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1
00:01:23,490 --> 00:01:28,600
Into love and out again,
2
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:32,000
thus I went, and thus I go.
3
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:39,270
Spare your voice,
and hold your pen...
4
00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:42,270
Well and bitterly I know.
5
00:01:42,290 --> 00:01:45,960
All the songs were ever sung,
6
00:01:45,990 --> 00:01:48,900
all the words were ever said...
7
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,970
Could it be, when I was young,
8
00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:55,000
some one dropped me on my head?
9
00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:15,330
Oh, I'm rather glad
that you caught me like this.
10
00:02:15,350 --> 00:02:17,830
Because it gives me
an opportunity.
11
00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:20,270
To give you a little talk.
12
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,540
On the art of making
motion pictures.
13
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,760
In your own home.
14
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,500
Of course, you all know
that you can...
15
00:02:31,990 --> 00:02:35,360
That you can make
motion pictures.
16
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,260
In your own home.
17
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:40,900
All you need to have is a home.
18
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:46,960
And a small camera
like this... somewhere.
19
00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:50,470
And quite a lot of film,
as you see.
20
00:02:50,490 --> 00:02:52,240
Oh, well. Never mind.
21
00:02:52,260 --> 00:02:53,700
With these essentials,
22
00:02:53,730 --> 00:02:56,500
you can take pictures
of any interesting events.
23
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,900
That may happen
in your own household,
24
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,800
if any interesting events
ever do happen.
25
00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:02,970
In your own household.
26
00:03:02,990 --> 00:03:05,760
And you can make
a record of all trips.
27
00:03:05,790 --> 00:03:07,470
And of the progress
of the children.
28
00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:09,830
Down the path of life.
29
00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:12,100
And you can also
entertain your friends.
30
00:03:12,130 --> 00:03:13,670
Into the bargain.
31
00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:17,030
The other night, we had a party
of friends in for dinner.
32
00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:20,030
After dinner, instead of
going out on the town,
33
00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:21,600
as they say,
34
00:03:21,630 --> 00:03:24,830
or settling down
for a dull game of bridge...
35
00:03:24,860 --> 00:03:26,100
Cut!
36
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,000
Wonderful.
The rest of this is voice-over.
37
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:31,270
Thank you, everyone!
An early lunch today!
38
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:33,970
Let's be back
in one hour, please.
39
00:03:33,990 --> 00:03:36,260
Try to be back in one hour.
40
00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:39,270
Bob,
we'll be in the living room after lunch.
41
00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:40,900
How are you feeling, Bob?
42
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,740
I'm fine. Just hurting inside.
43
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,000
The top one's a corker.
44
00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:52,000
Look at that.
The higher authority.
45
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,300
If it comes through,
46
00:04:02,330 --> 00:04:03,900
it'll be the first ever
nomination.
47
00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:05,460
For a husband-and-wife team.
48
00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:07,170
We could be the first
husband-and-wife team.
49
00:04:07,190 --> 00:04:08,870
Ever nominated for an Oscar.
50
00:04:08,890 --> 00:04:11,270
Shit.
Now I'll have to see the picture.
51
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:15,300
Mr. Selznick should know
by this afternoon.
52
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,070
Bob!
53
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,700
Alan, how are you?
54
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,730
It's good to see you.
55
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:21,740
Oh, Mrs. Parker.
56
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,440
Mr. Benchley.
57
00:04:25,650 --> 00:04:27,030
Oh, Bob, you look terrific.
58
00:04:27,060 --> 00:04:28,430
When I dress up,
59
00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:31,300
I still manage to look
like a house detective.
60
00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:32,800
It's the tie.
61
00:04:32,830 --> 00:04:35,100
Listen, you must come up
to roxbury drive.
62
00:04:35,130 --> 00:04:36,966
I'll whip up some tomato curry
with spring lamb.
63
00:04:36,990 --> 00:04:38,030
That will be fine.
64
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:41,640
Alan enjoys whipping
young lambs.
65
00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:42,800
Darling.
66
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:44,500
Well, great to see you, Bob.
67
00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:46,630
Darling, I'll prepare them
for our scene.
68
00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:49,000
We did a little fix for goldwyn.
69
00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:50,770
He told us people want
a happy ending.
70
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,770
Dorothy reminded him
that in all history,
71
00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:55,360
no single person
ever had such a thing.
72
00:04:55,390 --> 00:05:00,170
Goldwyn doesn't know
what she's talking about.
73
00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:04,200
You must tell me
the moment you know.
74
00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:07,970
He can be such a Fawn's ass.
75
00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:12,100
Well, Mrs. Parker, goldwyn.
76
00:05:12,130 --> 00:05:13,240
Mr. Benchley, out here,
77
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:16,130
the streets are
paved with goldwyn.
78
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,770
Careful, man.
Stepped in something.
79
00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:23,300
Little art going by.
80
00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:24,530
I'm seeing Don Stewart tonight.
81
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,500
We're going to go out
for a hot-fudge gin.
82
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:27,500
Donny needs a break.
83
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,130
From his leagues
and guilds and Soviets.
84
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,640
Union is a five-letter word,
Mr. Benchley.
85
00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:34,630
What do you know about that?
86
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:35,830
And I expect to see you.
87
00:05:35,850 --> 00:05:38,130
At the writers' fund raiser.
88
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,230
Oh, you sent me
that little card.
89
00:05:40,260 --> 00:05:41,040
I couldn't make it out
with the red ink.
90
00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:42,100
On the first.
91
00:05:42,130 --> 00:05:44,330
I promised gertrude and the boys
92
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,630
I'd launch the big benchley
expedition that weekend.
93
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:47,700
These are not the days.
94
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,670
For timid,
selfish little things.
95
00:05:49,690 --> 00:05:51,740
Mrs. Parker,
it's no small affair,
96
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,170
getting all those people...
97
00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:56,860
Years I've wasted being a
party girl and smartass.
98
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,700
You were a pretty smart
party gi...
99
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,300
Ass.
100
00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:03,300
Ready for you on the set.
101
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,300
Bit of a party girl myself.
102
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,300
Visiting hours
are over, Mr. Benchley.
103
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,970
Let's do it again
sometime soon, Mrs. Parker.
104
00:06:09,990 --> 00:06:13,140
You'll find us
next-door to caligula.
105
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,000
Oh, does that hurt?
106
00:06:15,030 --> 00:06:18,070
Must have been so colorful
in the twenties.
107
00:06:18,090 --> 00:06:21,170
Was it? I barely remember.
108
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,140
So many famous writers.
109
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,130
Are from the algonquin roundtable,
Mrs. Parker.
110
00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:38,130
Ah, but no real giants.
111
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,070
Just a bunch of
loudmouths showing off,
112
00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:42,370
writing it up in their
columns the next day.
113
00:06:42,390 --> 00:06:46,000
It's no mermaid tavern,
I promise you that.
114
00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:48,070
Will you get me
a cup of coffee, dear?
115
00:06:48,090 --> 00:06:49,200
They love it, darling.
116
00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:51,940
They love our new ending.
117
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,130
Brilliant scene, dottie. Alan.
118
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,630
Thank you, farleigh.
119
00:06:55,650 --> 00:06:57,130
So, how was Bob?
120
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,100
It's so silly.
We're all out here,
121
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,370
and we never see him.
122
00:07:00,390 --> 00:07:03,640
Alan, Mr. Benchley
has sold out to Hollywood.
123
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:05,060
Really?
124
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:07,700
A perfect happy-ending
scene, dottie.
125
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,130
Bravo.
126
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,140
How very kind of you, Seymour...
127
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,440
You monumental shit.
128
00:07:13,460 --> 00:07:16,630
Darling, please
don't use that word.
129
00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:19,630
Well, sorry,
you monumental shit.
130
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:20,870
Alan.
131
00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:22,140
Yes.
132
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,130
Veronica, make your heart sing!
133
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,630
Just put it on the floor, dear.
134
00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:29,170
And action!
135
00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:33,440
I came in such a hurry,
my heart is still pounding.
136
00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:36,660
And I thought it was
Valentine's day.
137
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:48,670
I suppose it was colorful.
138
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,370
Cut!
139
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,130
Ahem.
140
00:08:25,150 --> 00:08:26,700
Oh.
141
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,270
Oh, yes. Delightful.
142
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,930
How are you today,
Mr. Crowninshield, sir?
143
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,560
Oh, the mail elf is here.
144
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,930
Mr. Elf.
145
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:38,630
Do you have anything
for me in there?
146
00:08:38,660 --> 00:08:40,400
What's with the sign?
147
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,240
Sorry. We're not allowed
to discuss our salaries.
148
00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:46,460
Crownie's posted a memo.
149
00:08:46,490 --> 00:08:49,470
There's a love letter
from a soldier in there.
150
00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:50,930
A real letter?
151
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,270
No. Another post card.
152
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:54,400
War must have run him
short on paper.
153
00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:56,600
What's the difference
between the red...
154
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,330
Don't touch that!
155
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:03,240
"Dear, if you can send
a cake of working soap,
156
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:07,630
I think I can arrange
to buy this castle. Ed."
157
00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:10,700
Such passion. I am overwhelmed.
158
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,200
"If I were better paid,
159
00:09:12,230 --> 00:09:14,560
"I might feel happier about
murdering time.
160
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,060
"In an overheated theater.
161
00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:18,130
"Indeed, given the state
in which I hobbled home,
162
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,200
"bruised and beaten
by the mediocrity.
163
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:22,170
Of both author and cast..."
164
00:09:22,190 --> 00:09:24,660
My, our vines do bear
tender grapes...
165
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,000
"I can only guess
that my refusal.
166
00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:27,330
"To list their names here.
167
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,470
"Is due to a lingering sense
of playground honor.
168
00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:30,770
I'm not going to tell on them."
169
00:09:30,790 --> 00:09:32,170
Like it, crownie?
170
00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:33,836
I would have liked it
better if it hadn't been...
171
00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:35,200
Another dull thug.
172
00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:37,970
From another one of
your prodigious producers.
173
00:09:37,990 --> 00:09:38,930
That had nothing to do with it.
174
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,470
How silly of me.
175
00:09:40,490 --> 00:09:43,400
Was it a very big advertisement
he was going to take out?
176
00:09:43,430 --> 00:09:45,660
Not that it matters,
but, yes, a quarter page.
177
00:09:45,690 --> 00:09:48,170
Benchley, why didn't you cut
that bit about her salary?
178
00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:49,300
Would that it were in my power.
179
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,070
To alter Mrs. Parker's wages.
180
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,730
Get rid of that ludicrous sign.
Didn't you see my memo?
181
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,760
I'm hungry. Aren't you?
182
00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:59,070
No. I'm Mr. Sherwood.
183
00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:02,140
You inspire deathless prose.
184
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,860
I think we'd better
feed Mrs. Parker.
185
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:04,700
Before she gets cranky.
186
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:05,930
Be careful.
187
00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:07,536
You know she bites
the hand that feeds her.
188
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:11,470
Oh, I do not. Do I?
189
00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:52,700
Oh, shit.
190
00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:05,730
I thought I was late.
191
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:08,370
Not so anyone would notice.
192
00:11:08,390 --> 00:11:11,140
Only three hours.
193
00:11:14,690 --> 00:11:17,630
What are we doing?
May I come in?
194
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:41,200
It smells like home.
195
00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:49,700
Thank you.
196
00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:54,060
You must be terribly hot.
197
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:56,760
No. No. Not at all.
198
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,460
Oh, dear. We can't.
199
00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:17,070
Why not?
200
00:12:17,090 --> 00:12:19,330
Don't you want to
feel married again?
201
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:23,270
I have to be at the
theater in half an hour.
202
00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:24,560
Musical?
203
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:26,630
No. Ibsen.
204
00:12:26,650 --> 00:12:28,070
Who's he?
205
00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:29,370
You'll like it, idiot.
206
00:12:29,390 --> 00:12:32,340
Gun goes off in the third act.
207
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:40,030
So, where is this
mythical husband of yours?
208
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:43,070
Tonight I rank third
in his affections,
209
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:46,260
behind misters hague and hague.
210
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:48,070
Please.
211
00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:50,330
I look pitiful enough.
212
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:59,500
Oh...
213
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,590
Let's hope the actors don't put
too much glug into their lines.
214
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,570
Eddie!
215
00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:15,100
Eddie, are you hungry?
216
00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:27,100
Eddie.
217
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,270
Eddie, wake up.
218
00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:31,570
Oh, god.
219
00:13:31,590 --> 00:13:34,100
Eddie, wake up. Wake up.
220
00:13:36,290 --> 00:13:38,100
Kiss me.
221
00:13:39,590 --> 00:13:41,600
Oh, I missed you.
222
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:52,070
Lady, lady, never speak of
the tears that burn your cheek...
223
00:13:52,090 --> 00:13:54,360
She will never win him,
224
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:58,930
whose words had shown
she feared to lose.
225
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:02,570
Be you wise and never sad,
226
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:05,560
you will get your lovely lad.
227
00:14:05,590 --> 00:14:09,370
Never serious be, nor true,
228
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:13,370
and your wish
will come to you...
229
00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:16,360
And if that
makes you happy, kid,
230
00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:19,600
you'll be the first it ever did.
231
00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:28,530
There's the phone.
232
00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:32,940
Young Mr. Benchley,
where are you going over there?
233
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,730
Hello.
234
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,070
Hello, gertrude. It's Dorothy.
235
00:14:38,090 --> 00:14:40,070
Something's come up with work.
236
00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:42,940
May I speak with
Mr. Benchley, please?
237
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,660
Certainly. One moment.
238
00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:48,100
It's Dorothy.
239
00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:51,640
On a Sunday.
240
00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:53,100
A Sunday.
241
00:14:55,090 --> 00:14:56,960
Mrs. Parker, what happened?
242
00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:59,070
Crownie fired me.
243
00:14:59,090 --> 00:15:01,570
He took me out to lunch,
244
00:15:01,590 --> 00:15:03,360
and then he fired me.
245
00:15:03,390 --> 00:15:07,070
He didn't even have
the nerve to say why.
246
00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:10,070
You and I both know why.
247
00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:12,070
I've wrecked my career.
248
00:15:12,090 --> 00:15:14,360
Kindly direct me to hell.
249
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,960
Take two aspirin,
lightly grilled.
250
00:15:16,990 --> 00:15:19,600
I'll be in on the next train.
251
00:15:21,290 --> 00:15:22,570
Well...
252
00:15:22,590 --> 00:15:24,060
Don't tell me.
253
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:26,060
I suppose she started crying.
254
00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:27,370
They fired her.
255
00:15:27,390 --> 00:15:31,100
She did get a bit weepy, yes.
256
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,040
And then the bastard offered me.
257
00:15:33,060 --> 00:15:34,730
A satisfactory rate.
258
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,230
What does that mean?
259
00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:37,370
Exactly.
260
00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:41,200
For a few little pieces at home.
261
00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:43,100
Like I'm a spoiled virgin.
262
00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:44,060
And no one else would have me.
263
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,560
You're not spoiled.
264
00:15:45,590 --> 00:15:47,070
I'm not?
265
00:15:47,090 --> 00:15:49,630
Just highly seasoned.
266
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:52,100
What does that mean, Bob?
267
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,570
What were you two doing
when I was overseas?
268
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,370
Nothing, ed,
269
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:03,560
which is a lot more
than you weren't doing.
270
00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:05,600
Do you mind?
271
00:16:07,290 --> 00:16:08,370
I'm leaving.
272
00:16:08,390 --> 00:16:11,070
I was expecting a raise,
I really was.
273
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:32,400
Do you mind?
274
00:16:32,430 --> 00:16:33,960
Yes, all right. Then I'll stop.
275
00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:35,460
The day will arrive.
276
00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:38,200
When they come to me on their
knees and beg me to drum.
277
00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:39,970
There will be three
of you today?
278
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:43,430
Yes. Only three.
279
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:44,900
I wonder what
the least expensive item is.
280
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,400
On this menu.
281
00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:48,130
The eggs.
282
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,970
Uh, yes, I believe
I'll have the eggs.
283
00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:53,660
Same for me, please.
Loosely scrambled,
284
00:16:53,690 --> 00:16:55,600
like my brains.
285
00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:58,930
Could I get a half-order?
286
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,030
Hello, guppies!
287
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,270
What colossal trumpery.
288
00:17:01,290 --> 00:17:03,400
Is taking place at vanity fair?
289
00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:06,530
Well, Mr. Sherwood
was replaced last week.
290
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:08,670
By the woman who gives
music lessons.
291
00:17:08,690 --> 00:17:10,430
To conde nast's daughter.
292
00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:12,400
A woman, I might add,
who's so full of charm,
293
00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:15,630
she's practically
panting with it.
294
00:17:15,650 --> 00:17:17,400
And then Mrs. Parker
was fired...
295
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:18,870
Because, I presume,
296
00:17:18,890 --> 00:17:20,970
vanity fair is a magazine
of no opinion,
297
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:21,800
and she has plenty.
298
00:17:21,830 --> 00:17:23,300
And you, benchley?
299
00:17:23,330 --> 00:17:26,530
We hear your income is
running well into one figure.
300
00:17:26,550 --> 00:17:28,070
Go ahead, Rob. Tell them.
301
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,530
I trust this is for publication.
302
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,770
Benchley,
one can't simply repeat rumors.
303
00:17:31,790 --> 00:17:33,170
And do it with some complexity.
304
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:37,000
I am resigning from
vanity fair...
305
00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:38,400
There will be five of you today?
306
00:17:38,420 --> 00:17:40,430
Yes. Only five.
307
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:43,300
I'm, uh... I'm resigning
from the magazine.
308
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,900
Because Mrs. Parker's dismissal
was remarkably stupid...
309
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:49,700
Hello, Helen!
310
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:50,670
And unfair.
311
00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:51,700
Helen Hayes.
312
00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:53,990
And if I've learned anything...
313
00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:57,000
I've allowed them
to seat five in the booth.
314
00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:59,000
I know it's a little disorderly,
315
00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:02,970
but I think we can keep them
from being disruptive.
316
00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:05,000
Everyone, Ross and I have set.
317
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:06,830
A September date
for the wedding!
318
00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:07,970
Congratulations!
319
00:18:07,990 --> 00:18:09,670
Call me Cox.
320
00:18:09,690 --> 00:18:10,970
It's damned embarrassing.
321
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,570
And I'm keeping my maiden name.
322
00:18:12,590 --> 00:18:13,890
No goddamn music!
323
00:18:13,930 --> 00:18:17,270
No marching down the
aisles to mendelssohn!
324
00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:18,800
I insist on picking out
the wedding ring.
325
00:18:18,820 --> 00:18:21,770
And making all the arrangements.
326
00:18:21,790 --> 00:18:23,000
It's settled!
327
00:18:23,030 --> 00:18:24,460
We must remodel
that ghastly house.
328
00:18:24,490 --> 00:18:26,130
Before I move in.
329
00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:28,870
Aleck,
you left the tub full this morning.
330
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:31,240
In the hopes
that you might take a bath.
331
00:18:31,260 --> 00:18:33,730
I tell you, that house
reeks of sex.
332
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,160
Aleck, how would you know?
333
00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:37,170
A childhood bout of the mumps.
334
00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:39,500
Killed the impulse in me.
335
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,830
Don't apologize.
336
00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:41,970
Celibacy sharpens the senses.
337
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,960
Is this a dagger
I see before me?
338
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:46,800
I think this calls for
a cele-bation.
339
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:48,000
I may not be able to vote red,
340
00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:49,430
but I can certainly drink it.
341
00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:51,840
Where's my bread?
342
00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:54,560
I'm hungry!
343
00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:57,770
Bring them some celery
and some popovers or something.
344
00:18:57,790 --> 00:18:59,870
Mr. Case already told me, sir.
345
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:02,000
Well, I knew that.
346
00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:03,990
Are you nervous?
Don't be nervous.
347
00:19:04,030 --> 00:19:05,430
I'll take care of you.
348
00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:07,970
Your royal highnesses,
I give you Marc connelly,
349
00:19:07,990 --> 00:19:10,130
fact-finder for
the morning telegraph.
350
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,000
Ah, the chorus girl's breakfast.
351
00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:15,130
Well, I don't actually write
for the telegraph.
352
00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:16,430
11.
353
00:19:16,450 --> 00:19:17,830
A bald man.
354
00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:19,000
Strange.
355
00:19:19,020 --> 00:19:21,300
It feels just like
my wife's behind.
356
00:19:21,330 --> 00:19:23,430
So it does!
357
00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:24,900
Ha ha ha!
358
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,300
Listen, everyone.
359
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,470
Ross is in the planning stages
of a brand-new weekly.
360
00:19:29,490 --> 00:19:31,970
Something similar to what you're doing now,
Ross?
361
00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:33,460
Just what the world
is waiting for,
362
00:19:33,490 --> 00:19:35,600
another publication for
little old ladies in dubuque.
363
00:19:35,620 --> 00:19:39,400
Don't ask us to be on your advisory board.
It'll ruin our appetites.
364
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:41,600
Does that mean you're
interested, aleck?
365
00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:43,360
You remind me a great deal.
366
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:44,730
Of my grandfather's coachman.
367
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,100
A horse's ass
would know the coachman.
368
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,770
Oh, here's Kaufman!
369
00:19:48,790 --> 00:19:50,670
George, over here!
370
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:51,900
Table for one, sir?
371
00:19:51,930 --> 00:19:53,590
Everyone, I'd like you to meet.
372
00:19:53,630 --> 00:19:56,330
My assistant at the New York times,
George s. Kaufman.
373
00:19:56,350 --> 00:19:56,900
A Jew.
374
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:57,570
Gesundheit.
375
00:19:57,590 --> 00:19:58,770
Shalom.
376
00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:00,100
I'm no longer
your assistant, aleck.
377
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,140
You haven't converted, I trust.
378
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,060
No, just promoted.
379
00:20:03,090 --> 00:20:04,160
You look terrible.
380
00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:05,560
Terrible would be
an improvement.
381
00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:06,800
Harold Ross,
American legion weekly.
382
00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:07,900
You shouldn't touch George.
383
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,300
George doesn't like
to be touched.
384
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,630
How many will there be
for lunch?
385
00:20:10,660 --> 00:20:13,630
There will be two of everybody!
386
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:15,630
Mr. Case won't like this.
387
00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,830
Oh, well. Case closed.
388
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:21,000
Yes, Bob? You rang?
389
00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:25,300
I... I... I'm afraid I have...
390
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:29,170
I am resigning my position
at vanity fair.
391
00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:30,430
Why?
392
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:33,300
Well, because my job,
if you could call it that,
393
00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:35,330
as managing editor
is no longer attractive.
394
00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:38,600
Without the extraordinary
talents of Mrs. Parker.
395
00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:41,000
And Mr. Sherwood.
396
00:20:41,030 --> 00:20:43,490
This is not a reckless decision.
