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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,188 --> 00:00:07,648 (grand orchestral fanfare playing) 2 00:00:27,539 --> 00:00:29,808 - Action. - Design. 3 00:00:29,832 --> 00:00:32,166 (tires squealing) 4 00:00:34,878 --> 00:00:37,337 ♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪ 5 00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,275 ♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪ 6 00:00:41,299 --> 00:00:44,719 ("A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives playing) 7 00:00:48,054 --> 00:00:51,199 ♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪ 8 00:00:51,223 --> 00:00:54,517 ♪ It's the best time of the year ♪ 9 00:00:55,518 --> 00:00:59,038 ♪ I don't know if there'll be snow ♪ 10 00:00:59,062 --> 00:01:01,708 ♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪ 11 00:01:01,732 --> 00:01:05,002 ♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪ 12 00:01:05,026 --> 00:01:07,819 ♪ And when you walk down the street... ♪ 13 00:01:09,654 --> 00:01:11,923 - (belches) - Another one? 14 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,927 Well, I'm still vertical, so I'd like to change that. 15 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:19,179 ♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪ 16 00:01:19,203 --> 00:01:21,872 ♪ Hung where you can see ♪ 17 00:01:22,706 --> 00:01:24,934 ♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪ 18 00:01:24,958 --> 00:01:27,185 (chuckling): Ho, ho. 19 00:01:27,209 --> 00:01:28,687 (gags) 20 00:01:28,711 --> 00:01:30,962 MAN: Bitter. Pint. 21 00:01:31,963 --> 00:01:33,733 You just get off? 22 00:01:33,757 --> 00:01:36,359 ♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪ 23 00:01:36,383 --> 00:01:38,819 ♪ Oh, by golly, have a holly... ♪ 24 00:01:38,843 --> 00:01:40,738 I'm taking a break. 25 00:01:40,762 --> 00:01:42,906 Between shifts, I guess you could say. 26 00:01:42,930 --> 00:01:44,490 - MAN: Hmm. - You ain't driving, are you? 27 00:01:44,514 --> 00:01:47,534 I steer a little, but the reindeer do most of the work. 28 00:01:47,558 --> 00:01:50,454 (laughter) 29 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,871 Mm-hmm. 30 00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:54,081 This is my, uh, fourth year as a Santa. 31 00:01:54,105 --> 00:01:55,374 Ah. 32 00:01:55,398 --> 00:01:56,625 How about you? 33 00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,710 Lost count. 34 00:01:58,734 --> 00:02:01,879 I forget why I started doing it in the first place. 35 00:02:01,903 --> 00:02:05,173 Same reason anybody does anything. 36 00:02:05,197 --> 00:02:06,966 The money. 37 00:02:06,990 --> 00:02:09,635 (chuckling): Money. Money. 38 00:02:09,659 --> 00:02:11,637 This whole planet runs on greed. 39 00:02:11,661 --> 00:02:13,347 (crunching) 40 00:02:13,371 --> 00:02:16,307 (grunts, sighs) 41 00:02:16,331 --> 00:02:18,767 MAN: It's the look on the kiddies' faces, innit? 42 00:02:18,791 --> 00:02:20,393 That's what does it for me. 43 00:02:20,417 --> 00:02:24,063 - Ah, the look. Yeah, that look. - (man chuckles) 44 00:02:24,087 --> 00:02:26,273 Lasts about two seconds. 45 00:02:26,297 --> 00:02:28,691 As soon as they're finished unwrapping, 46 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,152 they want the next present, 47 00:02:31,176 --> 00:02:33,904 they want the next cool thing. 48 00:02:33,928 --> 00:02:35,905 That's how this world works. 49 00:02:35,929 --> 00:02:37,949 And kids... What kids have become. 50 00:02:37,973 --> 00:02:42,118 They're just like little junkies. 51 00:02:42,142 --> 00:02:44,787 They're little shits. They just demand. 52 00:02:44,811 --> 00:02:46,330 They don't believe. 53 00:02:46,354 --> 00:02:50,041 They just want, crave, consume. 54 00:02:50,065 --> 00:02:52,150 (sighs softly) 55 00:02:55,069 --> 00:02:57,547 Maybe this is my last year. 56 00:02:57,571 --> 00:02:59,632 ♪ ♪ 57 00:02:59,656 --> 00:03:01,825 The last Christmas. 58 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:08,889 Well, I can't stand seeing another Santa in distress. 59 00:03:08,913 --> 00:03:10,057 (belches) 60 00:03:10,081 --> 00:03:11,683 Put his drinks on my tab. 61 00:03:11,707 --> 00:03:13,142 - Okay? - Yeah. 62 00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:15,769 Oh, very merry of you. Okay. 63 00:03:15,793 --> 00:03:18,188 I better get going. 64 00:03:18,212 --> 00:03:20,398 Presents aren't gonna deliver themselves. 65 00:03:20,422 --> 00:03:21,565 (laughter) 66 00:03:21,589 --> 00:03:23,442 Oh, uh... 67 00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:25,318 For your grandson. Save me a trip. 68 00:03:25,342 --> 00:03:27,362 It's, uh, that new video game. 69 00:03:27,386 --> 00:03:30,072 It's Astro Blaster, Blaster Astro. 70 00:03:30,096 --> 00:03:32,074 I-I don't know. 71 00:03:32,098 --> 00:03:33,449 Merry Christmas. (belches) 72 00:03:33,473 --> 00:03:35,952 How'd he know my grandson's name? 73 00:03:35,976 --> 00:03:39,162 - How'd he know I have a grandson? -(door opens) 74 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:43,457 Oi! That door leads to the roof. 75 00:03:43,481 --> 00:03:44,792 Piss head. 76 00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:47,359 Go easy on him. It's Christmas. 77 00:03:49,528 --> 00:03:52,881 Hey! You can't be up here. 78 00:03:52,905 --> 00:03:56,551 If you break your neck, I'm the one... 79 00:03:56,575 --> 00:03:59,077 (panting) 80 00:04:08,876 --> 00:04:10,854 ♪ ♪ 81 00:04:10,878 --> 00:04:12,920 (sleigh bells jingling) 82 00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,400 (sighs) 83 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,842 My God. 84 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,657 It's... 85 00:04:25,681 --> 00:04:27,700 (retching) 86 00:04:27,724 --> 00:04:29,184 beauti... 87 00:04:30,893 --> 00:04:33,413 (gasping) 88 00:04:33,437 --> 00:04:35,480 ♪ ♪ 89 00:04:38,733 --> 00:04:40,984 ("Deck the Halls" playing) 90 00:04:50,867 --> 00:04:53,035 (music ends) 91 00:04:59,207 --> 00:05:00,684 (dog barking nearby) 92 00:05:00,708 --> 00:05:02,393 (sighs) 93 00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:04,294 (rummaging) 94 00:05:05,212 --> 00:05:07,421 (vehicle approaches, horn honks) 95 00:05:10,882 --> 00:05:12,967 (bells jingling) 96 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,198 Hi. Hi, hi, hi. 97 00:05:18,222 --> 00:05:20,556 There she is. Hello, muffin. 98 00:05:21,599 --> 00:05:23,892 Let's go see Grandma. 99 00:05:25,644 --> 00:05:27,038 Ooh. 100 00:05:27,062 --> 00:05:29,313 Merry Christmas. 101 00:05:31,649 --> 00:05:33,209 Merry Christmas, Trudy. 102 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,293 Merry... 103 00:05:34,317 --> 00:05:36,045 Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! 104 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:39,464 Merry Christmas, Daddy, ya filthy animal. 105 00:05:39,488 --> 00:05:40,882 (Trudy chuckling) 106 00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:43,050 She got to stay up late and watch Home Alone. 107 00:05:43,074 --> 00:05:44,134 Uh-huh. 108 00:05:44,158 --> 00:05:47,053 It was so funny. (screams) 109 00:05:47,077 --> 00:05:49,514 - Yep. - That... that hurts. 110 00:05:49,538 --> 00:05:51,056 - All morning. - Okay, um... 111 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,124 Thank you. 112 00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:56,018 For doing this. 113 00:05:56,042 --> 00:05:58,253 I'm not doing it for you. 114 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,023 - It's Christmas! - Yeah! 115 00:06:02,047 --> 00:06:04,257 ♪ ♪ 116 00:06:21,270 --> 00:06:22,914 Merry Christmas, Al. 117 00:06:22,938 --> 00:06:24,749 Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas. 118 00:06:24,773 --> 00:06:26,792 - Mr. Lightstone. - Hey, Al. 119 00:06:26,816 --> 00:06:28,168 Hey, you back there, Tru? 120 00:06:28,192 --> 00:06:29,919 Yeah, I bet you're excited for Christmas. 121 00:06:29,943 --> 00:06:31,629 What did you ask Santa for? 122 00:06:31,653 --> 00:06:33,381 - Not to work on Christmas Eve. - (laughs) 123 00:06:33,405 --> 00:06:34,965 Must've been naughty this year, 124 00:06:34,989 --> 00:06:36,591 - 'cause here I am. - Mm-hmm. 125 00:06:36,615 --> 00:06:38,592 Just make sure you let Santa through the gates later, Al. 126 00:06:38,616 --> 00:06:40,136 - Yeah. - Have a merry one, now. 127 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,138 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, Al. 128 00:06:42,162 --> 00:06:44,180 Merry Christmas, Tru. 129 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,723 - (laughs) Thank you, Al. - Yeah. 130 00:06:45,747 --> 00:06:47,957 ♪ ♪ 131 00:07:03,052 --> 00:07:05,304 ♪ ♪ 132 00:07:06,889 --> 00:07:08,533 (busy chatter) 133 00:07:08,557 --> 00:07:11,309 MAN: I can't remember where the second one is. 134 00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:16,455 MALE VOICE (recorded): Ho, ho, ho, ho. 135 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,206 Merry Christmas. 136 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,292 Hope you're on the nice list. 137 00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:23,043 WOMAN: That doesn't go over there. 138 00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,320 (chatter continues indistinctly) 139 00:07:30,824 --> 00:07:32,426 WOMAN: Excuse me. 140 00:07:32,450 --> 00:07:34,660 (chatter continues indistinctly) 141 00:07:36,661 --> 00:07:38,472 What the hell is this? 142 00:07:38,496 --> 00:07:40,849 You are the worst catering company on the planet. 143 00:07:40,873 --> 00:07:42,851 It's lengthwise, not width. 144 00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:44,727 Unbelievable. 145 00:07:44,751 --> 00:07:47,003 ♪ ♪ 146 00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,092 (watch beeps) 147 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,324 Okay. 148 00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:04,534 Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas. 149 00:08:04,558 --> 00:08:06,494 - Hi. - I'm fine. Thank you so much. 150 00:08:06,518 --> 00:08:09,079 ("The Twelve Days of Christmas" playing) 151 00:08:09,103 --> 00:08:13,106 I'll never get over the fact that you grew up like this. 152 00:08:14,233 --> 00:08:16,692 My therapist says I'll never get over it, either. 153 00:08:17,693 --> 00:08:18,879 I need a drink. 154 00:08:18,903 --> 00:08:20,338 ♪ Two turtledoves ♪ 155 00:08:20,362 --> 00:08:23,424 ♪ And a partridge in a pear tree... ♪ 156 00:08:23,448 --> 00:08:26,700 - (whistle tooting) - Hey, look at that. 157 00:08:35,666 --> 00:08:37,435 Hi, Linda. 158 00:08:37,459 --> 00:08:39,478 - (chuckling): Hey. - How's it going, Alva? 159 00:08:39,502 --> 00:08:41,396 Mm-hmm. You gained weight. 160 00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:44,273 - (coughing) - Looks good on you, though. 161 00:08:44,297 --> 00:08:46,192 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 162 00:08:46,216 --> 00:08:47,901 'Sup, limp dick? 163 00:08:47,925 --> 00:08:49,361 (sighs) 164 00:08:49,385 --> 00:08:51,028 I got great feelings about this Christmas. 165 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,197 - You want to know why? - Yeah. 166 00:08:53,221 --> 00:08:55,198 'Cause I think this is the year 167 00:08:55,222 --> 00:08:56,991 that Mom's gonna kick herself upstairs 168 00:08:57,015 --> 00:08:59,701 and choose one of us to start running the show. 169 00:08:59,725 --> 00:09:04,205 And I got to tell you, Jason, that I'm gunning for your ass. 170 00:09:04,229 --> 00:09:05,623 (clicks tongue) 171 00:09:05,647 --> 00:09:07,416 What would a Lightstone family Christmas be 172 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,209 without groveling and infighting? 173 00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:10,543 (Alva chuckling) 174 00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:12,254 SERVER: Your rosé, ma'am. 175 00:09:12,278 --> 00:09:15,005 Honey, smile. It's Christmas. 176 00:09:15,029 --> 00:09:16,131 Mm. 177 00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:17,715 Good. Good girl. 178 00:09:17,739 --> 00:09:19,283 (chuckles) 179 00:09:20,117 --> 00:09:23,220 I am sorry about my sister. 180 00:09:23,244 --> 00:09:25,722 ♪ Making spirits bright ♪ 181 00:09:25,746 --> 00:09:28,599 ♪ What fun it is to ride and sing... ♪ 182 00:09:28,623 --> 00:09:31,083 It is really nice to see you. 183 00:09:32,918 --> 00:09:35,187 To have you here. 184 00:09:35,211 --> 00:09:38,440 ♪ Jingle all the way... ♪ 185 00:09:38,464 --> 00:09:41,901 Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up on all the hot goss. 186 00:09:41,925 --> 00:09:43,735 Hot goss. Okay. 187 00:09:43,759 --> 00:09:47,531 Um, well, you remember Bert, my sister's pride and joy. 188 00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:51,367 Yo, yo, yo. This is the Bert Locker 189 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:55,245 living that bling life on Christmas Eve. 190 00:09:55,269 --> 00:09:56,830 (laughs, inhales sharply) 191 00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:58,247 Hashtag "blessed." 192 00:09:58,271 --> 00:10:00,791 He just got what I can only assume 193 00:10:00,815 --> 00:10:04,085 will be his first of many sexual harassment accusations. 194 00:10:04,109 --> 00:10:05,752 Mom paid off the school, 195 00:10:05,776 --> 00:10:07,921 and now the gymnasium is named after us. 196 00:10:07,945 --> 00:10:09,923 Of course she did. 197 00:10:09,947 --> 00:10:11,048 What about Tragic Mike? 198 00:10:11,072 --> 00:10:12,842 All I'm saying is, 199 00:10:12,866 --> 00:10:14,510 if I was on one of those planes, 200 00:10:14,534 --> 00:10:16,511 9/11 would've ended with a bunch of terrorists 201 00:10:16,535 --> 00:10:20,264 skydiving over Connecticut without their parachutes. 202 00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,308 - (grunts) Yeah. You like that? - ALVA: Yes. Yes. 203 00:10:22,332 --> 00:10:24,517 - Yeah, I do like it. - Ooh. 204 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,936 - Kiss me in front of my son. - Now, huh? 205 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,479 - Mm... - (Alva chuckles) 206 00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,523 He might actually be a decent actor. 207 00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:33,607 - Hmm. -He's been doing an Oscar-worthy job 208 00:10:33,631 --> 00:10:36,193 - of pretending to find my sister appealing. -(laughs) 209 00:10:36,217 --> 00:10:38,695 Now he wants Mom to fund a film for him. 210 00:10:38,719 --> 00:10:40,113 (laughing) 211 00:10:40,137 --> 00:10:41,613 (indistinct chatter) 212 00:10:41,637 --> 00:10:43,615 - MORGAN: It's Gertrude! - It's Mom. 213 00:10:43,639 --> 00:10:45,658 - Okay, let's do this. - Okay, okay. Come on. 214 00:10:45,682 --> 00:10:47,368 - Come on. Bert, get over here. - No. Mom. Mom! 215 00:10:47,392 --> 00:10:48,619 - Positions. - Game time, buddy. 216 00:10:48,643 --> 00:10:50,454 - Okay. Okay. - This is my good side. 217 00:10:50,478 --> 00:10:52,247 - BERT: I'm busy. -ALVA: We've gone over this! Come on! 218 00:10:52,271 --> 00:10:53,373 MORGAN: Gosh. Okay. 219 00:10:53,397 --> 00:10:54,540 ALVA: Bert, get in the middle. 220 00:10:54,564 --> 00:10:55,791 (sighs): So it begins. 221 00:10:55,815 --> 00:10:57,918 Seriously, come. You know what that means. 222 00:10:57,942 --> 00:11:00,003 Shall we jockey forward? 223 00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,779 No. 224 00:11:02,946 --> 00:11:05,507 No, we can hang back. 225 00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:06,967 Yeah. 226 00:11:06,991 --> 00:11:08,617 Trudy, honey? 227 00:11:10,327 --> 00:11:11,554 Come on over here. 228 00:11:11,578 --> 00:11:13,013 - (growls playfully) - (Trudy chuckles) 229 00:11:13,037 --> 00:11:15,182 Just, like... 230 00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:16,974 GERTRUDE: Threaten 'em or bribe 'em. 231 00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:18,267 This isn't rocket science. 232 00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:19,834 Same shit we always do. 233 00:11:21,335 --> 00:11:22,645 That's what? 234 00:11:22,669 --> 00:11:25,106 That's the best you can do? 235 00:11:25,130 --> 00:11:26,982 Excited to see your grandma? 236 00:11:27,006 --> 00:11:28,317 Listen, you cocksucker. 237 00:11:28,341 --> 00:11:30,276 It's Christmas, so why don't you take 238 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:32,195 your best offer, gift wrap it, 239 00:11:32,219 --> 00:11:35,155 and ram it up your fucking box. 240 00:11:35,179 --> 00:11:36,490 (Alva clears throat) 241 00:11:36,514 --> 00:11:38,824 GERTRUDE: Maybe you don't realize who I am. 242 00:11:38,848 --> 00:11:40,409 Those were Grandma words. You know, forget them. 243 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,244 ALVA: Oh, boy. Look at Mr. Cool back here. 244 00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:44,496 Yeah, what's your angle, man? Hmm? 245 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,123 No angle. I'm not doing anything. 