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1
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,909
A�few�hockey�players�come
into�the�bar�the�other�day...
2
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,605
-�Le�boys.
-�Boys.
3
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,610
-�Boys.
-�Boys.
4
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,221
New�hockey�player�themed�menus.
5
00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:19,189
HOCKEY�PLAYERS:
Oh,�Bonnie�McMurray!
6
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,449
You�picked�the�right�day
for�Sandis�Ozolunch.
7
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,961
Ryan�Getzlunch�was
actually�Jonesy's�idea.
8
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,594
I'll�get�some�Water�Gretzky
for�the�table.
9
00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:27,085
Still�or�Guy�Carbonated?
10
00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:29,757
I'd�have�a�Corey�Perrier
and�Vladimir�So-vodka.
11
00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:31,056
Scotch�Stevens�for�me.
12
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:32,897
Jonesy?
Gary�Wetman�your�whistle?
13
00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:34,632
I�usually�go
for�the�Jaromir�Lager,
14
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,971
but�I�like�the�looks�of�this
Bloody�Marián�Hossa�special.
15
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,767
Comes�Kris�Letangy
with�Dill�Kessel,
16
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,805
garnished�with
Henrik�Sardine�and�Clam�Neely.
17
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,484
I�love�Brent�Seafood.
18
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:45,052
Wait�'til�I�tell�you
about�the�Matt�Marlin.
19
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,908
HOCKEY�PLAYERS:
Gail�Hawerchuk!
20
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:48,776
You�in�for�some
Henrik�Lunch-qvist?
21
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:52,745
And�to�think�we�almost�skipped
Mikael�Backlunch�altogether.
22
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,586
Good�thing�we�didn't
go�for�Nick�Suzushi.
23
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,392
This�is�shaping�up�to�be
the�Owen�Nolunch�of�our�lives.
24
00:00:57,424 --> 00:01:00,094
And�to�think�I�almost�just
gra.
25
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,096
I'm�ready�to�eat�that
Jake�Pretzel�off�the�floor.
26
00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:04,958
You�know,�I�started�my�way
with�a�Connor�McDanish.
27
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,728
Let's�order�your�James�Meals.
28
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:09,266
I�know�it's�hot�out,�but�I�could
go�for�a�Jonathan�Cheapsoup.
29
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:10,672
Like�a�Brian�Campbell's?
30
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,407
Gailer,�what's�your
soup�of�the�Damon�Severson?
31
00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:13,839
Roasted�Cal�Butternut.
32
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,337
How's�the�Ramen�Hamrlik?
33
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,008
Better�than�the�Tom�Yum�Wilson.
34
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:21,007
And�to�think�we�almost
just�went�for�Josh�Pho-Sang.
35
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,981
I'll�get�the�cheese�plate.
I'.
36
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:26,347
Ivan�Provolone's
the�real�highlight.
37
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:27,519
Comes�with�bread...
38
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:28,587
Josh�Naan'derson.
39
00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:29,961
Main�Shayne�courses?
40
00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:31,589
How's�the�Sloppy�Joe�Thornton?
41
00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:34,994
It's�got�Parme-Sean�Couturier
with�diced�Radish�Vrbata
42
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,458
and�Turnip�Stevenson.
43
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:38,826
And�to�think�we�were
just�going�to�whip�up
44
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:40,465
some�RJ�Umberger�Helper.
45
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,100
Can�you�tell�me�about�the�meat
in�your�beef�Stu�Barnes?
46
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:44,466
It's�Jaroslav�Halal.
47
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,374
I�was�hoping�for�some
Jake�DeBrisket.
48
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,379
Comes�with�Leon�Dry-Salad
and�there's�a�bean,�too,
49
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,682
um,�Kidney�Crosby.
50
00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:54,481
As�much�as�I�like
a�Sheldon�Soufflé,
51
00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,724
I'm�gonna�keep�it�simple,�go
with�the�Charlie�Mac'n�cheese.
52
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,023
It�comes�with�Tyson�Toast.
Anything�else?
53
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,722
Just�some�Matthew�Ketchup.
54
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,957
And�to�think�we�were�just
gon.
55
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:07,190
Speaking�of�beef�Stu�Barnes,
how's�the�Patrice�Bourguignon?
56
00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,327
Secret�ingredient
is�Dijon�Phaneuf.
57
00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:11,202
Comes�with�Cedric�Baguette,
58
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,571
but�I�should�have
some�Travis�Greens.
59
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,703
Mm,�Kale�Hunter.
60
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,235
Oh,�is�there�an�Aki�Berger?
61
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,073
We've�got�Grant�Fuhrgers.
62
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,709
We�could�also�do
an�Artemi�Panini
63
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,180
or�a�Sandwich�Ozolinsh.
64
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,408
Ham�Ward�subs�too.
65
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,406
Adam�Foot-long?
66
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,907
Or�a�Six-inch�Ozolinsh.
67
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,649
And�to�think,�we�were
just�going�to�crush
68
00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:30,521
some�Bagel�Bites�Battaglia?
