,225 --> 01:13:44,375 I asked you to go. 866 01:13:47,185 --> 01:13:49,301 You can't call me any more. 867 01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:51,381 I know. 868 01:13:53,025 --> 01:13:54,583 I won't. 869 01:13:57,225 --> 01:13:59,181 I'm sorry. 870 01:14:21,905 --> 01:14:23,418 Hold me. 871 01:14:23,705 --> 01:14:25,775 - Are you sure it'll be all right? - Trust me. 872 01:14:25,905 --> 01:14:29,784 He is in serious trouble. He's forgotten the meaning of the word ''debauchery''. 873 01:14:29,905 --> 01:14:31,543 This is gonna be great. 874 01:14:31,665 --> 01:14:34,702 Bet you've never been with guys as crazy as us. 875 01:14:35,185 --> 01:14:38,814 - Sure he's in here? - Yeah, man, I told you, I followed him. 876 01:14:38,945 --> 01:14:40,503 Shh! 877 01:14:43,825 --> 01:14:46,339 Shh. Shh. Are you ready? Shh. 878 01:14:48,425 --> 01:14:49,858 (Skip mouths) 879 01:14:49,985 --> 01:14:51,941 Room service! 880 01:14:52,705 --> 01:14:53,660 (knocking) 881 01:14:53,785 --> 01:14:56,015 Room service! 882 01:15:06,225 --> 01:15:08,375 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Shit. 883 01:15:09,745 --> 01:15:11,940 - Maybe we ought to leave. - Skip. 884 01:15:13,705 --> 01:15:15,184 Skipper. 885 01:15:18,625 --> 01:15:21,935 Jonathon, aren't you going to introduce your friend? 886 01:15:22,065 --> 01:15:24,420 She got any sisters, Jonathon? 887 01:15:35,785 --> 01:15:39,539 - (girl #1 ) Well, that was a short party! - (girl #2) Yeah! 888 01:15:42,345 --> 01:15:44,620 Would you please... excuse me? 889 01:15:49,345 --> 01:15:51,301 Skip! Skip! 890 01:16:14,865 --> 01:16:16,821 (man) Lights out! 891 01:16:46,225 --> 01:16:48,181 Look, Skip... 892 01:16:49,225 --> 01:16:52,661 Skip, come on. Look, Skip, I didn't know who she was. 893 01:16:53,985 --> 01:16:55,941 I'm really sorry. 894 01:16:57,105 --> 01:16:59,061 I'm sorry. 895 01:17:01,465 --> 01:17:04,741 Come on... Do you think we should talk about this? 896 01:17:05,505 --> 01:17:10,101 Hey, there's nothin' to talk about. I told you, a fuck is just a fuck. 897 01:17:16,625 --> 01:17:18,183 OK. 898 01:17:36,225 --> 01:17:37,544 Urgh! 899 01:17:37,665 --> 01:17:39,621 What's your problem, Skip? 900 01:17:46,065 --> 01:17:48,340 Argh! Damn you! 901 01:17:48,465 --> 01:17:52,504 - Get outta my way! - Cheap play, Burroughs! I'm warnin' you! 902 01:17:52,625 --> 01:17:55,139 - What the hell is goin' on there? - I don't know. 903 01:17:56,865 --> 01:17:59,015 Son of a bitch! 904 01:18:01,225 --> 01:18:03,375 I'll fix your ass for you! 905 01:18:05,105 --> 01:18:06,174 (whistle blows) 906 01:18:06,305 --> 01:18:08,739 Burroughs, you bastard. 907 01:18:08,865 --> 01:18:13,222 Watch the language! Burroughs, I've had it with you. Get outta here! 908 01:18:13,345 --> 01:18:17,338 - Yeah, let's go! - (squawking laughter) 909 01:18:18,185 --> 01:18:20,983 - Hey, man. - (boy squawks) Bye-bye! 910 01:18:21,105 --> 01:18:23,141 Take a cold shower! 911 01:18:29,585 --> 01:18:32,702 - Mr Burroughs. - Hello, Jonathon. 912 01:18:33,665 --> 01:18:36,702 - How are you? - Fine. You know when Skip'll be back? 913 01:18:36,825 --> 01:18:38,895 Uh, he should be back soon. 914 01:18:39,025 --> 01:18:41,220 How've you been? 915 01:18:41,345 --> 01:18:43,142 Good. 916 01:18:43,265 --> 01:18:45,540 Pretty busy? 917 01:18:45,665 --> 01:18:47,701 How's your social life? 918 01:18:48,865 --> 01:18:50,423 Girlfriends? 