246 00:11:47,147 --> 00:11:48,582 (scoffing): Oh, yeah. 247 00:11:48,606 --> 00:11:50,167 GERTRUDE: No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No! 248 00:11:50,191 --> 00:11:53,211 Don't shit in my mouth and tell me it's chocolate cake. 249 00:11:53,235 --> 00:11:54,504 (chuckles) Grandma's cool. 250 00:11:54,528 --> 00:11:56,797 GERTRUDE: I can make that story go away... 251 00:11:56,821 --> 00:11:58,507 I think your brother's up to something. 252 00:11:58,531 --> 00:12:00,300 No, I just decided to let you guys 253 00:12:00,324 --> 00:12:02,176 have all the fun sucking up to Mom today. 254 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,969 Please. You are King Suck-up. 255 00:12:04,993 --> 00:12:07,013 You named your kid Gertrude. 256 00:12:07,037 --> 00:12:08,390 (Linda scoffs) 257 00:12:08,414 --> 00:12:10,682 Alva, you named your son Bertrude. 258 00:12:10,706 --> 00:12:12,684 Okay. 259 00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:14,394 Sorry, Bert, but that's not a real name. 260 00:12:14,418 --> 00:12:17,230 Sorry, Linda. We can't all be lucky enough to have daughters. 261 00:12:17,254 --> 00:12:19,255 Mom, I can hear you. 262 00:12:20,381 --> 00:12:22,942 You know something we don't. What is it? 263 00:12:22,966 --> 00:12:24,402 No, I don't. I don't. 264 00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:25,653 I got it. Bingo. 265 00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:27,070 I'm onto you, man. Come on! 266 00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,696 - We were just... - MORGAN: Come on, 267 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,948 come on, come on, come on. 268 00:12:29,972 --> 00:12:32,241 - GERTRUDE: You big sack of shit. - Ooh. 269 00:12:32,265 --> 00:12:34,076 No wonder your husband left you. 270 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:36,351 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 271 00:12:37,394 --> 00:12:39,729 Merry Christmas to you, too, Senator. 272 00:12:40,563 --> 00:12:42,332 - Merry Christmas, Mommy. - Merry Christmas. 273 00:12:42,356 --> 00:12:43,667 (chuckling) 274 00:12:43,691 --> 00:12:45,209 LINDA: Merry Christmas. 275 00:12:45,233 --> 00:12:47,986 Why in the hell are you standing all the way back there? 276 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,797 Merry Christmas, Grandma! 277 00:12:50,821 --> 00:12:52,882 - GERTRUDE: Aw. - Little bitch. 278 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,426 Little Gertrude. And how is my favorite granddaughter? 279 00:12:55,450 --> 00:12:57,969 Everybody calls me Trudy now. 280 00:12:57,993 --> 00:12:59,661 Trudy? 281 00:13:00,996 --> 00:13:03,098 - Well, that makes her sound like a whore. -Okay. 282 00:13:03,122 --> 00:13:05,851 Oh, she doesn't even know the meaning of the word. 283 00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:08,185 I'm starving. Let's eat. 284 00:13:08,209 --> 00:13:09,645 ALVA: Great. 285 00:13:09,669 --> 00:13:12,147 And, Mom, I think Gertrude is a beautiful name. 286 00:13:12,171 --> 00:13:14,441 Mm-hmm. I only call her Gertrude. 287 00:13:14,465 --> 00:13:15,732 - Merry Christmas, Gertrude. - Come on, Bertrude. 288 00:13:15,756 --> 00:13:19,486 ♪ When the kids are fast asleep ♪ 289 00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:22,155 ♪ Gently down the stairs we'll creep ♪ 290 00:13:22,179 --> 00:13:23,781 (swallows, gags) 291 00:13:23,805 --> 00:13:26,658 ♪ Then we'll lock and bolt all the doors ♪ 292 00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:30,286 ♪ Just you and me and Santa Claus ♪ 293 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,745 (groans) 294 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,581 ♪ We'll be as quiet as quiet can be ♪ 295 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,875 ♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪ 296 00:13:37,899 --> 00:13:41,670 ♪ We'll be crawling around on all fours ♪ 297 00:13:41,694 --> 00:13:43,463 ♪ Just you and me ♪ 298 00:13:43,487 --> 00:13:46,090 - ♪ And Santa Claus ♪ - (belching) 299 00:13:46,114 --> 00:13:47,716 (whooping) 300 00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:49,783 ♪ ♪ 301 00:13:53,453 --> 00:13:55,429 ♪ For soon will be ♪ 302 00:13:55,453 --> 00:13:57,098 - ♪ That magic time ♪ - (scoffs) 303 00:13:57,122 --> 00:13:59,766 ♪ When we hear that midnight chime ♪ 304 00:13:59,790 --> 00:14:01,560 - (wind whistling) - (urine splattering) 305 00:14:01,584 --> 00:14:03,270 - ♪ When that flying sleigh ♪ - (grunts) 306 00:14:03,294 --> 00:14:05,563 ♪ Finally flies away ♪ 307 00:14:05,587 --> 00:14:08,773 ♪ We'll have a very merry Christmas Day ♪ 308 00:14:08,797 --> 00:14:13,277 ♪ We'll raise a toast to the team with the most ♪ 309 00:14:13,301 --> 00:14:16,614 ♪ The best there ever was ♪ 310 00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:20,617 ♪ You and me and Santa Claus... ♪ 311 00:14:20,641 --> 00:14:23,476 Another fucking Christmas. 312 00:14:25,269 --> 00:14:26,787 (song ends) 313 00:14:26,811 --> 00:14:28,539 TRUDY: I made these all by myself. 314 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:30,124 - JASON: No way. - LINDA: Mm-hmm. 315 00:14:30,148 --> 00:14:32,292 TRUDY: I even made one that looks exactly like Santa. 316 00:14:32,316 --> 00:14:34,818 - Exactly. - JASON (laughs): Yeah. 317 00:14:35,652 --> 00:14:37,171 Santa gets a candy cane, too? 318 00:14:37,195 --> 00:14:38,422 Yeah. 319 00:14:38,446 --> 00:14:39,947 Mm, okay. 320 00:14:41,323 --> 00:14:42,967 It's perfect. 321 00:14:42,991 --> 00:14:44,635 No peeking. 322 00:14:44,659 --> 00:14:47,095 This house has so many chimneys. 323 00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:48,596 (Linda chuckles) 324 00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,640 How will Santa know which one to come down? 325 00:14:50,664 --> 00:14:52,516 Oh, Santa just knows. 326 00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:54,333 Christmas magic. 327 00:14:57,293 --> 00:14:58,979 Honey, what's wrong? 328 00:14:59,003 --> 00:15:02,506 Daddy never took me to see Santa at the mall this year. 329 00:15:03,298 --> 00:15:05,509 LINDA: He didn't. 330 00:15:07,885 --> 00:15:09,887 I am so sorry. 331 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,616 This year has been weird. 332 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:17,327 I never got to tell Santa what I wanted for Christmas. 333 00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,852 Oh, honey. Come here. 334 00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:26,125 You know what? 335 00:15:26,149 --> 00:15:30,337 You go put your pj's on, 336 00:15:30,361 --> 00:15:33,446 and I will be two minutes. 337 00:15:35,115 --> 00:15:37,366 ♪ ♪ 338 00:15:39,243 --> 00:15:41,536 (hushed): Yes! 339 00:15:42,996 --> 00:15:45,391 Okay... 340 00:15:45,415 --> 00:15:48,500 (muttering) 341 00:15:53,337 --> 00:15:55,022 (sighs): Yes. 342 00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:57,048 (paper rustling) 343 00:15:58,882 --> 00:16:00,718 Yes! 344 00:16:02,177 --> 00:16:06,574 Because you have been so good to me and Mommy this year, 345 00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:10,535 we decided that you could have one gift... 346 00:16:10,559 --> 00:16:12,411 (gasps) early! 347 00:16:12,435 --> 00:16:14,895 - Really? - (Jason chuckling) 348 00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:21,025 What is it? 349 00:16:22,943 --> 00:16:26,505 That is a very special walkie-talkie. 350 00:16:26,529 --> 00:16:28,048 It's magic. 351 00:16:28,072 --> 00:16:29,341 - Magic? - Mm-hmm. 352 00:16:29,365 --> 00:16:31,551 What you got right there 353 00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:33,928 is a direct hotline to Santa Claus himself. 354 00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:36,680 - I can talk to Santa? - Oh, yeah. 355 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:40,516 It's just like writing him a letter... but better. 356 00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:41,642 Mm-hmm. 357 00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:44,436 Now, the only thing is, 358 00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:46,813 he might not have time to answer you. 359 00:16:46,837 --> 00:16:48,856 He's delivering a lot of presents tonight. 360 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,190 Mm-hmm. 361 00:16:50,214 --> 00:16:52,799 But he'll hear everything you want to say to him. 362 00:16:57,094 --> 00:16:59,239 (beeps, crackles) 363 00:16:59,263 --> 00:17:01,073 Hello, Santa? 364 00:17:01,097 --> 00:17:04,535 This is Trudy Lightstone. 365 00:17:04,559 --> 00:17:06,578 I hope you're having a nice night. 366 00:17:06,602 --> 00:17:08,747 JASON: Mm. (kissing rapidly) 367 00:17:08,771 --> 00:17:13,524 It's really cold tonight, so don't forget your mittens. 368 00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:17,629 So, I wanted to tell you, Santa, 369 00:17:17,653 --> 00:17:19,421 I was extra good this year, 370 00:17:19,445 --> 00:17:23,615 so I wrote a big list for you with all the stuff I wanted. 371 00:17:24,949 --> 00:17:26,802 But then... 372 00:17:26,826 --> 00:17:30,245 then I realized I don't need any of that. 373 00:17:31,163 --> 00:17:34,874 I really only want one present for Christmas. 374 00:17:36,541 --> 00:17:40,187 I want Mommy and Daddy to make up 375 00:17:40,211 --> 00:17:42,630 so we can be a family again. 376 00:17:43,839 --> 00:17:45,483 Okay. 377 00:17:45,507 --> 00:17:47,676 Good night, Santa. 378 00:17:48,843 --> 00:17:50,969 Good night, Mr. Bunny. 379 00:17:55,181 --> 00:17:57,600 (sighs) 380 00:17:58,475 --> 00:18:00,036 (footsteps squishing) 381 00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:02,520 (groans) 382 00:18:03,396 --> 00:18:05,123 Which one of you did that? 383 00:18:05,147 --> 00:18:06,458 (reindeer grunting) 384 00:18:06,482 --> 00:18:07,792 You can't go two seconds without 385 00:18:07,816 --> 00:18:09,627 crapping on the roof like a bunch of pigeons? 386 00:18:09,651 --> 00:18:11,336 (huffing) 387 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:14,488 So unprofessional. 388 00:18:15,947 --> 00:18:17,049 (sighs) 389 00:18:17,073 --> 00:18:19,784 You know, Rudolph will never do this crap. 390 00:18:20,617 --> 00:18:23,537 - (jingling) - (whooshing) 391 00:18:24,495 --> 00:18:26,473 (sighs, grunts) 392 00:18:26,497 --> 00:18:28,708 ♪ ♪ 393 00:18:33,002 --> 00:18:34,670 Hmm. 394 00:18:38,965 --> 00:18:40,758 Mmm. 395 00:18:45,262 --> 00:18:47,406 (chuckling) 396 00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,682 Mmm, mmm. 397 00:18:50,683 --> 00:18:52,993 Homemade. 398 00:18:53,017 --> 00:18:54,370 Mmm. 399 00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,145 (slurps) 400 00:18:58,230 --> 00:19:00,207 Ugh. 401 00:19:00,231 --> 00:19:01,816 Skim. 402 00:19:12,074 --> 00:19:13,634 Oh, yeah. 403 00:19:13,658 --> 00:19:15,785 That's the stuff. 404 00:19:20,205 --> 00:19:22,123 Mmm. 405 00:19:23,124 --> 00:19:24,852 DuBoi... 406 00:19:24,876 --> 00:19:27,854 - On some prewar shit right there. -(cork pops) 407 00:19:27,878 --> 00:19:30,297 - Good shit. - (cork clatters on floor) 408 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:37,010 ("We Wish You a Merry Christmas" melody plays) 409 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:41,865 (melody ends) 410 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,533 (exhales sharply) Mmm. 411 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,200 That pairs well. 412 00:19:45,224 --> 00:19:47,894 What do we have here? 413 00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:51,897 (sighing) 414 00:20:01,070 --> 00:20:02,988 (chair vibrating) 415 00:20:04,114 --> 00:20:05,799 Oh, yeah. 416 00:20:05,823 --> 00:20:07,909 That's the stuff. 417 00:20:10,702 --> 00:20:12,746 (slurping) 418 00:20:16,832 --> 00:20:19,894 - You know, uh... - (sighs) 419 00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:22,897 Christmas is all right, 420 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:26,590 but you Americans don't celebrate my favorite holiday. 421 00:20:27,424 --> 00:20:29,234 Oh, yeah? What? 422 00:20:29,258 --> 00:20:30,885 Boxing Day. 423 00:20:32,344 --> 00:20:34,238 (glass shatters) 424 00:20:34,262 --> 00:20:36,306 ♪ ♪ 425 00:20:41,226 --> 00:20:43,287 (watch beeping) 426 00:20:43,311 --> 00:20:45,355 (chiming) 427 00:20:50,775 --> 00:20:53,027 (watches chiming) 428 00:20:57,531 --> 00:20:59,782 (watch chiming) 429 00:21:04,118 --> 00:21:05,763 Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here, 430 00:21:05,787 --> 00:21:07,555 live streaming the dream, you know. 431 00:21:07,579 --> 00:21:10,123 They say the richest man... 432 00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:12,893 Say goodbye. 433 00:21:12,917 --> 00:21:14,877 And if you... 434 00:21:16,045 --> 00:21:19,023 Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick. 435 00:21:19,047 --> 00:21:20,691 Damn it! 436 00:21:20,715 --> 00:21:23,276 When he was small, I begged you to beat him. 437 00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:25,260 (gasps softly) 438 00:21:40,772 --> 00:21:42,750 Hey. Merry Christmas. 439 00:21:42,774 --> 00:21:44,417 Or should I say "happy holidays" now? 440 00:21:44,441 --> 00:21:46,461 Right? I mean, it's like, people, make up your minds. 441 00:21:46,485 --> 00:21:48,712 - You know what I'm saying? - Can I help you? 442 00:21:48,736 --> 00:21:50,673 Oh, yeah. I sure hope so. See, uh, 443 00:21:50,697 --> 00:21:52,298 my car broke down a little ways... 444 00:21:52,322 --> 00:21:54,133 Out here? This is a private road. 445 00:21:54,157 --> 00:21:56,134 You're telling me. (chuckles) 446 00:21:56,158 --> 00:21:58,428 It's the first place I've seen for miles. 447 00:21:58,452 --> 00:21:59,721 I think I got frostbite. 448 00:21:59,745 --> 00:22:01,055 Where the hell am I, anyway? 449 00:22:01,079 --> 00:22:02,807 G.T. Lightstone family compound. 450 00:22:02,831 --> 00:22:04,666 I'll call you a tow. 451 00:22:07,001 --> 00:22:09,003 - (silenced gunshot) - (grunts) 452 00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,691 ♪ ♪ 453 00:22:13,715 --> 00:22:15,692 All right, revelers. 454 00:22:15,716 --> 00:22:17,485 (over earpiece): Time to steal Christmas. 455 00:22:17,509 --> 00:22:18,735 Sound off. 456 00:22:18,759 --> 00:22:20,320 Jingle. Check. 457 00:22:20,344 --> 00:22:21,905 Peppermint. Check. 458 00:22:21,929 --> 00:22:23,489 Sugarplum. Check. 459 00:22:23,513 --> 00:22:26,450 Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up. 460 00:22:26,474 --> 00:22:28,243 Candy Cane. Check. 461 00:22:28,267 --> 00:22:30,871 - Go for Frosty. - Go for Tinsel. 462 00:22:30,895 --> 00:22:32,580 Go for Gingerbread. 463 00:22:32,604 --> 00:22:35,541 Are we gonna use these stupid code names all night? 464 00:22:35,565 --> 00:22:37,041 (over earpiece): 'Tis the season. 465 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:40,836 Welcome to your worst Christmas ever. 466 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:44,238 Trudy loves seeing Santa at the mall. 467 00:22:45,071 --> 00:22:46,841 She loves going with her father. 468 00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:48,509 And you should've taken her yesterday, 469 00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:49,885 like you do every Christmas, 470 00:22:49,909 --> 00:22:51,595 but we didn't even hear from you. 471 00:22:51,619 --> 00:22:52,929 Mom put me on a special project. 472 00:22:52,953 --> 00:22:54,346 - It's complicated. - But it's not, 473 00:22:54,370 --> 00:22:56,432 because it keeps happening over and over. 474 00:22:56,456 --> 00:22:59,041 - Your mother forcing herself between us. -You're right. 475 00:23:00,751 --> 00:23:02,793 ♪ ♪ 476 00:23:03,628 --> 00:23:05,981 What if we could give Trudy her Christmas wish? 477 00:23:06,005 --> 00:23:08,065 (scoffs) You're trying to win me back 478 00:23:08,089 --> 00:23:10,735 with a romantic weekend at your mother's? 479 00:23:10,759 --> 00:23:14,094 What if things really changed this time? 480 00:23:15,845 --> 00:23:18,282 We got out from under my mother's thumb. 481 00:23:18,306 --> 00:23:20,074 We'll walk away. 482 00:23:20,098 --> 00:23:22,809 From the company, the family. 483 00:23:25,519 --> 00:23:27,146 Tonight. 484 00:23:27,939 --> 00:23:29,457 What are you up to? 485 00:23:29,481 --> 00:23:32,734 (distant gunfire) 486 00:23:33,984 --> 00:23:35,945 - (rapid gunfire) - (grunts) 487 00:23:39,447 --> 00:23:40,925 (chair vibrating) 488 00:23:40,949 --> 00:23:43,116 - (distant gunfire) - (snorts) 489 00:23:47,036 --> 00:23:48,555 (vibrating stops) 490 00:23:48,579 --> 00:23:50,206 (gunfire continues) 491 00:23:54,751 --> 00:23:57,127 (groaning) 492 00:24:04,591 --> 00:24:06,194 (gunfire continues) 493 00:24:06,218 --> 00:24:08,737 (grunting) 494 00:24:08,761 --> 00:24:10,906 (panting quietly) 495 00:24:10,930 --> 00:24:13,074 (whimpering) 496 00:24:13,098 --> 00:24:14,742 - (Candy Cane yells) - (grunts) 497 00:24:14,766 --> 00:24:16,035 Let's go. 498 00:24:16,059 --> 00:24:18,536 We need to get you out of here. 499 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,288 Mommy, where are you going? 