Original subtitles

(uptempo cheery music)

(cars hooting) (sirens blaring)

(people chattering) (soft elevator music)

(speaking in a foreign language)

(phone snapping) (uptempo tense music)

(crowd chattering) (fingers tapping)

(elevator dinging)

(footstep thudding)

- It's Easton West.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Would you excuse me?

(footsteps thudding) (cellphone ringing)

- [Caller] It's Easton West, you know what to do.

- Shit. (tense dramatic music)

- I'm sorry did I just interrupt a group prostate exam?

Pull your fingers out of your fucking asses and get to work.

- [All] Yes, Chef.

- Easton,

what are you doing? - Running a kitchen.

What I'm not doing is two-bit whoring myself

to some cashed up clams that are profiting off my name.

- Easton, I managed to get you this gig,

which makes me manager of the fucking year.

Now you do what your contract says,

and you get out there, and you shake some investor hands,

and get the hell out of the kitchen.

(speaking in a foreign language)

(food frying)

- Yes, Chef! - Who's the soigne?

Oh, you're fucking kidding me.

Is there a real food critic in the house

or just that tabloid hack?

- Do you really wanna take a running jump

off the only bridge that you haven't burnt in this industry?

See the Chinese cast of "Goodfellas" out there,

they're your last chance.

- Well, send them my apologies,

along with a photo of my Michelin-starred ass.

And tell that critic hack that the only opinion I trust

from her is what her editor's balls taste like.

What the fuck is that?

It's supposed to be pork with potato quenelle.

Does that look like a quenelle to you, does it?

- It's a smear and realize I did quenelle it.

(Easton shouting) (dishes shattering)

- Anyone else, smudges my spud,

and I will personally spit-roast you.

(spoons clanking) Service!

Give that to the hag on nine.

- This isn't just your career that you're messing with,

you know, and you promised me.

- No, no, no, why am I still seeing smears?

When I say quenelles I mean fucking quenelles.

- Jesus Christ, no one gives a shit about your quenelles.

It's your name and your face that they want.

This is one of the few places where that name

actually still means something.

So if I were you, I would be playing ball

and getting the fuck out of the kitchen

before you get us both into shit.

- Excuse me, Chef, the hack on nine says hello,

and she would like to return her over-salty quenelle

back to 1991,

please for your response. (kettle boiling)

(tense ominous music)

- Easton?

Easton, what are you doing?

(Easton grunting)

* Like a snake calling on a phone *

* I've got no time to be alone

* There's someone coming at me all the time *

* Yeah babe I think I'll lose my mind *

* 'Cause I'm stranded on my own *

* Stranded far from home, all right *

* I'm riding on a midnight train *

* But everybody looks just the same *

* A subway light, its dirty reflection *

* I'm lost babe, I've got no direction *

* And I'm stranded on my own

("I'm Stranded" by Alexisonfire)

(birds chirping)

(phones snapping)

- Have you guys decided yet, or?

- [Photographer] Uh, I don't know, that looks so amazing.

- (chuckles) Yeah.

- Yeah, we'll, we might come back later, hey?

- Yeah, cool no, you won't, all right, bye.

- And off they go to Zhao's.

- [Diana] Man, why can't we get that kind of attention?

- 'Cause we aren't Ben Zhao? - Yet.

- And if you don't work any customers skills,

you'll never be Ben Zhao.

- Hey Nayani, just do me a favor,

and just gaze upon my remix

of Grandma June's Prune Lagoon, okay?

I'm a goddamn artist, not a freaking salesperson (munches).

(mumbles) I just feel like we deserve so much more

than just slinging our desserts

out of the gutter like a pair of strumpets.

- Diana, we are not strumpets. - Shh.

- Zhao's sous-chef, three o'clock.

Mm-mm, mm, mm, mm.

This strumpet wanna humpet that crumpet.

- You might actually have to, I don't know,

have a conversation with him first?

- Nah, I'm a zero-to-100 kinda gal.