69
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,150
Sort�desserts�now
or�are�youse�watching
70
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:33,985
your�weight�Belak's?
71
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,520
You�got�anything�like
a�Marc-André�McFlurry?
72
00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:38,656
Of�course.�Comes�with
Jonathan�Huber-cookie-dough.
73
00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:41,531
We've�also�got�Tyson�Blue-Barrie
and�James�Kiwiznewski.
74
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:44,231
Mm,�should�we�get
chocolate�fondue�Koivu?
75
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,874
I've�got�some�Joe
Nieuwen-Klondike�bars
76
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,499
in�the�freezer.
77
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,344
For�me�it'll�be�the�Pie�Domi
with�Caramel�Nurse.
78
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:52,439
Alright,�but�looking�at
your�waistlines
79
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,705
I'd�consider
the�Anthony�Deangelato.
80
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,012
Yeah.
81
00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:59,413
Solid�menu,�Gailer�Hall.
82
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:00,675
Thanks,�Bon�Tugnutt.
83
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,723
Say,�who's�your�favourite
player?
84
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:05,049
Gabriel�Longestcock.
85
00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:05,124
��
86
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:16,562
Stewart-Stewart!
87
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:18,567
What's�Gucci?
88
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:19,898
Tibadoo's�dog's�lost.
89
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,903
And�what's�he
Tiba-doing�about�it?
90
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,966
Oh,�shut�the�fuck�up.
91
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,608
He's�not�Tiba-doing
anything.
92
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:27,739
(Gasping)
93
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,114
He'll�just�Tiba-do�without�it.
94
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:30,112
What?!
95
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,443
Do�you�wanna�know�what?
96
00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:33,207
It's�kinda�what�a�lot
of�country�folk�are�like.
97
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:34,746
They�just�open
the�door�in�the�morning,
98
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,781
let�the�dog�out�for�the�day,
open�it�up�again�at�night,
99
00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:38,246
and�if�it's�not�there,
well,�fuckin'--
100
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:39,254
Tough�sleddin'.
101
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:40,315
That's�how�I�was�raised.
102
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:42,556
Fucks�youse,�Tibadoos.
103
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,119
KATY:�It's�kind�of
double�trouble�here�though.
104
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:46,327
It�was�Jivin's�dog�first,
it�ran�away�from�him,
105
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,992
and�he�gave�up�on�it.
106
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,901
There's�Jivin
fuckin'�up�again.
107
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:52,229
And�then�Tibadoo�found�it,
it�ran�away�from�him,
108
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:53,325
and�he�gave�up�on�it.
109
00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,169
What�if�it's�hurt�somewhere?
110
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,395
You�know,
if�that�dog�came�back,
111
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:57,966
he�probably�wouldn't
even�take�it�to�the�vet.
112
00:03:58,004 --> 00:03:59,474
Nope,�just�wrap�it
in�a�blanket,
113
00:03:59,505 --> 00:04:01,605
put�it�in�front�of
a�fire�for�a�few�days.
114
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:03,841
They're�well-meaning�folks,
but�a�bit�redneck.
115
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,080
Fucks�youse,�Tibadoos.
116
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:09,282
I�ask�again,
what�if�it�is�hurt�somewhere?
117
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,945
We'll�find�it.
118
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,794
Found�more�than�a�few
runaways�during�my�time�doing
119
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,089
pit�bull�rescue�in
Vancouv.
120
00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:17,321
You're�a�great�gal,�Rosie.
121
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:18,317
Yeah.
122
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,358
And...�we've�got�Glen.
123
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:21,486
Glen?
124
00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:31,537
��
125
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:37,135
Glen.
126
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:39,206
Roald.�Daniel.
127
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,879
Rosie.�Katy.�Stewart.
128
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:45,488
Wayne!
As�I'm�sure�you�all�know,
129
00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:49,188
I�added�dog-trapping�to�my
wildly�impressive�skillsets
130
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,962
at�the�age�of�17,
whilst�doing�missionary�work
131
00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:53,661
in�Puerto�Escondido.
132
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:55,303
I�didn't�knows�that.
133
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:56,658
It's�in�his�Twitter�bio.
134
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,056
Twitter�is�a�cult.
135
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,301
Well,�don't�you�remember
when�Glen�was�written�up
136
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:01,833
in�The�Banner�for
finding�that�beagle?
137
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,568
Oof,�beagles�go�bucky.
138
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,406
Super�tough�to�find�because
they're�trying�to�get�lost.
139
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:08,541
I�caught�him�swimming�island
to.
140
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:09,884
They�get�a�scent
and�they're�gone.
141
00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:12,349
-�Sounds�familiar.
-�Silly�fuckin'�hounds.
142
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:13,808
High�survival�rate�however.
143
00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:16,516
So,�Glen�Close.
144
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:18,689
How�are�you
going�to�find�it!
145
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,688
First�things�first.
146
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,320
The�lost�dog.
147
00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:25,255
A�three-year�old�Nova�Scotia
Duck�Toller�Retriever.
148
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,485
(gasping)
Just�a�little�boo.