500 00:24:20,312 --> 00:24:22,081 - She's going for the panic room! - What? 501 00:24:22,105 --> 00:24:23,415 - Yes. Go, Bertrude. - Without us? 502 00:24:23,439 --> 00:24:26,108 - (gunfire continues) - (groaning) 503 00:24:28,235 --> 00:24:29,379 (grunts) 504 00:24:29,403 --> 00:24:31,445 ALVA: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 505 00:24:40,327 --> 00:24:41,996 (gunfire) 506 00:24:53,129 --> 00:24:55,065 GERTRUDE: There isn't room for all of us. 507 00:24:55,089 --> 00:24:56,817 She can fit at least two of us. Mom, take me. 508 00:24:56,841 --> 00:24:58,776 - Mom! (stammers) - Oh. Yeah. 509 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,403 M-Mom, can Bert come, too? 510 00:25:00,427 --> 00:25:03,071 - (device beeps) - (whirring) 511 00:25:03,095 --> 00:25:04,322 Okay. Move it or lose it, son. 512 00:25:04,346 --> 00:25:06,031 - Move it! - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 513 00:25:06,055 --> 00:25:08,158 You're supposed to protect us. 514 00:25:08,182 --> 00:25:09,851 We protect the primary asset. 515 00:25:13,812 --> 00:25:14,997 Who the hell are you? 516 00:25:15,021 --> 00:25:17,982 You can call me Mr. Scrooge. 517 00:25:18,733 --> 00:25:20,126 Hilarious. 518 00:25:20,150 --> 00:25:21,484 Get him. 519 00:25:22,110 --> 00:25:24,153 (grunting and groaning) 520 00:25:30,033 --> 00:25:32,451 Bah humbug, motherfucker. 521 00:25:35,787 --> 00:25:37,997 ♪ ♪ 522 00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:44,085 SCROOGE: Hey. Step aside. 523 00:25:45,336 --> 00:25:47,814 Tinsel, Peppermint, sweep upstairs. 524 00:25:47,838 --> 00:25:50,048 I want all the Lightstones together. 525 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,550 Kill anybody else you find. 526 00:25:56,845 --> 00:26:00,347 (panting, whimpering) 527 00:26:02,725 --> 00:26:05,518 Fuck. Fuck, fuck. 528 00:26:06,352 --> 00:26:08,896 LINDA: Trudy, honey, we got to go. 529 00:26:09,855 --> 00:26:11,374 JASON: Wake up, honey. Wake up. 530 00:26:11,398 --> 00:26:14,192 Maybe we can get out the back by the servants' stairs. 531 00:26:17,819 --> 00:26:19,172 (gasps) 532 00:26:19,196 --> 00:26:21,006 (crackles, whistles) 533 00:26:21,030 --> 00:26:23,508 Oh, come on. Not now. Not now. 534 00:26:23,532 --> 00:26:24,634 (crackles, whistles) 535 00:26:24,658 --> 00:26:26,635 Fuck! Fuck! 536 00:26:26,659 --> 00:26:28,179 Mistletoe, gingerbread. 537 00:26:28,203 --> 00:26:30,329 (crackles, whistles) 538 00:26:32,539 --> 00:26:34,290 (gasps) 539 00:26:41,838 --> 00:26:44,298 (banging) 540 00:26:52,387 --> 00:26:53,448 Hey! 541 00:26:53,472 --> 00:26:55,182 (jingling) 542 00:26:56,307 --> 00:26:57,534 Oh. Oh. 543 00:26:57,558 --> 00:26:58,994 (chuckling): Hi. 544 00:26:59,018 --> 00:27:01,454 You got me. 545 00:27:01,478 --> 00:27:04,040 I don't want any trouble, okay? 546 00:27:04,064 --> 00:27:05,749 Downstairs. Now. 547 00:27:05,773 --> 00:27:09,418 Look, mister, I don't want to get involved. 548 00:27:09,442 --> 00:27:11,837 I just... I just have a job to do. 549 00:27:11,861 --> 00:27:13,214 Okay? That's it. 550 00:27:13,238 --> 00:27:15,715 I'm just gonna take my bag, 551 00:27:15,739 --> 00:27:18,550 and I'm just gonna scooch up that chimney. 552 00:27:18,574 --> 00:27:20,052 (both grunt) 553 00:27:20,076 --> 00:27:21,953 Enough talk. Let's go. 554 00:27:22,744 --> 00:27:24,472 You don't want to do this. 555 00:27:24,496 --> 00:27:25,681 What? This? 556 00:27:25,705 --> 00:27:27,390 (both grunt) 557 00:27:27,414 --> 00:27:28,725 Now, move! 558 00:27:28,749 --> 00:27:30,727 - (groaning) - Are you deaf? 559 00:27:30,751 --> 00:27:32,728 Fucking move! 560 00:27:32,752 --> 00:27:33,979 (Tinsel gasps) 561 00:27:34,003 --> 00:27:36,213 (grunting) 562 00:27:39,675 --> 00:27:41,860 (snorting, grunting) 563 00:27:41,884 --> 00:27:43,529 (rapid hoofbeats) 564 00:27:43,553 --> 00:27:45,404 No, no, no. 565 00:27:45,428 --> 00:27:48,574 No! Wait! 566 00:27:48,598 --> 00:27:49,908 Wait. 567 00:27:49,932 --> 00:27:51,576 Wait! Don't go! 568 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,476 Come back! 569 00:27:56,938 --> 00:27:59,189 (grunting) 570 00:28:01,150 --> 00:28:04,044 (both yelling) 571 00:28:04,068 --> 00:28:06,296 (grunting and groaning) 572 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,697 - (sizzling) - (screaming) 573 00:28:12,825 --> 00:28:14,427 (steam hissing) 574 00:28:14,451 --> 00:28:16,595 (groaning) 575 00:28:16,619 --> 00:28:18,663 (both yelling, grunting) 576 00:28:23,834 --> 00:28:26,085 (groaning) 577 00:28:30,839 --> 00:28:33,175 (crackling, whistling) 578 00:28:35,217 --> 00:28:38,303 (grunting and groaning) 579 00:28:51,605 --> 00:28:54,316 (strained grunting) 580 00:28:58,485 --> 00:29:00,653 (screaming) 581 00:29:03,823 --> 00:29:06,408 (yells) 582 00:29:08,534 --> 00:29:10,286 Oh, fuck! 583 00:29:11,662 --> 00:29:13,472 (grunts) 584 00:29:13,496 --> 00:29:16,499 (coughs, groans) 585 00:29:17,833 --> 00:29:20,044 (groaning) 586 00:29:34,388 --> 00:29:35,865 Oh, shit. 587 00:29:35,889 --> 00:29:38,141 (wind whistling) 588 00:29:43,853 --> 00:29:46,081 (frustrated grunt) 589 00:29:46,105 --> 00:29:48,690 (panting, gasping) 590 00:29:57,197 --> 00:30:01,034 Damn chickenshit reindeer leave me here to die. 591 00:30:09,457 --> 00:30:12,685 (to tune of "Silent Night"): ♪ Violent night ♪ 592 00:30:12,709 --> 00:30:15,771 ♪ Gory night ♪ 593 00:30:15,795 --> 00:30:17,940 ♪ All is calm ♪ 594 00:30:17,964 --> 00:30:22,217 ♪ If all doesn't want to get shot in the fucking head. ♪ 595 00:30:23,009 --> 00:30:24,361 GERTRUDE: Cute. 596 00:30:24,385 --> 00:30:27,513 Do you have any idea who you're fucking with? 597 00:30:29,555 --> 00:30:30,824 (groaning) 598 00:30:30,848 --> 00:30:33,701 I know exactly who I'm fucking with. 599 00:30:33,725 --> 00:30:35,828 Oh, wait, wait. Did you actually think 600 00:30:35,852 --> 00:30:37,371 that I spent months 601 00:30:37,395 --> 00:30:40,040 planning a complex break-in to the most secure 602 00:30:40,064 --> 00:30:41,666 private residence in the country 603 00:30:41,690 --> 00:30:43,417 and I didn't know who lived here? 604 00:30:43,441 --> 00:30:45,002 Well, you're wrong. 605 00:30:45,026 --> 00:30:47,963 'Cause your staff are dead. 606 00:30:47,987 --> 00:30:50,089 - Your security are dead. - (grunts) 607 00:30:50,113 --> 00:30:53,408 Now, sit down and shut the fuck up! 608 00:30:55,242 --> 00:30:57,244 (Trudy screams) 609 00:31:01,247 --> 00:31:03,790 ♪ ♪ 610 00:31:21,512 --> 00:31:23,556 Oh, fuck. 611 00:31:26,433 --> 00:31:27,743 We planned it. It's all right. 612 00:31:27,767 --> 00:31:29,370 It'll be solved in a couple minutes. 613 00:31:29,394 --> 00:31:30,912 Better be solved. 614 00:31:30,936 --> 00:31:33,290 So much like a scene from my movie Dark Ransom. 615 00:31:33,314 --> 00:31:34,772 Oh, my God. 616 00:31:35,940 --> 00:31:37,418 If they didn't have guns, 617 00:31:37,442 --> 00:31:39,460 I could take out three, maybe four of them. 618 00:31:39,484 --> 00:31:41,587 ALVA: Try all of them. 619 00:31:41,611 --> 00:31:44,214 Ew, Mom. Yuck. 620 00:31:44,238 --> 00:31:46,008 If you'd really done your research, you'd know 621 00:31:46,032 --> 00:31:48,825 that my brother Rory was kidnapped in the '70s. 622 00:31:49,701 --> 00:31:52,304 But my father never called the police. 623 00:31:52,328 --> 00:31:54,806 Dad sent in our own private extraction team, 624 00:31:54,830 --> 00:31:58,392 and Rory was home safe and sound a week later. 625 00:31:58,416 --> 00:32:02,061 And the kidnappers were never found. 626 00:32:02,085 --> 00:32:04,171 If you get me. 627 00:32:05,713 --> 00:32:07,190 I know. 628 00:32:07,214 --> 00:32:09,900 I know all about your extraction team 629 00:32:09,924 --> 00:32:11,986 that you affectionately call "the Kill Squad" 630 00:32:12,010 --> 00:32:13,778 behind closed doors. 631 00:32:13,802 --> 00:32:15,697 I also know that they're on their way 632 00:32:15,721 --> 00:32:17,699 and how long it's gonna take 'em to get here. 633 00:32:17,723 --> 00:32:20,617 I even know their credit ratings and their dick sizes. 634 00:32:20,641 --> 00:32:22,286 If you get me. 635 00:32:22,310 --> 00:32:24,454 Then you should also know you're already dead. 636 00:32:24,478 --> 00:32:26,289 We don't do ransoms. 637 00:32:26,313 --> 00:32:28,915 Again, I know. I know. 638 00:32:28,939 --> 00:32:30,917 See, I know a lot, Gertrude. 639 00:32:30,941 --> 00:32:32,668 I really do. 640 00:32:32,692 --> 00:32:35,755 Like the fact that you have 300 million in U.S. dollars 641 00:32:35,779 --> 00:32:37,881 sitting in your personal vault downstairs. 642 00:32:37,905 --> 00:32:40,133 - The fuck? - SCROOGE: That's right. 643 00:32:40,157 --> 00:32:42,885 300 million that the U.S. government 644 00:32:42,909 --> 00:32:46,346 gave Lightstone to quietly distribute in the Middle East 645 00:32:46,370 --> 00:32:48,014 to all the worst people, 646 00:32:48,038 --> 00:32:52,184 to grease the wheels and keep that sweet oil flowing. 647 00:32:52,208 --> 00:32:56,771 300 million that... oops... Disappeared in the fog of war. 648 00:32:56,795 --> 00:32:59,981 Except it didn't really disappear, did it, Gerty? 649 00:33:00,005 --> 00:33:01,316 'Cause you stole it. 650 00:33:01,340 --> 00:33:02,900 Did you know about this? 651 00:33:02,924 --> 00:33:04,360 SCROOGE: Man, this family. 652 00:33:04,384 --> 00:33:07,528 This moneygrubbing family. 653 00:33:07,552 --> 00:33:09,405 Clinging desperately to your wealth, 654 00:33:09,429 --> 00:33:11,823 when your poor employees don't even have enough coal 655 00:33:11,847 --> 00:33:13,700 to keep Tiny Tim warm. 656 00:33:13,724 --> 00:33:16,869 What is it with you and all this Christmas shit? 657 00:33:16,893 --> 00:33:18,662 Talk all you want. 658 00:33:18,686 --> 00:33:20,497 You'll never get in the vault. 659 00:33:20,521 --> 00:33:24,000 Oh, oh, oh, because when you-you hit the panic button, 660 00:33:24,024 --> 00:33:25,667 it reset the combination? 661 00:33:25,691 --> 00:33:29,361 I keep telling you, I know. 662 00:33:30,278 --> 00:33:32,531 ♪ ♪ 663 00:33:34,156 --> 00:33:37,010 SCROOGE: This is what breaking into a vault has turned into? 664 00:33:37,034 --> 00:33:41,680 Remember when you just had to drill holes and blow shit up? 665 00:33:41,704 --> 00:33:43,348 I don't know, maybe I'm getting old, 666 00:33:43,372 --> 00:33:44,849 but there was something romantic about that. 667 00:33:44,873 --> 00:33:47,101 CANDY CANE (over radio): Boss, you copy? 668 00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:49,061 I'm kind of busy here. 669 00:33:49,085 --> 00:33:51,545 You're gonna want to see this. 670 00:34:00,885 --> 00:34:02,530 Maybe he fell. 671 00:34:02,554 --> 00:34:03,948 You rappel down buildings with him. 672 00:34:03,972 --> 00:34:06,390 You gonna tell me he just fell out a window? 673 00:34:07,224 --> 00:34:09,201 All right, look lively, gang. 674 00:34:09,225 --> 00:34:10,977 We got a gopher. 675 00:34:26,405 --> 00:34:27,882 LINDA: You know what? 676 00:34:27,906 --> 00:34:32,052 Um, I think Mr. Bunny wants to go to sleep. 677 00:34:32,076 --> 00:34:34,054 So, let's tuck him in. 678 00:34:34,078 --> 00:34:35,704 Okay? 679 00:34:36,872 --> 00:34:38,582 It's gonna be okay. 680 00:34:40,749 --> 00:34:42,793 ♪ ♪ 681 00:34:52,468 --> 00:34:54,987 Hello? Santa? 682 00:34:55,011 --> 00:34:56,971 Are you there? 683 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,724 (panting) 684 00:35:02,808 --> 00:35:04,560 Shit. 685 00:35:06,936 --> 00:35:08,664 (radio crackles) 686 00:35:08,688 --> 00:35:11,291 (over radio): This is Candy Cane at checkpoint three. 687 00:35:11,315 --> 00:35:13,001 (gasps) Oh, shit. 688 00:35:13,025 --> 00:35:14,793 Shit. Shit. Shit. 689 00:35:14,817 --> 00:35:16,861 (panting) 690 00:35:17,987 --> 00:35:19,905 Video game. 691 00:35:21,072 --> 00:35:22,383 Video game. 692 00:35:22,407 --> 00:35:24,593 Didn't anybody ask for a bat or a sword 693 00:35:24,617 --> 00:35:27,745 - or Molotov cocktails? - (door opens) 694 00:35:36,251 --> 00:35:37,960 (whispers): Wait. 695 00:35:44,382 --> 00:35:46,634 ♪ ♪ 696 00:35:51,095 --> 00:35:52,698 (grunts) 697 00:35:52,722 --> 00:35:54,366 CHILD'S VOICE (recorded): Mommy, I love you. 698 00:35:54,390 --> 00:35:55,909 ("¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?" by Toni Stante playing) 699 00:35:55,933 --> 00:35:57,785 Poetry book. 700 00:35:57,809 --> 00:36:00,245 Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck! 701 00:36:00,269 --> 00:36:01,830 (grunting) 702 00:36:01,854 --> 00:36:05,458 - ♪ Mamacita ♪ - ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 703 00:36:05,482 --> 00:36:08,126 - ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ - ♪ Mamacita ♪ 704 00:36:08,150 --> 00:36:10,253 - (grunts, chokes) - ♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 705 00:36:10,277 --> 00:36:12,796 - ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ - ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh... ♪ 706 00:36:12,820 --> 00:36:14,381 - (grunts) - (gun clicks) 707 00:36:14,405 --> 00:36:16,342 Safety's on, dipshit. 708 00:36:16,366 --> 00:36:17,967 (grunting continues) 709 00:36:17,991 --> 00:36:21,345 - ♪ Mamacita ♪ - ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 710 00:36:21,369 --> 00:36:23,722 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 711 00:36:23,746 --> 00:36:25,348 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 712 00:36:25,372 --> 00:36:27,141 ♪ I look for him because ♪ 713 00:36:27,165 --> 00:36:29,101 Wait. Hang on. Hang on. 714 00:36:29,125 --> 00:36:30,477 ♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪ 715 00:36:30,501 --> 00:36:33,063 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Look. 716 00:36:33,087 --> 00:36:34,480 I don't want to kill you. 717 00:36:34,504 --> 00:36:35,940 (chuckles) 718 00:36:35,964 --> 00:36:38,442 (laughing) 719 00:36:38,466 --> 00:36:42,237 Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard. 720 00:36:42,261 --> 00:36:44,345 Eh? 721 00:36:44,887 --> 00:36:46,907 Santa... 722 00:36:46,931 --> 00:36:48,950 I'm gonna rip your fucking balls off. 723 00:36:48,974 --> 00:36:51,743 (both yelling) 724 00:36:51,767 --> 00:36:53,245 (grunting with effort) 725 00:36:53,269 --> 00:36:56,288 ♪ I hope he won't forget to crack his castanets ♪ 726 00:36:56,312 --> 00:36:59,833 ♪ And to his reindeer say ♪ 727 00:36:59,857 --> 00:37:02,418 ♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen, oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪ 728 00:37:02,442 --> 00:37:04,337 Oh, shit. (grunts) 729 00:37:04,361 --> 00:37:05,671 (pained grunting) 730 00:37:05,695 --> 00:37:07,381 (machine beeping) 731 00:37:07,405 --> 00:37:10,007 - ♪ Mamacita ♪ - ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 732 00:37:10,031 --> 00:37:12,343 ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ 733 00:37:12,367 --> 00:37:13,969 (screams) 734 00:37:13,993 --> 00:37:16,846 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 735 00:37:16,870 --> 00:37:18,639 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 736 00:37:18,663 --> 00:37:20,391 ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ 737 00:37:20,415 --> 00:37:22,351 ♪ Christmas Eve ♪ 738 00:37:22,375 --> 00:37:25,186 ♪ ♪ 739 00:37:25,210 --> 00:37:26,771 (grunts fiercely) 740 00:37:26,795 --> 00:37:29,547 (screaming, groaning) 741 00:37:30,548 --> 00:37:31,691 (pained yelling) 742 00:37:31,715 --> 00:37:33,317 ♪ I hope he won't forget ♪ 743 00:37:33,341 --> 00:37:34,902 ♪ To crack his castanets ♪ 744 00:37:34,926 --> 00:37:38,780 - (screams, grunts) - ♪ And to his reindeer say ♪ 745 00:37:38,804 --> 00:37:42,741 ♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen, oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪ 746 00:37:42,765 --> 00:37:46,703 ♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪ 747 00:37:46,727 --> 00:37:49,663 - ♪ Mamacita ♪ - ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 748 00:37:49,687 --> 00:37:52,207 ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ 749 00:37:52,231 --> 00:37:53,375 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 750 00:37:53,399 --> 00:37:55,376 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 751 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,086 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 752 00:37:57,110 --> 00:38:00,630 - ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ - ♪ Christmas Eve ♪ 753 00:38:00,654 --> 00:38:03,549 ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ 754 00:38:03,573 --> 00:38:05,217 ♪ Mamacita ♪ 755 00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:07,468 - ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ - ♪ Mamacita. ♪ 756 00:38:07,492 --> 00:38:09,554 - (yells) - (screaming in pain) 757 00:38:09,578 --> 00:38:10,930 (song ends) 758 00:38:10,954 --> 00:38:13,914 (Frosty screaming hysterically) 759 00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:19,586 (whimpers, growls) 760 00:38:21,378 --> 00:38:23,130 (whimpering) 761 00:38:25,006 --> 00:38:26,633 (gasping) 762 00:38:31,261 --> 00:38:33,638 - (electrical crackling) - (sputtering) 763 00:38:45,147 --> 00:38:47,249 - (grunts) - (steam hissing) 764 00:38:47,273 --> 00:38:49,126 (chuckles) 765 00:38:49,150 --> 00:38:51,461 Ah, God. 766 00:38:51,485 --> 00:38:53,195 Whew. 767 00:38:54,237 --> 00:38:57,174 Whew. Whew. 768 00:38:57,198 --> 00:38:59,259 (over radio): This is Candy Cane checking in. 769 00:38:59,283 --> 00:39:00,968 Compound is clear and secured. 