(uptempo whimsical music)

- What do we think, should we call it?

I need to study for my exams.

- So how was the stall today? - Really good, yeah.

Smashed it, Hot Buns is hot. - Hm.

- And did you also smash your enrollment,

like you said you would?

- Mom, do I really wanna be tied down with uni

when I could be focusing on my real vocation?

- We would both just prefer

if you had a more stable vocation,

we are not saying you can't bake, you just,

but you need options.

- Well, don't speak for Brett.

Brett, what do you want? (television blaring)

- I want you both

to be happy. - There you go.

Bretty wants a bitch to bake.

- No, no, no, Brett, Brett? (door knocking)

- I'll get it! - Brett never said

he wanted the bitch to bake. (door knocking)

- All right, I'm coming jeez.

- Hi.

- Shut the fuck up!

- Does Denise live here?

- Is this, what is this, what is happening?

- Well, if I'm in the wrong place, I-

- I'm Diana! (crickets screeching)

Your niece, dude.

- All right. - I tried to add you

on facey like years ago,

but it ended up just being a fan account.

It's taken down now.

- Do you mind if I come in? - Sure, yes come in.

Just in time for some spag bol, love.

(door latching)

(Easton gulping)

You know what?

In real life you two have the same eyes.

(glass clanking)

- You have a nice place. - Thanks, it's all Denise,

except the blinds, that's my specialty.

Actually, that's how we met.

I installed the blinds in Denise's old place

after she split up with- - Cockhead!

- Diana! - (giggles) What?

- Diana?

- He's my father, I can call him whatever I want.

- (grunts) Is this bottled pasta sauce?

Pasta's well cooked, yeah.

Al dente. - It's timed perfectly, hon.

(Brett grunting)

I like cooking, but I'm no MasterChef.

I do know my julienne from my lazy Susan.

(Diana giggling) Diana has your cooking genes.

(table banging) (glasses clanking)

- I think I'm gonna get an early night.

- Mom, it's 6:30. - I'm tired.

Brett, can you please see Jimmy, I'm sorry, Easton out.

- No, I can, I can help clean up.

- No, it's, it's fine.

- (chuckles) I've been doing fine without your help,

for how long is it now, 30 years?

And as much as I would love you to stay

because you clearly have nowhere else to go,

I'm afraid we don't have the space.

- What, nowhere else to go? - We have a sofa.

- Well, I'm not here because I have nowhere else to go.

I could be in London right now or Paris.

I wanted to get back in touch with my roots,

you know, spend time with family.

(Diana laughing)

You know, the whole Shanghai thing

has been blown out of proportion anyway.

You don't think a chef has thrown an animal carcass

at someone before?

I mean, it's a beat-up.

People in the industry get it.

- Well, I'm not in the industry.

I use bottled pasta sauce

and if you really, really want to spend time with family,

great, spend it with fucking dad.

He has plenty of room.

And you better not drive him. (footsteps thudding)

(car engine growling)

(uptempo soul music)

- You know you might actually like this place, dude,

we've got quite the food and wine scene.

- Can you please slow down?

(tires screeching)

Fuck! (horns honking)

- Jesus.

- Oh. That place there, Zhao's, that's, like, the hot joint.

- Zhao's, as in Ben Zhao?

- What, you know Zhao?

(laughs) Holy shit, dude, he's huge!

We should go say hi.

- No.

It can't be that huge.

- I mean he's no Easton West,

which he's probably happy about right about now.

I'm kidding (laughs).

I'm kidding, I mean, if you had a place here

you'd shit all over him.

- Yeah, well I was thinking about opening a place up here.

- Yeah, cool definitely.

I mean, once you've, you know, served your time,

and paid your penance, you should totally try,

and make a comeback.

- What do you mean paid my penance?

(Diana laughing)

- Oh, okay.

Guys like you, I mean,

you got to follow the recipe, right?

I mean, you make your heart felt apology to the press,

and then you go into bad man exile,

and then, after all that, then you can,

you know, make a comeback.

