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A�few�hockey�players�come into�the�bar�the�other�day...
-�Le�boys. -�Boys.
-�Boys. -�Boys.
New�hockey�player�themed�menus.
HOCKEY�PLAYERS: Oh,�Bonnie�McMurray!
You�picked�the�right�day for�Sandis�Ozolunch.
Ryan�Getzlunch�was actually�Jonesy's�idea.
I'll�get�some�Water�Gretzky for�the�table.
Still�or�Guy�Carbonated?
I'd�have�a�Corey�Perrier and�Vladimir�So-vodka.
Scotch�Stevens�for�me.
Jonesy? Gary�Wetman�your�whistle?
I�usually�go for�the�Jaromir�Lager,
but�I�like�the�looks�of�this Bloody�Marián�Hossa�special.
Comes�Kris�Letangy with�Dill�Kessel,
garnished�with Henrik�Sardine�and�Clam�Neely.
I�love�Brent�Seafood.
Wait�'til�I�tell�you about�the�Matt�Marlin.
HOCKEY�PLAYERS: Gail�Hawerchuk!
You�in�for�some Henrik�Lunch-qvist?
And�to�think�we�almost�skipped Mikael�Backlunch�altogether.
Good�thing�we�didn't go�for�Nick�Suzushi.
This�is�shaping�up�to�be the�Owen�Nolunch�of�our�lives.
And�to�think�I�almost�just gra.
I'm�ready�to�eat�that Jake�Pretzel�off�the�floor.
You�know,�I�started�my�way with�a�Connor�McDanish.
Let's�order�your�James�Meals.
I�know�it's�hot�out,�but�I�could go�for�a�Jonathan�Cheapsoup.
Like�a�Brian�Campbell's?
Gailer,�what's�your soup�of�the�Damon�Severson?
Roasted�Cal�Butternut.
How's�the�Ramen�Hamrlik?
Better�than�the�Tom�Yum�Wilson.
And�to�think�we�almost just�went�for�Josh�Pho-Sang.
I'll�get�the�cheese�plate. I'.
Ivan�Provolone's the�real�highlight.
Comes�with�bread...
Josh�Naan'derson.
Main�Shayne�courses?
How's�the�Sloppy�Joe�Thornton?
It's�got�Parme-Sean�Couturier with�diced�Radish�Vrbata
and�Turnip�Stevenson.
And�to�think�we�were just�going�to�whip�up
some�RJ�Umberger�Helper.
Can�you�tell�me�about�the�meat in�your�beef�Stu�Barnes?
It's�Jaroslav�Halal.
I�was�hoping�for�some Jake�DeBrisket.
Comes�with�Leon�Dry-Salad and�there's�a�bean,�too,
um,�Kidney�Crosby.
As�much�as�I�like a�Sheldon�Soufflé,
I'm�gonna�keep�it�simple,�go with�the�Charlie�Mac'n�cheese.
It�comes�with�Tyson�Toast. Anything�else?
Just�some�Matthew�Ketchup.
And�to�think�we�were�just gon.
Speaking�of�beef�Stu�Barnes, how's�the�Patrice�Bourguignon?
Secret�ingredient is�Dijon�Phaneuf.
Comes�with�Cedric�Baguette,
but�I�should�have some�Travis�Greens.
Mm,�Kale�Hunter.
Oh,�is�there�an�Aki�Berger?
We've�got�Grant�Fuhrgers.
We�could�also�do an�Artemi�Panini
or�a�Sandwich�Ozolinsh.
Ham�Ward�subs�too.
Adam�Foot-long?
Or�a�Six-inch�Ozolinsh.
And�to�think,�we�were just�going�to�crush
some�Bagel�Bites�Battaglia?
Sort�desserts�now or�are�youse�watching
your�weight�Belak's?
You�got�anything�like a�Marc-André�McFlurry?
Of�course.�Comes�with Jonathan�Huber-cookie-dough.
