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♪ Terrible Tudors
Gorgeous Georgians
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♪ Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
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00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:07,000
♪ Woeful wars, ferocious fights
Dingy castles, daring knights
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00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,800
♪ Horrors that defy description
Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
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00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,480
♪ Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes
Punishment from ancient times
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♪ Romans rotten, rank and ruthless
Cavemen savage, fierce and toothless
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♪ Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
Mean and measly Middle Ages
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♪ Gory stories, we do that
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♪ And your host, a talking rat
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♪ The past is no longer a mystery
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♪ Welcome to...
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♪ Horrible Histories. ♪
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Horrible Histories presents...
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Uh, ah, uh, ah, aha!
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You're right to be impressed.
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H-V-III's in the house!
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King of England, Lord of Ireland
and monster on the dance floor.
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I particularly loved a dance
called the galliard,
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00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,240
and I was obviously great at it -
so great, in fact,
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that if we'd have had dance
competitions back in my time
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I'd have needed quite
the trophy cabinet.
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Welcome to Strictly Historical
Dancing - It Took Two!
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It's make-or-break week
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00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,880
for Henry VIII and his partner
Catherine of Aragon
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after their shocking results
in the live show.
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00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,800
Right - I'm executing someone.
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It was bitterly disappointing
for the king
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after a very energetic performance.
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Just... No, don't cry. Do not cry.
I'm not going to cry!
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I'm angry, if anything. I mean, how
high do they want me to leap?
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I almost put my head
through the ceiling!
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VOICE BREAKING
This is such an emotional journey.
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We danced the best galliard
I had ever seen.
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It's just a shame we had
been asked to do a foxtrot -
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whatever that is.
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This week, Henry needs
to up his game,
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and that means hard work
in rehearsals.
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OK, so, Henry this week they want us
to dance something called the waltz.
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I've never heard of it. No.
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What if we did the galliard again?
Mm...
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I think they liked it and I think we
should just persevere with it.
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He likes it.
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Ow! I am so...
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..sorry ab...
HENRY LAUGHS
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Right in the crown jewels.
That would really hurt. Is you OK?
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STRAINED: It's fine, Your Majesty.
OK.
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THUD
He's fine.
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So, let's give it up for
King Henry VIII
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and his fabulous wife,
Catherine of Aragon.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
I'm fabulous too.
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Henry, you really love the galliard,
don't you?
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Yeah, well, what's not to like,
really?
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There's hopping, leaping, jumping,
twisting, lifting...
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It's incredibly athletic and I've
been doing it since I was a child.
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AUDIENCE: Aww.
So, check it out.
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TUDOR MUSIC PLAYS
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And spin.
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And, Catherine, what
do you think of all this?
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00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,920
Oh, I couldn't be happier.
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Really? Oh, yes.
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From now on, I will just be dancing
with my maid in my bedroom.
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So...excuse me.
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HENRY PANTS
Doesn't matter.
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It's actually better on my own.
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Lift.
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Thrust. Oh.
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00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,280
Bring on Saturday.
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00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,520
Ah, yes, the galliard -
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just one of the many dances
that I know nothing about.
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Luckily, we've got a guest on
the show who's an expert.
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It's the queen of Latin -
Strictly head judge Shirley Ballas!
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Hello, Rattus.
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Lovely outfit. Why, thank you.
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Now, Shirley,
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some historians believe dance is
one of the oldest human art forms
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and that we've been doing
it for 10,000 years.
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What do you think the
first dance was?
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00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:38,720
Accidentally treading on a hedgehog?
Ants in their loincloth?
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Well..
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00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,960
We don't know how it started... Ooh.
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00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,240
..but we do know the ancient
Egyptians used it
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00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:50,000
in religious ceremonies many
thousands of years ago.
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00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:56,000
Since then, almost all cultures have
had dancing in some form or another.
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Well, I haven't got time
to learn all of them.
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Let's stick with the 16th-century
dance, the galliard.
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It goes like this...
FARTING AND SQUEAKING
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TUDOR MUSIC CONTINUES
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Your Majesty, the Ambassador
of France is here to see you.
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00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:18,480
Your Majesty, it is wonderful to
see you in such good health.
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00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,080
Why wouldn't I be in good health?
What have we had?
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00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,200
Nothing, Your Majesty...
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00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,120
Oh, because I'm 50 now, you
all think I'm past it, is that it?
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00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,320
Well, no, Your Majesty, but... No?