397
00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:44,760
I'm a careful man,
398
00:20:44,790 --> 00:20:45,900
one who often wears a belt,
399
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,700
as well as suspenders.
400
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,370
Bravo. Bravo, Bob.
401
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:52,840
Think of us fondly, please,
402
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:54,930
as ships departing
a sinking rat.
403
00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:58,400
Well, make a good union man.
404
00:20:58,420 --> 00:20:59,530
Ha ha ha!
405
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,000
What was that all about?
406
00:21:01,030 --> 00:21:02,990
Uh, Mr. Woollcott,
407
00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:06,000
have to remind you,
as of this week,
408
00:21:06,020 --> 00:21:08,300
drinking alcohol
here is illegal.
409
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,870
Geoplenarian,
I am interested only in things.
410
00:21:11,890 --> 00:21:15,000
That are illegal, immoral,
or fattening.
411
00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:17,000
It's wine, not alcohol.
412
00:21:17,020 --> 00:21:18,470
Ice, please.
413
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,500
Are you all right, Mrs. Parker?
414
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,300
Oh, that man is a mess.
415
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,800
Kaufman... oh, I think
he's rather quick.
416
00:21:31,830 --> 00:21:33,140
Is that what his name is?
417
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:33,990
Yes.
418
00:21:34,030 --> 00:21:36,660
Oh, I never saw such a thing.
419
00:21:36,690 --> 00:21:39,970
He's a twitchy fella.
420
00:21:39,990 --> 00:21:44,500
Mr. Benchley, are you
quite sure about this?
421
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,000
Positive, Mrs. Parker.
422
00:21:46,020 --> 00:21:49,900
Listen, you can't buy
the kind of advertising.
423
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:50,730
They'll be giving us.
424
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:51,400
We'll be freelancers.
425
00:21:51,430 --> 00:21:52,240
Oh, my god.
426
00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:54,160
We'll write only what we like,
427
00:21:54,190 --> 00:21:57,630
not slave over a hot desk
for people like conde nast.
428
00:21:57,660 --> 00:22:00,330
Have you told gertrude?
429
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,500
Pardon.
430
00:22:07,020 --> 00:22:08,700
Is there a problem?
431
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:09,870
Don't worry about a thing.
432
00:22:09,890 --> 00:22:10,800
I've set this kind
of fracture before.
433
00:22:10,820 --> 00:22:11,940
Without much pain,
434
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:13,170
but we must get started
immediately.
435
00:22:13,190 --> 00:22:15,000
Mrs. Beemish,
please take a seat.
436
00:22:15,020 --> 00:22:15,800
Does it hurt?
437
00:22:15,820 --> 00:22:16,760
Oh, it's dreadful.
438
00:22:16,790 --> 00:22:17,600
Please don't try to speak.
439
00:22:17,620 --> 00:22:19,530
I need room to work.
440
00:22:22,790 --> 00:22:23,896
We'll rent an office together,
441
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:24,700
move in,
442
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:25,960
cheer each other on.
443
00:22:25,990 --> 00:22:27,700
You can try your dainty
hand at fiction,
444
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,030
and I'll start my history.
445
00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:32,930
Of the queen Anne humorists...
Both of them.
446
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,600
Mr. Benchley...
447
00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:38,970
I feel as though you're
proposing marriage.
448
00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:41,770
Many torments lie
in the small circle.
449
00:22:41,790 --> 00:22:43,690
Of a wedding ring.
450
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,330
What if it doesn't work?
451
00:22:45,350 --> 00:22:47,330
Well, we'll just yearn a living.
452
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:51,100
First, we need a name
for the office door.
453
00:22:51,130 --> 00:22:53,430
Utica drop forge
and tool company.
454
00:22:53,460 --> 00:22:54,530
Perfect.
455
00:22:54,550 --> 00:22:56,130
Robert benchley, president.
456
00:22:56,150 --> 00:22:59,670
Dorothy Parker, president.
457
00:22:59,690 --> 00:23:02,900
Dorothy...
458
00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:04,200
I could kiss you,
459
00:23:04,220 --> 00:23:07,900
but I'm not sure
it would come out right.
460
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,200
You're afraid you might.
461
00:23:10,220 --> 00:23:13,390
Melt the gold in my teeth.
462
00:23:13,430 --> 00:23:15,200
Huh?
463
00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:18,200
Afraid I might lose you.
464
00:23:18,220 --> 00:23:20,900
I know I'm losing Eddie.
465
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,690
I couldn't bear losing you, too.
466
00:23:23,730 --> 00:23:25,960
You'd have to wear a pretty
large hole in your pocket.
467
00:23:25,990 --> 00:23:29,000
To lose me, Mrs. Parker.
468
00:23:29,020 --> 00:23:30,770
The eggs are getting cold.
469
00:23:30,790 --> 00:23:32,140
Ah.
470
00:23:43,430 --> 00:23:44,900
Much better.
471
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,900
Have to be comfortable
when I sit down to write,
472
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,900
because that's where I shine.
473
00:23:54,420 --> 00:23:55,900
Park bench.
474
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,130
Mm-hmm.
475
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,200
May I tell her who's calling?
476
00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:01,400
Does the cent sign
go before or after?
477
00:24:01,430 --> 00:24:02,670
After.
478
00:24:02,690 --> 00:24:03,930
This is Mr. Nichols.
479
00:24:03,950 --> 00:24:06,700
Wants to know
where your story is.
480
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,200
Oh.
481
00:24:08,220 --> 00:24:10,430
Tell him something, will you?
482
00:24:11,730 --> 00:24:15,000
I'm afraid Mrs. Parker's had
some sort of an attack.
483
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:17,230
They're in the process now
of freezing her appendix.
484
00:24:17,260 --> 00:24:18,770
The doctor thinks we may get it.
485
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:22,200
To listen to reason this way.
486
00:24:22,230 --> 00:24:25,400
Yeah. All right. Certainly.
487
00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:26,730
Good-bye.
488
00:24:28,220 --> 00:24:30,900
Has to be in by tomorrow.
489
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,630
Oh. Shit.
490
00:24:33,660 --> 00:24:38,400
I may die before a train of
thought leaves the station.
491
00:24:38,420 --> 00:24:40,900
Me, too.
492
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,900
Let's change places.
493
00:24:42,930 --> 00:24:44,730
All right.
494
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,900
Hmm... well. Pardon me.
495
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,740
Excuse me.
496
00:25:02,660 --> 00:25:08,070
We'd build a little bungalow,
if you and I were one,
497
00:25:08,090 --> 00:25:13,790
and carefully we'd plan it
so we'd get the morning sun.
498
00:25:13,820 --> 00:25:17,770
I'd rise each day at rosy dawn.
499
00:25:17,790 --> 00:25:19,900
And bustle gaily down.
500
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,190
In evening's cool,
you'd spray the lawn.
501
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:26,260
When you come back from town.
502
00:25:26,290 --> 00:25:29,900
If you and I were one, my dear,
503
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,240
a model life we'd lead.
504
00:25:32,260 --> 00:25:36,200
We'd travel on
from year to year,
505
00:25:36,220 --> 00:25:40,630
at no increase of speed.
506
00:25:40,660 --> 00:25:44,100
Ah, clear to me
the vision of the things.
507
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:47,070
That we should do.
508
00:25:47,090 --> 00:25:50,970
And so I think it best, my love,
509
00:25:50,990 --> 00:25:53,390
to string along as two.
510
00:25:53,430 --> 00:25:54,900
Here, dear?
511
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,430
Oh, to the right.
512
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:00,700
Oh, how do you do?
I'm neyso mcmain.
513
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:01,900
I'm your neighbor.
514
00:26:01,930 --> 00:26:04,160
Would you like a drink?
515
00:26:04,190 --> 00:26:05,860
Sworn off. Thank you.
516
00:26:05,890 --> 00:26:08,200
Oh, well, if you should
ever want to come by,
517
00:26:08,220 --> 00:26:11,270
my door is open, day and night.
518
00:26:11,290 --> 00:26:14,930
Hotel algonquin. Please hold.
519
00:26:14,950 --> 00:26:17,200
O'Neill's won
the pulitzer, aleck!
520
00:26:17,220 --> 00:26:19,200
Hey, John. How are you?
521
00:26:19,220 --> 00:26:21,770
Hello, Mr. Woollcott.
How you doing?
522
00:26:21,790 --> 00:26:23,560
You know everyone.
Everyone, will.
523
00:26:23,590 --> 00:26:24,900
Mr. Benchley.
524
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,560
How do you do? Robert benchley.
525
00:26:26,590 --> 00:26:27,900
Will Rogers.
526
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,700
Nice to meet you, miss Parker.
527
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,930
I never liked a man
I didn't meet.
528
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,430
Thank you, I guess.
529
00:26:34,450 --> 00:26:36,730
So, aleck, will Rogers
for president.
530
00:26:36,750 --> 00:26:37,530
What do you think?
531
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:38,900
Get out of here.
532
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:39,970
Now that women have the vote,
533
00:26:39,990 --> 00:26:41,100
what do you think, ladies?
534
00:26:41,130 --> 00:26:44,600
It is a lovely hat.
535
00:26:44,620 --> 00:26:46,960
It's the hat that gets
you in the white house.
536
00:26:46,990 --> 00:26:48,300
This must be the smallest table.
537
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,300
In the biggest city
on the planet here.
538
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:51,606
You folks got sore knees
under there?
539
00:26:51,630 --> 00:26:56,730
We need a ouija board.
We'd divine the future.
540
00:26:56,750 --> 00:26:58,600
Future looks
pretty divine to me.
541
00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:05,200
Georges, tell Mr. Case
I've had a great idea.
542
00:27:05,220 --> 00:27:07,230
He might not believe it, sir.
543
00:27:07,260 --> 00:27:10,570
If Ziegfeld changed the name
of the show...
544
00:27:10,590 --> 00:27:11,770
I'm sorry. What did you say?
545
00:27:11,790 --> 00:27:13,630
Wisdom, every word.
546
00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:15,730
Serge.
547
00:28:40,290 --> 00:28:43,560
Ross, use the word "dog"
in a sentence.
548
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:47,670
We'll give you time.
549
00:28:47,690 --> 00:28:48,900
Get her a drink.
550
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,430
Would you like a drink?
551
00:28:50,460 --> 00:28:53,030
Please, come.
552
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:55,960
Well, neyso, I think.
553
00:28:55,990 --> 00:28:57,400
If you loiter in your
studio long enough,
554
00:28:57,420 --> 00:29:00,000
the whole world will
drift in and out.
555
00:29:00,020 --> 00:29:01,070
That's the point.
556
00:29:01,090 --> 00:29:02,140
Sour trumpet at the end.
557
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,130
Of a third-rate marching band.
558
00:29:04,150 --> 00:29:06,500
Round of cards?
I'll get the girls.
559
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:07,830
The girls?
560
00:29:07,860 --> 00:29:09,230
Poker. Yes, I'd love to.
561
00:29:09,260 --> 00:29:10,700
You're a celebrity,
George, face it.
562
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,960
Right. A temporary one.
563
00:29:12,990 --> 00:29:13,990
There's not another kind.
564
00:29:14,020 --> 00:29:15,630
My point exactly.
565
00:29:15,650 --> 00:29:16,730
Come on, Don. Ardent fidelity.
566
00:29:16,750 --> 00:29:17,670
That's the first thing.
567
00:29:17,690 --> 00:29:18,730
That Springs to your mind.
568
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:19,970
When you think of Mrs. Parker.
569
00:29:19,990 --> 00:29:21,200
Well, it's not the first thing,
570
00:29:21,230 --> 00:29:26,060
but gradually, I work
my way back around.
571
00:29:26,090 --> 00:29:27,200
Let's take a walk through here.
572
00:29:27,220 --> 00:29:29,030
I'll show you some
of miss mcmain's.
573
00:29:29,060 --> 00:29:31,700
Extraordinarily
useless object d'art.
574
00:29:31,730 --> 00:29:33,490
Your apartment is just lovely.
575
00:29:33,530 --> 00:29:35,900
You think?
It's that slavic architecture.
576
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,770
It's just like a dormitory here.
577
00:29:37,790 --> 00:29:39,770
Oh, ho.
578
00:29:39,790 --> 00:29:41,900
Just like a dormitory here.
579
00:29:41,930 --> 00:29:43,090
I was just saying,
580
00:29:43,130 --> 00:29:44,400
the par... well,
here they are now.
581
00:29:44,420 --> 00:29:46,660
The Parkers live just
across the hall.
582
00:29:46,690 --> 00:29:48,430
That's why...
583
00:29:48,460 --> 00:29:50,730
It's kind of you letting
Robert sleep over.
584
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:51,870
When he works late.
585
00:29:51,890 --> 00:29:52,990
Sometimes I think.
586
00:29:53,030 --> 00:29:54,730
You see more of him than I do.
587
00:29:54,750 --> 00:29:55,700
I'm always very modest.
588
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:56,560
You know that, gertrude.
589
00:29:56,590 --> 00:29:57,730
It must be wonderful.
590
00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:59,770
To never have babies
waking you up.
591
00:29:59,790 --> 00:30:02,430
They don't allow
babies in dormitories.
592
00:30:02,460 --> 00:30:04,860
Not that there's anything
wrong with babies.
593
00:30:04,890 --> 00:30:05,830
If there were, gertrude,
594
00:30:05,850 --> 00:30:08,570
you'd be arrested by now.
595
00:30:08,590 --> 00:30:11,200
Ha ha! Well...
596
00:30:11,230 --> 00:30:15,030
I'm sorry. I...
I didn't understand.
597
00:30:15,050 --> 00:30:16,900
For being so good with them.
598
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:18,330
Thank you.
599
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,700
And you are good
with them, god knows.
600
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:20,800
They worship her.
601
00:30:20,820 --> 00:30:23,630
I don't think
they know who I am.
602
00:30:23,660 --> 00:30:24,666
Aren't you and Eddie anxious.
603
00:30:24,690 --> 00:30:26,060
To start a family of your own?
604
00:30:26,090 --> 00:30:28,870
Oh, good... heavens no.
605
00:30:28,890 --> 00:30:31,470
My mother was 42
when I was born.
606
00:30:31,490 --> 00:30:32,766
Of course, then
she promptly went.
607
00:30:32,790 --> 00:30:33,960
And died on me,
608
00:30:33,980 --> 00:30:36,960
so maybe waiting
isn't such a good idea.
609
00:30:36,990 --> 00:30:39,900
Reminds me,
I need another drink.
610
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:40,670
Anybody?
611
00:30:40,690 --> 00:30:42,860
Uh, no. No.
612
00:30:42,890 --> 00:30:44,900
You know, my mother
was 34 when she had me,
613
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,130
but then again,
she had the good graces.
614
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,570
To wait until I was 12
before she passed away.
615
00:30:49,590 --> 00:30:52,890
She was always
the politest of women.
616
00:30:52,930 --> 00:30:55,100
Oh, well, here's
a lovely picture...
617
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,000
Benchley and his two wives.
618
00:30:57,020 --> 00:30:57,800
Not nice, aleck.
619
00:30:57,820 --> 00:30:59,130
Oh, come on, Sherry.
620
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,600
Don't say it's
an intellectual relationship.
621
00:31:01,630 --> 00:31:02,670
What does that mean?
622
00:31:02,690 --> 00:31:03,930
Yes, what does that mean?
623
00:31:03,950 --> 00:31:06,500
In their minds,
they "mmm" like bunnies.
624
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,030
Oh, Mr. Benchley.
625
00:31:09,060 --> 00:31:11,200
How's Eddie doing?
He seems all right.
626
00:31:11,230 --> 00:31:14,830
Well, I think he's
off the morphine, anyway.
627
00:31:14,850 --> 00:31:16,530
Now he wants to move
back to Hartford.
628
00:31:16,550 --> 00:31:18,570
To be near his family.
629
00:31:18,590 --> 00:31:20,200
I don't know.
630
00:31:20,220 --> 00:31:22,690
Maybe it'll be easier
for him there.
631
00:31:22,730 --> 00:31:26,060
At least they know
how to keep house.
632
00:31:26,090 --> 00:31:29,130
Wifely chores can be
lethal, Mr. Benchley.
633
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:30,630
Only if done properly.
634
00:31:30,660 --> 00:31:32,990
You're much too hard on yourself,
Mrs. Parker.
635
00:31:33,030 --> 00:31:34,830
A little garbage gives a house.
636
00:31:34,850 --> 00:31:35,930
That lived-in feeling.
637
00:31:35,950 --> 00:31:37,100
Robert.
638
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,570
Pull a bed sheet
over it or something.
639
00:31:39,590 --> 00:31:41,170
The coward's way out?
640
00:31:41,190 --> 00:31:42,540
Robert.
641
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,130
Excuse me, please.
I must find the ladies room.
642
00:31:46,150 --> 00:31:48,630
It's just to the left here.
Right...
643
00:31:48,660 --> 00:31:50,270
Right around the corner there.
644
00:31:50,290 --> 00:31:52,690
Do you know where
the ladies room is?
645
00:31:52,730 --> 00:31:54,430
Here, take one of mine.
646
00:31:54,450 --> 00:31:55,760
No, I don't drink.
647
00:31:55,790 --> 00:31:57,530
All right.
It's just in the back.
648
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,570
Oh, uh, you've, uh,
forgotten your, uh...
649
00:32:00,590 --> 00:32:03,330
Soul, as usual.
650
00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:07,170
If our Mrs. Parker used her body.
651
00:32:07,190 --> 00:32:09,170
The way she uses her mouth...
652
00:32:09,190 --> 00:32:10,500
Dottie, 20 questions.
653
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,100
I'm thinking of a person.
654
00:32:12,130 --> 00:32:14,100
I'm so happy for you, Ross.
655
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,200
Would he be the kind of man.
656
00:32:16,220 --> 00:32:18,230
To put the wings back on flies?
657
00:32:18,260 --> 00:32:20,000
I know nothing about entomology.
658
00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:22,330
Compassion, not bugs. Right?
659
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,660
Who's that sitting
with deems Taylor?
660
00:32:24,690 --> 00:32:26,160
Mary Kennedy.
661
00:32:26,190 --> 00:32:28,370
She's consoling him
through his divorce.
662
00:32:28,390 --> 00:32:30,000
But if I were you,
663
00:32:30,020 --> 00:32:33,090
I would be paying more
attention to my own flanks.
664
00:32:33,130 --> 00:32:35,360
Than to his at the moment.
665
00:32:37,260 --> 00:32:40,670
Paula, I see you've met
my little husband.
666
00:32:40,690 --> 00:32:43,190
Oh! So this is Eddie.
667
00:32:43,230 --> 00:32:43,990
Hmm.
668
00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:45,960
Well, how's your arm, dear?
669
00:32:45,990 --> 00:32:47,300
My arm?
670
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:48,730
Why, yes.
Dottie said you broke it.
671
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,170
Sharpening a pencil?
672
00:32:51,190 --> 00:32:52,760
Did she? Excuse me.
673
00:32:52,790 --> 00:32:55,860
You did say that,
didn't you, dot?
674
00:32:55,890 --> 00:32:58,870
Paula, your slip is showing.
675
00:32:58,890 --> 00:33:00,730
It's on purpose, dear.
676
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,070
Hmm.
677
00:33:02,090 --> 00:33:04,400
How like your acting that is.
678
00:33:04,420 --> 00:33:06,660
Excuse me.
679
00:33:06,690 --> 00:33:08,370
Ha ha ha.
680
00:33:08,390 --> 00:33:10,670
Ah, hello, frank.
681
00:33:10,690 --> 00:33:13,060
Take care of your body, Paula,
682
00:33:13,090 --> 00:33:14,860
because when it goes,
683
00:33:14,890 --> 00:33:17,170
you'll have nothing left.
684
00:33:20,690 --> 00:33:22,100
Shouldn't you leave some.
685
00:33:22,130 --> 00:33:23,630
For the other guests, Eddie?
686
00:33:23,650 --> 00:33:24,830
I have to exercise my arm.
687
00:33:24,850 --> 00:33:27,170
After all those weeks
in a cast, dear.
688
00:33:27,190 --> 00:33:28,530
I never said such a thing.
689
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:29,970
Sure, you did.
690
00:33:29,990 --> 00:33:32,460
They know better than
to expect anything from me,
691
00:33:32,490 --> 00:33:34,130
thanks to you.
692
00:33:34,150 --> 00:33:35,130
You don't want to become.
693
00:33:35,150 --> 00:33:37,070
The town drunk, Eddie,
694
00:33:37,090 --> 00:33:38,070
not in Manhattan.
695
00:33:38,090 --> 00:33:39,030
You know, I think that you.
696
00:33:39,060 --> 00:33:41,770
Ought to drink more, dear.
697
00:33:41,790 --> 00:33:45,100
Then maybe you could
stop nagging me.
698
00:33:47,990 --> 00:33:53,690
I may be a dimwit
and a lousy drunk, dear,
699
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,060
but you and your friends...
700
00:33:58,620 --> 00:33:59,870
Eddie.
701
00:33:59,890 --> 00:34:01,170
Oh!
702
00:34:01,190 --> 00:34:04,700
It's o.K. It's o.K. It's o.K.
703
00:34:33,580 --> 00:34:35,530
I'm sorry.
704
00:34:35,550 --> 00:34:37,170
I'm sorry. I...
705
00:34:37,190 --> 00:34:39,170
I didn't know what to do,
706
00:34:39,190 --> 00:34:43,160
so I... I just held my breath.
707
00:34:43,180 --> 00:34:46,060
Are... are you all right?
708
00:34:49,190 --> 00:34:51,270
I'm just so grateful
Robert doesn't drink.
709
00:34:51,290 --> 00:34:52,630
His uncle did, you know,
710
00:34:52,660 --> 00:34:55,500
so he's seen the damage done.
711
00:34:56,690 --> 00:34:59,200
Do you really like that?
712
00:35:00,790 --> 00:35:02,100
Not much.
713
00:35:02,130 --> 00:35:05,700
But it's better than
a sock in the eye.
714
00:35:09,390 --> 00:35:10,370
Ha ha ha!
715
00:35:10,390 --> 00:35:13,490
So anyway, I asked him
if he'd ever read.
716
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:14,860
Edna ferber's new book.
717
00:35:14,890 --> 00:35:16,500
It's a very full book.
718
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,130
Full of what, Ross?
719
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:19,500
Full of not being edited.
720
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:20,930
And this from the editor.
721
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,336
Of American legion
magazine, mind you.
722
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:23,460
You could do.
723
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:25,830
With a little trimming yourself,
my dumpling.
724
00:35:25,850 --> 00:35:26,660
So it's thin, thinning,
725
00:35:26,690 --> 00:35:27,830
or needs thinning.
726
00:35:27,860 --> 00:35:29,200
Three words aleck
has never heard of.