We've�also�got�Tyson�Blue-Barrie and�James�Kiwiznewski.
Mm,�should�we�get chocolate�fondue�Koivu?
I've�got�some�Joe Nieuwen-Klondike�bars
in�the�freezer.
For�me�it'll�be�the�Pie�Domi with�Caramel�Nurse.
Alright,�but�looking�at your�waistlines
I'd�consider the�Anthony�Deangelato.
Yeah.
Solid�menu,�Gailer�Hall.
Thanks,�Bon�Tugnutt.
Say,�who's�your�favourite player?
Gabriel�Longestcock.
��
Stewart-Stewart!
What's�Gucci?
Tibadoo's�dog's�lost.
And�what's�he Tiba-doing�about�it?
Oh,�shut�the�fuck�up.
He's�not�Tiba-doing anything.
(Gasping)
He'll�just�Tiba-do�without�it.
What?!
Do�you�wanna�know�what?
It's�kinda�what�a�lot of�country�folk�are�like.
They�just�open the�door�in�the�morning,
let�the�dog�out�for�the�day, open�it�up�again�at�night,
and�if�it's�not�there, well,�fuckin'--
Tough�sleddin'.
That's�how�I�was�raised.
Fucks�youse,�Tibadoos.
KATY:�It's�kind�of double�trouble�here�though.
It�was�Jivin's�dog�first, it�ran�away�from�him,
and�he�gave�up�on�it.
There's�Jivin fuckin'�up�again.
And�then�Tibadoo�found�it, it�ran�away�from�him,
and�he�gave�up�on�it.
What�if�it's�hurt�somewhere?
You�know, if�that�dog�came�back,
he�probably�wouldn't even�take�it�to�the�vet.
Nope,�just�wrap�it in�a�blanket,
put�it�in�front�of a�fire�for�a�few�days.
They're�well-meaning�folks, but�a�bit�redneck.
Fucks�youse,�Tibadoos.
I�ask�again, what�if�it�is�hurt�somewhere?
We'll�find�it.
Found�more�than�a�few runaways�during�my�time�doing
pit�bull�rescue�in Vancouv.
You're�a�great�gal,�Rosie.
Yeah.
And...�we've�got�Glen.
Glen?
��
Glen.
Roald.�Daniel.
Rosie.�Katy.�Stewart.
Wayne! As�I'm�sure�you�all�know,
I�added�dog-trapping�to�my wildly�impressive�skillsets
at�the�age�of�17, whilst�doing�missionary�work
in�Puerto�Escondido.
I�didn't�knows�that.
It's�in�his�Twitter�bio.
Twitter�is�a�cult.
Well,�don't�you�remember when�Glen�was�written�up
in�The�Banner�for finding�that�beagle?
Oof,�beagles�go�bucky.
Super�tough�to�find�because they're�trying�to�get�lost.
I�caught�him�swimming�island to.
They�get�a�scent and�they're�gone.
-�Sounds�familiar. -�Silly�fuckin'�hounds.
High�survival�rate�however.
So,�Glen�Close.
How�are�you going�to�find�it!
First�things�first.
The�lost�dog.
A�three-year�old�Nova�Scotia Duck�Toller�Retriever.
(gasping) Just�a�little�boo.
Oh!�Is�he�a�good�boy?
He�is�such�a�boy.
How�long's�the�boy�been�lost?
Well,�he�might�identify�as a�s.
Five�days.
I�wasn't�finished virtue�signaling,�Glen.
-�Roald. -�Name?
-�Gregory. -�(Giggling)
Is�it�fuckin'�really?
Thou�shalt�not�lie,�Wayne!
You're�not�supposed�to give�dogs�human�names.
Imagine�trying�to call�him�at�a�dog�park?
(Laughing) No,�Gregory!�Bad�dog,�Gregory.
Oh!�Sad�dog,�Gregory.
We�will�not�be�using�his�name.
Fuckin'�eh.
