Original subtitles

IN THE SUMMER OF 2019, THE THREE WISE KINGS

ARE NOT AT THEIR MOST POPULAR MOMENT.

LIKELY BECAUSE OF THIS, GASPAR INVITES A FILM CREW

INTO THEIR PALACE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY.

THIS IS THE RESULT.

Watch out, please. Everything's very fragile.

Thanks, guys.

Hello, welcome.

The rug... Goodness!

My name is...

LOLA MANAGER

Lola Guti�rrez.

And...

Well...

I recently started working with them.

I'm their new manager.

For the Three Wise Kings.

They'll be here soon.

Just a second.

They're being very generous, because...

They've opened the doors to their home.

Just a moment.

Your Majesty, listen...

The documentary crew is here and...

Well, we're waiting for you. Please let me know soon, all right?

Thank you. It's already 10:00 a.m.

Thank you. Lots of love. Thanks.

I'm going to let them know, because... Right?

I'm going to check. Be right back.

Everything's fine.

This is huge, they could be anywhere.

Sometimes, they get distracted because they have a busy schedule.

Hi! Do you know where the Three Wise Kings are?

She doesn't know.

They must have overslept.

They work a lot, so...

I'll just...

Let's see in here.

Come in.

Hi, how are you?

I can hear some voices. I think they're down here.

Let's check it out.

- I told you a month ago. - A month? What year was that?

- This year, next year? - Hello! Your Majesties.

This...

- What's this? - The documentary.

- Today? - What documentary?

I don't want to do any documentary. What does one do in a documentary?

Come on. What does one do? I've told you a million times already.

- You don't have to do anything. - Don't yell at me with your mouth open.

It's impossible to talk to you.

- I just go through a normal day? - They just record you.

I eat, sleep, play the harp, that's the documentary?

- And growling. - That's all.

- That's the documentary. - Really?

- And who is this lady? - Lola, our new manager.

We met the other day, remember?

We've never had a manager, for God's sake.

- Honestly. - Unbelievable. You never ask our opinion.

- You get on my nerves. - You never ask. Listen!

You never ask our opinion! And you know it.

He's right.

Whatever.

I'm sorry. Melchor is...

- He's a bit bonkers. - Yeah.

They're recording already.

He's a stiff.

- Where are you going? - Melchor, please.

THE THREE WISE MEN: THE TRUTH

GASPAR WISE KING

Why a movie now? I'm glad you asked.

Hello.

For the boys and girls around the world,

who must be eager to meet their idols.

A whim.

Would you like to see where the magic is done?

Follow me.

That's Aramaic. It means, "I'll create it on the go."

More or less.

That's magic. Sometimes, it opens a door,

and sometimes, it connects you to a mentally inferior person

who opens it for you.

Shall we?

Hello!

You weren't expecting this kind of modernity. I know.

"The Three Wise Kings are outdated, out of the loop..."

Not at all.

Information technology.

The future, right here, in your hands. Hi.

Can we have some incense?

Melchor has character, strength.

Gaspar is magical.

He's witty.

Then there's me...

You have to tell me which one is my best profile.

Right or left, the most interesting one.

Whatever...

It's not important. There are more important matters than my profile.

BALTASAR WISE KING

Well...

MELCHOR WISE KING

This is our warehouse.

You're doing great, but if you could smile a little...

Thank you.

Okay, this is our warehouse.

Great. But you have to tell us some more. For instance...

How many gifts do you have?

That depends on the year.

Usually, about three billion toys.

- Right. - Billion.

Okay, tell us about how the gifts are wrapped, where they come from...

The overall process. Okay?

- Please. - Of course.

Thanks.

This is our warehouse!

Okay, just... One last thing.

But no laughing. No disrespect, your laughter is nice,

but they want something else.

- Please, Melchi, it's... - Melchi?

Sorry.

Berm�dez, come closer.

Set this up.

Everything's quiet now

because it's September and the letters aren't here yet,

but in December, the office becomes pure adrenaline.

Am I right or am I right?

Canales, please. Cortezo. Rodr�guez, come a bit closer.

Okay, there.

We're a great family. And I'm the father of them all.

The captain of the ship.

Am I right?

What? It's nice, isn't it?

Melchor and Gaspar don't have this.

It's beautiful. Look.

Just wait, because...

I don't usually do this, the pages do.

This is...

This is...

Sorry, like I said, this isn't my job.

My children. I love them. My children.

But these are from last year.

This year's aren't here yet.

What can I say?

To them, I'm their favorite.

No.

No way. No. All three of us are loved very much,

and we're all their favorites.

That's right.

I mean... Perhaps... Perhaps it's me.

What would you rather have?

A gold bar or a handful of myrrh?

- The gold? - Exactly, the gold.

And I do all the work around here.

The warehouse, the camels, the letters...

I don't mean they don't do anything. Magic!

But I'm the one in charge of everything.

Children know that, and their parents too.

If there was no Melchor,

and that's me, there would be no Three Wise Kings.