727
00:35:29,220 --> 00:35:32,000
That's almost
a subjective completion.
728
00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:34,030
What Ross means is that
stories flow easily.
729
00:35:34,050 --> 00:35:35,360
From edna's fingertips.
730
00:35:35,390 --> 00:35:37,500
I understand she fairly whistles.
731
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:39,000
At her typewriter.
732
00:35:39,020 --> 00:35:41,800
And there was that poor
sucker flaubert.
733
00:35:41,830 --> 00:35:43,790
Rolling around
on the floor for days,
734
00:35:43,820 --> 00:35:45,600
looking for just
the right words.
735
00:35:45,620 --> 00:35:48,170
Well, dottie, I do
love your pieces,
736
00:35:48,190 --> 00:35:50,170
and when Ross launches
his new magazine,
737
00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:52,170
you'll have to be part of it.
738
00:35:52,190 --> 00:35:54,160
No other woman
writes like you do.
739
00:35:54,190 --> 00:35:55,660
Who would want to?
740
00:35:55,690 --> 00:35:57,430
Listen, I read your new piece.
741
00:35:57,460 --> 00:35:58,230
In the smart set.
742
00:35:58,260 --> 00:35:59,570
Over and over again, dottie.
743
00:35:59,590 --> 00:36:00,700
It was wonderful.
744
00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:01,970
How sweet, Ross.
745
00:36:01,990 --> 00:36:03,760
Didn't he understand
it the first time?
746
00:36:06,550 --> 00:36:08,400
Alan, dust off your tutu.
It's official.
747
00:36:08,420 --> 00:36:10,100
We've rented
the 49th street theater.
748
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:11,570
For Sunday, April 30th.
749
00:36:11,590 --> 00:36:14,160
Bravo! Hey!
750
00:36:14,190 --> 00:36:16,960
As our treasurer, I feel
compelled to ask...
751
00:36:16,990 --> 00:36:18,130
How much?
752
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:19,470
I made a great deal.
753
00:36:19,490 --> 00:36:21,340
They gave us the sleeves
off their vests.
754
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:22,930
Kaufman should have negotiated.
755
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:24,030
He's the Christ killer.
756
00:36:24,050 --> 00:36:25,460
One more slur
upon my race, aleck,
757
00:36:25,490 --> 00:36:27,030
and I'm walking away
from this table,
758
00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:29,630
out of the dining room,
and away from this hotel.
759
00:36:29,660 --> 00:36:30,700
I trust that Mrs. Parker.
760
00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:34,530
Will walk out with me halfway?
761
00:36:34,550 --> 00:36:35,760
Raoul fleischmann was 14.
762
00:36:35,790 --> 00:36:37,870
Before he realized he was a Jew.
763
00:36:37,890 --> 00:36:39,900
I was 16 before
I realized I was a boy.
764
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,840
What convinced you?
765
00:36:41,860 --> 00:36:42,930
Gravity.
766
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:44,630
Sex laws of a Newton.
767
00:36:44,650 --> 00:36:47,170
Mmm. Chemin de fer.
768
00:36:47,190 --> 00:36:48,430
Mirabile dictum.
769
00:36:48,460 --> 00:36:50,000
Oh! Oh!
770
00:36:50,020 --> 00:36:51,240
What on earth
are they talking about?
771
00:36:51,260 --> 00:36:52,660
And don't tell me
you understand.
772
00:36:52,690 --> 00:36:56,060
Too much for your precious ears.
773
00:36:56,090 --> 00:36:59,370
Why,
speaking of stage-struck Jewish nuns,
774
00:36:59,390 --> 00:37:01,400
here's edna!
775
00:37:01,430 --> 00:37:04,100
You almost look like
a man today, edna.
776
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:05,960
So do you, aleck.
777
00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:09,170
Madam ferber's so
diligent in her duties,
778
00:37:09,190 --> 00:37:11,100
I'm surprised
she's deigned to join us.
779
00:37:11,130 --> 00:37:13,160
Well, coffee and sandwiches
aren't my usual,
780
00:37:13,180 --> 00:37:14,930
but don't make me out
a dullard to your friends.
781
00:37:14,950 --> 00:37:16,900
I always say, "there's
no good sauce for play."
782
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:18,530
Like hard work."
783
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,330
Please, sit down.
784
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:21,800
Bite your tongue, mistress,
785
00:37:21,830 --> 00:37:25,660
before our Mrs. Parker
does it for you.
786
00:37:25,690 --> 00:37:27,200
Ah, the two of you split.
787
00:37:27,220 --> 00:37:28,870
Without having written
a flop yet, hey, Marc?
788
00:37:28,890 --> 00:37:30,200
That'll be the day.
789
00:37:30,220 --> 00:37:32,760
Oh, flops...
These days, they're just a play.
790
00:37:32,790 --> 00:37:34,560
Where no one wears
evening clothes.
791
00:37:34,590 --> 00:37:37,170
An edna ferberating statement
if ever I've heard one.
792
00:37:37,190 --> 00:37:39,670
Oh, that couldn't be
ferber from the truth.
793
00:37:39,690 --> 00:37:41,040
You know what I admire?
794
00:37:41,060 --> 00:37:42,140
An artist who's got enough brio.
795
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,030
To embrace main street.
796
00:37:44,050 --> 00:37:45,030
Though the range of his works.
797
00:37:45,050 --> 00:37:47,730
May be from bad to horrible?
798
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:49,630
I think far too wide a stretch.
799
00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:51,840
Is made of the word "artist,".
800
00:37:51,860 --> 00:37:52,730
Because I don't think.
801
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:55,030
That word is elastic.
802
00:37:55,050 --> 00:38:00,030
If I did, I'd be better company.
803
00:38:00,060 --> 00:38:01,470
Well, I think.
804
00:38:01,490 --> 00:38:04,800
You're wonderful
company, Mrs. Parker.
805
00:38:04,820 --> 00:38:07,830
Homemade fudge, anyone?
806
00:38:07,860 --> 00:38:09,170
Edna, uh...
807
00:38:09,190 --> 00:38:10,870
I love your fudge, George.
808
00:38:10,890 --> 00:38:12,490
Who's the actual producer.
809
00:38:12,530 --> 00:38:14,130
Of no good ring?
810
00:38:14,150 --> 00:38:15,430
My little dream Princess,
811
00:38:15,450 --> 00:38:19,200
I will plan, cast, and Polish
the entire revue.
812
00:38:19,220 --> 00:38:21,670
With my usual
revolutionary taste.
813
00:38:21,690 --> 00:38:22,990
The devil you will.
814
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:28,600
Ladies and gentlemen,
815
00:38:28,620 --> 00:38:33,260
tonight, 12 rounds in 3 acts.
816
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:37,500
Of unregulated artistic impulse.
817
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,730
In the well-lit corner,
818
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,170
the vicious circle.
819
00:38:41,190 --> 00:38:43,360
Of the hotel algonquin.
820
00:38:44,750 --> 00:38:45,900
Algonquin.
821
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:47,670
And in the darkened corner,
822
00:38:47,690 --> 00:38:49,100
well, the sort of thing.
823
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,740
One usually finds in
a darkened corner.
824
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,460
Tonight, the no-walkout rule.
825
00:38:54,490 --> 00:38:56,260
Will be in effect,
826
00:38:56,290 --> 00:38:58,200
and our judges this evening.
827
00:38:58,220 --> 00:39:00,670
Will be your trampled
sensitivities.
828
00:39:00,690 --> 00:39:03,530
We shall be quite vulgar
and unduly exhibitionist,
829
00:39:03,550 --> 00:39:07,000
chief characteristic
distinguishing man from beast,
830
00:39:07,020 --> 00:39:10,930
and so now, as usual,
we'll shoot ourselves.
831
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:21,270
♪ We got the blues
832
00:39:21,290 --> 00:39:25,230
♪ we believe we said before
we got the blues ♪
833
00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:28,700
♪ they're little flappers,
never growin' up ♪
834
00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:32,190
♪ and they've all been flappin'
since belasco was a pup ♪
835
00:39:32,230 --> 00:39:33,630
♪ we got the blues
836
00:39:33,650 --> 00:39:34,730
♪ they've got the blues
837
00:39:34,750 --> 00:39:36,000
♪ we got the blues...
838
00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:37,730
Didn't know you played.
839
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:39,700
Yes. That was my execution.
840
00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:42,290
♪ We got the blues
841
00:39:42,330 --> 00:39:45,700
♪ I'm an ingenue,
and I've got the blues ♪
842
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:49,400
♪ as everyone can plainly see ♪
843
00:39:49,420 --> 00:39:53,190
♪ it's 'cause an ingenue
must promise to ♪
844
00:39:53,220 --> 00:39:56,460
♪ imprison her virginity ♪
845
00:39:56,490 --> 00:40:00,900
♪ I check my maidenhead
in my producer's bed ♪
846
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,600
♪ oh, gosh, I guess
the joke's on me ♪
847
00:40:04,620 --> 00:40:05,700
♪ we got the blues...
848
00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:07,170
They're extremely depressed,
849
00:40:07,190 --> 00:40:10,000
and there's nothing
that I can do about it.
850
00:40:10,020 --> 00:40:12,730
Ah, the prodigal bum
has returned.
851
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:14,030
How's it going?
852
00:40:14,050 --> 00:40:16,900
Why are you writing numbers?
853
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:18,130
Mmm. My report.
854
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:19,800
Report? What about
the sketch, man?
855
00:40:19,820 --> 00:40:20,400
Your sketch.
856
00:40:20,420 --> 00:40:21,370
Sketch?
857
00:40:21,390 --> 00:40:22,930
Your sketch.
You're next. You're on.
858
00:40:22,950 --> 00:40:24,330
You wanted an account
of the finances.
859
00:40:24,350 --> 00:40:26,430
That's what connelly told me.
860
00:40:26,450 --> 00:40:28,430
Don't point the scinger
of forn at me, benchley.
861
00:40:28,460 --> 00:40:29,430
Dorothy...
862
00:40:29,460 --> 00:40:30,300
If you want to drink,
ruin your life...
863
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:31,270
Share this.
864
00:40:31,290 --> 00:40:33,430
Your friend's in need
of inspiration.
865
00:40:33,450 --> 00:40:36,000
Liquor makes people
behave unlike themselves.
866
00:40:36,020 --> 00:40:37,530
Why would you want people.
867
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:38,900
To behave like themselves?
868
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:40,430
Well, in your case, I...
869
00:40:40,460 --> 00:40:42,090
Ahem.
870
00:40:44,990 --> 00:40:49,570
It's like a train station.
871
00:40:49,590 --> 00:40:50,870
Don't look at me.
872
00:40:50,890 --> 00:40:52,860
In that tone of voice,
Mr. Benchley.
873
00:40:52,890 --> 00:40:54,560
May I see that, please?
874
00:40:54,590 --> 00:40:55,700
Thank you.
875
00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:57,200
Oh, it's my uncle Albert.
876
00:40:57,220 --> 00:40:58,970
That's exactly how he smelled.
877
00:40:58,990 --> 00:40:59,830
What's it taste like?
878
00:40:59,860 --> 00:41:01,740
Like it smells.
879
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:02,960
Now, give it here.
880
00:41:02,980 --> 00:41:04,900
I won't be the cause
of your corruption.
881
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,460
My corruption?
882
00:41:06,490 --> 00:41:07,970
Two minutes, you're on.
883
00:41:07,990 --> 00:41:10,730
Come along and hold me up,
Mrs. Parker.
884
00:41:11,890 --> 00:41:13,390
♪ Never growing up
885
00:41:13,420 --> 00:41:16,160
♪ and we've all been flapping
since belasco was a pup ♪
886
00:41:16,190 --> 00:41:17,700
♪ we got the blues
887
00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:19,000
they've got the blues.
888
00:41:19,020 --> 00:41:20,370
♪ We got the blues...
889
00:41:20,390 --> 00:41:22,360
Too bad Eddie
didn't stick around.
890
00:41:22,390 --> 00:41:26,030
He likes leg and Fanny numbers.
891
00:41:26,050 --> 00:41:28,730
He went back to Hartford?
892
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,830
And it was all going so well.
893
00:41:31,860 --> 00:41:33,490
♪...blues ♪
894
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:36,400
♪ copeland and connelly,
connelly and copeland ♪
895
00:41:36,420 --> 00:41:38,930
♪ the playwrights
of the prairie ♪
896
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,040
Hey, girls, how'd you like
to be in a show?
897
00:41:41,060 --> 00:41:42,330
Yeah! Yeah!
898
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,930
All right, let's go back
to the dressing room.
899
00:41:45,950 --> 00:41:47,200
And, uh, talk.
900
00:41:47,220 --> 00:41:48,400
What's funny is a laugh.
901
00:41:48,420 --> 00:41:50,000
Wrapped inside a fact.
That's funny.
902
00:41:50,020 --> 00:41:51,000
That's funny.
903
00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:52,130
That would be some of.
904
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,100
Our Mrs. Parker's
unprintable verse.
905
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:55,730
Come on. Come on.
906
00:41:55,750 --> 00:41:57,600
You're in a Broadway
theater now.
907
00:41:57,620 --> 00:41:59,500
Behave yourself.
908
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,770
Careful, please!
909
00:42:03,820 --> 00:42:05,860
Oh, careful of the tomatoes.
910
00:42:05,890 --> 00:42:07,570
Wonderful! Wonderful!
911
00:42:07,590 --> 00:42:09,230
New careers for everyone.
912
00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:10,570
Very nice.
913
00:42:15,290 --> 00:42:17,170
It's an obsession
with women's clothing.
914
00:42:17,190 --> 00:42:18,400
Oh, you look wonderful.
915
00:42:18,420 --> 00:42:21,040
Jane, listen,
I can't go to this party.
916
00:42:21,060 --> 00:42:22,590
Please, can we not go?
917
00:42:22,630 --> 00:42:24,360
Get out of my way, Ross.
918
00:42:24,390 --> 00:42:25,700
I'm here with
someone with talent.
919
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:27,230
Oh!
920
00:42:27,260 --> 00:42:31,340
Thank you, Mr. Sherwood
and your lovely companions.
921
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,590
Certainly, "he who gets flapped".
922
00:42:33,620 --> 00:42:37,730
Loses nothing in its translation
from the original Russian.
923
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,070
And now,
924
00:42:39,090 --> 00:42:42,360
it is with a great sense
of mystery that I...
925
00:42:42,390 --> 00:42:44,560
Try to pay attention,
Mrs. Parker.
926
00:42:44,590 --> 00:42:45,800
Don't break a leg.
927
00:42:45,820 --> 00:42:47,000
Mr. Robert benchley...
928
00:42:47,020 --> 00:42:48,000
I'll enter from the trenches.
929
00:42:48,020 --> 00:42:50,230
And his report.
930
00:43:04,490 --> 00:43:06,160
I shall, uh,
931
00:43:06,190 --> 00:43:09,200
take but a very few moments
of your time this evening.
932
00:43:09,220 --> 00:43:10,570
I realize that you'd much rather.
933
00:43:10,590 --> 00:43:15,060
Be listening to
this interesting entertainment.
934
00:43:15,090 --> 00:43:17,400
Than to a dry financial report.
935
00:43:17,420 --> 00:43:19,100
Ahem.
936
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,500
But, uh, I am reminded
of a story.
937
00:43:21,530 --> 00:43:25,100
Which you have probably,
all of you, heard.
938
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,930
Uh, it seems that there were
these two irishmen.
939
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,170
Walking down the street,
940
00:43:30,190 --> 00:43:32,660
but when they came up...
They came to a...
941
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:34,600
Oh, I should have said that
in the first place,
942
00:43:34,620 --> 00:43:40,530
that the store belonging to
the Irish... the first irishman...
943
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:42,590
The first fella's store...
944
00:43:45,750 --> 00:43:47,930
Uh, well, anyway...
945
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:50,400
The, uh, parrot...
946
00:43:54,150 --> 00:43:55,960
Now, in connection
with reading this report,
947
00:43:55,990 --> 00:43:57,530
there are one or two points.
948
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,030
Dr. Murnie wanted brought up
in connection with it,
949
00:44:00,060 --> 00:44:02,830
and he has asked me
to bring them up in...
950
00:44:02,850 --> 00:44:03,850
To bring them up.
951
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:05,760
The first is in regard.
952
00:44:05,790 --> 00:44:07,830
To the work that
we are trying to do.
953
00:44:07,860 --> 00:44:09,970
At our little place
at silver lake...
954
00:44:09,990 --> 00:44:11,270
A work that we feel.
955
00:44:11,290 --> 00:44:12,890
Not only fills
a very definite need.
956
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:14,500
In the community,
957
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:17,800
but also fills
a very definite need...
958
00:44:17,820 --> 00:44:19,400
In the community.
959
00:44:19,420 --> 00:44:20,770
Ahem.
960
00:44:20,790 --> 00:44:22,730
Uh, the... I don't think.
961
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,860
Many of our members
of our society.
962
00:44:25,890 --> 00:44:27,300
Realize just how big the work is.
963
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,000
We're trying to do up there.
964
00:44:29,020 --> 00:44:30,870
For instance,
I don't think it's generally known.
965
00:44:30,890 --> 00:44:32,260
That most of our boys.
966
00:44:32,290 --> 00:44:34,330
Are between the age of 14.
967
00:44:35,590 --> 00:44:39,830
Uh, we feel that by taking
the boy at this age,
968
00:44:39,860 --> 00:44:42,890
we can get closer
to his real nature,
969
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,800
and a boy has
a very real nature,
970
00:44:45,820 --> 00:44:47,970
you may be sure.
971
00:44:47,990 --> 00:44:50,330
Dottie, I'd like you to meet.
972
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:52,930
My new discovery... baby vomit.
973
00:44:52,950 --> 00:44:54,730
Beware, her Lacy sleeve.
974
00:44:54,750 --> 00:44:55,760
Has a bottle of vitriol.
975
00:44:55,790 --> 00:44:57,170
Concealed in its folds.
976
00:44:57,190 --> 00:44:57,930
Get a load of this guy.
977
00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,470
Blows into Tony's.
978
00:44:59,490 --> 00:45:02,160
Like something cut loose
from the Macy's day parade,
979
00:45:02,190 --> 00:45:04,860
brings me here to meet
one of my favorite writers,
980
00:45:04,890 --> 00:45:06,700
forgets my name.
981
00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:08,570
Well, it's Charles. Charlie.
982
00:45:08,590 --> 00:45:10,270
Charlie MacArthur.
983
00:45:10,290 --> 00:45:11,490
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Vomit.
984
00:45:17,990 --> 00:45:21,140
Charlie's new at the American.
985
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:22,690
Very amusing fellow from Chicago.
986
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:24,160
With theatrical ambitions.
987
00:45:24,190 --> 00:45:25,366
I thought I'd
lay him at your feet.
988
00:45:25,390 --> 00:45:26,900
Like the faithful
retriever I am.
989
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:28,370
Bad dog, aleck.
990
00:45:28,390 --> 00:45:31,140
I heard your husband
might be away.
991
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:32,460
Well, his wife's in Chicago.
992
00:45:32,490 --> 00:45:35,630
Do you meddle in all your friends'
sex lives.
993
00:45:35,650 --> 00:45:37,770
Just because they have them?
994
00:45:37,790 --> 00:45:39,230
I knew you'd be pleased.
995
00:45:39,260 --> 00:45:42,730
Now, it seems to me
that the people who criti...
996
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:44,800
Why, criticize, that, uh...
997
00:45:46,620 --> 00:45:48,700
The, uh, the people who...
998
00:45:48,720 --> 00:45:50,430
Why, as a matter of fact,
999
00:45:50,460 --> 00:45:54,700
it was done just as, uh,
economically as...
1000
00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:56,460
As is possible.
1001
00:45:56,490 --> 00:45:58,270
Even more so.
1002
00:46:00,490 --> 00:46:03,330
Mr. Rossiter, uh, unfortunately,
1003
00:46:03,350 --> 00:46:05,730
our treasurer...
1004
00:46:05,750 --> 00:46:07,130
Uh...
1005
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,370
Mr. Rossiter, our treasurer,
1006
00:46:09,390 --> 00:46:13,730
unfortunately is confined
to his home.
1007
00:46:13,750 --> 00:46:16,030
With a bad head cold,
1008
00:46:16,050 --> 00:46:19,230
and, uh, I, uh...
1009
00:46:19,260 --> 00:46:21,240
Excuse me.
1010
00:46:21,260 --> 00:46:22,560
Ahem.
1011
00:46:26,590 --> 00:46:28,900
Oh.
1012
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:30,770
Well...
1013
00:46:30,790 --> 00:46:33,260
The joke seems to be on me.
1014
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:35,360
Mr. Rossiter has pneumonia.
1015
00:46:36,690 --> 00:46:38,500
Who is this guy?
1016
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,400
Robert benchley, life magazine.
1017
00:46:40,420 --> 00:46:43,060
That's benchley,
the drama critic?
1018
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:44,460
Mm-hmm. A Saint.
1019
00:46:44,490 --> 00:46:46,100
A Saint, no less.
1020
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:47,000
Well, it's a good thing.
1021
00:46:47,020 --> 00:46:48,230
He's so goddamn funny.
1022
00:46:48,260 --> 00:46:49,700
Yes, it is.
It's a goddamn good thing.
1023
00:46:49,720 --> 00:46:50,870
Aleck.
1024
00:46:50,890 --> 00:46:52,030
What, Ruth?
1025
00:46:52,060 --> 00:46:53,230
We're next.
1026
00:46:53,250 --> 00:46:54,930
Don't worry. Calm down, Ruth.
1027
00:46:54,950 --> 00:46:57,870
The treasurer's, uh, report.
1028
00:47:06,790 --> 00:47:08,630
He was the best
thing in the show,
1029
00:47:08,660 --> 00:47:10,870
so into my column he goes.
1030
00:47:10,890 --> 00:47:12,430
Robert is a writer,
not an actor.
1031
00:47:12,450 --> 00:47:14,860
Besides, he would never
have time for performing,
1032
00:47:14,890 --> 00:47:18,400
what with myself,
the boys, and his job.
1033
00:47:18,420 --> 00:47:19,800
As it is, he's got to be careful.
1034
00:47:19,820 --> 00:47:21,990
He doesn't work himself
into the ground.
1035
00:47:22,030 --> 00:47:23,560
I've seen it happen
before, gertrude.
1036
00:47:23,580 --> 00:47:25,760
Never underestimate
the power of applause.
1037
00:47:25,790 --> 00:47:29,270
Marc, from one's self
expect applause.
1038
00:47:29,290 --> 00:47:31,270
He noblest lives
and noblest dies...
1039
00:47:31,290 --> 00:47:33,260
Help me. Help me, Mrs. Parker.
1040
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:35,260
Well, Irving Berlin
and Sam Harris...