Once�a�dog�has�been in�the�wild�for�that�long,
their�brain�undergoes a�chemical�change
called�Missing�Dog�Syndrome,
basically�fight or�flight�mode.
So,�when�we�encounter�him, do�not�use�his�name.
It�might�trigger�him to�run�away!
Whys�isn't�Tibadoos outs�looks-in'�for�him?
Same�reason�Jivin�wasn't.
Yeah,�he's�a�fuckin'�degen.
There's�only�a�3%�chance a�dog�will�go�to�their�owner
after�entering Missing�Dog�Syndrome.
(Scoffing) So�it's�a�moot�point.
Who�the�fuck�are�you?
Also,�we�should�probably track�him�in�smaller�groups.
A�large�pack�might�spook�him.
Girls�rule,�boys�drool?
Don't�threaten�me with�a�good�time.
Well,�I'll�go�with�you, good�buddy.
Wh--�Good�buddy?�Wayne!
Well,�whats�abouts�me's?
You're�too�emotional�to�track, Squirrely�Dan.
That�energy's�not�good for�a.
I�am�not�emotionals!
We'll�consult�a�psychic.
What?
To�find�the�dog.
A�psychic?
Listen. When�I�was�a�young�skid,
my�parents, they�owned�a�Chow�Chow�named
Tatiana�Pamplemousse, and�I�know�I�seem�like
I've�been�a�bit�emotional throughout�all�this,
but�that's�just�because�Tatiana went�missing�one�evening--
-�Doesn't�matter. -�Anyhoo.
Let's�go�up�Wallace�way.
KATY:�I'll�take�Eaton�way.
-�WAYNE:�I�need�fuel. -�ROSIE:�West�end?
WAYNE: Oh,�Bender's�is�cheaper.
(Whimpering) Free�beer.
Mr.�Dan?
My--�My�sweeties�Ellens reads�tea�leaves.
That's--�That's�kinds�of likes�a�psychics?
(Both�giggling�maniacally)
Alright.
I�guess�I'll�drive.
Can't�believe we�got�stood�up,�buddy.
I've�never�been stood�up�in�my�life,�bro.
Stood�up�for�a�gym�date, no�less.
See,�bro, now�we'll�never�know.
About�their�gym�styles?
No,�about�their�steez,�buddy. We'll�never�know!
Like,�what's�your favourite�steez?
Hm.�Oh.
I�like�that�steez,�buddy.
Ooh,�I�like�that�steez.
Oh,�love�that�steez,�bro. (Chuckling)
Aw,�that's�good�steez,�too.
Hi,�Tassie!
Hey,�Cassie!
-�I'm�Cassie. -�I'm�Tassie.
Yeah,�we'll�get�'er.
If�she's�Tassie�steez, all�is�forgiven,�buddy.
All�is�forgiven if�she's�Cassie�steez,
but�we'll�never�know,�bro!
We'll�never�know now,�buddy.
-�WOMAN�1:�Reilly? -�WOMAN�2:�Jonesy?
-�Hey,�I'm�April. -�May.
Sorry�we're�late.
That's�okay.
No,�it's�not, it's�tacky.
BOTH:�Yeah.
But�we're�here�now.
BOTH:�Yeah.
Wait.�No,�we�have beer�league�now,�buddy.
Oh.�Hundy�P.
We�waited�all�afternoon.
Completely�my�fault.
May�was�on�time--
-�April. -�May?
-�April. -�May.
It's�not�your�fault your�little�brother�came�home
late�with�the�car.
-�You're�right. -�I�know.
So,�um,�we're�here�now?
Yeah,�but�we�got beer�league�now�though.
So,�skip�it?
BOTH: We're�not�skipping�hockey.
Then�we'll�come�watch you�play.
(Both�laughing)
Okay.
You�don't�bring�your�sweetie to�your�beer�league�game.
Well,�why�not?
