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1
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- Action.
- Design.
2
00:00:35,180 --> 00:00:37,583
♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪
3
00:00:38,683 --> 00:00:41,484
♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪
4
00:00:48,321 --> 00:00:51,423
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪
5
00:00:51,456 --> 00:00:55,058
♪ It's the best time
of the year ♪
6
00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:59,294
♪ I don't know
if there'll be snow ♪
7
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,829
♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪
8
00:01:01,863 --> 00:01:05,298
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪
9
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:08,166
♪ And when you walk
down the street... ♪
10
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:12,201
Another one?
11
00:01:12,235 --> 00:01:16,203
Well, I'm still vertical,
so I'd like to change that.
12
00:01:16,237 --> 00:01:19,574
♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪
13
00:01:19,607 --> 00:01:22,174
♪ Hung where you can see ♪
14
00:01:22,842 --> 00:01:25,209
♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪
15
00:01:25,243 --> 00:01:27,444
Ho, ho.
16
00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:31,279
Bitter. Pint.
17
00:01:32,446 --> 00:01:33,848
You just get off?
18
00:01:33,882 --> 00:01:36,717
♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪
19
00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:39,117
♪ Oh, by golly,
have a holly... ♪
20
00:01:39,151 --> 00:01:40,852
I'm taking a break.
21
00:01:40,886 --> 00:01:43,186
Between shifts,
I guess you could say.
22
00:01:43,219 --> 00:01:44,654
- Hmm.
- You ain't driving, are you?
23
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:47,723
I steer a little, but the
reindeer do most of the work.
24
00:01:50,658 --> 00:01:52,158
Mm-hmm.
25
00:01:52,191 --> 00:01:54,359
This is my, uh,
fourth year as a Santa.
26
00:01:54,392 --> 00:01:55,561
Ah.
27
00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:56,795
How about you?
28
00:01:56,828 --> 00:01:59,195
Lost count.
29
00:01:59,228 --> 00:02:02,197
I forget why I started doing it
in the first place.
30
00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:05,399
Same reason anybody
does anything.
31
00:02:05,433 --> 00:02:07,233
The money.
32
00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:09,836
Money. Money.
33
00:02:09,869 --> 00:02:11,804
This whole planet runs on greed.
34
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:18,908
It's the look on
the kiddies' faces, innit?
35
00:02:18,941 --> 00:02:20,575
That's what does it for me.
36
00:02:20,609 --> 00:02:24,511
Ah, the look. Yeah, that look.
37
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,479
Lasts about two seconds.
38
00:02:26,512 --> 00:02:28,814
As soon as they're finished
unwrapping,
39
00:02:28,847 --> 00:02:31,381
they want the next present,
40
00:02:31,414 --> 00:02:34,183
they want the next cool thing.
41
00:02:34,216 --> 00:02:36,184
That's how this world works.
42
00:02:36,217 --> 00:02:38,251
And kids...
What kids have become.
43
00:02:38,285 --> 00:02:42,387
They're just like
little junkies.
44
00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:44,923
They're little shits.
They just demand.
45
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:46,690
They don't believe.
46
00:02:46,724 --> 00:02:50,493
They just want, crave, consume.
47
00:02:55,328 --> 00:02:57,697
Maybe this is my last year.
48
00:02:57,731 --> 00:02:59,765
♪ ♪
49
00:02:59,798 --> 00:03:02,165
The last Christmas.
50
00:03:05,501 --> 00:03:09,370
Well, I can't stand seeing
another Santa in distress.
51
00:03:10,336 --> 00:03:11,805
Put his drinks on my tab.
52
00:03:11,839 --> 00:03:13,372
- Okay?
- Yeah.
53
00:03:13,405 --> 00:03:15,907
Oh, very merry of you. Okay.
54
00:03:15,941 --> 00:03:18,408
I better get going.
55
00:03:18,441 --> 00:03:20,610
Presents aren't gonna
deliver themselves.
56
00:03:21,745 --> 00:03:23,779
Oh, uh...
57
00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:25,680
For your grandson.
Save me a trip.
58
00:03:25,713 --> 00:03:27,514
It's, uh, that new video game.
59
00:03:27,547 --> 00:03:30,516
It's Astro Blaster,Blaster Astro.
60
00:03:30,549 --> 00:03:32,349
I-I don't know.
61
00:03:32,383 --> 00:03:33,785
Merry Christmas.
62
00:03:33,818 --> 00:03:36,252
How'd he know
my grandson's name?
63
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:39,387
How'd he know I have
a grandson? -
64
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:43,623
Oi! That door leads to the roof.
65
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:44,924
Piss head.
66
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:47,593
Go easy on him. It's Christmas.
67
00:03:49,694 --> 00:03:52,962
Hey! You can't be up here.
68
00:03:52,995 --> 00:03:56,698
If you break your neck,
I'm the one...
69
00:04:08,972 --> 00:04:10,973
♪ ♪
70
00:04:16,643 --> 00:04:19,176
My God.
71
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:25,815
It's...
72
00:04:27,883 --> 00:04:29,450
beauti...
73
00:04:33,619 --> 00:04:35,688
♪ ♪
74
00:05:16,309 --> 00:05:18,446
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
75
00:05:18,479 --> 00:05:20,747
There she is. Hello, muffin.
76
00:05:21,747 --> 00:05:24,214
Let's go see Grandma.
77
00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,316
Ooh.
78
00:05:27,349 --> 00:05:29,552
Merry Christmas.
79
00:05:31,786 --> 00:05:33,454
Merry Christmas, Trudy.
80
00:05:33,487 --> 00:05:34,488
Merry...
81
00:05:34,521 --> 00:05:36,321
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
82
00:05:36,354 --> 00:05:39,658
Merry Christmas, Daddy,
ya filthy animal.
83
00:05:41,291 --> 00:05:43,460
She got to stay up late
and watch Home Alone.
84
00:05:43,493 --> 00:05:44,359
Uh-huh.
85
00:05:44,394 --> 00:05:47,327
It was so funny.
86
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,863
- Yep.
- That... that hurts.
87
00:05:49,896 --> 00:05:51,465
- All morning.
- Okay, um...
88
00:05:51,498 --> 00:05:53,399
Thank you.
89
00:05:54,332 --> 00:05:56,300
For doing this.
90
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:58,502
I'm not doing it for you.
91
00:06:00,036 --> 00:06:02,437
- It's Christmas!
- Yeah!
92
00:06:02,471 --> 00:06:04,505
♪ ♪
93
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,015
Merry Christmas, Al.
94
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,884
Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas.
95
00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:26,885
- Mr. Lightstone.
- Hey, Al.
96
00:06:26,918 --> 00:06:28,419
Hey, you back there, Tru?
97
00:06:28,452 --> 00:06:29,987
Yeah, I bet you're excited
for Christmas.
98
00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:31,921
What did you ask Santa for?
99
00:06:31,955 --> 00:06:33,555
Not to work on Christmas Eve.
100
00:06:33,589 --> 00:06:35,056
Must've been naughty this year,
101
00:06:35,089 --> 00:06:36,758
- 'cause here I am.
- Mm-hmm.
102
00:06:36,791 --> 00:06:38,892
Just make sure you let Santa
through the gates later, Al.
103
00:06:38,925 --> 00:06:40,358
- Yeah.
- Have a merry one, now.
104
00:06:40,392 --> 00:06:42,393
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Al.
105
00:06:42,427 --> 00:06:44,395
Merry Christmas, Tru.
106
00:06:44,428 --> 00:06:45,829
- Thank you, Al.
- Yeah.
107
00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:48,263
♪ ♪
108
00:07:03,106 --> 00:07:05,541
♪ ♪
109
00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:11,544
I can't remember
where the second one is.
110
00:07:14,579 --> 00:07:16,647
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
111
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,414
Merry Christmas.
112
00:07:18,448 --> 00:07:20,482
Hope you're on the nice list.
113
00:07:20,516 --> 00:07:23,316
That doesn't go over there.
114
00:07:30,922 --> 00:07:32,790
Excuse me.
115
00:07:36,825 --> 00:07:38,627
What the hell is this?
116
00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:40,928
You are the worst
catering company on the planet.
117
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,962
It's lengthwise, not width.
118
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,830
Unbelievable.
119
00:07:44,863 --> 00:07:47,297
♪ ♪
120
00:08:01,573 --> 00:08:02,541
Okay.
121
00:08:02,574 --> 00:08:04,675
Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas.
122
00:08:04,708 --> 00:08:06,676
- Hi.
- I'm fine. Thank you so much.
123
00:08:09,511 --> 00:08:13,446
I'll never get over the fact
that you grew up like this.
124
00:08:14,548 --> 00:08:16,849
My therapist says
I'll never get over it, either.
125
00:08:17,816 --> 00:08:18,950
I need a drink.
126
00:08:18,983 --> 00:08:20,551
♪ Two turtledoves ♪
127
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:23,586
♪ And a partridge
in a pear tree... ♪
128
00:08:23,619 --> 00:08:26,854
Hey, look at that.
129
00:08:35,827 --> 00:08:37,594
Hi, Linda.
130
00:08:37,627 --> 00:08:39,829
- Hey.
- How's it going, Alva?
131
00:08:39,862 --> 00:08:41,596
Mm-hmm. You gained weight.
132
00:08:41,629 --> 00:08:44,464
Looks good on you, though.
133
00:08:44,498 --> 00:08:46,432
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
134
00:08:46,465 --> 00:08:47,967
'Sup, limp dick?
135
00:08:49,601 --> 00:08:51,101
I got great feelings
about this Christmas.
136
00:08:51,135 --> 00:08:53,436
- You want to know why?
- Yeah.
137
00:08:53,469 --> 00:08:55,405
'Cause I think this is the year
138
00:08:55,437 --> 00:08:57,439
that Mom's gonna
kick herself upstairs
139
00:08:57,472 --> 00:08:59,841
and choose one of us
to start running the show.
140
00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:04,410
And I got to tell you, Jason,
that I'm gunning for your ass.
141
00:09:05,777 --> 00:09:07,578
What would a Lightstone
family Christmas be
142
00:09:07,611 --> 00:09:09,446
without groveling
and infighting?
143
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,480
Your rosé, ma'am.
144
00:09:12,514 --> 00:09:15,049
Honey, smile. It's Christmas.
145
00:09:15,082 --> 00:09:16,383
Mm.
146
00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:17,851
Good. Good girl.
147
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,421
I am sorry about my sister.
148
00:09:23,454 --> 00:09:25,856
♪ Making spirits bright ♪
149
00:09:25,889 --> 00:09:28,890
♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing... ♪
150
00:09:28,923 --> 00:09:31,358
It is really nice to see you.
151
00:09:33,026 --> 00:09:35,394
To have you here.
152
00:09:35,428 --> 00:09:38,596
♪ Jingle all the way... ♪
153
00:09:38,629 --> 00:09:41,965
Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up
on all the hot goss.
154
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,832
Hot goss. Okay.
155
00:09:43,866 --> 00:09:47,668
Um, well, you remember Bert,
my sister's pride and joy.
156
00:09:47,702 --> 00:09:51,537
Yo, yo, yo.
This is the Bert Locker
157
00:09:51,570 --> 00:09:55,472
living that bling life
on Christmas Eve.
158
00:09:56,974 --> 00:09:58,474
Hashtag "blessed."
159
00:09:58,507 --> 00:10:00,876
He just got
what I can only assume
160
00:10:00,909 --> 00:10:04,111
will be his first of many
sexual harassment accusations.
161
00:10:04,144 --> 00:10:05,879
Mom paid off the school,
162
00:10:05,912 --> 00:10:08,013
and now the gymnasium
is named after us.
163
00:10:08,046 --> 00:10:10,014
Of course she did.
164
00:10:10,047 --> 00:10:11,082
What about Tragic Mike?
165
00:10:11,115 --> 00:10:12,916
All I'm saying is,
166
00:10:12,949 --> 00:10:14,683
if I was on one of those planes,
167
00:10:14,717 --> 00:10:16,684
9/11 would've ended
with a bunch of terrorists
168
00:10:16,718 --> 00:10:20,487
skydiving over Connecticut
without their parachutes.
169
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,521
- Yeah. You like that?
- Yes. Yes.
170
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,656
- Yeah, I do like it.
- Ooh.
171
00:10:24,689 --> 00:10:26,991
- Kiss me in front of my son.
- Now, huh?
172
00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:29,659
Mm...
173
00:10:29,692 --> 00:10:31,660
He might actually be
a decent actor.
174
00:10:31,693 --> 00:10:33,728
-Hmm. -He's been doing
an Oscar-worthy job
175
00:10:33,761 --> 00:10:36,196
- of pretending to find
my sister appealing. -
176
00:10:36,229 --> 00:10:38,864
Now he wants Mom
to fund a film for him.
177
00:10:41,799 --> 00:10:43,767
- It's Gertrude!
- It's Mom.
178
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,768
- Okay, let's do this.
- Okay, okay. Come on.
179
00:10:45,801 --> 00:10:47,535
- Come on. Bert, get over here.
- No. Mom. Mom!
180
00:10:47,569 --> 00:10:48,770
- Positions.
- Game time, buddy.
181
00:10:48,803 --> 00:10:50,604
- Okay. Okay.
- This is my good side.
182
00:10:50,638 --> 00:10:52,438
I'm busy. -ALVA:
We've gone over this! Come on!
183
00:10:52,472 --> 00:10:53,539
Gosh. Okay.
184
00:10:53,573 --> 00:10:54,840
Bert, get in the middle.
185
00:10:54,873 --> 00:10:56,074
So it begins.
186
00:10:56,108 --> 00:10:58,009
Seriously, come.
You know what that means.
187
00:10:58,042 --> 00:11:00,043
Shall we jockey forward?
188
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,911
No.
189
00:11:03,045 --> 00:11:05,647
No, we can hang back.
190
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,047
Yeah.
191
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,782
Trudy, honey?
192
00:11:10,549 --> 00:11:11,683
Come on over here.
193
00:11:13,118 --> 00:11:15,185
Just, like...
194
00:11:15,219 --> 00:11:17,053
Threaten 'em or bribe 'em.
195
00:11:17,086 --> 00:11:18,487
This isn't rocket science.
196
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,955
Same shit we always do.
197
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:22,924
That's what?
198
00:11:22,957 --> 00:11:25,125
That's the best you can do?
199
00:11:25,158 --> 00:11:27,059
Excited to see your grandma?
200
00:11:27,092 --> 00:11:28,526
Listen, you cocksucker.
201
00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:30,460
It's Christmas,
so why don't you take
202
00:11:30,494 --> 00:11:32,195
your best offer, gift wrap it,
203
00:11:32,229 --> 00:11:35,230
and ram it up your fucking box.
204
00:11:36,698 --> 00:11:38,899
Maybe you don't
realize who I am.
205
00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:40,600
Those were Grandma words.
You know, forget them.
206
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,235
Oh, boy.
Look at Mr. Cool back here.
207
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:44,669
Yeah, what's your angle, man?
Hmm?
208
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:47,137
No angle.
I'm not doing anything.
209
00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:48,738
Oh, yeah.
210
00:11:48,772 --> 00:11:50,539
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!
211
00:11:50,572 --> 00:11:53,242
Don't shit in my mouth
and tell me it's chocolate cake.
212
00:11:53,275 --> 00:11:54,641
Grandma's cool.
213
00:11:54,675 --> 00:11:56,876
I can make that story go away...
214
00:11:56,909 --> 00:11:58,678
I think your brother's
up to something.
215
00:11:58,711 --> 00:12:00,512
No, I just decided
to let you guys
216
00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:02,179
have all the fun
sucking up to Mom today.
217
00:12:02,212 --> 00:12:05,048
Please. You are King Suck-up.
218
00:12:05,081 --> 00:12:07,082
You named your kid Gertrude.
219
00:12:08,582 --> 00:12:10,817
Alva, you named
your son Bertrude.
220
00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:12,786
Okay.
221
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,720
Sorry, Bert,
but that's not a real name.
222
00:12:14,753 --> 00:12:17,256
Sorry, Linda. We can't all be
lucky enough to have daughters.
223
00:12:17,289 --> 00:12:19,489
Mom, I can hear you.
224
00:12:20,556 --> 00:12:22,991
You know something we don't.
What is it?
225
00:12:23,024 --> 00:12:24,759
No, I don't. I don't.
226
00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:25,960
I got it. Bingo.
227
00:12:25,993 --> 00:12:27,127
I'm onto you, man. Come on!
228
00:12:27,161 --> 00:12:28,962
- We were just...
- Come on,
229
00:12:28,995 --> 00:12:30,162
come on, come on, come on.
230
00:12:30,195 --> 00:12:32,496
- You big sack of shit.
- Ooh.
231
00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:34,131
No wonder your husband left you.
232
00:12:34,165 --> 00:12:36,566
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
233
00:12:37,566 --> 00:12:39,867
Merry Christmas to you, too,
Senator.
234
00:12:40,735 --> 00:12:42,502
- Merry Christmas, Mommy.
- Merry Christmas.
235
00:12:44,004 --> 00:12:45,571
Merry Christmas.
236
00:12:45,604 --> 00:12:48,073
Why in the hell are you standing
all the way back there?