- I'm not going into bad man exile.

I'm not a bad man, this place would be lucky to have me.

- Okay. (car engine growling)

You know I'm actually in the biz too?

Desserts are kinda my thing. (Easton grunting)

Actually you might be able to help me out.

Could you like put me in touch with someone,

like Nigella, or?

- We don't talk anymore?

- Yeah, yeah, I just need connections, dude, you know?

I mean, I feel like it's kinda the least you could do

after all these years of radio silence

and not even knowing I exist.

- That's a completely separate issue.

You should never mix business with family,

and can you please slow the fuck down?

- Jeez, okay.

(radio clicking)

(Diana chuckling) (car engine growling)

I got finger-banged there.

Hey, can we do a cookout here one night?

Pop tells me you guys used to do a mean barbecue

on the fire pit.

Or not. (handbrake clanking)

(book thudding)

Oh yeah, your mom's old cookbook.

I use her recipes as inspo.

I know I never actually got to meet Nan, but I feel-

- This is mine.

(door latching)

- Hey, if you need a lift or like a shoulder to cry on,

I'm here for ya, Unkie Eastie. (door latching)

Seriously, not about the crying, though,

that'd be weird.

Okay!

Laters!

(tense dramatic music)

(door unlatching) (door creaking)

- (pants) Shit.

- [Pop] State your business,

(television blaring)

- Dad,

It's me,

Easton.

- Ah

Jimmy,

your room is in the same spot,

like you now, full of shit (chuckling).

- It's good to see you too

(tense dramatic music)

Don't call me Jimmy.

(Pop chuckles)

(door unlatching) (door creaking)

Jesus.

(door slamming)

(Easton sighing)

(paper rustling)

(tense dramatic music)

(book thudding)

(tense dramatic music)

(Easton sighing)

(whisk whirring)

- [Diana] I really think we connected,

and he was, like, super impressed with my stuff.

- He said that? - Well, I mean,

it was in his eyes. - And is he as mean

as he seems? - Oh, 100%,

but in like a cool way.

- [Nayani] There is no cool way.

- (laughs) Absolutely is we just have to pretend

like there isn't.

Oh shit, I think I over-egged.

You know, it might actually help having him around.

- [Nayani] Help how, he can't even help himself.

- Give it time, Nayani.

I mean, you know, anything's possible.

And besides, I mean, he's got

really good connections. (uptempo whimsical music)

Holy shit.

- [Nayani] (laughs) What?

(cellphone dinging) What?

Diana?

- Sorry I gotta go.

- [Nayani] Wait, he.

- [Interviewer] Now, Chef, it's been a while

since you've been back in Adelaide.

- [Easton] It's been a while, yes.

- [Interviewer] Were you glad to see the Mall's Balls

are still here? - I don't know what that is.

- [Ben] Now, Chef,

you've had a brutal couple of weeks.

How you feeling? - I wouldn't call it brutal.

- Well, you're back in Adelaide that's pretty brutal.

- And you asked to come on our show,

which is pretty tragic. - Well, I heard great things.

Returning home's actually been on the cards for a while

found myself at the stage

where (stammers) I wanted to get back to my roots.

to support the local Industry.

- And it's interesting you say that,

'cause our producers did some digging

and they found a direct quote. - Yeah, that's right.

- Where you refer to Adelaide as a pitiful,

parochial cesspit of a syphilitic city

of ill-bred boorish oafs

who wouldn't know a cassoulet

from a deep fried donkey's dick.

- Damn

- Well, clearly that was said in jest.

No I'm actually loving being home,

spending time with family, with my dad, and my niece.

- Oh yeah, I'm sure you are. - Let's talk about Shanghai,

because you really didn't hold back did you?

Could say you went the whole hog.

- I'm not proud of what I did,

but I was under a lot of pressure, I reached boiling point.

- Happens to the best of us. - Yeah.

