All language subtitles for The Best Man s01e01 Paradise.eng

- Oprah Winfrey
wants "Unfinished Business"

for her book of the month club.

- I could be like this
with you forever.

You love me, don't you?
- Of course I do.

But it's not that simple.

The best man is here.

I'ma get you over that broom
if it kills me.

- Jordan's the best girlfriend
you never had.

- What?
[laughter]

- Why'd you really leave
your girl at home this weekend?

- 'Cause I wanted to...

hang out with the guys.

- Mm-hmm.

- Gentlemen!

Welcome to paradise.

[people cheering]

- I just thought we had
a connection back there.

- You know I read your book.

Brought back
some wild memories.

- If Lance finds out
what went down,

you better use your feet
and run.

- Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo,
yo, yo, yo!

[glass shattering]

A long, long time ago,

Mia slept with your best man.

You can hate me forever
but not Mia.

She loves you so much.

- Candace, I'm so glad
you could make it.

- Who was that?
- Shelby, it's over.

[indistinct shouting]

- We have to live for today,

not for what could have been.

- Robyn, will you marry me?

- Yeah.
[cheers and applause]

- It's been one crazy-ass,
emotional weekend,

hasn't it?

[both scream]

[upbeat music]

- We need another one of these.

Lance Sullivan is retiring.

You get him to commit
to you being

the author of his bio,
ka-ching!

- Is it a boy or a girl?

- We wanted it to be
a surprise.

- Ah, well,
Harp's good for that.

- [laughs]

[people cheering]

- I wonder what would happen
if, um,

you and I really gave it
a shot.

Oh, hell no.

- [coughs]
- Mia.

Cancer?

How long have you known?
- About a year now.

Who's gonna be around
for you, Q?

- I don't want
to let you down, Mia.

- You are their godmother
for a reason.

- I know that God has a plan.

[dramatic music]

This one is really hard
to accept.

[indistinct chatter]

- Thank you, Lance.
- Thank you.

[phone ringing]

- Fellas,
Quentin's getting married.

Yeah, and, Harp,
I want you to be my best man.

- [laughs]

[light music]

* *

Well, I did it.

Nearly a half a century old,

and I'm finally
figuring it all out.

Does it really take that long?

Finding our place
in the world,

achieving happiness...

[door clicks open]

- Mr. Stewart?

They're ready for you.

- It does.

* *

When I was younger,

I thought money
was everything.

Good career, get married,
nice crib, kids--

the dream, right?

But it's so much
more complicated than that.

* *

Being in successful
relationships--

marriages, friendships--
takes work.

None of us ever stop growing
or evolving.

* *

[cheers and applause]

We buy into
the "happily ever after" dream

and get married
because the clock is ticking.

* *

We may get married
because it's time.

* *

But how often do we meet
our soul mate?

* *

Life doesn't always go
the way we expect,

but somehow, if we're lucky,

we end up
where we're supposed to.

* *

[whistling]

- I am so excited
about our guest tonight.

From "The Real Housewives
of Westchester"

and star of her upcoming
reality series

"The Notorious She-L-B,"

please welcome the fabulous
Shelby Taylor.

You look great, Shelby.
How you been?

- Thank you.
I've been great.

I mean, new show,
new Notorious products.

I'm really excited.
- Right.

Well, before we get
to all that,

we've had an overwhelming
response from fans

who all have one thing
on their mind.

You know what it is?

- What is it?

- It is Quentin Spivey,

a major businessman
from a major family.

He's a major playboy.

More importantly,
he's your college buddy.

He's getting married.

- Is there a question?

- How do you feel about it?

- Well, Andy, as you--

- Shelby.
- [laughs]

You are terrible.

As you noted,
Quentin is a dear friend.

I mean, I'm happy for him.

- Are you?

I mean, some people
seem to think

there's more
to that relationship

than you're letting on.
- What people?

I mean, where would anyone get
such a thing?

- Well, earlier in the season,
when the news broke,

you seemed pretty upset.

Let me remind you.
- [scoffs]

- Watch.

[phone buzzing]
- Oh.

Hey.

He what?

That son of a bi--

[chuckles]

Hold on.

Okay, get--okay, okay,
stop, stop, stop.

[shouts indistinctly]
Move!

Move, move, move!
Okay, go--

[glass shattering]

Hold on. Hold on.

I'm getting in the car.

[tires squealing]

Who the [bleep] is she?

You gotta be
[bleep] kidding me.

Oh, this mo--oh, [bleep].

- * Won't you bring
that heat *

- Oh, oh!
[horn honks]

Oh, stop, stop!

Ahh! Taxi!

Ahh! [bleep].

- * Got a second for free *

- [screaming] Get out! Get out!

[glass shattering]

Are you [bleep] kidding me?

[all shouting indistinctly]

What the [bleep]?

- Oh, shit!
- [bleep]! Are you kidding me?

What is wrong with you?
I [bleep] hate you!

- Security!

- I hate you! I hate you!
- Ahh!

I hate you!
- Ahh!

Stop!
- Cut!

Cut the [bleep] camera--

[audience murmuring]

And?

- Shelby,
that's pretty strong stuff.

I mean, it seems like
the rantings

of a scorned lover, no?

- [laughs]

Andy, now why
you gotta get messy?

- Because I am messy.

- [laughs]
Don't even go there.

Quentin and I are friends.

- So you're happy for Quentin
and his beautiful bride-to-be?

- I don't even know who she is.

- Okay, well,
I'm gonna up the shady.

Let me introduce you.

- Oh.

[upbeat music playing]

- Xiomara Amani--

or as she is more
affectionately known

as the Unicorn

for her multi-hyphenate
identity.

Once an influencer,

Xio is a singer,
songwriter, performer,

actress, spokesmodel,
and businesswoman

who has apparently found
the love of her life.