237
00:12:49,139 --> 00:12:51,041
Merry Christmas, Grandma!
238
00:12:51,075 --> 00:12:52,976
- Aw.
- Little bitch.
239
00:12:53,009 --> 00:12:55,610
Little Gertrude. And how is
my favorite granddaughter?
240
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:58,012
Everybody calls me Trudy now.
241
00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,813
Trudy?
242
00:13:01,046 --> 00:13:03,282
-Well, that makes her
sound like a whore. -Okay.
243
00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:05,916
Oh, she doesn't even know
the meaning of the word.
244
00:13:05,949 --> 00:13:08,184
I'm starving. Let's eat.
245
00:13:08,218 --> 00:13:09,785
Great.
246
00:13:09,819 --> 00:13:12,153
And, Mom, I think Gertrude
is a beautiful name.
247
00:13:12,187 --> 00:13:14,588
Mm-hmm.
I only call her Gertrude.
248
00:13:14,621 --> 00:13:15,822
- Merry Christmas, Gertrude.
- Come on, Bertrude.
249
00:13:15,855 --> 00:13:19,658
♪ When the kids
are fast asleep ♪
250
00:13:19,691 --> 00:13:22,193
♪ Gently down the stairs
we'll creep ♪
251
00:13:23,893 --> 00:13:26,762
♪ Then we'll lock and bolt
all the doors ♪
252
00:13:26,795 --> 00:13:30,298
♪ Just you and me
and Santa Claus ♪
253
00:13:31,864 --> 00:13:34,699
♪ We'll be as quiet
as quiet can be ♪
254
00:13:34,733 --> 00:13:37,935
♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪
255
00:13:37,968 --> 00:13:41,937
♪ We'll be crawling around
on all fours ♪
256
00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:43,604
♪ Just you and me ♪
257
00:13:43,637 --> 00:13:46,106
♪ And Santa Claus ♪
258
00:13:47,841 --> 00:13:49,908
♪ ♪
259
00:13:53,643 --> 00:13:55,611
♪ For soon will be ♪
260
00:13:55,644 --> 00:13:57,280
♪ That magic time ♪
261
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:59,848
♪ When we hear
that midnight chime ♪
262
00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:03,250
♪ When that flying sleigh ♪
263
00:14:03,283 --> 00:14:05,684
♪ Finally flies away ♪
264
00:14:05,717 --> 00:14:08,853
♪ We'll have a very merry
Christmas Day ♪
265
00:14:08,886 --> 00:14:13,289
♪ We'll raise a toast
to the team with the most ♪
266
00:14:13,323 --> 00:14:16,691
♪ The best there ever was ♪
267
00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:20,760
♪ You and me
and Santa Claus... ♪
268
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:23,661
Another fucking Christmas.
269
00:14:26,896 --> 00:14:28,698
I made these all by myself.
270
00:14:28,731 --> 00:14:30,132
- No way.
- Mm-hmm.
271
00:14:30,166 --> 00:14:32,300
I even made one
that looks exactly like Santa.
272
00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:34,934
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
273
00:14:35,769 --> 00:14:37,170
Santa gets a candy cane, too?
274
00:14:37,203 --> 00:14:38,770
Yeah.
275
00:14:38,803 --> 00:14:40,038
Mm, okay.
276
00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,040
It's perfect.
277
00:14:43,073 --> 00:14:44,774
No peeking.
278
00:14:44,807 --> 00:14:47,142
This house has so many chimneys.
279
00:14:48,742 --> 00:14:50,943
How will Santa know
which one to come down?
280
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,844
Oh, Santa just knows.
281
00:14:52,878 --> 00:14:54,546
Christmas magic.
282
00:14:57,282 --> 00:14:59,015
Honey, what's wrong?
283
00:14:59,049 --> 00:15:02,683
Daddy never took me to see
Santa at the mall this year.
284
00:15:03,285 --> 00:15:05,685
He didn't.
285
00:15:07,987 --> 00:15:09,988
I am so sorry.
286
00:15:11,822 --> 00:15:13,757
This year has been weird.
287
00:15:13,791 --> 00:15:17,326
I never got to tell Santa
what I wanted for Christmas.
288
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,960
Oh, honey. Come here.
289
00:15:23,695 --> 00:15:26,165
You know what?
290
00:15:26,198 --> 00:15:30,334
You go put your pj's on,
291
00:15:30,368 --> 00:15:33,635
and I will be two minutes.
292
00:15:35,137 --> 00:15:37,571
♪ ♪
293
00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:41,706
Yes!
294
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,376
Okay...
295
00:15:53,314 --> 00:15:55,081
Yes.
296
00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:00,851
Yes!
297
00:16:02,186 --> 00:16:06,687
Because you have been so good
to me and Mommy this year,
298
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,690
we decided that
you could have one gift...
299
00:16:10,723 --> 00:16:12,358
early!
300
00:16:12,392 --> 00:16:14,992
Really?
301
00:16:18,994 --> 00:16:21,096
What is it?
302
00:16:22,997 --> 00:16:26,632
That is a very special
walkie-talkie.
303
00:16:26,666 --> 00:16:28,066
It's magic.
304
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,335
- Magic?
- Mm-hmm.
305
00:16:29,368 --> 00:16:31,702
What you got right there
306
00:16:31,735 --> 00:16:33,970
is a direct hotline
to Santa Claus himself.
307
00:16:34,003 --> 00:16:36,805
- I can talk to Santa?
- Oh, yeah.
308
00:16:36,839 --> 00:16:40,841
It's just like writing him
a letter... but better.
309
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:41,775
Mm-hmm.
310
00:16:41,808 --> 00:16:44,377
Now, the only thing is,
311
00:16:44,411 --> 00:16:46,878
he might not have time
to answer you.
312
00:16:46,911 --> 00:16:48,946
He's delivering a lot
of presents tonight.
313
00:16:48,979 --> 00:16:50,012
Mm-hmm.
314
00:16:50,046 --> 00:16:52,914
But he'll hear everything
you want to say to him.
315
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,121
Hello, Santa?
316
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:04,654
This is Trudy Lightstone.
317
00:17:04,688 --> 00:17:06,722
I hope you're having
a nice night.
318
00:17:06,755 --> 00:17:08,823
Mm.
319
00:17:08,857 --> 00:17:13,693
It's really cold tonight,
so don't forget your mittens.
320
00:17:14,394 --> 00:17:17,729
So, I wanted to tell you, Santa,
321
00:17:17,762 --> 00:17:19,397
I was extra good this year,
322
00:17:19,431 --> 00:17:23,765
so I wrote a big list for you
with all the stuff I wanted.
323
00:17:25,033 --> 00:17:26,901
But then...
324
00:17:26,934 --> 00:17:30,237
then I realized
I don't need any of that.
325
00:17:31,271 --> 00:17:34,972
I really only want
one present for Christmas.
326
00:17:36,474 --> 00:17:40,209
I want Mommy and Daddy
to make up
327
00:17:40,243 --> 00:17:42,776
so we can be a family again.
328
00:17:43,911 --> 00:17:45,412
Okay.
329
00:17:45,446 --> 00:17:47,813
Good night, Santa.
330
00:17:49,081 --> 00:17:51,048
Good night, Mr. Bunny.
331
00:18:03,389 --> 00:18:05,158
Which one of you did that?
332
00:18:06,424 --> 00:18:07,892
You can't go two seconds without
333
00:18:07,925 --> 00:18:09,893
crapping on the roof
like a bunch of pigeons?
334
00:18:11,361 --> 00:18:14,662
So unprofessional.
335
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,898
You know, Rudolph
will never do this crap.
336
00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:28,837
♪ ♪
337
00:18:33,073 --> 00:18:34,806
Hmm.
338
00:18:39,042 --> 00:18:40,877
Mmm.
339
00:18:47,382 --> 00:18:49,815
Mmm, mmm.
340
00:18:50,949 --> 00:18:53,018
Homemade.
341
00:18:53,051 --> 00:18:54,319
Mmm.
342
00:18:58,254 --> 00:19:00,223
Ugh.
343
00:19:00,256 --> 00:19:01,923
Skim.
344
00:19:12,130 --> 00:19:13,763
Oh, yeah.
345
00:19:13,796 --> 00:19:15,897
That's the stuff.
346
00:19:20,234 --> 00:19:22,168
Mmm.
347
00:19:23,169 --> 00:19:24,936
DuBoi...
348
00:19:24,969 --> 00:19:27,938
- On some prewar shit
right there. -
349
00:19:27,971 --> 00:19:30,307
Good shit.
350
00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:43,447
Mmm.
351
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,216
That pairs well.
352
00:19:45,249 --> 00:19:47,983
What do we have here?
353
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,061
Oh, yeah.
354
00:20:06,094 --> 00:20:07,994
That's the stuff.
355
00:20:16,932 --> 00:20:19,968
You know, uh...
356
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:22,936
Christmas is all right,
357
00:20:22,970 --> 00:20:26,738
but you Americans don't
celebrate my favorite holiday.
358
00:20:27,373 --> 00:20:29,241
Oh, yeah? What?
359
00:20:29,274 --> 00:20:30,974
Boxing Day.
360
00:20:34,277 --> 00:20:36,311
♪ ♪
361
00:21:04,294 --> 00:21:05,861
Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here,
362
00:21:05,894 --> 00:21:07,463
live streaming the dream,
you know.
363
00:21:07,496 --> 00:21:10,164
They say the richest man...
364
00:21:11,299 --> 00:21:13,133
Say goodbye.
365
00:21:13,166 --> 00:21:14,966
And if you...
366
00:21:16,068 --> 00:21:19,069
Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick.
367
00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:20,803
Damn it!
368
00:21:20,837 --> 00:21:23,272
When he was small,
I begged you to beat him.
369
00:21:40,848 --> 00:21:42,849
Hey. Merry Christmas.
370
00:21:42,882 --> 00:21:44,351
Or should I say
"happy holidays" now?
371
00:21:44,385 --> 00:21:46,552
Right? I mean, it's like,
people, make up your minds.
372
00:21:46,586 --> 00:21:48,819
- You know what I'm saying?
- Can I help you?
373
00:21:48,853 --> 00:21:50,554
Oh, yeah. I sure hope so.
See, uh,
374
00:21:50,588 --> 00:21:52,422
my car broke down
a little ways...
375
00:21:52,455 --> 00:21:54,290
Out here?
This is a private road.
376
00:21:54,323 --> 00:21:56,125
You're telling me.
377
00:21:56,158 --> 00:21:58,393
It's the first place
I've seen for miles.
378
00:21:58,426 --> 00:21:59,593
I think I got frostbite.
379
00:21:59,626 --> 00:22:01,061
Where the hell am I, anyway?
380
00:22:01,094 --> 00:22:02,861
G.T. Lightstone family compound.
381
00:22:02,894 --> 00:22:04,795
I'll call you a tow.
382
00:22:11,266 --> 00:22:13,601
♪ ♪
383
00:22:13,634 --> 00:22:15,569
All right, revelers.
384
00:22:15,603 --> 00:22:17,437
Time to steal Christmas.
385
00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:18,836
Sound off.
386
00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:20,306
Jingle. Check.
387
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,140
Peppermint. Check.
388
00:22:22,173 --> 00:22:23,440
Sugarplum. Check.
389
00:22:23,473 --> 00:22:26,375
Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up.
390
00:22:26,409 --> 00:22:28,209
Candy Cane. Check.
391
00:22:28,243 --> 00:22:30,910
- Go for Frosty.
- Go for Tinsel.
392
00:22:30,943 --> 00:22:32,478
Go for Gingerbread.
393
00:22:32,512 --> 00:22:35,447
Are we gonna use these stupid
code names all night?
394
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,082
'Tis the season.
395
00:22:37,114 --> 00:22:40,883
Welcome to your worst
Christmas ever.
396
00:22:40,916 --> 00:22:44,252
Trudy loves seeing Santa
at the mall.
397
00:22:45,086 --> 00:22:46,919
She loves going with her father.
398
00:22:46,952 --> 00:22:48,455
And you should've
taken her yesterday,
399
00:22:48,488 --> 00:22:49,921
like you do every Christmas,
400
00:22:49,955 --> 00:22:51,556
but we didn't even
hear from you.
401
00:22:51,589 --> 00:22:52,957
Mom put me on a special project.
402
00:22:52,991 --> 00:22:54,325
- It's complicated.
- But it's not,
403
00:22:54,358 --> 00:22:56,359
because it keeps happening
over and over.
404
00:22:56,392 --> 00:22:59,094
-Your mother forcing herself
between us. -You're right.
405
00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:03,030
♪ ♪
406
00:23:03,963 --> 00:23:05,998
What if we could give Trudy
her Christmas wish?
407
00:23:06,031 --> 00:23:08,099
You're trying to win me back
408
00:23:08,132 --> 00:23:10,600
with a romantic weekend
at your mother's?
409
00:23:10,634 --> 00:23:14,136
What if things
really changed this time?
410
00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:18,238
We got out from under
my mother's thumb.
411
00:23:18,272 --> 00:23:20,073
We'll walk away.
412
00:23:20,106 --> 00:23:22,907
From the company, the family.
413
00:23:25,476 --> 00:23:27,177
Tonight.
414
00:23:27,977 --> 00:23:29,412
What are you up to?
415
00:24:14,672 --> 00:24:16,039
Let's go.
416
00:24:16,072 --> 00:24:18,474
We need to get you out of here.
417
00:24:18,507 --> 00:24:20,241
Mommy, where are you going?
418
00:24:20,274 --> 00:24:22,075
- She's going for the panic room!
- What?
419
00:24:22,109 --> 00:24:23,510
- Yes. Go, Bertrude.
- Without us?
420
00:24:29,179 --> 00:24:31,415
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.
421
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,095
There isn't room for all of us.
422
00:24:55,129 --> 00:24:56,662
She can fit at least two of us.
Mom, take me.
423
00:24:56,696 --> 00:24:58,663
- Mom!
- Oh. Yeah.
424
00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:00,531
M-Mom, can Bert come, too?
425
00:25:03,099 --> 00:25:04,434
Okay. Move it or lose it, son.
426
00:25:04,467 --> 00:25:06,034
- Move it!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
427
00:25:06,068 --> 00:25:08,136
You're supposed to protect us.
428
00:25:08,169 --> 00:25:09,936
We protect the primary asset.
429
00:25:13,672 --> 00:25:15,006
Who the hell are you?
430
00:25:15,039 --> 00:25:18,041
You can call me Mr. Scrooge.
431
00:25:18,609 --> 00:25:20,143
Hilarious.
432
00:25:20,176 --> 00:25:21,443
Get him.
433
00:25:30,082 --> 00:25:32,417
Bah humbug, motherfucker.
434
00:25:35,652 --> 00:25:37,853
♪ ♪
435
00:25:41,722 --> 00:25:44,123
Hey. Step aside.
436
00:25:45,290 --> 00:25:47,691
Tinsel, Peppermint,
sweep upstairs.
437
00:25:47,725 --> 00:25:50,093
I want all the Lightstones
together.
438
00:25:50,693 --> 00:25:52,494
Kill anybody else you find.
439
00:26:02,634 --> 00:26:05,469
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.
440
00:26:06,336 --> 00:26:08,971
Trudy, honey, we got to go.
441
00:26:09,704 --> 00:26:11,339
Wake up, honey. Wake up.
442
00:26:11,373 --> 00:26:14,207
Maybe we can get out the back
by the servants' stairs.
443
00:26:21,077 --> 00:26:23,446
Oh, come on. Not now. Not now.
444
00:26:24,580 --> 00:26:26,548
Fuck! Fuck!
445
00:26:26,581 --> 00:26:28,315
Mistletoe, gingerbread.
446
00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:53,363
Hey!
447
00:26:56,265 --> 00:26:57,466
Oh. Oh.
448
00:26:57,499 --> 00:26:59,000
Hi.
449
00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:01,534
You got me.
450
00:27:01,568 --> 00:27:04,069
I don't want any trouble, okay?
451
00:27:04,102 --> 00:27:05,737
Downstairs. Now.
452
00:27:05,771 --> 00:27:09,539
Look, mister,
I don't want to get involved.
453
00:27:09,573 --> 00:27:11,707
I just...
I just have a job to do.
454
00:27:11,740 --> 00:27:13,209
Okay? That's it.
455
00:27:13,242 --> 00:27:15,743
I'm just gonna take my bag,
456
00:27:15,776 --> 00:27:18,478
and I'm just gonna
scooch up that chimney.
457
00:27:20,079 --> 00:27:22,013
Enough talk. Let's go.
458
00:27:22,647 --> 00:27:24,381
You don't want to do this.
459
00:27:24,415 --> 00:27:25,582
What? This?
460
00:27:27,383 --> 00:27:28,617
Now, move!
461
00:27:28,650 --> 00:27:30,618
Are you deaf?
462
00:27:30,651 --> 00:27:32,619
Fucking move!
463
00:27:43,493 --> 00:27:45,360
No, no, no.
464
00:27:45,393 --> 00:27:48,462
No! Wait!
465
00:27:48,496 --> 00:27:49,762
Wait.
466
00:27:49,796 --> 00:27:51,464
Wait! Don't go!