919 01:18:52,105 --> 01:18:52,935 No? 920 01:18:53,065 --> 01:18:56,455 OK, sir. Come on, let's get it over with. I can't take this. 921 01:18:56,585 --> 01:18:58,735 What are you talkin' about? 922 01:19:00,825 --> 01:19:02,975 What am I talkin' about? 923 01:19:04,985 --> 01:19:07,135 What are you doing here? 924 01:19:08,385 --> 01:19:10,535 - Would you excuse us? - Sure. 925 01:19:18,105 --> 01:19:19,982 What's wrong? 926 01:19:20,105 --> 01:19:25,543 Your mother's in the hospital, son. She checked herself in three days ago. 927 01:19:25,665 --> 01:19:28,259 She felt she needed psychiatric help. 928 01:19:29,305 --> 01:19:31,261 She's getting it. 929 01:19:39,265 --> 01:19:41,415 You don't seem surprised. 930 01:19:43,225 --> 01:19:47,298 - What do you want me to say? - What kind of attitude is that? 931 01:19:47,425 --> 01:19:52,374 It's not an attitude. If she thinks that she needs help, then she should get it. 932 01:19:56,265 --> 01:19:58,460 Face it, Dad, we're just a fucked-up family. 933 01:19:58,825 --> 01:20:01,214 That's the guy. That's the narc. 934 01:20:07,585 --> 01:20:10,304 Gentlemen, I am going to need your help. 935 01:20:10,425 --> 01:20:15,180 This is Mr Balaban. He is from the state attorney general's office, 936 01:20:15,305 --> 01:20:20,220 and he is presently conducting an investigation of the schools in our area. 937 01:20:20,345 --> 01:20:25,373 Apparently, there has been some widespread cheating on the SAT tests. 938 01:20:25,505 --> 01:20:30,340 I hope that Mr Balaban is wrong about Vernon Academy, but nonetheless, 939 01:20:30,465 --> 01:20:33,423 we are going to give him our full cooperation. 940 01:20:36,265 --> 01:20:38,415 - You're dead, Roger! - Asshole! 941 01:20:38,545 --> 01:20:41,105 - You stupid shit! - A narc, huh? 942 01:20:41,225 --> 01:20:44,979 - You asshole! - I flushed $300 down the goddamn toilet! 943 01:20:49,465 --> 01:20:53,697 So, this is a real pain-in-the-ass way to meet, isn't it? 944 01:20:53,825 --> 01:20:56,976 - I hear you're already headed to Harvard. - Yes. 945 01:20:59,145 --> 01:21:02,182 You got a near-perfect score on your SAT test. 946 01:21:03,105 --> 01:21:07,462 Very impressive. Normally I would've suspected you right away. 947 01:21:09,105 --> 01:21:11,903 Right away. 948 01:21:12,025 --> 01:21:15,062 But you've been a straight-A student all your life, so... 949 01:21:15,185 --> 01:21:18,063 the only conclusion I can draw is, either you're innocent, 950 01:21:18,185 --> 01:21:22,383 or you've been stealing tests since you were in nursery school. 951 01:21:24,425 --> 01:21:26,985 I guess we better get down to business. 952 01:21:39,545 --> 01:21:42,298 I'm gonna have to ask you some questions. 953 01:21:44,385 --> 01:21:47,821 Do you have any knowledge of the stolen SAT tests? 954 01:21:49,625 --> 01:21:51,581 No, sir. 955 01:21:52,425 --> 01:21:54,575 Did you purchase an SAT test? 956 01:21:56,625 --> 01:21:58,581 No, sir. 957 01:22:09,985 --> 01:22:10,542 Thank you. 958 01:22:10,865 --> 01:22:13,060 They kept Ostroff for an hour and a half. 959 01:22:13,185 --> 01:22:17,064 - I heard they nailed Powers. - Powers! What a jerk-off! 960 01:22:17,185 --> 01:22:21,815 He didn't cheat, but he's so scared he confessed to smokin', goin' off campus, 961 01:22:21,945 --> 01:22:25,221 - and spyin' on Kennedy's wife in the can. - Oh, man! 962 01:22:25,345 --> 01:22:27,381 Well, I tell you somethin', 963 01:22:27,505 --> 01:22:31,544 it'll take more than some fag from the attorney general's office to open my lips. 964 01:22:31,665 --> 01:22:33,701 Yeah! Two fags! 965 01:22:33,825 --> 01:22:38,341 Fuck you, Roscoe! Wait till you get in there, you'll be Jell-O guts. 966 01:22:42,625 --> 01:22:44,581 How you doin'? 