Usually�there's�only�one clueless�guy
that'll�bring�his�sweetie�to his�beer�league�game,
and�that�means�there's one�lone�rocket�sitting�solo
in�the�stands,�and�if�that clu,
then�I'm�finding�out�who that�guy�is�on�the�other�team,
and�I'm�chirping that�guy�all�night.
See,�I'll�know who�the�clueless�guy�is
half�way�through�warm-up, and�I'll�be�getting
right�in�his�kitchen all�night�long.
-�Are�you�serious? -�I�think�they're�serious.
-�You�guys�are�rockets. -�NASA�certified.
-�Aggressive�boost�gliders. -�Exhaust�velocity.
-�Ballistic�missiles. -�Thrust�equalizers.
Unrestricted�burners.
Static�tested, staged�in�orbit.
BOTH:�Huh.
But�there's�no�way�we'd�put a�.
Rain�check?
No�time,�buddy. We�gotta�go.
Rain�check!�Love�your�steez!
Love�the�steez,�snipees!
(Scoffing)
April?
May?
April.
May.
We�just�got�ditched.
I've�never�been ditched�a�day�in�my�life.
BOTH:�Huh.
Tommy�Bahama lookin'�motherfucker.
Mine�looks�like�a�toe.
What�sort�of�botched�birth�canal did�that�mole�roll�out�of?
Monkfish,�hagfish,�flightless dung�beetle�lookin'�mutt.
Fuckin'�hockey�players.
You�know,�dudes�like�that spend�the�entire�game
looking�at�their�reflection in�the�glass.
Dudes�like�that go�tongue�out.
We�drove�all�the�way from�the�city�for�this?
We�have�to�make�this�trip�worth a�tank�of�gas,�am�I�right?
Bring�a�back-up�ensemble?
A�couple.�You?
My�car�is�my�closet,�lovely.
Oh.�Hey,�Tassie!
Hey�Cassie!
I'm�Tassie.
I'm�Cassie.
You�sure?
GLEN:�Now,�a�Duck�Toller doest
of�say�a�Shepherd or�a�Shar�Pei.
But�he'll�sure�as�shit be�preyed�upon.
Breed's�not�a�big�roamer, fortunately.
Unlike�fuckin'�beagles.
Is�it�true�that purebreds�are�more�likely
to�get�stolen�than�mutts?
Texas�sized�10-4.
I�hope�someone didn't�scoop�Gregory�up
and�start�whoring�him�out.
Fuckin'�Gregory.
You're�not�supposed�to give�dogs�human�names.
Well,�if�he's�three, his�pills�should�be�long�gone.
Not�a�safe�assumption if�yo.
Most�lost�or�spooked�dogs�will have�a�three
to�seven�kilometer�range, though�some�will�get�up�to�18.
They'll�often�centre�around their�last�known�place,
even�if�something�traumatic happened�like�gettin'�dinged.
Dogs�will�follow�barriers.
Edges�of�the�bush.
Fence�lines.
Dogs�circle�before�laying�down.
So�watch�for�patches of�flattened�down�grass
in�a�twisted�pattern.
This'd�be�a�lot�harder for�the�dog�in�the�winter,
but�it'd�be�a�lot�easier�for�us.
Fun�fact,�dogs�will�often go�where�horses�are�kept.
What�if�the�weather�gets�bad?
They'll�seek�shelter�from the�wind�behind�something
rather�than�crawl under�something.
He'll�roam�'til�it�gets�really bad�before�finding�shelter.
Dogs�can�sense�weather before�it�shows�up.
Is�it�true�that�dogs can�sense�earthquakes?
Yeah,�'cause�Gus�slept throu.
-�Did�he�really? -�Is�that�right?
Pooped�in�the�bed a�wee�bit�later�though.
Did�he�really?
Is�that�right?
Yup,�which�ultimately became�breakfast�in�bed.
Yup.
So...
Not�all�of�it,�Roald.
Leave�about�a�teaspoon in�the�bottom.