1041
00:47:35,290 --> 00:47:37,330
Right behind you,
directly behind you...
1042
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,530
Want me
and the treasurer's report.
1043
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:41,460
To be in their next revue.
1044
00:47:41,490 --> 00:47:42,890
Oh, how do you do?
1045
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,700
Uh, ahem.
It seems that, well, I... I... I...
1046
00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:47,230
I... I... I...
1047
00:47:48,490 --> 00:47:50,770
I couldn't justify
a critic like myself being...
1048
00:47:50,790 --> 00:47:52,460
Well, having a paid job
on stage...
1049
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:55,530
But I didn't want to offend them
and say no,
1050
00:47:55,550 --> 00:47:58,770
so I asked for $500,
and I thought they'd just laugh,
1051
00:47:58,790 --> 00:48:00,430
and the next thing I know,
1052
00:48:00,460 --> 00:48:02,490
Harris is gleaming at me
with those...
1053
00:48:02,530 --> 00:48:05,100
And saying, "for $500,
you better be awfully good."
1054
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,200
I'm a bit flustered.
I guess we'll see what happens.
1055
00:48:08,220 --> 00:48:09,830
Congratulations.
I'm Charles MacArthur.
1056
00:48:09,860 --> 00:48:11,760
How do you do?
I'm Robert benchley.
1057
00:48:11,790 --> 00:48:13,060
I'm so sorry.
1058
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:15,560
Excuse me. I have to
tell my wife.
1059
00:48:15,590 --> 00:48:17,000
Excuse me, gertrude.
1060
00:48:17,020 --> 00:48:18,770
Would you like a drink.
1061
00:48:18,790 --> 00:48:20,500
Before kissing me?
1062
00:48:25,750 --> 00:48:27,030
Yes.
1063
00:48:27,060 --> 00:48:29,370
If I don't drive
around the park,
1064
00:48:29,390 --> 00:48:32,260
I'm pretty sure to make my Mark.
1065
00:48:32,290 --> 00:48:36,030
If I'm in bed
each night by 10:00,
1066
00:48:36,050 --> 00:48:40,670
I may get back my looks again.
1067
00:48:40,690 --> 00:48:45,230
If I abstain from fun and such,
1068
00:48:45,250 --> 00:48:49,600
I'll probably amount to much,
1069
00:48:49,620 --> 00:48:54,730
but I shall stay the way I am,
1070
00:48:54,750 --> 00:48:57,730
because I do not give a damn.
1071
00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,730
Tim and I a-hunting went,
1072
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:01,630
spied three women in a tent.
1073
00:49:01,660 --> 00:49:03,260
They being three, we being two,
1074
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:06,700
I bucked one,
and Tim bucked two.
1075
00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:09,430
Oh, here's Bobby's station.
1076
00:49:11,060 --> 00:49:14,060
One man's descent into hell,
1077
00:49:14,090 --> 00:49:15,930
where we're all waiting for you.
1078
00:49:15,950 --> 00:49:16,760
Say hello to my father,
1079
00:49:16,790 --> 00:49:18,030
will you, Rob?
1080
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:20,730
If I can find him.
1081
00:49:25,690 --> 00:49:27,730
This place ought to be closed.
1082
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:29,230
By law.
1083
00:49:29,260 --> 00:49:30,730
Ha ha ha!
1084
00:49:32,060 --> 00:49:33,730
And thank you.
1085
00:49:33,750 --> 00:49:35,760
That's what I thought you'd say.
1086
00:49:35,790 --> 00:49:37,600
Rob, how do you feel?
1087
00:49:37,620 --> 00:49:39,770
How do I feel? I...
1088
00:49:39,790 --> 00:49:43,730
I must say, I...
Feel like an angel.
1089
00:49:43,750 --> 00:49:45,030
Ha ha!
1090
00:49:45,050 --> 00:49:46,400
Some friendly advice, benchley.
1091
00:49:46,420 --> 00:49:48,870
The best way to avoid a hangover.
1092
00:49:48,890 --> 00:49:50,030
Is to stay drunk.
1093
00:49:50,060 --> 00:49:50,870
How does a
sophisticated gentleman.
1094
00:49:50,890 --> 00:49:52,160
Know when he's drunk?
1095
00:49:52,180 --> 00:49:55,460
When he can't pronounce
sophisticated anymore.
1096
00:49:55,490 --> 00:49:56,730
Isn't she adorable?
1097
00:49:56,750 --> 00:49:57,870
She's delirious.
1098
00:49:57,890 --> 00:49:59,800
That's why she's adorable.
1099
00:49:59,820 --> 00:50:02,330
Well, to get back to me,
1100
00:50:02,350 --> 00:50:04,330
I was wondering how
it could have been.
1101
00:50:04,350 --> 00:50:08,570
So awful drinking with Eddie.
1102
00:50:08,590 --> 00:50:10,100
And so much fun.
1103
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:12,890
Drinking with all of you.
1104
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:16,260
Is that a loaded question?
1105
00:50:16,290 --> 00:50:18,000
Because you're married to him.
1106
00:50:18,020 --> 00:50:19,100
Might be more fun.
1107
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:20,800
Sleeping with
somebody else, too.
1108
00:50:20,820 --> 00:50:21,830
Ahem.
1109
00:50:21,860 --> 00:50:23,160
Oh, dear, dear,
1110
00:50:23,180 --> 00:50:26,030
is the, um, subject
in danger of turning to sex?
1111
00:50:26,050 --> 00:50:27,370
No more than usual.
1112
00:50:27,390 --> 00:50:29,330
Because we wouldn't
want Charlie here.
1113
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:31,660
To think that's all
we ever talk about.
1114
00:50:31,690 --> 00:50:33,030
Don't look now, toots,
1115
00:50:33,050 --> 00:50:35,530
but no matter how much
you talk about sex,
1116
00:50:35,550 --> 00:50:38,030
you never know how
the other fellow does it.
1117
00:50:38,060 --> 00:50:40,530
Why would you want to know that?
1118
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:41,860
Well, you would know.
1119
00:50:41,890 --> 00:50:44,300
If you were
an experienced woman,
1120
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:48,100
but of course, it would be
bad manners to tell,
1121
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:49,700
now, wouldn't it?
1122
00:50:54,850 --> 00:50:59,600
Cops are here.
Everybody speak easy.
1123
00:50:59,620 --> 00:51:01,590
Through the kitchen.
1124
00:51:11,490 --> 00:51:13,360
This way.
1125
00:51:14,420 --> 00:51:16,430
All right, everybody.
1126
00:51:16,450 --> 00:51:17,830
Settle down.
1127
00:51:17,860 --> 00:51:20,130
We're going to take
a little ride.
1128
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,160
One at a time. Come on.
1129
00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:24,700
You're coming with us
this evening.
1130
00:51:24,720 --> 00:51:26,560
Nice faces.
1131
00:51:26,590 --> 00:51:28,570
Lovely hats, too.
1132
00:51:29,690 --> 00:51:31,270
Put your drink away!
1133
00:51:31,290 --> 00:51:34,100
Ha ha! This is wonderful!
1134
00:51:35,650 --> 00:51:37,730
Oh, shit! I left
my purse inside.
1135
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:39,730
That's all right.
They'll return it...
1136
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:41,730
Federal good manners
act and all.
1137
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:43,730
Wait here. I excel at this.
1138
00:51:43,750 --> 00:51:45,430
What?
1139
00:51:50,490 --> 00:51:54,330
Press. The American.
Mind if I take a look?
1140
00:51:54,350 --> 00:51:56,830
This fella conks me on the head,
1141
00:51:56,850 --> 00:51:58,530
and thus goes my heart.
1142
00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:00,130
Ah, love conks her all.
1143
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:02,790
He's wild and mad and fleet.
1144
00:52:02,820 --> 00:52:05,030
I may have him mounted.
1145
00:52:05,050 --> 00:52:06,660
Yes, one would assume.
1146
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:23,090
Philip.
1147
00:52:25,620 --> 00:52:26,830
Here we are.
1148
00:52:26,850 --> 00:52:28,170
Taxi.
1149
00:52:28,190 --> 00:52:29,670
I'm engaged.
1150
00:52:29,690 --> 00:52:31,090
He's engaged.
1151
00:52:31,130 --> 00:52:33,230
You are? Then be happy.
Congratulations.
1152
00:52:33,250 --> 00:52:35,200
Lousy new yorker.
Lousy goddamn...
1153
00:52:35,220 --> 00:52:37,270
Gentlemen! Would you
strike this man?
1154
00:52:37,290 --> 00:52:39,730
Want to do something
about it, pip-squeak?
1155
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:41,190
New York will be deprived.
1156
00:52:41,230 --> 00:52:43,330
Of its annual Gilbert
and Sullivan revival,
1157
00:52:43,350 --> 00:52:44,400
I think.
1158
00:52:44,420 --> 00:52:46,300
The hell with him. Let's walk.
1159
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:47,700
Nice meeting you, however.
1160
00:52:47,720 --> 00:52:50,170
I love the rain.
1161
00:52:50,190 --> 00:52:51,930
My place is closest, sister.
1162
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:53,190
Just missed my last train.
1163
00:52:53,220 --> 00:52:54,030
I guess I'm coming, too.
1164
00:52:54,050 --> 00:52:56,230
I'm a late sleeper.
1165
00:52:56,250 --> 00:52:58,030
I'll be sure
to boil my eggs gently.
1166
00:52:58,060 --> 00:52:59,100
And not scrape my toast.
1167
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:00,300
Hello. Excuse me.
1168
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:03,630
Hey, wait, there.
47th and 7th, please.
1169
00:53:03,650 --> 00:53:05,500
Thank you very much.
1170
00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:12,230
Thank you.
1171
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:15,760
Hello.
1172
00:53:15,790 --> 00:53:17,230
Oh.
1173
00:53:19,720 --> 00:53:21,230
Hello.
1174
00:53:23,220 --> 00:53:25,700
Thank you for the robe.
1175
00:53:25,720 --> 00:53:27,230
Cheers.
1176
00:53:29,290 --> 00:53:31,890
My apartment
is shamefully undeveloped.
1177
00:53:31,930 --> 00:53:33,190
Compared to yours.
1178
00:53:33,220 --> 00:53:35,900
Ah, well, a friend helped me.
1179
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:37,270
Fix up the place.
1180
00:53:37,290 --> 00:53:39,730
I should say a few friends.
1181
00:53:42,220 --> 00:53:44,900
Oh, do you enjoy swinburne?
1182
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:48,200
Look... before you start
analyzing my books,
1183
00:53:48,220 --> 00:53:50,900
there's something
I should clear up.
1184
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:53,230
You didn't pick
them out, either.
1185
00:53:54,820 --> 00:53:55,930
I lied when I told you.
1186
00:53:55,950 --> 00:53:59,230
You were one
of my favorite writers.
1187
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,230
And I lied when I smiled.
1188
00:54:10,420 --> 00:54:12,890
It's just that I've read
more about you...
1189
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:15,560
What Dorothy Parker
thinks of this or that...
1190
00:54:15,590 --> 00:54:17,230
Than your actual writing.
1191
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,270
Not counting the fluff,
of course.
1192
00:54:22,580 --> 00:54:24,260
Fluff pays the rent.
1193
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,700
Yeah, but if I were you,
I'd be worried.
1194
00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:30,370
Oh, how dare you?
1195
00:54:30,390 --> 00:54:32,230
How dare you?
1196
00:54:34,420 --> 00:54:35,560
Come.
1197
00:54:35,590 --> 00:54:36,230
What?
1198
00:54:36,250 --> 00:54:37,030
Come here.
1199
00:54:37,060 --> 00:54:38,270
What, I'm supposed to worry.
1200
00:54:38,290 --> 00:54:41,140
Because a self-confessed
liar and sycophant.
1201
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:42,860
Whose place looks like it's been.
1202
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:44,600
Decorated by the junior league.
1203
00:54:44,620 --> 00:54:46,430
Tells me to?
1204
00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:48,730
That's right.
1205
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:50,800
I'm not going in there.
1206
00:54:50,820 --> 00:54:52,890
Why?
1207
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:54,700
Because I've read my share.
1208
00:54:54,720 --> 00:54:56,400
Oh, really?
1209
00:54:56,420 --> 00:54:57,900
Yeah.
1210
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,170
Well, did you know
that I sold a short story.
1211
00:55:00,190 --> 00:55:02,490
That took months to write?
1212
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:03,930
That's, um...
1213
00:55:03,950 --> 00:55:06,830
Fiction, for your information.
1214
00:55:06,850 --> 00:55:09,470
My low brow is not
congenital, dot.
1215
00:55:09,490 --> 00:55:11,040
I saw it.
1216
00:55:11,060 --> 00:55:13,660
About a henpecked husband
living in the suburbs...
1217
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:16,100
Seemed a lot like benchley.
1218
00:55:27,090 --> 00:55:29,030
Now, don't be mad.
1219
00:55:29,060 --> 00:55:30,570
Dream bigger.
1220
00:55:32,250 --> 00:55:33,430
Like you?
1221
00:55:33,450 --> 00:55:35,900
Yeah, like me.
1222
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:38,230
And you're going to
help, I suppose.
1223
00:55:38,260 --> 00:55:40,920
Sure. Whatever you want.
1224
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:42,430
It could be...
1225
00:55:42,450 --> 00:55:44,230
One of the very best.
1226
00:55:44,250 --> 00:55:47,200
I think you'd want to find out.
1227
00:55:48,260 --> 00:55:51,230
This must be some sort
of sophisticated.
1228
00:55:51,260 --> 00:55:55,160
Midwestern farm-boy routine.
1229
00:55:55,190 --> 00:55:56,700
Uh... what's my line?
1230
00:55:56,720 --> 00:55:57,970
You want to hitch up a mule...
1231
00:55:57,990 --> 00:55:59,930
For a little person,
you talk an awful lot.
1232
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:01,590
And plow my fertile fields?
1233
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:32,130
No, but I'm glad
you're by the book.
1234
00:57:35,950 --> 00:57:38,430
I felt we were
pretty good together.
1235
00:57:38,460 --> 00:57:39,700
For the first time.
1236
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:41,760
I guess adultery takes practice.
1237
00:57:45,250 --> 00:57:47,500
Double adultery
cancels itself out.
1238
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,560
Questionable logic,
1239
00:57:51,590 --> 00:57:53,260
but I like the theory.
1240
00:57:55,250 --> 00:57:58,230
What does your wife
think about it?
1241
00:57:58,260 --> 00:58:01,690
Ah... don't worry about her.
1242
00:58:01,730 --> 00:58:03,230
We're clean.
1243
00:58:04,620 --> 00:58:05,860
Mmm.
1244
00:58:05,890 --> 00:58:08,770
How can you wake up
so beautiful?
1245
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:13,930
Oh, Charlie.
1246
00:58:13,950 --> 00:58:17,430
I'm going to wear
my heart on my sleeve.
1247
00:58:17,460 --> 00:58:20,270
Like a wet, red stain.
1248
00:58:42,950 --> 00:58:44,730
A runaway train colliding.
1249
00:58:44,750 --> 00:58:47,930
You knew it was dangerous
when you introduced them.
1250
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:50,430
Cupid is judged on precision,
not perils.
1251
00:58:50,460 --> 00:58:51,930
Don't look now, toots,
1252
00:58:51,950 --> 00:58:54,930
but this is the one
she's been waiting for.
1253
00:58:54,950 --> 00:58:57,270
Oh, it's a little
something for woodrow.
1254
00:59:01,260 --> 00:59:03,190
We're engaged, everybody.
1255
00:59:04,450 --> 00:59:06,260
Dorothy's dog and I.
1256
00:59:08,790 --> 00:59:10,130
Sit.
1257
00:59:11,950 --> 00:59:13,430
Keep it down, everybody.
1258
00:59:15,150 --> 00:59:18,430
The bombs exploding
all around me.
1259
00:59:20,590 --> 00:59:22,360
I was overcome with a...
1260
00:59:22,380 --> 00:59:24,430
A powerful feeling of optimism.
1261
00:59:25,550 --> 00:59:26,700
So I said to myself,
1262
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:30,270
"MacArthur, this is
the lowest point in your life.
1263
00:59:30,290 --> 00:59:32,990
From here on, everything
will be an improvement."
1264
00:59:39,460 --> 00:59:40,770
Get more.
1265
00:59:47,420 --> 00:59:48,970
Queen's bet.
1266
00:59:48,990 --> 00:59:51,060
I don't know how wonderful
they are together.
1267
00:59:51,090 --> 00:59:52,560
They're an ideal couple.
1268
00:59:52,580 --> 00:59:54,860
MacArthur's got a terrific
head on his shoulders.
1269
00:59:54,890 --> 00:59:56,560
Yeah,
and a different one each night.
1270
00:59:56,590 --> 00:59:59,800
I remind you,
there are two sides to mistress Dorothy.
1271
00:59:59,820 --> 01:00:01,930
Offensive and defensive.
1272
01:00:01,950 --> 01:00:03,430
Our founder.
1273
01:00:03,450 --> 01:00:04,260
If a man pursued her,
1274
01:00:04,290 --> 01:00:05,800
she wouldn't be interested.
1275
01:00:05,820 --> 01:00:07,230
Let that man pursue
another woman,
1276
01:00:07,260 --> 01:00:09,330
she'll fall deliriously
in love with him.
1277
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:10,600
With claws flashing
and tears falling.
1278
01:00:10,620 --> 01:00:12,030
She's available,
1279
01:00:12,050 --> 01:00:14,930
but she's the goddamndest
fortress at the same time.
1280
01:00:14,950 --> 01:00:16,960
Yeah, a fortress of cards.
1281
01:00:16,990 --> 01:00:19,030
Our founder.
1282
01:00:19,060 --> 01:00:21,130
She really knows how to suffer.
1283
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,830
The greatest little
runner-downer there ever was.
1284
01:00:23,850 --> 01:00:25,060
Dottie can't be suffering.
1285
01:00:25,090 --> 01:00:28,100
And still say all
those funny things.
1286
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:30,860
♪ There wasn't a soul
to greet me there ♪
1287
01:00:30,890 --> 01:00:33,060
♪ a lone stranger
on your shore ♪
1288
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:35,360
♪ but Irish luck
was with me there ♪
1289
01:00:35,390 --> 01:00:38,930
♪ and wishes came galore ♪
1290
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:40,430
Happy birthday, dottie.
1291
01:00:40,460 --> 01:00:42,060
Happy birthday, dot.
1292
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,730
Don't you think 29's
dangerously ripe, darling?
1293
01:00:44,750 --> 01:00:46,430
Nah.
1294
01:00:46,450 --> 01:00:48,270
Just how I like 'em.
1295
01:00:52,950 --> 01:00:55,200
The tide's out. The table's set.
1296
01:00:55,220 --> 01:00:57,800
Everybody like clams?
1297
01:00:57,820 --> 01:00:58,770
Mmm.
1298
01:00:58,790 --> 01:01:00,300
Come on, Marc.
1299
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:01,560
Can't we just whistle for them?
1300
01:01:01,580 --> 01:01:02,960
They don't have ears.
1301
01:01:02,980 --> 01:01:04,730
Grab that.
1302
01:01:06,450 --> 01:01:07,770
Dottie.
1303
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:10,920
Oh.
1304
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:12,430
Thank god. Nobody saw.
1305
01:01:12,450 --> 01:01:14,230
Oh.
1306
01:01:14,250 --> 01:01:16,230
I can't even get
morning sickness.
1307
01:01:16,250 --> 01:01:17,930
When you're supposed to.
1308
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:19,730
Are you sure?
1309
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:21,230
Dottie.
1310
01:01:21,260 --> 01:01:24,260
Oh, neyso, I wish
the lord I weren't.
1311
01:01:32,750 --> 01:01:37,930
In April,
1312
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:41,230
my one love came along,
1313
01:01:41,260 --> 01:01:45,930
and I ran the slope
of my high hill.
1314
01:01:45,950 --> 01:01:49,230
To follow a thread of song.
1315
01:01:49,260 --> 01:01:53,230
His eyes were hard as porphyry.
1316
01:01:53,250 --> 01:01:56,930
With looking on cruel lands.
1317
01:01:56,950 --> 01:02:00,300
His voice went slipping over me.
1318
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:04,260
Like terrible silver hands.
1319
01:02:05,890 --> 01:02:10,000
In April,
1320
01:02:10,020 --> 01:02:13,930
my love went whistling by,
1321
01:02:13,950 --> 01:02:18,230
and I stumbled here
to my high hill.
1322
01:02:18,260 --> 01:02:21,930
Along the way of a lie.
1323
01:02:21,950 --> 01:02:25,230
Now what should I do
in this place.
1324
01:02:25,250 --> 01:02:28,930
But sit and count the chimes,
1325
01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:33,230
and splash cold water on my face.
1326
01:02:33,250 --> 01:02:37,770
And spoil a page with rhymes?
1327
01:02:59,020 --> 01:03:00,690
Aw. What happened?
1328
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:02,260
Did you fall asleep?
1329
01:03:04,950 --> 01:03:06,730
I went two hours in the theater.
1330
01:03:06,750 --> 01:03:09,230
Imagining you were
dead somewhere.
1331
01:03:09,260 --> 01:03:11,890
Oh, Jesus Christ, dot.
I'm sorry.
1332
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:13,296
Ah, don't be.
It was more entertaining.
1333
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:15,760
Than the play I was watching.
1334
01:03:15,790 --> 01:03:17,270
I'll... I'll just get dressed.
1335
01:03:17,290 --> 01:03:19,930
I gave up on the whole
thing quite early.
1336
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:22,390
And spent most of the
evening on the floor.
1337
01:03:22,420 --> 01:03:23,760
As a member of a
volunteer search party.
1338
01:03:23,780 --> 01:03:25,130
To aid the lady on my left.
1339
01:03:25,150 --> 01:03:27,030
In retrieving a missing rubber.
1340
01:03:27,060 --> 01:03:30,270
Oh, I left my lipstick
here yesterday.
1341
01:03:35,950 --> 01:03:38,930
You know, it must be
just as hard.
1342
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:40,920
To get that look right in life.
1343
01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:42,760
As it is onstage.
1344
01:03:46,950 --> 01:03:48,930
Well, someone has to leave.
1345
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:50,230
If you ask me,
1346
01:03:50,260 --> 01:03:51,330
it ought to be the someone.
1347
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:54,430
Who already has
their clothes on,
1348
01:03:54,450 --> 01:03:56,430
but then...
1349
01:03:56,450 --> 01:03:58,770
You're the writers.
1350
01:04:02,450 --> 01:04:04,260
I'm just an actress.
1351
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:13,230
Dorothy, cut the theatrics.
1352
01:04:13,250 --> 01:04:15,260
We're both still married.
1353
01:04:16,950 --> 01:04:19,930
We're in no position to...
1354
01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:21,930
Look, you know my situation.