467
00:27:51,497 --> 00:27:53,432
Come back!
468
00:29:08,475 --> 00:29:10,276
Oh, fuck!
469
00:29:34,323 --> 00:29:35,724
Oh, shit.
470
00:29:57,203 --> 00:30:01,072
Damn chickenshit reindeer
leave me here to die.
471
00:30:09,411 --> 00:30:12,579
♪ Violent night ♪
472
00:30:12,612 --> 00:30:15,614
♪ Gory night ♪
473
00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:17,748
♪ All is calm ♪
474
00:30:17,783 --> 00:30:22,217
♪ If all doesn't want to get
shot in the fucking head. ♪
475
00:30:22,819 --> 00:30:24,285
Cute.
476
00:30:24,319 --> 00:30:27,454
Do you have any idea
who you're fucking with?
477
00:30:30,891 --> 00:30:33,591
I know exactly
who I'm fucking with.
478
00:30:33,624 --> 00:30:35,693
Oh, wait, wait.
Did you actually think
479
00:30:35,726 --> 00:30:37,293
that I spent months
480
00:30:37,327 --> 00:30:39,862
planning a complex break-in
to the most secure
481
00:30:39,896 --> 00:30:41,729
private residence in the country
482
00:30:41,763 --> 00:30:43,496
and I didn't know
who lived here?
483
00:30:43,530 --> 00:30:44,799
Well, you're wrong.
484
00:30:44,832 --> 00:30:47,766
'Cause your staff are dead.
485
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:49,868
Your security are dead.
486
00:30:49,902 --> 00:30:53,369
Now, sit down
and shut the fuck up!
487
00:31:01,374 --> 00:31:03,675
♪ ♪
488
00:31:21,452 --> 00:31:23,486
Oh, fuck.
489
00:31:26,355 --> 00:31:27,757
We planned it. It's all right.
490
00:31:27,790 --> 00:31:29,490
It'll be solved
in a couple minutes.
491
00:31:29,523 --> 00:31:30,591
Better be solved.
492
00:31:30,624 --> 00:31:33,392
So much like a scene
from my movie Dark Ransom.
493
00:31:33,425 --> 00:31:34,660
Oh, my God.
494
00:31:35,794 --> 00:31:37,362
If they didn't have guns,
495
00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:39,363
I could take out three,
maybe four of them.
496
00:31:39,396 --> 00:31:41,497
Try all of them.
497
00:31:41,530 --> 00:31:44,165
Ew, Mom. Yuck.
498
00:31:44,199 --> 00:31:46,166
If you'd really done
your research, you'd know
499
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,701
that my brother Rory
was kidnapped in the '70s.
500
00:31:49,636 --> 00:31:52,236
But my father
never called the police.
501
00:31:52,269 --> 00:31:54,638
Dad sent in our own
private extraction team,
502
00:31:54,671 --> 00:31:58,307
and Rory was home
safe and sound a week later.
503
00:31:58,340 --> 00:32:01,876
And the kidnappers
were never found.
504
00:32:01,909 --> 00:32:04,176
If you get me.
505
00:32:05,611 --> 00:32:06,946
I know.
506
00:32:06,979 --> 00:32:09,914
I know all about
your extraction team
507
00:32:09,948 --> 00:32:11,782
that you affectionately call
"the Kill Squad"
508
00:32:11,815 --> 00:32:13,783
behind closed doors.
509
00:32:13,816 --> 00:32:15,550
I also know
that they're on their way
510
00:32:15,584 --> 00:32:17,551
and how long it's gonna
take 'em to get here.
511
00:32:17,585 --> 00:32:20,520
I even know their credit ratings
and their dick sizes.
512
00:32:20,553 --> 00:32:22,254
If you get me.
513
00:32:22,287 --> 00:32:24,522
Then you should also know
you're already dead.
514
00:32:24,555 --> 00:32:26,223
We don't do ransoms.
515
00:32:26,256 --> 00:32:28,759
Again, I know. I know.
516
00:32:28,792 --> 00:32:30,760
See, I know a lot, Gertrude.
517
00:32:30,793 --> 00:32:32,526
I really do.
518
00:32:32,559 --> 00:32:35,595
Like the fact that you have
300 million in U.S. dollars
519
00:32:35,628 --> 00:32:37,864
sitting in your personal vault
downstairs.
520
00:32:37,897 --> 00:32:39,931
- The fuck?
- That's right.
521
00:32:39,965 --> 00:32:42,699
300 million that
the U.S. government
522
00:32:42,733 --> 00:32:46,301
gave Lightstone to quietly
distribute in the Middle East
523
00:32:46,335 --> 00:32:47,803
to all the worst people,
524
00:32:47,836 --> 00:32:52,304
to grease the wheels
and keep that sweet oil flowing.
525
00:32:52,338 --> 00:32:56,607
300 million that... oops...
Disappeared in the fog of war.
526
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,777
Except it didn't really
disappear, did it, Gerty?
527
00:32:59,810 --> 00:33:01,243
'Cause you stole it.
528
00:33:01,276 --> 00:33:02,745
Did you know about this?
529
00:33:02,779 --> 00:33:04,278
Man, this family.
530
00:33:04,311 --> 00:33:07,447
This moneygrubbing family.
531
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,314
Clinging desperately
to your wealth,
532
00:33:09,348 --> 00:33:11,683
when your poor employees
don't even have enough coal
533
00:33:11,717 --> 00:33:13,583
to keep Tiny Tim warm.
534
00:33:13,617 --> 00:33:16,686
What is it with you
and all this Christmas shit?
535
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,687
Talk all you want.
536
00:33:18,721 --> 00:33:20,421
You'll never get in the vault.
537
00:33:20,454 --> 00:33:23,824
Oh, oh, oh, because when
you-you hit the panic button,
538
00:33:23,857 --> 00:33:25,692
it reset the combination?
539
00:33:25,725 --> 00:33:29,326
I keep telling you, I know.
540
00:33:30,027 --> 00:33:32,461
♪ ♪
541
00:33:33,930 --> 00:33:36,799
This is what breaking
into a vault has turned into?
542
00:33:36,831 --> 00:33:41,567
Remember when you just had to
drill holes and blow shit up?
543
00:33:41,599 --> 00:33:43,268
I don't know,
maybe I'm getting old,
544
00:33:43,301 --> 00:33:44,703
but there was something
romantic about that.
545
00:33:44,736 --> 00:33:46,904
Boss, you copy?
546
00:33:46,937 --> 00:33:48,838
I'm kind of busy here.
547
00:33:48,871 --> 00:33:51,472
You're gonna want to see this.
548
00:34:00,745 --> 00:34:02,446
Maybe he fell.
549
00:34:02,479 --> 00:34:03,947
You rappel down buildings
with him.
550
00:34:03,980 --> 00:34:06,347
You gonna tell me
he just fell out a window?
551
00:34:07,016 --> 00:34:08,983
All right, look lively, gang.
552
00:34:09,017 --> 00:34:10,818
We got a gopher.
553
00:34:26,359 --> 00:34:27,728
You know what?
554
00:34:27,761 --> 00:34:31,863
Um, I think Mr. Bunny
wants to go to sleep.
555
00:34:31,896 --> 00:34:33,865
So, let's tuck him in.
556
00:34:33,898 --> 00:34:35,598
Okay?
557
00:34:36,699 --> 00:34:38,500
It's gonna be okay.
558
00:34:40,634 --> 00:34:42,670
♪ ♪
559
00:34:52,575 --> 00:34:54,810
Hello? Santa?
560
00:34:54,844 --> 00:34:56,811
Are you there?
561
00:35:02,681 --> 00:35:04,482
Shit.
562
00:35:08,550 --> 00:35:11,053
This is
Candy Cane at checkpoint three.
563
00:35:11,086 --> 00:35:12,820
Oh, shit.
564
00:35:12,854 --> 00:35:14,654
Shit. Shit. Shit.
565
00:35:17,790 --> 00:35:19,758
Video game.
566
00:35:20,892 --> 00:35:22,325
Video game.
567
00:35:22,358 --> 00:35:24,493
Didn't anybody ask
for a bat or a sword
568
00:35:24,526 --> 00:35:27,628
or Molotov cocktails?
569
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,802
Wait.
570
00:35:44,105 --> 00:35:46,539
♪ ♪
571
00:35:52,576 --> 00:35:54,444
Mommy, I love you.
572
00:35:55,779 --> 00:35:57,780
Poetry book.
573
00:35:57,813 --> 00:35:59,981
Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck!
574
00:36:01,682 --> 00:36:05,517
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
575
00:36:05,550 --> 00:36:08,019
- ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
576
00:36:08,052 --> 00:36:09,953
♪ Ah-ooh ♪
577
00:36:09,987 --> 00:36:12,789
- ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh... ♪
578
00:36:14,355 --> 00:36:16,091
Safety's on, dipshit.
579
00:36:17,792 --> 00:36:21,060
-♪ Mamacita
-♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
580
00:36:21,094 --> 00:36:23,728
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
581
00:36:23,761 --> 00:36:25,062
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
582
00:36:25,096 --> 00:36:26,930
♪ I look for him because ♪
583
00:36:26,963 --> 00:36:28,898
Wait. Hang on. Hang on.
584
00:36:28,931 --> 00:36:30,398
♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪
585
00:36:30,431 --> 00:36:32,834
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Look.
586
00:36:32,867 --> 00:36:34,534
I don't want to kill you.
587
00:36:38,402 --> 00:36:42,006
Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard.
588
00:36:42,039 --> 00:36:44,306
Eh?
589
00:36:44,741 --> 00:36:46,708
Santa...
590
00:36:46,742 --> 00:36:48,776
I'm gonna rip
your fucking balls off.
591
00:36:53,378 --> 00:36:56,047
♪ I hope he won't forget
to crack his castanets ♪
592
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,615
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪
593
00:36:59,649 --> 00:37:02,117
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪
594
00:37:02,150 --> 00:37:04,084
Oh, shit.
595
00:37:07,452 --> 00:37:09,955
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
596
00:37:09,988 --> 00:37:12,089
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
597
00:37:13,990 --> 00:37:16,826
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
598
00:37:16,859 --> 00:37:18,492
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
599
00:37:18,525 --> 00:37:20,128
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
600
00:37:20,161 --> 00:37:22,062
♪ Christmas Eve ♪
601
00:37:22,095 --> 00:37:24,964
♪ ♪
602
00:37:31,601 --> 00:37:33,035
♪ I hope he won't forget ♪
603
00:37:33,068 --> 00:37:34,703
♪ To crack his castanets ♪
604
00:37:34,736 --> 00:37:38,638
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪
605
00:37:38,672 --> 00:37:42,740
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪
606
00:37:42,774 --> 00:37:46,509
♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪
607
00:37:46,542 --> 00:37:49,510
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
608
00:37:49,543 --> 00:37:51,979
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
609
00:37:52,012 --> 00:37:53,113
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
610
00:37:53,147 --> 00:37:55,081
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
611
00:37:55,114 --> 00:37:56,815
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
612
00:37:56,849 --> 00:38:00,483
- ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
- ♪ Christmas Eve ♪
613
00:38:00,517 --> 00:38:03,452
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
614
00:38:03,485 --> 00:38:05,386
♪ Mamacita ♪
615
00:38:05,420 --> 00:38:07,387
- ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
- ♪ Mamacita. ♪
616
00:38:48,945 --> 00:38:51,147
Ah, God.
617
00:38:51,181 --> 00:38:52,982
Whew.
618
00:38:54,015 --> 00:38:56,917
Whew. Whew.
619
00:38:56,950 --> 00:38:59,018
This is Candy Cane checking in.
620
00:38:59,051 --> 00:39:00,752
Compound is clear and secured.
621
00:39:02,921 --> 00:39:04,955
Copy. What's the
status on the Kill Squad?
622
00:39:06,689 --> 00:39:08,624
Kill Squad
won't be here for two hours.
623
00:39:08,657 --> 00:39:11,158
So we're doing good. The outer
seal's already been breached.
624
00:39:11,192 --> 00:39:13,894
Is there a 911 thing on here?
625
00:39:13,927 --> 00:39:16,461
My...
626
00:39:16,494 --> 00:39:18,630
Am I doing that correct?
627
00:39:18,663 --> 00:39:19,897
Hello?
628
00:39:19,930 --> 00:39:21,665
Hello, can anybody hear me?
629
00:39:21,698 --> 00:39:24,133
Can you hear me, Santa?
630
00:39:24,166 --> 00:39:26,034
♪ ♪
631
00:39:26,067 --> 00:39:27,601
Hello?
632
00:39:27,635 --> 00:39:28,936
Santa?
633
00:39:32,037 --> 00:39:33,872
Yeah, this is Santa.
634
00:39:36,673 --> 00:39:39,407
I hope I'm not bothering you.
635
00:39:40,709 --> 00:39:43,610
Daddy said you were
very busy tonight.
636
00:39:45,212 --> 00:39:47,079
I'm...
637
00:39:47,113 --> 00:39:49,480
I'm on a break.
638
00:39:49,513 --> 00:39:51,682
Who-who am I speaking to?
639
00:39:54,017 --> 00:39:55,851
My name is Trudy Lightstone,
640
00:39:55,884 --> 00:39:59,452
and I've been very good
this year.
641
00:39:59,486 --> 00:40:01,187
Trudy...
642
00:40:03,589 --> 00:40:05,690
Trudy Lightstone.
643
00:40:14,562 --> 00:40:16,864
Yeah, Trudy.
644
00:40:16,897 --> 00:40:19,132
You're on my nice list.
645
00:40:19,165 --> 00:40:21,667
You've been a very good girl
this year.
646
00:40:23,100 --> 00:40:25,467
Where are you now, Trudy?
647
00:40:26,635 --> 00:40:29,469
I'm in a big room
with all my relatives.
648
00:40:29,503 --> 00:40:32,839
There's two bad men with guns
watching us.
649
00:40:35,274 --> 00:40:37,208
Oh, no. Six left.
650
00:40:37,242 --> 00:40:39,543
Are you gonna help us, Santa?
651
00:40:40,644 --> 00:40:42,578
Yeah. Of course
I'm gonna help you.
652
00:40:42,612 --> 00:40:45,546
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get you out of there.
653
00:40:45,579 --> 00:40:48,882
Take all these bad guys
on my naughty list...
654
00:40:49,749 --> 00:40:52,117
I'm gonna take a lump of coal,
655
00:40:52,151 --> 00:40:56,086
each and every one of them,
and shove it straight up...
656
00:40:56,119 --> 00:40:57,586
The ass.
657
00:41:00,255 --> 00:41:01,856
Well, I mean, come on, sweetie.
658
00:41:01,890 --> 00:41:04,857
We want to keep you
on the nice list, you know.
659
00:41:06,192 --> 00:41:08,794
Sorry.
Can I say "butthole," then?
660
00:41:09,627 --> 00:41:10,995
I mean, it's borderline.
661
00:41:11,028 --> 00:41:12,696
How about "anus"?
662
00:41:12,729 --> 00:41:17,098
Technically, yes,
uh, "anus" is the tech...
663
00:41:17,131 --> 00:41:18,800
Okay, look, uh, Tru...
uh, Trudy.
664
00:41:18,833 --> 00:41:21,600
I got to call for help,
and the phone lines are down.
665
00:41:21,634 --> 00:41:24,169
You probably know this house
better than anybody.
666
00:41:24,202 --> 00:41:26,070
You got any suggestions?
667
00:41:26,103 --> 00:41:27,838
I have an idea.
668
00:41:30,039 --> 00:41:32,641
All right, you're telling me
there's a goddamn Santa Claus
669
00:41:32,674 --> 00:41:34,642
running around here?
670
00:41:37,777 --> 00:41:39,912
Okay, well,
he looks jolly as fuck,
671
00:41:39,945 --> 00:41:41,579
but who the hell is he?
672
00:41:41,612 --> 00:41:43,547
There's no Santa listed
on the employee manifest.
673
00:41:43,580 --> 00:41:44,848
Yeah, there's more.
674
00:41:44,881 --> 00:41:46,582
Frosty hasn't checked in.
I can't reach him.
675
00:41:46,615 --> 00:41:48,717
All right, keep trying.
676
00:41:48,750 --> 00:41:51,118
♪ ♪
677
00:41:51,151 --> 00:41:52,719
All right, it's official.
678
00:41:52,752 --> 00:41:54,853
We got a gopher on the loose,
and he's dangerous.
679
00:41:54,886 --> 00:41:55,988
Watch your backs.
680
00:41:56,021 --> 00:41:58,089
♪ ♪
681
00:42:01,024 --> 00:42:03,826
Al? Al?
682
00:42:09,962 --> 00:42:11,896
Oh, shit.
683
00:42:19,768 --> 00:42:21,135
Oh, shit!
684
00:42:21,168 --> 00:42:24,637
Frosty, what's your status?
685
00:42:28,006 --> 00:42:30,041
Frosty, sound off.
686
00:42:31,041 --> 00:42:33,943
Uh, Frosty?
687
00:42:35,176 --> 00:42:36,711
Is-is that, uh...
688
00:42:36,745 --> 00:42:38,645
is that the naughty guy
I met in the basement?