It's�okay. Now�turn�it.
Rotate�it�three�times.
And�make�a�wish.
(Scoffing) Roald.
We's�all�wishin' for�the�same�things.
That's�why�we called�youse,�Ellens.
Wish�you'd�come�more�often,�Dan.
SKIDS:�(whispering) Sex,�sex,�sex,�sex,�sex.
-�Butt�sex. -�Butt�sex.
Do�you�want�me�to�tell�you th?
(Roald�squealing)
Dogs�will�go�to�horses, you�know.
You�takes�the�goods with�the�bads.
Such�is�lifes.
Okay.
What�I'm�doing�now�is examining�the�tea�leaves
for�any�shapes that�may�jump�out.
Any�numbers,�letters...
starting�at�the�handle,
and�moving�clockwise around�the�cup.
STEWART:�'Kay.
It�looks�like�Gregory�is�hurt.
(Gasping) What?!
I�can't�tell�if�he�still�is,
but�I�see�the�letter�T.
Tibadoo.
He�isn't�moving.
BOYS: What?
He's�not�dead, he's�just�not�moving.
And�then?
I�get�the�sense�that he's...�confined�somehow.
I�see�the�letter�D.
Degens�from�upcountries?
I�see�an�A.
(Whispering) Aliens?
And�I�see�an�N.
Wait.
D-A-N?
That's�my�names.
Well,�it�could�also--
could�also�spell�"Nad".
-�Yeah. -�Yeah,�okay.
Do�you�think�this looks�like�a�dick?
(Players�hooting�and�hollering)
��
���Tear�the�roof�up,�baby,���
���Don't�give�a�shit how�it's�done���
SHORESY:�What�fucking clueless�pieces�of�shit
brought�their�broads�to watch�'em�play�beer�league?
(Knocking)
-�Reilly! -�Jonesy!
Thank�you�for�inviting us�to�watch�you�play
-�beer�league,�babe. -�Yeah,�thank�you.
Thank�you.
We�know�how�much�you love�beer�league,�babe.
We�know�how�seriously�you�take y.
We're�just�gonna�be your�lil'�cheerleaders!
-�Score�me�a�goal! -�Love�ya,�babe!
APRIL: Have�fun!
Where�the�fuck�did�he�go?
Gonna�be�a�long�night, you�fuckin�losers!
I�hope�he�didn't�get�dinged.
Statistically, getting�dinged�by�a�car
will�happen�when the�dog�first�gets�lost.
Slim�chance�it�will happen�in�the�days�after.
Dogs�most�often�travel�in�a linear�pattern,
back�and�forth.
Quarries�are�another good�place�to�look.
Shelter�from�the�wind.
Bonus�if�there's�a�water�source.
They�need�time�to�calm�after Lost�Dog�Syndrome�kicks�in.
They�need�time to�get�desperate
before�they'll seek�out�civilization.
Okay,�this�is�important.
If�we�see�Gregory, don't�say�his�name
the�way�he's�used�to�hearing�it.
His�name�is�now a�trigger�to�run.
What�you�wanna�do�is kneel�down�without�facing�him.
But�keep�him�in your�peripheral�vision.
Almost�like�you're�facing another�dog�that�isn't�there.
And�you�want�to�use�words Gregory�knows,�like�walk.
-�Treat. -�It'll�also�be�beneficial
to�have�some�treats�on�your person.
'Kay,�back�to�saying Gregory's�name�in�a�way
that�he�doesn't�usually�hear.
It�helps�to�sing�it.
-�Sing�it? -�Yup.
-�Sing�Gregory? -�Make�it�sing-songy.
Well,�imagine�Tibadoo's at�the�back�door
hollerin'�and�telling�him�it's time�to�come�for�supper,
he'd�probably�say something�like:�Gregory!
BOTH:�(Sternly) Gregory!
-�Gregory! -�Right?
So,�you�want�to�give�each syllable�a�different�tone.
