All language subtitles for Letterkenny s11e06 Degens.eng

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Original subtitles

You�were�having�a�dart�with your�pals�the�other�day...

DAN:�Tanis�is�off the�darts,�eh?

-�WAYNE:�Is�she�really? -�DARY:�How'd�she�manage�that?

Said�she�was�reading�an articles�in�Canadian�Livings,

or...�or�maybe�it�was Chatelaines.

Could�have�just�as easily�been�Chatelaine.

-�Or�Flare. -�Oh,�maybe�it�was�Flares.

Could�have�just�as easily�been.

Either�way,�she was�reads-ing�an�article

that�posed�the�questions, "Whens�was�the�last�times

youse�reallys enjoyeds�a�darts?"

Well,�I�gotta�say�that�I'm enjoying�this�dart�quite�a�bit

-�right�here. -�This�is�a�great�dart.

Yeah.�I�was�just�thinking�there ain't�nothing�wrong

with�the�darts I'm�havings�right�nows.

Like,�I�know�you're not�supposed�to�like�them.

-�Who's�"you"? -�And�they�tell�you

-�that�they're�bad�for�you. -�Who's�"they"?

But�it's�just�like...

quit�telling�me�what I�shouldn't�like.

I�think�youse�just became�theys.

So�don't�go�telling me�what�I�shouldn't�like.

Who�you�fucking�talking to,�bud?

I�was�just�thinkings, I�can'ts--

I�can'ts�remembers�a darts�I�didn'ts�enjoys.

Well,�it's�like,�if�you're not�going�to�enjoy�the�dart,

then�just�don't have�the�dart.

Well,�yeah.�That's�the�power that�you�have�over�the�darts.

They�try�to�tell�you�that�that's the�power

the�darts�have�over�you.

Fuck.�They's�got a�big�mouth.

They's�starting�to piss�me�off!

Well,�just�because I�think�that,�you�know,

it's�you�running�to the�store�all�the�time

and�spending�your�hard-earned money�on�the�darts,

rather�than the�other�way�around.

(Chuckling)�Kind�of funny,�though,

the�thought�of�darts�going to�the�store�for�you.

They�don't think�so,�eh?

DAN:�What�would�you�says�is the�darts�yous�most�enjoyeds?

Oh. (Chuckling)

We've�had�a�lot�of�great darts�over�the�years.

I've�always�enjoyed that�first�dart

-�when�you�step�off�an�airplane. -�That's�a�great�dart.

No�better�pair�than a�coffee�and�a�dart.

WAYNE:�Fucking�not�even a�piss�and�a�fart.

DARY:�But�if�I�have�to�say�the dart�that�I�enjoyed�the�most--

-�DAN:�Evers? -�Yeah.

If�I�have�to�say�the�dart that�I�enjoyed�the�most�ever,

it�would�be�the�first dart�I�ever�had.

Geez,�I�don't remember�that�dart

being�such�a�good darts�for�mes.

Oh,�I�coughed so�God�damn�bad.

Well,�it�was�the�first time�I'd�ever�had�sex.

DAN,�WAYNE: Oh.

-�If�you�lay�it�out�like�that. -�Changed�my�fucking�mind.

-�That'd�be�a�damned�good�dart. -�Context.�Yeah.

Wee�bit�cliché,�though,�lighting up�a�darts�after�sex,�though,

-�don't�you�thinks? -�Well,�I�had�heard

that�you're�supposed�to lay�with�them�for�a�little�while

before�you�go�get�cleaned�up, so�I�figured�I'd�have�a�dart.

Better�not�be�darting�in�bed�if I'm�doing�up�the�linens.

It's�just�that�I'd seen�people�in�movies�smoke

so�many�times�after�sex that�I�thought

that's�what�you were�'exposed'�to�do.

DAN:�Oh,�no.

Same�thing�goes�with�the�sex beforehand.

I�just�did�what�I'd�seen�so�many times�in�porno�movies,

and�it�turns�out�that�is�not what�you're�exposed�to�do.

-�WAYNE:�No. -�I�thinks�the�best�darts

I�ever�had�was�the�series�of darts�I'd�smokes�after�school,

playing�cards�with my�Aunt�Ethels.

But�mind�you,�Ethels would�call�darts�fags,

and�I�expose�there's a�certain�amount�of�charm

to�that�language�coming outs�of�the�right�mouths.

Oh,�context.�Yeah.

What�about�you,�Wayne?

(Wayne�grunting)

You�okays, good�buddies?

(Grunting) Just�like...

getting�a�wee�bit emotional�here

with�all�this�talk of�great�darts.

