Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,426
- Yeah, I do like that.
I got the fancy look, see?
2
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,094
- Yeah. Let me get the--
3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:13,012
- You touch it--make sure you
buy it if you touch it now.
4
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,305
- I just want to get my candy.
5
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:15,598
- I can get you
that right there.
6
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,183
- Hey. Hey. Hey.
Hey, man. No, no.
7
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,519
No more Now and Laters.
More like never nevers.
8
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:21,730
I told you last customer
three "last customers" ago.
9
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,690
Sir, stop buying.
- Oh, is that the Simeons?
10
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,316
- That's the Simeons.
- Turner.
11
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,445
- Brothers
and broth-ettes, uh...
12
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,947
Oh, nice. An African
marketplace--I'm with that.
13
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:32,532
- I'm going on break.
Watch my shit.
14
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,659
- I got you.
- Case you need to make change.
15
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:35,952
- Chongos.
16
00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:37,829
Speaking of,
on theme, on theme,
17
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:40,999
this is a cultural initiative
that my office is sponsoring.
18
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,333
Brother, why don't
you read it aloud?
19
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:43,877
Tell everybody what it's about.
20
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,587
- I have
a Samsung Galaxy II Plus.
21
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,380
Do you have
a power cord for that?
22
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:52,302
- So, uh, 51st Ward's
Kwanzaa Film Fest.
23
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:53,511
- Film fest?
24
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:57,640
- Winner gets $500.
25
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,601
- ♪ I was born
on the South Side ♪
26
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:01,478
♪I was raised
on the South Side ♪
27
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,438
♪ Everybody stick together
like we in the line ♪
28
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:05,398
♪ 'Cause it ain't no side
like the South Side ♪
29
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,733
♪ On the South Side ♪
30
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:08,026
♪ South Side ♪
31
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:09,736
- Wow, this is great.
32
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,821
You already wrote your script
for the contest?
33
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,490
- No, I've been working
on this project.
34
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,408
The contest just giving
me an opportunity
35
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,118
to finally make it.
36
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:20,121
It's a reality show about
having to save a cotillion.
37
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,664
- Ooh.
38
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,666
- That sounds like a voluptuous
opportunity for drama.
39
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,084
- 'Cause it is.
- Yes.
40
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:27,086
- Wait. You actually wrote
a reality show?
41
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:30,173
- Yeah, they're all written.
I mean, I can show you--
42
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:31,591
Not you.
- Mm-mm.
43
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:33,176
- Damn.
- Mm-mm.
44
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,511
- I could show anybody
a script,
45
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,012
'cause, yes,
they're all written.
46
00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:37,764
- And it's about Kwanzaa?
47
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:40,016
- Girl...
well, I'll figure that out.
48
00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:41,935
- And that part...
[laughter]
49
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:47,398
[sweeping music]
50
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:54,030
♪ ♪
51
00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:56,324
- My name is Dr. Princess.
52
00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:59,035
I'm a world-class surgeon,
and these gifted hands
53
00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:01,996
are Rated E
for "every bitch."
54
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,832
- I got the gift.
55
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:08,211
I talk to the spirits of our
ancestors, and they talk back.
56
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:11,214
- I believe rumors
are like hot and heavy legs.
57
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:15,552
They're just itching
to be spread.
58
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:17,720
- I sell crack.
59
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,973
- I ain't got time.
60
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,225
That was drama.
61
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,228
I'll call you back.
62
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,230
- It's my way or the highway.
63
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:32,402
And after my highway accident,
these arms were donated.
64
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:36,781
all:
"Cotillionaires: Chicago."
65
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,908
[bright music]
66
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,661
- Ooh, this is nice.
67
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,414
Y'all come on in.
Come on in.
68
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,082
Ali, you so funny.
69
00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:47,500
- Today we're at a cotillion,
70
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,419
which is like
a Black debutante ball.
71
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,754
We do dances,
and we practice etiquette.
72
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,256
And, you know,
it's real fancy
73
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,757
and classy and stuff.
74
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,467
Calliope used to be
75
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,761
this really famous infomercial
psychic back in the day.
76
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,096
- God bless you.
77
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:01,431
Ah-shay, ah-shay.
78
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,266
- She was going to
be our host,
79
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,894
but we had to make some changes
because she had an incident,
80
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,812
and we also had to uninvite
all the kids
81
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,814
'cause of said incident.
82
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:13,026
[indistinct chatter]
83
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,613
- Uh, hi, Miss Calliope.
My name--
84
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:17,572
- Damn!
85
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,657
Can a bitch eat?
86
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,034
Fuck!
87
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,623
Hold on, Selena.
88
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:30,084
No, we can talk about it.
89
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:33,796
When I was a child,
I was visited
90
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:38,676
and severely beaten by a spirit
of a shy boy in a cast.
91
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,762
So, recently, when
I was accosted
92
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,056
by a shy boy in a cast,
93
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,223
it triggered something.