Magic!

Actually, your question is insulting.

Is this your documentary?

This is it? For crying out loud.

I'm sorry. He's a bit emotional,

a bit passionate, but I mean...

Before doing this,

I was Rozal�n's manager, you know?

And the truth is

she's a wonderful person too.

I fought a lot alongside her

to get her where she is now.

Right now, she's a real success.

Without me, but...

That's how everything started. The Three Wise Kings came after that.

I'm doing great with them too.

We get along fine.

I'm happy.

The mall should provide the thrones. They're the Three Wise Kings.

Well, no. Normal chairs won't do.

- Hi, Mom. Why are you so late? - Sorry. It's because of my job.

Let me finish this call, then I'll be ready.

Sorry.

I don't know, some chairs with gold upholstery...

- Hi. - With high backrests.

- Mom, I'm getting in the car. - I'll be there in a minute.

Come on, it's the Three Wise Kings. The agreement said "thrones."

Thanks. Yes, see you later. Bye.

- Mom, can you fasten my seatbelt? - Sure, honey.

I've had some trouble, but it's...

It's all sorted out now. Let's go, you have to do your homework.

- We're going home, right? - No.

I don't usually go with Mom to her work.

SOF�A LOLA'S DAUGHTER

She leaves me with Carmen, our neighbor.

- But since we're a single-parent family... - Sof�a.

Sof�a...

Yes, we are a single-parent family,

but the two of us... I can do everything.

We do great on our own, don't we?

This guy... I almost rammed that taxi.

SEPTEMBER 28TH 99 DAYS UNTIL THE PARADE

I think...

Whenever you like.

Are we ready?

Okay.

Let's begin the interview.

They were wise men from the East. That's all the Gospel of Matthew says.

JORDI HURTADO JOURNALIST/TV HOST

He doesn't mention how many there were, nor their names,

nor what kind of magic they did.

Following a mysterious star, they arrived in Bethlehem,

where they offered three gifts to baby Jesus.

This gentleman, how old is he? Out of curiosity.

- No idea. - Does he ring a bell?

He does seem kind of familiar, but...

Okay, but...

Let's focus on the subject.

You saw a star

and followed it to a manger in Bethlehem,

where a special child had been born.

Sure. That's about it, isn't it?

- Yeah. - Yes.

Didn't you notice anything special?

They seemed like a normal family. Of a normal social class.

- A normal family... But poor. - Humble.

- Humble and poor. - Yeah, a really humble family.

- Very poor. - That's how our story began.

Under a starry night, with the smile of a very special child in Bethlehem.

We gave them our gifts, said hello, then took off. I mean...

Staying there would have been like forcing them to give us dinner.

Exactly. We were there for... ten minutes?

Who could have known what would happen with that kid?

Would any of you have guessed anything of the sort?

- Impossible. - Neither did we.

No, that's...

Nobody could have predicted it.

We're talking about many years ago.

We're over 2,000 years old.

I'd like to see you at our age.

To see what you can and can't remember.

Right?

What we see is that...

GABRIEL CRUZ JOURNALIST

from around 1950 onwards,

the Three Wise Kings have been losing their influence.

That's undeniable. And, in an increasingly globalized world,

with increasingly similar

behaviors between people, Santa Claus is getting the upper hand.

Okay.

Who says that?

- A journalist called Gabriel Cruz. - Who?

- Gabriel Cruz. - Gabriel Cruz.

He talks a lot, but doesn't say anything.

He does mention something that you should explain.

Would you do it?

- There's nothing to explain. - Will you do it or should I?

We do have to explain, Gaspar. You may not want to.

- But we should. - Okay.

We can keep quiet if you want,

but if we're going to explain it, you should be the one doing it.

Okay, whatever.

Simply put,

at the time, we refused

to take part in a soft drink commercial.

That's it. And who agreed to do that commercial?

- Who? - Santa Claus.

Santa Claus, exactly. A Norwegian

with a white beard and a red jacket that is clearly too tight for him.

And why did we refuse?

Because Gaspar said that was embracing capitalism

and that marketing was a social farce.

- It kind of is. - Here we go again.

- It's true. It is. - True? No, it's not.

You can't say that and then do a documentary, Gaspar.

- We said no at the time. - You said it.

- No. We said... - We said it collectively.

Collectively? What do you mean?

- Is this a collective thing too? - Come on!

You're always in a dichotomy. "I said, but I didn't say."

"I'll explain," but you don't.

You're never happy. If it's not marketing,

it's the documentary... Look.

Own up to your mistakes, Gaspar.

As always, you get up and just leave without facing the issues.

- That's not true! - You never do.

For God's sake!

- Come back here and listen! - I don't want to talk.

- Don't run away. - I'm not talking to you!

- Every time... - Not true.

- We bring this up... - What a shame.

I want my pill box.

This is distasteful.

They get along fine.

Sometimes they argue, but...

But they're okay.

More or less.

Santa Claus does commendable work, a very good job.