770 00:39:00,992 --> 00:39:03,095 - (radio crackling, beeping) - (grunting) 771 00:39:03,119 --> 00:39:05,180 SCROOGE: Copy. What's the status on the Kill Squad? 772 00:39:05,204 --> 00:39:06,848 (coughing) 773 00:39:06,872 --> 00:39:08,599 GINGERBREAD: Kill Squad won't be here for two hours. 774 00:39:08,623 --> 00:39:11,477 So we're doing good. The outer seal's already been breached. 775 00:39:11,501 --> 00:39:14,103 Is there a 911 thing on here? 776 00:39:14,127 --> 00:39:16,606 (whimpers) My... 777 00:39:16,630 --> 00:39:18,565 Am I doing that correct? 778 00:39:18,589 --> 00:39:19,900 Hello? 779 00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:21,859 Hello, can anybody hear me? 780 00:39:21,883 --> 00:39:24,445 TRUDY: Can you hear me, Santa? 781 00:39:24,469 --> 00:39:26,279 ♪ ♪ 782 00:39:26,303 --> 00:39:27,530 Hello? 783 00:39:27,554 --> 00:39:29,139 Santa? 784 00:39:32,308 --> 00:39:34,060 Yeah, this is Santa. 785 00:39:36,812 --> 00:39:39,480 I hope I'm not bothering you. 786 00:39:40,856 --> 00:39:43,734 Daddy said you were very busy tonight. 787 00:39:45,485 --> 00:39:47,380 I'm... 788 00:39:47,404 --> 00:39:49,589 I'm on a break. 789 00:39:49,613 --> 00:39:51,824 Who-who am I speaking to? 790 00:39:54,242 --> 00:39:56,095 My name is Trudy Lightstone, 791 00:39:56,119 --> 00:39:59,555 and I've been very good this year. 792 00:39:59,579 --> 00:40:01,473 (grunts) Trudy... 793 00:40:01,497 --> 00:40:03,684 (panting) 794 00:40:03,708 --> 00:40:05,835 Trudy Lightstone. 795 00:40:09,254 --> 00:40:10,879 (chuckles) 796 00:40:14,675 --> 00:40:16,860 Yeah, Trudy. 797 00:40:16,884 --> 00:40:19,237 You're on my nice list. 798 00:40:19,261 --> 00:40:21,805 You've been a very good girl this year. 799 00:40:23,348 --> 00:40:25,558 Where are you now, Trudy? 800 00:40:26,809 --> 00:40:29,620 TRUDY: I'm in a big room with all my relatives. 801 00:40:29,644 --> 00:40:33,021 There's two bad men with guns watching us. 802 00:40:35,607 --> 00:40:37,292 SANTA: Oh, no. Six left. 803 00:40:37,316 --> 00:40:39,652 TRUDY: Are you gonna help us, Santa? 804 00:40:40,778 --> 00:40:42,755 Yeah. Of course I'm gonna help you. 805 00:40:42,779 --> 00:40:45,466 I'm gonna... I'm gonna get you out of there. 806 00:40:45,490 --> 00:40:49,076 Take all these bad guys on my naughty list... 807 00:40:49,952 --> 00:40:52,430 I'm gonna take a lump of coal, 808 00:40:52,454 --> 00:40:56,391 each and every one of them, and shove it straight up... 809 00:40:56,415 --> 00:40:57,708 The ass. 810 00:41:00,543 --> 00:41:02,062 Well, I mean, come on, sweetie. 811 00:41:02,086 --> 00:41:05,046 We want to keep you on the nice list, you know. 812 00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:08,966 Sorry. Can I say "butthole," then? 813 00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:11,236 I mean, it's borderline. 814 00:41:11,260 --> 00:41:12,862 How about "anus"? 815 00:41:12,886 --> 00:41:17,198 (sighs) Technically, yes, uh, "anus" is the tech... 816 00:41:17,222 --> 00:41:19,033 Okay, look, uh, Tru... uh, Trudy. 817 00:41:19,057 --> 00:41:21,785 I got to call for help, and the phone lines are down. 818 00:41:21,809 --> 00:41:24,455 You probably know this house better than anybody. 819 00:41:24,479 --> 00:41:26,372 You got any suggestions? 820 00:41:26,396 --> 00:41:28,023 I have an idea. 821 00:41:30,274 --> 00:41:32,836 All right, you're telling me there's a goddamn Santa Claus 822 00:41:32,860 --> 00:41:34,778 running around here? 823 00:41:37,947 --> 00:41:39,966 Okay, well, he looks jolly as fuck, 824 00:41:39,990 --> 00:41:41,509 but who the hell is he? 825 00:41:41,533 --> 00:41:43,719 There's no Santa listed on the employee manifest. 826 00:41:43,743 --> 00:41:45,053 Yeah, there's more. 827 00:41:45,077 --> 00:41:46,764 Frosty hasn't checked in. I can't reach him. 828 00:41:46,788 --> 00:41:48,723 All right, keep trying. 829 00:41:48,747 --> 00:41:51,392 ♪ ♪ 830 00:41:51,416 --> 00:41:52,934 All right, it's official. 831 00:41:52,958 --> 00:41:54,853 We got a gopher on the loose, and he's dangerous. 832 00:41:54,877 --> 00:41:56,270 Watch your backs. 833 00:41:56,294 --> 00:41:58,338 ♪ ♪ 834 00:42:01,256 --> 00:42:04,009 Al? Al? 835 00:42:10,222 --> 00:42:12,098 Oh, shit. 836 00:42:18,187 --> 00:42:19,747 (clicking) 837 00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:21,415 Oh, shit! 838 00:42:21,439 --> 00:42:24,775 SCROOGE (over radio): Frosty, what's your status? 839 00:42:28,236 --> 00:42:30,279 Frosty, sound off. 840 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,157 Uh, Frosty? 841 00:42:35,450 --> 00:42:36,885 Is-is that, uh... 842 00:42:36,909 --> 00:42:38,804 is that the naughty guy I met in the basement? 843 00:42:38,828 --> 00:42:40,513 Your-your friend is dead. 844 00:42:40,537 --> 00:42:43,766 Uh, he got a star in his face, then his head caught on fire. 845 00:42:43,790 --> 00:42:45,683 It's a long story. 846 00:42:45,707 --> 00:42:48,520 Oh. 847 00:42:48,544 --> 00:42:50,687 Is this... is this our Santy? 848 00:42:50,711 --> 00:42:53,606 Is this our... our Santy Claus? 849 00:42:53,630 --> 00:42:55,215 Yeah, it is. 850 00:42:56,007 --> 00:42:57,902 To whom am I speaking? 851 00:42:57,926 --> 00:42:59,903 Well, for tonight, I'm Mr. Scrooge. 852 00:42:59,927 --> 00:43:03,823 Now, what is it that you want exactly, Santa? 853 00:43:03,847 --> 00:43:06,367 I want you to put down your weapons, 854 00:43:06,391 --> 00:43:09,285 I want you to let this family go, 855 00:43:09,309 --> 00:43:11,162 and then I want to find my reindeer, 856 00:43:11,186 --> 00:43:13,688 and I want to continue delivering my presents. 857 00:43:16,439 --> 00:43:17,959 Are you fucking with me? 858 00:43:17,983 --> 00:43:20,252 All right, who the hell are you really, huh? 859 00:43:20,276 --> 00:43:22,879 Some security guard who's watched too many action flicks? 860 00:43:22,903 --> 00:43:25,339 Some loser ex-cop stuck in a mall 861 00:43:25,363 --> 00:43:27,591 playing dress-up with fat kids pissing on your lap? 862 00:43:27,615 --> 00:43:29,008 Stop me when I get it right. 863 00:43:29,032 --> 00:43:31,302 It's a little more complicated than that. 864 00:43:31,326 --> 00:43:32,929 Not to me, it's not. 865 00:43:32,953 --> 00:43:34,930 'Cause I want to make it my personal mission, 866 00:43:34,954 --> 00:43:39,267 my holiday to-do list, to find you and to end you 867 00:43:39,291 --> 00:43:42,936 and to wipe my ass with you and this whole fucking holiday. 868 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,480 That's what I want for Christmas, Santa. 869 00:43:45,504 --> 00:43:49,608 That is a terrible thing to want for Christmas. 870 00:43:49,632 --> 00:43:53,385 But maybe you and I should discuss that in person. 871 00:43:54,678 --> 00:43:57,346 Santa Claus is coming to town. 872 00:43:59,181 --> 00:44:00,741 (sighs) 873 00:44:00,765 --> 00:44:03,018 (trickling) 874 00:44:08,730 --> 00:44:10,189 Shit. 875 00:44:20,031 --> 00:44:21,341 All right, who did you hire 876 00:44:21,365 --> 00:44:24,010 to play Santa at your Christmas party, huh? 877 00:44:24,034 --> 00:44:26,053 - (gasping, coughing) - I said, who's playing Santa 878 00:44:26,077 --> 00:44:27,512 at your fucked-up Christmas party? 879 00:44:27,536 --> 00:44:30,432 (gasping, straining): I didn't hire a Santa. 880 00:44:30,456 --> 00:44:33,392 I never have a Santa. It's tacky. 881 00:44:33,416 --> 00:44:34,768 SCROOGE: So, who is he? 882 00:44:34,792 --> 00:44:37,604 ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride... ♪ 883 00:44:37,628 --> 00:44:40,480 Huh? Who is he? 884 00:44:40,504 --> 00:44:42,024 Somebody better start talking, 885 00:44:42,048 --> 00:44:45,109 or I'm gonna bash her brains in with this... 886 00:44:45,133 --> 00:44:49,720 Damn, Gertrude. You really got a thing for nutcrackers, huh? 887 00:44:50,888 --> 00:44:54,742 So, I'm gonna torture everyone in your family 888 00:44:54,766 --> 00:44:57,827 until you tell me who's running around your mansion 889 00:44:57,851 --> 00:45:00,580 playing Santa and fucking with my shit. 890 00:45:00,604 --> 00:45:02,581 And who should I pick first? 891 00:45:02,605 --> 00:45:03,999 Should I go by age? 892 00:45:04,023 --> 00:45:05,667 - (Trudy whimpers) - LINDA: Shh. 893 00:45:05,691 --> 00:45:07,335 Or should I go by IQ? 894 00:45:07,359 --> 00:45:10,795 Pick Jason. He's my mom's favorite. 895 00:45:10,819 --> 00:45:12,839 - Yep. Him. - The one in the sweater. 896 00:45:12,863 --> 00:45:15,215 All right. Jason Lightstone it is. 897 00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:16,467 - The number one son. - No. 898 00:45:16,491 --> 00:45:17,968 Wait, wait, wait. No, we don't need... 899 00:45:17,992 --> 00:45:19,385 We don't need to do that. No, it's okay. 900 00:45:19,409 --> 00:45:21,554 No. No, no, no. We don't need to do this. 901 00:45:21,578 --> 00:45:22,764 No. No, no, no, no. 902 00:45:22,788 --> 00:45:24,264 Don't, don't, don't. 903 00:45:24,288 --> 00:45:26,558 - No, don't... Put it... Don't... No. -(muttering) 904 00:45:26,582 --> 00:45:28,768 - No, no, no, no. No, no. - Give me this fucking... 905 00:45:28,792 --> 00:45:31,812 - (Jason whimpers, screams) - (snaps) 906 00:45:31,836 --> 00:45:33,313 - (grunts) - (groaning) 907 00:45:33,337 --> 00:45:35,607 - (whimpering gasp) - (screams) 908 00:45:35,631 --> 00:45:37,775 (groaning) 909 00:45:37,799 --> 00:45:40,486 I'm telling you, no one hired a Santa. 910 00:45:40,510 --> 00:45:42,111 All right, all right, all right. You're right. 911 00:45:42,135 --> 00:45:43,154 You're right. Let's stop it. Let's stop it. 912 00:45:43,178 --> 00:45:45,281 What are we doing here? Come on. 913 00:45:45,305 --> 00:45:48,367 What are we, amateurs? We're half-assing this. 914 00:45:48,391 --> 00:45:51,518 Come on. It's not called a finger cracker. 915 00:45:52,727 --> 00:45:54,663 Okay, Candy Cane. 916 00:45:54,687 --> 00:45:56,039 Stick one of his bozaks in there. 917 00:45:56,063 --> 00:45:57,248 I'm not touching his balls. 918 00:45:57,272 --> 00:45:58,958 What, are you a princess all of a sudden? 919 00:45:58,982 --> 00:46:00,584 I've seen you scoop out brains before. 920 00:46:00,608 --> 00:46:02,044 CANDY CANE: You want me to scoop his brains out, 921 00:46:02,068 --> 00:46:03,586 I'll scoop his brains out right now, 922 00:46:03,610 --> 00:46:04,754 but I'm not touching his junk. 923 00:46:04,778 --> 00:46:06,172 I don't care who does it. 924 00:46:06,196 --> 00:46:07,756 I better be looking at flat balls, 925 00:46:07,780 --> 00:46:09,007 like, in three seconds. 926 00:46:09,031 --> 00:46:11,593 I'll do it. 927 00:46:11,617 --> 00:46:12,885 Krampus. Perfect. 928 00:46:12,909 --> 00:46:14,261 Oh, not that guy. Not that guy. 929 00:46:14,285 --> 00:46:15,763 That's what I love about sociopaths. 930 00:46:15,787 --> 00:46:17,055 Always up for trying new things. 931 00:46:17,079 --> 00:46:18,390 You don't need to do this, okay? 932 00:46:18,414 --> 00:46:20,308 No, it's all right. Um... Oh, no. 933 00:46:20,332 --> 00:46:22,851 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 934 00:46:22,875 --> 00:46:25,395 (panting): Oh, God. Oh, my God. 935 00:46:25,419 --> 00:46:26,938 (Jason whimpers) 936 00:46:26,962 --> 00:46:28,564 KRAMPUS: Put your nuts in. 937 00:46:28,588 --> 00:46:29,940 Yummy, yummy. 938 00:46:29,964 --> 00:46:32,693 Stop hurting my daddy... 939 00:46:32,717 --> 00:46:35,135 or Santa will get mad. 940 00:46:35,969 --> 00:46:38,155 Ah, what a cutie. 941 00:46:38,179 --> 00:46:40,240 So, what do we know about Santa, little one? 942 00:46:40,264 --> 00:46:42,158 She doesn't know anything about Santa. 943 00:46:42,182 --> 00:46:43,034 (groans) 944 00:46:43,058 --> 00:46:44,785 He wasn't asking you. 945 00:46:44,809 --> 00:46:47,204 She's playing make-believe. 946 00:46:47,228 --> 00:46:49,455 She's pretending to talk to Santa. 947 00:46:49,479 --> 00:46:51,457 It's not pretend. Santa's my friend, 948 00:46:51,481 --> 00:46:53,375 and he said he's going to save us. 949 00:46:53,399 --> 00:46:54,459 JASON: No. 950 00:46:54,483 --> 00:46:56,711 - And beat you up. - SCROOGE: Oh, is he? 951 00:46:56,735 --> 00:46:59,255 I bet he'd come out of hiding if you asked him to, huh? 952 00:46:59,279 --> 00:47:00,839 What do you say you come with me 953 00:47:00,863 --> 00:47:03,091 - and we play a little game with him, huh? -No, no, no. 954 00:47:03,115 --> 00:47:04,467 Trudy, come on. Tell him the truth now. 955 00:47:04,491 --> 00:47:06,301 - You aren't talking to Santa. - Yes, I am. 956 00:47:06,325 --> 00:47:07,636 No, you're not. Come on, now. 957 00:47:07,660 --> 00:47:10,471 - Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy, Santa isn't real! 958 00:47:10,495 --> 00:47:11,723 (gasps) 959 00:47:11,747 --> 00:47:13,165 (sighs) 960 00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:18,686 ♪ ♪ 961 00:47:18,710 --> 00:47:20,503 I'm sorry, honey. 962 00:47:21,463 --> 00:47:23,648 Santa's just a thing adults tell kids 963 00:47:23,672 --> 00:47:25,883 to make them feel better, okay? 964 00:47:27,884 --> 00:47:29,987 Your mommy and I give you the presents, 965 00:47:30,011 --> 00:47:31,988 and we say they're from Santa. 966 00:47:32,012 --> 00:47:33,156 (Jason sighs) 967 00:47:33,180 --> 00:47:34,741 He's not coming to save us. 968 00:47:34,765 --> 00:47:36,950 He doesn't exist. 969 00:47:36,974 --> 00:47:39,393 It's all made-up. 970 00:47:40,935 --> 00:47:42,705 - Really? - SCROOGE: Aw. 971 00:47:42,729 --> 00:47:45,540 What a way to find out that there's no Santa. 972 00:47:45,564 --> 00:47:47,584 Hey, let's come back Easter and ruin the Easter Bunny 973 00:47:47,608 --> 00:47:49,752 - for her, too, huh? - (Krampus chuckling) 974 00:47:49,776 --> 00:47:51,170 - LINDA: Trudy! - Come back here! 975 00:47:51,194 --> 00:47:52,629 - Stop her! - Trudy! -Hey! 976 00:47:52,653 --> 00:47:54,130 CANDY CANE: You idiots, stay at your posts. 977 00:47:54,154 --> 00:47:55,590 LINDA: Trudy! 978 00:47:55,614 --> 00:47:57,949 I'll find this little brat. 979 00:48:00,701 --> 00:48:02,952 (panting) 980 00:48:06,539 --> 00:48:08,582 ♪ ♪ 981 00:48:11,501 --> 00:48:13,544 (sighs) 982 00:48:20,382 --> 00:48:23,302 (song playing with eerie, indistinct chanted vocal) 983 00:48:38,271 --> 00:48:40,524 (song continues with eerie, indistinct chanted vocal) 984 00:48:47,529 --> 00:48:49,572 (shuddering breaths) 985 00:48:56,202 --> 00:48:58,579 (short, pained breaths) 986 00:49:04,042 --> 00:49:05,459 Okay. 987 00:49:14,466 --> 00:49:17,344 (panting) 988 00:49:20,429 --> 00:49:21,823 (grunts) 989 00:49:21,847 --> 00:49:23,306 (exhales) 990 00:49:24,099 --> 00:49:25,910 (song ends) 991 00:49:25,934 --> 00:49:27,744 (panting) 992 00:49:27,768 --> 00:49:29,979 (people screaming, shouting) 993 00:49:34,065 --> 00:49:37,043 TRUDY (over radio): Santa. Santa. 994 00:49:37,067 --> 00:49:38,920 - Santa! - (gasps) 995 00:49:38,944 --> 00:49:40,587 (panting) 996 00:49:40,611 --> 00:49:42,446 This is Trudy. 997 00:49:43,281 --> 00:49:46,449 - Are you okay, Santa? - (breathing heavily, grunting) 998 00:49:48,534 --> 00:49:49,928 Hi. Hey. 999 00:49:49,952 --> 00:49:51,763 Are you okay? 1000 00:49:51,787 --> 00:49:53,597 I'm good. Uh... 1001 00:49:53,621 --> 00:49:55,975 I was just wrapping something up. 1002 00:49:55,999 --> 00:49:58,184 I ran away and hid in the attic. 1003 00:49:58,208 --> 00:50:01,437 Okay. If you're safe... 1004 00:50:01,461 --> 00:50:04,439 uh, just stay there and, uh, stay quiet, all right? 1005 00:50:04,463 --> 00:50:09,277 Okay. I can set up booby traps, like in Home Alone. 1006 00:50:09,301 --> 00:50:10,944 Okay, I don't know what that means, 1007 00:50:10,968 --> 00:50:12,654 but, uh, yeah, do that. 1008 00:50:12,678 --> 00:50:14,597 Just do it quietly. 1009 00:50:15,972 --> 00:50:17,950 Are you really Santa? 1010 00:50:17,974 --> 00:50:20,184 (chuckling) 1011 00:50:21,810 --> 00:50:23,811 Of course I am, sweetheart. 1012 00:50:24,687 --> 00:50:27,565 My daddy says there isn't any Santa. 1013 00:50:28,982 --> 00:50:32,170 He says parents just tell their kids that Santa's real 1014 00:50:32,194 --> 00:50:33,879 to make them feel better. 1015 00:50:33,903 --> 00:50:36,756 He said they give us presents 1016 00:50:36,780 --> 00:50:39,049 and say they're from Santa. 1017 00:50:39,073 --> 00:50:41,177 Yeah. 1018 00:50:41,201 --> 00:50:43,428 Yeah, a lot of parents say that. 1019 00:50:43,452 --> 00:50:47,496 But I still bring presents to kids that need me. 1020 00:50:48,789 --> 00:50:51,082 Kids who really believe. 1021 00:50:52,334 --> 00:50:55,228 How do you know who really needs you? 1022 00:50:55,252 --> 00:50:57,439 Christmas magic. 1023 00:50:57,463 --> 00:50:59,732 I'm not really sure how it works. 1024 00:50:59,756 --> 00:51:01,090 (chuckles) 1025 00:51:07,554 --> 00:51:09,823 But, uh... 1026 00:51:09,847 --> 00:51:11,992 (sighs) 1027 00:51:12,016 --> 00:51:15,119 I remember, um... 1028 00:51:15,143 --> 00:51:17,037 when Trudy Lightstone wrote to me. 1029 00:51:17,061 --> 00:51:19,456 She must have been about six years old, 1030 00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:23,292 and she said that she felt lonely sometimes. 1031 00:51:23,316 --> 00:51:25,710 She missed having a best friend. 1032 00:51:25,734 --> 00:51:27,045 And so I brought her 1033 00:51:27,069 --> 00:51:28,922 a beautiful little stuffed rabbit. 1034 00:51:28,946 --> 00:51:30,297 Mr. Bunny. 