94
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,768
Can a bitch eat?
Fuck!
95
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:50,980
I love kids, and I'm sorry.
96
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:55,068
What was that
little boy's name?
97
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:57,654
I'm sorry, ShaJhonson.
98
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:01,658
[indistinct chatter]
99
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,785
- Sorry.
- Shit.
100
00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:06,579
- It happens sometimes.
It happens.
101
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:08,998
- Now, the first step of a
cotillion is etiquette class.
102
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:12,335
So I brought in Boutiqua Jones.
She the best in the game, okay?
103
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,504
And she is fancy as shit.
104
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,255
- Thank you, Dr. Princess.
105
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,008
Now, this isn't my first roll
in the hays of cotillionism.
106
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,218
- [laughs]
107
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,719
- Yes, it was funny,
what I said.
108
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,846
I've hosted and attended many.
109
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,224
I also spent a semester
in London.
110
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,809
- Ooh!
- Mm!
111
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,853
- And one
at the Sorbonne, so...
112
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,856
[French and British accent]
Bienvenue to my class, loves.
113
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,525
[laughter, light applause]
114
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,485
[British accent] It's good
banter and all of that.
115
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:38,820
Yes, we love it.
Yes.
116
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,072
All right,
let's get into the lesson.
117
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:43,992
- Okay.
- This is a salad fork.
118
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,368
Okay, it's for leaves.
119
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:46,703
Gwen, write that down.
For leaves.
120
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,162
- For leaves.
- For leaves.
121
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,665
- For leaves.
- And O-leaves.
122
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,542
- Excuse me, miss.
[bangs on table]
123
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,335
What the fuck are
you talking about?
124
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:57,255
- She's talking about olives.
But you know what I loves?
125
00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,382
Drugs.
126
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,759
- O-leaves--olives.
127
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:05,054
all: Olives.
128
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,556
Okay.
129
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,725
- And as you all know, the
best part of a cotillion
130
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,518
is looking fabulous.
131
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:13,104
So I commissioned
my girl Elegant Maude
132
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:17,108
to make us all
cotillion dresses.
133
00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,193
- Princess over here,
she did my surgery.
134
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:22,447
So I was able to make you
all some fabulous dresses
135
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,157
with my transplanted arms!
136
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,826
[cheering]
137
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:30,163
♪ ♪
138
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,414
- Ooh.
139
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,708
These bitches got me skressed.
140
00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:36,544
- Ladies!
141
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:38,838
Here they are!
142
00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:45,178
♪ ♪
143
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:47,096
- Dr. Princess must have bought
those arms
144
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,431
from Ross Dress for Less,
145
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,933
because those dresses
are irregular.
146
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,436
[indistinct chatter]
147
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,104
- Um, excuse me.
Hi.
148
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,066
I know this isn't the reason
why we're all here today,
149
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,902
but I can't sit up in here
and be fake, okay?
150
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,612
Elegant Maude is
trying to have us
151
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,782
look like a slutty-ass version
of American Girl dolls.
152
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,033
American Ho dolls.
153
00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:08,701
And I'm not
with the shits, okay?
154
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,369
Some dolls are hos.
155
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,954
Slumber Party Barbie?
156
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,706
That's the bitch who only had
one change of clothes
157
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,124
and a gym bag.
158
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,001
What the fuck was she
doing in the evenings?
159
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,669
- Now that we've
had etiquette class,
160
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,421
it's time for our fancy dinner.
161
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,549
And I, for one, board-certified
neurosurgeon Dr. Princess,
162
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,426
cannot wait to see
the Cotillionaires
163
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,053
in their formal wear.
164
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:31,641
- Ladies and gentlemen,
presenting the Cotillionaires!
165
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:34,644
[light applause]
166
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:41,818
♪ ♪
167
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:47,031
[applause]
168
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,744
[indistinct chatter]
169
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:55,665
- So did none of y'all
wear the dresses that I made?
170
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:58,835
[dish shatters]
171
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,586
- Ungrateful heifers!
172
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:04,298
Do y'all know how hard it is to
sew with somebody else's arms?
173
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,175
- Bitch, you ain't even wear
the dress yourself!
174
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,344
- That part. I was waiting for
someone to say--
175
00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:10,263
- Girl, the earrings are far
too pretty to be dangling
176
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:11,681
next to tears, darling.
177
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,683
- That was beautiful.
- Listen to her.
178
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:17,478
- Elegant Maude, I'm getting
a message from the other side.
179
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,356
It's from the lady
whose arms you have.
180
00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:23,901
She said she could have made
better dresses with her feet!
181
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,403
[laughter]
182
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,529
Oh, oh, oh, wait, wait.
183
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:29,574
And I'm the thickest one here.
184
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:30,533
Boo!
185
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,076
How about that?
186
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,287
- Get off of your royal horse.
187
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,372
Every last one of you,
especially you, Calliope,
188
00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:37,874
sitting over there
with somebody else's man
189
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,250
that's not even your husband.