149
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:28,657
Oh!�Is�he�a�good�boy?
150
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:29,725
He�is�such�a�boy.
151
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:32,402
How�long's�the�boy�been�lost?
152
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:34,902
Well,�he�might�identify�as
a�s.
153
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,344
Five�days.
154
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:37,939
I�wasn't�finished
virtue�signaling,�Glen.
155
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,574
-�Roald.
-�Name?
156
00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,405
-�Gregory.
-�(Giggling)
157
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:42,611
Is�it�fuckin'�really?
158
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,205
Thou�shalt�not�lie,�Wayne!
159
00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:46,353
You're�not�supposed�to
give�dogs�human�names.
160
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,849
Imagine�trying�to
call�him�at�a�dog�park?
161
00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:52,791
(Laughing)
No,�Gregory!�Bad�dog,�Gregory.
162
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,092
Oh!�Sad�dog,�Gregory.
163
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,560
We�will�not�be�using�his�name.
164
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,089
Fuckin'�eh.
165
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,134
Once�a�dog�has�been
in�the�wild�for�that�long,
166
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,063
their�brain�undergoes
a�chemical�change
167
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,295
called�Missing�Dog�Syndrome,
168
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,533
basically�fight
or�flight�mode.
169
00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:08,425
So,�when�we�encounter�him,
do�not�use�his�name.
170
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,038
It�might�trigger�him
to�run�away!
171
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:12,269
Whys�isn't�Tibadoos
outs�looks-in'�for�him?
172
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,535
Same�reason�Jivin�wasn't.
173
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,113
Yeah,�he's�a�fuckin'�degen.
174
00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:18,081
There's�only�a�3%�chance
a�dog�will�go�to�their�owner
175
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,981
after�entering
Missing�Dog�Syndrome.
176
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,746
(Scoffing)
So�it's�a�moot�point.
177
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,321
Who�the�fuck�are�you?
178
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,323
Also,�we�should�probably
track�him�in�smaller�groups.
179
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,886
A�large�pack�might�spook�him.
180
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,390
Girls�rule,�boys�drool?
181
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:30,992
Don't�threaten�me
with�a�good�time.
182
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,457
Well,�I'll�go�with�you,
good�buddy.
183
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:36,262
Wh--�Good�buddy?�Wayne!
184
00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:38,295
Well,�whats�abouts�me's?
185
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,571
You're�too�emotional�to�track,
Squirrely�Dan.
186
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,900
That�energy's�not�good
for�a.
187
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:45,295
I�am�not�emotionals!
188
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:46,738
We'll�consult�a�psychic.
189
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:47,743
What?
190
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:48,744
To�find�the�dog.
191
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,235
A�psychic?
192
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:53,076
Listen.
When�I�was�a�young�skid,
193
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:55,852
my�parents,
they�owned�a�Chow�Chow�named
194
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,415
Tatiana�Pamplemousse,
and�I�know�I�seem�like
195
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,121
I've�been�a�bit�emotional
throughout�all�this,
196
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,323
but�that's�just�because�Tatiana
went�missing�one�evening--
197
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:03,785
-�Doesn't�matter.
-�Anyhoo.
198
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:04,963
Let's�go�up�Wallace�way.
199
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:06,131
KATY:�I'll�take�Eaton�way.
200
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,989
-�WAYNE:�I�need�fuel.
-�ROSIE:�West�end?
201
00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:09,327
WAYNE:
Oh,�Bender's�is�cheaper.
202
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,102
(Whimpering)
Free�beer.
203
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,665
Mr.�Dan?
204
00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:21,968
My--�My�sweeties�Ellens
reads�tea�leaves.
205
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:25,548
That's--�That's�kinds�of
likes�a�psychics?
206
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:30,221
(Both�giggling�maniacally)
207
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,653
Alright.
208
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,054
I�guess�I'll�drive.
209
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,219
Can't�believe
we�got�stood�up,�buddy.
210
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,288
I've�never�been
stood�up�in�my�life,�bro.
211
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:38,863
Stood�up�for�a�gym�date,
no�less.
212
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,691
See,�bro,
now�we'll�never�know.
213
00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:42,396
About�their�gym�styles?
214
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,402
No,�about�their�steez,�buddy.
We'll�never�know!
215
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,304
Like,�what's�your
favourite�steez?
216
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:47,632
Hm.�Oh.
217
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,237
I�like�that�steez,�buddy.
218
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,412
Ooh,�I�like�that�steez.
219
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,412
Oh,�love�that�steez,�bro.
(Chuckling)
220
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,475
Aw,�that's�good�steez,�too.
221
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:59,380
Hi,�Tassie!
222
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:00,382
Hey,�Cassie!
223
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,753
-�I'm�Cassie.
-�I'm�Tassie.
224
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,224
Yeah,�we'll�get�'er.
225
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,920
If�she's�Tassie�steez,
all�is�forgiven,�buddy.
226
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,486
All�is�forgiven
if�she's�Cassie�steez,
227
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,362
but�we'll�never�know,�bro!