He doesn't do the work himself, but he's a good manager.

Yes, we love him.

We love his reindeers, his elves...

This is not a competition. No one needs to win over the other.

In the end, we're all here for the same reason.

- For the children, right? - That's true.

Isn't it? The best example is my daughter Sof�a. Come here.

Sof�a, you get presents from the Three Wise Kings and Santa Claus.

- Yes. - And there's no problem, right?

- What problem? No. - Is something wrong?

- No. - Nothing's wrong.

Nothing's wrong. Very well.

- I like Santa Claus. - There's nothing wrong with that,

but you also like the Three Wise Kings, don't you?

Yeah, well... I like them...

But their clothes smell funny, as if they'd been stored for a long time.

And Santa Claus brings his presents earlier.

DECEMBER 10TH 26 DAYS UNTIL THE PARADE

Your Majesties!

Are you ready for today's event?

More than ready. One for all and all for one.

- Yes. - We're doing great.

Where's Sof�a?

- Sof�a? - Yes.

She doesn't like us either?

Sof�a's at school.

She said she can't wait to go to the mall today.

There'll be tons of kids excited to see you.

Besides, her letter is almost ready. You'll get it in a few days.

Here come the Magi Here come the Magi

All together!

On their way to Bethlehem

Hurray, hurray, the star and hurray

The star is in sight

Only Gaspar now!

There it is, there it is The star is in sight

Baltasar!

Bearing toys Bearing toys

To entertain the child Hurray, hurray, the star and hurray

Only Melchor now!

I won't sing. I don't like singing.

Let alone because Olga asks me to.

Lola.

Lola.

Enjoy this Christmas more than ever by saving with all our products.

- Hey, it's the Three Wise Kings. - Don't you want...

Don't you want to ask the Magi for anything?

No, thank you.

- You sure? - I'm sure.

They are the mysterious Three Wise Kings from the East.

No, I want to see Inmagic.

- Who? - A famous streamer. She's upstairs.

Okay. Thanks. Bye.

ROYAL MAILBOX

- What's this? - What?

What's this?

I don't know...

Only one card, that is no more and no less

than the five of spades.

INMAGIC RECORDING HER NEW SHOW

Performing magic tricks with new cards

Okay. Now...

Look. We're taking this. That's it.

Let's shuffle.

Now look.

Sorry.

Look. I'll introduce myself. My name is Lola.

Sorry. It'll be just a minute. I'm the manager

of the Three Wise Kings, and they have booked us on the same day.

Where? That way? Okay.

- Yes, thank you. - You're welcome.

- Mom, can I have the phone? - Yes.

- What's your name, sweetheart? - Inmagic.

Inmagic.

You're Inmaculada Quesada, from Lucena.

- You were a pain for Ms. Jimena... - What?

Your elementary school teacher. You were always obsessed with magic.

Yes. Actually, Santa Claus brought me a magic box.

Of course, Santa Claus, who else?

Want to meet the Three Wise Kings? No?

You can leave your letters in there.

- In the royal mailbox. - The royal mailbox, yes.

There are lots of letters, you know?

Don't be left behind.

Look, would you like to sit with Baltasar?

Very well. Hello.

- Hi. - What's your name?

- Dami�n. - Great. Now tell me,

- have you been a good boy? - Yes.

- And what would you like? - A selfie.

We'll do it in a minute, but do you want a bike or a video game console?

I want a selfie with Inmagic.

- A what? - I want a selfie with Inmagic!

Look, you can sit in there with Gaspar.

- Hi. - Hello.

Thank you.

The letters.

What's up?

- I love your hat! - Yes, it's great. Really great.

They won't bring you the gifts otherwise.

What?

I was joking. They will bring them.

Hi.

Thank you.

The rivers are murky The rivers are murky

And you can't drink the water Hurray, hurray, the star and hurray

The star is in sight There it is, there it is

Here come the Magi Here come the Magi

On their way to Bethlehem Hurray, hurray, the star and hurray

The star is in sight

It went badly. It went badly.

It went very badly, it's true.

But tomorrow

we have a meeting with a communications agency,

and they will help us.

DECEMBER 15TH 21 DAYS UNTIL THE PARADE

Hello, we have an appointment at the advertising agency.

Your ID cards?

- Our what? - Your identification.

- You were carrying them. - No.

- I gave it to you, with the keys. - What keys?

Good afternoon.

- Good afternoon, welcome. - Hello.

- Mat�as. - Estela.

- Pleased to meet you. - Pleased to meet you.

Mat�as.

Okay, Majesties, if you please,

let's make a brand analysis.

MAT�AS CARMONA ADVERTISING CREATIVE

The Three Wise Kings are a legacy brand, a very powerful brand.

You're huge in the child gift industry, right?

A traditional, national and well-established brand.

Exactly.

But you also have...

ESTELA POZZOLI IMAGE CONSULTANT

some structural weaknesses.

Minimal ones. What are those weak spots?

You're receiving fewer letters every year, right?