190
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,586
Okay, that's
Elegant Maude's husband.
191
00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:43,713
He a cheater!
You a cheater, sir!
192
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,590
- Damn!
You know she's right, though.
193
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:46,757
You could see it in his eyes.
194
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,259
- My husband is not a cheater.
195
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,219
I am.
I am!
196
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,597
I am!
I am!
197
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,307
- Oh, excuse me
for trying to help you.
198
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:55,725
You know what?
199
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,268
Y'all not going to
ruin this for me, okay?
200
00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:59,228
I am still going to
have a great cotillion,
201
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,689
and the night will end with
my very beautiful song,
202
00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:04,901
"There She Go, Queen Cotillion,
There She Go, She a Star."
203
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,152
It's about strength.
204
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:08,487
It's about triumph.
It's about me.
205
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:11,032
It's about the days.
It's about the nights.
206
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,909
It's about the sky
and the ground.
207
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,493
- Okay, Dr. Princess,
208
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,579
well, while that sounds
like a song we can all learn
209
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,080
something from,
210
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,250
um, I regret to inform you
that before you got here,
211
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,628
the judges did let us know
that there would be
212
00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,047
no music or singing allowed.
213
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:28,257
It's in the rule book.
- Rule book?
214
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,926
I didn't get no damn rule book.
215
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,260
- There isn't one.
216
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,137
I'm just making this shit up
as I go.
217
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,264
I am the rule book.
218
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,266
You calling me a liar?
- Yes!
219
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,727
- Ooh, no, no, no, no, bitch.
220
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:42,021
[indistinct arguing]
- I didn't get a rule book.
221
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:43,773
Did anybody else
get a rule book?
222
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,566
You know what?
This is all your fault!
223
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,109
- This why I don't like
coming around y'all.
224
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,444
- Aah!
- Oh, shit!
225
00:08:48,527 --> 00:08:49,820
- Too much!
226
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,697
No, you not trying
to throw bread at me.
227
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,908
- Control your arms, bitch.
What are you doing?
228
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:57,453
- Oh, no.
[indistinct shouting]
229
00:08:57,536 --> 00:08:59,664
- Oh, my God.
Oh!
230
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,500
[shouting continues]
231
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:05,753
- Oh, shit!
- You hit Antonia!
232
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,755
She's a person!
233
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,049
- After Antonia got
hit in the head,
234
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,051
she ain't know
who the hell she was.
235
00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:14,804
- Hi.
I'm pro skater Tony Hawk.
236
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,847
And my ex played
a lot of games.
237
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,975
- Psychologically,
what she went through
238
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,643
was delusions of grandeur.
239
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:24,146
It happens to a lot
of blunt-force-trauma patients
240
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,482
that I've seen in my career.
241
00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:29,068
Previously on
"Cotillionaires: Chicago"...
242
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:32,238
- Bienvenue
to my class, loves.
243
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,490
- Ladies!
244
00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:36,117
Here they are!
245
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:40,413
[indistinct shouting]
246
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,665
- Hi.
I'm pro skater Tony Hawk.
247
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,208
[siren wailing]
248
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,794
all: "Cotillionaires: Chicago."
249
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:50,381
- Now, ladies, José,
we cannot go forward
250
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:53,134
until we figure out this mess.
251
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:56,012
- None of you sluts wore
you clothes except for José.
252
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:58,180
- Oh, don't get it twisted.
I'm a slut, too.
253
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,390
- And you--
- Uh-uh.
254
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:01,475
- You.
- Mm-hmm.
255
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,852
- You said you loved them.
256
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,520
- Oh, baby, didn't
nobody say that.
257
00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:07,064
I said that I loved
that you made dresses.
258
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,774
I loved that for your healing.
259
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,110
It was supposed
to be therapeutic.
260
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:13,029
I'm also a therapist.
261
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,114
[skateboard rolling]
262
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:17,033
- This isn't therapy.
This, honey...
263
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,618
[chuckles]
This is couture.
264
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,120
- Girl.
- What?
265
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,372
- You got a whole-ass
nother dress
266
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,959
attached to another dress
attached to another dress...
267
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,211
[laughter]
- Attached to another dress.
268
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,796
- Read her.
269
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,590
- Now that the air is clear,
it's time for the waltz,
270
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,216
and I'm just so ecstatic
for them.
271
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,094
They worked very, very hard
for two straight days.
272
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,680
[indistinct chatter]
- I love your gloves.
273
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,223
- I'm just going
to step over here
274
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,809
and just rehearse
for just, like, two seconds.
275
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,644
I'll be right back.
276
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:52,151
♪ Me, me, me, me,
me, me, me, not you ♪
277
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:56,280
♪ I, I, I, I, I, I, not we ♪
278
00:10:56,364 --> 00:11:00,743
- This evening is messy
but not messy enough.