228
00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:12,930
We'll�never�know
now,�buddy.
229
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,732
-�WOMAN�1:�Reilly?
-�WOMAN�2:�Jonesy?
230
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,260
-�Hey,�I'm�April.
-�May.
231
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,429
Sorry�we're�late.
232
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,697
That's�okay.
233
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,201
No,�it's�not,
it's�tacky.
234
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,203
BOTH:�Yeah.
235
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,604
But�we're�here�now.
236
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,498
BOTH:�Yeah.
237
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:27,367
Wait.�No,�we�have
beer�league�now,�buddy.
238
00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:29,106
Oh.�Hundy�P.
239
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,575
We�waited�all�afternoon.
240
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:31,780
Completely�my�fault.
241
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:32,784
May�was�on�time--
242
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,105
-�April.
-�May?
243
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,850
-�April.
-�May.
244
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:37,522
It's�not�your�fault
your�little�brother�came�home
245
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,190
late�with�the�car.
246
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:40,618
-�You're�right.
-�I�know.
247
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,893
So,�um,�we're�here�now?
248
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:48,085
Yeah,�but�we�got
beer�league�now�though.
249
00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:49,297
So,�skip�it?
250
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,962
BOTH:
We're�not�skipping�hockey.
251
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,531
Then�we'll�come�watch
you�play.
252
00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:57,396
(Both�laughing)
253
00:08:57,436 --> 00:09:00,066
Okay.
254
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:02,406
You�don't�bring�your�sweetie
to�your�beer�league�game.
255
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:03,481
Well,�why�not?
256
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,113
Usually�there's�only�one
clueless�guy
257
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:07,084
that'll�bring�his�sweetie�to
his�beer�league�game,
258
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,153
and�that�means�there's
one�lone�rocket�sitting�solo
259
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,875
in�the�stands,�and�if�that
clu,
260
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:14,448
then�I'm�finding�out�who
that�guy�is�on�the�other�team,
261
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,257
and�I'm�chirping
that�guy�all�night.
262
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,919
See,�I'll�know
who�the�clueless�guy�is
263
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:20,087
half�way�through�warm-up,
and�I'll�be�getting
264
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,786
right�in�his�kitchen
all�night�long.
265
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:24,257
-�Are�you�serious?
-�I�think�they're�serious.
266
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,597
-�You�guys�are�rockets.
-�NASA�certified.
267
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,972
-�Aggressive�boost�gliders.
-�Exhaust�velocity.
268
00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:31,441
-�Ballistic�missiles.
-�Thrust�equalizers.
269
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:32,810
Unrestricted�burners.
270
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:34,738
Static�tested,
staged�in�orbit.
271
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,284
BOTH:�Huh.
272
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,309
But�there's�no�way�we'd�put
a�.
273
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:39,454
Rain�check?
274
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:40,608
No�time,�buddy.
We�gotta�go.
275
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:42,176
Rain�check!�Love�your�steez!
276
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,478
Love�the�steez,�snipees!
277
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:46,086
(Scoffing)
278
00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,118
April?
279
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,693
May?
280
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,094
April.
281
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:51,822
May.
282
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:53,427
We�just�got�ditched.
283
00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:55,289
I've�never�been
ditched�a�day�in�my�life.
284
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,958
BOTH:�Huh.
285
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,373
Tommy�Bahama
lookin'�motherfucker.
286
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,095
Mine�looks�like�a�toe.
287
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,436
What�sort�of�botched�birth�canal
did�that�mole�roll�out�of?
288
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:08,812
Monkfish,�hagfish,�flightless
dung�beetle�lookin'�mutt.
289
00:10:08,841 --> 00:10:10,281
Fuckin'�hockey�players.
290
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:11,839
You�know,�dudes�like�that
spend�the�entire�game
291
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:13,477
looking�at�their�reflection
in�the�glass.
292
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:15,452
Dudes�like�that
go�tongue�out.
293
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,651
We�drove�all�the�way
from�the�city�for�this?
294
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:22,015
We�have�to�make�this�trip�worth
a�tank�of�gas,�am�I�right?
295
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:23,224
Bring�a�back-up�ensemble?
296
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,219
A�couple.�You?
297
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,561
My�car�is�my�closet,�lovely.
298
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,197
Oh.�Hey,�Tassie!
299
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:30,228
Hey�Cassie!
300
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,356
I'm�Tassie.
301
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:32,397
I'm�Cassie.
302
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,626
You�sure?
303
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,136
GLEN:�Now,�a�Duck�Toller
doest
304
00:10:39,171 --> 00:10:41,371
of�say�a�Shepherd
or�a�Shar�Pei.
305
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:43,477
But�he'll�sure�as�shit
be�preyed�upon.
306
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,909
Breed's�not�a�big�roamer,
fortunately.
307
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,408
Unlike�fuckin'�beagles.
308
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,350
Is�it�true�that
purebreds�are�more�likely
309
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,722
to�get�stolen�than�mutts?
310
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,050
Texas�sized�10-4.