689
00:42:38,679 --> 00:42:40,179
Your-your friend is dead.
690
00:42:40,213 --> 00:42:43,615
Uh, he got a star in his face,
then his head caught on fire.
691
00:42:43,648 --> 00:42:45,683
It's a long story.
692
00:42:45,716 --> 00:42:48,251
Oh.
693
00:42:48,284 --> 00:42:50,552
Is this... is this our Santy?
694
00:42:50,586 --> 00:42:53,287
Is this our... our Santy Claus?
695
00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:54,988
Yeah, it is.
696
00:42:55,956 --> 00:42:57,690
To whom am I speaking?
697
00:42:57,723 --> 00:42:59,724
Well, for tonight,
I'm Mr. Scrooge.
698
00:42:59,758 --> 00:43:03,627
Now, what is it
that you want exactly, Santa?
699
00:43:03,660 --> 00:43:06,161
I want you to put down
your weapons,
700
00:43:06,194 --> 00:43:09,163
I want you to let
this family go,
701
00:43:09,196 --> 00:43:10,930
and then I want to find
my reindeer,
702
00:43:10,964 --> 00:43:13,565
and I want to continue
delivering my presents.
703
00:43:16,167 --> 00:43:17,735
Are you fucking with me?
704
00:43:17,769 --> 00:43:19,970
All right, who the hell
are you really, huh?
705
00:43:20,003 --> 00:43:22,671
Some security guard who's
watched too many action flicks?
706
00:43:22,705 --> 00:43:25,040
Some loser ex-cop
stuck in a mall
707
00:43:25,073 --> 00:43:27,241
playing dress-up with fat kids
pissing on your lap?
708
00:43:27,274 --> 00:43:28,808
Stop me when I get it right.
709
00:43:28,841 --> 00:43:31,043
It's a little more complicated
than that.
710
00:43:31,076 --> 00:43:32,710
Not to me, it's not.
711
00:43:32,743 --> 00:43:34,744
'Cause I want to make it
my personal mission,
712
00:43:34,778 --> 00:43:38,981
my holiday to-do list,
to find you and to end you
713
00:43:39,014 --> 00:43:42,716
and to wipe my ass with you
and this whole fucking holiday.
714
00:43:42,749 --> 00:43:45,317
That's what I want
for Christmas, Santa.
715
00:43:45,351 --> 00:43:49,653
That is a terrible thing
to want for Christmas.
716
00:43:49,686 --> 00:43:53,122
But maybe you and I should
discuss that in person.
717
00:43:54,356 --> 00:43:57,091
Santa Claus is coming to town.
718
00:44:08,364 --> 00:44:09,965
Shit.
719
00:44:19,838 --> 00:44:21,072
All right, who did you hire
720
00:44:21,105 --> 00:44:23,773
to play Santa at
your Christmas party, huh?
721
00:44:23,807 --> 00:44:25,808
I said, who's playing Santa
722
00:44:25,841 --> 00:44:27,341
at your fucked-up
Christmas party?
723
00:44:27,375 --> 00:44:30,277
I didn't hire a Santa.
724
00:44:30,310 --> 00:44:33,112
I never have a Santa.
It's tacky.
725
00:44:33,145 --> 00:44:34,345
So, who is he?
726
00:44:34,379 --> 00:44:37,247
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride... ♪
727
00:44:37,281 --> 00:44:40,149
Huh? Who is he?
728
00:44:40,183 --> 00:44:41,817
Somebody better start talking,
729
00:44:41,850 --> 00:44:44,852
or I'm gonna bash
her brains in with this...
730
00:44:44,885 --> 00:44:49,588
Damn, Gertrude. You really got
a thing for nutcrackers, huh?
731
00:44:50,722 --> 00:44:54,724
So, I'm gonna torture
everyone in your family
732
00:44:54,758 --> 00:44:57,660
until you tell me who's
running around your mansion
733
00:44:57,693 --> 00:45:00,228
playing Santa
and fucking with my shit.
734
00:45:00,261 --> 00:45:02,229
And who should I pick first?
735
00:45:02,262 --> 00:45:03,763
Should I go by age?
736
00:45:03,796 --> 00:45:05,330
Shh.
737
00:45:05,363 --> 00:45:07,032
Or should I go by IQ?
738
00:45:07,065 --> 00:45:10,633
Pick Jason.
He's my mom's favorite.
739
00:45:10,667 --> 00:45:12,634
- Yep. Him.
- The one in the sweater.
740
00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:15,103
All right.
Jason Lightstone it is.
741
00:45:15,136 --> 00:45:16,304
- The number one son.
- No.
742
00:45:16,337 --> 00:45:17,771
Wait, wait, wait.
No, we don't need...
743
00:45:17,804 --> 00:45:19,106
We don't need to do that.
No, it's okay.
744
00:45:19,139 --> 00:45:21,240
No. No, no, no.
We don't need to do this.
745
00:45:21,273 --> 00:45:22,408
No. No, no, no, no.
746
00:45:22,441 --> 00:45:24,008
Don't, don't, don't.
747
00:45:24,042 --> 00:45:26,376
- No, don't... Put it...
- Don't... No. -
748
00:45:26,411 --> 00:45:28,377
- No, no, no, no. No, no.
- Give me this fucking...
749
00:45:37,417 --> 00:45:40,151
I'm telling you,
no one hired a Santa.
750
00:45:40,184 --> 00:45:41,852
All right, all right,
all right. You're right.
751
00:45:41,885 --> 00:45:42,919
You're right.
Let's stop it. Let's stop it.
752
00:45:42,953 --> 00:45:45,020
What are we doing here? Come on.
753
00:45:45,054 --> 00:45:48,055
What are we, amateurs?
We're half-assing this.
754
00:45:48,088 --> 00:45:51,224
Come on. It's not called
a finger cracker.
755
00:45:52,392 --> 00:45:54,292
Okay, Candy Cane.
756
00:45:54,326 --> 00:45:55,793
Stick one of his bozaks
in there.
757
00:45:55,826 --> 00:45:56,994
I'm not touching his balls.
758
00:45:57,027 --> 00:45:58,728
What, are you a princess
all of a sudden?
759
00:45:58,761 --> 00:46:00,396
I've seen you
scoop out brains before.
760
00:46:00,430 --> 00:46:01,797
You want me
to scoop his brains out,
761
00:46:01,830 --> 00:46:03,264
I'll scoop his brains out
right now,
762
00:46:03,297 --> 00:46:04,399
but I'm not touching his junk.
763
00:46:04,433 --> 00:46:05,899
I don't care who does it.
764
00:46:05,932 --> 00:46:07,400
I better be looking
at flat balls,
765
00:46:07,434 --> 00:46:08,934
like, in three seconds.
766
00:46:08,968 --> 00:46:11,269
I'll do it.
767
00:46:11,302 --> 00:46:12,703
Krampus. Perfect.
768
00:46:12,736 --> 00:46:14,004
Oh, not that guy. Not that guy.
769
00:46:14,037 --> 00:46:15,405
That's what I love
about sociopaths.
770
00:46:15,439 --> 00:46:16,805
Always up for trying new things.
771
00:46:16,838 --> 00:46:18,073
You don't need to do this, okay?
772
00:46:18,106 --> 00:46:20,040
No, it's all right.
Um... Oh, no.
773
00:46:20,074 --> 00:46:22,675
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
774
00:46:22,709 --> 00:46:25,110
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
775
00:46:26,777 --> 00:46:28,212
Put your nuts in.
776
00:46:28,246 --> 00:46:29,746
Yummy, yummy.
777
00:46:29,779 --> 00:46:32,348
Stop hurting my daddy...
778
00:46:32,382 --> 00:46:34,916
or Santa will get mad.
779
00:46:35,782 --> 00:46:37,918
Ah, what a cutie.
780
00:46:37,951 --> 00:46:39,952
So, what do we know
about Santa, little one?
781
00:46:39,986 --> 00:46:41,920
She doesn't know anything
about Santa.
782
00:46:42,820 --> 00:46:44,389
He wasn't asking you.
783
00:46:44,422 --> 00:46:46,956
She's playing make-believe.
784
00:46:46,990 --> 00:46:49,291
She's pretending
to talk to Santa.
785
00:46:49,324 --> 00:46:51,292
It's not pretend.
Santa's my friend,
786
00:46:51,325 --> 00:46:53,059
and he said
he's going to save us.
787
00:46:53,093 --> 00:46:54,294
No.
788
00:46:54,327 --> 00:46:56,328
- And beat you up.
- Oh, is he?
789
00:46:56,363 --> 00:46:59,164
I bet he'd come out of hiding
if you asked him to, huh?
790
00:46:59,197 --> 00:47:00,797
What do you say you come with me
791
00:47:00,831 --> 00:47:02,832
-and we play a little game
with him, huh? -No, no, no.
792
00:47:02,865 --> 00:47:04,167
Trudy, come on.
Tell him the truth now.
793
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,034
- You aren't talking to Santa.
- Yes, I am.
794
00:47:06,067 --> 00:47:07,435
No, you're not. Come on, now.
795
00:47:07,469 --> 00:47:10,136
-Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy,
Santa isn't real!
796
00:47:15,507 --> 00:47:18,342
♪ ♪
797
00:47:18,376 --> 00:47:20,209
I'm sorry, honey.
798
00:47:21,142 --> 00:47:23,310
Santa's just a thing
adults tell kids
799
00:47:23,344 --> 00:47:25,711
to make them feel better, okay?
800
00:47:27,481 --> 00:47:29,748
Your mommy and I
give you the presents,
801
00:47:29,781 --> 00:47:31,782
and we say they're from Santa.
802
00:47:32,949 --> 00:47:34,351
He's not coming to save us.
803
00:47:34,385 --> 00:47:36,752
He doesn't exist.
804
00:47:36,785 --> 00:47:39,120
It's all made-up.
805
00:47:40,521 --> 00:47:42,489
- Really?
- Aw.
806
00:47:42,522 --> 00:47:45,190
What a way to find out
that there's no Santa.
807
00:47:45,223 --> 00:47:47,392
Hey, let's come back Easter
and ruin the Easter Bunny
808
00:47:47,425 --> 00:47:49,360
for her, too, huh?
809
00:47:49,394 --> 00:47:50,927
- Trudy!
- Come back here!
810
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:52,260
- Stop her!
- Trudy! -Hey!
811
00:47:52,294 --> 00:47:54,062
You idiots, stay at your posts.
812
00:47:54,095 --> 00:47:55,229
Trudy!
813
00:47:55,262 --> 00:47:57,764
I'll find this little brat.
814
00:48:06,235 --> 00:48:08,270
♪ ♪
815
00:49:04,002 --> 00:49:05,170
Okay.
816
00:49:33,820 --> 00:49:36,787
Santa. Santa.
817
00:49:36,821 --> 00:49:38,523
Santa!
818
00:49:40,257 --> 00:49:42,157
This is Trudy.
819
00:49:43,092 --> 00:49:46,160
Are you okay, Santa?
820
00:49:48,228 --> 00:49:49,496
Hi. Hey.
821
00:49:49,529 --> 00:49:51,397
Are you okay?
822
00:49:51,430 --> 00:49:53,398
I'm good. Uh...
823
00:49:53,431 --> 00:49:55,798
I was just wrapping
something up.
824
00:49:55,832 --> 00:49:57,934
I ran away and hid in the attic.
825
00:49:57,967 --> 00:50:01,135
Okay. If you're safe...
826
00:50:01,168 --> 00:50:04,137
uh, just stay there
and, uh, stay quiet, all right?
827
00:50:04,170 --> 00:50:09,007
Okay. I can set up booby traps,
like in Home Alone.
828
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,541
Okay, I don't know
what that means,
829
00:50:10,575 --> 00:50:12,277
but, uh, yeah, do that.
830
00:50:12,310 --> 00:50:14,278
Just do it quietly.
831
00:50:15,544 --> 00:50:17,512
Are you really Santa?
832
00:50:21,415 --> 00:50:23,815
Of course I am, sweetheart.
833
00:50:24,549 --> 00:50:27,250
My daddy says
there isn't any Santa.
834
00:50:28,918 --> 00:50:31,919
He says parents just tell
their kids that Santa's real
835
00:50:31,953 --> 00:50:33,455
to make them feel better.
836
00:50:33,489 --> 00:50:36,390
He said they give us presents
837
00:50:36,423 --> 00:50:38,990
and say they're from Santa.
838
00:50:39,024 --> 00:50:40,925
Yeah.
839
00:50:40,958 --> 00:50:43,093
Yeah, a lot of parents say that.
840
00:50:43,127 --> 00:50:47,195
But I still bring presents
to kids that need me.
841
00:50:48,430 --> 00:50:50,864
Kids who really believe.
842
00:50:52,032 --> 00:50:55,100
How do you know
who really needs you?
843
00:50:55,134 --> 00:50:57,101
Christmas magic.
844
00:50:57,135 --> 00:50:59,370
I'm not really sure
how it works.
845
00:51:07,206 --> 00:51:09,443
But, uh...
846
00:51:11,611 --> 00:51:14,844
I remember, um...
847
00:51:14,878 --> 00:51:16,580
when Trudy Lightstone
wrote to me.
848
00:51:16,614 --> 00:51:19,113
She must have been
about six years old,
849
00:51:19,147 --> 00:51:22,983
and she said that
she felt lonely sometimes.
850
00:51:23,016 --> 00:51:25,319
She missed having a best friend.
851
00:51:25,352 --> 00:51:26,585
And so I brought her
852
00:51:26,619 --> 00:51:28,487
a beautiful little
stuffed rabbit.
853
00:51:28,521 --> 00:51:29,987
Mr. Bunny.
854
00:51:30,020 --> 00:51:31,988
And then I remember
the next year,
855
00:51:32,021 --> 00:51:34,056
and you said you had
this amazing dream
856
00:51:34,089 --> 00:51:38,092
and that, afterwards,
all you wanted to do was...
857
00:51:38,124 --> 00:51:39,460
To fly!
858
00:51:39,493 --> 00:51:41,894
To fly. To fly.
859
00:51:43,094 --> 00:51:47,432
I mean, Santa might have
some magic, but...
860
00:51:47,465 --> 00:51:51,233
making a little girl fly?
861
00:51:53,368 --> 00:51:57,537
But giving you a kite,
862
00:51:57,570 --> 00:52:00,971
floating just beneath
the clouds,
863
00:52:01,005 --> 00:52:03,607
well, it's about
as good as it gets.
864
00:52:03,641 --> 00:52:05,542
I knew it.
865
00:52:05,575 --> 00:52:08,076
I knew you were real, Santa.
866
00:52:10,645 --> 00:52:13,845
Don't be too hard
on your parents, all right?
867
00:52:15,414 --> 00:52:18,316
Grown-ups have a hard time
believing things.
868
00:52:19,148 --> 00:52:21,517
Can you use your Christmas magic
869
00:52:21,551 --> 00:52:23,884
to make them
love each other again?
870
00:52:23,918 --> 00:52:26,253
I wish I had that kind of power.
871
00:52:27,221 --> 00:52:30,888
Mrs. Claus and I have been
going on year, uh,
872
00:52:30,922 --> 00:52:33,190
1,100, and...
873
00:52:34,124 --> 00:52:36,959
Grown-up relationships
are complicated.
874
00:52:37,627 --> 00:52:39,961
It takes work.
875
00:52:39,994 --> 00:52:42,096
A lot of work.
876
00:52:44,331 --> 00:52:46,466
Do you still love her?
877
00:52:46,499 --> 00:52:48,367
Yeah, I do.
878
00:52:49,434 --> 00:52:53,001
And sometimes, even if you want
to make somebody happy...
879
00:52:54,136 --> 00:52:56,405
the magic just goes away.
880
00:52:58,439 --> 00:53:00,640
Hey.
881
00:53:00,674 --> 00:53:02,508
I've got an idea.
882
00:53:02,541 --> 00:53:04,242
This will be fun.
883
00:53:05,276 --> 00:53:08,412
Why don't you guys
open your presents?
884
00:53:08,445 --> 00:53:13,013
I want to see what you
rich assholes get each other.
885
00:53:13,047 --> 00:53:18,650
And some of you might not
make it till tomorrow morning,
886
00:53:18,684 --> 00:53:21,885
so this could be
your only chance.
887
00:53:22,553 --> 00:53:24,053
Come on.
888
00:53:24,086 --> 00:53:26,921
Where's the Christmas spirit?
889
00:53:28,356 --> 00:53:30,391
Uh...
890
00:53:31,425 --> 00:53:35,594
Gertrude, uh, I got you
something pretty special.
891
00:53:35,627 --> 00:53:37,061
Did you hear that, Gertrude?
892
00:53:37,094 --> 00:53:39,028
He got you something amazing.
893
00:53:39,062 --> 00:53:42,029
Oh, what could it be?
894
00:53:42,063 --> 00:53:44,333
Oh, my God, this is exciting.
895
00:53:44,365 --> 00:53:46,501
Mom.
896
00:53:46,534 --> 00:53:48,301
Can I call you Mom?
897
00:53:49,435 --> 00:53:51,169
Mrs. Lightstone.