279
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:04,413
And, frankly, I ain't trying
to hear no damn singing.
280
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,458
- ♪ Me, me, me, me, me ♪
281
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,085
♪ Me, me, me, me, me ♪
282
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:12,963
♪ Me, me, not you ♪
283
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,132
Oh, it's a squirrel.
Go ahead, squirrel.
284
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,052
♪ Run, run, run, run, run, run,
little squirrel ♪
285
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:19,428
- Oh, my shoe.
286
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,138
I'm going to take
this bitch breath away.
287
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:25,017
- Cotillionaires and escorts,
please, to the floor.
288
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,435
- Oh.
289
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,437
If anybody wants my autograph,
290
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,732
I'll be right here--
especially kids.
291
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,651
♪ ♪
292
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:36,487
- [sighs]
I know Calliope apologized.
293
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,030
But ShaJhonson was my nephew.
294
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,032
That's right, was.
295
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,617
He died...
296
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,077
of embarrassment.
297
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,954
ShaJhonson ain't
handling it well.
298
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,163
That's his dad.
299
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,998
♪ ♪
300
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:51,252
That's why I'm going
to kill her with a bomb
301
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,254
as soon as I can remember
where I placed it.
302
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:55,756
I did lose it
on account of the drug use.
303
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,383
I love drugs.
304
00:11:57,466 --> 00:12:00,302
[waltz music playing]
305
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:07,435
♪ ♪
306
00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:21,323
- Y'all see him trying
to make me jealous?
307
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,993
- He dancing like he want
to do something...
308
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,536
twice!
309
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:28,205
And Amelia Earhart watching.
310
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,500
You too nasty, Amelia.
That's why your plane crashed.
311
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,627
Ask Captain Sully.
312
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:36,172
You can't fly
when you horny.
313
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,967
Bird strike.
His dick was hard.
314
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,802
- Ladies and gentlemen,
315
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:45,389
it's time for the climax
of the evening--the grand bow.
316
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:50,019
[applause]
317
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,480
- Hey. Hey, Dr. Princess.
- What?
318
00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,190
- Twista just texted me
right now
319
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,775
and say he coming up to the
cotillion to propose to you.
320
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:57,943
- What?
- Yes.
321
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,112
- [gasps] I love Twista.
- I know.
322
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,156
- But that's so fast,
even for him.
323
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:03,991
- Well, he's saying
when you know, you know.
324
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:07,036
You got to go!
Hurry!
325
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,580
- What the fuck?
326
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:11,707
Where's--where's my inhaler?
327
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:13,542
[panting]
- Hey, girl.
328
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,711
Calliope took your inhaler and
she ain't wash her hands first.
329
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,713
- Girl, fuck you and Calliope!
330
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,340
- You's a liar.
331
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:22,092
I might be a wrong bitch,
but I ain't a nasty bitch.
332
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,719
- Oh, I don't know about that,
333
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:26,555
'cause the street
said you's a nasty bitch.
334
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,599
- Oh, is that what they said?
- That's what they said.
335
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,559
[indistinct shouting]
336
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,394
- Hey, hey.
[claps hands] Hey!
337
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,729
Smile.
338
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,814
[chuckles] Okay.
339
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:39,026
Yes.
[applause]
340
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,029
- [breathing heavily]
341
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,657
Man, I'm tired of this shit.
342
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,992
It's hard trying to show
underprivileged bitches
343
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,410
a good time.
344
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,454
I just want to go home.
345
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,622
Oh.
346
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,249
- Hey, man.
347
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:57,753
People are depending on you
to do kick flips and fakies.
348
00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:58,796
- What?
349
00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:00,798
- To jump off ramps so high
350
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,675
that every kid everywhere aims
351
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:06,679
to jump just as high
with their dreams.
352
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,932
- It's time to announce
our winner.
353
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,142
As you all know,
the winner of this event
354
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,478
is the Cotillionaire
who bravely sold
355
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,438
the most ads to the community.
356
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,190
And the winner is--
357
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,525
- Yes!
Whoo!
358
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:20,901
Yes.
Yes!
359
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,444
Thank you.
Whoo!
360
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,989
Yes! All right.
Fuck everybody.
361
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:26,991
That means everybody here,
everybody outside.
362
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:30,077
I mean fuck everybody.
Thank you so much for this.
363
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,870
First of all, I want to
give a shout out to SJ.
364
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,789
We miss you.
You know what I'm saying?
365
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:35,499
- [whispering] You didn't win.
- What?
366
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,459
- It's not you.
- What did you say?
367
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,086
- [normal voice]
You didn't win.
368
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,754
[clears throat]
- What do you mean by that?
369
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,506
- You did not win,
honey, so I'm going to go
370
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,425
ahead and take that back.
371
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:45,926
And you'll have to
relive this moment
372
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,303
for the rest
of your life, okay?
373
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,054
Go ahead.
- You want some drugs?
374
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,140
- No.
- Percocet. Percocet.