1035 00:51:30,321 --> 00:51:32,257 And then I remember the next year, 1036 00:51:32,281 --> 00:51:34,383 and you said you had this amazing dream 1037 00:51:34,407 --> 00:51:38,429 and that, afterwards, all you wanted to do was... 1038 00:51:38,453 --> 00:51:39,679 To fly! 1039 00:51:39,703 --> 00:51:42,122 (laughing): To fly. To fly. 1040 00:51:43,373 --> 00:51:47,810 I mean, Santa might have some magic, but... 1041 00:51:47,834 --> 00:51:51,546 making a little girl fly? 1042 00:51:53,714 --> 00:51:57,777 But giving you a kite, 1043 00:51:57,801 --> 00:52:01,238 floating just beneath the clouds, 1044 00:52:01,262 --> 00:52:04,074 well, it's about as good as it gets. 1045 00:52:04,098 --> 00:52:05,950 I knew it. 1046 00:52:05,974 --> 00:52:08,351 I knew you were real, Santa. 1047 00:52:10,894 --> 00:52:14,063 Don't be too hard on your parents, all right? 1048 00:52:15,815 --> 00:52:18,650 Grown-ups have a hard time believing things. 1049 00:52:19,484 --> 00:52:21,754 Can you use your Christmas magic 1050 00:52:21,778 --> 00:52:24,089 to make them love each other again? 1051 00:52:24,113 --> 00:52:26,657 I wish I had that kind of power. 1052 00:52:27,448 --> 00:52:31,178 Mrs. Claus and I have been going on year, uh, 1053 00:52:31,202 --> 00:52:33,495 1,100, and... 1054 00:52:34,371 --> 00:52:37,206 Grown-up relationships are complicated. 1055 00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,227 It takes work. 1056 00:52:40,251 --> 00:52:42,377 A lot of work. 1057 00:52:44,504 --> 00:52:46,898 Do you still love her? 1058 00:52:46,922 --> 00:52:48,757 Yeah, I do. 1059 00:52:49,716 --> 00:52:53,261 And sometimes, even if you want to make somebody happy... 1060 00:52:54,469 --> 00:52:56,763 the magic just goes away. 1061 00:52:58,806 --> 00:53:01,118 Hey. 1062 00:53:01,142 --> 00:53:02,910 I've got an idea. 1063 00:53:02,934 --> 00:53:04,561 This will be fun. 1064 00:53:05,603 --> 00:53:08,832 Why don't you guys open your presents? 1065 00:53:08,856 --> 00:53:13,127 I want to see what you rich assholes get each other. 1066 00:53:13,151 --> 00:53:19,090 And some of you might not make it till tomorrow morning, 1067 00:53:19,114 --> 00:53:22,116 so this could be your only chance. 1068 00:53:22,950 --> 00:53:24,386 Come on. 1069 00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:27,162 Where's the Christmas spirit? 1070 00:53:28,705 --> 00:53:30,789 Uh... 1071 00:53:31,665 --> 00:53:36,061 Gertrude, uh, I got you something pretty special. 1072 00:53:36,085 --> 00:53:37,396 KRAMPUS: Did you hear that, Gertrude? 1073 00:53:37,420 --> 00:53:39,355 He got you something amazing. 1074 00:53:39,379 --> 00:53:42,274 (giggling excitedly): Oh, what could it be? 1075 00:53:42,298 --> 00:53:44,693 Oh, my God, this is exciting. 1076 00:53:44,717 --> 00:53:46,902 Mom. 1077 00:53:46,926 --> 00:53:48,636 Can I call you Mom? 1078 00:53:49,846 --> 00:53:51,472 Mrs. Lightstone. 1079 00:53:53,307 --> 00:53:56,684 Okay, so in the business, they call this... 1080 00:53:57,685 --> 00:53:59,145 a pitch deck. 1081 00:54:00,062 --> 00:54:01,122 - Pitch deck. - MORGAN: Yeah. 1082 00:54:01,146 --> 00:54:02,915 It's called Explosive Force. 1083 00:54:02,939 --> 00:54:04,458 Starring me. 1084 00:54:04,482 --> 00:54:06,209 And if you look in the back, 1085 00:54:06,233 --> 00:54:09,670 there are the financial numbers. 1086 00:54:09,694 --> 00:54:13,238 I'm kind of a big deal in Asia. 1087 00:54:14,490 --> 00:54:16,634 Parts of Asia, at least. 1088 00:54:16,658 --> 00:54:18,719 We were in parts of Asia once, and, like, 1089 00:54:18,743 --> 00:54:20,471 we couldn't even go to a restaurant. 1090 00:54:20,495 --> 00:54:23,973 Ah, what is there a better gift than... 1091 00:54:23,997 --> 00:54:27,333 gift of a golden opportunity? 1092 00:54:28,667 --> 00:54:30,895 KRAMPUS (laughing): Oh, no. 1093 00:54:30,919 --> 00:54:32,146 (laughing) 1094 00:54:32,170 --> 00:54:34,607 Granny doesn't like it. (laughs) 1095 00:54:34,631 --> 00:54:37,257 Mother, I got you something really special. 1096 00:54:43,513 --> 00:54:46,157 It's a sentimental photo of the day I was born. 1097 00:54:46,181 --> 00:54:48,201 I remember. 1098 00:54:48,225 --> 00:54:49,576 I was there. 1099 00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,828 KRAMPUS: She doesn't give a shit. 1100 00:54:51,852 --> 00:54:54,288 (laughing) 1101 00:54:54,312 --> 00:54:55,998 - Swing and miss again! - (glass shatters) 1102 00:54:56,022 --> 00:54:57,290 This is so fun. 1103 00:54:57,314 --> 00:54:58,500 ALVA: Mommy, how about another one? 1104 00:54:58,524 --> 00:55:00,210 I got you a lot of good things. 1105 00:55:00,234 --> 00:55:02,252 - I'll grab one. - Alva, Alva, sit down. 1106 00:55:02,276 --> 00:55:04,004 You've already given me one. It's... 1107 00:55:04,028 --> 00:55:05,255 It's Jason's turn. 1108 00:55:05,279 --> 00:55:06,672 JASON: Uh... 1109 00:55:06,696 --> 00:55:10,134 I th... I-I think I left it in the car. 1110 00:55:10,158 --> 00:55:12,386 No, I-I saw you put one under the tree earlier. 1111 00:55:12,410 --> 00:55:14,762 - No. It's in the... - Yeah, I did. 1112 00:55:14,786 --> 00:55:17,848 I could've sworn. You know what, it's, uh... 1113 00:55:17,872 --> 00:55:19,933 Y-You don't... you don't... you don't... you... 1114 00:55:19,957 --> 00:55:22,560 It's this one, right? Yeah, I got you, bro. 1115 00:55:22,584 --> 00:55:24,019 Come on. 1116 00:55:24,043 --> 00:55:25,771 (panting quietly) 1117 00:55:25,795 --> 00:55:27,839 Thank you. 1118 00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:31,067 It's my favorite whiskey. 1119 00:55:31,091 --> 00:55:33,759 You can skip the note. 1120 00:55:41,390 --> 00:55:43,642 ♪ ♪ 1121 00:55:52,816 --> 00:55:54,859 (sighs) 1122 00:55:57,111 --> 00:55:58,863 Thank you, Jason. 1123 00:56:04,241 --> 00:56:06,553 What's the card say? 1124 00:56:06,577 --> 00:56:09,471 I think I'll just keep that between Jason and I. 1125 00:56:09,495 --> 00:56:13,623 No one really needs to know. Right, Jason? 1126 00:56:16,084 --> 00:56:17,793 Right. 1127 00:56:18,752 --> 00:56:21,105 TRUDY: Did you ever have a mommy and daddy? 1128 00:56:21,129 --> 00:56:22,898 (grunts) 1129 00:56:22,922 --> 00:56:24,942 (chuckling): Yeah, of course I had a mommy and daddy. 1130 00:56:24,966 --> 00:56:28,635 I wasn't... I wasn't always Santa Claus. 1131 00:56:29,470 --> 00:56:31,762 I had a life before this. 1132 00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:35,432 A long, long, long time ago. 1133 00:56:39,602 --> 00:56:42,706 They used to call me, uh... 1134 00:56:42,730 --> 00:56:44,623 Nicomund. 1135 00:56:44,647 --> 00:56:46,876 (flames rumbling) 1136 00:56:46,900 --> 00:56:48,376 (panting) 1137 00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:50,003 SANTA: Nicomund the Red. 1138 00:56:50,027 --> 00:56:51,588 (people yelling) 1139 00:56:51,612 --> 00:56:54,339 TRUDY: You had a different job then? 1140 00:56:54,363 --> 00:56:57,091 SANTA: Yeah, you could say that. 1141 00:56:57,115 --> 00:56:58,968 I was a warrior. 1142 00:56:58,992 --> 00:57:01,052 A raider. A thief. 1143 00:57:01,076 --> 00:57:04,848 - (man screams) - And if somebody got in my way, 1144 00:57:04,872 --> 00:57:06,599 me and Skullcrusher would... 1145 00:57:06,623 --> 00:57:08,291 TRUDY: Who's Skullcrusher? 1146 00:57:09,125 --> 00:57:12,228 Skullcrusher's my, uh... 1147 00:57:12,252 --> 00:57:14,938 my hammer. 1148 00:57:14,962 --> 00:57:17,191 My favorite hammer. 1149 00:57:17,215 --> 00:57:19,567 I was a surgeon with that thing. 1150 00:57:19,591 --> 00:57:22,028 Used to be able to take three heads, line 'em up... 1151 00:57:22,052 --> 00:57:23,612 (makes thudding sound) 1152 00:57:23,636 --> 00:57:26,198 But why? 1153 00:57:26,222 --> 00:57:27,656 What? 1154 00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:30,308 Why'd you do those things? 1155 00:57:32,267 --> 00:57:34,353 Because I was mean. 1156 00:57:35,521 --> 00:57:37,647 And I was greedy. 1157 00:57:39,482 --> 00:57:42,251 And I wanted gold, jewels. 1158 00:57:42,275 --> 00:57:44,961 Yeah, I mean, if there was a naughty list back then, 1159 00:57:44,985 --> 00:57:46,987 I'd be top dog. 1160 00:57:48,572 --> 00:57:50,698 Well, maybe... 1161 00:57:51,699 --> 00:57:52,885 What? 1162 00:57:52,909 --> 00:57:55,035 Maybe all those bad things you used to do... 1163 00:57:56,119 --> 00:57:59,413 maybe you can use them to do good things instead. 1164 00:58:00,206 --> 00:58:02,475 To help. 1165 00:58:02,499 --> 00:58:04,393 What do you mean? 1166 00:58:04,417 --> 00:58:08,772 Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy. 1167 00:58:08,796 --> 00:58:12,191 That night, you gave me what I wished for. 1168 00:58:12,215 --> 00:58:14,092 A best friend. 1169 00:58:15,134 --> 00:58:17,737 'Cause you're good and kind. 1170 00:58:17,761 --> 00:58:21,323 And you mean more than just the presents you bring. 1171 00:58:21,347 --> 00:58:23,992 That's why I believe in you, Santa. 1172 00:58:24,016 --> 00:58:26,434 That's why I believe. 1173 00:58:27,561 --> 00:58:29,853 (exhaling sharply) 1174 00:58:32,022 --> 00:58:33,690 Thank you. 1175 00:58:35,525 --> 00:58:39,462 You stay hidden, Trudy, till I come get you. 1176 00:58:39,486 --> 00:58:41,405 Stay safe. 1177 00:58:42,363 --> 00:58:45,259 SCROOGE: All right, we got satellite confirmation. 1178 00:58:45,283 --> 00:58:47,385 Extraction team's on the go. 1179 00:58:47,409 --> 00:58:49,679 ETA: 30 minutes. 1180 00:58:49,703 --> 00:58:51,346 We're on schedule. 1181 00:58:51,370 --> 00:58:52,764 Everything's good. 1182 00:58:52,788 --> 00:58:54,349 - (engines revving) - THORP: All right, fellas. 1183 00:58:54,373 --> 00:58:55,766 Look alive, look alive. 1184 00:58:55,790 --> 00:58:57,685 You all know the plan, 1185 00:58:57,709 --> 00:59:01,062 and I like my operations like I like to fuck: 1186 00:59:01,086 --> 00:59:03,856 hard and fast with minimal cleanup. 1187 00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:08,402 Now, some idiot gets in your way, what do you do? 1188 00:59:08,426 --> 00:59:10,486 ALL: Fuck their shit up right! 1189 00:59:10,510 --> 00:59:12,178 Damn right. 1190 00:59:12,971 --> 00:59:15,681 - Time to lube up. - (engines revving) 1191 00:59:16,807 --> 00:59:19,517 Let's go, motherfuckers! Let's go! 1192 00:59:25,439 --> 00:59:27,690 (whispers): This fucking family. 1193 00:59:46,955 --> 00:59:49,182 MALE VOICE (recorded): Ho, ho, ho, ho. 1194 00:59:49,206 --> 00:59:50,976 - (gasps) - Merry Christmas. 1195 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,227 Happy holidays. 1196 00:59:52,251 --> 00:59:53,352 Traitor. 1197 00:59:53,376 --> 00:59:54,812 (grunts) 1198 00:59:54,836 --> 00:59:56,814 I got him in the east wing. 1199 00:59:56,838 --> 00:59:59,274 SCROOGE: All right, we're on our way. Hold him. 1200 00:59:59,298 --> 01:00:00,817 (grunting, panting) 1201 01:00:00,841 --> 01:00:03,193 (yells) 1202 01:00:03,217 --> 01:00:04,636 (gasps) 1203 01:00:08,263 --> 01:00:10,514 (both grunting) 1204 01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:14,602 Step aside. 1205 01:00:18,980 --> 01:00:21,482 - (gunshot) - (whooshing) 1206 01:00:23,650 --> 01:00:25,902 ♪ ♪ 1207 01:00:28,111 --> 01:00:30,882 SCROOGE (in other room): Now, how did this tired, old, 1208 01:00:30,906 --> 01:00:33,550 fat piece of shit get the drop on us? 1209 01:00:33,574 --> 01:00:35,010 GINGERBREAD: I don't know. 1210 01:00:35,034 --> 01:00:37,011 CANDY CANE: He's not even armed. 1211 01:00:37,035 --> 01:00:39,430 This bag is the only thing he had on him. 1212 01:00:39,454 --> 01:00:40,872 SCROOGE: What's in there? 1213 01:00:41,622 --> 01:00:43,666 Can't see anything. 1214 01:00:47,752 --> 01:00:49,212 SCROOGE: Here, give it to me. 1215 01:01:00,303 --> 01:01:02,782 What kind of moron... 1216 01:01:02,806 --> 01:01:05,057 carries a chess set with him? 1217 01:01:08,685 --> 01:01:10,204 What the fuck? 1218 01:01:10,228 --> 01:01:12,747 Doesn't make any sense. Look at all this shit. 1219 01:01:12,771 --> 01:01:14,957 (thuds, strings twang) 1220 01:01:14,981 --> 01:01:17,149 (chuckling) 1221 01:01:19,985 --> 01:01:22,963 So, you're gonna tell us what's the gimmick with the bag? 1222 01:01:22,987 --> 01:01:24,632 It's magic. 1223 01:01:24,656 --> 01:01:27,574 You put your hand in, out comes a present. 1224 01:01:29,159 --> 01:01:31,911 I don't really understand how it works, either. 1225 01:01:33,287 --> 01:01:36,307 So, you're Mr. Scrooge. 1226 01:01:36,331 --> 01:01:38,309 That's right. 1227 01:01:38,333 --> 01:01:40,102 But who are you? 1228 01:01:40,126 --> 01:01:42,169 Weihnachtsmann. 1229 01:01:43,545 --> 01:01:45,505 Julenissen. 1230 01:01:46,381 --> 01:01:48,298 Shèngdàn Laorén. 1231 01:01:49,133 --> 01:01:52,319 Babbo Natale, Père Noel, Kris Kringle. 1232 01:01:52,343 --> 01:01:54,822 Jolly old Saint Nick. 1233 01:01:54,846 --> 01:01:57,889 People call me a lot of things. 1234 01:01:58,724 --> 01:02:01,326 SCROOGE: Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. 1235 01:02:01,350 --> 01:02:03,704 Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"? 1236 01:02:03,728 --> 01:02:07,289 If you're Santa, where's your reindeer? 1237 01:02:07,313 --> 01:02:09,125 They were on the roof 1238 01:02:09,149 --> 01:02:11,751 until that guy I turned into an ice kebab just... 1239 01:02:11,775 --> 01:02:14,378 (Santa imitates rapid gunfire) 1240 01:02:14,402 --> 01:02:16,004 You don't believe me? 1241 01:02:16,028 --> 01:02:17,131 Go check. 1242 01:02:17,155 --> 01:02:19,882 Prancer left a tasty log up there. 1243 01:02:19,906 --> 01:02:21,718 SCROOGE: This fucking guy. 1244 01:02:21,742 --> 01:02:23,427 You don't think... 1245 01:02:23,451 --> 01:02:26,596 Now, I know you're an idiot, but don't be an idiot out loud. 1246 01:02:26,620 --> 01:02:28,681 Come on, he's just in Santy Claus 1247 01:02:28,705 --> 01:02:30,683 with a fucking trick bag. 1248 01:02:30,707 --> 01:02:32,684 SANTA: Oh, no! 1249 01:02:32,708 --> 01:02:34,519 That bag was full of kids' dreams! 1250 01:02:34,543 --> 01:02:36,311 SCROOGE: Oh, come on. 1251 01:02:36,335 --> 01:02:38,629 Everybody knows that Christmas dreams are bullshit. 1252 01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:42,024 My father used to make a big deal out of it 1253 01:02:42,048 --> 01:02:43,818 every Christmas. 1254 01:02:43,842 --> 01:02:45,986 Every freaking Christmas with the presents 1255 01:02:46,010 --> 01:02:48,196 and the candy and the decorations 1256 01:02:48,220 --> 01:02:52,015 and the Christmas caroling and all that bullshit. 1257 01:02:53,391 --> 01:02:55,660 And then when I was... 1258 01:02:55,684 --> 01:02:59,079 I don't know, ten, 11, 1259 01:02:59,103 --> 01:03:01,039 he got laid off, and that Christmas, 1260 01:03:01,063 --> 01:03:02,540 couldn't even afford a tree. 1261 01:03:02,564 --> 01:03:04,083 No Christmas dinner, no gifts. 1262 01:03:04,107 --> 01:03:06,735 Nothing, nada, culo, dick. 1263 01:03:07,526 --> 01:03:08,879 But our neighbors... 1264 01:03:08,903 --> 01:03:10,756 our neighbors, oh, they had it all. 1265 01:03:10,780 --> 01:03:12,548 I could see all that yuletide cheer 1266 01:03:12,572 --> 01:03:15,092 through their window mocking me. 1267 01:03:15,116 --> 01:03:19,012 So Christmas Eve rolls around, and... 1268 01:03:19,036 --> 01:03:22,055 I waited for everybody to go to bed. 1269 01:03:22,079 --> 01:03:25,415 And then I snuck in there to take it all. 1270 01:03:26,416 --> 01:03:28,935 Only problem was that the gramps got up to take a piss 1271 01:03:28,959 --> 01:03:31,354 and the two of us scared the shit out of each other. 1272 01:03:31,378 --> 01:03:34,398 And, um, he fell down the stairs 1273 01:03:34,422 --> 01:03:38,943 and-and broke his neck, and he died in the hospital. 1274 01:03:38,967 --> 01:03:40,570 Everybody thought that I did it, 1275 01:03:40,594 --> 01:03:42,071 and every time I tried to tell them, 1276 01:03:42,095 --> 01:03:44,597 I tried to tell them that... 1277 01:03:46,057 --> 01:03:48,409 Anyway, maybe I did do it. 1278 01:03:48,433 --> 01:03:50,453 Maybe I did push him. 1279 01:03:50,477 --> 01:03:52,245 Poor old fucker. 1280 01:03:52,269 --> 01:03:55,748 So, you see, Christmas ruined my life. 1281 01:03:55,772 --> 01:03:57,416 Okay? But you know what? 1282 01:03:57,440 --> 01:03:58,751 It set me on the path 1283 01:03:58,775 --> 01:04:00,794 and made me the great man that I am today. 1284 01:04:00,818 --> 01:04:02,861 I'm sorry, Jimmy. 1285 01:04:03,654 --> 01:04:05,196 I really am. 1286 01:04:06,030 --> 01:04:08,050 But I do gifts. I do Christmas cheer. 1287 01:04:08,074 --> 01:04:10,259 I don't get involved in people's lives. 1288 01:04:10,283 --> 01:04:14,161 Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, maybe you fucking should! 1289 01:04:18,665 --> 01:04:21,811 Um, how did he know your name? 1290 01:04:21,835 --> 01:04:23,520 Oh, Bjorn. 1291 01:04:23,544 --> 01:04:25,647 What's your excuse? 1292 01:04:25,671 --> 01:04:27,231 Huh? 1293 01:04:27,255 --> 01:04:30,567 Didn't I get you that Huffy bike you wanted back in '82? 1294 01:04:30,591 --> 01:04:33,778 One you wrote me 50 times about! 1295 01:04:33,802 --> 01:04:35,278 What about you, Kira? 1296 01:04:35,302 --> 01:04:38,448 Well, you made your brother eat worms. 1297 01:04:38,472 --> 01:04:39,949 That's naughty! 