898
00:53:53,003 --> 00:53:56,339
Okay, so in the business,
they call this...
899
00:53:57,340 --> 00:53:58,906
a pitch deck.
900
00:53:59,608 --> 00:54:00,675
- Pitch deck.
- Yeah.
901
00:54:00,709 --> 00:54:02,510
It's called Explosive Force.
902
00:54:02,543 --> 00:54:04,143
Starring me.
903
00:54:04,177 --> 00:54:05,712
And if you look in the back,
904
00:54:05,745 --> 00:54:09,447
there are the financial numbers.
905
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:12,981
I'm kind of a big deal in Asia.
906
00:54:14,183 --> 00:54:16,284
Parts of Asia, at least.
907
00:54:16,317 --> 00:54:18,318
We were in parts of Asia once,
and, like,
908
00:54:18,352 --> 00:54:20,118
we couldn't even go
to a restaurant.
909
00:54:20,152 --> 00:54:23,555
Ah, what is there
a better gift than...
910
00:54:23,588 --> 00:54:27,056
gift of a golden opportunity?
911
00:54:28,324 --> 00:54:30,492
Oh, no.
912
00:54:31,693 --> 00:54:34,228
Granny doesn't like it.
913
00:54:34,262 --> 00:54:36,995
Mother, I got you something
really special.
914
00:54:43,167 --> 00:54:45,668
It's a sentimental photo
of the day I was born.
915
00:54:45,701 --> 00:54:47,736
I remember.
916
00:54:47,769 --> 00:54:49,203
I was there.
917
00:54:49,236 --> 00:54:51,404
She doesn't give a shit.
918
00:54:54,038 --> 00:54:55,541
Swing and miss again!
919
00:54:55,574 --> 00:54:57,007
This is so fun.
920
00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:58,175
Mommy, how about another one?
921
00:54:58,208 --> 00:54:59,709
I got you a lot of good things.
922
00:54:59,743 --> 00:55:01,744
- I'll grab one.
- Alva, Alva, sit down.
923
00:55:01,777 --> 00:55:03,578
You've already given me one.
It's...
924
00:55:03,611 --> 00:55:04,746
It's Jason's turn.
925
00:55:04,779 --> 00:55:06,313
Uh...
926
00:55:06,346 --> 00:55:10,048
I th... I-I think
I left it in the car.
927
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:12,049
No, I-I saw you put one
under the tree earlier.
928
00:55:12,082 --> 00:55:14,351
- No. It's in the...
- Yeah, I did.
929
00:55:14,385 --> 00:55:17,453
I could've sworn.
You know what, it's, uh...
930
00:55:17,486 --> 00:55:19,488
Y-You don't... you don't...
you don't... you...
931
00:55:19,521 --> 00:55:22,222
It's this one, right?
Yeah, I got you, bro.
932
00:55:22,255 --> 00:55:23,590
Come on.
933
00:55:25,391 --> 00:55:27,459
Thank you.
934
00:55:28,493 --> 00:55:30,594
It's my favorite whiskey.
935
00:55:30,627 --> 00:55:33,396
You can skip the note.
936
00:55:41,233 --> 00:55:43,302
♪ ♪
937
00:55:56,676 --> 00:55:58,477
Thank you, Jason.
938
00:56:03,813 --> 00:56:06,215
What's the card say?
939
00:56:06,248 --> 00:56:09,116
I think I'll just keep that
between Jason and I.
940
00:56:09,150 --> 00:56:13,285
No one really needs to know.
Right, Jason?
941
00:56:15,653 --> 00:56:17,421
Right.
942
00:56:18,455 --> 00:56:20,656
Did you ever have
a mommy and daddy?
943
00:56:22,524 --> 00:56:24,492
Yeah, of course
I had a mommy and daddy.
944
00:56:24,525 --> 00:56:28,294
I wasn't...
I wasn't always Santa Claus.
945
00:56:29,161 --> 00:56:31,395
I had a life before this.
946
00:56:32,330 --> 00:56:35,131
A long, long, long time ago.
947
00:56:39,267 --> 00:56:42,336
They used to call me, uh...
948
00:56:42,369 --> 00:56:44,403
Nicomund.
949
00:56:48,071 --> 00:56:49,573
Nicomund the Red.
950
00:56:51,241 --> 00:56:53,809
You had a different job then?
951
00:56:53,842 --> 00:56:56,644
Yeah, you could say that.
952
00:56:56,677 --> 00:56:58,512
I was a warrior.
953
00:56:58,545 --> 00:57:00,579
A raider. A thief.
954
00:57:00,613 --> 00:57:04,581
And if somebody got in my way,
955
00:57:04,615 --> 00:57:06,216
me and Skullcrusher would...
956
00:57:06,250 --> 00:57:08,016
Who's Skullcrusher?
957
00:57:08,684 --> 00:57:11,719
Skullcrusher's my, uh...
958
00:57:11,752 --> 00:57:14,521
my hammer.
959
00:57:14,554 --> 00:57:16,755
My favorite hammer.
960
00:57:16,788 --> 00:57:19,190
I was a surgeon with that thing.
961
00:57:19,223 --> 00:57:21,558
Used to be able to take
three heads, line 'em up...
962
00:57:23,293 --> 00:57:25,694
But why?
963
00:57:25,728 --> 00:57:27,262
What?
964
00:57:27,295 --> 00:57:30,029
Why'd you do those things?
965
00:57:31,764 --> 00:57:34,064
Because I was mean.
966
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:37,301
And I was greedy.
967
00:57:39,168 --> 00:57:42,137
And I wanted gold, jewels.
968
00:57:42,170 --> 00:57:44,539
Yeah, I mean, if there was
a naughty list back then,
969
00:57:44,572 --> 00:57:46,573
I'd be top dog.
970
00:57:48,374 --> 00:57:50,341
Well, maybe...
971
00:57:51,309 --> 00:57:52,242
What?
972
00:57:52,276 --> 00:57:54,610
Maybe all those bad things
you used to do...
973
00:57:55,711 --> 00:57:59,114
maybe you can use them
to do good things instead.
974
00:57:59,747 --> 00:58:02,148
To help.
975
00:58:02,181 --> 00:58:04,082
What do you mean?
976
00:58:04,116 --> 00:58:08,352
Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy.
977
00:58:08,386 --> 00:58:11,720
That night, you gave me
what I wished for.
978
00:58:11,754 --> 00:58:13,655
A best friend.
979
00:58:14,689 --> 00:58:17,324
'Cause you're good and kind.
980
00:58:17,357 --> 00:58:20,792
And you mean more than just
the presents you bring.
981
00:58:20,825 --> 00:58:23,561
That's why I believe in you,
Santa.
982
00:58:23,594 --> 00:58:26,129
That's why I believe.
983
00:58:31,566 --> 00:58:33,333
Thank you.
984
00:58:35,167 --> 00:58:39,103
You stay hidden, Trudy,
till I come get you.
985
00:58:39,137 --> 00:58:41,204
Stay safe.
986
00:58:42,305 --> 00:58:44,773
All right,
we got satellite confirmation.
987
00:58:44,806 --> 00:58:46,874
Extraction team's on the go.
988
00:58:46,907 --> 00:58:49,442
30 minutes.
989
00:58:49,475 --> 00:58:50,810
We're on schedule.
990
00:58:50,843 --> 00:58:52,344
Everything's good.
991
00:58:52,377 --> 00:58:53,845
All right, fellas.
992
00:58:53,879 --> 00:58:55,513
Look alive, look alive.
993
00:58:55,546 --> 00:58:57,314
You all know the plan,
994
00:58:57,347 --> 00:59:00,749
and I like my operations
like I like to fuck:
995
00:59:00,783 --> 00:59:03,418
hard and fast
with minimal cleanup.
996
00:59:03,451 --> 00:59:07,853
Now, some idiot gets
in your way, what do you do?
997
00:59:07,887 --> 00:59:10,121
Fuck their shit up right!
998
00:59:10,155 --> 00:59:11,689
Damn right.
999
00:59:12,556 --> 00:59:15,325
Time to lube up.
1000
00:59:16,425 --> 00:59:19,193
Let's go, motherfuckers!
Let's go!
1001
00:59:24,897 --> 00:59:27,331
This fucking family.
1002
00:59:46,508 --> 00:59:48,711
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
1003
00:59:48,743 --> 00:59:50,545
Merry Christmas.
1004
00:59:50,578 --> 00:59:51,745
Happy holidays.
1005
00:59:51,778 --> 00:59:52,846
Traitor.
1006
00:59:54,447 --> 00:59:56,414
I got him in the east wing.
1007
00:59:56,448 --> 00:59:58,749
All right,
we're on our way. Hold him.
1008
01:00:12,257 --> 01:00:14,258
Step aside.
1009
01:00:23,430 --> 01:00:25,498
♪ ♪
1010
01:00:27,666 --> 01:00:30,434
Now, how did this tired, old,
1011
01:00:30,468 --> 01:00:33,169
fat piece of shit
get the drop on us?
1012
01:00:33,203 --> 01:00:34,536
I don't know.
1013
01:00:34,570 --> 01:00:36,537
He's not even armed.
1014
01:00:36,571 --> 01:00:38,905
This bag is the only thing
he had on him.
1015
01:00:38,939 --> 01:00:40,474
What's in there?
1016
01:00:41,273 --> 01:00:43,309
Can't see anything.
1017
01:00:47,344 --> 01:00:48,745
Here, give it to me.
1018
01:00:59,818 --> 01:01:02,387
What kind of moron...
1019
01:01:02,420 --> 01:01:04,621
carries a chess set with him?
1020
01:01:08,490 --> 01:01:09,491
What the fuck?
1021
01:01:09,524 --> 01:01:12,325
Doesn't make any sense.
Look at all this shit.
1022
01:01:19,529 --> 01:01:22,531
So, you're gonna tell us what's
the gimmick with the bag?
1023
01:01:22,564 --> 01:01:24,232
It's magic.
1024
01:01:24,265 --> 01:01:27,234
You put your hand in,
out comes a present.
1025
01:01:28,669 --> 01:01:31,503
I don't really understand
how it works, either.
1026
01:01:32,804 --> 01:01:35,806
So, you're Mr. Scrooge.
1027
01:01:35,839 --> 01:01:37,807
That's right.
1028
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:39,641
But who are you?
1029
01:01:39,675 --> 01:01:41,709
Weihnachtsmann.
1030
01:01:43,011 --> 01:01:45,178
Julenissen.
1031
01:01:45,844 --> 01:01:47,780
Shèngdàn Laorén.
1032
01:01:48,713 --> 01:01:51,815
Babbo Natale, Père Noel,
Kris Kringle.
1033
01:01:51,848 --> 01:01:54,417
Jolly old Saint Nick.
1034
01:01:54,450 --> 01:01:57,484
People call me a lot of things.
1035
01:01:58,352 --> 01:02:00,820
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
1036
01:02:00,853 --> 01:02:03,288
Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"?
1037
01:02:03,321 --> 01:02:06,791
If you're Santa,
where's your reindeer?
1038
01:02:06,824 --> 01:02:08,625
They were on the roof
1039
01:02:08,658 --> 01:02:11,326
until that guy I turned
into an ice kebab just...
1040
01:02:13,861 --> 01:02:15,529
You don't believe me?
1041
01:02:15,562 --> 01:02:16,629
Go check.
1042
01:02:16,662 --> 01:02:19,464
Prancer left
a tasty log up there.
1043
01:02:19,497 --> 01:02:21,298
This fucking guy.
1044
01:02:21,331 --> 01:02:22,866
You don't think...
1045
01:02:22,900 --> 01:02:26,234
Now, I know you're an idiot,
but don't be an idiot out loud.
1046
01:02:26,268 --> 01:02:28,270
Come on,
he's just in Santy Claus
1047
01:02:28,303 --> 01:02:30,271
with a fucking trick bag.
1048
01:02:30,304 --> 01:02:32,305
Oh, no!
1049
01:02:32,338 --> 01:02:33,939
That bag was full
of kids' dreams!
1050
01:02:33,973 --> 01:02:35,773
Oh, come on.
1051
01:02:35,807 --> 01:02:38,408
Everybody knows that
Christmas dreams are bullshit.
1052
01:02:39,309 --> 01:02:41,577
My father used to make
a big deal out of it
1053
01:02:41,610 --> 01:02:43,411
every Christmas.
1054
01:02:43,445 --> 01:02:45,512
Every freaking Christmas
with the presents
1055
01:02:45,546 --> 01:02:47,714
and the candy
and the decorations
1056
01:02:47,747 --> 01:02:51,583
and the Christmas caroling
and all that bullshit.
1057
01:02:52,883 --> 01:02:55,251
And then when I was...
1058
01:02:55,285 --> 01:02:58,587
I don't know, ten, 11,
1059
01:02:58,620 --> 01:03:00,722
he got laid off,
and that Christmas,
1060
01:03:00,755 --> 01:03:01,956
couldn't even afford a tree.
1061
01:03:01,989 --> 01:03:03,757
No Christmas dinner, no gifts.
1062
01:03:03,790 --> 01:03:06,358
Nothing, nada, culo, dick.
1063
01:03:06,959 --> 01:03:08,460
But our neighbors...
1064
01:03:08,493 --> 01:03:10,327
our neighbors,
oh, they had it all.
1065
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:11,995
I could see
all that yuletide cheer
1066
01:03:12,029 --> 01:03:14,596
through their window mocking me.
1067
01:03:14,629 --> 01:03:18,531
So Christmas Eve
rolls around, and...
1068
01:03:18,565 --> 01:03:21,600
I waited for everybody
to go to bed.
1069
01:03:21,633 --> 01:03:25,236
And then I snuck in there
to take it all.
1070
01:03:26,369 --> 01:03:28,471
Only problem was that
the gramps got up to take a piss
1071
01:03:28,504 --> 01:03:30,872
and the two of us scared
the shit out of each other.
1072
01:03:30,905 --> 01:03:33,874
And, um, he fell down the stairs
1073
01:03:33,907 --> 01:03:38,477
and-and broke his neck,
and he died in the hospital.
1074
01:03:38,510 --> 01:03:40,011
Everybody thought that I did it,
1075
01:03:40,045 --> 01:03:41,746
and every time
I tried to tell them,
1076
01:03:41,779 --> 01:03:44,247
I tried to tell them that...
1077
01:03:45,781 --> 01:03:47,882
Anyway, maybe I did do it.
1078
01:03:47,915 --> 01:03:49,916
Maybe I did push him.
1079
01:03:49,951 --> 01:03:51,884
Poor old fucker.
1080
01:03:51,917 --> 01:03:55,320
So, you see,
Christmas ruined my life.
1081
01:03:55,353 --> 01:03:56,887
Okay? But you know what?
1082
01:03:56,921 --> 01:03:58,355
It set me on the path
1083
01:03:58,388 --> 01:04:00,389
and made me the great man
that I am today.
1084
01:04:00,423 --> 01:04:02,457
I'm sorry, Jimmy.
1085
01:04:03,092 --> 01:04:04,658
I really am.
1086
01:04:05,626 --> 01:04:07,560
But I do gifts.
I do Christmas cheer.
1087
01:04:07,594 --> 01:04:09,728
I don't get involved
in people's lives.
1088
01:04:09,762 --> 01:04:13,697
Oh, yeah? Yeah, well,
maybe you fucking should!
1089
01:04:18,067 --> 01:04:21,535
Um, how did he know your name?
1090
01:04:21,568 --> 01:04:22,970
Oh, Bjorn.
1091
01:04:23,003 --> 01:04:25,437
What's your excuse?
1092
01:04:25,470 --> 01:04:26,605
Huh?
1093
01:04:26,638 --> 01:04:30,007
Didn't I get you that Huffy bike
you wanted back in '82?
1094
01:04:30,040 --> 01:04:33,375
One you wrote me 50 times about!
1095
01:04:33,408 --> 01:04:34,776
What about you, Kira?
1096
01:04:34,809 --> 01:04:37,912
Well, you made your brother
eat worms.
1097
01:04:37,945 --> 01:04:39,512
That's naughty!
1098
01:04:39,545 --> 01:04:41,447
Okay, how does he know
about my bike?
1099
01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:44,949
It's a lucky guess, like:
"Hey, do you like big tits?"
1100
01:04:44,983 --> 01:04:46,917
Come on, every kid wants
a fucking bike.
1101
01:04:46,950 --> 01:04:50,019
-You're gonna tell me who you
work for... -Oh, Christ. No.
1102
01:04:50,052 --> 01:04:53,454
Then you've got five seconds
to tell me who you really are.
1103
01:04:53,487 --> 01:04:56,321
Five, four, three, two...
1104
01:04:56,355 --> 01:04:57,924
I'm Santa Claus!
1105
01:04:57,957 --> 01:05:00,391
Well, not anymore.
1106
01:05:01,959 --> 01:05:04,360
♪ ♪
1107
01:05:25,072 --> 01:05:27,073
Is it snowing?
1108
01:05:27,107 --> 01:05:30,508
Is he doing this
with Santa magic?
1109
01:05:36,913 --> 01:05:39,413
Let it snow!
1110
01:05:50,987 --> 01:05:52,923
It's not snow.