- Because there are fewer children. - Fewer what?

- Fewer children. - And the kids are focused

- on cell phones, tablets... - Of course.

They stop being kids too soon.

The Chinese word for "crisis," which you can see here, means

- "opportunity." - We have a huge opportunity.

An incredible opportunity, and we have to seize it.

We're proposing a much more aggressive strategy.

Boom!

Internet, social media...

- You follow me? - Yes.

Guys?

And also,

going forward we can make even more changes.

Because, well, three men...

- Hello? 21st century. - Hello?

- Hello? Diversity. - Hello?

Wait a moment. The feminist issue...

That's different.

But you're not inclusive, you're not diverse.

You are a bit, but not too much.

Thanks for the compliment.

Could we rethink the parade?

I mean, going around a city with camels, giving candy to children...

- It's unnecessary. - It's unhealthy.

But... What do you want to do?

Are you ready to hear some new ideas?

In life, sometimes, changes are good,

because they make us evolve.

Like when there is an earthquake and all the houses tremble

and the crappy ones fall down...

And then you can rebuild.

I mean...

And nobody dies. In my example, nobody dies.

Everyone makes it out alive.

Like the Three Wise Kings now. They are reviving.

I mean, they... The Three Wise Kings aren't dead.

But they do need a change.

DECEMBER 17TH 19 DAYS UNTIL THE PARADE

Good morning! We're starting our day with strength, with energy.

- Good morning. - Morning!

- Who is she? - Azucena, from the agency.

Hi.

- The nutritionist. - Where's our breakfast?

Nothing. All the fat, all the sugar... It's got to go.

We need to change your eating habits.

To look like you, right?

You want to change and feel better with yourselves, right?

ALMUDENA CID ATHLETE

To be more confident. And for that you also need

a healthy and well-balanced diet.

Look, the thing is we're used to...

oatmeal, goat milk,

lamb jerky, unleavened bread...

This has caught us off-guard.

It's good. Without a doubt.

But it's hard to stop

- eating strong cheese. - There's no wine?

No. We need to eat well, to work on our bodies.

Develop some muscles. You're lacking muscle.

A bit of work.

Is it good?

- Exquisite. - It is, right?

- Yes. - How are your bowel movements?

Cereals are good. You can put some in the yogurt.

I'd rather eat these chunks first, then I'll add the rest.

- What's this? - Corn cakes.

I just... Really, it's...

I'm already feeling it. I'm much more...

- Healthy. - No, light.

- That's healthy. - Excuse me?

- Healthy. Yeah. - Healthy, sure.

I'm getting up, because... This was delicious.

Thank you very much, Azucena. And...

It was all delicious.

- Almudena. - Almudena, sure.

He hasn't eaten much. But it's a step.

Your palate has to gradually adapt.

- Boiled. - It's better without the yolk.

- Do you play any sport, Sof�a? - I dance flamenco.

Flamenco! "Grab an apple, eat it and throw it." Yeah?

- And some rhythmic gymnastics. - Can you do this?

- No. - No?

- Step-by-step. - I can teach you.

- Without breaking my leg. - Don't worry, I never break anyone's.

- She's silly. - So cute.

- Well. - Okay.

Okay, let's go.

- See you. - Later.

Okay, guys, let's warm up a little.

- To avoid muscle pulls. - The thing is, this sport isn't really...

- Okay, let's... - How long will this take?

- Like an hour and a half. Not much more. - Okay.

Are we getting in the water or...

Of course. Otherwise, we'd have gone somewhere else.

- Of course. - Okay, let's begin, all right?

- Okay. - Yes? You okay?

- Yes. - Okay. Let's continue.

We've come here to work. Okay. Ear to the shoulder. One and two.

One and two. If you smile, it's much better.

One, two. Can you drop your arms, Melchor?

- Relax. - I'm more relaxed like this.

My God... Up, release.

Up, release. Now forward. One and two. Release.

Up and release.

- Okay, now we'll go up... - Almudena, one more thing.

- There will be some stunts. - What?

- You're going to show me them? - Yes.

Here?

Which ones?

- Stunts. - Side wheels?

- Somersaults? - Yes.

- Sounds like you're saying "to Croatia." - To Croatia.

- "To Croatia." - You thought he was saying "to Croatia."

You couldn't understand.

Let's go to Croatia, sure. This is something.

To Croatia...

Okay, you don't need to move the whole body,

just your hips. Only your hips.

Cannonball!

Let's use the noodles a little bit.

One noodle here. One for Gaspar.

One for Baltasar. Strong abdomen.

Come on! You can do it. Come on, use the noodle!

Good! There it is! Almost.

- What's wrong? - What happened?

- A spasm. - Melchor.

When did it happen?

- Doing the... - With the noodle?

- The rope jumping. - But you're not jumping here,

there's no gravity.

Are you okay?

I knew it...

- I don't get how could he hurt himself. - You'll be okay in a minute.

At some point I was feeling...