* *

- [chuckles, clears throat]

[upbeat music]

* *

- [muttering indistinctly]

* *

[phone buzzing]

* *

I'm working on it, Stan.

- Harpy, are you sitting down?

- Yes.
- Liar.

I know you. You're at that

ergonomically correct
standing desk.

Anyway, listen.
I have got exciting news.

Hollywood has come a-calling.

They want to make
"Unfinished Business"

into a movie.

- Wait. My--my first novel?

- Oh, it is the gift

that keeps on giving.
- But--

- Now, don't question it,
my friend.

Accept it.

Hollywood is obsessed
with sequels,

so think about this:

"Unfinished Business."

"New Business."

"Back to Business."

"Open for Business."

How about that one? [chuckles]

I mean, this is what
you've been waiting for!

- It is?

- It's a brand-new
revenue stream.

You're always talking
about generational wealth.

This is a way to get it.

* *

- [sighs]

- Mm-hmm, I'll do the drum

and the skate
from the last time.

Yeah. Thursday's perfect.

Okay. Okay, bye.

- Hi, baby. Yes, yes, yes.
- Hey, baby.

- Hey, aren't we supposed
to be having dinner

with Murch and Candace tonight?

- Yeah. I'm ready.

Wow, sometimes I wish
I had done a frozen meal line.

3,000 weekly subscribers
is a lot.

- Wow.
This is really taking off.

I'm proud of you, baby.
- Thank you, baby.

- I still think you could use
a little bit of help, though.

- I can handle it.
- No, no. I know.

I know, but with Mia
and the business,

I just think
an extra pair of hands--

- So tell me about this movie.

- [sighs]
I don't know, Rob.

I want to be taken
more seriously as an artist.

The stuff I've been
putting out is...

- Successful.
Lauded by millions.

- Fluffy. Trite.

At least that's
what the critics say.

- To hell with the critics.

- Well, sometimes I agree.

I need to push myself.

Strive for better.

- Harper,
you're in a good place.

Lance's bio wasn't trite,

and the Bumper G series
is very lucrative.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

- So you think I should do
the movie?

- Well, that book caused
a lot of drama.

Maybe you should do
a temperature check

with your peeps first.
- Yes.

Agreed.
- And you know where to start.

- [sighs] L-Boogie.

- You said I could have it!

You've been using it forever.
- It's been five minutes.

- Girl, I am already naked
on the beach.

I swear I can't wait
for Q's wedding.

[groans] Every day, you know,

it's just the same thing.

Cooking, cleaning,

prospective student interviews,
tours.

A bitch needs
a change of scenery.

[laughs]

We barely made it here tonight.

- Where's Julian?

- Oh, circling the block
shamelessly

looking for a parking spot.

- Oh, Harper has
some good news.

They're making
"Unfinished Business"

into a movie.

- Oh, wow. The Bumper G one?

- Uh, no. My first novel.

- Oh. Oh--oh.

- What?
- No. That's cool.

I'm just saying I'm glad
that no one was around

chronicling
my college exploits, as--

- Like when you
were a stripper?

- Um, you know,
remember I told you

that was a very small part

of Mommy's
undergraduate experience?

- What's a stripper?

- I'll explain later.

- [sighs]
[laughter]

Oh, God.
Anyways, where was I?

Yes, yes. You know what?

It'll be good to share
some good news with your boy,

'cause, you know,
he is still tripping.

- Over the best man thing?
- Mm-hmm.

- I have known Quentin since
we've been in ninth grade.

It's nothing personal.

He loves Murch.
- I know that.

He knows that too.

He's just--he's overworked.

You know, we're opening
two new schools.

- That's right.
- It's a lot.

- Yeah.
- It's a lot.

- Congratulations
on that honor.

Yes. What was it called?
- Oh.

- The Black Smart Educated--

there are a lot of adjectives.

- [laughs] Progressive...

both: Black Educators...

- Of the Year Award.
- Of the Year Award.

Yes.
- Yep.

Um, Julian, he wants--
he wants me

to accept
on behalf of both of us,

which is crazy,
but anyways, um,

maybe just not mention this
whole best man thing, you know?

You know,
my man is very sensitive,

and, you know, I don't--
- Hey. Oh.

- Ah, hey!
both: Hey!

- Julian.
- I'm sorry for the delay.

- What's up, my man?

How you doing?
- I'm good.

- Julian, you look great.
- Hi. Thank you.

- My man.
- Oh.

Okay, no. Okay.
- You do!

- You don't have to walk
on eggshells

about the whole best man thing,
okay?

- Nobody's doing--

- You are indeed.

I am fine.
- Sit down. Sit down.

- [mouthing words]
- I'm fine.

Oh.

Valet parking
just took our drinks,

appetizers, and desserts.

- Okay, well, Mama's
gonna need a drink, so...

- Well...

What? This wedding trip
is really expensive.

Room and airfare are covered,

but babysitters
and the resort wear alone--

our travel budget
for the year is blown.

- Honestly, it's just, after
all of our family vacations,

you know, with the corn dogs
and height requirements,

we're actually
really looking forward

to some husband-and-wife time.

- Yes we are.
- Aren't we?

Right, honey?
- We are, my love.

- Are you two gonna have sex?

- Wow.
- Are you?

- [mouths word]
- Stop.

- What's sex?

- Um...
- Mm-hmm.

- It's like
a really yummy dessert.

- Ooh, then can I have sex?

- Okay.
I'm gonna have a drink as well.

It's--
- Sex sounds great.

* *

- Well, you put yourself
in that position.

- No. Andy fucking Cohen.

I can't with him.

Where is the wedding?

- Mm.
- Oh, God. Come on.

What is the big deal?

I'm not going.

- You're not invited.
- Fine.

I just thought you might want
to bring a friend along

for companionship,
since you are single.

Again.

- Nice try, but I need solitude

on this vacation, okay?

It's time for a reset.