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00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,840
The thing is, none of us are
getting any younger.
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00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:31,200
Right, that's it - music!
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00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,240
Eh?
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00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,720
Everyone's saying our Queenie's
lost it, are they, hm?
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00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,160
Well, if I was past it,
could I do this?
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00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:39,440
Er...
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00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:44,320
Ah, mais oui. Tres impressive,
Your Majesty.
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00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:45,560
Your turn.
102
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,320
No, I... That's it, come on.
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00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,720
Your turn. OK.
104
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,240
Ready? A five, six, seven, eight...
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00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,040
We really must discuss...
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00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,520
I sometimes do six or seven
galliards in my chamber
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before anything else in the morning.
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00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,080
Huh? Still got it, haven't I?
109
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:06,760
Heh-heh, of course, but, er,
we still have business to attend to?
110
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,200
I'm as fit as I was 30 years ago.
In complete control of my own body.
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00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:14,440
Of course, Your Majesty, but please
could we take a little break?
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00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,320
Very well.
AMBASSADOR PANTS
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Oh, thank you, Your Majesty!
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00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,280
Phew! Be sure to tell your king
that I'm in perfect health.
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00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,840
BREATHLESS: I will... Your Majesty...
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Oh!
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00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,720
I need water. Well, that showed him.
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00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,360
Will someone call a doctor?
I pulled something four leaps ago.
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00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,600
SHE HISSES
Aah. Aa-ah.
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00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,160
♪ Yeah! ♪
ELECTRONIC BEAT PLAYS
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♪ Yeah! ♪
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00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,880
Shirley, will you show me how to do
one of those awesome dance spin
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00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,560
moves that you see on Strictly?
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00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,320
Of course. We grab each other
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00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,680
and then...spin! Whoa, Shirley!
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00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,960
I'm free as a bird!
Oh, this is lovely.
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00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,840
Don't let go, Rattus. What?
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00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:22,240
Oh! Whoa...
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00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,400
He's fine. I'm not!
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00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,600
Oh, he is.
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00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,520
RATTUS SPLUTTERS
I'm all right.
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00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,400
At least I'm free and able to dance.
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00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,840
In the past, when the Puritan-led
government was in power,
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00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:38,360
people were told they weren't
allowed to dance on Sundays.
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00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,440
And some dances were
banned altogether. Mm.
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00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:45,800
POLICE SIRENS WAIL
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00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,200
We've had a tip-off
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00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,680
about an illegal operation right
in the heart of the community.
139
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,280
We've heard they've got kids
involved and everything. Sick.
140
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,760
It starts with morris dancing gangs.
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00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,840
That's just a gateway to
leaping and vaulting.
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00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:04,000
Look - unbelievable.
CHILDREN SQUEAL
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00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,920
Before you know it - bang.
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00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,640
It's a full maypole bonanza.
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00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,040
Illegal maypole dancing.
Breaks your heart.
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00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,080
I'm sorry, can we...
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00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,520
Hey! Stop in the name
of Puritan law!
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00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,280
Step away from the maypole!
Step away!
149
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,760
This whole area's a hotbed
of dance-related crime.
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00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,480
All right... Argh!
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00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,520
Ah, I've been hit!
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00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,200
You get hardened to it.
153
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,040
It's just a ribbon.
I know, but Sir...
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00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,200
..it's jolly!
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00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,240
Sometimes they're even
armed with lutes.
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00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,640
I'm arresting you for possession
of a maypole with intention
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00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,840
to dance around it with ribbons
and bells and that.
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00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,000
Oh, come... What, that?
159
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,400
That's not a maypole.
It's just a...thin tree.
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00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:46,080
Oh, pull the other one -
it's got bells on!
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00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,040
I know it was a win today but...
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..sometimes, when it's quiet,
I can hear the jingles at night.
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SOFT JINGLING
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What? I'm going undercover.
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00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,040
Oh...
HE MOUTHS
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00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,800
Stop it. Yep.
167
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,800
She was just a 17th-century
French girl...
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00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,880
..with a simple dream.
169
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,000
Monsieur.
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00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,960
I want to be a ballerina.
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But you are a girl.
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MEN LAUGH
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00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,040
Please, monsieur, I can dance!
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00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:37,400
Could a girl force her way into
the boys' club of ballet?
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00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,880
I can dance backwards in
high heels and everything!