1298 01:04:39,973 --> 01:04:41,867 Okay, how does he know about my bike? 1299 01:04:41,891 --> 01:04:45,286 It's a lucky guess, like: "Hey, do you like big tits?" 1300 01:04:45,310 --> 01:04:47,497 Come on, every kid wants a fucking bike. 1301 01:04:47,521 --> 01:04:50,624 - You're gonna tell me who you work for... -Oh, Christ. No. 1302 01:04:50,648 --> 01:04:53,918 Then you've got five seconds to tell me who you really are. 1303 01:04:53,942 --> 01:04:56,754 Five, four, three, two... 1304 01:04:56,778 --> 01:04:58,463 I'm Santa Claus! 1305 01:04:58,487 --> 01:05:00,781 Well, not anymore. 1306 01:05:02,490 --> 01:05:04,742 ♪ ♪ 1307 01:05:25,675 --> 01:05:27,486 GINGERBREAD: Is it snowing? 1308 01:05:27,510 --> 01:05:30,929 CANDY CANE: Is he doing this with Santa magic? 1309 01:05:37,434 --> 01:05:39,811 Let it snow! 1310 01:05:51,528 --> 01:05:53,506 It's not snow. 1311 01:05:53,530 --> 01:05:54,840 It's Styrofoam. 1312 01:05:54,864 --> 01:05:57,092 I told you this guy's a big phony. 1313 01:05:57,116 --> 01:05:58,868 (grunts) 1314 01:06:00,619 --> 01:06:02,871 (whooshing) 1315 01:06:06,540 --> 01:06:08,791 (groaning) 1316 01:06:09,876 --> 01:06:11,520 (grunts, sighs) 1317 01:06:11,544 --> 01:06:13,396 Where'd he go? 1318 01:06:13,420 --> 01:06:15,023 GINGERBREAD: He went up the chimney. 1319 01:06:15,047 --> 01:06:16,690 - I saw it. - SCROOGE: I don't know, 1320 01:06:16,714 --> 01:06:18,525 he had a rig or some pulley system 1321 01:06:18,549 --> 01:06:20,527 - that just yanked him up. - You can't fit up there. 1322 01:06:20,551 --> 01:06:22,236 - It's impossible. - Oh, you see one weird thing, 1323 01:06:22,260 --> 01:06:24,572 and then you think you're in a fairy tale? 1324 01:06:24,596 --> 01:06:25,864 KRAMPUS (over radio): Incoming. 1325 01:06:25,888 --> 01:06:26,741 We've got sleigh bells approaching. 1326 01:06:26,765 --> 01:06:28,533 Oh, my God. 1327 01:06:28,557 --> 01:06:30,433 It's his reindeer. 1328 01:06:32,060 --> 01:06:34,038 - (hits table) - It's the extraction team. 1329 01:06:34,062 --> 01:06:36,247 Pull yourselves together! 1330 01:06:36,271 --> 01:06:38,940 (engines revving) 1331 01:06:41,734 --> 01:06:43,944 ♪ ♪ 1332 01:06:47,905 --> 01:06:50,074 (engines revving in distance) 1333 01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:55,471 And that is the sound of my Kill Squad. 1334 01:06:55,495 --> 01:06:56,930 (Bert laughing) 1335 01:06:56,954 --> 01:06:59,015 Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now. 1336 01:06:59,039 --> 01:07:01,224 Huh? What are you gonna do? You little elf bitch. 1337 01:07:01,248 --> 01:07:02,684 Fu... (grunts) 1338 01:07:02,708 --> 01:07:03,852 (gasps) Bertie. 1339 01:07:03,876 --> 01:07:05,394 Hashtag "blessed." 1340 01:07:05,418 --> 01:07:08,439 (yells, grunts) 1341 01:07:08,463 --> 01:07:11,066 Yeah! (yells) 1342 01:07:11,090 --> 01:07:12,067 Parkour. 1343 01:07:12,091 --> 01:07:13,234 Kill him, babe! 1344 01:07:13,258 --> 01:07:15,927 - (yells) Oh! - (others gasping) 1345 01:07:16,803 --> 01:07:18,428 Morgan's gonna save us. 1346 01:07:20,180 --> 01:07:23,933 Jean-Claude Van Dipshit just ditched us, sweetie. 1347 01:07:30,939 --> 01:07:32,916 Hold your fire. 1348 01:07:32,940 --> 01:07:34,542 Barrel roll! 1349 01:07:34,566 --> 01:07:36,251 (grunting, panting) 1350 01:07:36,275 --> 01:07:37,544 Easy, easy. 1351 01:07:37,568 --> 01:07:39,463 - (grunts) Yeah! - Easy. 1352 01:07:39,487 --> 01:07:40,755 Identify yourself. 1353 01:07:40,779 --> 01:07:43,132 I'm one of the hostages. 1354 01:07:43,156 --> 01:07:46,259 Morgan Steel, the actor. 1355 01:07:46,283 --> 01:07:49,261 Played a lot of soldiers in my career. 1356 01:07:49,285 --> 01:07:52,872 Can I just say, thank you for your service. Semper fi. 1357 01:07:53,706 --> 01:07:55,600 What's the situation inside? 1358 01:07:55,624 --> 01:07:58,019 Bunch of ex-military guys, 1359 01:07:58,043 --> 01:08:00,020 but I got to warn you, they know you're coming. 1360 01:08:00,044 --> 01:08:01,689 I think they're ready for you. 1361 01:08:01,713 --> 01:08:03,523 They better be. 1362 01:08:03,547 --> 01:08:05,608 We're on a tight schedule. 1363 01:08:05,632 --> 01:08:07,466 Shit. 1364 01:08:10,803 --> 01:08:12,905 (gasps) Oh, f... 1365 01:08:12,929 --> 01:08:16,223 - All right, let's move out. - Let's move out. 1366 01:08:20,393 --> 01:08:21,996 Come on. 1367 01:08:22,020 --> 01:08:24,206 You got to be kidding me. 1368 01:08:24,230 --> 01:08:25,915 SCROOGE: Hey, Thorp, you're ten minutes late. 1369 01:08:25,939 --> 01:08:27,291 What kept you? 1370 01:08:27,315 --> 01:08:29,626 Looks to me like your net's got a hole in it. 1371 01:08:29,650 --> 01:08:32,087 Or are you just letting your hostages out for some exercise? 1372 01:08:32,111 --> 01:08:34,338 No, no, no. We got a wild gopher running around 1373 01:08:34,362 --> 01:08:36,924 complicating shit and causing problems. 1374 01:08:36,948 --> 01:08:38,508 Who? Lightstone security? 1375 01:08:38,532 --> 01:08:40,093 Nah, I don't think so. Some intruder dressed as Santa. 1376 01:08:40,117 --> 01:08:41,511 But I'm telling you, I'm telling you, 1377 01:08:41,535 --> 01:08:43,721 there's something weird about him. 1378 01:08:43,745 --> 01:08:45,347 Might be the real Santa. 1379 01:08:45,371 --> 01:08:47,807 - The fuck did she just say? - SCROOGE: Nothing, nothing. 1380 01:08:47,831 --> 01:08:48,891 She's joking. 1381 01:08:48,915 --> 01:08:51,417 My squad will take care of it. 1382 01:08:53,794 --> 01:08:56,480 Beta Team, go find this asshole. 1383 01:08:56,504 --> 01:08:58,482 Go. 1384 01:08:58,506 --> 01:09:02,819 Now, let's unwrap our present, shall we? 1385 01:09:02,843 --> 01:09:05,070 All right, you heard the man. 1386 01:09:05,094 --> 01:09:07,698 Time to kill Santa. 1387 01:09:07,722 --> 01:09:10,158 I've got him. He's on the roof. 1388 01:09:10,182 --> 01:09:12,476 Roger that. I got eyes on him. 1389 01:09:16,395 --> 01:09:19,189 (gasping) 1390 01:09:20,356 --> 01:09:22,232 (screams) 1391 01:09:23,358 --> 01:09:25,795 (groaning) 1392 01:09:25,819 --> 01:09:28,029 (panting, grunting) 1393 01:09:29,864 --> 01:09:31,841 Right, Sugarplum. Hit that button. 1394 01:09:31,865 --> 01:09:33,843 (tapping keys) 1395 01:09:33,867 --> 01:09:36,118 (clunking, whirring) 1396 01:09:38,829 --> 01:09:40,681 Here we go. 1397 01:09:40,705 --> 01:09:42,058 Our skeleton key. 1398 01:09:42,082 --> 01:09:43,934 The "open" magic stick. 1399 01:09:43,958 --> 01:09:45,643 This better fucking work. 1400 01:09:45,667 --> 01:09:48,313 I'm flushing my career for this, my reputation. 1401 01:09:48,337 --> 01:09:51,130 Yeah, well, then you can buy yourself a new rep. 1402 01:10:00,054 --> 01:10:01,531 THORP: As a kid, I loved 1403 01:10:01,555 --> 01:10:03,574 unwrapping Christmas presents so much 1404 01:10:03,598 --> 01:10:06,558 that my mom would wrap empty boxes for me. 1405 01:10:07,476 --> 01:10:09,895 I didn't care that nothing was inside. 1406 01:10:13,856 --> 01:10:16,066 ♪ ♪ 1407 01:10:21,862 --> 01:10:24,423 Is this a fucking joke? 1408 01:10:24,447 --> 01:10:25,657 No. 1409 01:10:27,033 --> 01:10:28,927 THORP: You said it would fucking be here! 1410 01:10:28,951 --> 01:10:32,554 I'm telling you, my intel was rock solid. 1411 01:10:32,578 --> 01:10:34,872 I had guys on the inside. 1412 01:10:35,915 --> 01:10:39,602 300 million in cash was delivered here yesterday 1413 01:10:39,626 --> 01:10:41,919 to this fucking mansion. 1414 01:10:46,923 --> 01:10:49,592 Somebody must've intercepted it. 1415 01:10:53,595 --> 01:10:55,638 Son of a bitch. 1416 01:10:58,057 --> 01:11:00,976 (groaning) 1417 01:11:06,647 --> 01:11:09,440 (panting) 1418 01:11:15,779 --> 01:11:18,006 (groans) 1419 01:11:18,030 --> 01:11:19,550 Oh, shit. 1420 01:11:19,574 --> 01:11:22,093 Santa, you okay? 1421 01:11:22,117 --> 01:11:23,678 (over radio): Santa. 1422 01:11:23,702 --> 01:11:25,971 A bunch of new bad guys showed up. 1423 01:11:25,995 --> 01:11:27,764 They're on the naughty list. 1424 01:11:27,788 --> 01:11:30,790 They got their gadgets and their gizmos on them. 1425 01:11:31,624 --> 01:11:34,186 I'm sorry. I think this is it, kid. 1426 01:11:34,210 --> 01:11:35,979 No, no, don't say that. 1427 01:11:36,003 --> 01:11:37,981 The naughty list... 1428 01:11:38,005 --> 01:11:40,423 just grows and grows. 1429 01:11:46,970 --> 01:11:49,114 (device whirring) 1430 01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:52,950 He's in that structure. Body cams on. 1431 01:11:52,974 --> 01:11:55,035 TRUDY: Don't give up. 1432 01:11:55,059 --> 01:11:57,620 You make a wish this time, Santa. 1433 01:11:57,644 --> 01:11:59,247 Just this once. 1434 01:11:59,271 --> 01:12:02,166 If you could have anything in this world, 1435 01:12:02,190 --> 01:12:04,442 what would it be? 1436 01:12:10,154 --> 01:12:13,175 SANTA: I wish I could see Mrs. Claus again, 1437 01:12:13,199 --> 01:12:16,302 tell her how much I love her. 1438 01:12:16,326 --> 01:12:19,137 Then you make that wish come true. 1439 01:12:19,161 --> 01:12:21,306 - (ring clinking) - Oh, shit. 1440 01:12:21,330 --> 01:12:23,640 No, no, no, no. No, no. 1441 01:12:23,664 --> 01:12:25,392 (grunting) 1442 01:12:25,416 --> 01:12:26,810 Oh, God. 1443 01:12:26,834 --> 01:12:29,669 (grunts) No. 1444 01:12:31,837 --> 01:12:34,048 ♪ ♪ 1445 01:12:42,054 --> 01:12:45,032 You said these guys, they're naughty. 1446 01:12:45,056 --> 01:12:47,993 And what do you do to the naughty ones? 1447 01:12:48,017 --> 01:12:49,869 I give them a lump of coal. 1448 01:12:49,893 --> 01:12:52,145 Yeah. Give them their lumps. 1449 01:12:53,355 --> 01:12:55,624 Take that coal and shove it straight up their... 1450 01:12:55,648 --> 01:12:57,876 - Anuses. - Yeah! 1451 01:12:57,900 --> 01:12:59,650 ♪ ♪ 1452 01:13:03,862 --> 01:13:05,506 They're right outside. 1453 01:13:05,530 --> 01:13:06,924 (whooshing) 1454 01:13:06,948 --> 01:13:08,741 ♪ ♪ 1455 01:13:19,708 --> 01:13:22,186 Santa's gonna eat through these guys 1456 01:13:22,210 --> 01:13:24,337 like a plate full of cookies. 1457 01:13:25,128 --> 01:13:27,381 (whispering) 1458 01:13:28,882 --> 01:13:30,258 Move, move. 1459 01:13:33,927 --> 01:13:35,720 Hey, lock it up. 1460 01:13:37,639 --> 01:13:39,473 Lights down. 1461 01:13:40,641 --> 01:13:42,534 Stay at my back. 1462 01:13:42,558 --> 01:13:44,662 All right, we got this, boys. 1463 01:13:44,686 --> 01:13:46,354 (fierce grunting) 1464 01:13:47,020 --> 01:13:49,481 (yelling in pain) 1465 01:13:53,651 --> 01:13:55,962 - (yelps, groans) - (neck snaps) 1466 01:13:55,986 --> 01:13:58,238 ♪ ♪ 1467 01:14:00,781 --> 01:14:02,217 (gasps) 1468 01:14:02,241 --> 01:14:03,510 (pained yelling) 1469 01:14:03,534 --> 01:14:05,886 All right, where the fuck is my money?! 1470 01:14:05,910 --> 01:14:08,288 Where's the money?! 1471 01:14:09,746 --> 01:14:11,748 (yells) 1472 01:14:18,920 --> 01:14:21,816 All right, I've been a sweetheart up to now. 1473 01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:23,275 But that's all over. 1474 01:14:23,299 --> 01:14:25,068 No more fucking games! 1475 01:14:25,092 --> 01:14:26,568 Where's the money? 1476 01:14:26,592 --> 01:14:29,637 Or I will shoot every last one of you and enjoy it. 1477 01:14:33,765 --> 01:14:36,493 - It's in the vault. - I just looked in the vault. 1478 01:14:36,517 --> 01:14:37,911 Had the money been in there, 1479 01:14:37,935 --> 01:14:39,745 I'd have a different expression on my face. 1480 01:14:39,769 --> 01:14:41,122 Impossible. 1481 01:14:41,146 --> 01:14:43,207 Takes days to get into that thing. 1482 01:14:43,231 --> 01:14:46,734 Not if we have the key, Mrs. Lightstone. 1483 01:14:48,110 --> 01:14:50,129 GERTRUDE: Thorp. 1484 01:14:50,153 --> 01:14:51,505 (sighs) 1485 01:14:51,529 --> 01:14:54,090 You can't trust anyone these days. 1486 01:14:54,114 --> 01:14:56,259 SCROOGE: I'm not sure how, but you 1487 01:14:56,283 --> 01:14:59,136 or one of your shithead kids moved the money. 1488 01:14:59,160 --> 01:15:01,013 And this upsets me. 1489 01:15:01,037 --> 01:15:02,847 It upsets me 1490 01:15:02,871 --> 01:15:06,874 in a way that makes me want to just randomly shoot at people. 1491 01:15:07,875 --> 01:15:10,061 Hold on. Just... Sorry. 1492 01:15:10,085 --> 01:15:11,478 - Um... - What? What? 1493 01:15:11,502 --> 01:15:12,855 Uh, what if you randomly shoot 1494 01:15:12,879 --> 01:15:15,464 the only person who knows where it is? 1495 01:15:16,465 --> 01:15:18,776 Oh, fuck you people! 1496 01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:20,801 ♪ ♪ 1497 01:15:23,387 --> 01:15:28,474 ♪ We waited all through the year ♪ 1498 01:15:29,350 --> 01:15:34,371 ♪ For the day to appear ♪ 1499 01:15:34,395 --> 01:15:36,248 (grunting and groaning) 1500 01:15:36,272 --> 01:15:42,044 ♪ When we could be together ♪ 1501 01:15:42,068 --> 01:15:44,546 ♪ In harmony ♪ 1502 01:15:44,570 --> 01:15:45,796 (yells) 1503 01:15:45,820 --> 01:15:48,132 ♪ You know the time will come ♪ 1504 01:15:48,156 --> 01:15:51,092 (grunts, screams) 1505 01:15:51,116 --> 01:15:53,428 ♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪ 1506 01:15:53,452 --> 01:15:55,012 SANTA: Suck on this. 1507 01:15:55,036 --> 01:15:57,663 (grunting, gurgling) 1508 01:15:59,456 --> 01:16:04,311 ♪ And we can live forever ♪ 1509 01:16:04,335 --> 01:16:07,564 ♪ In a world where we are free ♪ 1510 01:16:07,588 --> 01:16:10,649 ♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪ 1511 01:16:10,673 --> 01:16:13,818 ♪ There's something about Christmastime ♪ 1512 01:16:13,842 --> 01:16:16,987 ♪ Something about Christmastime ♪ 1513 01:16:17,011 --> 01:16:19,990 ♪ That makes you wish it was Christmas every day... ♪ 1514 01:16:20,014 --> 01:16:21,491 I need some feedback, guys. 1515 01:16:21,515 --> 01:16:23,076 (grunting and yelling over monitor) 1516 01:16:23,100 --> 01:16:25,060 Guys, what the hell is going on? 1517 01:16:25,851 --> 01:16:28,663 ♪ The way that the old folks smile ♪ 1518 01:16:28,687 --> 01:16:33,316 ♪ Says that Christmas will never go away ♪ 1519 01:16:34,858 --> 01:16:39,671 - ♪ We're all as one tonight ♪ - (grunting and groaning) 1520 01:16:39,695 --> 01:16:44,384 ♪ Makes no difference if you're Black or white ♪ 1521 01:16:44,408 --> 01:16:47,303 (grunting and groaning continue) 1522 01:16:47,327 --> 01:16:50,013 ♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪ 1523 01:16:50,037 --> 01:16:52,515 (screaming) 1524 01:16:52,539 --> 01:16:54,749 ♪ In harmony ♪ 1525 01:16:56,667 --> 01:17:01,438 ♪ I know it's not too late ♪ 1526 01:17:01,462 --> 01:17:04,400 ♪ The world would be ♪ 1527 01:17:04,424 --> 01:17:07,843 - ♪ A better place ♪ - (engine starts, rumbles) 1528 01:17:10,052 --> 01:17:11,446 - What's that? - Huh? 1529 01:17:11,470 --> 01:17:13,532 ♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪ 1530 01:17:13,556 --> 01:17:15,533 (grunting and groaning continue) 1531 01:17:15,557 --> 01:17:17,868 ♪ More than one day in the year ♪ 1532 01:17:17,892 --> 01:17:22,271 ♪ Send a message loud and clear ♪ 1533 01:17:23,563 --> 01:17:26,458 ♪ There's something about Christmastime ♪ 1534 01:17:26,482 --> 01:17:29,001 ♪ Something about Christmastime ♪ 1535 01:17:29,025 --> 01:17:33,338 ♪ That makes you wish it was Christmas every day ♪ 1536 01:17:33,362 --> 01:17:35,382 (grunting, screaming) 1537 01:17:35,406 --> 01:17:38,926 ♪ To see the joy in the children's eyes ♪ 1538 01:17:38,950 --> 01:17:41,803 ♪ The way that the old folks smile ♪ 1539 01:17:41,827 --> 01:17:46,873 ♪ Says that Christmas will never go away ♪ 1540 01:17:47,665 --> 01:17:50,435 ♪ It's the time of year when everyone's together... ♪ 1541 01:17:50,459 --> 01:17:52,586 Jesus Christ. 1542 01:17:53,336 --> 01:17:55,730 Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick. 1543 01:17:55,754 --> 01:17:58,149 ♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪ 1544 01:17:58,173 --> 01:17:59,692 (grunts) 1545 01:17:59,716 --> 01:18:03,445 ♪ When the ones you love are there ♪ 1546 01:18:03,469 --> 01:18:08,282 ♪ You can feel the magic in the air... ♪ 1547 01:18:08,306 --> 01:18:11,034 - (grunts) Oh, God! - There you go. 1548 01:18:11,058 --> 01:18:12,767 A little stocking stuffer. 1549 01:18:13,560 --> 01:18:17,122 Where is it? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 1550 01:18:17,146 --> 01:18:19,583 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 1551 01:18:19,607 --> 01:18:22,317 - I got to watch. - Fuck! 1552 01:18:23,443 --> 01:18:25,628 Ho-Ho-Holy shit. 1553 01:18:25,652 --> 01:18:27,922 ♪ Christmas will never go away. ♪ 1554 01:18:27,946 --> 01:18:30,632 Gertrude would never trust anybody 1555 01:18:30,656 --> 01:18:33,093 who wasn't blood with this kind of info. 1556 01:18:33,117 --> 01:18:34,802 So... 1557 01:18:34,826 --> 01:18:38,430 the in-laws wouldn't know shit, 1558 01:18:38,454 --> 01:18:40,974 which means that I can shoot her... 1559 01:18:40,998 --> 01:18:42,516 (gasping) 1560 01:18:42,540 --> 01:18:44,518 unless you tell me where the fucking money is. 1561 01:18:44,542 --> 01:18:46,769 LINDA: Please don't, okay? It's Christmas. 1562 01:18:46,793 --> 01:18:48,629 Shut up! 1563 01:18:49,505 --> 01:18:50,899 I swear, I'll blow her brains out 1564 01:18:50,923 --> 01:18:52,316 unless you tell me where the money went. 1565 01:18:52,340 --> 01:18:54,526 I did it! 1566 01:18:54,550 --> 01:18:56,944 - What? - JASON: Okay. Yeah, I did it. 1567 01:18:56,968 --> 01:18:58,863 - I moved the money. - No, d-don't-don't be an idiot. 1568 01:18:58,887 --> 01:19:00,614 - What? - The money's our only leverage. 