967 01:23:02,105 --> 01:23:04,255 You heard from Harvard. 968 01:23:13,625 --> 01:23:14,978 Hey. 969 01:23:15,705 --> 01:23:17,616 Congratulations. 970 01:23:27,665 --> 01:23:29,940 (narrator) Seldom seen by civilised man, 971 01:23:30,065 --> 01:23:32,977 this sacred rituaI was captured by our camera... 972 01:23:33,105 --> 01:23:34,663 (shouting) 973 01:23:43,185 --> 01:23:46,097 - Shut the projector off, please. - (booing) 974 01:23:46,225 --> 01:23:48,864 More bodies for the inquisition, Mr Maybaum? 975 01:23:48,985 --> 01:23:50,577 Yes, ma'am. 976 01:23:50,865 --> 01:23:54,983 Mr Simons and Mr Burroughs, you are today's lucky winners. 977 01:23:57,665 --> 01:23:59,621 - Thank you, ma'am. - Shit. 978 01:24:09,265 --> 01:24:11,825 I know we're supposed to give our full cooperation 979 01:24:11,945 --> 01:24:14,334 to this stupid and pointless investigation, 980 01:24:14,465 --> 01:24:17,184 but when they interrupt one of my classes, 981 01:24:17,665 --> 01:24:19,621 it pisses me off. 982 01:24:21,465 --> 01:24:23,660 (boy) This is now my favourite class. 983 01:24:26,585 --> 01:24:28,576 Come in. Sit down. 984 01:24:37,385 --> 01:24:38,943 Squire. 985 01:24:40,985 --> 01:24:44,739 So, this is a real pain-in-the-ass way to meet, isn't it? 986 01:24:45,745 --> 01:24:49,055 I see you, uh... applied to Harvard. 987 01:24:49,185 --> 01:24:52,860 I'm an NYU man myself. I... worked my way through. 988 01:24:59,545 --> 01:25:01,979 Got a very high score on your SAT. 989 01:25:03,265 --> 01:25:04,584 ''Burroughs''. 990 01:25:04,705 --> 01:25:09,176 You're not by any chance related to the Burroughs who's on the board of AT&T? 991 01:25:09,305 --> 01:25:10,897 Daddy. 992 01:25:11,025 --> 01:25:12,981 Really? 993 01:25:13,265 --> 01:25:18,703 Ha-ha. I would imagine that the pressure to get into Harvard must be very intense. 994 01:25:21,185 --> 01:25:23,221 Your grades weren't bad. 995 01:25:23,905 --> 01:25:26,135 Your grades were all right. 996 01:25:26,265 --> 01:25:28,859 But it was the SAT score that got you in. 997 01:25:32,065 --> 01:25:34,625 I don't wanna put you through this. 998 01:25:35,545 --> 01:25:38,821 But we've all done things that we're ashamed of. 999 01:25:38,945 --> 01:25:41,334 Things that we have to live with. 1000 01:25:41,465 --> 01:25:45,060 Sometimes painfully. Because only occasionally... 1001 01:25:45,185 --> 01:25:49,337 does the opportunity present itself to rectify our mistakes. 1002 01:25:49,465 --> 01:25:53,424 And with that said, I guess we should get down to business. 1003 01:25:56,545 --> 01:25:59,821 Do you have any knowledge of the stolen SAT tests? 1004 01:26:04,745 --> 01:26:07,896 Mr Burroughs, where do you think you're going? 1005 01:26:09,385 --> 01:26:11,341 Fuck you. 1006 01:26:14,305 --> 01:26:17,775 - He really said ''Fuck you''? - He looked him straight in the eye, 1007 01:26:17,905 --> 01:26:19,702 - said it, and walked out. - All right! 1008 01:26:19,825 --> 01:26:21,099 I couldn't believe it! 1009 01:26:21,225 --> 01:26:24,023 - He told Balaban to go fuck himself. - No shit? 1010 01:26:24,145 --> 01:26:29,299 - He told Balaban to go fuck himself! - Burroughs told Balaban to fuck himself! 