Shake�things�up�a�little.
-�Make�it�sing-songy. -�Try�it.
-�You�try�it. -�Try�it.
You�try�it.
(Glen�&�Rosie clearing�their�throats)
BOTH:�(Singing) Gregory.
GLEN: ���Gregory���
ROSIE: ���Gregory���
���Gregory,�Gregory���
���Gregory���
(speaking�flatly) Gregory.
(Sighing)�You're�not�supposed to�give�dogs�human�names.
Ooh,�look�over�there.
Some�flattened�down�grass in�a�twisted�pattern.
Sheltered�from�the�wind.
Close�to�a�fence�line.
-�And�look... -�(Neighing)
Horses.
Oh.
SHORESY:�Whole�rink's�laughin' .
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
SHORESY:�Fuck�you,�Reilly. I�haven't�laughed�this�hard
since�your�mom�queefed�out her�birthday�candles.
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
Fuck�you,�Jonesy. I�haven't�laughed�this�hard
since�your�mom cleared�out�Denny's�at�3:00�am
with�her�coke�farts.
(Whistle�blowing)�Fuck,�boys,�I .
-�What's�that�Gap�Dream? -�Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
Fuck�you,�Reilly.�I'm�only asking�so�I�can�help�your�mum.
Her�ginger�mitt's so�rotten�I�call�it
Anne�of�Gangrene�Gables. Sticks�in.
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
SHORESY:�Fuck�you,�Jonesy. Anything's�better�than
your�mom's�spoiled�oyster�stank.
(Whistle�blowing)
(Grunting) Fuck,�Shoresy!
Fuck's�sake,�Reilly.
How�do�you�get�'em�to sit�still�like�that?
I�can't�take your�mum�fucking�anywhere.
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
Yeah,�fuck�you,�Reilly. Your�mom�hand�bombed�herself
at�our�picnic�at�the�beach andf
of�squirt�into�the�water like�sea�levels
aren't�rising at�an�alarming�rate.
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
SHORESY: Fuck�you,�Jonesy.
Your�mom�gave�me�an�over- the-pants�handy�at�the�mall
and�then�cried when�I�cleaned�myself�up
with�the�racy�top she�got�at�Sirens.
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
Fuck�you,�you�piece�of�shit. (Whistle�blowing)
(Whistle�blowing)
Fuck,�I�wish�they'd�just go�back�to�the�city,�buddy.
SHORESY:�Hey,�Reilly,�speaking r
in�the�city�was�a�rough�trip never�wandered�from
your�mom's�mitt to�her�butthole.
Fuck�you,�Shoresy.
I�swear,�if�you�weren't a�fucking�ref,�I'd--
SHORESY:�Fuck�you,�Jonesy. I�swear�if�your�mom�fills
my�bedroom�with�any�more�squirt I'm�going�to�need�to�rent
a�water�taxi�to�get out�of.
Fuck�you,�Shoresy, and�fuc.
I'm�out,�too.�Ninja�dust,�bro.
SHORESY:�Well,�fuck�it, dibs�on�digies,�boys.
Hey,�you�guys�wanna�get�some Thai�style�chow�mein,�or...
��
D.
An�A.
And�an�N.
There's�lots�of�guys in�Letterkennys�named�Dan.
ELLEN:�It�could�be�"Nad".
You�know,�a�few�of�those�guys even�shares�my�last�names.
I�thought�your last�name�was�Dan.
(Scoffing) Dan�is�a�first�name.
What�did�you�think my�first�name�was?
Squirrelly.
(Phone�vibrating)
Oh,�hold�on.
(Phone�vibrating)
Squirrelly�Daniel's�phone, Squirrely�Daniel�speakings.
Uh-huh?�Oh,�terrific.
Oh,�good�news.
Toodle-oo.
Oh,�they�found�Gregory.
NOAH:�We�first�saw�him running�the�fence�line
where�the�horses�are�kept.