1569 01:19:00,638 --> 01:19:02,199 Well, my wife has a fucking gun to her head, so... 1570 01:19:02,223 --> 01:19:04,284 Yeah, how did you find out that we were coming, huh? 1571 01:19:04,308 --> 01:19:05,951 I didn't. I was stealing it. 1572 01:19:05,975 --> 01:19:07,119 (Linda sighs) 1573 01:19:07,143 --> 01:19:08,579 - Yeah, coincidence. - ALVA: Oh, my God. 1574 01:19:08,603 --> 01:19:09,954 I was planning to take the money 1575 01:19:09,978 --> 01:19:13,123 and leave with my wife and daughter tonight 1576 01:19:13,147 --> 01:19:15,125 and never come back here. 1577 01:19:15,149 --> 01:19:18,503 Oh, and then my mom would, uh, 1578 01:19:18,527 --> 01:19:20,505 read the note with her whiskey in the morning 1579 01:19:20,529 --> 01:19:22,297 and know what I had done. 1580 01:19:22,321 --> 01:19:24,591 For years, I have been telling you 1581 01:19:24,615 --> 01:19:26,967 to stop caring about your mother's fucking money! 1582 01:19:26,991 --> 01:19:30,245 And you think the solution was to steal a bunch of it. 1583 01:19:31,036 --> 01:19:33,223 Well, it... yeah, it does sound stupid 1584 01:19:33,247 --> 01:19:34,724 when you say it like that. 1585 01:19:34,748 --> 01:19:36,725 ALVA: How can you do this right now? 1586 01:19:36,749 --> 01:19:38,810 It's disgusting. After all that Mother has given us? 1587 01:19:38,834 --> 01:19:41,020 Come on, Alva. Everything she ever gave you, 1588 01:19:41,044 --> 01:19:42,313 she made damn sure we knew 1589 01:19:42,337 --> 01:19:43,564 she had the power to take right back. 1590 01:19:43,588 --> 01:19:47,442 I have spent years groveling to you. 1591 01:19:47,466 --> 01:19:50,236 In the meanwhile, I was destroying 1592 01:19:50,260 --> 01:19:52,279 the only good thing in my life. 1593 01:19:52,303 --> 01:19:53,655 KRAMPUS: What are we doing here, huh? 1594 01:19:53,679 --> 01:19:56,282 Family therapy or doing a heist? 1595 01:19:56,306 --> 01:19:59,535 - Yeah, enough of this sharing bullshit. -(Linda gasps) 1596 01:19:59,559 --> 01:20:01,519 All right. Where'd you put it? 1597 01:20:06,188 --> 01:20:07,666 (Candy Cane scoffs) 1598 01:20:07,690 --> 01:20:10,359 Look at this little idiot. 1599 01:20:14,070 --> 01:20:15,421 Oh, no. 1600 01:20:15,445 --> 01:20:17,257 What? 1601 01:20:17,281 --> 01:20:19,175 - The bad guys found me. - Okay. 1602 01:20:19,199 --> 01:20:21,033 I'm coming. 1603 01:20:27,622 --> 01:20:31,542 You know, booby traps don't work unless you hide them. 1604 01:20:34,210 --> 01:20:35,712 You little moron. 1605 01:20:38,755 --> 01:20:41,091 - (yelling) - Jesus! Shit! 1606 01:20:41,882 --> 01:20:44,218 (Gingerbread continues yelling) 1607 01:20:44,969 --> 01:20:47,113 GINGERBREAD: Help me! Help me! Help! 1608 01:20:47,137 --> 01:20:48,531 (yelling, gurgling) 1609 01:20:48,555 --> 01:20:50,657 You'll be f... (gags) You'll be fine. 1610 01:20:50,681 --> 01:20:52,850 Sit tight. I'll be back in a sec. 1611 01:20:54,310 --> 01:20:55,703 (pained yelling) 1612 01:20:55,727 --> 01:20:58,062 Right after I kill this little piece of shit! 1613 01:21:00,814 --> 01:21:03,209 (panting) You little fucking brat. 1614 01:21:03,233 --> 01:21:05,401 (creaking) 1615 01:21:08,278 --> 01:21:10,989 (grunts, whimpers) 1616 01:21:20,413 --> 01:21:21,622 (grunts) 1617 01:21:22,456 --> 01:21:24,958 (screams) 1618 01:21:28,919 --> 01:21:30,313 (grunts) 1619 01:21:30,337 --> 01:21:32,315 (yelling) 1620 01:21:32,339 --> 01:21:33,899 (squishing) 1621 01:21:33,923 --> 01:21:36,634 (screaming) 1622 01:21:38,760 --> 01:21:41,155 (grunts, yelps) 1623 01:21:41,179 --> 01:21:43,930 (gasping breaths) 1624 01:21:44,723 --> 01:21:46,200 (yells in pain) 1625 01:21:46,224 --> 01:21:48,434 (whimpering) 1626 01:21:50,394 --> 01:21:51,622 (grunts) 1627 01:21:51,646 --> 01:21:53,414 You're dead! 1628 01:21:53,438 --> 01:21:55,940 You're so fucking dead! 1629 01:22:03,112 --> 01:22:05,572 Fucking piece of shit. 1630 01:22:10,618 --> 01:22:13,454 (scoffs) You little... 1631 01:22:23,211 --> 01:22:25,046 (gasping) 1632 01:22:28,256 --> 01:22:30,693 (grunting) 1633 01:22:30,717 --> 01:22:32,760 - Incoming! - (gasps) 1634 01:22:36,137 --> 01:22:38,890 (straining) 1635 01:22:40,308 --> 01:22:41,576 (yelps) 1636 01:22:41,600 --> 01:22:42,893 (chuckles) 1637 01:22:44,603 --> 01:22:46,955 (straining) 1638 01:22:46,979 --> 01:22:48,147 (gasps) 1639 01:22:49,439 --> 01:22:51,459 (groaning) 1640 01:22:51,483 --> 01:22:53,294 (screams) Son of a fucking... 1641 01:22:53,318 --> 01:22:54,777 (chuckles) 1642 01:22:58,072 --> 01:22:59,656 - (crunching) - (screaming) 1643 01:23:01,241 --> 01:23:03,343 (groaning) 1644 01:23:03,367 --> 01:23:05,303 Fuck. (whimpers) 1645 01:23:05,327 --> 01:23:07,096 I got you now, kid. 1646 01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:08,788 Yeah? Heads up. 1647 01:23:09,372 --> 01:23:10,891 (chuckles) 1648 01:23:10,915 --> 01:23:12,517 That's all you got? You fucking... 1649 01:23:12,541 --> 01:23:15,353 (grunts, groans) 1650 01:23:15,377 --> 01:23:17,920 Enough of this shit. (spits) 1651 01:23:25,508 --> 01:23:27,720 ♪ ♪ 1652 01:23:31,472 --> 01:23:33,682 (panting) 1653 01:23:40,896 --> 01:23:42,689 (hammer drops to floor) 1654 01:23:43,481 --> 01:23:44,691 Santa! 1655 01:23:45,692 --> 01:23:47,776 (Santa grunts) 1656 01:23:54,615 --> 01:23:56,843 Hi, Trudy. Hi. 1657 01:23:56,867 --> 01:23:59,679 I made booby traps like in the movie. It was so funny. 1658 01:23:59,703 --> 01:24:02,305 (chuckling): Ho, ho, ho. 1659 01:24:02,329 --> 01:24:04,015 (rustling) 1660 01:24:04,039 --> 01:24:05,874 (grunting weakly) 1661 01:24:08,209 --> 01:24:12,129 Trudy, I want you to, uh... just do me a favor. 1662 01:24:12,963 --> 01:24:15,858 Just turn around and close your eyes. 1663 01:24:15,882 --> 01:24:18,693 Maybe put your fingers in your ears and, uh, 1664 01:24:18,717 --> 01:24:21,738 sing "Jingle Bells" as loud as you can. 1665 01:24:21,762 --> 01:24:23,739 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪ 1666 01:24:23,763 --> 01:24:26,032 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ 1667 01:24:26,056 --> 01:24:28,284 ♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪ 1668 01:24:28,308 --> 01:24:31,244 You were about to murder an innocent child. 1669 01:24:31,268 --> 01:24:32,579 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells... ♪ 1670 01:24:32,603 --> 01:24:34,205 Innocent? 1671 01:24:34,229 --> 01:24:36,206 - It's naughty. - (Trudy continues singing) 1672 01:24:36,230 --> 01:24:37,690 Naughty. 1673 01:24:38,441 --> 01:24:39,876 - Naughty! - (squishing thud) 1674 01:24:39,900 --> 01:24:41,586 It's part of the Lightstone legacy. 1675 01:24:41,610 --> 01:24:43,212 We're horrible people. 1676 01:24:43,236 --> 01:24:45,088 So I get why you did what you did. 1677 01:24:45,112 --> 01:24:47,174 When your grandfather told me I'd never run the company 1678 01:24:47,198 --> 01:24:49,592 because a girl doesn't have what it takes, 1679 01:24:49,616 --> 01:24:51,594 I had to snatch the reins away from him. 1680 01:24:51,618 --> 01:24:53,052 But the point is, 1681 01:24:53,076 --> 01:24:54,804 a Lightstone takes what's theirs. 1682 01:24:54,828 --> 01:24:56,473 I'm proud of you, son. 1683 01:24:56,497 --> 01:24:57,931 All right, where the hell is it? 1684 01:24:57,955 --> 01:25:00,267 (choral Christmas music playing over speakers) 1685 01:25:00,291 --> 01:25:02,209 The money's hidden inside. 1686 01:25:03,376 --> 01:25:06,480 SCROOGE: And the Three Wise Men presented him with gifts 1687 01:25:06,504 --> 01:25:09,340 of frankincense, myrrh... 1688 01:25:11,466 --> 01:25:14,528 and cold hard cash. 1689 01:25:14,552 --> 01:25:15,987 Load it up, boys. 1690 01:25:16,011 --> 01:25:18,239 All right, we're securing the money. 1691 01:25:18,263 --> 01:25:20,324 Kill the hostages and meet us outside. 1692 01:25:20,348 --> 01:25:22,117 What? 1693 01:25:22,141 --> 01:25:24,118 No. (grunts) 1694 01:25:24,142 --> 01:25:25,912 ♪ ♪ 1695 01:25:25,936 --> 01:25:27,371 BERT: Mom. 1696 01:25:27,395 --> 01:25:28,747 It's fine, Bert. 1697 01:25:28,771 --> 01:25:30,248 Everything's fine. 1698 01:25:30,272 --> 01:25:32,334 Okay. 1699 01:25:32,358 --> 01:25:34,251 Everybody, get up. 1700 01:25:34,275 --> 01:25:38,755 (singsongy): It's time for a murder. 1701 01:25:38,779 --> 01:25:41,341 Come on. Come on. You don't want to kill us. 1702 01:25:41,365 --> 01:25:42,674 You really don't. 1703 01:25:42,698 --> 01:25:44,843 Oh, yes, I do. 1704 01:25:44,867 --> 01:25:47,929 I really, really, really do. 1705 01:25:47,953 --> 01:25:49,639 And I'm gonna start with you. 1706 01:25:49,663 --> 01:25:50,972 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1707 01:25:50,996 --> 01:25:52,289 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1708 01:25:53,999 --> 01:25:55,684 You got to kill Aunt Linda first. 1709 01:25:55,708 --> 01:25:57,436 What the hell, Bert? 1710 01:25:57,460 --> 01:25:59,521 You want to squeeze in being a little shit 1711 01:25:59,545 --> 01:26:01,064 before you die, Bertrude? 1712 01:26:01,088 --> 01:26:02,690 - I say shoot him first. - BERT: What? 1713 01:26:02,714 --> 01:26:04,775 ALVA: Wait. No, no, no. Don't shoot him. 1714 01:26:04,799 --> 01:26:06,819 Don't shoot him first. And don't you call him 1715 01:26:06,843 --> 01:26:08,528 a little shit, you gold-digging bitch. 1716 01:26:08,552 --> 01:26:10,238 Okay. I changed my mind. 1717 01:26:10,262 --> 01:26:12,198 - Shoot the alcoholic bitch first. -Don't call my mom 1718 01:26:12,222 --> 01:26:14,282 - an alcoholic bitch. - Your mom's an alcoholic. 1719 01:26:14,306 --> 01:26:16,117 - I'm sorry. - You're a gold-digging bitch. 1720 01:26:16,141 --> 01:26:18,285 Oh, I'm a gold-digger, when I have a whole-ass career? 1721 01:26:18,309 --> 01:26:19,954 You're not even part of the fucking family. 1722 01:26:19,978 --> 01:26:22,705 - She's an engineer. - You know goddamn well... 1723 01:26:22,729 --> 01:26:24,106 Shut up! 1724 01:26:25,648 --> 01:26:27,793 (sighs) 1725 01:26:27,817 --> 01:26:31,903 Just like rats in a barrel. 1726 01:26:32,696 --> 01:26:34,840 Why don't you die with some dignity? 1727 01:26:34,864 --> 01:26:36,675 - (grunts) - (flame whooshes) 1728 01:26:36,699 --> 01:26:38,950 (yelling, grunting) 1729 01:26:39,909 --> 01:26:41,804 Get off of me! 1730 01:26:41,828 --> 01:26:43,555 ALVA: Okay, okay. 1731 01:26:43,579 --> 01:26:44,806 BERT: Fuck you! 1732 01:26:44,830 --> 01:26:47,392 LINDA: This is for yelling at my child! 1733 01:26:47,416 --> 01:26:48,809 ALVA: Creep! 1734 01:26:48,833 --> 01:26:50,352 That's for slapping me, motherfucker! 1735 01:26:50,376 --> 01:26:52,436 ALVA: This is for your dumb fucking hat! 1736 01:26:52,460 --> 01:26:54,880 (grunting, yelling continue) 1737 01:26:57,631 --> 01:26:59,758 (all panting) 1738 01:27:02,093 --> 01:27:03,737 Is he... 1739 01:27:03,761 --> 01:27:05,304 Is he dead? 1740 01:27:09,182 --> 01:27:11,058 Yeah. 1741 01:27:11,851 --> 01:27:13,453 Thanks, Linda. 1742 01:27:13,477 --> 01:27:16,664 Well, it's nice to do something as a family for a change. 1743 01:27:16,688 --> 01:27:17,832 (laughter) 1744 01:27:17,856 --> 01:27:19,541 - (grunts) - (screaming) -Oh, shit! 1745 01:27:19,565 --> 01:27:21,418 KRAMPUS: I'm gonna... (grunts) 1746 01:27:21,442 --> 01:27:24,027 (gurgling) 1747 01:27:25,528 --> 01:27:27,047 ALVA: That was for Morgan. 1748 01:27:27,071 --> 01:27:32,074 He may have been stupid, but he was very, very hot. 1749 01:27:33,451 --> 01:27:35,804 Oh. Trudy! 1750 01:27:35,828 --> 01:27:38,222 - Mommy! - (sighs, grunts) 1751 01:27:38,246 --> 01:27:39,849 Thank God, baby. 1752 01:27:39,873 --> 01:27:41,766 (sighs heavily) Are you okay? 1753 01:27:41,790 --> 01:27:43,518 I'm okay, Mommy. 1754 01:27:43,542 --> 01:27:44,686 Okay. 1755 01:27:44,710 --> 01:27:47,211 This is my friend, Santa. 1756 01:27:51,632 --> 01:27:53,693 What the fuck? 1757 01:27:53,717 --> 01:27:55,527 I can't thank you enough, Mister... 1758 01:27:55,551 --> 01:27:57,863 Claus. But please call me Santa. 1759 01:27:57,887 --> 01:27:59,238 Mm-hmm. 1760 01:27:59,262 --> 01:28:01,365 SANTA: You guys should get out of here. 1761 01:28:01,389 --> 01:28:02,824 It's dangerous. 1762 01:28:02,848 --> 01:28:05,184 They took my husband and her grandmother. 1763 01:28:07,018 --> 01:28:08,621 Anybody know how to work these gizmos? 1764 01:28:08,645 --> 01:28:09,955 I think so. 1765 01:28:09,979 --> 01:28:11,706 I used to hunt with my dad. 1766 01:28:11,730 --> 01:28:12,874 Ow. 1767 01:28:12,898 --> 01:28:14,542 Copy that. How's that looking? 1768 01:28:14,566 --> 01:28:17,377 - Yeah, I got it on lockdown. - Heads on a swivel, boys. 1769 01:28:17,401 --> 01:28:18,712 (gunfire) 1770 01:28:18,736 --> 01:28:20,338 - Incoming! - Heads up! 1771 01:28:20,362 --> 01:28:21,547 (gasps) 1772 01:28:21,571 --> 01:28:23,049 - (bullets whizzing) - Oh, oh! Who's shooting? 1773 01:28:23,073 --> 01:28:24,716 - Who's... - (yelps) 1774 01:28:24,740 --> 01:28:27,910 - PEPPERMINT: Cap, get down! - SCROOGE: Watch it! Watch it! 1775 01:28:28,744 --> 01:28:31,472 (gasping) 1776 01:28:31,496 --> 01:28:32,973 (grunts, sputters) 1777 01:28:32,997 --> 01:28:35,374 Gun 'em down. Mow them all down. 1778 01:28:37,250 --> 01:28:40,002 (whimpering) 1779 01:28:43,296 --> 01:28:45,066 (yells) 1780 01:28:45,090 --> 01:28:47,299 (gunfire continues) 1781 01:28:51,219 --> 01:28:54,031 - All right, let's get the fuck out of here. -Let's go. 1782 01:28:54,055 --> 01:28:56,556 - Go where? - Come on, move, you old bat. 1783 01:28:57,307 --> 01:28:59,267 GERTRUDE: Get your fucking hands off of me. 1784 01:29:01,143 --> 01:29:02,812 (grunts) 1785 01:29:04,771 --> 01:29:07,107 (engines starting) 1786 01:29:08,274 --> 01:29:09,376 (yells) 1787 01:29:09,400 --> 01:29:11,711 Oh! Oh, shit. 1788 01:29:11,735 --> 01:29:15,113 My balls! My fucking balls! 1789 01:29:19,282 --> 01:29:22,118 - (engine sputtering) - (grunting) 1790 01:29:23,661 --> 01:29:25,788 (screaming) 1791 01:29:31,750 --> 01:29:34,586 Ow, my balls! Why did you shoot me in the ball... 1792 01:29:35,545 --> 01:29:38,399 (choral Christmas music continues over speakers) 1793 01:29:38,423 --> 01:29:40,775 Oh, Jesus. 1794 01:29:40,799 --> 01:29:42,443 Sorry. 1795 01:29:42,467 --> 01:29:44,277 (panting) 1796 01:29:44,301 --> 01:29:46,947 Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus. We got this. 1797 01:29:46,971 --> 01:29:49,198 JASON: Who is that guy? 1798 01:29:49,222 --> 01:29:51,850 He said he was Mr. Claus. 1799 01:29:53,642 --> 01:29:55,662 - Fuck. Trudy. - No, no. 1800 01:29:55,686 --> 01:29:57,288 She's in the house. She's okay. 1801 01:29:57,312 --> 01:29:58,664 She's safe. 1802 01:29:58,688 --> 01:30:00,791 - Oh, thank God. - Yeah. 1803 01:30:00,815 --> 01:30:03,066 (both panting) 1804 01:30:04,484 --> 01:30:06,527 ♪ ♪ 1805 01:30:19,912 --> 01:30:21,515 (gun clicks) 1806 01:30:21,539 --> 01:30:22,975 LINDA: No, no. 1807 01:30:22,999 --> 01:30:25,643 - Oh... go, go, go, go, go. - No, no, no. Wait, wait. 1808 01:30:25,667 --> 01:30:27,919 (grunting and groaning) 1809 01:30:31,964 --> 01:30:34,233 (screaming) 1810 01:30:34,257 --> 01:30:35,467 (grunts) 1811 01:30:38,218 --> 01:30:40,179 (panting) 1812 01:30:44,640 --> 01:30:46,075 (grunting, panting) 1813 01:30:46,099 --> 01:30:48,518 (choral Christmas music continues over speakers) 1814 01:30:50,311 --> 01:30:52,706 - (whimpers) - (grunts) 1815 01:30:52,730 --> 01:30:55,440 (screaming) 1816 01:30:57,859 --> 01:31:00,003 ♪ ♪ 1817 01:31:00,027 --> 01:31:02,362 (engines buzzing nearby) 1818 01:31:07,450 --> 01:31:09,034 (yells) 1819 01:31:11,495 --> 01:31:13,913 Oh, shit! 1820 01:31:16,165 --> 01:31:18,958 - Ho, ho! - (engine revving) 1821 01:31:20,668 --> 01:31:21,877 Fuck! 1822 01:31:33,762 --> 01:31:36,656 (choral Christmas music playing over speakers) 1823 01:31:36,680 --> 01:31:38,516 (gasping weakly) 1824 01:31:41,935 --> 01:31:44,579 (straining, gasping) 1825 01:31:44,603 --> 01:31:45,938 (grunts) 1826 01:31:46,939 --> 01:31:48,940 (grunting) 1827 01:31:54,528 --> 01:31:55,904 (yelps) 1828 01:31:58,948 --> 01:32:01,199 (whimpers softly) 1829 01:32:05,452 --> 01:32:08,122 - (gasping weakly) - Fucking die. 1830 01:32:10,790 --> 01:32:13,042 (straining) 1831 01:32:17,337 --> 01:32:19,523 (Linda exhales sharply) 1832 01:32:19,547 --> 01:32:21,590 (coughing) 1833 01:32:23,007 --> 01:32:24,985 (choral Christmas music ends) 1834 01:32:25,009 --> 01:32:26,946 (coughing, gasping) 1835 01:32:26,970 --> 01:32:29,263 (grunting) 1836 01:32:30,931 --> 01:32:33,432 (panting) 1837 01:32:40,980 --> 01:32:43,232 ♪ ♪ 1838 01:32:55,491 --> 01:32:57,660 ♪ ♪ 1839 01:33:01,288 --> 01:33:03,140 SCROOGE: Come on. Come on. Come on. 1840 01:33:03,164 --> 01:33:06,434 Yeah, over here. Over here. 1841 01:33:06,458 --> 01:33:07,709 Santa! 1842 01:33:08,668 --> 01:33:10,479 Come on! 1843 01:33:10,503 --> 01:33:11,938 Yeah. 1844 01:33:11,962 --> 01:33:14,423 (engine revving) 1845 01:33:22,053 --> 01:33:23,781 (screaming) 1846 01:33:23,805 --> 01:33:25,514 (grunts) 1847 01:33:28,017 --> 01:33:30,977 (groaning, panting) 1848 01:33:35,105 --> 01:33:37,167 (grunting) 1849 01:33:37,191 --> 01:33:39,108 (bullets ricocheting) 1850 01:33:44,487 --> 01:33:46,364 (groaning) 1851 01:33:52,493 --> 01:33:54,096 (gun clicking) 1852 01:33:54,120 --> 01:33:55,722 (gasping) 1853 01:33:55,746 --> 01:33:56,997 Fuck. 1854 01:34:02,919 --> 01:34:05,629 (Santa groaning) 1855 01:34:07,881 --> 01:34:10,132 ♪ ♪ 1856 01:34:20,682 --> 01:34:22,725 You're real? 1857 01:34:24,101 --> 01:34:26,519 You're... him. 1858 01:34:29,522 --> 01:34:30,750 You're you. 1859 01:34:30,774 --> 01:34:33,460 That's what I've been trying to tell you. 1860 01:34:33,484 --> 01:34:36,837 The real goddamn Santa Claus. 