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00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,320
MEN LAUGH
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00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,440
Dancing backwards in
high heels is for men!
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00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,640
Forget this foolishness.
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00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:51,400
Her journey would take her to the
very top of French society...
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00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:56,120
I am King Louis XIV of France and
I, too, want to be a ballet dancer.
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00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,000
But apparently instead of doing
12-hour ballet dances
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in the academy I set up
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00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,840
I should be "ruling the country".
184
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:06,920
Well, you know what I say? I say,
"I'm the King - I do what I want!"
185
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,120
Then I should dance if I want to!
186
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,840
Uh, no, babes - that only
works if you're the king.
187
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,720
..and just when all seemed lost...
188
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,120
Very well. I will allow you
to dance with the men.
189
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,440
Let's see what you've got.
190
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,240
Five, six, seven, huit!
191
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,440
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, non.
192
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,680
HE CLICKS HIS TEETH
I should have said.
193
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,000
You will be wearing a huge dress
194
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,040
so no-one will be able
to see your legs
195
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,760
so don't bother waggling
them around.
196
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:42,480
Just do little movements with your
arms and let the men do the rest.
197
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,160
Five, six, seven, huit!
198
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:47,440
The 17th-century ballerina story
199
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,000
about the girls who reached the top.
200
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,440
Well, they just moved around
slowly in a huge dress
201
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,200
while the boys had all the fun.
202
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,760
JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS
Hey, there. I'm William Henry Lane
203
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,360
or, as most people call me,
Master Juba.
204
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,240
I was extremely popular in New York,
205
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,040
where I became famous as
the inventor of tap dancing.
206
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,800
BANGING Hey! Keep the noise down, already!
207
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,800
Although living downstairs from me
can't have been easy.
208
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:17,560
But which famous writer saw me and
called me the greatest dancer known?
209
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,000
Was it...
210
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,640
The answer is A, Charles Dickens,
211
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:30,040
although everybody who experiences
my dancing thinks I'm pretty great.
212
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,400
TAPPING
213
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,400
BANGING
Quiet!
214
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,480
Well, almost everybody.
215
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,760
ELECTRONIC BEAT PLAYS
216
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,080
♪ Yeah! ♪
217
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,720
Dancing is amazing, Shirley.
218
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,000
It's a shame it leads to
such pain and misery.
219
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,520
Pain and misery?
Well, take last night.
220
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,640
I was singing and dancing
in the alleyway
221
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,600
and someone threw a pizza at me.
I wouldn't have minded,
222
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,560
but it was still in the box!
RIMSHOT
223
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:31,880
But dancers have gone on to all
sorts of great things, Shirley.
224
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,200
Look at me - I'm on Strictly.
225
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:39,440
And one amazing dancer even became
empress of a huge empire.
226
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,560
Ooh. Ooh!
227
00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,760
MIDDLE EASTERN MUSIC PLAYS
228
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,560
Oh, my days, it's you!
229
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,840
Theodora. Empress of the
Eastern Roman Empire.
230
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,840
How do you do? This is, like,
a proper thrill for me and that.
231
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,120
Well, are you working on anything
new at the moment?
232
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,800
The emperor, Justinian, and I have
just crushed the Nika riots
233
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,400
and I'm thinking to reform the
legal status of women.
234
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,880
I mean, are you working on any new
dance moves at the minute?
235
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,000
MUSIC STOPS
236
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,440
I am Empress now.
237
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,320
I prefer not to discuss my past as
a professional dancer. Next!
238
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,480
MUSIC RESUMES
239
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,400
Your Imperial Majesty.
240
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,520
I'm humbled in your presence.
241
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,080
Oh, well, that's very...
But you - wow!
242
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,160
I can't believe I'm actually
talking to you.
243
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,000
Best dancer ever!
244
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:37,480
I really would prefer to focus on
building on our empire's great past
245
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,840
and create a brighter future.
Talk about a great past!
246
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:44,040
I was going to ask you, how do
you do the double hip swivel
247
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,440
at the end of the hop-hop song?
Cos I'm like...
248
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,360
Is it this?
249
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:51,680
Cos I was... It doesn't feel right
when I do it, but when you do it...
250
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,880
Bit more of a... Next!
251
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,880
I'm so sorry! It's fine.
It won't happen again.
252
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,640
Your Majesty.
253
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,360
Hello, er, we are Cassius and Diana.