1111
01:05:52,956 --> 01:05:54,389
It's Styrofoam.
1112
01:05:54,422 --> 01:05:56,623
I told you this guy's
a big phony.
1113
01:06:10,999 --> 01:06:13,000
Where'd he go?
1114
01:06:13,034 --> 01:06:14,534
He went up the chimney.
1115
01:06:14,568 --> 01:06:16,102
- I saw it.
- I don't know,
1116
01:06:16,136 --> 01:06:18,103
he had a rig
or some pulley system
1117
01:06:18,137 --> 01:06:20,104
- that just yanked him up.
- You can't fit up there.
1118
01:06:20,138 --> 01:06:21,705
- It's impossible.
- Oh, you see one weird thing,
1119
01:06:21,737 --> 01:06:23,974
and then you think
you're in a fairy tale?
1120
01:06:24,007 --> 01:06:25,407
Incoming.
1121
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:26,142
We've got sleigh bells
approaching.
1122
01:06:26,175 --> 01:06:27,976
Oh, my God.
1123
01:06:28,009 --> 01:06:29,910
It's his reindeer.
1124
01:06:31,610 --> 01:06:33,579
It's the extraction team.
1125
01:06:33,612 --> 01:06:35,746
Pull yourselves together!
1126
01:06:41,150 --> 01:06:43,517
♪ ♪
1127
01:06:50,688 --> 01:06:54,925
And that is the sound
of my Kill Squad.
1128
01:06:56,525 --> 01:06:58,559
Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now.
1129
01:06:58,593 --> 01:07:00,727
Huh? What are you gonna do?
You little elf bitch.
1130
01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:02,063
Fu...
1131
01:07:02,096 --> 01:07:03,395
Bertie.
1132
01:07:03,429 --> 01:07:04,829
Hashtag "blessed."
1133
01:07:07,899 --> 01:07:10,600
Yeah!
1134
01:07:10,633 --> 01:07:11,733
Parkour.
1135
01:07:11,766 --> 01:07:12,734
Kill him, babe!
1136
01:07:12,767 --> 01:07:15,502
Oh!
1137
01:07:16,204 --> 01:07:17,905
Morgan's gonna save us.
1138
01:07:19,705 --> 01:07:23,507
Jean-Claude Van Dipshit
just ditched us, sweetie.
1139
01:07:30,511 --> 01:07:32,479
Hold your fire.
1140
01:07:32,512 --> 01:07:33,981
Barrel roll!
1141
01:07:35,780 --> 01:07:36,949
Easy, easy.
1142
01:07:36,983 --> 01:07:38,917
- Yeah!
- Easy.
1143
01:07:38,950 --> 01:07:40,118
Identify yourself.
1144
01:07:40,151 --> 01:07:42,784
I'm one of the hostages.
1145
01:07:42,818 --> 01:07:45,753
Morgan Steel, the actor.
1146
01:07:45,786 --> 01:07:48,722
Played a lot of soldiers
in my career.
1147
01:07:48,755 --> 01:07:52,457
Can I just say, thank you
for your service. Semper fi.
1148
01:07:53,125 --> 01:07:55,026
What's the situation inside?
1149
01:07:55,059 --> 01:07:57,526
Bunch of ex-military guys,
1150
01:07:57,560 --> 01:07:59,527
but I got to warn you,
they know you're coming.
1151
01:07:59,561 --> 01:08:01,063
I think they're ready for you.
1152
01:08:01,097 --> 01:08:02,964
They better be.
1153
01:08:02,998 --> 01:08:05,032
We're on a tight schedule.
1154
01:08:05,065 --> 01:08:06,933
Shit.
1155
01:08:10,202 --> 01:08:12,469
Oh, f...
1156
01:08:12,502 --> 01:08:15,738
- All right, let's move out.
- Let's move out.
1157
01:08:19,874 --> 01:08:21,540
Come on.
1158
01:08:21,574 --> 01:08:23,675
You got to be kidding me.
1159
01:08:23,708 --> 01:08:25,443
Hey, Thorp,
you're ten minutes late.
1160
01:08:25,477 --> 01:08:26,777
What kept you?
1161
01:08:26,811 --> 01:08:29,013
Looks to me like your net's
got a hole in it.
1162
01:08:29,046 --> 01:08:31,613
Or are you just letting your
hostages out for some exercise?
1163
01:08:31,647 --> 01:08:33,781
No, no, no. We got
a wild gopher running around
1164
01:08:33,815 --> 01:08:36,483
complicating shit
and causing problems.
1165
01:08:36,516 --> 01:08:37,918
Who? Lightstone security?
1166
01:08:37,951 --> 01:08:39,585
Nah, I don't think so.
Some intruder dressed as Santa.
1167
01:08:39,618 --> 01:08:41,086
But I'm telling you,
I'm telling you,
1168
01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:43,121
there's something weird
about him.
1169
01:08:43,154 --> 01:08:44,787
Might be the real Santa.
1170
01:08:44,821 --> 01:08:47,156
- The fuck did she just say?
- Nothing, nothing.
1171
01:08:47,189 --> 01:08:48,456
She's joking.
1172
01:08:48,490 --> 01:08:50,892
My squad will take care of it.
1173
01:08:53,193 --> 01:08:55,929
Beta Team, go find this asshole.
1174
01:08:55,962 --> 01:08:57,930
Go.
1175
01:08:57,963 --> 01:09:02,165
Now, let's unwrap our present,
shall we?
1176
01:09:02,198 --> 01:09:04,565
All right, you heard the man.
1177
01:09:04,599 --> 01:09:07,068
Time to kill Santa.
1178
01:09:07,101 --> 01:09:09,635
I've got him. He's on the roof.
1179
01:09:09,669 --> 01:09:11,938
Roger that. I got eyes on him.
1180
01:09:29,248 --> 01:09:31,215
Right, Sugarplum.
Hit that button.
1181
01:09:38,186 --> 01:09:40,087
Here we go.
1182
01:09:40,120 --> 01:09:41,587
Our skeleton key.
1183
01:09:41,621 --> 01:09:43,488
The "open" magic stick.
1184
01:09:43,522 --> 01:09:45,023
This better fucking work.
1185
01:09:45,057 --> 01:09:47,757
I'm flushing my career for this,
my reputation.
1186
01:09:47,792 --> 01:09:50,659
Yeah, well, then you can
buy yourself a new rep.
1187
01:09:59,564 --> 01:10:00,966
As a kid, I loved
1188
01:10:00,999 --> 01:10:02,968
unwrapping Christmas presents
so much
1189
01:10:03,001 --> 01:10:06,035
that my mom would wrap
empty boxes for me.
1190
01:10:06,970 --> 01:10:09,470
I didn't care
that nothing was inside.
1191
01:10:13,206 --> 01:10:15,606
♪ ♪
1192
01:10:21,211 --> 01:10:23,846
Is this a fucking joke?
1193
01:10:23,879 --> 01:10:25,080
No.
1194
01:10:26,580 --> 01:10:28,248
You said it would
fucking be here!
1195
01:10:28,282 --> 01:10:31,984
I'm telling you,
my intel was rock solid.
1196
01:10:32,017 --> 01:10:34,617
I had guys on the inside.
1197
01:10:35,685 --> 01:10:38,988
300 million in cash
was delivered here yesterday
1198
01:10:39,021 --> 01:10:41,488
to this fucking mansion.
1199
01:10:46,258 --> 01:10:49,027
Somebody must've intercepted it.
1200
01:10:53,030 --> 01:10:55,064
Son of a bitch.
1201
01:11:17,576 --> 01:11:18,978
Oh, shit.
1202
01:11:19,012 --> 01:11:21,579
Santa, you okay?
1203
01:11:21,612 --> 01:11:23,214
Santa.
1204
01:11:23,247 --> 01:11:25,315
A bunch of new bad guys
showed up.
1205
01:11:25,348 --> 01:11:27,282
They're on the naughty list.
1206
01:11:27,316 --> 01:11:30,517
They got their gadgets
and their gizmos on them.
1207
01:11:31,185 --> 01:11:33,686
I'm sorry.
I think this is it, kid.
1208
01:11:33,718 --> 01:11:35,321
No, no, don't say that.
1209
01:11:35,354 --> 01:11:37,322
The naughty list...
1210
01:11:37,355 --> 01:11:39,890
just grows and grows.
1211
01:11:48,660 --> 01:11:52,297
He's in that structure.
Body cams on.
1212
01:11:52,331 --> 01:11:54,332
Don't give up.
1213
01:11:54,365 --> 01:11:57,000
You make a wish this time,
Santa.
1214
01:11:57,034 --> 01:11:58,700
Just this once.
1215
01:11:58,734 --> 01:12:01,668
If you could have anything
in this world,
1216
01:12:01,702 --> 01:12:03,904
what would it be?
1217
01:12:09,672 --> 01:12:12,674
I wish I could see
Mrs. Claus again,
1218
01:12:12,708 --> 01:12:15,778
tell her how much I love her.
1219
01:12:15,811 --> 01:12:18,645
Then you make
that wish come true.
1220
01:12:18,678 --> 01:12:20,781
Oh, shit.
1221
01:12:20,814 --> 01:12:23,049
No, no, no, no. No, no.
1222
01:12:24,883 --> 01:12:26,150
Oh, God.
1223
01:12:26,183 --> 01:12:29,085
No.
1224
01:12:31,186 --> 01:12:33,586
♪ ♪
1225
01:12:41,359 --> 01:12:44,327
You said these guys,
they're naughty.
1226
01:12:44,361 --> 01:12:47,296
And what do you do
to the naughty ones?
1227
01:12:47,329 --> 01:12:49,197
I give them a lump of coal.
1228
01:12:49,230 --> 01:12:51,664
Yeah. Give them their lumps.
1229
01:12:52,832 --> 01:12:55,033
Take that coal and shove it
straight up their...
1230
01:12:55,067 --> 01:12:57,201
- Anuses.
- Yeah!
1231
01:12:57,234 --> 01:12:59,070
♪ ♪
1232
01:13:03,238 --> 01:13:04,939
They're right outside.
1233
01:13:06,274 --> 01:13:08,141
♪ ♪
1234
01:13:19,247 --> 01:13:21,682
Santa's gonna eat
through these guys
1235
01:13:21,715 --> 01:13:23,817
like a plate full of cookies.
1236
01:13:28,219 --> 01:13:29,754
Move, move.
1237
01:13:33,289 --> 01:13:35,124
Hey, lock it up.
1238
01:13:37,025 --> 01:13:38,926
Lights down.
1239
01:13:40,026 --> 01:13:42,095
Stay at my back.
1240
01:13:42,128 --> 01:13:44,062
All right, we got this, boys.
1241
01:13:55,302 --> 01:13:57,736
♪ ♪
1242
01:14:02,940 --> 01:14:05,241
All right, where the fuck
is my money?!
1243
01:14:05,274 --> 01:14:07,776
Where's the money?!
1244
01:14:18,415 --> 01:14:21,150
All right, I've been
a sweetheart up to now.
1245
01:14:21,183 --> 01:14:22,751
But that's all over.
1246
01:14:22,785 --> 01:14:24,352
No more fucking games!
1247
01:14:24,385 --> 01:14:25,986
Where's the money?
1248
01:14:26,019 --> 01:14:29,055
Or I will shoot every last
one of you and enjoy it.
1249
01:14:33,157 --> 01:14:35,892
- It's in the vault.
- I just looked in the vault.
1250
01:14:35,925 --> 01:14:37,392
Had the money been in there,
1251
01:14:37,426 --> 01:14:39,128
I'd have a different
expression on my face.
1252
01:14:39,161 --> 01:14:40,394
Impossible.
1253
01:14:40,428 --> 01:14:42,696
Takes days to get
into that thing.
1254
01:14:42,729 --> 01:14:46,132
Not if we have the key,
Mrs. Lightstone.
1255
01:14:47,432 --> 01:14:49,399
Thorp.
1256
01:14:50,934 --> 01:14:53,369
You can't trust anyone
these days.
1257
01:14:53,402 --> 01:14:55,704
I'm not sure how, but you
1258
01:14:55,737 --> 01:14:58,439
or one of your shithead kids
moved the money.
1259
01:14:58,472 --> 01:15:00,340
And this upsets me.
1260
01:15:00,373 --> 01:15:02,174
It upsets me
1261
01:15:02,207 --> 01:15:06,243
in a way that makes me want to
just randomly shoot at people.
1262
01:15:07,210 --> 01:15:09,345
Hold on. Just... Sorry.
1263
01:15:09,378 --> 01:15:10,879
- Um...
- What? What?
1264
01:15:10,912 --> 01:15:12,347
Uh, what if you randomly shoot
1265
01:15:12,380 --> 01:15:14,915
the only person
who knows where it is?
1266
01:15:16,048 --> 01:15:18,116
Oh, fuck you people!
1267
01:15:18,150 --> 01:15:20,184
♪ ♪
1268
01:15:22,852 --> 01:15:27,922
♪ We waited
all through the year ♪
1269
01:15:28,789 --> 01:15:33,826
♪ For the day to appear ♪
1270
01:15:35,727 --> 01:15:41,330
♪ When we could be together ♪
1271
01:15:41,364 --> 01:15:43,931
♪ In harmony ♪
1272
01:15:45,332 --> 01:15:47,433
♪ You know the time will come ♪
1273
01:15:50,435 --> 01:15:52,837
♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪
1274
01:15:52,870 --> 01:15:54,304
Suck on this.
1275
01:15:58,873 --> 01:16:03,743
♪ And we can live forever ♪
1276
01:16:03,776 --> 01:16:06,978
♪ In a world where we are free ♪
1277
01:16:07,012 --> 01:16:10,013
♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪
1278
01:16:10,046 --> 01:16:13,315
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪
1279
01:16:13,348 --> 01:16:16,284
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪
1280
01:16:16,317 --> 01:16:19,319
♪ That makes you wish it was
Christmas every day... ♪
1281
01:16:19,352 --> 01:16:20,886
I need some feedback, guys.
1282
01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:24,721
Guys, what the hell is going on?
1283
01:16:25,422 --> 01:16:27,990
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪
1284
01:16:28,024 --> 01:16:32,793
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪
1285
01:16:34,227 --> 01:16:39,063
♪ We're all as one tonight ♪
1286
01:16:39,096 --> 01:16:43,832
♪ Makes no difference
if you're Black or white ♪
1287
01:16:46,768 --> 01:16:49,303
♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪
1288
01:16:52,104 --> 01:16:54,139
♪ In harmony ♪
1289
01:16:56,040 --> 01:17:00,842
♪ I know it's not too late ♪
1290
01:17:00,876 --> 01:17:03,811
♪ The world would be ♪
1291
01:17:03,844 --> 01:17:07,213
♪ A better place ♪
1292
01:17:09,348 --> 01:17:10,848
- What's that?
- Huh?
1293
01:17:10,882 --> 01:17:12,950
♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪
1294
01:17:14,917 --> 01:17:17,352
♪ More than one day
in the year ♪
1295
01:17:17,385 --> 01:17:21,754
♪ Send a message
loud and clear ♪
1296
01:17:22,922 --> 01:17:25,857
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪
1297
01:17:25,891 --> 01:17:28,292
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪
1298
01:17:28,326 --> 01:17:32,761
♪ That makes you wish
it was Christmas every day ♪
1299
01:17:34,862 --> 01:17:38,397
♪ To see the joy
in the children's eyes ♪
1300
01:17:38,431 --> 01:17:41,099
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪
1301
01:17:41,132 --> 01:17:46,169
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪
1302
01:17:47,136 --> 01:17:50,037
♪ It's the time of year
when everyone's together... ♪
1303
01:17:50,071 --> 01:17:52,006
Jesus Christ.
1304
01:17:52,806 --> 01:17:55,241
Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick.
1305
01:17:55,274 --> 01:17:57,442
♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪
1306
01:17:59,043 --> 01:18:02,845
♪ When the ones you love
are there ♪
1307
01:18:02,878 --> 01:18:07,514
♪ You can feel the magic
in the air... ♪
1308
01:18:07,548 --> 01:18:10,350
- Oh, God!
- There you go.
1309
01:18:10,383 --> 01:18:12,084
A little stocking stuffer.
1310
01:18:13,018 --> 01:18:16,419
Where is it?
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
1311
01:18:16,453 --> 01:18:18,988
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
1312
01:18:19,021 --> 01:18:21,789
- I got to watch.
- Fuck!
1313
01:18:22,890 --> 01:18:25,025
Ho-Ho-Holy shit.
1314
01:18:25,058 --> 01:18:27,393
♪ Christmas will never
go away. ♪
1315
01:18:27,426 --> 01:18:30,028
Gertrude would never
trust anybody
1316
01:18:30,061 --> 01:18:32,396
who wasn't blood
with this kind of info.
1317
01:18:32,429 --> 01:18:34,297
So...
1318
01:18:34,330 --> 01:18:37,865
the in-laws wouldn't know shit,
1319
01:18:37,898 --> 01:18:40,300
which means
that I can shoot her...
1320
01:18:41,935 --> 01:18:43,902
unless you tell me
where the fucking money is.
1321
01:18:43,936 --> 01:18:46,137
Please don't, okay?
It's Christmas.