- You know? Like... - I think you should sit down.

- Sit down. - I don't get it.

You're trembling. That's because you're not moving.

Do some laps. I want to see you. Come on.

Come on, let's go.

Once back, you'll have stopped trembling.

Get to the end, dear!

- Of course. You'll soon get over it. - It's true.

It hurts a lot.

Get to where Sof�a is!

For instance, we have Carla Blanes. Seven years old, from Matar�, Barcelona.

She's asking

for a bike and a costume. Okay...

ALBERTO FERN�NDEZ IT TECHNICIAN

Let's see what the algorithm tells us.

Okay. She's been very good in math class,

but... She hits her brother too much.

So the algorithm says...

No bike. This year, a book, pajamas, and you're good to go, Carla Blanes.

The computer makes the decision?

Yes. Well, you have to click one last time.

Then the order is sent to the pages,

so they can pick up the gifts from the warehouse.

So, from now on, our job is

to press a button three times with a finger, is that it?

DECEMBER 20TH 16 DAYS UNTIL THE PARADE

The Magi have never brought me anything. I don't like them.

SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERT

There's three of them, that's weird.

Why three guys to bring a gift to a child?

And they're too heterosexual.

The Olentzero is more of a queer icon.

He's nice. And there's a tradition in the Basque Country,

where we make an Olentzero effigy and then burn it.

Basque people.

Okay, new words: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook,

Grindr, Linkedln.

Nobody asks for gifts on Linkedln, but perhaps on Grindr they will.

Excuse me, but I didn't understand a word.

- We now have profiles on gay sites. - What?

Way sites.

Websites.

Yes, but that's not it.

They're social networks where people say things.

But don't take seriously anything they say to you.

- People are frustrated. - What will they say to us?

We're the Three Wise Kings, our job is to give presents.

A lot of stuff. They'll say you're old, that you dress poorly,

that you're misogynist, that you haven't changed in 20 centuries.

And going everywhere on a camel... That's animal cruelty.

- Come on, cruelty... - Nowadays, it's a leading social cause.

Just listen to her. She's the one who knows.

Go like this.

You'd see my cousins with their Scalextric, skis, skateboards,

Monopoly... And I got a book called Il cartello fra...

LORENZO CAPRILE FASHION DESIGNER

Carlo III... Carlo I di Napoli... Carlo III di Spagna...

And his gardener or architect Sabatini.

A book this huge, a real bore. Besides, in Italian.

And I said, "Thank you," but I was thinking,

"Screw Christmas, this is unfair."

We'll put you in something to fill you out a bit, you're too skinny.

Do you have a shirt, Antonio?

The fabric is very airy.

That way you won't be too hot. No, we had a shirt, I think.

Don't you like light clothing?

You have to travel lots of kilometers. This will help.

Can you make it alive with that body?

Horrible. Here.

In the nativity scene we had back home, you were a bit more...

important, let's say.

- Whatever. - It's tight in my armholes.

We'll fix that.

You're so skinny and it's tight in the armholes... Well...

Reality is always disappointing.

Look, I don't think so.

Man. You're a vision.

You're fantastic. You look like Princess Elena.

And this little bow is so cute.

Look...

Lorenzo, we're sorry.

Why? That incident is in the past now.

But I did want to dress you up.

It doesn't seem to be in the past. I'm sorry about your cousins.

There was something embroidered. Let's give it more...

- I understand the crowns. - More volume.

- But does it have to be this headdress? - Of course.

That way you're visible. You have to travel the world.

That way they'll see you.

- It's itchy. - Suck it up.

Stand together. Not bad.

Not bad.

ROC�O HARADA FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER

Hi. How are you?

Baltasar, get in the middle, and closer to the camera.

- Here? - Yes.

And you...

Gaspar, two steps to your left.

- And the pink one, a bit more... - Melchor.

Melchor, that's it. Melchor.

Further back, look to your right.

- Further back. - But...

To my right? The camera is right there.

- Relax, you'll be in the photo. Two steps. - But...

- But I will look confused. - Just...

Trust me.

- A little further. - I'll look like an idiot.

I must be here.

It's normal, guys, don't worry.

Why do you smile?

We're the Three Wise Kings.

- We bring joy... - Have you never seen a promotional still?

What you need to do is connect with your inner pain. Okay?

- Okay. - Fantastic.

Back to your position, please.

Do you think we could promote this on TikTok?

Perhaps they could dance. With a song by Rosal�a.

Your inner pain is that way.

- No. - No.

Old men dancing are cringy.

- Right. - It's embarrassing.

Yes, a bit embarrassing.

No hands.

- Who? Him? - Yes, you're doing great.

- Great? - It's like I'm doing magic...

- Your faces will be all over the city. - Like this?

- A little to your right. - Too close?

Am I not too close?

- So my image is great? - It's okay. There.

Enough. I want this too.

Please, guys. You can get the inner pain look

by thinking you haven't turned off the gas back home.

- She only cares about Baltasar. - No problem.