Brian was great.

We just didn't have
that forever thing,

and I don't know.

My heart wasn't in it
like that.

- I'm sorry, J.

So who's next?

- Nobody is next.

I don't need a man right now.
I'm good.

I'm gonna pool hard,
beach hard, spa real hard,

and I'm probably gonna
have to do some work.

- [sighs]

- Listen,
ratings have been tenuous,

and when the going gets rough
in corporate America,

a Black woman in a C suite--

- Oh, God. Bleh, bleh, bleh.
Stop!

I need you to get
out of your head for once.

Loosen up.

Be spontaneous.

- I am spontaneous.

I am not that anal.

- Anal would be an improvement.

- Okay. Well, whatever.

The point is,
between work and spending time

with the Sullivan kids,
I'm good.

I'm great.

- Well, since you have
made that

your new part-time job,

how are Lance and the kids
doing anyway?

- Mm.

- So is this like
an intervention?

- Oh, no, it is
an intervention, all right?

He canceled lunch on me
five times.

- Oh, no, not Lance.
- Five times.

- What do you think
it is, alcohol?

Cocaine. Cocaine?

- What? No, no.

He's knee-deep in ass.

- Oh. Yeah, that tracks.

People cope with grief
differently.

So he doesn't know
about the movie?

- Uh-uh.

- Are you writing
the screenplay?

Who's playing me?

- It hasn't gotten
that far yet, Murch.

- Well, you should write it,
'cause nobody knows us

better than you do, Harp.

Also, I'm not that same
neurotic, henpecked guy

I used to be
in the first novel.

I'm that dude now.

- What do you mean,
"that dude"?

- Well, you know.

I'm thatdude.

That's what the kids say.
They say it all the time.

Like, "That's that dude," so...

- That's that--okay, well--
- You know.

- Well, "that dude" or not,
I'm gonna tell everybody.

I can't have folks
feeling blindsided.

I want everyone's blessing
this time around.

- That's very mature, Harp.

- Thank you very much.
- Yeah. You're welcome.

So how much is my blessing
worth to you, best man?

[funky music]

- Are you serious?

- Step aside, and it's yours.

- Murch, it's not up to me.

- Here's what I'm proposing--

- Oh.

Oy. Ha.

Ha!

[clears throat]
What's up, Lance?

I would hug you
but not with that on the loose.

- Oh, yeah. My bad.

Come on in, y'all.

- You look terrible, Lance.

I mean, hey,
are you feeling okay?

- * Rack city, bitch,
rack, rack city, bitch *

- Hello.
both: Hi.

- I'm Julian,
and this is--this is Harper.

- Cool.

You come to join the party?

- * Look at the paint
on the car *

- The party? [laughs]

I--um, we're friends of--
how do you know Lance?

- Ladies, could you guys
give us a few?

- * Get it in the morning
like Alonzo *

* Rondo, green got cheese
like a nacho *

- I like the little one.
He cute.

- * Don't get bapped *

- Masseuses.

What?

They help me relax.

- Lance, they look like they
were built in a factory.

- They probably were.

- Look, L, I can understand
how losing Mia

and retiring all at once--
it's a lot...

- Mm-hmm.
- But you can't do this.

You can't hole yourself up
like this.

It's not the answer.

- Yeah, but I can't go home,
Harp.

She's everywhere.

She's in the clothes.

She's in the furniture,

the kids' faces.

It still hurts.

- Mia's gonna always
be with you,

but...she would not be happy

with this kind of--
this activity.

- Oh, you think I feel good
about this?

I'm ashamed.

Well, until they start
throwing that ass back on me.

Twerking and clapping
and clapping and twerking...

[sighs] I lose control.

- That's when you lose control?

- And then they got
these magic mouths, right?

They put these Pop Rocks--
- Okay, okay, okay.

I think we--

- Thank God you got
the vasectomy.

- Right?

Lance, you didn't--
- Okay, look, I strap up.

Okay, most of the time,
I strap up.

80% of the time.

70?

75--
75% of the time, I strap up.

- Gonorrhea. Syphilis. Herpes.

- HPV. AIDS.

- I know, I know.

But Mia was my rock.

How am I supposed
to replace that?

- Not by getting your dick
massaged by them.

- Lance, just baby steps.

You know, start dating.

- No, no, no.

I don't want anybody else.

I don't ever want to care
that much again.

- Okay, I feel you on that,

but you need
a change of scenery,

so come with us
to Quentin's wedding.

- Yes, yes.

Be surrounded by people

that love you and loved Mia.

It's guaranteed to put
a smile on your face.

- Maybe.

- Okay, okay.

Great.

And then if the time is right,
you know,

I can update you
on a couple of things.

- No. Tell him now.
No time like the present.

- Or the future.

The future's cool.

You know, we can all have
a big best man meeting

and chop it up, okay?

- Okay, okay.
I like that. I like that.

But I do have a question
for the best man.

- What's up?
- Yeah, go--

- Okay.

- Did you fuck the Unicorn?

* *

- Not even in my dreams.

- You're a better man than me.

- Me too.

What do you think they're doing
back there?

- Whoo!

- * Well, I don't really care
what people say *

* I don't really watch
what dem waan do *

* Got a lot of damsel
in my bed *

* To run that re-ed *

* Well, enough, likkle girl *

* Dem bought they own,
dem got di goody goody *

* One ting mi haffi tell dem
Dutty got di woody woody *

[indistinct chatter]

- But I'm telling you.

Oh, it's so hot,
but this weekend,

it's gonna be nothing
but sun, spirit,

and tantric sex.

You know that means
you gotta hold it?

- Between you and I,
do you think

Harper seems
a little nonchalant

about his best man duties?
- What?

Wait.
Did you hear what I just said?

Baby, you have to hold it.
- Yeah, yeah. Hold it.

Yeah.
Just give me--I'll hold it.