1355
01:04:21,950 --> 01:04:25,930
And you know mine
while you're up.
1356
01:04:25,950 --> 01:04:29,770
I said I'd help take care of it,
and I meant it.
1357
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:35,060
Here's your lipstick.
1358
01:04:35,090 --> 01:04:37,270
Does the gangplank
need painting?
1359
01:04:40,460 --> 01:04:41,930
Dorothy...
1360
01:04:41,950 --> 01:04:43,930
You know I adore you,
1361
01:04:43,950 --> 01:04:46,930
but I'm not going to
make any excuses.
1362
01:04:46,950 --> 01:04:48,900
Oh, no. Goodness, no.
1363
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:51,230
It's all my fault.
Really, it is.
1364
01:04:51,260 --> 01:04:53,930
Well, I wish
I didn't have to go,
1365
01:04:53,950 --> 01:04:55,800
and let's hope I
won't be rushing back.
1366
01:04:55,820 --> 01:04:58,570
As fast as my little
legs can carry me.
1367
01:04:58,590 --> 01:04:59,530
I can't tell you.
1368
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:02,290
How much I'll... miss you.
1369
01:05:03,620 --> 01:05:05,130
Just drive, please.
1370
01:05:14,450 --> 01:05:16,060
Where is he?
1371
01:05:16,090 --> 01:05:18,300
Did he telephone?
1372
01:05:19,790 --> 01:05:21,430
Why am I so cold?
1373
01:05:21,450 --> 01:05:22,930
It's the anesthesia.
1374
01:05:22,950 --> 01:05:24,930
We had to give you extra.
1375
01:05:24,950 --> 01:05:26,300
You must have been further along.
1376
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:29,000
Than you told the doctor.
1377
01:05:41,450 --> 01:05:42,930
Your hangover is going.
1378
01:05:42,950 --> 01:05:45,600
Straight to the Smithsonian,
Mrs. Parker.
1379
01:05:45,620 --> 01:05:48,600
Once it kills me and becomes famous,
you mean.
1380
01:05:48,620 --> 01:05:50,100
Jesus. Don't say that.
1381
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:53,760
You know, there's a lesson
for all of us in this.
1382
01:05:53,780 --> 01:05:55,300
What's that, Sherry?
1383
01:05:57,090 --> 01:05:59,230
Well, I don't know.
1384
01:05:59,260 --> 01:06:01,260
Good night, everyone.
1385
01:06:02,950 --> 01:06:05,530
Yes, well,
it's getting to be that time,
1386
01:06:05,550 --> 01:06:06,900
isn't it?
1387
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:08,430
Coming, dot?
1388
01:06:11,090 --> 01:06:13,260
Time does flit.
1389
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:14,760
Oh, shit.
1390
01:06:16,450 --> 01:06:18,070
Good night.
1391
01:06:18,090 --> 01:06:19,730
Damn it. My watch has stopped.
1392
01:06:19,760 --> 01:06:21,290
Oh?
1393
01:06:26,090 --> 01:06:28,300
You wound it too tightly.
1394
01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:33,060
Perhaps it is in need
of lubrication.
1395
01:06:33,080 --> 01:06:34,760
Let's go wild tonight!
1396
01:06:34,790 --> 01:06:36,900
There's plenty of
time to do nothing.
1397
01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:38,930
Once you're dead.
1398
01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:40,590
Please don't use that word.
1399
01:06:40,620 --> 01:06:42,590
What do you say, Mr. Benchley?
1400
01:06:42,620 --> 01:06:44,600
You want to go wild tonight?
1401
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:47,600
Thank you.
1402
01:06:47,620 --> 01:06:48,930
Mr. Benchley.
1403
01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:50,270
Mr. Benchley?
1404
01:06:51,780 --> 01:06:52,730
Fred!
1405
01:06:52,750 --> 01:06:54,130
Hmm?
1406
01:06:54,150 --> 01:06:56,700
Oh, perhaps I should
see you home, Mrs. P.
1407
01:06:56,720 --> 01:06:59,900
We can recite crossing
the bar along the way.
1408
01:06:59,920 --> 01:07:01,390
What do you think?
1409
01:07:01,420 --> 01:07:05,160
I can't sleep worth sour apples.
1410
01:07:05,190 --> 01:07:08,930
I keep seeing these little...
1411
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:11,230
Hands and feet...
1412
01:07:11,260 --> 01:07:13,660
And a head full of curly hair,
1413
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:16,230
just like Charlie's.
1414
01:07:16,250 --> 01:07:18,230
God is standing over me.
1415
01:07:18,260 --> 01:07:21,430
In a doctor's jacket...
1416
01:07:21,450 --> 01:07:25,030
Shaking his long,
rubber-gloved finger.
1417
01:07:25,050 --> 01:07:27,930
That's very phallic.
Don't you think?
1418
01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:31,430
But I... I... can't understand.
1419
01:07:31,450 --> 01:07:33,030
What god is saying.
1420
01:07:33,050 --> 01:07:36,260
Because he's got a
mask over his face.
1421
01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:41,130
Isn't that just like him?
1422
01:07:44,250 --> 01:07:47,270
Oh, you poor, hungry thing.
1423
01:07:52,780 --> 01:07:54,230
All right.
1424
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:57,230
Up we go.
1425
01:07:59,760 --> 01:08:01,260
Ooh.
1426
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:13,930
Look, woodrow.
1427
01:08:13,950 --> 01:08:15,930
It's raining.
1428
01:08:15,950 --> 01:08:18,430
We want the rain...
1429
01:08:18,460 --> 01:08:20,420
The wanton rain.
1430
01:08:20,460 --> 01:08:21,760
Ooh.
1431
01:08:23,950 --> 01:08:26,930
Oh, you're simply all...
1432
01:08:26,950 --> 01:08:29,130
Worn-out, aren't you?
1433
01:08:31,780 --> 01:08:33,930
Just...
1434
01:08:33,950 --> 01:08:36,600
Hungry and worn-out.
1435
01:08:37,990 --> 01:08:40,170
Well...
1436
01:08:40,190 --> 01:08:43,260
We don't want
to have a breakdown.
1437
01:08:44,790 --> 01:08:46,760
Got to keep you healthy.
1438
01:08:46,790 --> 01:08:48,130
Hmm?
1439
01:08:49,520 --> 01:08:51,430
There you are.
1440
01:08:51,450 --> 01:08:53,260
Mmm.
1441
01:08:59,020 --> 01:09:00,270
There you go, darling.
1442
01:09:02,020 --> 01:09:04,600
A nice dinner for you.
1443
01:09:18,260 --> 01:09:20,920
Oh, hello, Johnny.
It's Mrs. Parker.
1444
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:23,930
Yes, I'll be needing you
to deliver up some dinner.
1445
01:09:23,950 --> 01:09:25,760
Before theater tonight, dear.
1446
01:09:27,260 --> 01:09:29,230
Oh, whatever's the special...
1447
01:09:29,260 --> 01:09:31,430
And a large pot of coffee.
1448
01:09:31,450 --> 01:09:33,130
Thank you.
1449
01:09:38,460 --> 01:09:40,720
Oh.
1450
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:42,260
All right.
1451
01:09:59,260 --> 01:10:02,260
Tragedies don't
kill us, woodrow.
1452
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:05,160
Messes kill us.
1453
01:10:05,190 --> 01:10:08,270
I can't stand messes.
1454
01:10:09,790 --> 01:10:12,530
Oh, where's the fucking aspirin?
1455
01:10:58,620 --> 01:11:00,890
The sun's gone dim,
1456
01:11:00,910 --> 01:11:04,400
and the moon's turned black,
1457
01:11:04,420 --> 01:11:08,200
for I loved him,
and he didn't love back.
1458
01:11:17,420 --> 01:11:20,090
You were a mess lying there...
1459
01:11:22,620 --> 01:11:23,730
Bleeding and drooling.
1460
01:11:27,920 --> 01:11:30,590
You were pathetic...
1461
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:31,730
And disgusting.
1462
01:11:33,920 --> 01:11:35,900
Is that all?
1463
01:11:35,920 --> 01:11:37,730
I only know 15 adjectives.
1464
01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:44,900
You don't have to tie double knots,
Mr. Benchley.
1465
01:11:44,920 --> 01:11:47,730
These are not
your son's Oxfords.
1466
01:11:53,750 --> 01:11:55,730
Do you still love me, Fred?
1467
01:11:55,750 --> 01:11:57,930
Of course I do, Mrs. Parker.
1468
01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:00,590
But you think I'm a kill-joy.
1469
01:12:03,580 --> 01:12:05,330
No, I don't,
1470
01:12:05,350 --> 01:12:08,030
but if you don't eat
more solid foods.
1471
01:12:08,060 --> 01:12:09,270
And stay away from razor blades,
1472
01:12:09,290 --> 01:12:11,460
you could arouse
that suspicion in others.
1473
01:12:13,920 --> 01:12:15,030
I hear mice.
1474
01:12:15,050 --> 01:12:16,730
Shall I discourage them?
1475
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:20,720
Do I look... all right?
1476
01:12:24,920 --> 01:12:26,800
Now you do.
1477
01:12:26,820 --> 01:12:28,270
Come in.
1478
01:12:42,750 --> 01:12:43,890
Well...
1479
01:12:43,920 --> 01:12:46,400
Aside from f.P.A.,
who withers easily,
1480
01:12:46,420 --> 01:12:48,900
it seems as though
all your friends.
1481
01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:50,420
Are here, Mrs. Parker.
1482
01:12:51,920 --> 01:12:53,890
Yes...
1483
01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:55,730
And Paula, too.
1484
01:13:00,120 --> 01:13:02,090
It must be rough now
that benchley and Charlie.
1485
01:13:02,120 --> 01:13:04,900
Are such good friends, huh?
1486
01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:06,760
It's not so bad.
1487
01:13:06,790 --> 01:13:09,100
I just let him ignore me.
1488
01:13:11,920 --> 01:13:13,560
You know, people still think.
1489
01:13:13,580 --> 01:13:16,060
He's banging me every night,
1490
01:13:16,090 --> 01:13:18,600
and sometimes I wish
to god he were.
1491
01:13:20,090 --> 01:13:22,090
But only sometimes.
1492
01:13:23,950 --> 01:13:27,000
You know, he sent me
$30 for the operation.
1493
01:13:28,760 --> 01:13:30,760
Judas making a refund.
1494
01:13:55,650 --> 01:13:59,070
Oh, for Christ's sake.
1495
01:14:06,920 --> 01:14:08,600
There you are.
1496
01:14:08,620 --> 01:14:10,590
Fred, how long do you think.
1497
01:14:10,620 --> 01:14:11,790
We can keep this thing up?
1498
01:14:11,820 --> 01:14:12,860
Keep what up?
1499
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:14,330
You performing six nights a week.
1500
01:14:14,350 --> 01:14:16,630
And me covering first acts.
1501
01:14:16,650 --> 01:14:18,070
We need the money, Mrs. Parker.
1502
01:14:18,090 --> 01:14:21,730
You only need enough money
to keep body and soul apart.
1503
01:14:21,750 --> 01:14:25,330
Shh. Remember, Mrs. Parker,
1504
01:14:25,350 --> 01:14:27,570
speak easy.
1505
01:14:27,590 --> 01:14:29,070
Open up.
1506
01:14:29,090 --> 01:14:31,060
This is a raid.
1507
01:14:35,390 --> 01:14:37,570
Oh, god.
1508
01:14:40,790 --> 01:14:42,060
Please, Mrs. Parker.
1509
01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:44,100
You're running a fever, Fred.
1510
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:45,960
People will think I
beat you in private.
1511
01:14:45,990 --> 01:14:47,230
You're running it ragged.
1512
01:14:47,260 --> 01:14:48,930
Probably how I managed
to get so much done.
1513
01:14:48,960 --> 01:14:50,790
And still look so dissipated.
1514
01:14:50,810 --> 01:14:52,630
I'll bet you haven't
eaten a thing all day.
1515
01:14:52,650 --> 01:14:55,200
Au contraire.
I found a little French place,
1516
01:14:55,220 --> 01:14:56,400
completely without charm.
1517
01:14:56,420 --> 01:14:58,800
One brown and one clear, please.
1518
01:14:58,820 --> 01:15:04,100
Oh, for crying out loud, Fred.
1519
01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:05,600
The last thing you need is that.
1520
01:15:05,620 --> 01:15:06,600
What?
1521
01:15:06,620 --> 01:15:07,770
What? What about your family?
1522
01:15:07,790 --> 01:15:08,930
Who?
1523
01:15:08,960 --> 01:15:09,990
I forbid you.
1524
01:15:10,020 --> 01:15:11,260
May I remind you, Mrs. P.,
1525
01:15:11,280 --> 01:15:15,060
that I'm not a fictional
creation of hers.
1526
01:15:15,090 --> 01:15:18,330
What could you possibly say
to a thing like that?
1527
01:15:18,360 --> 01:15:20,590
"Did you go to the circus
this year?"
1528
01:15:20,620 --> 01:15:22,060
Oh, no, no. Better.
1529
01:15:22,080 --> 01:15:23,530
"When do your tonsils come out?"
1530
01:15:23,550 --> 01:15:25,830
How about
"your regal presence at the bar.
1531
01:15:25,850 --> 01:15:28,570
Has inspired my soul
to an upheaval"?
1532
01:15:28,590 --> 01:15:30,396
Hmm? That's the source of
all great literature...
1533
01:15:30,420 --> 01:15:32,430
An upheaved soul.
1534
01:15:35,890 --> 01:15:38,570
I, uh... have a question to ask.
1535
01:15:38,590 --> 01:15:40,290
Mm-hmm.
1536
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:42,090
A serious one.
1537
01:15:46,590 --> 01:15:48,100
Anything.
1538
01:15:50,060 --> 01:15:54,260
Why do you think...
1539
01:15:54,290 --> 01:15:56,560
That we...
1540
01:15:56,590 --> 01:15:58,270
Yes?
1541
01:15:58,290 --> 01:15:59,820
You and I...
1542
01:15:59,860 --> 01:16:02,090
That would be "we," yeah.
1543
01:16:03,480 --> 01:16:05,760
Have never misbehaved?
1544
01:16:10,260 --> 01:16:12,460
I'm referring
to what we don't do.
1545
01:16:12,480 --> 01:16:14,630
In spite of everything.
1546
01:16:14,650 --> 01:16:17,100
What we don't do, hmm.
1547
01:16:21,780 --> 01:16:23,590
Mrs. Parker, really.
1548
01:16:26,590 --> 01:16:28,570
Tell me.
1549
01:16:28,590 --> 01:16:30,090
Now.
1550
01:16:32,580 --> 01:16:34,260
Well... ahem.
1551
01:16:34,290 --> 01:16:36,760
I suppose we respect
each other too much.
1552
01:16:36,790 --> 01:16:39,270
Ah. We don't respect anyone.
1553
01:16:39,290 --> 01:16:41,590
Well, Mrs. Parker,
suppose it didn't work.
1554
01:16:43,080 --> 01:16:44,600
Suppose it did.
1555
01:16:48,690 --> 01:16:49,990
No. No, no.
1556
01:16:50,020 --> 01:16:50,920
It's a lot easier
to take disappointment.
1557
01:16:50,950 --> 01:16:51,930
When you're young.
1558
01:16:51,950 --> 01:16:53,590
Or dumb or don't expect much,
1559
01:16:53,620 --> 01:16:56,160
but we're old and smart.
1560
01:16:56,190 --> 01:16:58,270
Don't bat those
ingenue eyes at me.
1561
01:16:58,290 --> 01:17:00,560
You know what I'm talking about.
1562
01:17:00,580 --> 01:17:01,796
That's the trouble.
You know entirely too much.
1563
01:17:01,820 --> 01:17:04,460
Oh, gee, and I was thinking
1564
01:17:04,490 --> 01:17:06,300
I must not know enough,
1565
01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:08,030
because the things I want most
1566
01:17:08,060 --> 01:17:10,190
I can't seem to get.
1567
01:17:10,220 --> 01:17:13,090
That's because you've
forgotten how to have fun.
1568
01:17:14,990 --> 01:17:17,200
Oh, really?
1569
01:17:17,220 --> 01:17:18,600
Fun?
1570
01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:24,100
I'll show you some fun.
1571
01:17:25,150 --> 01:17:25,860
What are you doing?
1572
01:17:25,890 --> 01:17:27,170
Yes, you.
1573
01:17:27,190 --> 01:17:28,670
What are you doing?
1574
01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:34,760
You looked in need
of rescue, dear.
1575
01:17:34,790 --> 01:17:36,260
What's your name?
1576
01:17:36,290 --> 01:17:37,430
Joanie.
1577
01:17:37,460 --> 01:17:38,930
Sit down, joanie.
1578
01:17:38,960 --> 01:17:40,590
Joanie Gerard.
1579
01:17:40,610 --> 01:17:42,260
How do you do? I'm Robert.
1580
01:17:42,280 --> 01:17:44,760
Are you an actress,
joanie Gerard?
1581
01:17:44,790 --> 01:17:46,760
I'm a western union girl.
1582
01:17:46,790 --> 01:17:48,270
Yeah. Oh.
1583
01:17:48,290 --> 01:17:50,760
But I want to be an actress.
1584
01:17:50,790 --> 01:17:53,460
Oh, you dear, brave soul.
1585
01:17:53,480 --> 01:17:54,960
You're in luck.
1586
01:17:54,990 --> 01:17:57,270
Freddy is a talent scout,
aren't you, Fred?
1587
01:17:57,290 --> 01:17:58,770
Really?
1588
01:17:58,790 --> 01:18:00,760
Oh, well, after a fashion.
1589
01:18:00,790 --> 01:18:03,090
And this is Mrs. Parker,
1590
01:18:03,120 --> 01:18:05,400
my good friend
and favorite living writer.
1591
01:18:05,420 --> 01:18:06,760
But not much fun.
1592
01:18:06,790 --> 01:18:08,770
You're a real, living writer?
1593
01:18:08,790 --> 01:18:10,460
Currently on leave.
1594
01:18:11,850 --> 01:18:13,060
Jeez, I feel like
1595
01:18:13,080 --> 01:18:16,660
I ought to drop a
curtsy or something.
1596
01:18:16,690 --> 01:18:19,560
Her curtsy, your pants,
my teeth.
1597
01:18:19,590 --> 01:18:21,590
Ha ha! All right.
1598
01:18:21,620 --> 01:18:23,560
So... what do you say?
1599
01:18:23,580 --> 01:18:24,930
Shall we go wild tonight?
1600
01:18:24,950 --> 01:18:26,900
Yeah, Fred. What do you say?
1601
01:18:26,920 --> 01:18:28,770
You want to go wild?
1602
01:18:28,790 --> 01:18:30,190
I could outline
several opera plots
1603
01:18:30,220 --> 01:18:32,190
I've been working on.
1604
01:18:32,220 --> 01:18:33,190
Oh!
1605
01:18:33,220 --> 01:18:35,460
Oh, forget him, dear.
1606
01:18:35,490 --> 01:18:37,270
I've just been released.
1607
01:18:37,290 --> 01:18:39,470
From our lady of malpractice,
1608
01:18:39,490 --> 01:18:41,760
and I want to go wild.
1609
01:18:41,780 --> 01:18:44,430
How do I learn how?
1610
01:18:44,450 --> 01:18:46,400
Aah! Aah!
1611
01:18:55,620 --> 01:18:57,770
Uh! Uh!
1612
01:18:57,790 --> 01:19:00,490
Oh! Oh!
1613
01:19:01,580 --> 01:19:03,430
Uh! Uh!
1614
01:19:03,450 --> 01:19:05,600
Artists... that's why
we invite them.
1615
01:19:07,390 --> 01:19:08,570
Ha ha!
1616
01:19:08,590 --> 01:19:10,190
Bravo, George.
1617
01:19:10,220 --> 01:19:11,260
Bravo!
1618
01:19:11,280 --> 01:19:13,530
Mind us, you cretins!
1619
01:19:14,490 --> 01:19:16,760
Well played!
1620
01:19:16,790 --> 01:19:18,270
That wasn't very sporting.
1621
01:19:18,290 --> 01:19:19,770
Well...
1622
01:19:19,790 --> 01:19:21,760
Do we have a game?
1623
01:19:21,780 --> 01:19:23,260
I'll sing an opera.
1624
01:19:23,280 --> 01:19:25,260
You gentlemen see
if you can name it.
1625
01:19:25,290 --> 01:19:26,760
All right.
1626
01:19:26,790 --> 01:19:28,300
Here we go.
1627
01:19:35,790 --> 01:19:38,770
I would say that is,
uh... Joe green.
1628
01:19:38,790 --> 01:19:40,390
Yes. It's definitely Joe green.
1629
01:19:40,410 --> 01:19:42,530
Giuseppe verdi.
1630
01:19:42,550 --> 01:19:43,960
Don't look now, toots,
1631
01:19:43,980 --> 01:19:46,060
but unmarried Yale barristers
have been spotted.
1632
01:19:46,090 --> 01:19:48,770
Cavorting on the south lawn.
1633
01:19:48,790 --> 01:19:52,260
Oh, a girl can get splinters.
1634
01:19:52,280 --> 01:19:54,830
Sliding down a barrister.
1635
01:19:54,850 --> 01:19:56,400
What else?
1636
01:19:56,420 --> 01:19:59,070
What about our athletic friend
down there?
1637
01:19:59,090 --> 01:20:01,590
He's built like a horse.
1638
01:20:01,620 --> 01:20:03,960
Always so optimistic.
1639
01:20:03,980 --> 01:20:06,760
Well,
he keeps waving his mallet in my direction.
1640
01:20:06,790 --> 01:20:08,570
It must mean something.
1641
01:20:08,590 --> 01:20:10,260
What are you doing?
1642
01:20:10,290 --> 01:20:12,260
This isn't Polo, you cretin.
1643
01:20:12,280 --> 01:20:14,400
Descend from your perch,
my little mourning dove,
1644
01:20:14,420 --> 01:20:17,700
and show this neomalthusian
how it's done.
1645
01:20:19,220 --> 01:20:21,960
Mind if I join you?
1646
01:20:21,980 --> 01:20:25,560
You must be picking
wallflowers, Scott.
1647
01:20:25,590 --> 01:20:27,100
Well, Sherry,
I read your latest short story...
1648
01:20:27,120 --> 01:20:28,470
"Extra, extra."
1649
01:20:28,490 --> 01:20:31,730
It was as fine a bit of
writing I've ever read...
1650
01:20:31,750 --> 01:20:35,760
Short, lean, acid, so good.
1651
01:20:35,790 --> 01:20:38,370
This is a magazine of the city.
1652
01:20:38,390 --> 01:20:39,400
A smart magazine.
1653
01:20:39,420 --> 01:20:42,730
And not for the little
old lady in dubuque.