Don't get nervous. It's fine.

Two more steps. You stay still.

- There? - There.

No smile. There.

- That look. - You like that, don't you?

My gaze communicates a lot.

Look at me.

- Another sprain? - What?

- Did you sprain your leg again? - No.

I'm not in the picture, that's the problem.

Which I don't care about. But since they dress me up like this,

I might as well be in it.

Think about it.

Do you really want to be in the picture dressed like that?

No.

- You don't look great. - Are you making fun of me?

- Are you making fun of me? - No.

- You're laughing at me. - With you.

You're laughing at me.

You think I look like an idiot.

- Don't make fun of me. - No...

I can laugh if I want to, but don't you laugh at my clothes.

Guys, please.

Gosh, they sure are taking this seriously.

DECEMBER 25TH 11 DAYS UNTIL THE PARADE

- Sof�a, be careful today. - Why?

Because Santa Claus is here today,

and the Magi may be a little touchy.

I mean, they get along well, but he's still their competition.

Look, just tell them it was a gift from Aunt Asun. Okay?

Okay.

Why don't you write your letter to the Three Wise Kings?

- I already have gifts from Santa Claus. - You'll get more.

Mom, no. Making so many toys pollutes the environment

- and encourages communism. - Consumerism.

Right.

- Did they teach you that in school? - Yes.

These kids...

They're the best thing in the world.

- But you need to write that letter. Okay? - Fine, I'll write it.

Santa Claus, the man most beloved and most awaited by children,

passed through last night bringing lots of gifts, hope and joy.

Kids awoke this morning to find their stockings filled

with their favorite toys...

It's too low.

And their favorite clothes. Of all the days of the year...

Those chocolate bars are terrible for your stomach.

There's a fake Baltasar. He posts stuff saying he's me.

What's wrong with him?

They insult him thinking it's me.

- Your job is to give away toys. - Precisely. Look.

Soriano73 thinks I should give the same gifts to everyone

- to promote equality. - Okay.

Look at this one. Rodr�guezB@ thinks I give too many gifts,

so children don't make any effort and become weak. Look.

He says they were happier playing with a stick and a stone.

- How can they be happier with a stone? - That's what I think. But...

But wait, they say more things about you.

Leave me out of it.

- Majesties! - I don't want to know.

Majesties, how are you?

I have a surprise for you.

A big surprise.

Thanks. I'll just...

Come, Sof�a.

Sof�a!

- Yes? - What's that toy?

It's a toy.

But I would not recommend it, you wouldn't like it.

This is a first idea, okay? They sent it so we could tell them

what we like, if there are any issues, whatever.

The first float will be a concert.

We're calling Sebasti�n Yatra, C. Tangana, Camilo,

and Zzoilo, okay? And that's just the list of men.

The list of women is infinitely...

- greater. - Wonderful!

- You don't know who they are. - No.

- But if you tell me, I'll search... - No.

No need. They're like... Julio Iglesias.

- But in tracksuits. - Excuse me?

In tracksuits?

They'll introduce us in tracksuits?

What matters is that people see you.

- But seeing us in tracksuits... - No...

They can wear tracksuits, we won't.

- You don't need to. - We'll dress normal.

You can wear what you want.

The tracksuit... Forget it. The thing is...

What we do need for sure is Gaspar's magic.

Suddenly, you're there,

the three of you, on the float, like...

I don't know. Like The Beatles, and...

You disappear. In a cloud of dust.

That magic.

Perhaps... you could fly away.

Gaspar is feeling a bit insecure and nervous

because his magic isn't working. So he's eating a lot,

then he feels sick, and his magic is even worse...

Like the snake that bites its tail. But no problem, there's time.

We still have 11 days to the parade.

So there's lots of time. It will all work out fine.

We really love Gaspar. We want to make that clear from the start.

But we're worried, because he's...

overexcited.

- He's a good person. - Yes, I don't want to talk...

He's a kind person, he's always there for you...

He is, but he stops being there when...

Look, magic is not an exact science.

You can't just do a magic trick whenever you're asked to do one.

Magic...

is very capricious.

It's magic.

Cicadas.

See?

It's capricious.

- Four, five, six. - I have it here.

- Read it. - "What's the title

"of the last album by David Bowie, released two days before his death?"

- She doesn't know. - Quiet!

- You don't know. - Quiet.

- Don't tell her. - I haven't.

- You did. - No.

- Enough. Your turn. - I know it!

- Cheater! - Your turn.

You know too much. You're 2,000 years old.

- Then don't play. - It's unfair.

- It's unfair. - My turn.

- Three. - Another one. I'll read it.

- I'll read it. - Come on.

Hey! Have you seen these filters? They can transform your face.

Cat filter, butterfly, fish... It never ends.

- You can be whoever you like. - I know.

I think you're becoming addicted to that stuff.

You can also let us play. Come on.

Okay.

- She has to read the question. - Read.

- I don't know how to... - Don't worry.

Okay.