375
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,808
$12. Sorry for that.
376
00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:54,143
- Damn.
377
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:57,896
- Okay. And the winner
is Dr. Princess!
378
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,733
Please come collect your
crown and sash.
379
00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:03,235
[applause]
380
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,653
- Let me go, bitch.
381
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,655
Damn it!
Yes!
382
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,116
- There we go, right there.
383
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:11,076
- Thank you!
384
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:15,331
Y'all, I was not
expecting this.
385
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,875
But I knew I sold the most ads
two days ago, okay?
386
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:20,461
I want to give a big shout-out
to Eastside Florist
387
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:22,838
in Hyde Park
for their full-page ad.
388
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:24,340
Thank you so much.
389
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,758
Hey, they fix screens
in the back, y'all.
390
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,009
Just ask for a Bri-Bri.
391
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,261
Now, without further ado...
392
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,679
[laughs] Ow.
393
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,223
♪ There she go,
Queen Cotillion ♪
394
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,350
♪ There she go ♪
395
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,809
♪ She's a star ♪
396
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:38,270
♪ There she go,
counting her millions ♪
397
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,147
♪ Her dreams will
take her very far ♪
398
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,107
♪ There I go-- ♪
- That's the bomb!
399
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:46,820
[all screaming]
- Don't nobody move.
400
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:50,699
- I got this, y'all.
You sure it's the red one?
401
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,619
Here we go.
- No, no, no, no, no!
402
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,705
[dramatic music]
403
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,123
♪ ♪
404
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:03,087
- ♪ Wanna be all right ♪
405
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:06,048
- All right, Minolta says 8.4.
It's time to shoot.
406
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,884
Also, they're building an
office tower right next door.
407
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:10,511
Someone should go
over there and ask them
408
00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:12,262
to not do that
for just two hours.
409
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,639
We need some quiet.
410
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:18,268
All in--one, two, three...
all: Gayle!
411
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:20,312
- Gayle, are you
paying these kids?
412
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:23,065
- Oh, no. It's the cheapest
labor of all time.
413
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,775
- You're terrible.
414
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:28,028
- After all this, I suggest we
all go to Pepperoni's, right?
415
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:32,616
I'm the new manager over there.
We got the Five Dolla Holla.
416
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,952
That's right. Pizza for $5.
- Oh, more than one, okay.
417
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,412
- You take one and pass it.
418
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:37,663
- Oh, I don't know how
your culture works.
419
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:38,747
Here you go.
- Thank you.
420
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,374
- Look, okay, here.
421
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:43,127
Five Dolla Holla, but each
additional topping is also $5,
422
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,920
which includes
the cheese and the sauce.
423
00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:46,880
- Wait, you're
charging for the sauce?
424
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,674
- And the cheese.
425
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:50,259
- What about, like, Parmesan
cheese
426
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:51,677
and those little pepper flakes?
Is that also--
427
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,429
- All that's $5.
- Those are toppings.
428
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,389
- Everything that you got to
put on top of it is a topping.
429
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,099
- But wait, so the
basic pizza package
430
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,435
is essentially
a wheel of bread?
431
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:00,978
- Q, brother, you always
make things complicated.
432
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,396
- You do make
things complicated.
433
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,939
- Sorry.
Sorry, Pres.
434
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:05,399
- Don't ask questions.
- Sorry, Pres. Sorry, Pres.
435
00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:06,734
- Simplify it, okay?
Five Dolla Holla.
436
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,277
- You know what?
Five Dolla Holla--
437
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,113
go in with 15 bucks,
get a good pizza--not bad.
438
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:14,116
[upbeat music]
439
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:18,662
♪ ♪
440
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:22,458
- One, two, three...
441
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:29,631
♪ ♪
442
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:40,142
♪ Changes ♪
443
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:44,104
♪ From me to you ♪
444
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:48,067
♪ Changes ♪
445
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:52,196
♪ From me to you ♪
446
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:57,076
♪ We're going down
to Kwanzaa Town ♪
447
00:17:57,159 --> 00:18:01,830
♪ ♪
448
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,542
♪ We're going down
to Kwanzaa Town ♪
449
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:12,716
♪ ♪
450
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:25,062
♪ Changes ♪
451
00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:29,358
♪ From me to you ♪
452
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:32,486
♪ Changes ♪
453
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:36,532
♪ From me to you ♪
454
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,910
♪ Changes ♪
455
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:43,497
♪ Changes ♪
456
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:47,793
♪ Changes ♪
457
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:51,004
♪ Changes ♪
458
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:58,178
♪ ♪
459
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,410
- Bucket, let's
enter that contest.
460
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:22,870
- With what money?
461
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,497
You broke.
I'm broke.
462
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,675
- Control-alt-delete, asshole.
463
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:39,720
[suspenseful music]
464
00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:42,306
♪ ♪
465
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,349
- There is a God.