311
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:53,694
I�hope�someone
didn't�scoop�Gregory�up
312
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:54,989
and�start�whoring�him�out.
313
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,521
Fuckin'�Gregory.
314
00:10:56,555 --> 00:10:58,915
You're�not�supposed�to
give�dogs�human�names.
315
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,091
Well,�if�he's�three,
his�pills�should�be�long�gone.
316
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,760
Not�a�safe�assumption
if�yo.
317
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,729
Most�lost�or�spooked�dogs�will
have�a�three
318
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:09,035
to�seven�kilometer�range,
though�some�will�get�up�to�18.
319
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:11,568
They'll�often�centre�around
their�last�known�place,
320
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,444
even�if�something�traumatic
happened�like�gettin'�dinged.
321
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,007
Dogs�will�follow�barriers.
322
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:17,412
Edges�of�the�bush.
323
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:18,413
Fence�lines.
324
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:20,584
Dogs�circle�before�laying�down.
325
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:23,023
So�watch�for�patches
of�flattened�down�grass
326
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,579
in�a�twisted�pattern.
327
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,717
This'd�be�a�lot�harder
for�the�dog�in�the�winter,
328
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:28,752
but�it'd�be�a�lot�easier�for�us.
329
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:31,758
Fun�fact,�dogs�will�often
go�where�horses�are�kept.
330
00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:33,561
What�if�the�weather�gets�bad?
331
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,362
They'll�seek�shelter�from
the�wind�behind�something
332
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:37,264
rather�than�crawl
under�something.
333
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:40,426
He'll�roam�'til�it�gets�really
bad�before�finding�shelter.
334
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:42,696
Dogs�can�sense�weather
before�it�shows�up.
335
00:11:42,735 --> 00:11:44,865
Is�it�true�that�dogs
can�sense�earthquakes?
336
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:47,214
Yeah,�'cause�Gus�slept
throu.
337
00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:48,909
-�Did�he�really?
-�Is�that�right?
338
00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:50,981
Pooped�in�the�bed
a�wee�bit�later�though.
339
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,283
Did�he�really?
340
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:53,751
Is�that�right?
341
00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:57,649
Yup,�which�ultimately
became�breakfast�in�bed.
342
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:58,717
Yup.
343
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:00,922
So...
344
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:02,293
Not�all�of�it,�Roald.
345
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:04,961
Leave�about�a�teaspoon
in�the�bottom.
346
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:07,060
It's�okay.
Now�turn�it.
347
00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,402
Rotate�it�three�times.
348
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,000
And�make�a�wish.
349
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:19,169
(Scoffing)
Roald.
350
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,068
We's�all�wishin'
for�the�same�things.
351
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:22,677
That's�why�we
called�youse,�Ellens.
352
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,282
Wish�you'd�come�more�often,�Dan.
353
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:27,110
SKIDS:�(whispering)
Sex,�sex,�sex,�sex,�sex.
354
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:28,576
-�Butt�sex.
-�Butt�sex.
355
00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:33,452
Do�you�want�me�to�tell�you
th?
356
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,986
(Roald�squealing)
357
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:37,660
Dogs�will�go�to�horses,
you�know.
358
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,090
You�takes�the�goods
with�the�bads.
359
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,925
Such�is�lifes.
360
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,500
Okay.
361
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:45,128
What�I'm�doing�now�is
examining�the�tea�leaves
362
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:49,274
for�any�shapes
that�may�jump�out.
363
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:52,001
Any�numbers,�letters...
364
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:53,607
starting�at�the�handle,
365
00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:56,279
and�moving�clockwise
around�the�cup.
366
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:58,783
STEWART:�'Kay.
367
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,179
It�looks�like�Gregory�is�hurt.
368
00:13:02,214 --> 00:13:03,354
(Gasping)
What?!
369
00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:04,882
I�can't�tell�if�he�still�is,
370
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:08,190
but�I�see�the�letter�T.
371
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,623
Tibadoo.
372
00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:14,158
He�isn't�moving.
373
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:15,633
BOYS:
What?
374
00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:18,831
He's�not�dead,
he's�just�not�moving.
375
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,634
And�then?
376
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:25,136
I�get�the�sense�that
he's...�confined�somehow.
377
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:28,541
I�see�the�letter�D.
378
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,744
Degens�from�upcountries?
379
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,850
I�see�an�A.
380
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:35,648
(Whispering)
Aliens?
381
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:38,151
And�I�see�an�N.
382
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,724
Wait.
383
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:43,162
D-A-N?
384
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:44,419
That's�my�names.
385
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:50,104
Well,�it�could�also--
386
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:51,762
could�also�spell�"Nad".
387
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:56,000
-�Yeah.
-�Yeah,�okay.
388
00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:57,435
Do�you�think�this
looks�like�a�dick?
389
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:03,842
(Players�hooting�and�hollering)
390
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:13,886
��
391
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,531
���Tear�the�roof�up,�baby,���
392
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,899
���Don't�give�a�shit
how�it's�done���
393
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:26,628
SHORESY:�What�fucking
clueless�pieces�of�shit
394
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,239
brought�their�broads�to
watch�'em�play�beer�league?