1011 01:26:31,305 --> 01:26:33,421 Hey! Skip! 1012 01:26:40,025 --> 01:26:42,380 Good job! 1013 01:27:00,385 --> 01:27:01,943 Skip! 1014 01:27:03,345 --> 01:27:06,098 Come on. Why didn't you turn me in? Huh? 1015 01:27:07,145 --> 01:27:10,137 You don't talk to me. You save my ass, but you don't talk to me. 1016 01:27:10,265 --> 01:27:13,621 Well, thanks, buddy. Maybe I'll do the same for you sometime, huh? 1017 01:27:13,745 --> 01:27:16,100 What could anybody do for Mr Perfect, though? 1018 01:27:16,225 --> 01:27:19,103 Hey, I got it. I'll drop dead. Wouldn't that be nice, huh? 1019 01:27:20,025 --> 01:27:24,223 I could shoot myself. No, you shoot me and mount my head next to the moose. 1020 01:27:24,345 --> 01:27:29,180 You could stretch the panties between my ears. Come on, you'd love that! 1021 01:27:29,305 --> 01:27:32,661 How the hell was I supposed to know who she was? You sent me to the bar. 1022 01:27:32,785 --> 01:27:35,140 You send her there to get laid, too? 1023 01:27:36,665 --> 01:27:41,216 You son of a bitch. You went back there even after you knew who she was. 1024 01:28:03,625 --> 01:28:06,185 Goddammit, you're gonna talk to me! 1025 01:28:33,465 --> 01:28:36,662 Oh, get away from me! Get away from me, you... 1026 01:28:39,265 --> 01:28:43,304 OK, you wanna talk? You wanna fucking talk, you lying son of a bitch? 1027 01:28:43,425 --> 01:28:45,575 You bastard! Come on! Come on! 1028 01:28:49,825 --> 01:28:52,703 - I'm sorry, man. - Come on, let's go! 1029 01:28:53,905 --> 01:28:55,623 Come on. 1030 01:28:56,105 --> 01:28:58,573 - Cut it out! - I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass! 1031 01:28:58,705 --> 01:29:00,980 Come on. Cut it out. 1032 01:29:02,865 --> 01:29:04,821 Argh! Shit! 1033 01:29:22,145 --> 01:29:24,215 Stay away from me! 1034 01:29:26,505 --> 01:29:28,461 Argh! Fuck! 1035 01:29:36,865 --> 01:29:38,423 Skip? 1036 01:29:39,065 --> 01:29:40,498 Skip? 1037 01:29:40,625 --> 01:29:42,217 Fuck! 1038 01:29:42,345 --> 01:29:44,381 You son of a bitch! 1039 01:29:56,745 --> 01:29:58,337 Come on! 1040 01:30:00,505 --> 01:30:03,815 - God damn you! - Oh, just back off! 1041 01:30:13,265 --> 01:30:15,221 - Truce! - Truce, shit! 1042 01:30:30,265 --> 01:30:32,620 I never would've seen her again. 1043 01:30:33,585 --> 01:30:35,621 She kept callin' me. 1044 01:30:36,905 --> 01:30:39,339 I just wanted to talk, honest to God. 1045 01:30:40,425 --> 01:30:42,381 But, oh, shit... 1046 01:30:44,585 --> 01:30:47,019 I was in love with her, I really was. 1047 01:30:52,305 --> 01:30:54,455 Oh, man, I'm sorry, Skip. 1048 01:30:58,265 --> 01:30:59,823 Skip? 1049 01:31:04,985 --> 01:31:06,657 (voices) 1050 01:31:09,145 --> 01:31:10,464 - Jesus! - Whoa! 1051 01:31:10,585 --> 01:31:12,701 What's goin' on? Holy shit! 1052 01:31:12,825 --> 01:31:17,615 - Have you guys been fightin'? - This looks kinda private. We oughta... 1053 01:31:17,745 --> 01:31:19,542 - Oh. Oh. OK. - Yeah. 1054 01:31:19,665 --> 01:31:22,577 If you need anything, you know, like a neck brace... 1055 01:31:22,705 --> 01:31:26,015 - Come to my room. See you later. - ..we'll be right down the hall. Bye! 1056 01:31:26,145 --> 01:31:28,420 - Real later. - OK, see ya. 1057 01:31:32,785 --> 01:31:35,538 Oh, by the way, your mom called. 1058 01:31:36,945 --> 01:31:38,424 Yeah? 1059 01:31:38,545 --> 01:31:40,501 The dog died. 1060 01:31:42,025 --> 01:31:43,697 What? 1061 01:31:43,825 --> 01:31:45,781 You're so gullible! 1062 01:34:08,265 --> 01:34:10,620 Visiontext Subtitles: Kerrie Slavin 84344

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