1654
01:20:42,750 --> 01:20:43,760
You have a title?
1655
01:20:43,780 --> 01:20:46,230
♪ Ba ba ba ba-da
1656
01:20:46,250 --> 01:20:48,500
♪ ba ba ba ba-da
ba ba-da ba ba-da ♪
1657
01:20:48,520 --> 01:20:49,230
What's in a name?
1658
01:20:49,260 --> 01:20:51,630
A name is simply a name.
1659
01:20:51,650 --> 01:20:53,760
It's who you know, darling.
1660
01:20:53,780 --> 01:20:54,900
It's who you know.
1661
01:20:54,920 --> 01:20:56,130
Most of our friends.
1662
01:20:56,150 --> 01:20:57,500
Will be contributing.
1663
01:20:57,520 --> 01:20:59,100
Dorothy Parker, for one.
1664
01:20:59,120 --> 01:20:59,920
George Kaufman.
1665
01:20:59,960 --> 01:21:00,690
F.p.a.
1666
01:21:00,710 --> 01:21:01,830
Bob benchley.
1667
01:21:01,850 --> 01:21:06,260
They're all devoted to the idea.
1668
01:21:06,290 --> 01:21:08,070
So, we're...
1669
01:21:08,090 --> 01:21:09,030
George, come here!
1670
01:21:09,060 --> 01:21:11,590
Is he through that wicket?
1671
01:21:11,620 --> 01:21:13,290
Wicket's crooked, Marc.
1672
01:21:13,320 --> 01:21:14,260
Ha!
1673
01:21:14,290 --> 01:21:15,560
You cheat.
1674
01:21:15,590 --> 01:21:16,830
Whose ball is this?
1675
01:21:16,850 --> 01:21:17,700
That's edna's.
1676
01:21:17,720 --> 01:21:20,620
Oh, for god's sake!
1677
01:21:20,660 --> 01:21:22,760
What do you want to do, huh?
1678
01:21:22,780 --> 01:21:24,700
I've always wanted
to write a novel.
1679
01:21:24,720 --> 01:21:25,430
Or a play.
1680
01:21:25,450 --> 01:21:26,460
How old are you?
1681
01:21:26,490 --> 01:21:28,170
28.
1682
01:21:28,190 --> 01:21:29,490
Don't let the time pass.
1683
01:21:29,520 --> 01:21:31,960
If you want to write something,
you write it.
1684
01:21:31,980 --> 01:21:34,860
Don't turn 40 wishing you had.
1685
01:21:34,890 --> 01:21:36,760
Aah!
1686
01:21:36,790 --> 01:21:38,170
Why is Harpo the only one of us.
1687
01:21:38,190 --> 01:21:41,630
Who enjoys performing
like a seal?
1688
01:21:41,650 --> 01:21:43,790
Please don't answer that.
1689
01:21:43,820 --> 01:21:44,900
It's a magazine for a man.
1690
01:21:44,920 --> 01:21:47,300
Who knows his way
around the city.
1691
01:21:47,320 --> 01:21:49,920
Yes. A man not unlike myself.
1692
01:21:49,960 --> 01:21:51,460
What's this magazine
about, Ross...
1693
01:21:51,480 --> 01:21:53,690
Shipping news?
1694
01:21:53,720 --> 01:21:55,630
It's a magazine about New York.
1695
01:21:55,650 --> 01:21:56,430
For people with manners.
1696
01:21:56,450 --> 01:21:57,270
Yeah. M-manners.
1697
01:21:57,290 --> 01:22:01,760
Well, if it's about New York,
1698
01:22:01,780 --> 01:22:04,060
why not call it the new yorker?
1699
01:22:04,090 --> 01:22:05,730
Now, that's brilliant.
1700
01:22:07,960 --> 01:22:10,390
Hello.
1701
01:22:10,410 --> 01:22:12,760
I hope you like
to gamble, Dorothy,
1702
01:22:12,780 --> 01:22:14,160
because I just made a bet.
1703
01:22:14,190 --> 01:22:16,760
That I can make you smile.
1704
01:22:16,790 --> 01:22:19,760
Oh, I hate to see
anyone lose money.
1705
01:22:19,790 --> 01:22:21,760
It's so hard to find.
1706
01:22:21,780 --> 01:22:23,030
Don't go away.
1707
01:22:23,050 --> 01:22:26,630
I must eat something
before I pass out.
1708
01:22:29,890 --> 01:22:31,890
Attention, everyone.
1709
01:22:31,920 --> 01:22:33,590
Maybe Dorothy would consent.
1710
01:22:33,620 --> 01:22:37,970
To recite one of her
little things for us.
1711
01:22:37,990 --> 01:22:41,190
Well, maybe I'll just
digest my little supper.
1712
01:22:41,220 --> 01:22:43,130
And sing for it later.
1713
01:22:43,150 --> 01:22:44,300
Oh, please, Dorothy.
1714
01:22:44,320 --> 01:22:47,800
Something bilious for dessert.
1715
01:22:47,820 --> 01:22:49,100
No. Something bubbly,
Mrs. Parker.
1716
01:22:49,120 --> 01:22:50,860
Something bubbly bilious.
1717
01:22:50,880 --> 01:22:52,530
Double bubbly,
but don't bill us.
1718
01:22:52,550 --> 01:22:53,060
Ha ha ha ha!
1719
01:22:53,080 --> 01:22:54,060
One more drink,
1720
01:22:54,090 --> 01:22:55,760
and I'll be under the host.
1721
01:22:55,790 --> 01:22:57,530
Oh, please, Mrs. Parker.
1722
01:22:57,560 --> 01:22:58,970
Do honor us.
1723
01:22:58,990 --> 01:23:01,290
With one of your
darling little poems.
1724
01:23:03,450 --> 01:23:05,630
Resume.
1725
01:23:05,650 --> 01:23:07,930
Razors pain you.
1726
01:23:07,960 --> 01:23:10,620
Rivers are damp.
1727
01:23:10,650 --> 01:23:12,690
Acids stain you,
1728
01:23:12,720 --> 01:23:14,930
and drugs cause cramp.
1729
01:23:14,950 --> 01:23:17,400
Guns aren't lawful.
1730
01:23:17,420 --> 01:23:19,530
Nooses give.
1731
01:23:19,560 --> 01:23:23,560
Gas smells awful.
1732
01:23:23,580 --> 01:23:25,030
You might as well live.
1733
01:23:31,850 --> 01:23:33,160
Another cheerful poem.
1734
01:23:33,180 --> 01:23:37,900
Bravo!
1735
01:23:39,820 --> 01:23:41,290
What a fascinating woman.
1736
01:23:41,320 --> 01:23:43,360
Nice going.
1737
01:23:49,360 --> 01:23:50,660
Dorothy!
1738
01:23:58,190 --> 01:24:01,260
So,
is it true that you live in a rathole?
1739
01:24:01,280 --> 01:24:02,960
Oh, I like my apartment.
1740
01:24:02,980 --> 01:24:05,630
It's just big enough
to lay my hat.
1741
01:24:05,650 --> 01:24:08,030
And a few friends.
1742
01:24:09,490 --> 01:24:12,530
Did you know my family's
in bird sanctuaries?
1743
01:24:12,550 --> 01:24:13,960
It's true.
1744
01:24:13,980 --> 01:24:15,460
Rather interesting.
1745
01:24:15,490 --> 01:24:18,800
Let's say I buy
a peacock for $5.00,
1746
01:24:18,820 --> 01:24:20,460
throw it up in a tree,
1747
01:24:20,480 --> 01:24:24,230
and then charge, oh,
any Tom, dick, and Harry
1748
01:24:24,250 --> 01:24:25,500
$2.00 apiece just to...
1749
01:25:10,310 --> 01:25:13,960
Oh, don't worry, uh... Roger.
1750
01:25:13,980 --> 01:25:16,000
I don't review rehearsals.
1751
01:25:17,990 --> 01:25:19,990
Oh, god.
1752
01:26:25,490 --> 01:26:29,000
Her mind lives in a quiet room,
1753
01:26:29,020 --> 01:26:32,460
a narrow room, and tall,
1754
01:26:32,480 --> 01:26:36,960
with pretty lamps
to quench the gloom.
1755
01:26:36,990 --> 01:26:40,120
And mottoes on the wall.
1756
01:26:40,160 --> 01:26:43,960
There all the things
are wax and neat.
1757
01:26:43,980 --> 01:26:47,330
And set in decorous lines,
1758
01:26:47,360 --> 01:26:52,990
and there are posies,
round and sweet,
1759
01:26:53,020 --> 01:26:56,900
and little, straightened vines.
1760
01:26:56,920 --> 01:27:00,820
Her mind lives tidily,
apart from cold.
1761
01:27:00,850 --> 01:27:02,890
And noise.
1762
01:27:02,920 --> 01:27:05,500
And pain,
1763
01:27:05,520 --> 01:27:10,060
and bolts the door
against her heart,
1764
01:27:10,080 --> 01:27:12,960
out wailing in the rain.
1765
01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:16,960
I think I was born
to live in a hotel.
1766
01:27:16,990 --> 01:27:18,200
It helps me concentrate.
1767
01:27:18,220 --> 01:27:19,660
Knowing I can
just sign for things.
1768
01:27:19,690 --> 01:27:21,160
Whenever I need them.
1769
01:27:21,180 --> 01:27:22,660
Yes, it's wonderful.
1770
01:27:22,680 --> 01:27:25,630
But, of course,
the bill always comes through.
1771
01:27:25,650 --> 01:27:27,070
At the end of the month.
1772
01:27:27,090 --> 01:27:29,790
I trust that won't be a problem.
1773
01:27:29,820 --> 01:27:31,630
Scout's honor.
1774
01:27:31,650 --> 01:27:35,800
Well,
I think this hotel's always been very lucky.
1775
01:27:35,820 --> 01:27:36,460
For writers, Mrs. Parker.
1776
01:27:36,490 --> 01:27:38,170
For example,
1777
01:27:38,190 --> 01:27:41,690
do you have any idea how
many important plays.
1778
01:27:41,720 --> 01:27:42,960
Have been written here?
1779
01:27:42,980 --> 01:27:44,960
Well, well. How fortunate.
1780
01:27:44,990 --> 01:27:46,960
I'm working on a play.
1781
01:27:46,990 --> 01:27:48,570
And if you're right,
1782
01:27:48,590 --> 01:27:49,590
we won't have to worry.
1783
01:27:49,620 --> 01:27:52,390
About the rent, now, will we?
1784
01:27:52,420 --> 01:27:54,960
I wouldn't go away
from you for anything!
1785
01:27:54,990 --> 01:27:56,166
There's nothing in the world...
1786
01:27:56,190 --> 01:27:58,470
No, no. Stop, please.
You mustn't move.
1787
01:27:58,490 --> 01:28:00,860
Stop! Stop!
1788
01:28:00,880 --> 01:28:01,930
You mustn't move on his speech!
1789
01:28:01,950 --> 01:28:03,660
Oh, my! I can't work like this!
1790
01:28:03,680 --> 01:28:04,960
Dorothy, don't you think.
1791
01:28:04,990 --> 01:28:06,300
She ought to be
wearing a brassiere?
1792
01:28:06,320 --> 01:28:07,670
Oh, god, no.
1793
01:28:07,690 --> 01:28:11,230
We've got to have something
in this show that moves.
1794
01:28:16,320 --> 01:28:17,800
Good afternoon, Mr. Benchley.
1795
01:28:17,820 --> 01:28:18,960
Hello.
1796
01:28:18,990 --> 01:28:20,220
Loved the play.
1797
01:28:20,250 --> 01:28:22,960
Let's hope it's a big
financial success!
1798
01:28:22,980 --> 01:28:26,160
I owe him three
months on the rent.
1799
01:28:26,190 --> 01:28:28,470
Well, at least you got
fantastic reviews.
1800
01:28:28,490 --> 01:28:31,330
Yes. And some were even
from total strangers.
1801
01:28:31,350 --> 01:28:34,660
Ha ha ha!
1802
01:28:34,690 --> 01:28:36,660
Oh, I suppose it was dull,
1803
01:28:36,690 --> 01:28:39,460
and you all have my apologies.
1804
01:28:39,490 --> 01:28:41,960
But how can you know
about your own?
1805
01:28:41,980 --> 01:28:43,460
You can't.
1806
01:28:43,480 --> 01:28:45,960
I want to know
who decided to open it.
1807
01:28:45,990 --> 01:28:47,130
Two days before Christmas.
1808
01:28:47,160 --> 01:28:49,220
I hear your Mr. Benchley.
1809
01:28:49,260 --> 01:28:52,290
Has taken up residence
at Polly adler's brothel.
1810
01:28:52,320 --> 01:28:53,590
Well, that is, of course,
1811
01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:56,230
when he's not
with that little show girl.
1812
01:28:56,250 --> 01:28:58,230
Maybe it wouldn't hurt
to work that in.
1813
01:28:58,260 --> 01:29:00,890
The play's about benchley
anyway, isn't it, dot?
1814
01:29:00,910 --> 01:29:02,730
Look on the bright side,
Dorothy.
1815
01:29:02,750 --> 01:29:03,890
Bobby.
1816
01:29:03,920 --> 01:29:05,130
Hello, broun.
1817
01:29:05,150 --> 01:29:06,160
My place has got your name.
1818
01:29:06,190 --> 01:29:07,530
Written all over it.
1819
01:29:07,560 --> 01:29:10,790
Thank you, Don. Thank you.
1820
01:29:10,810 --> 01:29:12,630
Miss hunt, how do you do?
1821
01:29:12,650 --> 01:29:14,660
Miss ferber.
1822
01:29:19,490 --> 01:29:20,890
Well, when they laughed
at the mandolin duet,
1823
01:29:20,910 --> 01:29:23,360
I wanted to bash
their skulls in.
1824
01:29:23,380 --> 01:29:25,960
Could have used a French horn.
1825
01:29:25,990 --> 01:29:28,000
I think it's more
of a magnificent tragedy.
1826
01:29:28,020 --> 01:29:30,060
Than it is a comedy.
1827
01:29:30,080 --> 01:29:32,430
It's a wonderful play,
and that's final.
1828
01:29:32,450 --> 01:29:34,530
I'm afraid so.
1829
01:29:34,550 --> 01:29:37,670
We did a cool $90 at
yesterday's matinee.
1830
01:29:37,690 --> 01:29:38,736
Philip's closing it next week.
1831
01:29:38,760 --> 01:29:40,090
What?
1832
01:29:40,110 --> 01:29:42,390
Mr. Woollcott,
we really have to clear the room.
1833
01:29:42,420 --> 01:29:44,100
To prepare for
the dinner service.
1834
01:29:44,120 --> 01:29:45,500
Clear the room?
1835
01:29:45,520 --> 01:29:46,530
Obviously has no taste.
1836
01:29:46,550 --> 01:29:47,470
You imbecile!
1837
01:29:47,490 --> 01:29:49,460
Do I look like
a piece of furniture?
1838
01:29:49,490 --> 01:29:51,960
Well, actually,
an entire showroom.
1839
01:29:51,980 --> 01:29:53,460
On a good day.
1840
01:29:53,480 --> 01:29:56,600
Ha! Let's go up
to my room, everybody.
1841
01:29:56,620 --> 01:29:58,070
You coming, Fred?
1842
01:29:58,090 --> 01:30:01,130
I think I'll catch up
with you later.
1843
01:30:02,750 --> 01:30:05,160
At Polly's?
1844
01:30:05,190 --> 01:30:07,830
Why don't we say
at Tony's, Mrs. Parker?
1845
01:30:07,860 --> 01:30:09,860
Thank you, sir.
1846
01:30:09,890 --> 01:30:11,260
Please, Mr. Benchley.
1847
01:30:11,280 --> 01:30:13,290
I've never been to a whorehouse.
1848
01:30:13,320 --> 01:30:14,600
Mrs. Parker...
1849
01:30:14,620 --> 01:30:16,460
It's not unlike the theater.
1850
01:30:16,490 --> 01:30:17,900
In many ways.
1851
01:30:17,920 --> 01:30:19,460
Satisfied?
1852
01:30:20,780 --> 01:30:23,460
No. Ha ha!
1853
01:30:23,480 --> 01:30:25,130
Never, I suppose.
1854
01:30:35,120 --> 01:30:37,300
"For Polly. Long may she wave.
1855
01:30:37,320 --> 01:30:39,420
Al Tennyson."
1856
01:30:39,460 --> 01:30:40,920
Yeah, Mr. Benchley.
1857
01:30:40,950 --> 01:30:42,230
Oh, that's very good.
1858
01:30:42,250 --> 01:30:45,800
I prefer a real whorehouse.
1859
01:30:45,820 --> 01:30:47,430
To the theater.
1860
01:30:47,460 --> 01:30:48,600
Oh, yes.
1861
01:30:48,620 --> 01:30:50,190
If a girl can't sing here,
1862
01:30:50,210 --> 01:30:51,090
she has the good
manners to fake it.
1863
01:30:51,120 --> 01:30:52,230
What's the going rate?
1864
01:30:52,250 --> 01:30:54,530
I like the looks
of that one there.
1865
01:30:54,550 --> 01:30:55,530
She's a guest.
1866
01:30:55,550 --> 01:30:56,760
Well, so am I.
1867
01:30:56,790 --> 01:30:58,070
Oh, Bobby,
1868
01:30:58,090 --> 01:30:59,366
are you going to read
to me again tonight?
1869
01:30:59,390 --> 01:31:01,990
Oh, another county heard from.
1870
01:31:02,020 --> 01:31:05,430
Um, I'd like you
to meet my good friend,
1871
01:31:05,450 --> 01:31:07,030
Mrs... Mrs. Parker.
1872
01:31:07,620 --> 01:31:08,570
Mrs. Parker...
1873
01:31:08,590 --> 01:31:09,560
Is she all right?
1874
01:31:09,590 --> 01:31:11,760
I think she should lie down.
1875
01:31:11,780 --> 01:31:13,090
Here we are.
1876
01:31:13,120 --> 01:31:15,460
Yes, I think I hit my... ass.
1877
01:31:15,490 --> 01:31:17,970
Take her to
the lavender room, coco.
1878
01:31:17,990 --> 01:31:19,460
Yes, miss adler.
1879
01:31:19,490 --> 01:31:21,190
Oh... I'm so sorry.
1880
01:31:21,220 --> 01:31:22,160
It's right this way.
1881
01:31:22,180 --> 01:31:23,560
I'll go up with her.
1882
01:31:23,580 --> 01:31:27,400
I had medical training
in the army, you know.
1883
01:31:29,810 --> 01:31:32,960
Suspicions confirmed, Fred.
1884
01:31:32,980 --> 01:31:36,300
I am a drunken whore.
1885
01:31:36,320 --> 01:31:38,270
You're an artist, Mrs. Parker.
1886
01:31:38,290 --> 01:31:40,760
Sometimes artists
lose their balance.
1887
01:31:40,780 --> 01:31:42,460
Ah...
1888
01:31:42,480 --> 01:31:45,460
I'm little Dorothy with the
curse of the rothschilds.
1889
01:31:45,490 --> 01:31:47,270
Hanging over her head.
1890
01:31:47,290 --> 01:31:49,460
You're the artist, Mr. Benchley.
1891
01:31:49,490 --> 01:31:50,490
No, no. Not me.
1892
01:31:50,510 --> 01:31:51,460
Don't lay that on me.
1893
01:31:51,480 --> 01:31:53,590
I've discovered
I have no real talent.
1894
01:31:53,620 --> 01:31:55,230
For writing.
1895
01:31:55,250 --> 01:31:58,770
I can't quit
because I'm too famous.
1896
01:31:58,790 --> 01:32:00,320
All right?
1897
01:32:01,820 --> 01:32:03,890
Here we are.
1898
01:32:03,920 --> 01:32:06,800
You lean down here.
1899
01:32:06,820 --> 01:32:08,990
I want to check
your temperature.
1900
01:32:43,750 --> 01:32:46,930
You need some rest, Mrs. Parker.
1901
01:32:46,950 --> 01:32:48,470
Mr. Benchley...
1902
01:32:50,810 --> 01:32:52,730
Yes, Mrs. Parker.
1903
01:32:52,750 --> 01:32:55,000
Oh! Ha ha!
1904
01:33:09,490 --> 01:33:10,760
Oh...
1905
01:33:10,780 --> 01:33:12,290
Christ.
1906
01:33:14,490 --> 01:33:16,300
Oh...
1907
01:33:18,160 --> 01:33:21,290
Goddamn it, thurber.
1908
01:33:21,320 --> 01:33:22,160
Is Ross in?
1909
01:33:22,180 --> 01:33:23,660
Yes, but he's engaged right now.
1910
01:33:23,680 --> 01:33:24,700
You'll have to take a seat.
1911
01:33:24,720 --> 01:33:25,730
Excuse me, miss!
1912
01:33:25,750 --> 01:33:26,830
Do it over again!
1913
01:33:26,850 --> 01:33:28,270
Thurber's crazy.
You talk to him.
1914
01:33:28,290 --> 01:33:30,260
Finally!
I've been wondering what happened to you.
1915
01:33:30,280 --> 01:33:31,590
Do you have the article?
1916
01:33:31,620 --> 01:33:33,090
This was due on the third.
1917
01:33:33,120 --> 01:33:36,230
Somebody was using the pencil.
1918
01:33:36,250 --> 01:33:37,230
You look terrible, dottie.
1919
01:33:37,260 --> 01:33:39,590
Have you not been sleeping?
1920
01:33:39,610 --> 01:33:40,790
Woodrow Wilson died.
1921
01:33:40,810 --> 01:33:42,360
Yes. I heard.
1922
01:33:42,380 --> 01:33:43,560
About a year ago.
1923
01:33:43,580 --> 01:33:44,560
Last week.
1924
01:33:44,590 --> 01:33:45,830
You have me there.
1925
01:33:45,850 --> 01:33:48,400
This is not a charitable donation,
Ross.
1926
01:33:48,420 --> 01:33:49,860
I'm fighting them off
at the hotel,
1927
01:33:49,890 --> 01:33:51,030
and my bank account
is so overdrawn,
1928
01:33:51,050 --> 01:33:52,760
it's positively photographic.
1929
01:33:52,780 --> 01:33:54,630
You'll be paid eventually.
I promise.
1930
01:33:54,650 --> 01:33:57,130
Don't believe him, dottie.
He owes me for years.
1931
01:33:57,160 --> 01:33:58,900
Jane, for Christ's sake, please.
1932
01:33:58,920 --> 01:34:01,060
Dottie, really,
this is just wonderful.
1933
01:34:01,080 --> 01:34:01,990
Herbert Spencer once said,
1934
01:34:02,020 --> 01:34:03,060
"a genius can do readily.
1935
01:34:03,080 --> 01:34:04,266
What nobody else can do at all,".