1322
01:18:46,170 --> 01:18:48,038
Shut up!
1323
01:18:48,939 --> 01:18:50,206
I swear,
I'll blow her brains out
1324
01:18:50,239 --> 01:18:51,540
unless you tell me
where the money went.
1325
01:18:51,575 --> 01:18:53,942
I did it!
1326
01:18:53,975 --> 01:18:56,243
- What?
- Okay. Yeah, I did it.
1327
01:18:56,277 --> 01:18:58,177
- I moved the money.
- No, d-don't-don't be an idiot.
1328
01:18:58,211 --> 01:18:59,978
- What?
- The money's our only leverage.
1329
01:19:00,012 --> 01:19:01,812
Well, my wife has a fucking
gun to her head, so...
1330
01:19:01,846 --> 01:19:03,548
Yeah, how did you find out
that we were coming, huh?
1331
01:19:03,582 --> 01:19:05,282
I didn't. I was stealing it.
1332
01:19:06,616 --> 01:19:07,950
- Yeah, coincidence.
- Oh, my God.
1333
01:19:07,983 --> 01:19:09,284
I was planning to take the money
1334
01:19:09,317 --> 01:19:12,419
and leave with my wife
and daughter tonight
1335
01:19:12,452 --> 01:19:14,420
and never come back here.
1336
01:19:14,453 --> 01:19:17,889
Oh, and then my mom would, uh,
1337
01:19:17,922 --> 01:19:19,923
read the note with her whiskey
in the morning
1338
01:19:19,957 --> 01:19:21,524
and know what I had done.
1339
01:19:21,558 --> 01:19:23,992
For years,
I have been telling you
1340
01:19:24,026 --> 01:19:26,294
to stop caring about
your mother's fucking money!
1341
01:19:26,327 --> 01:19:29,863
And you think the solution
was to steal a bunch of it.
1342
01:19:30,563 --> 01:19:32,497
Well, it...
yeah, it does sound stupid
1343
01:19:32,531 --> 01:19:34,065
when you say it like that.
1344
01:19:34,098 --> 01:19:36,099
How can you do this right now?
1345
01:19:36,133 --> 01:19:38,167
It's disgusting. After all
that Mother has given us?
1346
01:19:38,200 --> 01:19:40,335
Come on, Alva.
Everything she ever gave you,
1347
01:19:40,368 --> 01:19:41,570
she made damn sure we knew
1348
01:19:41,604 --> 01:19:42,936
she had the power
to take right back.
1349
01:19:42,970 --> 01:19:46,838
I have spent years
groveling to you.
1350
01:19:46,872 --> 01:19:49,473
In the meanwhile,
I was destroying
1351
01:19:49,507 --> 01:19:51,542
the only good thing in my life.
1352
01:19:51,575 --> 01:19:53,043
What are we doing here, huh?
1353
01:19:53,076 --> 01:19:55,911
Family therapy or doing a heist?
1354
01:19:55,944 --> 01:19:58,945
- Yeah, enough of this sharing
bullshit. -
1355
01:19:58,979 --> 01:20:00,947
All right. Where'd you put it?
1356
01:20:07,084 --> 01:20:09,819
Look at this little idiot.
1357
01:20:13,387 --> 01:20:15,022
Oh, no.
1358
01:20:15,056 --> 01:20:16,489
What?
1359
01:20:16,524 --> 01:20:18,457
- The bad guys found me.
- Okay.
1360
01:20:18,490 --> 01:20:20,358
I'm coming.
1361
01:20:26,996 --> 01:20:30,964
You know, booby traps don't work
unless you hide them.
1362
01:20:33,500 --> 01:20:35,100
You little moron.
1363
01:20:38,102 --> 01:20:40,370
Jesus! Shit!
1364
01:20:44,339 --> 01:20:46,373
Help me! Help me! Help!
1365
01:20:47,941 --> 01:20:50,009
You'll be f... You'll be fine.
1366
01:20:50,042 --> 01:20:52,210
Sit tight.
I'll be back in a sec.
1367
01:20:55,112 --> 01:20:57,380
Right after I kill
this little piece of shit!
1368
01:21:00,182 --> 01:21:02,483
You little fucking brat.
1369
01:21:51,177 --> 01:21:52,646
You're dead!
1370
01:21:52,680 --> 01:21:55,280
You're so fucking dead!
1371
01:22:02,418 --> 01:22:04,985
Fucking piece of shit.
1372
01:22:10,021 --> 01:22:12,890
You little...
1373
01:22:30,067 --> 01:22:32,135
Incoming!
1374
01:22:50,679 --> 01:22:52,547
Son of a fucking...
1375
01:23:02,620 --> 01:23:04,521
Fuck.
1376
01:23:04,554 --> 01:23:06,388
I got you now, kid.
1377
01:23:06,422 --> 01:23:08,156
Yeah? Heads up.
1378
01:23:10,223 --> 01:23:11,725
That's all you got?
You fucking...
1379
01:23:14,593 --> 01:23:17,261
Enough of this shit.
1380
01:23:24,699 --> 01:23:27,100
♪ ♪
1381
01:23:42,709 --> 01:23:44,076
Santa!
1382
01:23:54,016 --> 01:23:56,184
Hi, Trudy. Hi.
1383
01:23:56,217 --> 01:23:59,052
I made booby traps like
in the movie. It was so funny.
1384
01:23:59,085 --> 01:24:01,521
Ho, ho, ho.
1385
01:24:07,458 --> 01:24:11,392
Trudy, I want you to, uh...
just do me a favor.
1386
01:24:12,293 --> 01:24:15,195
Just turn around
and close your eyes.
1387
01:24:15,228 --> 01:24:18,030
Maybe put your fingers
in your ears and, uh,
1388
01:24:18,063 --> 01:24:21,097
sing "Jingle Bells"
as loud as you can.
1389
01:24:21,131 --> 01:24:23,065
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
1390
01:24:23,098 --> 01:24:25,334
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
1391
01:24:25,367 --> 01:24:27,670
♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪
1392
01:24:27,703 --> 01:24:30,637
You were about to murder
an innocent child.
1393
01:24:30,671 --> 01:24:31,738
♪ Jingle bells,
jingle bells... ♪
1394
01:24:31,772 --> 01:24:33,473
Innocent?
1395
01:24:33,506 --> 01:24:35,474
It's naughty.
1396
01:24:35,507 --> 01:24:37,074
Naughty.
1397
01:24:37,641 --> 01:24:39,175
Naughty!
1398
01:24:39,209 --> 01:24:40,777
It's part of
the Lightstone legacy.
1399
01:24:40,810 --> 01:24:42,611
We're horrible people.
1400
01:24:42,644 --> 01:24:44,345
So I get why you did
what you did.
1401
01:24:44,378 --> 01:24:46,414
When your grandfather told me
I'd never run the company
1402
01:24:46,447 --> 01:24:48,748
because a girl
doesn't have what it takes,
1403
01:24:48,782 --> 01:24:50,749
I had to snatch the reins
away from him.
1404
01:24:50,783 --> 01:24:52,316
But the point is,
1405
01:24:52,349 --> 01:24:54,116
a Lightstone takes
what's theirs.
1406
01:24:54,150 --> 01:24:55,719
I'm proud of you, son.
1407
01:24:55,752 --> 01:24:57,219
All right, where the hell is it?
1408
01:24:59,554 --> 01:25:01,522
The money's hidden inside.
1409
01:25:02,690 --> 01:25:05,692
And the Three Wise Men
presented him with gifts
1410
01:25:05,725 --> 01:25:08,593
of frankincense, myrrh...
1411
01:25:10,660 --> 01:25:13,729
and cold hard cash.
1412
01:25:13,762 --> 01:25:15,263
Load it up, boys.
1413
01:25:15,296 --> 01:25:17,632
All right,
we're securing the money.
1414
01:25:17,665 --> 01:25:19,533
Kill the hostages
and meet us outside.
1415
01:25:19,566 --> 01:25:21,366
What?
1416
01:25:21,400 --> 01:25:23,367
No.
1417
01:25:23,401 --> 01:25:25,368
♪ ♪
1418
01:25:25,402 --> 01:25:26,604
Mom.
1419
01:25:26,637 --> 01:25:28,103
It's fine, Bert.
1420
01:25:28,136 --> 01:25:29,472
Everything's fine.
1421
01:25:29,506 --> 01:25:31,573
Okay.
1422
01:25:31,607 --> 01:25:33,641
Everybody, get up.
1423
01:25:33,674 --> 01:25:38,109
It's time for a murder.
1424
01:25:38,142 --> 01:25:40,578
Come on. Come on.
You don't want to kill us.
1425
01:25:40,612 --> 01:25:42,044
You really don't.
1426
01:25:42,078 --> 01:25:44,145
Oh, yes, I do.
1427
01:25:44,179 --> 01:25:47,248
I really, really, really do.
1428
01:25:47,281 --> 01:25:48,782
And I'm gonna start with you.
1429
01:25:48,816 --> 01:25:50,283
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1430
01:25:50,316 --> 01:25:51,551
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
1431
01:25:53,285 --> 01:25:54,820
You got to kill
Aunt Linda first.
1432
01:25:54,853 --> 01:25:56,787
What the hell, Bert?
1433
01:25:56,821 --> 01:25:58,722
You want to squeeze in
being a little shit
1434
01:25:58,755 --> 01:26:00,322
before you die, Bertrude?
1435
01:26:00,356 --> 01:26:01,824
- I say shoot him first.
- What?
1436
01:26:01,857 --> 01:26:04,091
Wait. No, no, no.
Don't shoot him.
1437
01:26:04,124 --> 01:26:06,125
Don't shoot him first.
And don't you call him
1438
01:26:06,158 --> 01:26:07,728
a little shit,
you gold-digging bitch.
1439
01:26:07,761 --> 01:26:09,462
Okay. I changed my mind.
1440
01:26:09,495 --> 01:26:11,429
-Shoot the alcoholic bitch
first. -Don't call my mom
1441
01:26:11,463 --> 01:26:13,531
- an alcoholic bitch.
- Your mom's an alcoholic.
1442
01:26:13,564 --> 01:26:15,365
- I'm sorry.
- You're a gold-digging bitch.
1443
01:26:15,398 --> 01:26:17,533
Oh, I'm a gold-digger,
when I have a whole-ass career?
1444
01:26:17,566 --> 01:26:19,233
You're not even part
of the fucking family.
1445
01:26:19,267 --> 01:26:22,234
- She's an engineer.
- You know goddamn well...
1446
01:26:22,268 --> 01:26:23,403
Shut up!
1447
01:26:27,137 --> 01:26:31,207
Just like rats in a barrel.
1448
01:26:31,874 --> 01:26:34,141
Why don't you die
with some dignity?
1449
01:26:39,379 --> 01:26:41,145
Get off of me!
1450
01:26:41,178 --> 01:26:42,714
Okay, okay.
1451
01:26:42,748 --> 01:26:44,147
Fuck you!
1452
01:26:44,180 --> 01:26:46,583
This is for yelling at my child!
1453
01:26:46,616 --> 01:26:48,117
Creep!
1454
01:26:48,150 --> 01:26:49,718
That's for slapping me,
motherfucker!
1455
01:26:49,752 --> 01:26:51,653
This is for
your dumb fucking hat!
1456
01:27:01,392 --> 01:27:02,859
Is he...
1457
01:27:02,892 --> 01:27:04,561
Is he dead?
1458
01:27:08,462 --> 01:27:10,363
Yeah.
1459
01:27:11,196 --> 01:27:12,631
Thanks, Linda.
1460
01:27:12,665 --> 01:27:15,800
Well, it's nice to do something
as a family for a change.
1461
01:27:17,199 --> 01:27:18,702
Oh, shit!
1462
01:27:18,735 --> 01:27:20,636
I'm gonna...
1463
01:27:24,738 --> 01:27:26,306
That was for Morgan.
1464
01:27:26,340 --> 01:27:31,375
He may have been stupid,
but he was very, very hot.
1465
01:27:32,677 --> 01:27:35,110
Oh. Trudy!
1466
01:27:35,144 --> 01:27:37,479
Mommy!
1467
01:27:37,513 --> 01:27:39,179
Thank God, baby.
1468
01:27:39,212 --> 01:27:41,113
Are you okay?
1469
01:27:41,147 --> 01:27:42,716
I'm okay, Mommy.
1470
01:27:42,749 --> 01:27:43,849
Okay.
1471
01:27:43,883 --> 01:27:46,484
This is my friend, Santa.
1472
01:27:50,787 --> 01:27:52,821
What the fuck?
1473
01:27:52,854 --> 01:27:54,723
I can't thank you enough,
Mister...
1474
01:27:54,756 --> 01:27:57,325
Claus. But please call me Santa.
1475
01:27:57,357 --> 01:27:58,458
Mm-hmm.
1476
01:27:58,491 --> 01:28:00,559
You guys should get out of here.
1477
01:28:00,593 --> 01:28:02,159
It's dangerous.
1478
01:28:02,192 --> 01:28:04,462
They took my husband
and her grandmother.
1479
01:28:06,295 --> 01:28:07,797
Anybody know how to work
these gizmos?
1480
01:28:07,830 --> 01:28:09,230
I think so.
1481
01:28:09,263 --> 01:28:10,865
I used to hunt with my dad.
1482
01:28:10,899 --> 01:28:12,165
Ow.
1483
01:28:12,198 --> 01:28:13,734
Copy that. How's that looking?
1484
01:28:13,767 --> 01:28:16,568
- Yeah, I got it on lockdown.
- Heads on a swivel, boys.
1485
01:28:17,903 --> 01:28:19,537
- Incoming!
- Heads up!
1486
01:28:20,905 --> 01:28:22,472
Oh, oh! Who's shooting?
1487
01:28:22,505 --> 01:28:23,706
Who's...
1488
01:28:23,739 --> 01:28:27,240
- Cap, get down!
- Watch it! Watch it!
1489
01:28:32,277 --> 01:28:34,613
Gun 'em down. Mow them all down.
1490
01:28:50,455 --> 01:28:53,290
-All right, let's get the fuck
out of here. -Let's go.
1491
01:28:53,323 --> 01:28:55,725
- Go where?
- Come on, move, you old bat.
1492
01:28:56,592 --> 01:28:58,526
Get your fucking
hands off of me.
1493
01:29:08,633 --> 01:29:10,834
Oh! Oh, shit.
1494
01:29:10,867 --> 01:29:14,402
My balls! My fucking balls!
1495
01:29:31,278 --> 01:29:33,747
Ow, my balls! Why did you
shoot me in the ball...
1496
01:29:37,649 --> 01:29:39,916
Oh, Jesus.
1497
01:29:39,950 --> 01:29:41,618
Sorry.
1498
01:29:43,552 --> 01:29:46,220
Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus.
We got this.
1499
01:29:46,253 --> 01:29:48,589
Who is that guy?
1500
01:29:48,622 --> 01:29:51,189
He said he was Mr. Claus.
1501
01:29:52,791 --> 01:29:54,792
- Fuck. Trudy.
- No, no.
1502
01:29:54,825 --> 01:29:56,526
She's in the house. She's okay.
1503
01:29:56,559 --> 01:29:57,794
She's safe.
1504
01:29:57,827 --> 01:29:59,928
- Oh, thank God.
- Yeah.
1505
01:30:03,697 --> 01:30:05,732
♪ ♪
1506
01:30:20,707 --> 01:30:22,275
No, no.
1507
01:30:22,308 --> 01:30:24,810
- Oh... go, go, go, go, go.
- No, no, no. Wait, wait.
1508
01:30:56,995 --> 01:30:59,296
♪ ♪
1509
01:31:10,669 --> 01:31:13,237
Oh, shit!
1510
01:31:15,439 --> 01:31:18,274
Ho, ho!
1511
01:31:19,841 --> 01:31:21,208
Fuck!
1512
01:32:04,634 --> 01:32:07,403
Fucking die.
1513
01:32:40,055 --> 01:32:42,490
♪ ♪
1514
01:32:54,663 --> 01:32:56,831
♪ ♪
1515
01:33:00,500 --> 01:33:02,367
Come on. Come on. Come on.
1516
01:33:02,400 --> 01:33:05,603
Yeah, over here. Over here.
1517
01:33:05,636 --> 01:33:06,871
Santa!
1518
01:33:07,837 --> 01:33:09,671
Come on!
1519
01:33:09,705 --> 01:33:11,039
Yeah.
1520
01:33:54,864 --> 01:33:56,299
Fuck.
1521
01:34:06,971 --> 01:34:09,406
♪ ♪
1522
01:34:19,846 --> 01:34:21,880
You're real?
1523
01:34:23,381 --> 01:34:25,715
You're... him.
1524
01:34:28,717 --> 01:34:30,019
You're you.
1525
01:34:30,052 --> 01:34:32,620
That's what I've been trying
to tell you.
1526
01:34:32,654 --> 01:34:35,955
The real goddamn Santa Claus.
1527
01:34:35,988 --> 01:34:38,490
This is not your night, pal.
1528
01:34:38,523 --> 01:34:41,625
Oh, I don't know.
I think you're wrong.
1529
01:34:41,659 --> 01:34:44,960
I think my whole shitty life's
built up to this moment.