254
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,840
Er, massive fans, and we have
worked out our own version of
255
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,520
the swan dance... Yeah. ..so,
would you like to see it?
256
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,640
We really wouldn't. Brilliant.
Thank you so much! Brilliant!
257
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,000
Are you ready? What we doing?
258
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,320
This means everything to me.
Yeah, me too. Everything!
259
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:15,440
OK, let's do it.
260
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,760
SHE SQUAWKS
261
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:22,200
Aa-aa! Bzzzz...
262
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,240
Must be like, you know, looking
in the mirror. That's not it.
263
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,120
No, let me show you how it's done.
No, not yet. You have to...
264
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,200
That's not fair!
265
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,640
No, no, no, no!
ALL GASP
266
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,480
It's more like this,
isn't it, darling?
267
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,320
HE HISSES
268
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,280
Get out of my way!
269
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,680
Look at me! Woo, woo!
270
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,720
They're real-life royals,
271
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,200
but can they become king and
queen of the dance floor?
272
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,120
Queen Victoria and Prince Albert
are in the house.
273
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:59,680
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
So, you two lovebirds,
274
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,640
this week the plan was
to perform the waltz
275
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,480
that you did on your wedding day.
Mm. AUDIENCE: Aww.
276
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,520
Finally a dance I know.
277
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,880
So, what happened? I changed it!
278
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,640
Let's take a look at your training.
279
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:17,320
Psst, um... I know you're the Queen,
but please can I lead this one?
280
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,000
Course, my darling. Thank you. So...
281
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,960
When you're ready. Music!
282
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,200
Surprise! This isn't a waltz.
283
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,360
I know! It's a Highland Reel.
284
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,320
Victoria, this is not the time.
We are not at Balmoral.
285
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,440
Oh, don't be such a
spoilsport, Albert.
286
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,280
Honestly. Nine children, you'd
think she ran out of energy.
287
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,360
Oh, come on - I'm the Queen!
288
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,720
Right and right... Yep. Two, three.
That's it. Good boy.
289
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,920
You look like you're really enjoying
yourself there, Your Majesty.
290
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,400
Och aye - as they say!
291
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,800
I just love Scottish dancing.
292
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,080
I've had lessons.
293
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,760
I mean, as you can tell.
294
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,600
Prince Albert, not a
fan of the reel?
295
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,920
It looks like a witch's dance!
296
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,000
I'm not a fan of the Scottish
dancing events.
297
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,960
But don't you wish
you could join in?
298
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,200
Deep down? Certainly not.
299
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,600
We even have a special nook
in the Balmoral Ballroom
300
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,600
where the royal couple can
sit quietly and watch
301
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:17,440
but someone keeps charging out of it
and scaring the locals.
302
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,640
Boo - it's me!
303
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,240
I just love me some
Highland dancing.
304
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,240
Well, I shall not dance,
and that's an end to it.
305
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,520
But, Your Maj, what will you do
if your partner won't dance?
306
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,360
Oh, he'll dance! I...
307
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,560
He has to! Cos I'm the Queen.
308
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,600
CRUNCHING
Aa-aa-aah. Looking forward to it.
309
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,280
♪ Yeah! ♪
ELECTRONIC BEAT PLAYS
310
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,440
Time to go viral.
311
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,280
Kings can boogie too.
312
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:17,360
Ha-ha!
313
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,720
♪ Yeah! ♪
314
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:24,760
Say what you like, Shirley. I may
not be great with my dance footwork.
315
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,720
That's true. I may not be
able to dance in time....
316
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,000
He can't. I may not be the
most graceful dancer...
317
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,920
I won't argue with that. Phew!
318
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,920
But you know what I can do?
I can dance for a long time.
319
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:41,680
No matter what life throws at me,
I'll keep dancing!
320
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,000
Da-da...argh!
SPLASH
321
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:49,640
You know, endurance dancing used
to actually be a bit of a sport.
322
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,920
Back in the 16th century,
a Shakespearean actor
323
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:57,640
called Will Kemp even did
a marathon morris dance
324
00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:01,600
as a publicity stunt, although
I can't say it went well.
325
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,240
Hello.
326
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,880
Yes, it's me, Will Kemp.
327
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,800
The great actor and dancer from
William Shakespeare's plays,
328
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,400
such as Much Ado About Nothing
and Romeo And Juliet.
329
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,000
Now, I will be morris dancing
from London to Norwich
330
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,920
to raise awareness...of me.