1861 01:34:36,861 --> 01:34:39,298 This is not your night, pal. 1862 01:34:39,322 --> 01:34:42,425 Oh, I don't know. I think you're wrong. 1863 01:34:42,449 --> 01:34:45,844 I think my whole shitty life's built up to this moment. 1864 01:34:45,868 --> 01:34:47,221 Because when I kill you, 1865 01:34:47,245 --> 01:34:50,538 this whole goddamn holiday finally ends. 1866 01:34:52,290 --> 01:34:54,208 Whatever it takes... 1867 01:34:55,960 --> 01:34:58,020 Christmas dies tonight. 1868 01:34:58,044 --> 01:35:00,630 (yelling, grunting) 1869 01:35:05,050 --> 01:35:07,110 (engine revving) 1870 01:35:07,134 --> 01:35:08,195 (yells, whimpers) 1871 01:35:08,219 --> 01:35:09,404 (grunting) 1872 01:35:09,428 --> 01:35:10,905 (screams) 1873 01:35:10,929 --> 01:35:12,764 (grunting and groaning) 1874 01:35:20,228 --> 01:35:23,398 (both yelling) 1875 01:35:30,695 --> 01:35:33,047 (both panting, grunting) 1876 01:35:33,071 --> 01:35:35,282 (Santa coughing) 1877 01:35:38,784 --> 01:35:41,078 (grunting, panting) 1878 01:35:43,413 --> 01:35:45,248 (Scrooge chuckles) 1879 01:35:50,252 --> 01:35:51,895 Whoa! (grunts) 1880 01:35:51,919 --> 01:35:54,022 (laughs, grunts) 1881 01:35:54,046 --> 01:35:56,423 (grunting and groaning) 1882 01:36:00,259 --> 01:36:03,220 (yells in pain) 1883 01:36:07,890 --> 01:36:10,910 (song playing with indistinct chanted vocal) 1884 01:36:10,934 --> 01:36:13,394 (grunting and groaning continue) 1885 01:36:16,980 --> 01:36:20,108 ♪ ♪ 1886 01:36:33,618 --> 01:36:36,329 (screaming) 1887 01:36:41,291 --> 01:36:44,626 (Scrooge straining) 1888 01:36:47,879 --> 01:36:50,631 (both straining) 1889 01:36:52,841 --> 01:36:54,801 (yells in pain) 1890 01:36:57,636 --> 01:36:59,889 (laughs) 1891 01:37:04,184 --> 01:37:06,119 (screams) 1892 01:37:06,143 --> 01:37:09,355 (grunting and groaning continue) 1893 01:37:17,152 --> 01:37:19,737 The last Christmas. 1894 01:37:20,821 --> 01:37:23,698 (grunting) 1895 01:37:29,578 --> 01:37:32,205 Not if you still believe. 1896 01:37:33,998 --> 01:37:35,976 No! 1897 01:37:36,000 --> 01:37:38,835 (grunting, screaming) 1898 01:37:45,173 --> 01:37:48,301 (laughing) 1899 01:37:49,843 --> 01:37:51,845 (continues laughing) 1900 01:37:54,680 --> 01:37:57,517 (gunfire) 1901 01:38:02,728 --> 01:38:03,997 (Santa grunting) 1902 01:38:04,021 --> 01:38:07,690 I have no idea what the fuck is going on here. 1903 01:38:10,068 --> 01:38:12,194 But this ends now. 1904 01:38:17,115 --> 01:38:18,908 Damn right it does. 1905 01:38:20,867 --> 01:38:22,869 (engines buzzing) 1906 01:38:28,082 --> 01:38:30,250 LINDA: Trudy, be careful. 1907 01:38:31,543 --> 01:38:33,937 (panting, groaning) 1908 01:38:33,961 --> 01:38:35,855 TRUDY: Santa! 1909 01:38:35,879 --> 01:38:38,381 Oh, no. Santa. 1910 01:38:39,841 --> 01:38:41,384 Oh, no. 1911 01:38:44,428 --> 01:38:46,555 (Jason sighs) 1912 01:38:48,180 --> 01:38:50,349 You saved my daughter. 1913 01:38:51,142 --> 01:38:52,684 SANTA: No. 1914 01:38:53,476 --> 01:38:55,037 She saved me. 1915 01:38:55,061 --> 01:38:57,789 Help him. Please help him. 1916 01:38:57,813 --> 01:39:00,290 Honey, I don't think there's anything we can do. 1917 01:39:00,314 --> 01:39:01,542 SANTA: It's okay. It's okay. 1918 01:39:01,566 --> 01:39:03,877 It's too late for that. 1919 01:39:03,901 --> 01:39:06,236 Too late. 1920 01:39:07,028 --> 01:39:09,673 I'm cold. (whimpers) 1921 01:39:09,697 --> 01:39:11,925 I haven't felt cold in years. 1922 01:39:11,949 --> 01:39:13,992 We need to keep him warm. 1923 01:39:14,826 --> 01:39:17,221 All of the fires are going out. 1924 01:39:17,245 --> 01:39:19,538 We need to find something to burn. 1925 01:39:20,873 --> 01:39:22,415 I got an idea. 1926 01:39:25,334 --> 01:39:27,294 Whoa. 1927 01:39:28,837 --> 01:39:30,231 No. 1928 01:39:30,255 --> 01:39:32,399 No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no. 1929 01:39:32,423 --> 01:39:33,525 TRUDY: Please, Santa. 1930 01:39:33,549 --> 01:39:36,551 I don't want you to die. 1931 01:39:39,637 --> 01:39:41,322 ALVA: Jason, let's slow this down. 1932 01:39:41,346 --> 01:39:42,824 What are you doing? 1933 01:39:42,848 --> 01:39:46,118 I've lived longer than any man should ever live. 1934 01:39:46,142 --> 01:39:48,828 He's pretty much dead. What the hell is happening? 1935 01:39:48,852 --> 01:39:50,913 - You don't need to burn money. - JASON: Okay. More. Yeah. 1936 01:39:50,937 --> 01:39:54,374 You can't die, Santa. You have to get up. 1937 01:39:54,398 --> 01:39:56,942 I think I used up all my Christmas magic. 1938 01:39:57,942 --> 01:39:59,569 Sorry. 1939 01:40:01,613 --> 01:40:05,341 I'm s... I'm sorry I can't give you what you asked for. 1940 01:40:05,365 --> 01:40:06,925 (sniffling) 1941 01:40:06,949 --> 01:40:09,219 Take that. Take that. 1942 01:40:09,243 --> 01:40:10,785 TRUDY: But you did. 1943 01:40:13,538 --> 01:40:15,849 Santa, please don't die. 1944 01:40:15,873 --> 01:40:18,393 Wake up. Wake up. 1945 01:40:18,417 --> 01:40:21,061 We need to get him close to the fire. 1946 01:40:21,085 --> 01:40:22,962 Jason. 1947 01:40:23,713 --> 01:40:25,672 (crying): Just wake up. 1948 01:40:26,715 --> 01:40:28,067 Please. 1949 01:40:28,091 --> 01:40:29,967 No. 1950 01:40:34,304 --> 01:40:37,556 Oh, I am so, so sorry. 1951 01:40:42,477 --> 01:40:45,188 - This man... - (Trudy crying) 1952 01:40:46,021 --> 01:40:49,834 This brave, brave man, whoever he was... 1953 01:40:49,858 --> 01:40:51,126 He's Santa. 1954 01:40:51,150 --> 01:40:53,378 The real Santa. He is. 1955 01:40:53,402 --> 01:40:56,488 And I still believe in him. 1956 01:40:57,322 --> 01:40:59,990 I'll always believe in you, Santa. 1957 01:41:04,619 --> 01:41:06,579 I believe in him, too. 1958 01:41:09,581 --> 01:41:12,392 He saved Trudy. 1959 01:41:12,416 --> 01:41:14,669 He saved our family. 1960 01:41:16,629 --> 01:41:18,964 What's realer than that? 1961 01:41:22,925 --> 01:41:24,718 Then maybe... 1962 01:41:27,220 --> 01:41:29,347 I believe in him, too. 1963 01:41:30,180 --> 01:41:31,723 (sighs) So do I. 1964 01:41:32,766 --> 01:41:36,078 Oh, shit. 1965 01:41:36,102 --> 01:41:38,205 I guess... 1966 01:41:38,229 --> 01:41:40,289 I guess I do, too. 1967 01:41:40,313 --> 01:41:42,124 ALVA: Fuck me. 1968 01:41:42,148 --> 01:41:43,941 I believe, too. 1969 01:41:49,070 --> 01:41:51,114 ♪ ♪ 1970 01:41:53,198 --> 01:41:54,342 (coughs) 1971 01:41:54,366 --> 01:41:55,885 (gasps) Oh, my God. 1972 01:41:55,909 --> 01:41:57,076 Santa! 1973 01:41:58,536 --> 01:42:00,222 (Santa grunting) 1974 01:42:00,246 --> 01:42:02,056 (panting) 1975 01:42:02,080 --> 01:42:03,623 JASON: You... 1976 01:42:05,374 --> 01:42:07,418 You were dead. 1977 01:42:08,210 --> 01:42:10,771 Christmas magic. 1978 01:42:10,795 --> 01:42:13,399 I still don't really understand... 1979 01:42:13,423 --> 01:42:15,382 how it works. 1980 01:42:16,967 --> 01:42:19,719 (Santa chuckling) 1981 01:42:21,012 --> 01:42:22,906 Thank you. 1982 01:42:22,930 --> 01:42:24,949 I don't know how we can ever repay you. 1983 01:42:24,973 --> 01:42:27,118 Well, you brought me back from the dead, 1984 01:42:27,142 --> 01:42:28,726 so we'll call it even. 1985 01:42:29,893 --> 01:42:31,079 (scoffs) Even? 1986 01:42:31,103 --> 01:42:33,771 We just burned half a million dollars. 1987 01:42:34,606 --> 01:42:36,207 - Look, Santa! - Hmm? 1988 01:42:36,231 --> 01:42:37,584 Look who came. 1989 01:42:37,608 --> 01:42:40,044 ♪ ♪ 1990 01:42:40,068 --> 01:42:42,111 (reindeer grunting) 1991 01:42:44,780 --> 01:42:48,301 Now you show up, huh? 1992 01:42:48,325 --> 01:42:49,759 You leave me here to die, 1993 01:42:49,783 --> 01:42:52,012 come back after all the work's done, huh? 1994 01:42:52,036 --> 01:42:54,763 You know what? I should make you guys into a stew 1995 01:42:54,787 --> 01:42:57,016 and feed you to the elves! 1996 01:42:57,040 --> 01:42:58,975 (reindeer grunting) 1997 01:42:58,999 --> 01:43:03,729 Yes, Blitzen! Yes, I'm talking to you! 1998 01:43:03,753 --> 01:43:05,880 You, too, Prancer. 1999 01:43:11,259 --> 01:43:13,278 You got my sack. 2000 01:43:13,302 --> 01:43:17,597 My spare... You went home and you got my spare sack? 2001 01:43:19,474 --> 01:43:22,201 Oh, God, I can't stay mad at you guys. 2002 01:43:22,225 --> 01:43:23,786 I... (sniffles) 2003 01:43:23,810 --> 01:43:28,165 (chuckling): Aw. I can't. I can't. 2004 01:43:28,189 --> 01:43:30,940 Aw. (chuckles) 2005 01:43:31,983 --> 01:43:34,085 Aw. 2006 01:43:34,109 --> 01:43:35,653 (sighs) 2007 01:43:38,988 --> 01:43:40,448 (chuckles) 2008 01:43:44,993 --> 01:43:46,512 Hello, beautiful. 2009 01:43:46,536 --> 01:43:48,454 Skullcrusher! 2010 01:43:55,626 --> 01:43:58,962 (takes deep breath) 2011 01:44:01,464 --> 01:44:03,108 Guess this is goodbye. 2012 01:44:03,132 --> 01:44:04,591 I got to go. 2013 01:44:05,467 --> 01:44:07,594 Do you have to? 2014 01:44:08,345 --> 01:44:10,864 (sighs) 2015 01:44:10,888 --> 01:44:13,033 It's Christmas Eve, and there's a lot of... 2016 01:44:13,057 --> 01:44:14,742 boys and girls on the nice list 2017 01:44:14,766 --> 01:44:17,185 that want their presents, you know? 2018 01:44:19,311 --> 01:44:20,979 Thank you. 2019 01:44:21,980 --> 01:44:23,540 For what? 2020 01:44:23,564 --> 01:44:25,209 For believing in me. 2021 01:44:25,233 --> 01:44:28,568 For reminding me that Christmas still matters. 2022 01:44:30,153 --> 01:44:32,589 And that I still... 2023 01:44:32,613 --> 01:44:34,966 matter. 2024 01:44:34,990 --> 01:44:36,509 (sighs) 2025 01:44:36,533 --> 01:44:38,702 You gave me my "ho, ho, ho" back. 2026 01:44:41,412 --> 01:44:43,264 (chuckling) 2027 01:44:43,288 --> 01:44:45,498 ♪ ♪ 2028 01:44:48,583 --> 01:44:50,919 All right. Get out of here. 2029 01:44:54,630 --> 01:44:57,549 Merry Christmas! 2030 01:45:00,093 --> 01:45:01,320 Hyah! 2031 01:45:01,344 --> 01:45:04,698 Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! 2032 01:45:04,722 --> 01:45:06,824 Now, Prancer and Vixen! 2033 01:45:06,848 --> 01:45:10,327 On, Comet! On, Cupid! 2034 01:45:10,351 --> 01:45:13,329 On, Donner and Blitzen! 2035 01:45:13,353 --> 01:45:16,915 Come on, you beautiful bastards! 2036 01:45:16,939 --> 01:45:20,292 We've got some work to do! 2037 01:45:20,316 --> 01:45:23,337 Hyah! 2038 01:45:23,361 --> 01:45:26,047 Ho, ho, ho! 2039 01:45:26,071 --> 01:45:29,258 Merry Christmas! 2040 01:45:29,282 --> 01:45:31,534 ♪ ♪ 2041 01:45:33,034 --> 01:45:35,996 ("Merry Christmas Everybody" by Slade playing) 2042 01:45:40,207 --> 01:45:46,170 ♪ Are you hanging up your stocking on your wall? ♪ 2043 01:45:48,130 --> 01:45:54,051 ♪ It's the time that every Santa has a ball ♪ 2044 01:45:55,802 --> 01:45:59,656 ♪ Does he ride a red-nosed reindeer? ♪ 2045 01:45:59,680 --> 01:46:03,201 ♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪ 2046 01:46:03,225 --> 01:46:09,146 ♪ Do the fairies keep him sober for a day? ♪ 2047 01:46:09,938 --> 01:46:12,374 ♪ So here it is ♪ 2048 01:46:12,398 --> 01:46:14,376 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 2049 01:46:14,400 --> 01:46:18,880 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 2050 01:46:18,904 --> 01:46:22,340 ♪ Look to the future now ♪ 2051 01:46:22,364 --> 01:46:29,346 ♪ It's only just begun ♪ 2052 01:46:29,370 --> 01:46:35,333 ♪ Are you waiting for the family to arrive? ♪ 2053 01:46:37,293 --> 01:46:39,228 ♪ Are you sure you got ♪ 2054 01:46:39,252 --> 01:46:42,964 ♪ The room to spare inside? ♪ 2055 01:46:44,673 --> 01:46:48,194 ♪ Does your granny always tell ya ♪ 2056 01:46:48,218 --> 01:46:51,989 ♪ That the old songs are the best? ♪ 2057 01:46:52,013 --> 01:46:55,200 ♪ Then she's up and rock-and-rolling ♪ 2058 01:46:55,224 --> 01:46:57,534 ♪ With the rest ♪ 2059 01:46:57,558 --> 01:46:59,703 Hey, yo! What's Gucci, squad fam? 2060 01:46:59,727 --> 01:47:02,789 It's the Bert Locker, living the dream. 2061 01:47:02,813 --> 01:47:04,874 You know what? See this guy? Dead as hell. 2062 01:47:04,898 --> 01:47:06,666 Santa's real, all right? 2063 01:47:06,690 --> 01:47:08,543 Don't end up on the naughty list. 2064 01:47:08,567 --> 01:47:09,794 Do better. 2065 01:47:09,818 --> 01:47:11,921 Bert Lightstone out. 2066 01:47:11,945 --> 01:47:13,964 ♪ So here it is ♪ 2067 01:47:13,988 --> 01:47:15,965 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 2068 01:47:15,989 --> 01:47:20,511 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 2069 01:47:20,535 --> 01:47:23,805 ♪ Look to the future now ♪ 2070 01:47:23,829 --> 01:47:29,976 ♪ It's only just begun ♪ 2071 01:47:30,000 --> 01:47:32,436 ♪ So here it is ♪ 2072 01:47:32,460 --> 01:47:34,438 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 2073 01:47:34,462 --> 01:47:37,482 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 2074 01:47:37,506 --> 01:47:42,069 - ♪ It's Christmas! ♪ - ♪ Look to the future now ♪ 2075 01:47:42,093 --> 01:47:49,783 ♪ It's only just begun. ♪ 2076 01:47:49,807 --> 01:47:51,451 (song ends) 2077 01:47:51,475 --> 01:47:53,119 ("Santa Has Had Enough of Christmas" by Dom Lewis plays) 2078 01:47:53,143 --> 01:47:54,829 ♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪ 2079 01:47:54,853 --> 01:47:56,831 ♪ Let's be good ♪ 2080 01:47:56,855 --> 01:48:00,959 - ♪ This coming yuletide ♪ - ♪ Ding dong verily the sky ♪ 2081 01:48:00,983 --> 01:48:03,502 ♪ Or you'll see ♪ 2082 01:48:03,526 --> 01:48:08,589 ♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪ 2083 01:48:08,613 --> 01:48:12,008 ♪ Santa's getting mad, better not be bad ♪ 2084 01:48:12,032 --> 01:48:15,136 ♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ 2085 01:48:15,160 --> 01:48:18,138 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 2086 01:48:18,162 --> 01:48:21,182 - ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ - ♪ Unhappy! ♪ 2087 01:48:21,206 --> 01:48:24,727 ♪ He's told you once, he's told you twice ♪ 2088 01:48:24,751 --> 01:48:27,521 ♪ Too much naughty, not enough nice ♪ 2089 01:48:27,545 --> 01:48:33,049 ♪ Santa Claus has had enough of Christmas ♪ 2090 01:48:34,174 --> 01:48:37,112 ♪ Where's the love and where's the joy? ♪ 2091 01:48:37,136 --> 01:48:40,281 ♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪ 2092 01:48:40,305 --> 01:48:45,660 ♪ Santa Claus has had enough of Christmas ♪ 2093 01:48:45,684 --> 01:48:51,980 ♪ Ah... ♪ 2094 01:48:53,607 --> 01:48:55,501 ♪ Santa's getting mad ♪ 2095 01:48:55,525 --> 01:48:57,627 - ♪ Don't you make Santa crazy ♪ - ♪ Better not be bad ♪ 2096 01:48:57,651 --> 01:49:00,296 -♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ -♪ Baby ♪ 2097 01:49:00,320 --> 01:49:02,882 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 2098 01:49:02,906 --> 01:49:06,551 - ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ - ♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪ 2099 01:49:06,575 --> 01:49:09,720 ♪ If you don't want ♪ 2100 01:49:09,744 --> 01:49:12,806 ♪ Coal this Christmas ♪ 2101 01:49:12,830 --> 01:49:15,933 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 2102 01:49:15,957 --> 01:49:19,102 ♪ Make sure you keep Santa jolly ♪ 2103 01:49:19,126 --> 01:49:22,271 ♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪ 2104 01:49:22,295 --> 01:49:26,941 ♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪ 2105 01:49:26,965 --> 01:49:30,111 ♪ Santa's getting mad, better not be bad ♪ 2106 01:49:30,135 --> 01:49:33,363 ♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ 2107 01:49:33,387 --> 01:49:36,324 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 2108 01:49:36,348 --> 01:49:39,702 - ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ - ♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪ 2109 01:49:39,726 --> 01:49:42,495 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2110 01:49:42,519 --> 01:49:44,163 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2111 01:49:44,187 --> 01:49:47,666 ♪ Don't make him crazy ♪ 2112 01:49:47,690 --> 01:49:49,042 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2113 01:49:49,066 --> 01:49:52,211 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2114 01:49:52,235 --> 01:49:55,213 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2115 01:49:55,237 --> 01:49:58,466 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2116 01:49:58,490 --> 01:50:01,552 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2117 01:50:01,576 --> 01:50:03,345 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 2118 01:50:03,369 --> 01:50:06,555 ♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪ 2119 01:50:06,579 --> 01:50:09,224 ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪ 2120 01:50:09,248 --> 01:50:10,934 ♪ On the first day of Christmas ♪ 2121 01:50:10,958 --> 01:50:12,518 ♪ My true love gave to me ♪ 2122 01:50:12,542 --> 01:50:15,312 ♪ Good King Wenceslas looked out ♪ 2123 01:50:15,336 --> 01:50:18,231 ♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪ 2124 01:50:18,255 --> 01:50:21,359 - ♪ Jingle bells. ♪ - (song ends) 2125 01:50:21,383 --> 01:50:23,426 ♪ ♪ 2126 01:50:44,109 --> 01:50:46,878 ♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪ 2127 01:50:46,902 --> 01:50:50,215 ♪ In heaven, the bells are ringing ♪ 2128 01:50:50,239 --> 01:50:52,281 ♪ ♪ 2129 01:51:09,712 --> 01:51:17,712 ♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪ 2130 01:51:17,801 --> 01:51:19,946 ♪ Hosanna ♪ 2131 01:51:19,970 --> 01:51:27,910 ♪ In excelsis. ♪ 2132 01:51:27,934 --> 01:51:35,934 (music ends) 143994