395
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:30,238
(Knocking)
396
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:31,869
-�Reilly!
-�Jonesy!
397
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:33,474
Thank�you�for�inviting
us�to�watch�you�play
398
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,869
-�beer�league,�babe.
-�Yeah,�thank�you.
399
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,277
Thank�you.
400
00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,108
We�know�how�much�you
love�beer�league,�babe.
401
00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:40,253
We�know�how�seriously�you�take
y.
402
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,249
We're�just�gonna�be
your�lil'�cheerleaders!
403
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:44,151
-�Score�me�a�goal!
-�Love�ya,�babe!
404
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,316
APRIL:
Have�fun!
405
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:49,790
Where�the�fuck�did�he�go?
406
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:53,092
Gonna�be�a�long�night,
you�fuckin�losers!
407
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,097
I�hope�he�didn't�get�dinged.
408
00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:58,659
Statistically,
getting�dinged�by�a�car
409
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,901
will�happen�when
the�dog�first�gets�lost.
410
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,473
Slim�chance�it�will
happen�in�the�days�after.
411
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:05,341
Dogs�most�often�travel�in�a
linear�pattern,
412
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,774
back�and�forth.
413
00:15:06,805 --> 00:15:08,465
Quarries�are�another
good�place�to�look.
414
00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:09,577
Shelter�from�the�wind.
415
00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:11,308
Bonus�if�there's�a�water�source.
416
00:15:11,343 --> 00:15:13,613
They�need�time�to�calm�after
Lost�Dog�Syndrome�kicks�in.
417
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:14,946
They�need�time
to�get�desperate
418
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,520
before�they'll
seek�out�civilization.
419
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:19,182
Okay,�this�is�important.
420
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,121
If�we�see�Gregory,
don't�say�his�name
421
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:22,453
the�way�he's�used�to�hearing�it.
422
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,588
His�name�is�now
a�trigger�to�run.
423
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:27,533
What�you�wanna�do�is
kneel�down�without�facing�him.
424
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,363
But�keep�him�in
your�peripheral�vision.
425
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,828
Almost�like�you're�facing
another�dog�that�isn't�there.
426
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,174
And�you�want�to�use�words
Gregory�knows,�like�walk.
427
00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:35,869
-�Treat.
-�It'll�also�be�beneficial
428
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,835
to�have�some�treats�on�your
person.
429
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,440
'Kay,�back�to�saying
Gregory's�name�in�a�way
430
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:42,112
that�he�doesn't�usually�hear.
431
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:43,141
It�helps�to�sing�it.
432
00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:44,805
-�Sing�it?
-�Yup.
433
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:47,183
-�Sing�Gregory?
-�Make�it�sing-songy.
434
00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:48,612
Well,�imagine�Tibadoo's
at�the�back�door
435
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:50,447
hollerin'�and�telling�him�it's
time�to�come�for�supper,
436
00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:51,952
he'd�probably�say
something�like:�Gregory!
437
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:53,354
BOTH:�(Sternly)
Gregory!
438
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:55,015
-�Gregory!
-�Right?
439
00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,724
So,�you�want�to�give�each
syllable�a�different�tone.
440
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:57,959
Shake�things�up�a�little.
441
00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,790
-�Make�it�sing-songy.
-�Try�it.
442
00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:01,555
-�You�try�it.
-�Try�it.
443
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,027
You�try�it.
444
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:06,226
(Glen�&�Rosie
clearing�their�throats)
445
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:10,298
BOTH:�(Singing)
Gregory.
446
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:11,896
GLEN:
���Gregory���
447
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,741
ROSIE:
���Gregory���
448
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,636
���Gregory,�Gregory���
449
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:20,705
���Gregory���
450
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:22,476
(speaking�flatly)
Gregory.
451
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:24,724
(Sighing)�You're�not�supposed
to�give�dogs�human�names.
452
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,320
Ooh,�look�over�there.
453
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:28,552
Some�flattened�down�grass
in�a�twisted�pattern.
454
00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:29,817
Sheltered�from�the�wind.
455
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:30,915
Close�to�a�fence�line.
456
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,560
-�And�look...
-�(Neighing)
457
00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:34,331
Horses.
458
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,400
Oh.
459
00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:39,568
SHORESY:�Whole�rink's�laughin'
.
460
00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:41,028
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
461
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:42,896
SHORESY:�Fuck�you,�Reilly.
I�haven't�laughed�this�hard
462
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,065
since�your�mom�queefed�out
her�birthday�candles.
463
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:46,614
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
464
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,212
Fuck�you,�Jonesy.
I�haven't�laughed�this�hard
465
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,210
since�your�mom
cleared�out�Denny's�at�3:00�am
466
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:51,842
with�her�coke�farts.
467
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:54,347
(Whistle�blowing)�Fuck,�boys,�I
.
468
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:57,520
-�What's�that�Gap�Dream?
-�Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
469
00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:59,719
Fuck�you,�Reilly.�I'm�only
asking�so�I�can�help�your�mum.