- We all feel the stress and then punch dudes,

and then throw a pig in a lady's lap.

- For me Ben, that's a regular Friday night.

- Yeah, look, if I could go back, and-

- Was it a farm-to-table thing you were going for?

- No, no, no, no, it was farm-to-table to cancel.

- Will you let me fucking talk?

I'm trying to apologize, but you keep interrupting.

Stop being rude.

Yes, I went too far, but I wanna put it behind me,

and focus on the future.

And no, no, I've not been canceled,

because I am actually, I'm actually opening up

my very first Australian restaurant here.

- [Interviewer] Really?

- Yeah.

I'm bringing Michelin-star dining to the Adelaide Hills,

it's very exciting, so could we please focus on that?

- Yeah, our apologies, Chef,

that actually is quite exciting.

Now did you manage to bring home the bacon,

or is that still in Shanghai? (both laughing)

Don't mind us. (Ben snorting)

We're just carrying on like pork chops.

- [Ben] Don't hog all the jokes, Liam.

Are we boaring you?

Somebody call the hambulance!

You're with Ben and Liam. (pig squealing)

- It really wasn't that bad.

I mean (stammers) nobody even really listens

to popular, commercial radio.

- You're supposed to help my situation, not screw it harder.

Why the Christ did I even listen to you?

- Well, I mean, I said to lay low for a while.

I didn't say go announce your comeback.

I mean, how the hell are you supposed

to start a restaurant now you big noob,

- I mean, who the hell are you, anyway?

You run a shitty cake stall.

When I was your age, I was working for Robuchon.

- Yeah as a dish pig.

- You know if there's one thing I cannot stand,

it's fat girls playing their wacky, zany, funny card

to cover up their insecurities.

(box thudding)

Oh don't be such a big baby.

(stammers) Don't leave your shit with me.

(tense dramatic music) * Ooh, la

* Ooh, la

* Ooh, la

* Ooh, la

* Ooh, la

* Ooh, la

* Ooh, la

* Ooh, la

* Ooh

- Knock, knock. (vacuum cleaner roaring)

Won't be long.

- I can do it myself, mom.

- I'm doing the other rooms anyways.

Finally doing your enrollment I see.

(tense whimsical music)

(birds chirping)

(Birds squawking)

(car engine revving) (car engine growling)

- Chef West (laughs)?

Dude, it's been crazy.

After I came back from London,

I was just sick and tired of being someone's bitch,

you know?

I just wanna do my food in my own joint,

and be close to the Hill, so I start this place.

And the first year, I got my first hat,

second year, second hat.

This is my third year and you know what?

I don't really care about that bullshit.

- No well it's like with my Michelin Stars.

- Yeah, it didn't even matter when Eminem raved about me

or Marco Pierre White named us

his fave Australian restaurant.

No, no, for me,

it's about being able to express my life journey.

through my food.

Nainai.

She's inspired my whole menu. (people murmuring)

Anyway, enough about me.

What can I do you for?

- Well, actually, I'm here to offer you an opportunity.

How would you like to get in on the ground?

- Oh, wait, wait, wait, ah, here we go, thanks, Kwame.

Deep-fried snapper on betel leaf, locally sourced.

Try it. (uptempo cheery music)

(patrons laughing)

It's good, right?

People go nuts for it.

It's even got its own hashtag.

- I'm not really across that stuff.

- You should catch up.

Anyway, sorry, you were saying?

- Yes well, I'm not sure if you've heard,

but I'm starting up my own- - Wait, wait, wait.

Wait till you try this, meat pie dumpling

with Nan's special sauce.

(Easton grunting)

(Easton munching)

Right?

People dig the authentic, but with a twist thing.

Actually, I have you to thank for that.

Do you remember when you fired me?

You said I'd never be anything more

than a small town Chinese cook.

Turns out you were right.

It worked out pretty well though.

- Oh, I don't remember saying that.

- I do. (patrons laughing)

- All right, look.