Yes�and�then�he�came�back later�that�afternoon
when�we�were installing�the�swing.
Ah!�I�hadn't�mentioned. We're...�swingers�now.
Oh.
A�large�portion�of�our community�enjoys�swinging.
Mainly�the�children, traditionally,
but�recently�we've�joined a�n.
We've�swung�with each�other's�parents�once.
How's�the�dog?
Oh,�he�was�barely�conscious when�he�first�wandered�over.
Eyes�barely�open. Just�little�slits.
The�tightest�little�slits.
As�he�was�losing�consciousness I�began�jerking�him
to�keep�him�up.
Two�hands�at�one�point.
He�had�a�fairly�serious gash�on�his�side,�once.
Clash�with�a�coyote,�no�doubt.
Well,�if�you�fight�one, you�fight�a�bunch�of�'em.
I�was�able�to�patch�him�up,
but�it�took�a�lot�of tender�love�and�care.
Let's�just�say I've�had�my�face�in�gash
for�the�better�part of�three�days.
Face�and�fingers,�once.
I�swiftly�retrieved�my�scissors
and�crafted a�bandage�for�the�gash.
No�one�scissors�like�mine�wife.
Well,�our�daughters scissor�quite�skillfully.
Now,�credit�where�it's�due.
Our�daughters�learned to�scissor�from�their�mother.
Teaching�our�daughters to�scissor
has�been�one�of�the�great�joys of�my�life.
Look�at�me.
I�get�wet�just thinking�about�it.
A�D�for�Dyck.
An�A�for�Anita.
And�Ns�for�Noahs.
And�the�tea�leaves�were in�the�shape�of�a�dick!
Where's�he�now,�Anita?
Is�he�confined?
We�wrapped�him�in�a�blanket
and�laid�him�by a�fire,�once.
Well-meaning�folks, just�a�wee�bit�redneck.
The�children�have�taken quite�a�fondness�to�Sunshine.
(Gasping) Sunshine?
Yes.�The�name�we've�given�him, if�only�temporarily.
We�thought�of�calling�him Monster�for�the�sickness
living�inside�of�him.
Monster�Dyck.
And�he�was�so�thin when�he�first�arrived
we�thought�of calling�him�Pencil.
Pencil�Dyck.
We�even�considered naming�him�after
Noah's�late�grandmother,
Sarah�Theresa�Dyck.
STD�for�short.
SKIDS:�(whispering)�Discharge, .
But�at�last�we�settled�on--
But�his�name�is--
Sunshine.
You're�not�supposed�to give�dogs�human�names.
We'll�be�sad�to�see�him�go.
I�assume�ye's�are�here to�take�him�back,
return�him�to�his�true�master?
(All�muttering)
Alright,�okay.�Fine. It�looks�like�we�agree!
How�would�youse like�to�keep�him?
Now,�mine�wife, you�know�on�Mennonite�farms
animals�fulfil only�two�functions.
T'work�and�t'eat.
But�Sunshine is�still�healing.
���Sittin'�on�the�edge atop�a�canyon���
Joyful�wife,�joyful�life.
Alright,�then.
(Clapping)
He�can�stay.�We'll�continue to�tend�to�him�day�to�day.
I'm�surprised�that�mine�wife didn't�become�a�doctor,
for�it�would�seem�as�though she�can't�resist�an�open�gash.
My�husband�knew�I�was�many things�when�he�married�me,
but�I�can�assure�you,
a�gash�lover�was not�one�of�them.
It's�true!
(Both�laughing)
(Both�laughing�hysterically)
���...become�afraid and�watch�it�go���
���And�the�day�is�long���
���And�the�bridge is�gone���
���And�the�river's washed�away...���
���The�road�I'm�on���
���Only�road�I�know���
��
���Everybody's�got a�problem���
���Something�to�do with�self-control���
���You�gotta�tell�somebody���
���If�you�got�one���
���You�can't�pretend you�didn't�know���
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