DAN: Mm-hmm.�Yeah.

Been�a�lot�of�great�fucking darts�over�the�years.

WAYNE:�...think�about them�a�lot,�so...

Only�can�really�think about�them�so�much,�though.

You�think�about�who's been�there�for�you.

Yeah.�Right�there�in the�breast�pocket�there.

Fucking�great�darts.

Do�you�want�to�know�what?�You kinda�enjoy�them�all�equally,

and�if�you�didn't, you�wouldn't�smoke�them.

So�hold�your�judgement, because�at�the�end�of�the�day,

I�could�put�down darts�a�lot�faster

than�you�could�put�down the�fucking�internet.

��

How's�Jivin'�doing?

WAYNE: You're�late,�bud!

You're�late,�bud.

You're�late,�bud!

You're�late,�bud.

Bale�of�hay could�kill�a�man!

WAYNE: It's�fucking�barley!

He'll�figure�it�out.

Don't�cuts�him�too�much�slacks, good�buddies.

Bend�enough�and you'll�break.

I'd�have�never�hired him�in�the�first�place.

When�a�friend�asks�for help,�you�help�him.

-�No�friend�of�mine. -�Oh,�look�at�that.

Guy�who�got�exiled for�two�years

after�getting�written�up�in the�paper�for�mailbox�stealing

doesn't�believe in�second�chances.

Hey,�Katy?�Katy?

What�are�those?

What,�these?

See�you�got�some�new high-tops�there.

These�don't�need�an introduction.

What�are�you�trying to�fucking...

you�trying�to�fucking start�a�punk�band�or--

-�Skas�band? -�Skinhead?

Sticks�and�stones,�boys. Docs�are�timeless�fashion,

and�timeless�fashion never�goes�out�of�style.

Okay.�So,�what are�you,�a�fucking...

fucking�dairy-free ice�cream�eater�or--

-�Going�to�smoke�a�pipe�next? -�Oi!�Oi!�Oi!

Style�tips�from�Mark's�Work fucking�Warehouse.�I�love�it.

DAN:�Alright,�but�does�you really�wants�to�be...�that�guy?

Youse�guys�don't�know�what the�fuck�you're�talking�about.

What's�wrong�with�being known�for�something?

Oh,�nothings, nothings...

if'n�it's�a�good�thing.

Yeah,�there�was�a�while�there that�I�was�thinking

about�rocking�a�chain�wallet, but�didn't�want�to�be�that�guy.

Same�with�me�when I�had�my�nipples�ring.

-�I�was�that�guy. -�How'd�you�get�that�out?

-�You�was�there. -�Was�I�really?

I�mean,�it's�like�the�time�I wanted�to�get�cat-eye�glasses,

but�I�didn't�want to�be�that�guy.

Same�with�bangs.

Oh,�my�God.

Should�I�get�bangs?

GUYS:�(In�monotone) Yes.�You�should�get�bangs.

It's�not the�right�time.

-�Should�I�get�bangs? -�Dudes�don't�get�bangs.

-�Wayne�has�bangs. -�Docs�are�different,�though.

Docs�are�iconic.

-�You�doing�Kegels�over�there? -�What's�that?

Why�are�you squinting�so�much?

Future's�bright.

I've�been�noticing�you�doing that�a�lot�more�recently.

I've�noticed�you�doing�it�a�wee bits�more�than�usuals,�toos,

-�good�buddies. -�No.�I�think�you're�squinting

just�the�perfect amount�there,�good�buddy.

You're�having�trouble seeing,�aren't�you?

Got�a�bright�future.

When�was�the�last�time�you�went to�the�optom-al-myth?

Oh,�that'd�be�our�class�trip to�Dr.�McDavid's.

-�As�in�Grade�2? -�Grade�1.

-�Grade�1! -�What's�the�problem,�Katy?

-�I'm�making�you�an�appointment. -�Don't�you�got

a�fucking�Warped�Tour to�get�to�or�something?

Why�don't�you�go�play�fucking rockabilly,�fucking�steampunk?

-�Fucking�dance�of�the�skanks. -�Fucking�going�straight�edge.

WAYNE:�Get�outta�here, you�fucking�stage�diver!

Say,�where's Dr.�McDavid?

Dr.�McDavid�my�grandpa, or�Dr.�McDavid�my�dad?

-�The�doctors�McDavid. -�Golf�course.�Or�Legion.

Yeah,�'cause�I�was�just�thinking you're�kind�of�young

-�to�be�a�doctor,�eh? -�I�think�when�you�get

to�a�certain�age, everyone�seems�young.