1936
01:34:04,290 --> 01:34:06,130
And that's what I'm doing.
1937
01:34:06,150 --> 01:34:08,900
Dottie,
I can't read this right now.
1938
01:34:08,920 --> 01:34:10,460
What a thing to be doing
at my age,
1939
01:34:10,480 --> 01:34:11,960
sitting around making up stories.
1940
01:34:11,980 --> 01:34:13,290
About broken-hearted sissies.
1941
01:34:13,320 --> 01:34:17,170
Dottie, where are you going?
1942
01:34:34,750 --> 01:34:36,260
Mrs. Parker.
1943
01:34:38,090 --> 01:34:41,090
I just wanted to see
if you still answered to that.
1944
01:34:46,250 --> 01:34:48,720
We are still married,
aren't we, Eddie?
1945
01:34:48,760 --> 01:34:50,220
I guess so.
1946
01:34:50,250 --> 01:34:53,890
I guess we ought to talk about
getting a divorce, then.
1947
01:34:53,920 --> 01:34:55,230
Not today.
1948
01:34:55,250 --> 01:34:56,730
I'm feeling too good.
1949
01:34:56,750 --> 01:34:57,670
Oh, is it catching?
1950
01:34:57,690 --> 01:34:59,560
Sure. Why not?
1951
01:35:01,580 --> 01:35:03,430
You look swell, Eddie.
1952
01:35:03,450 --> 01:35:04,730
Do I, really?
1953
01:35:04,750 --> 01:35:06,230
Truly.
1954
01:35:06,250 --> 01:35:07,730
Thanks.
1955
01:35:07,760 --> 01:35:09,220
You look beautiful.
1956
01:35:09,260 --> 01:35:11,260
Oh, where the hell
are you looking?
1957
01:35:11,280 --> 01:35:12,460
At you.
1958
01:35:12,480 --> 01:35:14,630
No. I'm...
1959
01:35:14,650 --> 01:35:17,730
Lower than worms.
1960
01:35:17,760 --> 01:35:20,720
I miss feeling safe, Eddie.
1961
01:35:20,750 --> 01:35:22,730
I do miss that.
1962
01:35:22,750 --> 01:35:24,730
Is that what we were?
1963
01:35:24,750 --> 01:35:26,560
You could have fooled me.
1964
01:35:28,760 --> 01:35:31,560
You're not going
to cry, are you?
1965
01:35:34,750 --> 01:35:36,400
Woodrow died.
1966
01:35:36,420 --> 01:35:37,730
Did he? I'm sorry.
1967
01:35:37,760 --> 01:35:41,230
I'm all alone again and broke.
1968
01:35:41,250 --> 01:35:42,730
See?
1969
01:35:42,750 --> 01:35:44,230
I'm flush.
1970
01:35:44,250 --> 01:35:46,560
Let me buy you a present.
1971
01:35:52,620 --> 01:35:53,990
Now you can buy me lunch.
1972
01:35:54,020 --> 01:35:57,270
If you promise
not to be very dull.
1973
01:35:58,660 --> 01:36:00,720
I'd love to, dear, but I can't.
1974
01:36:00,750 --> 01:36:04,160
I'm meeting someone,
and I'm late.
1975
01:36:04,190 --> 01:36:06,060
Another time, though. I insist.
1976
01:36:06,090 --> 01:36:09,720
Actually,
I'm meeting someone, too.
1977
01:36:09,760 --> 01:36:12,260
It's really been
lovely seeing you.
1978
01:36:17,420 --> 01:36:19,620
Dear...
1979
01:36:19,660 --> 01:36:21,260
Oh.
1980
01:36:23,180 --> 01:36:27,100
I do not like my state of mind.
1981
01:36:27,120 --> 01:36:33,030
I'm bitter, querulous, unkind.
1982
01:36:33,050 --> 01:36:37,900
I hate my legs, I hate my hands,
1983
01:36:37,920 --> 01:36:42,230
I do not yearn
for lovelier lands.
1984
01:36:42,250 --> 01:36:45,200
I dread
the dawn's recurrent light.
1985
01:36:45,220 --> 01:36:48,170
I hate to go to bed at night.
1986
01:36:48,190 --> 01:36:52,860
I snoot at earnest, simple folk.
1987
01:36:52,880 --> 01:36:57,000
I cannot take the gentlest joke.
1988
01:36:57,020 --> 01:37:00,990
I find no peace
in paint or type.
1989
01:37:01,020 --> 01:37:03,360
My world is but a lot of tripe.
1990
01:37:03,380 --> 01:37:07,030
I'm disillusioned,
empty-breasted.
1991
01:37:07,060 --> 01:37:11,530
For what I think,
I'd be arrested.
1992
01:37:11,550 --> 01:37:13,730
I am not sick,
1993
01:37:13,750 --> 01:37:16,400
I am not well.
1994
01:37:16,420 --> 01:37:20,160
My quondam dreams
are shot to hell.
1995
01:37:20,180 --> 01:37:23,460
My soul is crushed,
1996
01:37:23,480 --> 01:37:26,660
my spirit sore.
1997
01:37:26,690 --> 01:37:30,890
I do not like me anymore.
1998
01:37:30,910 --> 01:37:35,730
I cavil, quarrel,
grumble, grouse.
1999
01:37:35,750 --> 01:37:39,220
I ponder on the narrow house.
2000
01:37:39,260 --> 01:37:44,700
I shudder
at the thought of men...
2001
01:37:47,460 --> 01:37:50,360
I'm due to fall in love again.
2002
01:37:52,280 --> 01:37:55,360
Well, I'll mention it
to her again, Mr. Case,
2003
01:37:55,390 --> 01:37:58,230
but there really isn't
that much I can do.
2004
01:37:58,260 --> 01:38:00,090
It's a very difficult situation.
2005
01:38:02,280 --> 01:38:03,590
Dottie?
2006
01:38:05,920 --> 01:38:07,900
I'd like to talk to you.
2007
01:38:07,920 --> 01:38:09,420
Cheese it, the fuzz.
2008
01:38:09,450 --> 01:38:12,760
Mrs. Parker.
2009
01:38:12,780 --> 01:38:14,630
I don't know how
he's going to feel.
2010
01:38:14,650 --> 01:38:17,570
About an untrained puppy
piddling on his rugs.
2011
01:38:17,590 --> 01:38:18,490
He didn't like it much.
2012
01:38:18,520 --> 01:38:20,560
When the trained one did.
2013
01:38:20,580 --> 01:38:21,660
Plus, I have to write him.
2014
01:38:21,680 --> 01:38:23,790
Another I.O.U. For the rent.
2015
01:38:23,820 --> 01:38:25,730
Well, they wouldn't
throw you out.
2016
01:38:25,750 --> 01:38:28,070
You're good
for too much publicity.
2017
01:38:28,090 --> 01:38:29,520
How was lunch?
2018
01:38:29,550 --> 01:38:30,890
Did they talk about me?
2019
01:38:30,910 --> 01:38:32,890
Of course they talked about you.
2020
01:38:32,920 --> 01:38:35,060
Rex...
2021
01:38:35,090 --> 01:38:37,270
Learn to read, darling.
2022
01:38:39,780 --> 01:38:43,760
It's time to think
about serious work.
2023
01:38:45,790 --> 01:38:47,600
Thinking is working, isn't it?
2024
01:38:47,620 --> 01:38:48,990
Well, of course it is.
2025
01:38:49,020 --> 01:38:50,860
It's the kind that I do best.
2026
01:38:50,880 --> 01:38:53,060
Why don't you write
a novel, dear?
2027
01:38:53,080 --> 01:38:54,230
You could probably knock one off.
2028
01:38:54,250 --> 01:38:55,730
In, say, 20 or 30 years.
2029
01:38:55,750 --> 01:38:58,890
Oh, yes. Why not a novel?
2030
01:38:58,920 --> 01:39:01,760
I put as much work
into writing nonsense.
2031
01:39:01,780 --> 01:39:03,360
As I do the things that matter,
2032
01:39:03,380 --> 01:39:05,860
and it's the nonsense
everybody notices.
2033
01:39:05,890 --> 01:39:08,070
And you know what?
2034
01:39:08,090 --> 01:39:10,190
By the time I'm paid
for what I do,
2035
01:39:10,210 --> 01:39:13,260
the money's already gone.
2036
01:39:13,280 --> 01:39:17,270
But you can dream
on a book, can't you?
2037
01:39:17,290 --> 01:39:18,590
Absolutely.
2038
01:39:20,910 --> 01:39:23,130
Have we ever touched?
2039
01:39:37,760 --> 01:39:39,590
Hello, Mrs. Parker.
2040
01:40:05,290 --> 01:40:06,760
Mmm.
2041
01:40:13,720 --> 01:40:17,770
Do you think we should
drink this one, too, hmm?
2042
01:40:17,790 --> 01:40:19,560
How about to us?
2043
01:40:19,580 --> 01:40:23,760
Yes, it's too bad
we don't look prettier.
2044
01:40:23,780 --> 01:40:25,860
We were pretty once,
though, weren't we?
2045
01:40:25,890 --> 01:40:27,970
Hmm?
2046
01:40:27,990 --> 01:40:30,560
You might not think it matters,
2047
01:40:30,580 --> 01:40:32,760
but I do.
2048
01:40:32,780 --> 01:40:34,400
I'll tell you why.
2049
01:40:34,420 --> 01:40:38,760
Because, my dear,
it all turns on that.
2050
01:40:38,790 --> 01:40:41,560
All those little sags and...
2051
01:40:43,050 --> 01:40:43,890
What is going on here?
2052
01:40:43,920 --> 01:40:45,130
Yes, it's London zoo.
2053
01:40:45,150 --> 01:40:46,730
Listen. I've had enough.
2054
01:40:46,750 --> 01:40:48,000
I really have.
2055
01:40:48,020 --> 01:40:49,490
Is that this woman's dog?
2056
01:40:49,510 --> 01:40:51,330
We've had these interruptions
on this set...
2057
01:40:51,350 --> 01:40:52,660
I did it.
2058
01:40:54,020 --> 01:40:54,960
Nicotine, nicotine pip-squeak.
2059
01:40:54,990 --> 01:40:56,130
Listen, Sergei.
2060
01:40:56,150 --> 01:40:57,370
This is not
the steppes of Russia.
2061
01:40:57,390 --> 01:41:00,320
This is
the United States of America.
2062
01:41:06,390 --> 01:41:09,020
So Zanuck says give him
a death scene.
2063
01:41:09,060 --> 01:41:10,620
That'll win an Oscar.
2064
01:41:10,650 --> 01:41:12,830
This guy couldn't play dead
if you cremated him.
2065
01:41:12,850 --> 01:41:13,990
Move over.
2066
01:41:14,020 --> 01:41:15,830
What's wrong, dottie?
2067
01:41:15,850 --> 01:41:17,500
I never worked
on a picture that I liked,
2068
01:41:17,520 --> 01:41:21,030
and I never worked on a picture
that liked me.
2069
01:41:21,050 --> 01:41:22,190
Dottie, I need a line.
2070
01:41:22,220 --> 01:41:23,830
There's a guy
standing on a ledge,
2071
01:41:23,850 --> 01:41:25,430
and his wife's
got to say something.
2072
01:41:25,450 --> 01:41:27,600
No. Let her push
the son of a bitch.
2073
01:41:27,620 --> 01:41:28,690
Without speaking.
2074
01:41:28,720 --> 01:41:30,020
Over!
2075
01:41:30,050 --> 01:41:31,930
Hey, dottie.
Saw Alan on the lot this morning.
2076
01:41:31,950 --> 01:41:33,530
Standing right beside wardrobe.
2077
01:41:33,550 --> 01:41:36,260
Wearing a dress, no doubt.
2078
01:41:36,290 --> 01:41:37,500
Hi, Harry.
2079
01:41:37,520 --> 01:41:38,690
Harry.
2080
01:41:38,720 --> 01:41:39,760
You guys hear
about Bob benchley?
2081
01:41:39,780 --> 01:41:40,420
No.
2082
01:41:40,450 --> 01:41:41,330
Hi, dottie.
2083
01:41:41,350 --> 01:41:43,030
Hey, listen, Harry.
I need a line.
2084
01:41:43,050 --> 01:41:44,530
Forget about that.
2085
01:41:44,550 --> 01:41:46,030
Harry, what about benchley?
2086
01:41:46,050 --> 01:41:47,400
He, uh, he died.
2087
01:41:48,920 --> 01:41:51,730
You're kidding.
2088
01:41:51,750 --> 01:41:53,990
How?
2089
01:41:54,020 --> 01:41:56,860
Cirrhosis of the liver,
hemorrhaging.
2090
01:41:56,890 --> 01:41:58,000
They say Marc connelly.
2091
01:41:58,020 --> 01:41:59,860
Ran around the stork club.
2092
01:41:59,880 --> 01:42:01,360
Looking for blood donors.
2093
01:42:01,380 --> 01:42:02,860
God, benchley.
2094
01:42:02,880 --> 01:42:05,660
I talked to him just
before I left town.
2095
01:42:05,690 --> 01:42:07,170
Dottie...
2096
01:42:07,190 --> 01:42:09,190
Oh, that's just dandy.
2097
01:42:13,880 --> 01:42:15,860
Well, if it isn't
Mr. Dorothy Parker.
2098
01:42:15,890 --> 01:42:17,170
Hello, dottie.
2099
01:42:17,190 --> 01:42:19,160
Thought I might as well.
2100
01:42:19,180 --> 01:42:21,460
Get my things out of your way.
2101
01:42:21,480 --> 01:42:22,830
What's in here?
This is mine, you shit!
2102
01:42:22,850 --> 01:42:24,160
You queer!
2103
01:42:24,190 --> 01:42:25,830
You can't use that anymore,
and you know it.
2104
01:42:25,850 --> 01:42:28,890
Oh, surely not because of your
wartime adventures in London.
2105
01:42:28,920 --> 01:42:30,560
Everybody knows
it's a lie, dottie,
2106
01:42:30,580 --> 01:42:31,790
and so do you.
2107
01:42:31,820 --> 01:42:32,996
Just because you
fucked another woman.
2108
01:42:33,020 --> 01:42:35,430
Doesn't make it all better.
2109
01:42:35,450 --> 01:42:36,900
Good-bye, darling.
2110
01:42:36,920 --> 01:42:38,220
Oh, that's right.
2111
01:42:38,260 --> 01:42:41,230
Take your toys and gallop away,
sidesaddle!
2112
01:42:41,250 --> 01:42:44,030
And don't forget to bore a
hole in the hobby-horse,
2113
01:42:44,050 --> 01:42:46,230
you fucking idiot!
2114
01:43:09,260 --> 01:43:14,330
Oh, Fred.
2115
01:43:14,350 --> 01:43:17,330
Dear Fred.
2116
01:43:17,360 --> 01:43:22,130
You lovely, wonderful shit.
2117
01:44:19,610 --> 01:44:21,860
Department of mass hysteria
and indecision.
2118
01:44:21,880 --> 01:44:24,430
The new year you ordered
is due shortly.
2119
01:44:24,450 --> 01:44:27,070
And may be picked up
at the will-call desk.
2120
01:44:27,090 --> 01:44:28,860
Where have you been all evening?
2121
01:44:28,890 --> 01:44:30,090
Hello, Charlie!
2122
01:44:30,110 --> 01:44:32,030
Anyone seen my noisemakers?
2123
01:44:32,050 --> 01:44:33,360
You are a noisemaker!
2124
01:44:33,380 --> 01:44:35,100
Where are my damn noisemakers?
2125
01:44:35,120 --> 01:44:37,370
I think she likes you better.
2126
01:44:37,390 --> 01:44:40,960
Yes. Meow, too.
2127
01:44:40,980 --> 01:44:43,790
James, my stomach hurts.
2128
01:44:43,820 --> 01:44:47,100
I like champagne,
but it doesn't like me.
2129
01:44:47,120 --> 01:44:48,296
Oh, you're just being
modest, Mary.
2130
01:44:48,320 --> 01:44:51,260
Ha ha ha!
2131
01:44:51,280 --> 01:44:52,760
Are you nauseous, dear?
2132
01:44:52,780 --> 01:44:53,590
My stomach.
2133
01:44:53,620 --> 01:44:54,800
Your stomach.
2134
01:44:54,820 --> 01:44:57,300
Well, pardon my pussy.
2135
01:44:57,320 --> 01:45:00,060
Everywhere I draw breath
is a social hall!
2136
01:45:00,080 --> 01:45:01,690
Then go breathe somewhere else!
2137
01:45:01,720 --> 01:45:04,530
I'm sure Jane means...
2138
01:45:04,550 --> 01:45:05,700
Aleck!
2139
01:45:05,720 --> 01:45:07,670
If you were a true
gentleman, aleck,
2140
01:45:07,690 --> 01:45:08,760
you'd pinch my ass!
2141
01:45:08,790 --> 01:45:10,890
Aleck, what the hell?
2142
01:45:10,910 --> 01:45:11,990
Calm down, please.
2143
01:45:12,020 --> 01:45:15,060
Will you please
calm down, aleck?
2144
01:45:17,220 --> 01:45:20,220
Didn't I give you a dollar?
2145
01:45:24,420 --> 01:45:26,900
You know, Charlie,
2146
01:45:26,920 --> 01:45:30,890
I actually made-believe
we'd be married someday.
2147
01:45:30,910 --> 01:45:33,190
I even decided what to wear.
2148
01:45:33,220 --> 01:45:35,900
Ah, Jesus Christ, dot.
2149
01:45:35,920 --> 01:45:40,190
A rather pinkish gray
with butterfly orchids.
2150
01:45:40,210 --> 01:45:41,990
Your passion for unhappiness.
2151
01:45:42,020 --> 01:45:45,200
Is goddamn endless.
2152
01:45:45,220 --> 01:45:47,830
But you're fine, aren't you?
2153
01:45:47,860 --> 01:45:49,720
You're all well.
2154
01:45:51,920 --> 01:45:53,330
Just wish you wouldn't
sentimentalize.
2155
01:45:53,350 --> 01:45:55,700
All the time.
2156
01:45:55,720 --> 01:46:02,230
And I wish I never learned
to take off my clothes.
2157
01:46:17,920 --> 01:46:19,690
Happy new year, Charlie.
2158
01:46:19,710 --> 01:46:21,230
Dottie.
2159
01:46:22,920 --> 01:46:26,060
Happy new year, John Peter.
2160
01:46:26,090 --> 01:46:29,560
Harpo, you'll appreciate this.
2161
01:46:29,580 --> 01:46:33,690
The wisdom tooth...
A comedy in three acts.
2162
01:46:33,720 --> 01:46:35,730
Act one...
2163
01:46:35,750 --> 01:46:36,830
Ha ha ha!
2164
01:46:36,850 --> 01:46:38,760
Scene one.
2165
01:46:38,790 --> 01:46:40,090
It gets better.
2166
01:46:40,110 --> 01:46:41,730
"A men's washroom.
2167
01:46:41,750 --> 01:46:45,730
Four washbasins are against the wall,
running diagonally."
2168
01:46:48,810 --> 01:46:50,390
Why would I ruin the night?
2169
01:46:50,410 --> 01:46:51,890
Oh, here.
2170
01:46:51,920 --> 01:46:53,190
Here. One of your friends.
2171
01:46:53,220 --> 01:46:54,800
Why don't you tell her
about the fact.
2172
01:46:54,820 --> 01:46:56,360
That you want to leave.
2173
01:46:56,390 --> 01:46:59,390
Too late, Mary.
2174
01:46:59,410 --> 01:47:00,260
Hmm?
2175
01:47:00,280 --> 01:47:01,190
Oh!
2176
01:47:01,220 --> 01:47:03,030
Did he swallow a nut?
2177
01:47:03,050 --> 01:47:04,630
Have you been drinking, Ross?
2178
01:47:04,650 --> 01:47:05,930
Heavily.
2179
01:47:05,950 --> 01:47:08,360
Don't, for a minute,
think I'm not incoherent.
2180
01:47:08,390 --> 01:47:10,390
I would never not think that.
2181
01:47:10,410 --> 01:47:11,490
There you two are.
2182
01:47:11,520 --> 01:47:13,390
I've been toothing this
comb with a fine...
2183
01:47:13,420 --> 01:47:15,830
Put us back together,
Dr. Benchley.
2184
01:47:15,850 --> 01:47:17,570
We're broken into little bits.
2185
01:47:17,590 --> 01:47:18,960
What seems to be the problem?
2186
01:47:18,980 --> 01:47:20,126
You, sir, appear pained enough.
2187
01:47:20,150 --> 01:47:22,860
To have appeared in my column.
2188
01:47:22,880 --> 01:47:26,160
I suppose I should say something
amusing about leaving life,
2189
01:47:26,190 --> 01:47:29,860
but I'm afraid I don't find
any of this amusing anymore.
2190
01:47:29,880 --> 01:47:31,760
What is everybody staring at?
2191
01:47:31,780 --> 01:47:33,960
That's rude of me.
2192
01:47:33,980 --> 01:47:35,460
Mr. Benchley.
2193
01:47:35,490 --> 01:47:36,600
Mr. Sherwood.
2194
01:47:36,620 --> 01:47:38,060
Mrs. Parker.
2195
01:47:46,720 --> 01:47:49,290
Where are you going, Robert?
2196
01:47:52,780 --> 01:47:56,160
Couldn't have stood another
moment of him looking at me,
2197
01:47:56,190 --> 01:47:58,760
thinking of what a public
clown I turned out to be.
2198
01:47:58,790 --> 01:48:00,260
Oh, Fred.
2199
01:48:00,280 --> 01:48:03,260
That's not what
he was thinking at all.
2200
01:48:03,280 --> 01:48:05,100
Hello.
2201
01:48:08,790 --> 01:48:10,460
Bobby.
2202
01:48:10,480 --> 01:48:11,990
Mademoiselle Gerard!
2203
01:48:12,020 --> 01:48:14,260
How did it go?
2204
01:48:14,290 --> 01:48:16,260
Great.
2205
01:48:16,290 --> 01:48:19,460
Isn't he just the bee's knees,
dottie?
2206
01:48:19,480 --> 01:48:20,760
Did you miss me?
2207
01:48:20,780 --> 01:48:22,760
Does the sun miss the stars?
2208
01:48:22,780 --> 01:48:24,760
Did Jackson miss-issippi?
2209
01:48:24,790 --> 01:48:26,100
Cain miss Abel?
2210
01:48:26,120 --> 01:48:28,760
What do you say
we go wild tonight?
2211
01:48:28,790 --> 01:48:30,460
If you insist.
2212
01:48:30,480 --> 01:48:32,460
Little miss muffet?
2213
01:48:32,480 --> 01:48:34,660
Christmas cheer?
2214
01:48:34,690 --> 01:48:36,760
I try to worry, Mrs. Parker,
2215
01:48:36,790 --> 01:48:38,720
but I can't.