- She drooled all over my shoulder. - I'm sorry. Okay...

- Bye. See you tomorrow. - Good night.

- See you on Monday. - See you on Monday. And thanks.

- Very nice, right? - Yes.

- What is? - The marketing campaign,

the parade, the singers in tracksuits... It's a good idea, right?

- Yes. - Tracksuit?

- Well... - Yes.

Good night.

Yes. Good night.

Good night.

If you want,

you can sleep

in the stable. It's warm. We have no room inside.

DECEMBER 30TH 6 DAYS UNTIL THE PARADE

There they are. They're here.

Hello.

How are you? Lola.

- Good morning. - Hi.

- Hello. - How are you, Lola?

- Sergio, the choreographer. - How are you?

- Hi, Sergio, I'm Lola. - Hi. Nice to meet you.

- Hi, guys. - Hello.

Sorry.

- The choreographer. - Pleased to meet you. Dancers.

Melchor and Gaspar.

- Looking forward to it? - Yes.

SERGIO ALCOVER CHOREOGRAPHER

How are your dancing skills?

- Great. - Great.

- Hello. - Hi! How are you?

- It's great to see you! - You too.

- You're looking great. - Thanks.

Okay, should I introduce you?

- Sir, how are you? - Hi.

- Glad to meet you. - Baltasar.

- I know. I'm Sergio. The dancers. - He's so eccentric.

- Hi! - What's up?

Baltasar, I want you to meet Rozal�n.

ROZAL�N SINGER

- She wants to meet you. - Excited to meet you.

You're my favorite Wise King. Can I take a picture for social media?

- Social media? - Yes, please.

Thank you very much. I really admire you.

There.

Thank you very much. Thank you. So cool!

Look...

- Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom. - Okay.

Baltasar.

I think Baltasar...

This is too much for him.

He's like a little kid.

This is going to his head.

- The cameras... - Yeah, he likes...

I don't know.

But well, I'm not...

I would never speak ill of him.

Do you have nail clippers?

One, two, change, change, down. And up.

Okay? Again. One, two, three...

Why are you looking at the floor?

Stop. Don't look up either.

We'll start from the beginning.

You do the leg movement, then the arms.

You need to add this to the leg thing.

Again. Twice. Five, six, seven.

One, two, three, four.

Five, six, seven and...

Eight. And one, two,

three, four. Again. Five, six.

Wait. I'm going crazy.

- There are two choreographies. - I missed the eight.

Okay. We have to try at the same time.

Again, all right?

Five, six, seven and... One, two,

three, four. Five, six. Impossible. And eight. And one,

two, three and four, five, six,

seven and... We have a problem.

- Will they see his underwear? - I think they will.

Okay? Yes?

Yes, great.

It's great. It's cool.

Yes. Okay...

I think this won't work.

And down.

Okay? You need to squat all the way down.

And now... No, squatting.

Let's stop for a minute.

I think you're looking good.

- Please, cover up. - No, but...

Why are you laughing?

- Some water? - Can we have water?

He tells us to open our legs...

- I don't get it. - You're doing great, guys.

- I like it. - Are you willing to dance with these guys?

- This is for life. - I don't know, positive reinforcement.

You tell me. She's the one going on stage with them.

- Yes. - I prepare the choreography,

but after that...

- With rehearsals, they can pull it off. - Yes, yes.

Where are they going?

- How are you? - I'm okay, but let's go.

What happened?

- We're leaving. - What is he doing?

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Listen to me.

I'm sorry.

I don't know, all this dancing...

- And social media? - What?

We could do a TikTok dance, or a challenge.

- I don't know. The social media stuff... - He doesn't like social media.

Don't worry. Everything will be okay.

Let's get some air, you can have a coffee,

then everything will look different.

Some more rehearsing and you'll see it clearly.

Social media is overwhelming Baltasar a little.

They must have insulted him. But that's another matter.

I've talked to him. I've calmed him down. I've told him we'll manage

to do the dance, because it's all about rehearsing.

There's still four days left until the parade. More than enough.

I'm not saying he can't do other things...

wonderfully well.

Whatever he does.

But if you're dancing, don't compare yourself with me.

JANUARY 5TH 9 HOURS UNTIL THE PARADE

Hello.

Come on.

Okay. We're a bit nervous, aren't we?

- Yes. - But good nervous, like...

Excited, enthusiastic, because tonight's the big night.

Did you write your letter to the Magi?

- Yes. - You didn't write it.

- I forgot. - It's okay.

We must focus on what's important.

Hi.

Estela.

D-Day.

Exactly.

It will be awesome. A historical day.

After all the changes we've made,

after so much synergy...

Come on, Estela.

- Excuse me. The Majesties? - Hello.

Hi.

We'll change all this.

Hello.

- Do you have it? - Yes.

The post office is not picking up.

The budget, Baltasar, please.

I need you to sign it.

This magic is really nice,

but what about our IT team?

I mean, what was the point?

- Who's Cardo? - Ricardo.