Good�enough.

So,�do�you�want�the�good�news first�or�the�bad�news?

-�Bad. -�You're�dying.

-�I'll�get�my�affairs�in�order. -�There's�no�bad�news.

Some�people�with�your vision�get�glasses,

and�some�people�don't.

Well,�then�I'll�save�a�buck.

What�prompted�you�to get�your�eyes�checked?

I'm�told�I squint�too�much.

-�You�got�a�bright�future. -�Thank�you�for�your�help.

But�if the�sun's�bothering�you--

Well,�the�sun doesn't�bother�me.

--I�could�apply your�prescription

to�a�very�stylish pair�of�sunglasses.

Hmm...

You�playing shortstop�or�second?

-�Eh? -�Left�field?

-�Mind�your�beeswax. -�A�little�brisk�out

for�beach�volleyballs�theres, good�buddies.

Little�warm�for '80s�night�on�the�slopes.

I�could�shake�my�head in�these�all�day.

-�They�won't�come�off. -�Prove�it.

You�look�like�you're�about to�rip�a�Tour�De�France.

Look�like�Lance�Armstrong�if he�did�even�more�steroids.

You�look�like�the�guy�who's gonna�say�something�racist

into�camera�at�a live-on-location�news�broadcast.

I�thought�Jivin'�Pete�was exposed�to�bes�heres.

(Groaning)

-�What? -�Now,�I'll�shake�my�head.

-�He's�fucking�up. -�How�late�is�he�this�times?

-�Doesn't�matter. -�Late�is�late.

Yeah.�If�you're�not�10�minutes early,�you're�late.

He�smells�like�a�brewery all�morning

and�a�dispensary all�afternoon.

Smells�like�he�pissed�on�a campfire�and�stood�in�the�smoke.

Look�who's�talking.

Tried�to�show�me�a�nude�of a�gal�he�had�on�his�phone,

and�I�said,�"I,�sirs, ams�a�feminist."

-�Don't�be�that�guy. -�Yeah.

Definitely�don't be�that�guy.

Oh...�Do�you�want to�know�what?

-�I�feel�bad�for�him. -�Who�the�fuck�are�you?

Like,�I'm�not�getting�soft�or anything.�Just,�like--

You're�a�fanny�pack full�of�cotton�balls.

It's�like,�it's�likely�not easy�getting�yourself�sorted

after�you�been�off�smoking�meth for�half�a�fucking�decade.

You're�a chocolate�marshmallow�Santa.

-�Here�he�is,�doing�it. -�You're�baby�hair,�bud.

Just�can't�get�out of�his�own�way.

You�know�what? I�think�those�sunglasses

are�a�wee�bit�tight�on�your brain,�big�brother.

But�I�ams a�feminists.

Good,�Dan. Girls�love�that.

Well,�I�was�told they�don't.

WAYNE: Want�to�know�what?�Fuck�it.

I�got�to�do�something,�because he's�fucking�useless.

-�He�is�risen. -�Yeah.

He's�fucking up�lots,�good�buddy.

Yeah.�Shared�those nude�pictures�of�Gails.

-�Abandoned�his�dog. -�Now,�he's�late

every�fucking�day,�and�then you�give�him�a�second�chance.

-�And�what�does�he�do? -�Smells�like�a�brewery

all�morning�and�a dispensary�all�afternoon.

-�Time�to�cut�him�loose. -�I'll�do�something�like�that.

-�There�he�is. -�Just,�uh...

don't�like�to�kick�people when�they're�down.

But...�I�ams�a�feminists.

Never�want�to�get�your�dick sucked�again,�then,�eh,�bud?

"I�Speak�Feminist."

Yo.�This�guy likes�to�party.

You're�not�that guy,�are�you?

I�will�no�longers�bes�brow- beatens�because�of�my�beliefs.

I'm�a�feminist,�sirs, and�prouds�ofs�it.

You�know�you�can�be�one�without screaming�it

in�everybody's�face, though,�right?

Those�who�shout�the�loudest have�the�most�to�hide.

-�Same�thing�goes�for�gals,�too. -�(Yelling)�Huh?

There's�no�rights�or�wrongs ways�to�bes�a�feminists.

You�mansplaining,�bud?

Never.

Hey,�boys.

-�There's�womens�presents. -�Okay,�fine.�Hey,�guys.

-�That's�not�better. -�Fuck�off.

-�So,�it's�my�birthday�week-- -�Sorry.�What?

It's�my birthday�week,

and�I�want�to�celebrate it�with�everyone�I�care�about.