I'll--whatever you want.

- We've never tried that.

[laughter]

- Welcome to San Pierre.

- Well, thank you.

I'm glad to be here.

- * Well, I don't really care
what people say *

* I don't really watch
what dem waan do *

* Still I got to stick
to my girls like glue *

* And I man nah
play number two *

* All I know the time
it is getting dread *

* Need a lot of trees up
in my head *

* Got a little damsel
in my bed *

* To run that re-ed *

* Some guy a live dem life and
dem nuh really waan check it *

* Dem have nuh girl, nuh wife,
nuh woman, dem nah select it *

- Well, will you look at that?

- [laughs]

The Spivey Grand.
- Ooh, gorgeous.

- Right?
- This is fabulous.

- I heard that.
- We're on vacation, aren't we?

- Greetings, everyone.

Welcome to paradise.

- Hey.
- Oh, wow.

She glides. Look at her.

[dreamy music]

* *

- [sighs]
- Ooh!

- Beautiful.
- So glad y'all could make it.

- Oh!
- And Harp, my main man.

It's so good to see you, man.
- Congrats.

Congrats, man.

- It is my great pleasure
to introduce you

to the love of my eternal life,

Xiomara Amani.

all: Hi, Xiomara!
[laughter]

- I mean, the pleasure
is all mine.

I've heard so much
about all of you.

- Well, your reputation
precedes you.

- My reputation?

[chuckles]
What reputation?

- Oh, I'm just--
you're, uh, famous.

That's all.
- So you think you know me?

- No, no, no.

I mean, we all know you.

- I recognize you.
- I've seen some movies.

- I would never presume
to know anything about you

until I've actually met you.
- Guys.

- Me either.
- This is--

- Harper, apologize.

- I mean, I'm not saying
I know you, know you.

Like, I'm--okay.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Mm-hmm.

- I'm sorry, Xiomara.

- I'm just fucking with you,
Harper.

[laughter]

- Oh!

- Oh, my God.

[laughs]
- Oh, God.

- She had you too!
- You are so bad!

- Boop-boop!
- Give her her Oscar right now.

She had the best man
all off-kilter, like...

- I wasn't so off-kilter.
Just a little.

- You must be
Murch and Candace.

- Yes. Candace.

- The Progressive
Black Educators of the Year

are here.

Thank you for your service.
- Wow.

- Thank you,
and you're welcome?

Is that what we say?
- That's right.

- You know, I speak
at about four schools a year.

Such a noble profession.

Asé.
- [coughing]

Sorry.
- You all right?

- Ooh, that sage. It's pungent.

Um, I may have
an allergy, actually.

- Oh, no! That's nonsense.

Nobody's allergic to sage.

Don't be ridiculous.
She's so funny.

[laughter]
- Right?

Isn't she great?
- Yeah.

- I'm choking.
- Oh, baby,

I'll get some water.
I'll get water.

Get water.
- Wow. Wow.

This setting is amazing.
- Yeah. Beautiful.

- It is--the vibes are so good.
- Yeah. Good vibes.

- Oh, God.
- Congratulations.

- Congratulations.
- Hear, hear.

It means so much
to have you all here

to celebrate the union
of Qu'iomara.

- Say--say what now?

- Qu'iomara.

That's adorable.

- Is it?
- Right?

- Absolutely.

Harper, if I may?

- No, no.
- If I--babe--okay.

Here we go. Listen. Okay.
- All right.

Uh...[laughs]

He is but a man.

She a queen
beyond the star'ras.

Couples near and far

bow down to the union
of Qu'iomara.

[mystical music]

- [whispering] Oh, my God.

That is so beautiful.

- [laughs] It's my pleasure.

It's just something
that the best man would do.

- Hey.
- [clears throat]

- So where's
the handsome football star?

- Yeah. Where's Lance?

- [moaning]

Oh, nah stop now.

Nah stop. Nah stop.

- Oh, he's coming.

Soon.
- Yep.

Any second now.

- Looks like we need
some rum punches over here.

all: Oh!

- Yeah.
- What's up?

- Everyone, this is Jasmine.

She will be your facilitator

while you're here
on the island.

- Yes.
- Anything you need,

she will be happy to provide.

- With pleasure.

Now, get settled in,
review your itineraries,

and we'll see you soon.

- Excellent.
- Welcome to San Pierre.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, Jasmine.

- Of course.
- To Quentin and Xiomara.

[all cheering]

- * Lay you down easy *

* La-la-la-la-la-la,
lay you down easy *

* Ey, yeah *

* So love, I'm trying
to lay you down easy *

- [sighs]

Mm.

- * La-la-la-la-la-la,
lay you down easy *

- Qu'iomara?

- They're in love.
It's so cute.

- I have never seen Q
act like this,

and then all that sage shit?

It's still in my nostrils,
you know.

No, and then Murch with all
this best man bullshit.

What kind of friend would I be

if I refused
to be Quentin's best man?

Y'all don't know him
how I do,

but he--

he seems...different.

- New love is intoxicating.

Be happy for him.

- I'm trying to be,
but this is some weird shit.

The Q I knew
would've had jokes.

Lots of jokes.

- I don't find anything funny.

Do you?

[seductive music]

- Oh, shit.

* *

Does that taste
as good as it looks?

- Why don't you come over here
and find out?

* *

[sighs]

[moans]

- Do you see this place?

It is fantastic.

Look at it!

- Nice view,
but the décor--ugh.

- Oh, my God,
it is beautiful,

and it's classy.

It's totally upscale.

Please don't hate,
and I'm not even supposed to

be on here with you like that.
- Whatever.

Is that supposed to be
your "don't fuck me" outfit?

'Cause it's missing
the "don't."

- Well, I want you
to see all of it,

and by the way,
I need you to stop

with all the check-ins, okay?
- Okay.

Well, I'm just trying to
keep you honest with yourself.

- I'm very honest with myself

and honestly tired
of you calling me.

Goodbye.
- Bye--

- Jeez.

[phone buzzing]

Ugh.

Hi. This is Jordan.

Yeah. Sure.

Patch me in.

[light music]

Mm-hmm.

* *

Uh, no problem.

- And we put you
in our luxury villa

with a spectacular ocean view.

There's an informal gathering
at the private pool

and a groomsman meeting
following--

seems like you have
some admirers.

* *

- Guess y'all
get football here.

- We watch American football.
Yes.

- American football?

- Forgive me, Mr. Sullivan.

Where I come from,
we don't use our hands

in the true version
of football.

- The true version.

That's cute. True version?

Football is the number one
sport in the world, sweetheart.

- Right.

That explains the World Cup.

Enjoy your stay.

If you need anything,
my name is Jasmine.

* *

- Thank you.

- My pleasure, Mr. Sullivan.

- A movie?
- Yeah.

- That is amazing.
That's fantastic.

- I guess it's
a great opportunity, right?

- Yes, of course.

It's an ode to the '90s.

Our carefree college days
on full display.

I love it.
- I don't know.

Seeing my work
on the big screen

for everybody else's
interpretation,

it's kinda scary.

Plus, you know what they say.

The book's always better
than the movie.

- Well, in success,
you get to dictate the rules

or make enough money where
you just don't give a fuck.

- I think I'll always care
what other people think, so...

- Oh, Harper, stop it.

You're just being
a sensitive artist.

- [laughs]

- You know, I'm gonna have
to read the book again,

because I remember
that Kendall character.

- Mm-hmm.
- She was a little intense.

- Intense?

- "Driven by her
unflinching ambitions."

I'm pretty sure you wrote that.

- That was you
back in the day.

- I'm just saying
that Black women

are always judged for being
direct and ambitious.

I deal with this shit
every day,

so if you're gonna
represent us,

I want you to represent us
properly.

- Well, I want that.

That's one of my main concerns.

- So what did Robyn think about
this jaunt down memory lane?

- She's the one
who encouraged full disclosure.

- Good.
- So she's cool.

- Smart lady. What about Lance?

You know you're gonna
have to give him time

to wrap his mind
around all of this.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I'm just trying
to find the right time--

it's actually Murch.

Murch is the one who's
holding his blessing hostage

until he's made best man.

- Are you kidding me?
- Uh-uh.

- Give it to him.

We're in the middle
of a train wreck.

Do you not see this chaos?

What is going on with Q?

- Thank you.

I thought I was
the only one who noticed.

[laughter, indistinct chatter]

- No, seriously,
what is he thinking?

- Hey. What's up, guys?
- Oh!

- Yeah!

[indistinct chatter]

- That was weird.

- Is your room great?
- My room is fabulous.

- Good, good, good.
You guys are coming, right?

- Oh, yeah.
Do you want to come join us?

- I'm gonna come.

I just need to make
one phone call,

and I will be right there.

- One call or three?
You know the sun sets at 6:30.

- Okay, Harper.
- Okay.

- Hey, Harper?
- Yes?

- Do you know
who I want to play me?

- Who?
- Beyoncé.

Get your coins together,
brother.

- [scoffs] Bye.
- [laughs]

- I should call Mom
and check on Mia.

Wow, it's so beautiful here.

Listen to the wind.

I wish every day
were like this.

Let your spirit guide you.
I want more.

I need to see more
than this resort.

Calm breaths. Inhale.
[inhales deeply]

Exhale.
[exhales heavily]

I am one with Mother Earth.

No work.
Listen to your spirit.

Be here now.

[calming music]

* *

What happened to all that
relaxing you were gonna do?

- [sighs] I know.

I'm just--I'm trying to figure
out this acceptance speech.

I mean, what do I say
that's, like, I don't know,

worthy of all this?

- Well, I'm gonna go
on a beach walk

while the groomsmen
are in their meeting.

Want to join?

- Uh, no. Thank you, baby.

I'm good, though. Have fun.

- Okay. I'll see you later.

- We need to go
through the slate

before we can determine
what the budgets are gonna be.

Kind of step one.

Oh, bye, gorgeous.

Yeah. No, no. Sorry. Not you.

That was Harper's wife, Robyn.

- I beg your pardon, ma'am.
- Hold on, sweetie.

One second.

Hi.
- Sorry.

We're out of the swordfish.

- What do you mean
you're out of the swordfish?

It's the special.

How can you be out
of the special this early?

I'm so sorry,
but you don't understand.

I'm actually a guest
of the owner

of the whole establishment.

You need to go back in the
kitchen, talk to a manager,

and find a piece of fish,
or go fishing.

Yeah. Sorry.

- Excuse me.
- Uh-huh.

- Did you say swordfish?
- I did.

- I think I got the last piece.
- Okay.

- I tend to go straight
to the fish on the menu,

but if they're out,
you're more than welcome to it.

- I'm so sorry, but I am fine.

- Indeed you are. Model fine.

[both laugh]

- I'm sorry. What did you say?

- I'm Will.

- Hi, Will.

- I hate to see
a beautiful sister

upset about a piece of fish.

Perhaps this is the universe
offering you

an unexpected opportunity
via a handsome stranger.

- Well, thank you, universe.

I don't need your fish.

- Well, it's not mine
until I bite it.

[playful music]

- [chuckles]
Okay, well--

- Going once.

Going twice.

- Excuse me. Stop it.

Excuse me, I'm gonna
take the snapper.

- Snapper?
- Yes.

- Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm.

- * Occasional love *

- Oh, man.

I done been
with some badass babes,

but the Unicorn, nigga?
Whoo!

- Yeah, so how did
y'all meet again?

- It was business, right?

A photo shoot for one
of the brands you manage.

- My man Murch always on point.

Yeah, well, she was having a
little issue with her wardrobe,

so they sent me in
to talk to her.

- And the Q charm did the rest.

- Hell no.
Bitch cursed me out.

[laughter]

It was like she was
waiting for somebody

to kiss her ass,
which I wasn't gonna do,

until I saw it in that thong.

[laughter]

- Then the nigga puckered up.
Pucker up!

- Baby girl asked
for my number on the DL,

and we've been
talking ever since.

- And smashing ever since.

[laughter]
- Of course.

- Oh, yeah,
but it's beautiful, man.

It's really beautiful.

I'm thinking about settling
down, having some kids,

and leave a legacy
behind that's not just about

real estate or luxury resorts
and shit, you know?

- Wow.

- Q, are you--
look, are you sure?

- You have to be
supportive, Harper.

As the best man,
that's your job, right?

- Oh, I know my job, Murch.
- All right. Relax.

It's a little aggressive.
[laughs] You know?

I'm just here to help.

In fact, you know,
I have secured

for the occasion...

* Edibles *

- Damn, Murch.

- I have a local connect.
- I certainly hope so.

- What a lovely gesture,
my brother, but unfortunately,

I don't fuck with weed no more.

- Get out of here.
[laughter]

Okay, sure. Yeah.
- Okay.

- Seriously.

- Wait, what? Since when?

- Xiomara got me on this
new-new shit, you know?

Love my body, my temple,
you know, the way she does.

[peaceful music]

But y'all enjoy yourselves,
man, go.

I'm good.

- Sure hope they have
a return policy.

- Before you do that, hold on.

Some of these locals
need some practice.

- Okay.
- [laughs]

- Uh, Lance, can I holler
at you right quick?

- Yeah,
what's on your mind, Harp?

- Um--
- Another one bites the dust!

- Dad, you made it.

- Aw, congratulations again,
Quentin.

- Good to see you again,
Mr. Spivey.

- Harper.
- Yes.

- You're bald.

How's that baby?

- Uh, growing.
Getting bigger and bigger.

- Well, don't let her get fat.

Fat girls
don't stand a chance--

unless they're smart,
and even then...

- Thank you.
Uh, that's encouraging.

- Now, you're still...

writing?
- Writing. Yes, I am.

Even got a couple
of best sellers under my belt.

Maybe some screenplays.

[upbeat music]

Like for movies?

- Hey, how are you, sir?

- Oh, good.
- Good.

- Appleton. Straight.

Three cubes
and keep 'em coming.

- No, Dad.
Dad, this is Julian.

Murch.
My roommate from college.

- Oh.
- Best friend?

- Yes. I remember now.

You used to date
that shrew from the TV.

Good thing you got rid of her.
- Yeah.

- Your balls
would have been in a vise.

You married a stripper, right?

- Well, she was working
her way through college,

and we connected
through Audre Lorde,

and we have two children now--

- Mr. Sullivan.

Gridiron star.

Listen, life kicks us
in the balls sometimes.

- Right.
- How you coping?

- Pussy, sir.

Lots of pussy.

- [laughs]

That's as good a vise as any.

Quentin.

- Yes.

- I had my lawyers
look at the contract

that Xiomara's people
sent over.

We are very close.

- We have to do this now?

- Son, you're taking over
the family business.

If your fiancée
is to be the face

of Spivey Properties Worldwide,

there's no time
like the present.

There's a legacy here.

Build on it.
- Yes, sir.

- Now, where is that bartender
with my pirate j--

ah, there he is!

Come on, now.
- You all right?

- Yes, sir. Coming right up.

- This is a lot of cannabis.

- * Baby *

* My sweet baby *

* I'm longing to hold you
in my arms *

* Won't you come home *

* Won't you come home, baby *

* Won't you come home *

* Won't you come home, baby *

* Won't you come home *

- Please take this
to the [indistinct].

Debone that fish.
We gonna serve it right away.

Be careful with that corn.

So we gonna talk
about tonight's menu.

We gonna do the lobster,

the shrimp-stuffed plantains,
cassava.

Oh. Hi.
- Hi. I'm sorry.

I just--it smelled so good,
I couldn't help but come over.

- Don't apologize. Come in.

What's your name?
- I'm Robyn.

- Robyn. You're very pretty.

- Oh.
- I'm Savannah.

- How long have you
had this stand?

- 20 years now.

I never seem
to get tired of it.

Sharing my cooking with people
from all around the world

is healing for me.

Come. Try.

- What is it?
- It's love.

- Oh.

Love.

[steel drum music]

* *

Mmm.
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, my God.

That is love.
[both laugh]

- You always said
the right woman

would come along
and change my life.

- I did, I did, but, uh,

are you sure you're not
rushing into this?

This is all--
it's kinda sudden.

- I don't know.

I look around, and I see
how happy you and Murch are

and how happy Lance was.

You know, when Mia died,
I was fucked up.

Couldn't shake the feeling
that, you know,

I could spend the rest
of my life alone, and...

I didn't like that.

And then Xio came along right
when I needed her the most

and like a gift from heaven
or something, man.

- Yeah.
Well, she is the Unicorn.

- Yeah, she is.

I needed a partner, Harp.

She elevates me.

- And the family brand.

- [laughs]
- I mean, I'm just saying.

- Don't get it twisted.
I mean...

marrying a global superstar

does come with some benefits,
but I'm in love, nigga.

- Well, shit.
Then I'm happy for you.

Congratulations, man.
- Thank you, baby.

Congrats to your ass too,
nigga.

You doing movies and shit.

- I'm trying to,
you know, branch out.

- Yeah. You talk to Lance yet?
- I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

I'm just waiting for a time
when he's not as distracted.

- Don't linger on that shit
too long, you know.

For the record, I think
he's gonna be cool with it.

- Yeah?

- We grown now,
doing adult things.

You know, I'm getting married,

taking on the family business,
moving to Tibet.

Shit changes, like--

- Hold up. You said Tibet?
- Yeah.

We're thinking
about splitting our time

between there and Durango.

You ever been?

- No--no.
- I'm talking about serenity.

- Hey.

Well, what are you dudes
out here talking about, huh?

- He's moving to Tibet.

- What?
- And Colorado.

- How are you gonna avoid weed
out there, man?

Wait. Is that Lance?

- * Whole lotta lovin' *

* And a whole lotta things
to do *

- Oh, no.
[people gasping]

This is not good.

- That fool done lost
his damn mind.

- * Whole lotta lovin' *

* And a whole lotta pleasure
to give *

- Whoo! Come on!

Who's getting in?

Let's get this party started!

Come on, now,
the water's warm!

Bathing suits optional!

- * Me say ya kill me
with ya bumble *

* And ya kill me
with ya wine *

[camera shutter snapping]

- I'd say you're
blocking the path,

but I'm distracted by the view.

- Did you just take
a picture of me?

- Couldn't help it.

- You know that's
an invasion of my privacy.

- My apologies.

Stressing you out
is not my intention.

- Are you a photographer
by trade?

- I dabble in a few
different things.

Lately tech.

My buddies and I identified
a need and filled it.

We go public in the new year.

- Well, good for you.

- Mm, thank you,
but these past six months

have been intense stuff.
I needed this break.

- [laughs] You're stressed out
after six months?

Really? Wow.

- [laughs] Okay, okay.
Let me guess.

You'd rather work 24/7,
eat at your desk,

sleep with your cell phone,
and maybe take Sundays off

to eat brunch
with your girlfriends,

and you call that vacation.

- Uh, just for the record,

I don't sleep
with my cell phone.

- Okay.
Well, what do you sleep with?

- Definitely not strangers
who take unsolicited photos.

- Ah. So your laptop.

- No. Not my laptop.

[both chuckle]
- Okay.

Well, you enjoy
your work-cation,

my beautiful sister.

I'll make sure I get
this photo to you.

- Okay.
- All right.

- Bye, chocolate.

[inhales sharply] Ooh.

* *

- Take care.

[sighs]

- Bye.

- Oh, hey. Uh, Jasmine, right?

- Right you are, Mr. Sullivan.
- Yeah.

Look, sorry about
the pool earlier.

I thought it was one of those
clothing-optional resorts.

- Hmm.
- It won't happen again.

- Have you ever been
to San Pierre?

- No, I haven't.

- Then I encourage you
to explore more.

My country has a lot to offer.

Perhaps you'll discover
why your friends chose this

as their sacred destination.

- Maybe I will.
- Excellent.

Dinner is at 8:00, and your
villa is just around the bend.

In case you've gotten lost.

- Right. This--okay.
- Mm-hmm.

- Thank you.
- Sure.

* *

- He gave up weed,
and he's moving to Tibet.

Who--who moves to Tibet?

- Honey, you should be
happy for him.

- I want to, baby.

Honest to God, I want to,
but this--it's like

this is an arranged marriage,

and I don't put it
past Wellington.

- Let me get this straight--
so the man finds

the love of his life,
gives up cannabis

for his own health,
starts listening to his elders,

and you, the best man,
have a problem with that?

- Yes, Murch.

Yes. Yes, I do.
- Okay.

- It's Quentin
we're talking about.

- Okay. All right.

- You know what, babe?
- Yeah?

- You look so handsome.
- Thanks, babe. Thanks.

I hope the happy couple
notices.

- Oh, I'm glad
that's what matters to you.

[mellow reggae music playing]

* *

- Ah, Mr. Sullivan.

[chuckles]

Smartly and appropriately
dressed for dinner.

- Well, I'm glad
I'm passing muster.

- [laughs]
With flying colors.

- So is this, um--

this what you were
talking about?

- Yes.
Well, that is a sight.

We can take credit
for some enhancements,

but the rest is God's work.

- Amen.

Amen.

Yeah, my wife,
she would have, uh--

she would have loved this.

[sentimental music]

* *

- Of that, I have little doubt,
Mr. Sullivan.

- Call me Lance.

I mean, no,
you don't have to, but look.

I know you're just
being respectful.

It's too formal.

I'm just Lance.

- Dinner is starting shortly,
Mr.--

Mr. Lance.

* *

[indistinct chatter]

[laughter]

- The same
excellent taste in women

that his father had.
- Mm-hmm.

- I bet if we snuck off
and went back

to the villa for an hour,
no one would even notice.

[phone buzzing]
- That's my weed connect.

I need to get
our investment back.

One second. Hello?

Yes. Yes.

- You okay?

- I'm gonna get us some drinks.
- Thank you, baby.

- Yeah.
- Yes.

What's going on?

- Okay.
- Hey. Where you going?

- I'm gonna get some drinks.
You see the girls, right?

- Oh, yeah. Of course.
- There they go.

[giggles]

[phone buzzing]

- Oh, hey, Jordan.
Oh, my!

You look so pretty!
- She looks gorgeous.

- I'm so sorry I'm late.

- Oh, no problem.
- No, it's fine.

- [sighs]

- I gotta tell y'all
about my experience today.

I met this chef.
- Mm-hmm?

- She does all farm-to-table.

- Ooh!
- And it was incredible.

I spent all afternoon
laughing and eating

with her and her husband.

Oh, it was amazing.

They're actually
catering here tonight.

- Ooh.
- Oh, there she is.

I'm gonna go steal
some recipes.

- Okay.
- This one is always working.

- I know.

- You must have
a return policy of some kind.

The seals haven't even
been broken.

- L-Boogie. What's happening?

- Well, let's see, I had sex
with the turndown lady,

a tourist--two tourists.

Limo driver.

- Damn, Lance.

- Harper, you the one
that told me to come here.

- I know,
but I didn't mean for--

read a book or go on a hike.

Go snorkeling.
- Jet Ski. Golf.

- Rollerblade. Anything.

Okay.

Anyway, um, I've been
meaning to speak to you.

Nothing's set in stone,

but I've been made an offer

to adapt "Unfinished Business"

into a movie.

- Okay. Okay.

Congrats, dog.

- Okay. Thanks. Thanks.

I'm taking it seriously,
but I just

wanted to run it
by everybody, you know,

so there weren't any surprises.

[glass clinking]

- Welcome again, everyone.

This is Spivey Property's
eighth resort

in the Caribbean.

And what better way
to christen it

than with the wedding
of my son, Quentin,

and his beautiful fiancée,

the incomparable Xiomara Amani?

[cheers and applause]

- Xiomara, we are thrilled

to welcome you
to the Spivey family.

- Thank you, Wellington.
[chuckles]

- [laughs]

- I am...so elated.

I feel as though--oh.

Sorry.

- Blessings. Blessings.

Blessings.

- People try to make
a big deal about...

Xiomara Amani
the supermodel,

the multiple
Grammy Award winner,

the Golden Globe winner,
the Teen Choice Award winner,

the Tony Award winner,
the BET Award...

- She's lying.
I know she didn't win that.

- MTV.
- MTV Award winner.

- For the movie.
- The animation.

But really, Xio is just
a girl from the South Side

of Chicago, via the Gold Coast,
who fell in love with a boy

from Washington, D.C.

- Isn't that
out of "Notting Hill"?

- A boy who enchanted me
with his heart,

his serenity,

and his soulful eyes.

A boy who penetrated my soul

with his soul.

Asé.

[light applause]

- Definitely.
- I love this woman.

[sighs]

We're really honored
to have you guys here

to participate in
the solidarity of our union

by watching us
and our ring ceremony.

- Ring ceremony?

- You don't have the rings?

Some best man.

- Nigga, if you don't--

[soft melancholy music]

- And this is not
the typical ring ceremony...

- I love you, Lance Sullivan.

- Since our love is forever
and we are forever bonded,

we're going to have
matching tattoo rings.

Mm. Thank you.

[indistinct chatter]

- Are we supposed to just sit
here while they do this shit?

- You see?
What did I tell you?

- Yeah, well,
the wedding is in two days,

so we don't have a choice.

- Once those tattoo rings dry,
there's no turning back.

- He's made his choice, Harper.

- This is not right.

I don't like this.
This is not right.

- So he's trying to derail
this wedding too, huh?

- What are you talking about?

- Quentin's always been
a good judge of character,

as far as I'm concerned.

- Uh, well, respectfully, I
don't think he's...

[scoffs]
Uh, uh, thinking clearly.

- Well, maybe he isn't,
but that's what happens

when you're in love
with somebody.

That's what happens.
- Okay. All right.

I'm just trying
to look out for Q.

- Like you're looking out
for all of us

with that movie adaptation,
right?

- Lance, you--

nothing is finalized,
and I wanted

to get everybody's blessing.

- Well, Mia's dead,
so how you gonna do that?

[tense music]

- Okay. I'm sorry.

We don't have
to talk about this now.

We can talk about this
when you're ready.

- Well, I'm never gonna be
ready for any of this shit.

Didn't want to come here and be
reminded of everything I lost.

- Hey.

- Not to relive
the fucking past.

You know, when's this gonna end
for you, man?

- Lance, I don't know
where this is--

- You know what?
- [yelps]

- Shh.

- It's okay, baby.

- Well, this would not have
happened on my best man watch.

Just saying. I'm just saying.

- Can you please stop?
- What?

- All you do is, you just
obsess about being best man.

- What? I'm not obsessed.

I'm--really, I'm fine.

- No, you are not.

You know, I can admit, yes,

I'm obsessed
with saying the right thing

for this acceptance speech,

but do I let it run my life?
No.

- Okay.
- You have to stop,

or maybe you need to marry Q,

and y'all can call
y'all selves Qu'urch.

- Or, you know, maybe...
Qu'lian.

- So you've thought about it.
Wow.

That's really fucking great.

- No, babe.
I--babe, I was--hey!

I was--it was--hold--

- What in the hell is
going on over here, Harper?

- I'm not even in that.
I'm not in that.

- Dad, Dad, Dad, I'm sorry.

Let's just enjoy
the rest of the ceremony.

This weekend will go without
a hitch from here forward.

- Julian!

[Princess Nokia's "Diva"]

- No, no, no, no.

Are you s--
- I'm sorry.

Old habits.

What I meant to say is...

Hello, Quentin.

- * I feel like Beyoncé *

- Oh, shit.

- * I feel like Shakira *

* Lemonade, I'm juicy *

* Hips don't lie, Selena *

* Britney, Christina *

* Rest in peace, Aaliyah *

* I feel like a goddess,
I feel like a diva *

* I'm a pop star, rock star,
bad bitch *

* Go on, call me savage *

* I'm a top dog, win 'em all *

* Call the shots on God,
do damage, yeah *

* Iconic, iconic, I got it *

* I flaunt it,
yeah, that's me *

* Billboard, I'm charting *

* Top dollar, song credit,
it's destiny *

* Yo, how the hell I get on *

* I was feeling like a queen
takin' hits from a bong *

* I done went from underground
go ahead of us all *

* Now I'm on the mainstream
doing radio songs *

* And I look to all the queens
that inspire me *

* Feeling like a higher me,
feeling like Aaliyah, 1993 *

* I does this entirely
and I know they proud of me *

* Channeling their energy,
yeah *

* I feel like Beyoncé *

* I feel like Shakira *

* Lemonade, I'm juicy *

* Hips don't lie, Selena *

* Britney, Christina *

* Rest in peace, Aaliyah *

* I feel like *

- [giggles]

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