Gaspar.

We sent you an email with everything that needs to be addressed.

- Didn't you say your magic wasn't working? - Yes.

But well, it turns out

that the smiles and excitement of all the boys and girls around the globe

feed the fantasy world.

What?

Well... I don't know, really.

It goes back and forth,

but it works, right?

Yes, it works.

Okay, about the gifts...

It was an exception.

Because we were nervous. It won't happen again.

It's our routine. In the end, we've been doing it for a long time.

It's normal we end up repeating patterns.

Yes. We did it that way. Now it'll be different and better.

We'll stick to the plan.

This will only bring trendier Wise Kings,

fresher, more up-to-date.

Yes, "up-to-date" is the word.

Wise Kings 1, 2, 3.0.

1, 2, 3.0.

What's this?

Can you help me?

I guess it's like this.

It doesn't fit, I don't get it.

- There. - You've gained weight.

How could I?

There was a box full of buns above the fridge and it's gone.

Who knows. I didn't eat those.

- No? - No.

It's itchy!

On the outside?

I just... I wanted to give you...

Hello.

Hi.

What does it say?

Nothing, she wants a drum set.

- Nothing else? - No, just a drum set.

Well, it also says something about us.

Pages on the left, fairies at the back.

When they're done with your hair, go into the dressing room.

Majesties, welcome, we've been waiting for you.

Please follow me, I'll show you where you can get ready.

You can start setting up here. I'll be back here.

If you need anything, let me know and we'll fix it.

This... Okay.

Are you going to use make-up?

I don't want to.

They say the lights emphasize our flaws.

We look like space matadors. These aren't first century outfits.

I don't like the candy thing either.

I understand child obesity and dental health,

but it's a pity.

Dental health. Come on!

And the camels? We brought them here and for what? They're just scenery.

- It's not like we were that bad. - Of course not.

- No. - Sorry. No. Thanks, but no.

- Wait. - Thank you. No. Thank you.

- Mom, what's going on? - I don't know.

This one.

What's happening?

Change of plans.

That's right.

The sunglasses are in the dressing room.

I've told you already. I won't repeat it again.

- Yes. - Yes.

No. What are you doing?

Where are the new costumes, what we talked about?

I know we're a bit rusty, but this is who we are, and we're cool.

- We'll do the parade as usual. - And that's that.

That's that? But... What about the musicians?

All these people have come to work!

- They can come. - Of course.

- Let's go all together, why not? - Because it'll be weird.

We're all weird, Estela.

Hurray!

Hurray!

Hurray!

Hurray!

What about the new costumes? And their clothing? And the candy?

This is like being the manager of the Marx Brothers.

Would you like to throw gifts?

- Be careful not to hit someone in the eye. - Of course not!

We're now seeing Melchor, I don't dislike him.

- I just prefer the middle one. - So Melchor's not your favorite.

- No, Gaspar is. - Okay.

He goes unnoticed, because he's the one in the middle,

he gets less press... But he gives just as many gifts.

- The one I prefer is... - What about you?

Baltasar. Because he gets less attention.

Come on, it's very late.

- But it's not a school night. - But it's late.

But the Three Wise Kings are coming.

But you won't see them, because nobody ever does.

Come on, let's go to bed.

We're going to sleep.

That's enough, isn't it? I mean...

I think there's nothing else to tell.

- Right? - Cut.

I can't sleep.

I'll try to catch the Three Wise Kings.

I think I heard something.

Sof�a, sweetheart, how are you?

- I'm good. - Hi!

- These cookies are stale. - They are?

Yes. Hi.

Don't tell anyone you've seen us, all right?

It's a secret.

Yes.

Now go to bed, it's very late.

SINCE THAT JANUARY, THE THREE WISE KINGS PROMISED

TO STAY TRUE TO THEMSELVES AND HAND OUT GIFTS AS ALWAYS.

IN FEBRUARY, GASPAR CREATED A PROFILE ON TIKTOK

AND A STREAMING CHANNEL.

HE STILL HASN'T MANAGED TO MAKE THEM WORK.

Cecilia asks, "Where are the Three Wise Women?" Good question.

Where are the Three Wise Women Ding-dong, ding-dong

At the bottom of the sea...

Ask your father, he can tell you.

Luc�a asks,

"Who brings us gifts on Christmas."

Who do you think?

I'll give a gift to Gaspar and Melchor

so that way we can exchange presents.

Jimena asks, "What do you think of Baltasar?"

That he's a child.

Huggable.

Immature.

Lea asks,

if the pages have to pay into Social Security.

And Luc�a asks what I think of Gaspar.

Gaspar...

He's like a brother you sometimes wish you didn't have

because he's annoying.

"What do you think of Melchor?"

He's like a has-been John Wayne.

That's Santa Claus.

What's the best part of my job?

The stable, the garden, the pool...

The Porsche.

And the children.

Let's not forget about them. Children are very important in my job.

Without them, I wouldn't have this empire.

Translated by Facundo Ortiz