So,�I�was�wondering�if�you�all would�meet�me�here�tonight

to�celebrate�the�best birthday�week�ever.

-�You're�that�guy? -�What�guy?

The�guy�who�makes�way�too�big a�deal�out�of�his�own�birthday.

Only�13-year-old girls�can�use

the�expression�"birthday week,"�you�Sally.

-�I�got�this,�buddy. -�Thanks,�bud.

Look.�It's�just�been a�really--

It's�just�been�a�really�tough week�for�everyone,

with�the�degens fucking�with�us�again--

Degens�are�fucking with�youse,�too?

Tibadoo�got�a�job driving�the�Zamboni,

but�he�didn't show�up�for�work,

and�we�had�to�play�our�beer league�game�in�an�inch�of�snow.

-�Fuck�youse,�Tibadoos. -�And�I�just--

I�just�think�a birthday�week�party

is�what�we�all�need right�now.

-�Huh? -�And�you're�that�guy?

(Hesitantly) Yes?

The�guy�who�knows�what�we all�need�right�now?

What�next?�Anything�that that�brings�you

mild�satisfaction is�everything?

And�anyone�doing�anything remotely�relatable

is�"all�of�us"?

Gail,�the�new�hand�soap�you�got in�the�bathroom

gives�me�life.

Oh,�my�God,�Katy. That�video�you�posted

of�Gus�sleeping�beside his�bowl�is�such�a�mood.

You're�not�a�tabloid magazine's�Twitter�account.

Stop�talking like�that.

Well,�none�of�this changes�the�fact

that�I�still�want�to�make, uh,�my�birthday�week--

ALL: Don't�say�"birthday�week"!

I�wasn't�going�to!

Birthday.

But�I�do�really�want�to make�a�week�out�of�it,�so...

We'll�come�to�your birthday�party.

-�Thank�you. -�You're�early.

If�you're�not�10�minutes early,�you're�late.

Fucking�A,�ma�fille.

Anik,�it's�my�birthday week,�so�I�was--

-�Don't�be�that�guy. -�Okay.

-�Hi,�Anik. -�Bonjour,�Daryl.

(Snapping)

Did�youse�know�that�those�little top�ponies

are�still�a�thing with�dudes�in�Quebec?

REILLY: Like�a--�like�a�top�knot?

GAIL:�Kind�of, but�gnarlier.

Like�a�little nubbin�up�there.

Hmm.�You�don't�say.

DAN:�Nothing�wrong�with�a guy�shows-ing�his�feminine�side,

-�sirs,�especially-- -�No.

-�No.�Okay. -�I�was�watching

some�hockey�fights�from the�Quebec�senior�league,

and�I�picked�out�two�dozen of�those�little�nubbins

in�the�crowd.

REILLY: Nubbin.

Oh.

Now,�there's�a�way things�run�around�here,

and�your�work�ethic is�slowing�up�production.

Okay.

I�can�see�you're�trying�to�turn over�a�new�leaf�and�all�that,

and�I'm�trying to�help�you,

but�you're�not�reliable.

Okay.

Feels�to�me�like�there might�be�a�problem.

I�wonder�if�it mightn't�be�a�bad�idea

for�you�to�take�some�time and�get�that�sorted.

You�firing�me?

Did�I�say�I�was firing�you?

Okay.

Jivin's�saying�some shit�about�you.

And�we�know�it's�not�true,

but�we�want�you�to�know it's�being�said.

He�came�to us�for�some�contraband

an�hour�or�so�ago, and�he�was�indignant,

irked,�ireful, ill-tempered!

He�said�you called�us�fags.

We�know�you�wouldn't say�that,�so...

We�just�wanted�you�to know�it�was�being�said.

(Vehicle�approaching)

MCMURRAY: Wayne.

How�are�you,�now?

-�Good,�and�you? -�Not�so�bad.

Wayne,�Jivin'�come�to�the�house looking�for�a�hot�tub.

Now,�he's an�old�pal,�so,

you�know,�I�entertained the�idea,

but�then�he�had�the�audacity, the�little�rat�bastard,

to�say�that�when�he was�here�working�with�youse,

that�youse�guys�were�saying you'd�like�to�fuck�my�old�lady,

Mrs.�McMurray!

Now,�I�know you�wouldn't�say�it.

I'm�just�letting�you�know, it's�being�said.

We�know�you wouldn't�say�it.

But,�like...�if�you�did...

(Vehicle�approaching)

(Truck�doors�closing)

Jivin'�was�talking�shit�about you�in�the�MoDean's�parking�lot.