331
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:26,120
It's 125 miles and I'll be
doing it in just nine days.
332
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:27,480
Let's go.
333
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,000
Day one.
334
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,080
Course, I could have
done it in four days
335
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,000
if I'd picked a different dance.
336
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,040
Day two.
337
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:48,160
So, it's day two of what I'm calling
my nine-day wonder.
338
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,400
Hey, Will, why'd you leave
Shakespeare's theatre company?
339
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,160
Artistic differences. Yeah?
I heard it's cos you never stuck to
340
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,640
the script and he got annoyed.
That's just a rumour! OK?
341
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,880
Shakespeare wouldn't know talent
if it danced across the stage
342
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,760
carrying a skull and saying...oh!
343
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,800
Ooh! Ooh. Oh, my hip.
I think it's a sprain.
344
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,760
Just don't look at me, don't...
HE PANTS
345
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:10,800
Oi!
346
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:11,840
Day six.
347
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,800
Will Kempe here and, actually,
it's not six days, OK?
348
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,480
It's still two days.
349
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,480
The four days recovering
in the inn don't count.
350
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,960
All right. Day two.
351
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,320
Thank you.
352
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:26,000
Right. Bit of injury trouble,
but we're still on track.
353
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,040
Nine-day wonder! Woo!
354
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:34,000
Just entering Braintree
at the start of day four.
355
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,000
You should have brought a map rather
than improvising all the way.
356
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:42,000
Ha-ha...aargh!
LOUD LAUGHTER
357
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,240
I've fallen in a hole! Oh, you.
358
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:46,480
Lunch? Yeah.
359
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,800
Day 27.
360
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,440
I did it!
361
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:55,560
I skipped from London to Norwich
in just nine days. And the rest!
362
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,000
It was nine days!
363
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,880
And that's what it's going to say in
my book, The Nine-Day Wonder. Aha!
364
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,560
In honour of my achievement,
365
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,760
I'm going to donate my shoes
to the people of Norwich.
366
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,240
Oh...
367
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:12,520
Now to return to London - hopefully
with a slightly raised profile.
368
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,440
Ooh. Ah. Ow, my feet!
369
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,880
Might actually need my shoes.
370
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,720
Very funny, Norwich!
371
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,520
Welcome to the explosive world
of dance marathons.
372
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,320
Yes, this is the sport where
people compete to see
373
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:40,080
who can dance the longest
without stopping!
374
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:44,680
These bouts of beauty, grace,
but mainly all-out physical strength
375
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,760
can last as long as 12 weeks!
376
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:52,000
Knees touched the floor -
you're out! Oh...
377
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,120
Starring the legend of dance
marathon entertainment,
378
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,160
Chad Alviso!
AUDIENCE BOOS
379
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,000
I'm the meanest marathon
dancer out there.
380
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:04,280
I'm going to play every dirty trick
in the book to win. Boo!
381
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,000
And I'll do it from the middle
of the dance floor
382
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,480
so you losers in the crowd
can't throw chairs at me.
383
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,160
Boo! Hey!
384
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,280
We haven't started! Sorry.
385
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,560
And it's not just the dancers
you've got to watch out for...
386
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,560
We got legendary dance judge...
387
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:25,720
Now, I want a good, clean,
12-week dance.
388
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,600
No biting, no kicking, no wedgies.
389
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,240
HE CHUCKLES
Who am I kidding?
390
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,560
Anything goes as long
as you keep dancing
391
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:38,840
and I'll be smacking your legs with
a wet towel to make sure you do!
392
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,640
Huh? What a villain! No wonder
he needs a police escort.
393
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,680
It's the craze of the
1920s and '30s -
394
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,880
dance marathons!
BELL DINGS
395
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,640
Dancing like you've
never seen before.
396
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,000
Dancing for 12 straight weeks
can't be good for you.
397
00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:00,200
Absolutely not - and especially
with your knees, Rattus.
398
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,760
All right, Shirley! In the past,
399
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:07,520
there have been many times when
dancing has really been dangerous.
400
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,520
Like when French king
Charles VI held a ball
401
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,360
to celebrate the wedding of one
of his queen's ladies-in-waiting.
402
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,680
Some noblemen decided to
put on an elaborate dance
403
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:21,680
by way of celebration.
Which they wanted to be lit -
404
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,360
but not quite in the way
it turned out...