2216
01:48:38,760 --> 01:48:40,760
Isn't anybody happy?
2217
01:48:40,780 --> 01:48:43,330
I feel sick to my stomach.
2218
01:48:44,990 --> 01:48:48,320
Tolstoy? I always found
Tolstoy rather dreary!
2219
01:48:48,360 --> 01:48:49,490
Poor alvan.
2220
01:48:49,510 --> 01:48:51,360
You're right.
Tolstoy isn't very cheerful.
2221
01:48:51,380 --> 01:48:52,230
And sentimental!
2222
01:48:52,250 --> 01:48:53,730
Nor sentimental,
for that matter.
2223
01:48:53,750 --> 01:48:55,260
What's he written?
2224
01:48:55,290 --> 01:48:57,270
He's a doctor,
a psychotherapist.
2225
01:48:57,290 --> 01:48:59,290
A good one, too, actually.
2226
01:48:59,310 --> 01:49:02,760
Because of his understanding
of how pure sorrow.
2227
01:49:02,780 --> 01:49:05,630
Is no more possible
than pure joy.
2228
01:49:05,650 --> 01:49:08,260
That's hardly reasonable!
2229
01:49:08,290 --> 01:49:10,260
Your friends don't care.
2230
01:49:10,280 --> 01:49:12,590
For the Russians, I'm afraid.
2231
01:49:12,620 --> 01:49:14,260
Come on, doctor.
2232
01:49:14,290 --> 01:49:17,270
Let's talk about
my sorrow and joy.
2233
01:49:17,290 --> 01:49:20,260
You don't mind, do you, Paula?
2234
01:49:20,280 --> 01:49:21,760
Why, no.
2235
01:49:21,780 --> 01:49:23,760
Well, at least I asked.
2236
01:49:23,780 --> 01:49:26,260
I'm a-Freud of that man.
2237
01:49:28,290 --> 01:49:30,560
Someone pay attention to me!
2238
01:49:38,290 --> 01:49:43,530
My great fear is being
a bitter old woman.
2239
01:49:43,550 --> 01:49:45,260
Alone in her room,
2240
01:49:45,290 --> 01:49:47,900
who, despite
all requests for rain,
2241
01:49:47,920 --> 01:49:52,260
will meet her maker
on a bright, sunny day.
2242
01:49:53,980 --> 01:49:56,760
I don't know if this is
a terrible tragedy.
2243
01:49:56,790 --> 01:49:58,590
Or a big fucking joke.
2244
01:50:05,490 --> 01:50:07,100
Would you like a nut?
2245
01:50:07,120 --> 01:50:08,020
Could you just close the door.
2246
01:50:08,060 --> 01:50:11,290
On your way out, please?
2247
01:50:13,780 --> 01:50:15,830
Oh, sit here.
2248
01:50:15,850 --> 01:50:17,590
Please.
2249
01:50:23,620 --> 01:50:25,300
Happy new year, harp.
2250
01:50:37,760 --> 01:50:41,290
Well... what are you
waiting for?
2251
01:50:43,280 --> 01:50:45,300
Analyze.
2252
01:50:49,280 --> 01:50:52,690
Analysis is a serious business.
2253
01:50:52,720 --> 01:50:54,600
Would it help if I cried?
2254
01:50:54,620 --> 01:50:56,260
One needs an office,
2255
01:50:56,290 --> 01:50:57,436
a certain amount of formality.
2256
01:50:57,460 --> 01:50:59,520
What if I put on
a more expensive dress.
2257
01:50:59,550 --> 01:51:02,260
And then cried?
2258
01:51:02,280 --> 01:51:03,790
Well, it's safe to suggest.
2259
01:51:03,820 --> 01:51:05,700
That you examine the need.
2260
01:51:05,720 --> 01:51:06,800
You and your colleagues feel.
2261
01:51:06,820 --> 01:51:09,020
To spend so much time together.
2262
01:51:09,050 --> 01:51:12,130
They're shits, really,
except for Mr. Benchley.
2263
01:51:12,150 --> 01:51:16,400
That's quite a thing to say
about your best friends.
2264
01:51:18,490 --> 01:51:20,290
Please be sweet.
2265
01:51:21,780 --> 01:51:25,260
Don't know why
I can't work anymore,
2266
01:51:25,290 --> 01:51:29,460
why life is
so goddamned painful.
2267
01:51:32,280 --> 01:51:35,930
If we identify your inability to
work as the primary problem...
2268
01:51:35,950 --> 01:51:37,270
It's a tossup, really,
between that.
2269
01:51:37,290 --> 01:51:39,760
And my inability to get laid.
2270
01:51:39,780 --> 01:51:41,390
Then we ought to examine.
2271
01:51:41,420 --> 01:51:43,760
How your energy
is being spent instead.
2272
01:51:43,780 --> 01:51:45,460
What else?
2273
01:51:45,490 --> 01:51:47,200
Your drinking.
2274
01:51:47,220 --> 01:51:49,920
Oh, it doesn't do me
much good anymore,
2275
01:51:49,950 --> 01:51:52,430
but that's about
the extent of it.
2276
01:51:52,450 --> 01:51:54,260
I have to disagree.
2277
01:51:54,290 --> 01:51:56,730
Well, maybe it's the bad
whiskey I've been getting.
2278
01:51:56,750 --> 01:51:57,860
May I say,
2279
01:51:57,890 --> 01:51:59,460
the real stuff never
made me suffer.
2280
01:51:59,480 --> 01:52:02,530
It's not what you're suffering,
Mrs. Parker.
2281
01:52:02,550 --> 01:52:03,290
It's what you're missing.
2282
01:52:03,320 --> 01:52:04,400
In my opinion,
2283
01:52:04,420 --> 01:52:08,560
you and your friends
are missing a great deal.
2284
01:52:08,580 --> 01:52:10,190
It's a sign of insecurity,
2285
01:52:10,210 --> 01:52:13,690
this compulsion to be
constantly with each other,
2286
01:52:13,720 --> 01:52:15,260
to be constantly entertaining,
2287
01:52:15,290 --> 01:52:18,120
but never discussing one subject for long,
never in-depth.
2288
01:52:18,160 --> 01:52:21,860
The serious side of
your nature is lost...
2289
01:52:21,880 --> 01:52:23,860
Your purpose.
2290
01:52:23,880 --> 01:52:28,860
And then you can't write.
2291
01:52:28,880 --> 01:52:29,960
I think life is something more.
2292
01:52:29,980 --> 01:52:31,290
Than being able to breathe.
2293
01:52:32,880 --> 01:52:35,560
Do I have to believe that.
2294
01:52:35,590 --> 01:52:36,700
To feel better?
2295
01:52:38,580 --> 01:52:41,890
Tell me about your mother.
2296
01:52:41,920 --> 01:52:45,400
She died when you were 5.
2297
01:52:45,420 --> 01:52:48,860
Actually,
it was a month before my 5th birthday.
2298
01:52:48,880 --> 01:52:51,560
Oh...
2299
01:52:51,580 --> 01:52:54,360
Sometimes I...
2300
01:52:54,390 --> 01:52:59,420
I think I catch a
bit of her voice,
2301
01:52:59,450 --> 01:53:01,860
her scent,
2302
01:53:01,880 --> 01:53:04,560
something she once said,
2303
01:53:04,590 --> 01:53:10,060
and then... it slips away.
2304
01:53:10,080 --> 01:53:14,130
Oh,
I suppose she loved me and kept me warm.
2305
01:53:14,150 --> 01:53:14,860
And made sure I ate roughage,
2306
01:53:14,890 --> 01:53:16,400
but the, uh...
2307
01:53:17,890 --> 01:53:19,360
The truth is,
2308
01:53:19,380 --> 01:53:24,300
I barely remember
a thing about her.
2309
01:53:24,320 --> 01:53:25,630
That's no reason to be afraid.
2310
01:53:25,650 --> 01:53:27,590
It's good to remember.
2311
01:53:27,620 --> 01:53:29,520
But I'm not remembering.
2312
01:53:29,550 --> 01:53:32,830
I'm just guessing.
2313
01:53:32,850 --> 01:53:35,330
I'm guessing everything.
2314
01:53:35,350 --> 01:53:37,820
It would be
different, if only...
2315
01:53:37,860 --> 01:53:39,820
Ah...
2316
01:53:39,850 --> 01:53:42,660
If only this. If only that.
2317
01:53:46,350 --> 01:53:48,520
Where are you going, Dorothy?
2318
01:53:48,550 --> 01:53:50,320
I'm returning to my room.
2319
01:53:50,350 --> 01:53:52,830
My anxieties are waiting.
They miss me.
2320
01:53:52,850 --> 01:53:55,530
You think that's a good idea?
2321
01:53:55,550 --> 01:53:56,830
I like my room.
2322
01:53:56,850 --> 01:53:58,820
Everything I need is there.
2323
01:53:58,850 --> 01:54:01,130
Don't you think
you should stay here.
2324
01:54:01,150 --> 01:54:04,130
Until you face this pain
more directly?
2325
01:54:04,150 --> 01:54:06,830
Face it more directly?
2326
01:54:06,850 --> 01:54:09,320
Um, I face it every day.
2327
01:54:09,350 --> 01:54:11,830
I fall in love with married men,
2328
01:54:11,850 --> 01:54:14,030
but I do it on purpose.
2329
01:54:14,050 --> 01:54:17,270
I drink too much,
and that's because I'm thirsty.
2330
01:54:17,290 --> 01:54:24,830
And I write doodads because
it's a doodad kind of town.
2331
01:54:24,850 --> 01:54:29,820
It's, um, nothing...
Personal, doctor,
2332
01:54:29,850 --> 01:54:32,530
but I think my version of pain.
2333
01:54:32,550 --> 01:54:34,360
Is more fun than yours.
2334
01:54:36,920 --> 01:54:38,660
You're up.
2335
01:54:40,380 --> 01:54:41,830
Mr. Kaufman.
2336
01:54:41,850 --> 01:54:44,030
I'm surprised to see you here.
2337
01:54:44,050 --> 01:54:45,230
You, me, all of Manhattan,
2338
01:54:45,250 --> 01:54:49,320
and parts of schenectady,
I'm sure.
2339
01:54:49,350 --> 01:54:51,660
Did she say anything about me?
2340
01:55:14,350 --> 01:55:17,820
Just a little one...
While we're up.
2341
01:55:17,860 --> 01:55:20,820
My dear, do let me
congratulate you.
2342
01:55:20,850 --> 01:55:22,490
You must be terribly proud...
2343
01:55:22,520 --> 01:55:23,830
Who?
2344
01:55:23,850 --> 01:55:25,330
Dorothy Parker.
2345
01:55:25,350 --> 01:55:26,960
Dorothy Parker, yeah,
the writer.
2346
01:55:26,990 --> 01:55:28,960
I worked with
her and her husband.
2347
01:55:28,980 --> 01:55:31,130
In Hollywood a long time ago.
2348
01:55:31,150 --> 01:55:34,300
They had just remarried.
2349
01:55:34,320 --> 01:55:36,000
Didn't she commit suicide?
2350
01:55:36,020 --> 01:55:37,690
Shh. No, no, no.
2351
01:55:37,720 --> 01:55:39,060
What? I'm just
asking a question.
2352
01:55:39,080 --> 01:55:40,560
She was very famous.
2353
01:55:40,580 --> 01:55:43,890
For writing movies or for
marrying the same guy twice?
2354
01:55:43,920 --> 01:55:45,400
For having lunch, mostly.
2355
01:55:45,420 --> 01:55:47,270
Ha ha ha!
2356
01:55:47,290 --> 01:55:49,460
Is that a double?
2357
01:55:49,480 --> 01:55:52,290
You didn't ask
for a double, lady.
2358
01:55:52,320 --> 01:55:54,100
I didn't?
2359
01:55:54,120 --> 01:55:57,820
I meant to. I promise you.
2360
01:55:57,860 --> 01:56:00,020
I'll get you another one.
2361
01:56:03,350 --> 01:56:06,830
How about a little tummy rub?
2362
01:56:06,850 --> 01:56:10,920
Part of the romance
of digestion.
2363
01:56:10,950 --> 01:56:12,890
I want you to meet her.
Just for a second.
2364
01:56:12,920 --> 01:56:17,100
It's all right. Go ahead. Sit.
2365
01:56:17,120 --> 01:56:19,820
Mrs. Parker, I hope
we're not disturbing you.
2366
01:56:19,850 --> 01:56:21,530
Well...
2367
01:56:21,550 --> 01:56:23,030
Do you remember me?
2368
01:56:23,050 --> 01:56:25,330
Honey,
I don't remember this morning.
2369
01:56:25,350 --> 01:56:26,830
Ha ha ha!
2370
01:56:26,850 --> 01:56:28,520
I'm Fred hunter.
2371
01:56:28,550 --> 01:56:30,460
I acted in a picture.
2372
01:56:30,480 --> 01:56:32,830
That you and your husband,
Alan Campbell,
2373
01:56:32,850 --> 01:56:34,460
wrote several years ago...
2374
01:56:34,490 --> 01:56:36,530
Flight to nowhere.
2375
01:56:36,550 --> 01:56:38,520
Well, I got cut out, but...
2376
01:56:38,550 --> 01:56:39,520
Honey, if I wrote it,
2377
01:56:39,550 --> 01:56:42,030
they cut me out, too.
2378
01:56:42,050 --> 01:56:44,300
These are two friends
of mine... Marcy and June.
2379
01:56:44,320 --> 01:56:46,830
This is Mrs. Parker,
Dorothy Parker.
2380
01:56:46,850 --> 01:56:48,790
Can we buy you a drink?
2381
01:56:48,810 --> 01:56:50,460
Well, sure. Ha ha ha!
2382
01:56:50,480 --> 01:56:53,830
Can we get another drink
here for Mrs. Parker?
2383
01:56:53,850 --> 01:56:55,060
I was just telling them.
2384
01:56:55,090 --> 01:56:57,530
About the old Hollywood days.
2385
01:56:57,560 --> 01:56:59,020
And about your husband.
2386
01:56:59,050 --> 01:57:01,130
He was so, so nice to me
when we worked together.
2387
01:57:01,150 --> 01:57:04,760
I don't doubt it.
2388
01:57:04,790 --> 01:57:06,500
Unhappily... oh,
I beg your pardon.
2389
01:57:06,520 --> 01:57:08,120
Happily, I'm away
from Hollywood now,
2390
01:57:08,160 --> 01:57:13,360
and I don't have to
hear about that crap.
2391
01:57:13,380 --> 01:57:15,360
Whatever happened
to that director?
2392
01:57:15,390 --> 01:57:16,566
What was his name?
I can't remember.
2393
01:57:16,590 --> 01:57:18,920
He went to jail,
2394
01:57:18,950 --> 01:57:22,560
for being an American
in the U.S. of a.
2395
01:57:22,580 --> 01:57:24,500
Oh, really. Jail?
2396
01:57:24,520 --> 01:57:26,860
Oh, you mean
because of the... right.
2397
01:57:26,890 --> 01:57:28,890
Thank you.
2398
01:57:28,910 --> 01:57:31,530
Did you, uh, I mean...
2399
01:57:31,550 --> 01:57:33,260
Oh, no, no, dear.
2400
01:57:33,280 --> 01:57:37,070
But I bought a new hat,
just in case.
2401
01:57:37,090 --> 01:57:38,660
Well, there's plenty
of money in Hollywood.
2402
01:57:38,680 --> 01:57:39,990
To buy things with.
2403
01:57:40,010 --> 01:57:41,530
Oh, Hollywood.
2404
01:57:41,550 --> 01:57:42,790
Money isn't real.
2405
01:57:42,820 --> 01:57:44,060
It's like...
2406
01:57:44,090 --> 01:57:45,860
Well,
I don't know what the money is like.
2407
01:57:45,890 --> 01:57:48,420
It's like small ice
in your hand.
2408
01:57:48,450 --> 01:57:50,990
We got to go.
2409
01:57:51,020 --> 01:57:53,060
Oh, o.K. Great.
2410
01:57:53,080 --> 01:57:54,830
Mrs. Parker, we're on our way.
2411
01:57:54,850 --> 01:57:55,800
To a movie.
2412
01:57:55,820 --> 01:57:57,460
Would you like to join us?
2413
01:57:57,490 --> 01:58:00,620
Why were you just asking
me about Hollywood?
2414
01:58:00,650 --> 01:58:03,290
The thing has come down
on me like a curtain,
2415
01:58:03,320 --> 01:58:05,630
and I don't want to
remember those things.
2416
01:58:05,650 --> 01:58:06,660
Why are you trying.
2417
01:58:06,690 --> 01:58:07,960
To split these curtains to me...
2418
01:58:07,990 --> 01:58:11,490
Just a nice woman
trying to talk to you?
2419
01:58:11,520 --> 01:58:12,790
We're going to be late.
2420
01:58:12,820 --> 01:58:15,930
O.k. Well, anyway...
2421
01:58:15,950 --> 01:58:17,790
Fred...
2422
01:58:17,820 --> 01:58:21,060
Always late.
2423
01:58:21,080 --> 01:58:23,090
Someone said they'd have to keep.
2424
01:58:23,120 --> 01:58:27,270
Heaven open after hours for him.
2425
01:58:27,290 --> 01:58:29,560
Ha.
2426
01:58:29,580 --> 01:58:32,760
Well, Mrs. Parker,
it's a pleasure to see you.
2427
01:58:32,780 --> 01:58:35,600
You look...
It's nice to see you.
2428
01:58:43,320 --> 01:58:45,100
Well...
2429
01:58:47,020 --> 01:58:50,720
A dependable
fact-of-life cliche...
2430
01:58:50,750 --> 01:58:55,600
Everything's always worse
than you thought it would be.
2431
01:59:14,790 --> 01:59:17,220
We are here to honor
Dorothy Parker.
2432
01:59:17,260 --> 01:59:20,120
Because the clean wit
of her verse.
2433
01:59:20,150 --> 01:59:22,860
And the sharp perceptions
in her stories.
2434
01:59:22,880 --> 01:59:26,300
Have produced a brilliant record
of our times.
2435
01:59:26,320 --> 01:59:28,990
Because of Mrs. Parker's
true talent,
2436
01:59:29,010 --> 01:59:31,990
her early work gives us
as much pleasure today.
2437
01:59:32,020 --> 01:59:34,300
As it did 30 years ago.
2438
01:59:34,320 --> 01:59:36,000
What horse shit,
2439
01:59:36,020 --> 01:59:37,990
with apologies to the horses.
2440
01:59:38,020 --> 01:59:41,490
Happily names Dorothy Parker.
2441
01:59:41,520 --> 01:59:45,300
As this year's recipient of
the Marjorie peabody waite award.
2442
01:59:45,320 --> 01:59:48,490
For achievement and integrity.
2443
02:00:21,320 --> 02:00:24,030
I never thought I'd make it.
2444
02:02:15,890 --> 02:02:17,336
Do you miss the glamour
of the jazz age?
2445
02:02:17,360 --> 02:02:21,990
Glamour? They ought to
call it the dingy decade.
2446
02:02:22,020 --> 02:02:23,930
What disturbs you most
about American culture,
2447
02:02:23,950 --> 02:02:26,030
Mrs. Parker?
2448
02:02:26,050 --> 02:02:30,060
Stupidity, intolerance,
and segregation...
2449
02:02:30,080 --> 02:02:31,990
Particularly segregation.
2450
02:02:32,020 --> 02:02:35,130
Is it true that you
were involved in.
2451
02:02:35,150 --> 02:02:36,300
The Spanish civil war?
2452
02:02:36,320 --> 02:02:38,460
Why do we have to go into that?
2453
02:02:38,480 --> 02:02:40,660
Yes, I was!
2454
02:02:40,680 --> 02:02:44,130
Indeed, I should like to say.
2455
02:02:44,150 --> 02:02:47,990
It was the proudest thing
I've ever been of.
2456
02:02:48,020 --> 02:02:49,990
I was, for a time,
2457
02:02:50,010 --> 02:02:54,300
with the proudest people
I've ever been of.
2458
02:02:54,320 --> 02:02:57,490
And that doesn't
hurt you, you know.
2459
02:02:57,520 --> 02:03:00,990
What do you think of kerouac and
the beat generation writers?
2460
02:03:01,020 --> 02:03:05,500
Well, you'll... you'll take him.
2461
02:03:05,520 --> 02:03:08,490
I think this thing of
the beat generation...
2462
02:03:08,510 --> 02:03:09,990
Do you mind?
2463
02:03:10,010 --> 02:03:11,990
I think it's perfect nonsense,
2464
02:03:12,020 --> 02:03:13,930
and I think
in a couple of years,
2465
02:03:13,950 --> 02:03:15,360
they'll be forgotten.
2466
02:03:15,390 --> 02:03:19,190
But us, messy as we were
and all that,
2467
02:03:19,210 --> 02:03:21,030
we're not going to be forgotten,
2468
02:03:21,050 --> 02:03:23,160
because some of us
came out of it.
2469
02:03:23,180 --> 02:03:25,300
There came out benchley.
There came out Fitzgerald.
2470
02:03:25,320 --> 02:03:26,850
There came out Hemingway.
2471
02:03:26,890 --> 02:03:28,290
There came out broun.
2472
02:03:28,310 --> 02:03:29,860
There came out Sherwood.
2473
02:03:29,880 --> 02:03:31,860
Well, for heaven's sweet sake,
2474
02:03:31,880 --> 02:03:34,360
who's coming out
of the beatniks?
2475
02:03:34,390 --> 02:03:37,890
All right. Kerouac.
All right. All right.
2476
02:03:37,910 --> 02:03:39,020
Ha ha ha!
2477
02:03:39,050 --> 02:03:40,090
Have you thought about.
2478
02:03:40,110 --> 02:03:41,860
What you'd like to have written.
2479
02:03:41,880 --> 02:03:43,860
On your tombstone, Mrs. Parker?
2480
02:03:43,880 --> 02:03:47,860
What a morbid thing
to ask a person.
2481
02:03:47,890 --> 02:03:51,860
You've just stolen my heart.
2482
02:03:51,880 --> 02:03:55,030
Actually, I have
composed something.
2483
02:03:55,050 --> 02:03:56,730
For my epitaph,
2484
02:03:56,750 --> 02:03:57,860
something memorable, I hope.
2485
02:03:57,890 --> 02:04:00,360
Well, I'm not a bit surprised.
2486
02:04:00,380 --> 02:04:03,190
Are you going to let
me know what it is?
2487
02:04:12,880 --> 02:04:15,960
Come here, dear.
2488
02:04:15,990 --> 02:04:18,960
Off we go.
2489
02:04:18,980 --> 02:04:20,860
Excuse me.
2490
02:04:20,880 --> 02:04:23,160
What did she say?
168629
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