Dan�went�to�punched�him. He�ducked�out.

Dary�went�to�chase�him, but�he�couldn't�catch�him.

Well,�that's the�difference

between�a�friend and�a�pal.

A�pal�will�listen�to�someone talk�shit�about�you.

A�friend�won't�hear a�second�of�it.

Degens�are�back.

Degens�ain't welcomes.

How�we�going to�fuck�this�pig?

Hi.

Daryl!

What?

You're�that�guy?

(Both�laughing)

BOTH: Oh,�my�God!

Oh,�my�God!�Oh,�my�God!

-�I�tried�to�tell�him. -�Nothing�wrongs

with�showings�your feminine�sides,�Darys.

Take�your�hair�down, you�fucking�woman.

You�going�to�rip some�Ultimate�later?

-�You�mean�Ultimate�Frisbee? -�Guess�not.

If�you�were,�you�would�know�they just�call�it�Ultimate.

You�going�for�glamour shots�later�or�something?

Well,�okay.�You�said dudes�from�Quebec

have�tiny�little�top�knots�up there,�so�I�thought�maybe--

Daryl.

Mm.�Hello,�Anik.

Trying�something�new?

This?�Oh.�(Chuckling) You�noticed.

You�look�like all�my�cousints.

(Skids�laughing)

-�That�was�hot. -�That�was...

It's�good�to�be�known�for something,�Daryl.

And�there�is�nothing�wrong with�being...�that�guy.

For�instance, I�wear�a�bowler�hat.

(Snapping) I'm�that�guy.

Yeah,�and�I�wear�a�bandana. I'm�that�guy.

Thank�you,�skids.

Just�don't�be...

BOTH: That�guy!

(Both�laughing)

Oh,�my�God!�Oh,�my�God!

Hey,�Gails,�what guys�are�youse?

-�In�a�town�this�size? -�Yeah.

-�The�black�guy. -�The�great�David�Beckham

could�barely�pull that�off,�you�fool.

Bender�like Beckham.�(Laughing)

Hilarious�coming�from A�Clockwork�Orange.

-�What? -�KATY:�They're�right.

You're�no Jon�Snow,�bud.

Don't�you�have�a�Mighty�Mighty Bosstones�show�to�get�to?

I'm�more�of a�Rancid�gal.

What's�with the�hat,�Dan?

-�I,�sirs,�am-- -�Just�kidding.

-�I�don't�give�a�fuck. -�Why�would�you�ask�him,�then?

That�was�so�rude!

(All�talking at�once)

(Angrily�talking�over each�other)

(Spitting)

What�happens now,�Wayne?

You�start�walking�in this�direction,

or�you�start�running in�the�other�one.

Yeah?�You�going to�chase�me?

No.�You've�done what�you've�done.

And�if�you�want to�humiliate�yourself

right�here�in�front of�all�your�pals

by�not�taking�responsibility for�it�when�the�time's�come...

well,�that's enough�for�me.

And�what�if�we�just beat�the�shit�out�of�you

right�here and�right�now?

I'm�not�leaving�here�without some�sort�of�resolution.

I�came�to�work every�single�day,

and�I�poured�my�heart and�soul�into�that�job.

And�you�tell�me�I'm slowing�up�production

to�try�to�fire�me?

I�never�said I�was�firing�you.

I've�been�chore-ing 20�years!

Twenty�years,�and�no one's�ever�told�me

I�was�slowing up�production�in�my�life!

So�maybe�you�ought�to�take�a good,�hard�look�in�the�mirror,

do�some�thinking�about�which one�of�us�is�the�real�problem,

because�the�only�person�with an�issue�here...�is�you.

Youse�have�upset�a�lot of�people�in�town.

Yeah?�Well,�it's�a�good thing�I'm�from�upcountry.

But�in�spite�of all�that--

Despite.

-�Despite�what? -�Never�mind.

In�spite�of all�that,

I'm�going�to�give�you a�little�pass,

prove�to�you�I'm�not the�man�you�think�I�am!

So,�go. Go,�go,�go.

Gather�up�some�of your�pals,

and�when�youse�are�ready to�sort�this�out...

we'll�be right�here�waiting.

(Brendan�Canning�"Plugged�In")

��

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���Too�much�waiting...���

(Singing�indistinctly)

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���A�holiday���

���The�holidays���

���I�can�take���

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���Same���

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���As�me���

���Please�come�here���

(Singing�indistinctly)

���Words�keep�on�wanting���

���The�points�to���

���The�message���

���No�more�messages���

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���Fella���

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���Today�is�what...���

���Is�done���

���I�love�you���

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