405
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,240
Here we are at the palace
of Charles VI.
406
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,160
As you can see, it's an
impressive venue -
407
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,120
WAS an impressive venue -
408
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:37,040
and we wanted to put off a show
to really finish off the wedding.
409
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:41,400
CRASH, GLASS SHATTERS
410
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,640
Mm. Well, it certainly did that.
411
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:49,200
So tell me about the
dance of the wild men.
412
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,440
Oh, it was a good idea!
413
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:56,240
We put some well-known men dressed
up as "wild men" - like this, see?
414
00:21:56,240 --> 00:22:00,800
And then the guests have to try and
recognise them while they do some...
415
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,040
..dance moves.
416
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:09,280
Anyway, it was going really well -
some of those guys can really move.
417
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,400
MAN WHIMPERS
418
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,680
Not any more, they can't.
419
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,720
OK, that's fair.
And whose idea was it
420
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,920
to make the costumes out of
highly flammable linen
421
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,440
and highly flammable animal hair
422
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,120
and then cover them in
highly flammable tar?
423
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:28,120
That would be Huguet de Guisay.
424
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:31,560
Oh, and that would be him, too.
Eh, Huguet? OK, he's dead.
425
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,520
Look, the idea was wonderful.
426
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,520
The costumes were wonderful.
427
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,680
The dance...resulted in much death.
428
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,040
Two out of three isn't bad.
429
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,320
Plus, this ball will be talked
about for centuries to come.
430
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,800
Hashtag - winning! Yes, because
you almost killed the king.
431
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,040
But, you know, the other
way to look at that is
432
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,520
we had a ball where zero kings died.
Just three other men.
433
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,800
STRANGLED GROAN
Four other men. Ugh!
434
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,440
Everyone's a critic.
435
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,840
Wow, it's great that everyone's
436
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,520
getting along so well.
437
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:09,560
Just days ago, all this lot were
at war with each other and us.
438
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,800
What do you think they're
talking about?
439
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,960
They're discussing how
to have you killed.
440
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,880
Wow. Way to kill the vibe!
441
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,480
I've heard one of them will do
a sword dance to get close to you
442
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,040
and then kill you with his sword.
443
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,320
Here he comes!
444
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,920
Woohoo, that guy can move!
445
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,080
Yeah, baby! You're killing it!
446
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,160
He'll be killing you in a minute
if we don't think of something.
447
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,440
I've got it.
448
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,440
I'll pretend to go to the toilet.
449
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,520
Gah! My legs won't budge.
450
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,480
That guy's moves are hypnotic.
451
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,280
Yo, Xiang Bo, you're my ally.
452
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,480
Do your thing. Yes! Protect him!
453
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,000
No, I meant get up there and dance.
454
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,920
But, yeah, protecting me
is good too.
455
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,160
Whoa! Can anybody say "dance off"?!
456
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:03,760
Phew! It looks like
the danger is passed.
457
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,080
Now would be a good time
to make our exit.
458
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,520
When you are emperor,
you can deal with all of them.
459
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:09,840
Yeah, cool, whatever.
460
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,920
Wait - an attack! Where? What?
461
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,720
An attack of the boogies!
462
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,320
Let's rock!
463
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:20,880
Swords out, guys.
It's murder on the dance floor.
464
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,240
Ugh... I don't know why I bother.
465
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,760
He's the leader
who ruled our hearts -
466
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,320
give it up for Emperor Nero.
467
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:34,920
CHEERING
468
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:39,480
Wow! A big shout-out
to the Nero fans. What up?
469
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:44,360
So, Nero, we allowed you to bring
your own Roman dance instructor
470
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:47,320
rather than taking
one of our modern dancers.
471
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,720
Paris. Yeah, yeah, great guy.
472
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,640
Well, Nero, let's have a look
473
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:52,800
and see how that went.
474
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,360
You have the footage? Oh, yeah.
475
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:55,560
Embarrassing.
476
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:59,080
This week, Nero and Paris
had a lot of work to do.
477
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,680
Reach for the sun!
478
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,520
I am the sun. Yeah, OK.
479
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,440
Tensions between the two had been
bubbling for a while.
480
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,240
I hate that! OK.
481
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,840
And creative differences
started to show.
482
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,160
We're not doing the lift.
We're doing that one.
483
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,640
We're not doing the lift. We're
doing that one! I've told you...
484
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,040
No, we're not doing the lift!