I know I'm not the most popular guy at the moment,

but cheffing is what I'm known for,

and when all this bullshit has blown over,

I really wanna get something going here.

- Dude dude, (stammers) come on, blow over (laughs)?

This isn't just about Shanghai, this is your whole career.

Bullying, abuse, sexism, generally just being a dick,

you are gonna need to take some time,

like find a new narrative or something

'cause people are over the angry white guy shtick.

- It's not a shtick.

- Then people are over you.

(plate clanking)

My Nan's mapo balls,

#nansballs. (chair creaking)

- What a prick. (car engine growling)

(Easton sighing)

(car tires screeching)

(grunts) Come on, for fuck's sake!

(horn honking) Move it!

Jesus.

Shoot! (door slamming)

Move!

Fucking get out!

You aren't better than me, you're a, you're a bird!

ya fucking mangy, fucking flightless fuck!

(bird chirping)

Fuck you!

(tense dramatic music) Fuck (sobs).

(birds chirping)

(gunshot booming)

(stammers) Jesus Christ.

- Thanks for scaring her off, dickhead.

- Is nobody in this place just a little bit happy to see me?

- Happy to see the back of you.

- Did it occur to you that I might just wanna see my family,

say hello?

- Well,

hello.

- Hello Dad.

(gunshot booming).

- [Pop] Gotcha.

There's your cock-and-van sorted.

- It's coq au vin!

And it's with chicken, ya, ya lunatic (sighs).

(animals calling)

- You know the best thing about people hating you.

once they've done hating you, they just forget about you.

- I didn't think you liked desserts.

- Well, I like Diana's.

- It taste like mom's custard.

(tense dramatic music) (fire crackling)

When was the last time you used the fire pit?

- Oh, buggered if I know.

But if you are doing a cookout, you better invite Diana.

She's always on my bloody arse about it.

- Yeah, good idea.

(phone beeping).

(uptempo dramatic music)

* Ooh

(crickets chirping)

* Ooh

- What's all this?

- You said you wanted a cookout.

- Who invited you, dickhead?

- Clearly not you, you asshole.

Okay, it's just seriously next level, I mean,

mom used to tell me about the pit and the barbecue, but,

oh man, the taste

is good.

- Oh, it's not that good.

- My rabbit's raw.

I think you're trying to kill me.

- [Easton] No, I just didn't burn it to a crisp

like you would've done. - I thought cooks

were meant to cook.

- Oh, I almost forgot.

I believe this is yours.

- Thanks.

(cutlery clanking)

- Also, I tried your cakes.

I might have trained in top french kitchens,

but the reason I started cooking was actually my mom.

I think she'd be proud.

- Yeah, well, I'm, you know,

all about that authentic family shit,

and I just put my own Diana spin on it.

- You see, that's fantastic.

It's a narrative, it's your narrative.

in a way it's our narrative.

- What a wanker.

I'm going to bed.

- Don't choke on your own vomit.

- [Pop] Don't drown in your own bullshit.

- So is you plan, just to stick it out at the stall?

- I don't know, I mean,

I probably won't even have that for that much longer

because I'm broke, and mom's on my back about Uni,

so I don't become you, So yeah, I don't know.

- Don't ever let anybody tell you what to do with your life.

I didn't.

And don't underestimate yourself,

you're more than just some baker.

- Okay.

- Look, if you found someone with clout

who could raise your profile, you could become huge.

- Yeah, I know that's why I wanted Nigella's deets.

- You know what, Nigella is a hack,

and she can't make you one of the greatest pastry chefs

in the world.

What you need is someone to partner up with,

build something together, take it to the next level.

(uptempo dramatic music)

- And that someone is you?

- That's what family's for, right?

- So I would be your partner?

- Or apprentice.

- Partner.

- Sure,

partner.

Great, we open in a month. (Diana laughing)

- (laughs) Yeah, we open in a month, yeah.

(upbeat dramatic music)

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, no, no, na, na, ne, no *

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no

* Na, na, ne, no