1530
01:34:44,993 --> 01:34:46,428
Because when I kill you,
1531
01:34:46,461 --> 01:34:49,729
this whole goddamn holiday
finally ends.
1532
01:34:51,498 --> 01:34:53,465
Whatever it takes...
1533
01:34:55,066 --> 01:34:57,067
Christmas dies tonight.
1534
01:35:49,497 --> 01:35:50,999
Whoa!
1535
01:36:16,046 --> 01:36:19,382
♪ ♪
1536
01:37:16,182 --> 01:37:18,883
The last Christmas.
1537
01:37:28,889 --> 01:37:31,456
Not if you still believe.
1538
01:37:33,058 --> 01:37:35,059
No!
1539
01:38:03,243 --> 01:38:06,844
I have no idea what the fuck
is going on here.
1540
01:38:09,147 --> 01:38:11,447
But this ends now.
1541
01:38:16,184 --> 01:38:18,017
Damn right it does.
1542
01:38:27,123 --> 01:38:29,490
Trudy, be careful.
1543
01:38:33,026 --> 01:38:34,961
Santa!
1544
01:38:34,994 --> 01:38:37,595
Oh, no. Santa.
1545
01:38:38,929 --> 01:38:40,596
Oh, no.
1546
01:38:47,235 --> 01:38:49,569
You saved my daughter.
1547
01:38:50,170 --> 01:38:51,837
No.
1548
01:38:52,804 --> 01:38:54,106
She saved me.
1549
01:38:54,139 --> 01:38:56,873
Help him. Please help him.
1550
01:38:56,907 --> 01:38:59,507
Honey, I don't think
there's anything we can do.
1551
01:38:59,541 --> 01:39:00,709
It's okay. It's okay.
1552
01:39:00,742 --> 01:39:02,977
It's too late for that.
1553
01:39:03,010 --> 01:39:05,478
Too late.
1554
01:39:06,113 --> 01:39:08,780
I'm cold.
1555
01:39:08,814 --> 01:39:11,015
I haven't felt cold in years.
1556
01:39:11,049 --> 01:39:13,084
We need to keep him warm.
1557
01:39:14,084 --> 01:39:16,218
All of the fires are going out.
1558
01:39:16,251 --> 01:39:18,719
We need to find
something to burn.
1559
01:39:19,987 --> 01:39:21,620
I got an idea.
1560
01:39:24,723 --> 01:39:26,523
Whoa.
1561
01:39:27,958 --> 01:39:29,259
No.
1562
01:39:29,293 --> 01:39:31,593
No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no.
1563
01:39:31,626 --> 01:39:32,661
Please, Santa.
1564
01:39:32,694 --> 01:39:35,729
I don't want you to die.
1565
01:39:38,764 --> 01:39:40,299
Jason, let's slow this down.
1566
01:39:40,332 --> 01:39:41,899
What are you doing?
1567
01:39:41,933 --> 01:39:45,135
I've lived longer
than any man should ever live.
1568
01:39:45,168 --> 01:39:47,902
He's pretty much dead.
What the hell is happening?
1569
01:39:47,936 --> 01:39:49,970
- You don't need to burn money.
- Okay. More. Yeah.
1570
01:39:50,004 --> 01:39:53,573
You can't die, Santa.
You have to get up.
1571
01:39:53,606 --> 01:39:56,042
I think I used up
all my Christmas magic.
1572
01:39:57,008 --> 01:39:58,743
Sorry.
1573
01:40:00,777 --> 01:40:04,313
I'm s... I'm sorry I can't
give you what you asked for.
1574
01:40:06,048 --> 01:40:08,216
Take that. Take that.
1575
01:40:08,249 --> 01:40:09,915
But you did.
1576
01:40:12,684 --> 01:40:14,952
Santa, please don't die.
1577
01:40:14,985 --> 01:40:17,587
Wake up. Wake up.
1578
01:40:17,620 --> 01:40:20,089
We need to get him
close to the fire.
1579
01:40:20,123 --> 01:40:22,057
Jason.
1580
01:40:22,822 --> 01:40:24,824
Just wake up.
1581
01:40:25,824 --> 01:40:27,127
Please.
1582
01:40:27,160 --> 01:40:29,061
No.
1583
01:40:33,296 --> 01:40:36,731
Oh, I am so, so sorry.
1584
01:40:41,634 --> 01:40:44,568
This man...
1585
01:40:45,303 --> 01:40:48,905
This brave, brave man,
whoever he was...
1586
01:40:48,938 --> 01:40:50,173
He's Santa.
1587
01:40:50,206 --> 01:40:52,341
The real Santa. He is.
1588
01:40:52,374 --> 01:40:55,642
And I still believe in him.
1589
01:40:56,343 --> 01:40:59,078
I'll always believe in you,
Santa.
1590
01:41:03,746 --> 01:41:05,747
I believe in him, too.
1591
01:41:08,916 --> 01:41:11,352
He saved Trudy.
1592
01:41:11,385 --> 01:41:13,819
He saved our family.
1593
01:41:15,820 --> 01:41:18,056
What's realer than that?
1594
01:41:21,992 --> 01:41:23,858
Then maybe...
1595
01:41:26,227 --> 01:41:28,561
I believe in him, too.
1596
01:41:29,229 --> 01:41:30,862
So do I.
1597
01:41:31,896 --> 01:41:35,132
Oh, shit.
1598
01:41:35,166 --> 01:41:37,233
I guess...
1599
01:41:37,267 --> 01:41:39,268
I guess I do, too.
1600
01:41:39,301 --> 01:41:41,136
Fuck me.
1601
01:41:41,170 --> 01:41:43,037
I believe, too.
1602
01:41:48,107 --> 01:41:50,175
♪ ♪
1603
01:41:53,342 --> 01:41:54,977
Oh, my God.
1604
01:41:55,011 --> 01:41:56,144
Santa!
1605
01:42:01,114 --> 01:42:02,781
You...
1606
01:42:04,383 --> 01:42:06,616
You were dead.
1607
01:42:07,251 --> 01:42:09,852
Christmas magic.
1608
01:42:09,885 --> 01:42:12,354
I still don't really
understand...
1609
01:42:12,387 --> 01:42:14,588
how it works.
1610
01:42:20,092 --> 01:42:21,959
Thank you.
1611
01:42:21,992 --> 01:42:23,994
I don't know
how we can ever repay you.
1612
01:42:24,028 --> 01:42:26,129
Well, you brought me back
from the dead,
1613
01:42:26,162 --> 01:42:27,862
so we'll call it even.
1614
01:42:28,997 --> 01:42:30,264
Even?
1615
01:42:30,298 --> 01:42:32,898
We just burned
half a million dollars.
1616
01:42:33,732 --> 01:42:35,234
- Look, Santa!
- Hmm?
1617
01:42:35,267 --> 01:42:36,867
Look who came.
1618
01:42:36,900 --> 01:42:39,103
♪ ♪
1619
01:42:44,039 --> 01:42:47,308
Now you show up, huh?
1620
01:42:47,341 --> 01:42:48,874
You leave me here to die,
1621
01:42:48,907 --> 01:42:51,043
come back after
all the work's done, huh?
1622
01:42:51,076 --> 01:42:53,844
You know what? I should make
you guys into a stew
1623
01:42:53,877 --> 01:42:56,046
and feed you to the elves!
1624
01:42:58,047 --> 01:43:02,983
Yes, Blitzen!
Yes, I'm talking to you!
1625
01:43:03,016 --> 01:43:04,984
You, too, Prancer.
1626
01:43:10,287 --> 01:43:12,255
You got my sack.
1627
01:43:12,288 --> 01:43:16,756
My spare... You went home
and you got my spare sack?
1628
01:43:18,426 --> 01:43:21,194
Oh, God, I can't stay mad
at you guys.
1629
01:43:21,228 --> 01:43:22,861
I...
1630
01:43:22,894 --> 01:43:27,197
Aw. I can't. I can't.
1631
01:43:27,231 --> 01:43:30,032
Aw.
1632
01:43:31,032 --> 01:43:33,101
Aw.
1633
01:43:44,074 --> 01:43:45,673
Hello, beautiful.
1634
01:43:45,707 --> 01:43:47,641
Skullcrusher!
1635
01:44:00,416 --> 01:44:02,151
Guess this is goodbye.
1636
01:44:02,184 --> 01:44:03,751
I got to go.
1637
01:44:04,452 --> 01:44:06,752
Do you have to?
1638
01:44:09,955 --> 01:44:12,223
It's Christmas Eve,
and there's a lot of...
1639
01:44:12,257 --> 01:44:13,856
boys and girls on the nice list
1640
01:44:13,890 --> 01:44:16,225
that want their presents,
you know?
1641
01:44:18,327 --> 01:44:20,061
Thank you.
1642
01:44:21,028 --> 01:44:22,463
For what?
1643
01:44:22,496 --> 01:44:24,197
For believing in me.
1644
01:44:24,230 --> 01:44:27,732
For reminding me
that Christmas still matters.
1645
01:44:29,200 --> 01:44:31,902
And that I still...
1646
01:44:31,935 --> 01:44:34,003
matter.
1647
01:44:35,470 --> 01:44:37,837
You gave me
my "ho, ho, ho" back.
1648
01:44:42,275 --> 01:44:44,675
♪ ♪
1649
01:44:47,510 --> 01:44:50,012
All right. Get out of here.
1650
01:44:53,747 --> 01:44:56,714
Merry Christmas!
1651
01:44:59,150 --> 01:45:00,318
Hyah!
1652
01:45:00,351 --> 01:45:03,786
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!
1653
01:45:03,819 --> 01:45:05,922
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
1654
01:45:05,955 --> 01:45:09,290
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
1655
01:45:09,323 --> 01:45:12,325
On, Donner and Blitzen!
1656
01:45:12,358 --> 01:45:16,160
Come on, you beautiful bastards!
1657
01:45:16,194 --> 01:45:19,296
We've got some work to do!
1658
01:45:19,329 --> 01:45:22,331
Hyah!
1659
01:45:22,364 --> 01:45:25,099
Ho, ho, ho!
1660
01:45:25,133 --> 01:45:28,234
Merry Christmas!
1661
01:45:28,267 --> 01:45:30,701
♪ ♪
1662
01:45:39,241 --> 01:45:45,211
♪ Are you hanging up
your stocking on your wall? ♪
1663
01:45:47,145 --> 01:45:53,115
♪ It's the time that
every Santa has a ball ♪
1664
01:45:54,848 --> 01:45:58,784
♪ Does he ride
a red-nosed reindeer? ♪
1665
01:45:58,817 --> 01:46:02,221
♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪
1666
01:46:02,254 --> 01:46:08,190
♪ Do the fairies
keep him sober for a day? ♪
1667
01:46:09,158 --> 01:46:11,359
♪ So here it is ♪
1668
01:46:11,392 --> 01:46:13,360
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1669
01:46:13,393 --> 01:46:17,929
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1670
01:46:17,963 --> 01:46:21,332
♪ Look to the future now ♪
1671
01:46:21,365 --> 01:46:28,269
♪ It's only just begun ♪
1672
01:46:28,302 --> 01:46:34,340
♪ Are you waiting for
the family to arrive? ♪
1673
01:46:36,307 --> 01:46:38,375
♪ Are you sure you got ♪
1674
01:46:38,408 --> 01:46:42,043
♪ The room to spare inside? ♪
1675
01:46:43,578 --> 01:46:47,146
♪ Does your granny
always tell ya ♪
1676
01:46:47,180 --> 01:46:51,016
♪ That the old songs
are the best? ♪
1677
01:46:51,048 --> 01:46:54,184
♪ Then she's up
and rock-and-rolling ♪
1678
01:46:54,217 --> 01:46:56,485
♪ With the rest ♪
1679
01:46:56,518 --> 01:46:58,819
Hey, yo!
What's Gucci, squad fam?
1680
01:46:58,853 --> 01:47:01,855
It's the Bert Locker,
living the dream.
1681
01:47:01,888 --> 01:47:03,923
You know what? See this guy?
Dead as hell.
1682
01:47:03,956 --> 01:47:05,789
Santa's real, all right?
1683
01:47:05,823 --> 01:47:07,459
Don't end up
on the naughty list.
1684
01:47:07,492 --> 01:47:08,859
Do better.
1685
01:47:08,892 --> 01:47:11,127
Bert Lightstone out.
1686
01:47:11,160 --> 01:47:13,161
♪ So here it is ♪
1687
01:47:13,195 --> 01:47:14,996
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1688
01:47:15,029 --> 01:47:19,432
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1689
01:47:19,466 --> 01:47:22,867
♪ Look to the future now ♪
1690
01:47:22,900 --> 01:47:29,170
♪ It's only just begun ♪
1691
01:47:29,204 --> 01:47:31,406
♪ So here it is ♪
1692
01:47:31,439 --> 01:47:33,407
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1693
01:47:33,440 --> 01:47:36,408
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1694
01:47:36,441 --> 01:47:41,278
- ♪ It's Christmas! ♪
- ♪ Look to the future now ♪
1695
01:47:41,311 --> 01:47:49,049
♪ It's only just begun. ♪
1696
01:47:52,118 --> 01:47:53,885
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪
1697
01:47:53,918 --> 01:47:56,020
♪ Let's be good ♪
1698
01:47:56,053 --> 01:48:00,155
- ♪ This coming yuletide ♪
- ♪ Ding dong verily the sky ♪
1699
01:48:00,188 --> 01:48:02,424
♪ Or you'll see ♪
1700
01:48:02,457 --> 01:48:07,893
♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪
1701
01:48:07,926 --> 01:48:11,062
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪
1702
01:48:11,095 --> 01:48:14,097
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪
1703
01:48:14,131 --> 01:48:17,132
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1704
01:48:17,165 --> 01:48:20,167
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Unhappy! ♪
1705
01:48:20,200 --> 01:48:23,603
♪ He's told you once,
he's told you twice ♪
1706
01:48:23,636 --> 01:48:26,570
♪ Too much naughty,
not enough nice ♪
1707
01:48:26,604 --> 01:48:32,074
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪
1708
01:48:33,142 --> 01:48:36,109
♪ Where's the love
and where's the joy? ♪
1709
01:48:36,143 --> 01:48:39,211
♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪
1710
01:48:39,245 --> 01:48:44,581
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪
1711
01:48:44,615 --> 01:48:51,052
♪ Ah... ♪
1712
01:48:52,519 --> 01:48:54,421
♪ Santa's getting mad ♪
1713
01:48:54,454 --> 01:48:56,488
- ♪ Don't you make Santa crazy ♪
- ♪ Better not be bad ♪
1714
01:48:56,522 --> 01:48:59,223
-♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪ -♪ Baby ♪
1715
01:48:59,257 --> 01:49:02,058
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1716
01:49:02,091 --> 01:49:05,460
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪
1717
01:49:05,493 --> 01:49:08,595
♪ If you don't want ♪
1718
01:49:08,629 --> 01:49:11,897
♪ Coal this Christmas ♪
1719
01:49:11,930 --> 01:49:14,999
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪
1720
01:49:15,032 --> 01:49:18,101
♪ Make sure you keep
Santa jolly ♪
1721
01:49:18,134 --> 01:49:21,402
♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪
1722
01:49:21,436 --> 01:49:25,971
♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪
1723
01:49:26,005 --> 01:49:29,107
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪
1724
01:49:29,140 --> 01:49:32,276
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪
1725
01:49:32,309 --> 01:49:35,244
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1726
01:49:35,278 --> 01:49:38,579
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪
1727
01:49:38,612 --> 01:49:41,414
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1728
01:49:41,448 --> 01:49:43,349
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1729
01:49:43,382 --> 01:49:46,517
♪ Don't make him crazy ♪
1730
01:49:46,551 --> 01:49:48,051
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1731
01:49:48,085 --> 01:49:51,153
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1732
01:49:51,187 --> 01:49:54,222
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1733
01:49:54,255 --> 01:49:57,523
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1734
01:49:57,557 --> 01:50:00,492
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1735
01:50:00,525 --> 01:50:02,493
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1736
01:50:02,526 --> 01:50:05,495
♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪
1737
01:50:05,528 --> 01:50:08,163
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
1738
01:50:08,197 --> 01:50:09,997
♪ On the first day
of Christmas ♪
1739
01:50:10,031 --> 01:50:11,631
♪ My true love gave to me ♪
1740
01:50:11,665 --> 01:50:14,433
♪ Good King Wenceslas
looked out ♪
1741
01:50:14,467 --> 01:50:17,235
♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪
1742
01:50:17,268 --> 01:50:20,304
♪ Jingle bells. ♪
1743
01:50:20,337 --> 01:50:22,405
♪ ♪
1744
01:50:43,117 --> 01:50:45,952
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪
1745
01:50:45,985 --> 01:50:49,187
♪ In heaven,
the bells are ringing ♪
1746
01:50:49,220 --> 01:50:51,288
♪ ♪
1747
01:51:08,598 --> 01:51:16,598
♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪
1748
01:51:16,703 --> 01:51:19,004
♪ Hosanna ♪
1749
01:51:19,037 --> 01:51:26,942
♪ In excelsis. ♪
119439
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