470
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,252
Her�ginger�mitt's
so�rotten�I�call�it
471
00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:03,016
Anne�of�Gangrene�Gables.
Sticks�in.
472
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:04,355
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
473
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,130
SHORESY:�Fuck�you,�Jonesy.
Anything's�better�than
474
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,731
your�mom's�spoiled�oyster�stank.
475
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:08,890
(Whistle�blowing)
476
00:17:08,927 --> 00:17:10,957
(Grunting)
Fuck,�Shoresy!
477
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,630
Fuck's�sake,�Reilly.
478
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,268
How�do�you�get�'em�to
sit�still�like�that?
479
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:15,969
I�can't�take
your�mum�fucking�anywhere.
480
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,565
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
481
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,873
Yeah,�fuck�you,�Reilly.
Your�mom�hand�bombed�herself
482
00:17:19,905 --> 00:17:22,135
at�our�picnic�at�the�beach
andf
483
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,137
of�squirt�into�the�water
like�sea�levels
484
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:25,739
aren't�rising
at�an�alarming�rate.
485
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,278
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
486
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:28,752
SHORESY:
Fuck�you,�Jonesy.
487
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,651
Your�mom�gave�me�an�over-
the-pants�handy�at�the�mall
488
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,446
and�then�cried
when�I�cleaned�myself�up
489
00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:34,494
with�the�racy�top
she�got�at�Sirens.
490
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:35,893
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
491
00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,491
Fuck�you,�you�piece�of�shit.
(Whistle�blowing)
492
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,303
(Whistle�blowing)
493
00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:46,128
Fuck,�I�wish�they'd�just
go�back�to�the�city,�buddy.
494
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:49,325
SHORESY:�Hey,�Reilly,�speaking
r
495
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:51,271
in�the�city�was�a�rough�trip
never�wandered�from
496
00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:52,913
your�mom's�mitt
to�her�butthole.
497
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,338
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
498
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:55,836
I�swear,�if�you�weren't
a�fucking�ref,�I'd--
499
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,178
SHORESY:�Fuck�you,�Jonesy.
I�swear�if�your�mom�fills
500
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,413
my�bedroom�with�any�more�squirt
I'm�going�to�need�to�rent
501
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:02,816
a�water�taxi�to�get
out�of.
502
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:05,618
Fuck�you,�Shoresy,
and�fuc.
503
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:07,651
I'm�out,�too.�Ninja�dust,�bro.
504
00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:11,785
SHORESY:�Well,�fuck�it,
dibs�on�digies,�boys.
505
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:14,994
Hey,�you�guys�wanna�get�some
Thai�style�chow�mein,�or...
506
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,527
��
507
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:18,656
D.
508
00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:19,667
An�A.
509
00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:21,268
And�an�N.
510
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,500
There's�lots�of�guys
in�Letterkennys�named�Dan.
511
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:25,335
ELLEN:�It�could�be�"Nad".
512
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:27,940
You�know,�a�few�of�those�guys
even�shares�my�last�names.
513
00:18:27,973 --> 00:18:29,543
I�thought�your
last�name�was�Dan.
514
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,608
(Scoffing)
Dan�is�a�first�name.
515
00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:36,184
What�did�you�think
my�first�name�was?
516
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:37,175
Squirrelly.
517
00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:38,176
(Phone�vibrating)
518
00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:39,687
Oh,�hold�on.
519
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:41,988
(Phone�vibrating)
520
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:45,020
Squirrelly�Daniel's�phone,
Squirrely�Daniel�speakings.
521
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:48,187
Uh-huh?�Oh,�terrific.
522
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:49,997
Oh,�good�news.
523
00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:51,228
Toodle-oo.
524
00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:00,307
Oh,�they�found�Gregory.
525
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:04,384
NOAH:�We�first�saw�him
running�the�fence�line
526
00:19:04,409 --> 00:19:05,839
where�the�horses�are�kept.
527
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,578
Yes�and�then�he�came�back
later�that�afternoon
528
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,476
when�we�were
installing�the�swing.
529
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,245
Ah!�I�hadn't�mentioned.
We're...�swingers�now.
530
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,546
Oh.
531
00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:15,715
A�large�portion�of�our
community�enjoys�swinging.
532
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:17,424
Mainly�the�children,
traditionally,
533
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:21,029
but�recently�we've�joined
a�n.
534
00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:22,689
We've�swung�with
each�other's�parents�once.
535
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,258
How's�the�dog?
536
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:27,099
Oh,�he�was�barely�conscious
when�he�first�wandered�over.
537
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,026
Eyes�barely�open.
Just�little�slits.
538
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:30,667
The�tightest�little�slits.
539
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:32,542
As�he�was�losing�consciousness
I�began�jerking�him
540
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:33,541
to�keep�him�up.
541
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:34,942
Two�hands�at�one�point.
542
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,207
He�had�a�fairly�serious
gash�on�his�side,�once.
543
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:38,782
Clash�with�a�coyote,�no�doubt.
544
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,554
Well,�if�you�fight�one,
you�fight�a�bunch�of�'em.