466
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:51,106
♪ ♪
467
00:19:51,189 --> 00:19:54,151
[upbeat music]
468
00:19:54,234 --> 00:20:01,325
♪ ♪
469
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:12,002
- ♪ Having some fun in
this beautiful sun in Hawaii ♪
470
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:14,004
♪ Shaking my ass ♪
471
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:19,426
♪ Just to forget the past
in Hawaii ♪
472
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:25,098
♪ In Hawaii ♪
473
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:27,726
Ladies and gentlemen,
Ukulele Barbados,
474
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:30,812
the owner of the bar--
who wants to see him hit it?
475
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,190
- All right.
- Nah.
476
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:34,900
- Come on, Ukulele.
477
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:38,320
Everybody wants to see you get
up and show us what you got.
478
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,947
- I said no!
479
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,658
[dramatic music]
480
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:45,160
♪ ♪
481
00:20:45,243 --> 00:20:46,620
- Barbados!
- Ah!
482
00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:48,914
- High five.
Too slow.
483
00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,676
- Don't trigger Barbados!
484
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:03,053
- The Tahitian
eyeball takedown.
485
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:05,847
Your skills are sharper
than ever, Ukulele.
486
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:09,768
- Colonel Corn, what
the hell do you want?
487
00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:12,020
- Your country needs you
for one last job.
488
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,271
- Ha!
489
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:16,566
You said that
six last jobs to go.
490
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:19,152
His card was declined.
Get a new boyfriend.
491
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,530
- Have you heard
of Kwanzaanium?
492
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,198
- I have.
493
00:21:23,281 --> 00:21:25,867
- It's an extraction from a
fibrous plant, raffia,
494
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,828
found deep
in the Congo rain forest.
495
00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:29,288
- Mm.
496
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,999
- Known to be
a psychoactive hypnotic.
497
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,750
A dangerous amount
of it was stolen
498
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,877
from a hijacked submarine.
499
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,587
Your government needs you
to get it back.
500
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:39,381
- Colonel Corn,
haven't you heard?
501
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:43,510
I've retired, and now I own
a bar in rural Hawaii.
502
00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:47,097
- We don't serve any
goddamn corn, God damn it.
503
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:48,890
So, if you're not buying
a drink,
504
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,893
a peanut butter and jelly
sandwich, or a toasted bagel,
505
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,520
get to stepping.
506
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:58,233
♪ ♪
507
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,361
- [chuckles]
508
00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:03,697
Mm, behold...
509
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:07,826
pure, unrefined Kwanzaanium.
510
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:11,496
Carefully extracted from the
bottom of the Atlantic Ocean,
511
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:14,124
they tell me somewhere
around Georgia.
512
00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:18,628
One drop is enough to control
a Black person's mind.
513
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:23,550
Imagine telling a brother
to be quiet in the movies...
514
00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:27,304
And he accepts the criticism!
515
00:22:27,387 --> 00:22:30,932
And he doesn't try to fight you
'cause he knows he's wrong.
516
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:34,978
Imagine you tell a Black woman
what to do,
517
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:36,980
and she listens.
518
00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,482
No more side eye.
519
00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:40,776
- Hold up...side down.
520
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:42,110
Ha ha.
521
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:43,987
I got 21 questions.
- What's up 50 Cent?
522
00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:46,198
- What are you going to do
about Ukulele Barbados?
523
00:22:46,281 --> 00:22:47,949
- Mm.
524
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:51,495
I've already got
that taken care of.
525
00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:52,788
- What?
- I said...
526
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:56,249
- [grunts]
- I already got that--
527
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:58,251
I got it taken care of.
528
00:22:58,335 --> 00:23:00,962
- Say good night,
motherfuckers.
529
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:04,216
[all screaming]
530
00:23:04,299 --> 00:23:11,389
♪ ♪
531
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,867
- Denzel Knives' tower.
- Yeah.
532
00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:33,161
- He's going to pay for trying
to kill us in Hawaii.
533
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,372
- Mm-hmm, thanks for scooping
my brains back into my head.
534
00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:36,998
It's mighty thoughtful of you.
535
00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:40,127
It all begins where
it's going to end.
536
00:23:50,887 --> 00:23:52,389
- Die!
537
00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:53,390
Die!
538
00:23:53,473 --> 00:23:56,852
[laughs]
539
00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:58,520
- K, crank it!
540
00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:01,439
- Wait. Wait.
[car door opens]
541
00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:02,816
No.
- Yeah.
542
00:24:02,899 --> 00:24:05,861
[engine turning over, revs]
543
00:24:05,944 --> 00:24:09,239
- Reverse!
Reverse the flow!
544
00:24:09,322 --> 00:24:12,534
Yeah.
Suck his brains back in.
545
00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:15,829
Ah.
546
00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:18,331
I guess you were exhausted.
547
00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:19,457
Ha ha.
548
00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:28,884
- Oh, so I was looking
at some of the pipes and the--
549
00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:35,807
♪ ♪
550
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:37,809
Hey, did you kill
me on purpose?