Argh!
485
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,240
Tempers flared...
486
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,600
I don't like it, I don't like it,
I don't like it...
487
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,480
What do you want to do, Nero?
Come on.
488
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:23,920
I want to o something else.
489
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,600
..but it looked like they finally
found their groove.
490
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,120
OW!
491
00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:30,960
Ow, wrong foot!
492
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,320
"Wrong foot"?
493
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,040
Yes. Right foot.
494
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:37,320
Just... No! No, no, no, please!
No, I can do better!
495
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:38,920
It was my fault! ARGH!
496
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:44,800
Well, Paris is here, so maybe
we should get his side of it too.
497
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,200
Huh! Good luck with that.
498
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,240
GASPS
Oh...
499
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,840
Get over it! It's been three days.
500
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:56,080
What's next for Emperor Nero?
Will you keep dancing?
501
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,560
No. Hm?
502
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:01,320
Weirdly, it's very tricky
to find a dance teacher.
503
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:05,120
Anyway, hand me the trophy and I'll
be on the first chariot out of here.
504
00:26:05,120 --> 00:26:10,080
Well, there's still eight weeks
to go and you were voted out.
505
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:15,200
I killed this dude
because he didn't teach me to dance.
506
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:20,400
Imagine what I'll do to someone who
tells me I didn't win the show.
507
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,760
Ladies and gentlemen,
508
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:28,760
Emperor Nero - the winner
of Strictly Historical Dancing!
509
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,240
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
510
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:35,440
A bit small, but anyway,
I will play you out.
511
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,960
Well, Shirley,
we've come to the end of the show
512
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:53,600
and, like on Strictly, it's time
for you to save one of the dancers.
513
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,880
I'll give you a clue -
there's only me.
514
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,160
Right. Well, this is a tough one.
515
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:02,920
It isn't. You can only choose me.
516
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,760
Is there anyone else I can choose?
517
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,200
No, you can only choose me.
518
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,000
Could I choose nobody?
519
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,160
I'd be safer dancing for Nero!
520
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:14,280
Well, it's time for our last dance
and for that, it's time to meet
521
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:19,680
Josephine Baker, the amazing dancer,
spy and civil rights champion.
522
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,160
In the meantime, Shirley, let's...
523
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,840
..keep dancing!
524
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,720
♪ The queen of jazz
525
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,120
♪ They went crazy for me
526
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:32,960
♪ Back in the '20s,
they loved my new dance
527
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,520
♪ From Harlem to the
toast of all Paris
528
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:40,280
♪ I made the Charleston
a big hit in France
529
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,480
♪ Hung out with Hemingway
And Picasso!
530
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,880
♪ Star of Champs-Elysees
Look, there's Cocteau!
531
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,320
♪ Cos anybody can just walk the walk
532
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:53,000
♪ You need a dancing girl
to blow your mind
533
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,240
♪ Dance, dance, Josephine Baker
534
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,280
♪ Check out my cheetah
535
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,520
♪ The great Jazz Age trend maker
536
00:27:58,520 --> 00:27:59,760
♪ He's called Chiquita
537
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,640
♪ Wait a moment, you're about to see
538
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,040
♪ There's more to
Miss Baker's celebrity
539
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,400
♪ When World War II broke out
540
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:11,200
♪ I offered help
with French military intelligence
541
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,920
♪ Charmed my way to enemy embassies
542
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,760
♪ Shared my findings
through correspondence
543
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,840
♪ Wrote secret notes for spies
Over gateau!
544
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,200
♪ Homed the Resistance guys
In her chateau!
545
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,720
♪ Cos anybody can just talk the talk
546
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:31,400
♪ You need a war hero
to blow your mind
547
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,800
♪ Dance, dance, back in the States
548
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:34,880
♪ Her home nation
549
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,640
♪ Racism made me outraged
550
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:37,960
♪ Fought segregation
551
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,280
♪ Civil rights is
the new song I sing
552
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,360
♪ Side by side
with Martin Luther King
553
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:44,440
Hey!
554
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,280
♪ Look at all that I did
555
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:47,480
♪ How could you not know?
556
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,440
♪ Plus adopted 12 kids
557
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:50,720
♪ That is a lot, though
558
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:54,920
♪ Wait a moment, did you think
that I was just a dancer?
559
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,240
♪ Then I'll say goodbye. ♪
560
00:28:57,290 --> 00:29:01,840
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