545
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:43,020
I�was�able�to�patch�him�up,
546
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:45,048
but�it�took�a�lot�of
tender�love�and�care.
547
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,593
Let's�just�say
I've�had�my�face�in�gash
548
00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:47,918
for�the�better�part
of�three�days.
549
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:49,023
Face�and�fingers,�once.
550
00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:50,764
I�swiftly�retrieved�my�scissors
551
00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:53,089
and�crafted
a�bandage�for�the�gash.
552
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,285
No�one�scissors�like�mine�wife.
553
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,960
Well,�our�daughters
scissor�quite�skillfully.
554
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,630
Now,�credit�where�it's�due.
555
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,398
Our�daughters�learned
to�scissor�from�their�mother.
556
00:20:02,434 --> 00:20:03,874
Teaching�our�daughters
to�scissor
557
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:06,642
has�been�one�of�the�great�joys
of�my�life.
558
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,105
Look�at�me.
559
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,110
I�get�wet�just
thinking�about�it.
560
00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:11,712
A�D�for�Dyck.
561
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:13,153
An�A�for�Anita.
562
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,782
And�Ns�for�Noahs.
563
00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:16,823
And�the�tea�leaves�were
in�the�shape�of�a�dick!
564
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,382
Where's�he�now,�Anita?
565
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,617
Is�he�confined?
566
00:20:20,652 --> 00:20:22,552
We�wrapped�him�in�a�blanket
567
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:23,958
and�laid�him�by
a�fire,�once.
568
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:27,159
Well-meaning�folks,
just�a�wee�bit�redneck.
569
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,286
The�children�have�taken
quite�a�fondness�to�Sunshine.
570
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,928
(Gasping)
Sunshine?
571
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,933
Yes.�The�name�we've�given�him,
if�only�temporarily.
572
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,065
We�thought�of�calling�him
Monster�for�the�sickness
573
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,070
living�inside�of�him.
574
00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:37,341
Monster�Dyck.
575
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:38,772
And�he�was�so�thin
when�he�first�arrived
576
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:40,244
we�thought�of
calling�him�Pencil.
577
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:41,442
Pencil�Dyck.
578
00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:42,673
We�even�considered
naming�him�after
579
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:43,841
Noah's�late�grandmother,
580
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,079
Sarah�Theresa�Dyck.
581
00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:46,650
STD�for�short.
582
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:49,148
SKIDS:�(whispering)�Discharge,
.
583
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,781
But�at�last�we�settled�on--
584
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:51,776
But�his�name�is--
585
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,317
Sunshine.
586
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:55,792
You're�not�supposed�to
give�dogs�human�names.
587
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,261
We'll�be�sad�to�see�him�go.
588
00:20:58,523 --> 00:21:01,133
I�assume�ye's�are�here
to�take�him�back,
589
00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:02,689
return�him�to�his�true�master?
590
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:06,771
(All�muttering)
591
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,171
Alright,�okay.�Fine.
It�looks�like�we�agree!
592
00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,044
How�would�youse
like�to�keep�him?
593
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,709
Now,�mine�wife,
you�know�on�Mennonite�farms
594
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,678
animals�fulfil
only�two�functions.
595
00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:23,553
T'work�and�t'eat.
596
00:21:23,615 --> 00:21:25,875
But�Sunshine
is�still�healing.
597
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:28,891
���Sittin'�on�the�edge
atop�a�canyon���
598
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,224
Joyful�wife,�joyful�life.
599
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,460
Alright,�then.
600
00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:34,631
(Clapping)
601
00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:37,400
He�can�stay.�We'll�continue
to�tend�to�him�day�to�day.
602
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,802
I'm�surprised�that�mine�wife
didn't�become�a�doctor,
603
00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:42,401
for�it�would�seem�as�though
she�can't�resist�an�open�gash.
604
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,240
My�husband�knew�I�was�many
things�when�he�married�me,
605
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,336
but�I�can�assure�you,
606
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:50,013
a�gash�lover�was
not�one�of�them.
607
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:52,512
It's�true!
608
00:21:52,544 --> 00:21:54,414
(Both�laughing)
609
00:21:56,214 --> 00:22:00,224
(Both�laughing�hysterically)
610
00:22:01,586 --> 00:22:05,156
���...become�afraid
and�watch�it�go���
611
00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:06,555
���And�the�day�is�long���
612
00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:15,534
���And�the�bridge
is�gone���
613
00:22:17,436 --> 00:22:21,836
���And�the�river's
washed�away...���
614
00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:25,838
���The�road�I'm�on���
615
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:32,780
���Only�road�I�know���
616
00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:42,058
��
617
00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:46,528
���Everybody's�got
a�problem���
618
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:51,537
���Something�to�do
with�self-control���
619
00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:55,435
���You�gotta�tell�somebody���
620
00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:57,244
���If�you�got�one���
621
00:22:58,643 --> 00:23:00,583
���You�can't�pretend
you�didn't�know���
622
00:23:00,633 --> 00:23:05,183
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