551
00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:40,896
- Yes.
552
00:24:42,814 --> 00:24:45,901
- Now that it's just us,
did you mean to kill that guy?
553
00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:47,736
- Yes.
I meant to do it.
554
00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:49,112
- It's okay
if you made a mistake.
555
00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:51,156
- It wasn't a mistake!
He's dead. Look.
556
00:24:51,239 --> 00:24:53,116
Bull's-eye.
557
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,618
[scoffs]
Oh, jeez Louise.
558
00:24:54,701 --> 00:24:56,912
Got to be real careful.
559
00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:59,206
This guy's very tricky.
560
00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:01,625
Whoa, ho, ho, ho, ho.
561
00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:03,585
[people moaning]
[sniffs]
562
00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,128
Oh, okay.
563
00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:06,713
Smells like TBD.
564
00:25:06,796 --> 00:25:09,507
- To be determined?
- No.
565
00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:13,011
Tits, butt, and dick.
- Mm.
566
00:25:13,094 --> 00:25:14,930
- Ah!
567
00:25:15,013 --> 00:25:16,097
Yeah.
568
00:25:17,724 --> 00:25:20,602
- Guys!
Stop fucking!
569
00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:23,146
No, seriously!
Stop fucking!
570
00:25:25,273 --> 00:25:27,192
Gil.
571
00:25:27,275 --> 00:25:28,443
Gil.
572
00:25:28,526 --> 00:25:29,444
Gil!
573
00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:30,445
Earth to Gil.
574
00:25:30,528 --> 00:25:31,696
- Huh?
575
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:34,991
- We have to defeat
these guys.
576
00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:39,412
Now let's work together.
This is all our responsibility.
577
00:25:39,496 --> 00:25:42,249
- Good thing I have
proper protection.
578
00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:43,708
Ah!
579
00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:46,878
[all screaming]
580
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:50,298
- Ah!
Stepped on my balls.
581
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:53,218
- My bad.
- No, I liked it.
582
00:25:53,301 --> 00:25:54,844
- K!
583
00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:57,055
Grab that circular saw.
584
00:25:57,138 --> 00:25:58,723
- This one?
- Yes!
585
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:02,978
Turn on the saw and swing the
line in a circular motion.
586
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:05,689
The blade will do the rest.
- No way, Uke.
587
00:26:05,772 --> 00:26:07,315
My eyes are terrible.
588
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:08,733
- Then close them!
589
00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:10,151
I believe in you.
590
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,737
Don't let me fall
to the center of the Earth.
591
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:14,906
[saw whirring]
592
00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:20,996
Good job!
593
00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:22,831
- This feels really dangerous.
594
00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:25,041
- It is dangerous.
595
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:27,502
Ow!
- I did it!
596
00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:29,004
Oh, my bad.
597
00:26:29,087 --> 00:26:30,338
- Good job.
598
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,007
You did a really good job,
I tell you.
599
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:36,970
But, uh, old Barbados needs
to sit down for a minute.
600
00:26:37,053 --> 00:26:38,263
- Take your time.
601
00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:42,058
- No.
602
00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:44,185
No.
603
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:45,437
Just kill me.
604
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,023
- Why would I kill you,
Ukulele...
605
00:26:49,691 --> 00:26:52,110
When I can control you?
606
00:26:52,193 --> 00:26:55,113
[laughing]
607
00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:58,283
- [screaming]
608
00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:04,039
[screams]
609
00:27:04,122 --> 00:27:07,208
[all screaming]
610
00:27:09,210 --> 00:27:12,380
- [laughs]
611
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,632
Now, Ukulele,
I want you to kill
612
00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:16,843
your beloved partner, K.
613
00:27:16,926 --> 00:27:18,011
- No.
614
00:27:18,094 --> 00:27:20,055
Uke, come on.
615
00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:21,348
Uke, it's your friend.
616
00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:23,391
Come on,
Remember the sandbox as kids.
617
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:26,269
Don't do this.
Come on, snap out of it.
618
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:29,230
- [growls]
619
00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:34,569
- Come on, man.
Come on, man.
620
00:27:34,652 --> 00:27:36,738
I know you're
in there somewhere.
621
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:38,782
Snap out of it.
622
00:27:38,865 --> 00:27:42,327
Only you can control
623
00:27:42,410 --> 00:27:45,663
your own destiny.
624
00:27:45,747 --> 00:27:47,165
- Mm!
625
00:27:47,248 --> 00:27:49,918
- [laughing]
626
00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:51,920
- No amount
of self-determination
627
00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:54,214
can keep your friend
from destroying you!
628
00:27:54,297 --> 00:27:57,092
[laughs]
- Self-determination?
629
00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:58,885
That's--
[gasps]
630
00:27:58,968 --> 00:28:00,428
That's Kujichagulia,
631
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,889
one of the seven principles
of Kwanzaa,
632
00:28:02,972 --> 00:28:06,101
along with Kuumba, creativity,
633
00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:08,103
like the creative way
I killed that guy.
634
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:10,688
Nia, purpose,
635
00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:13,983
when I totally killed
that other guy on purpose.
636
00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:16,778
Umoja, unity,
like when we serve
637
00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:18,738
peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches
638
00:28:18,822 --> 00:28:20,615
and toasted bagels together.
639
00:28:20,698 --> 00:28:24,119
Ujima, collective work
and responsibility,
640
00:28:24,202 --> 00:28:25,954
like when those perverts
collectively worked together
641
00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:28,289
to fuck, then made it their
responsibility
642
00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:29,833
to stop us.
643
00:28:29,916 --> 00:28:32,669
Imani, faith, like when
I had faith in K.
644
00:28:32,752 --> 00:28:36,339
And Ujamaa,
cooperative economics,
645
00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:39,134
that was when, um...
646
00:28:40,718 --> 00:28:42,804
[upbeat music]
647
00:28:42,887 --> 00:28:44,556
- Oh, my brother.
648
00:28:46,182 --> 00:28:50,145
- You see, brother, what we
need to do is work together.
649
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:51,479
Yeah.
650
00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,731
- A new kind of movie...
651
00:28:57,026 --> 00:28:59,154
- That works.
652
00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:00,280
K.
653
00:29:02,407 --> 00:29:06,327
I finally have understanding
and knowledge itself.
654
00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:08,830
Kwanzaa isn't about
controlling Black people.
655
00:29:08,913 --> 00:29:11,082
It's about setting them free.
656
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:13,001
Kwanzaa!
657
00:29:13,084 --> 00:29:15,086
Kwanzaa!
658
00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:19,757
Kwanzaa!
659
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:26,556
[dramatic music]
660
00:29:26,639 --> 00:29:32,604
♪ ♪
661
00:29:40,862 --> 00:29:42,030
- Gazettes here.
662
00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:45,283
Enjoy your news, sir.
663
00:29:45,366 --> 00:29:48,203
- You there,
what day of Kwanzaa is it?
664
00:29:48,286 --> 00:29:50,497
- Ujima, sir.
665
00:29:50,580 --> 00:29:53,541
- Oh, good.
It's not too late.
666
00:29:56,544 --> 00:29:58,588
- I trusted you.
667
00:29:59,756 --> 00:30:01,508
♪ Right back
where I started ♪
668
00:30:01,591 --> 00:30:03,510
♪ So let's get it straight,
get it straight ♪
669
00:30:03,593 --> 00:30:05,220
♪ I've been in the kitchen
with the dinner plate ♪
670
00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:06,888
♪ Dinner plate ♪
671
00:30:06,971 --> 00:30:08,640
♪ Jogging up and down
the fucking interstate ♪
672
00:30:08,723 --> 00:30:10,391
♪ Interstate ♪
673
00:30:10,475 --> 00:30:12,435
♪ Trying to get a check
and cop some real estate ♪
674
00:30:12,519 --> 00:30:14,229
♪ Real estate ♪
675
00:30:14,312 --> 00:30:16,272
♪ I'm that [...] that always
stick his neck out ♪
676
00:30:16,356 --> 00:30:18,983
♪ Might be clocked in at
the job, but I'm checked out ♪
677
00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:22,820
♪ Plotting schemes to get the
things that I dreamt about ♪
678
00:30:22,904 --> 00:30:26,074
♪ I've been in that gym,
I can flex now ♪
679
00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:28,117
♪ Flexing all them [...]
to throw them foes ♪
680
00:30:28,201 --> 00:30:29,702
♪ And blow that dro ♪
681
00:30:29,786 --> 00:30:31,329
♪ You've been stressing,
just forget it ♪
682
00:30:31,412 --> 00:30:32,956
♪ Do your part
and let that go ♪
683
00:30:33,039 --> 00:30:34,749
♪ I go hard,
I bet y'all know ♪
684
00:30:34,832 --> 00:30:36,668
♪ I'm soaked in sauce,
I got that dough ♪
685
00:30:36,751 --> 00:30:38,461
♪ Stepping in the building,
fitting to kill it ♪
686
00:30:38,545 --> 00:30:40,421
♪ Give me that all,
I want that dough ♪
687
00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,340
♪ No little bit of clout,
when you ask, they know ♪
688
00:30:42,423 --> 00:30:44,175
♪ Just what [...] about,
it's about that show ♪
689
00:30:44,259 --> 00:30:46,094
♪ And about my bros,
and I'm on my toes ♪
690
00:30:46,177 --> 00:30:47,845
♪ And I'm about my growth,
everything must go ♪
691
00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:49,597
♪ Gave my all,
got to give some more ♪
692
00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:52,058
♪ I got clout,
Got to get some more... ♪
693
00:30:52,108 --> 00:30:56,658
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
48520
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof