Original subtitles

Previously on The L Word: Generation Q...

[grunts]

Oh, shit!

[Tess] You should not be fucking around in here.

[Shane] Ill just stay out of your way then.

You kind of have a pattern.

Is that what you think about?

-When you think about me? -Sometimes.

Contestant three, I choose you!

-[confetti popping] -[Alice] Youre not regular.

-[Taylor] Yes, I am. -[Alice] Well, so am I.

Theres a 45-foot picture of you outside.

Guess whos coming to town tonight?

Roxy!

[quietly] She is into you.

[Dani] Do you want to go home with me?

[Roxy] Im halfway out the door, baby.

I just cant stop thinking about this person.

[Sophie] When are you gonna stop punishing me, Fin?

[Patty] I dont want to be your patient.

[Tess] Mom, I dont mind.

[Patty] I want to go live in the nursing home.

-I want to have a baby. -[Micah] My mom

doesnt even know were dating yet.

[Bella] So, whos the guy?

[Angie] Its just the fact that its really new

and nobody knows.

-Okay. -[Bella] A secret boyfriend?

-Who are you? -I can show you who I am.

[Taylor] Well, its not a bad start.

[Shane] As much as Id like to,

I cant.

-Fuck you, Shane. -♪ I dont find trouble ♪

-Ah! -♪ Yeah, trouble finds me ♪

♪ Ladies make the ♪

♪ Ladies, ladies ♪

♪ Ladies make, ladies make the world go round ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

Yeah, I couldnt get middle seats,

but I did get a row where theres no one behind us,

so we dont have to worry about

people kicking our seats.

[Shane over phone] Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.

Ill just...

Ill find you guys when I get there.

[Alice] Oh, its just us.

Um, Taylors got to work.

But, can you please not be late?

Cause you know how I like to watch the previews.

I know that.

I know, I know, I know. I promise.

Im gonna be there at 7:30 sharp.

Okay. Im gonna get two popcorns though, cause I dont

like to share. But then sometimes Im like, should I

-get a medium... -Okay, okay, bye.

-Oh... -Hi. How are you?

I just started packing these for your mom.

Okay.

Are those...?

[Tess sighs]

I-I think we should talk about this.

I dont really have anything to say to you right now.

-All right. I just, uh... -(buzzing)

-I dont know... -Oh. Oh, my God!

-What? -Is that a bee?

-What? -Oh, my God. Go!

-Okay, okay, okay. -Get it.

Okay, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.

Well, dont kill it. Wh-What are you doing?

-Its right there. -Okay, yes.

Who said anything about killing it?

-Hold on. -Okay, well, just, I dont know.

Theyre just endangered or whatever.

-Okay, good. -Its fine.

I wasnt gonna kill it.

[sighs] Fine.

Can you open the door? Tess, do you want me

to release it here in the kitchen?

-Okay, no, but just-- -Open the door. Come on.

-Keep... Wait. -What?

Keep it away from me.

Come on, come on, come on.

How do you fucking do this?

I know, I know, it sticks. Just open it.

Oh, goddamn it.

-No, dont get it near me. -All right.

-Its all right. -Okay, but just wait, let me,

let me close the door first. Let me close the door first.

Okay.

Okay. Okay, go.

-(buzzing) -All right, its gone.

Are you all right? We survived.

-Whew. -Are you allergic?

I just, Ive never seen you act like this.

I dont know. Maybe. Those plants need watering.

What?

-What? -This is locked.

No, its not.

Its jammed. Its not locked.

[rattling]

[grunting]

Its locked.

Oh, my God. No, no, no, no.

Please tell me you have your phone on you.

Do you?

No.

Are we fucking trapped out here together?

Well, its certainly feeling that way. Yeah.

Youre fucking kidding me. Oh, my God.

Uh-uh, no. Hello!

What, um, what is his name?

-Harvey. -Harvey!

The-the wife, the wife... What is the wifes name?

Ellen.

Ellen! Why the fuck...

They are never home!

Mack. Mack. Mack!

Mack! Mack!

There we go. Come on.

Be the hero, Mack. Be the hero.

Honey, up here. High-five me. Come on, baby, high five.

-Paw. -[Tess] Oh, my God.

[Shane] Paw, Mack, paw.

As if the dog can open the door.

Do you have a better suggestion?

Mack, come on, big boy.

Come on. Come on.

-Come up here. -Oh, my God, is anybody

-gonna find us out here? -Listen to your mom.

Mack, Mack. Mack... No, Mack.

Ah, fuck!

[sighs] You wanted to talk, right?

Okay, lets talk.

♪ Baby, you could be the death of me ♪

♪ Maybe Im crazy ♪

♪ I know youre danger ♪

♪ Baby, you could be the death of me ♪

♪ Im falling, fading ♪

♪ And seeing angels ♪

♪ Baby, you could be the death of me ♪

[door opens]

G, are you busy?

Please say no cause I kind of have a she-mergency.

What? What happened?

Promise you wont judge me?

-I promise. Wh...? -Um, okay,

So I was at the Lambda Chi house and one of the baseball guys

-was eyeing me. -Uh-huh.

I love how the booty looks in those pants.

Im not sure I can help you out with that one but--

We started making out in his room.

He had, like, no bedsheets, by the way.

-Ew. I... -Angie...

theres a condom stuck inside me

and you got to help me get it out.

Please.

-♪ Something about that ♪ -A what?

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪

[Sophie] Okay, so...

what do you want to know?

-[clears throat] -Oh, man, okay.

[chuckles] Um...

-Whats their name? -Um, Dre.

-She has a hot persons name. -No, that is not

a hot persons name.

No. No.

Theyre not hot.

Okay.

That actually makes me feel a little bit better.

Okay, good. Good.

Um, how did you meet them?

Um, I-I met them on Hinge.

Hinge? When did you join Hinge?

After you left rehab

and decided you were gonna stay at sober living.

Up in the Bay.

I got lonely.

[sighs]

Uh, how many times?

How many times, what?

How many times did you sleep together?

Once.

So, you had a one-night stand?

[Sophie] Basically.

-What does that mean? -We...

we slept together once, but we hung out twice.

Okay, so you liked them enough to call them again.

I guess so.

[clears throat] Uh...

Why did it end?

Because I was in love with you.

[scoffs]

And I told them that, and then that was it.

-[Finley] Yeah? -Yeah.

[Finley] Okay.

Right answer.

[both chuckling]

Why didnt you just tell me?

♪ gentle music ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

Because... you were doing so well and...

I didnt want to be the reason you werent doing well.

[sighs]

Are they as charming as I am?

-No! -[laughs]

No way.

Got nothing on you.

Yeah?

♪ upbeat, energetic music ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

Yeah. No, I love you, too.

I said I love you, too.

Okay, yeah.

Okay, bye. [laughs]

She knows.

My mom knows that were dating.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

How scared should I be of Grace?

No, shes... shes totally into it.

-Come on. -Oh, my--

-Should we celebrate? -Sure.

You want to find a sperm donor?

Whoa, that is way better than what I was going to say.

What were you going to say?

-Organize the Tupperware drawer? -Oh, yeah.

Okay, well, maybe we could be wild and do both.

Can we be in bed by 9:00?

-Maybe, uh... 8:30? -[laughs]

Shut up. What a dream!

Okay. Ill get started on the lids.

Okay. Mwah.

♪ gentle, optimistic music ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

No, no. I dont want to hear how sorry you are.

Okay, then, what do you want to hear?

Nothing, actually.

Theres nothing that you could say.

-So just... -Okay.

Then Ill say nothing, and then youll say nothing.

And sure, yeah. That sounds like fun.

Yeah, it does.

I know youre thinking something.

Im thinking that Im an idiot.

-Youre not an idiot. -Oh, yes, I am.

Because I knew about you.

Your reputation. Everybody does.

[scoffs]

But what-what I dont understand is this...

Is this really what you do? Is this really who you are?

You know who I am.

I thought I did.

I also thought that you loved me.

I do love you.

You have a really fucked-up way of showing it, Shane.

Youre right. I do.

I understand that.

I didnt mean to hurt you.

I didnt.

Well, you failed miserably at that then.

I do want to know why though.

Just an old pattern.

Yes, but why?

I dont know why.

Okay.

Then how about you take this time

while were locked out here on your fucking patio

and think about it.

[Angie] Okay, so what the website said to do

is to get into the position

that you would to put in a tampon.

Okay.

Wait, thats how you put in a tampon?

-How do you do it? -Like this.

Oh.

Okay, and then it said

you need to, like, put your fi--

two fingers, and like a, like a hooking,

like a hook, hook, hooking situation.

-Okay. -To try to get it out.

-Okay. -Okay.

Mm.

♪ pulsing, intriguing music ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

Mm, I-I cant tell whats me and whats the condom.

Just feel for something slimy.

Well, everything is slimy. [grunts]

-Ow, ow, ow. -Oh, no, whats wrong?

-Whats wrong? -Mm.

I picked the wrong day to get my claws done.

Ow! Okay, okay. This isnt working.

-[panting] -Just calm down.

Just calm down.

Thats, like, the main thing. Youre okay.

-Okay, okay. -Take a deep breath.

Okay, okay.

[breathes deeply]

Angie?

What?

Will you please get it out for me?

♪ Gotta move things forward, everywhere I go ♪

[Roxy over voice mail] Hey, D-bag, its Roxy.

I caught an early flight to Costa Rica.

Good job crying it out the other night.

The real deal is gonna happen

-for you soon. Trust me. -No, no, no. Oh, yo! Yo!

-Whoa, bro! -Hey, hey, hey. Watch it!

♪ upbeat music ♪

[exhales] Oh, shit.

You good?

♪ Yeah, I get it, its all happening quickly ♪

Yeah.

The scooter almost took you out. [laughs]

Yeah. [laughs]

♪ When Im crying all night ♪

I think you might have just saved my life.

[chuckles]

♪ From my mouth, huh? ♪

I feel like I should kiss you right now.

But, I mean, I wont

because this is real life and not a shitty rom-com.

♪ Im trying, Im trying hard ♪

♪ Still you managed to get me with my guard down ♪

♪ How? How? How? ♪

♪ I like it, dont stop now ♪

Im so sorry. [laughing]

No, no, no. No. Dont, dont apologize.

-Im sorry. [laughs] -No...

I just, I didnt mean to just kiss you, it just...

♪ Whoo-ooh-ooh ♪

[announcer] Next up, we have...

What do you think? You gonna, uh...

sign up, serenade me again?

[laughs] That was a good move, okay?

-It was. -It sure was.

It worked. I believe I went home with you that night.

-Oh, you sure did. -You got me.

Wheres my song?

Oh, you do not want to hear this bad boy sing.

-Yes, I do. -No.

Sing for me, please.

Sing something in my ear. Go.

[sings goofily]

[both laughing]

Okay, stop, stop,

youre hotter when you dont.

Okay. See, I told you.

-[laughs] -But I do have something

that, um, you might like way better

that Ive been thinking about all day.

Yeah, what?

You want to meet me in the back office in ten?

Really?

Yeah, Im the, uh, big boss tonight.

Ooh, big boss. Big boss lady.

Yeah, Im in charge.

[Dani] Ew.

-[Finley] Oh. Sorry. -[Sophie] Sorry.

-Im kidding. Hi. -Hi.

-Uh, can I get you anything? -Yes.

Ill have a tequila rocks.

-Okay. Nothing cheap. -Okay. No, I know, bud.

Ive been to your house. Okay? [clucks tongue]

-Okay. -So, uh...

-Wait, wheres Roxy? -Oh, shes...

shes off to Costa Rica because of course she is.

Can I tell you something

without you being totally judgy?

-Uh, when have I ever? -Okay.

I just kissed this really hot person.

[chuckling] What?

-Yeah. -Okay.

Im thinking maybe Ill have, like a,

like a hot girl autumn or something?

Oh, my God.

I love this for you!

They saved my life.

-Did I mention that? -No.

I was literally

like J.Lo in The Wedding Planner.

Oh, my God, you get to be J.Lo in The Wedding Planner?

I fucking love that movie.

-Me too! -Wait,

but also problematic culturally... [hisses]

Oh, yeah,

but everything in the 2000s kind of was.

[Sophie] I know.

What, what?

She was playing an Italian person.

-J.Lo is Puerto Rican! -Right.

And what was that, the-the guy with the shitty accent?

Oh, my God, what was his name?

[both] Massimo!

[both laughing]

-Oh, my God. -So cheesy.

Oh, God, we loved Massimo. Oh, my God, wait.

What did J.Lo say when Matthew McConaughey

saved her fucking life? It was, um...

Oh, she goes, she goes, "You saved...

[both] ...my shoe."

[laughs]

Wow, we have a ton of options here.

Well, the, uh, the rock climber sounded promising.

Eh, hes only five-seven.

Six-plus or bust. We are not messing around here.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

-Are you serious? -I mean,

why not? If you have the option to.

My family are all shorties.

We have to average it out somehow.

Right. Okay.

Okay, I definitely think

that we should go with the athletic body type.

This is weird. Its weird. Its weird.

Why?

-It kind of feels like eugenics. -What?

-No! Ew, no. -Come on.

Im sorry but, you know, choosing physical traits,

-its-its weird, right? -No, its not.

Look, we have a chance to design the perfect baby.

[sighs]

Yeah, its eugenics.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Um, also, this is insane.

Why do we have so much Tupperware?

We have a problem.

[ambient music playing]

Oh. Shane!

Psst, Shane!

Oh.

Thats not Shane.

[Taylor] It makes sense, but, like,

this is like wax and sugar. Is this good?

Oh, yeah, thats great.

♪ intriguing music ♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪♪♪♪♪

You can have the salty popcorn.

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

[Tess] Sex always means something.

To me it really is... just sex.

So what, are you like proposing we do ENM or something?

-I dont know what that is. -Ethical Non-Monogamy.

Its like multiple partners.

No, no, no, no, no. I just...

I wanted you.

Well, it does not feel like that.

Are you an addict?

-I dont know. -Because when I think about

your behavior like that, like, it makes more sense to me.

M-Maybe I am.

O-Okay.

-Okay, then... -Its not that simple though.

Its just, its been a lot.

Hasnt it?

Admit that. Please.

Uh, okay.

When you moved in here, it was great.

It was. And then, and then your mom comes.

Oh, my God, that is not fair.

You said that you wanted her to move in.

[Shane] Wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no.

Let me finish.

Im glad she came here.

And Im so happy we could help her.

I dont regret that.

We also have Danas.

And then you want a second bar. [chuckling]

And somewhere within all of that...

...you changed.

And you stopped seeing me.

Im not trying to blame you.

Im just trying to explain this.

There was a disconnect.

[Tess] Yes. Okay, yes.

Like, its... Its been hard.

But you know

what I did when I started feeling like it was too much?

I wrote in my fucking journal,

Shane.

I didnt go out and fuck the first person

that showed me some kind of attention.

I know. Youre right.

Yeah, no shit, Im right.

[sighs]

[Sophie] Anyway, hows work?

-Its good. -Yeah?

Yeah, um, Im actually throwing

Fletchers album release party in a couple of weeks.

Fletcher?

-Mm-hmm. -Can I come?

-Yeah, everyone can come. -Wow.

Yeah, I feel like things are finally turning around.

-[clucks tongue] -Yeah.

Can you, can you play this one?

-Ill give you the signal. -All right.

Oh, my God. Thats them.

[Dre] Dang, this mic is high.

Let me just...

There we go.

-Hi. -Oh, my God.

I know, right?

Hey, everybody. Im Dre.

[applause]

Thats... thats them.

Thats, thats, thats the person

I slept with when...

No.

-Yes. -[Dre] Okay...

No.

Fuck, I have to find Finley.

Fuck!

♪ tense music ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

[Sophie] Hey, um...

Its-- okay, look, its not a big deal

or anything like that,

but...

I missed you.

[Dre] ♪ I dont want to be ♪

-♪ Alone tonight ♪ -I missed you, too.

♪ Its pretty clear that Im not over you ♪

♪ Im still thinking bout the things you do ♪

[crowd whooping]

♪ So I dont want to be alone tonight ♪

♪ Alone tonight, alone tonight ♪

[heavy breathing]

♪ Can you light the fire ♪

♪ I need somebody ♪

♪ Who can take control ♪

♪ I know exactly what I need to do ♪

♪ Cause I dont want to be ♪

♪ Alone tonight, alone tonight ♪

♪ Alone tonight ♪

♪ Look what you made me do ♪

♪ Im with somebody new ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪

♪ Im dancing with a stranger ♪

♪ Look what you made me do ♪

♪ Im with somebody new ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪

♪ Im dancing with a stranger ♪

♪ I wasnt even going out tonight ♪

♪ But, girl, I need to get you ♪

♪ Off my mind ♪

♪ I know exactly what I have to do ♪

♪ I dont want to be ♪

♪ Alone tonight, alone tonight ♪

♪ Alone... ♪

[panting]

Im sorry.

-You all right? -Yeah, yeah, I just...

-Im sorry. Im sorry. -Its okay. Are you okay?

Um... [sighs]

I just dont think that I can, um,

-I can do this right now, um... -No problem.

We dont have to do anything you dont want to.

[panting]

♪ Dancing with a stranger ♪

Theyre here.

-Whos here? -Dre.

♪ Look what you made me do ♪

-♪ Im with somebody new ♪ -Look...

♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪

-♪ Im dancing with a stranger ♪ -Finley...

-♪ Look what you made me do ♪ -Wait.

♪ Im with somebody new ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪

♪ Im dancing with a stranger ♪

[cheering]

♪ Im dancing with a stranger ♪

♪ Im dancing with a stranger ♪

♪ Im dancing with a stranger ♪

[alarm blaring]

[crowd murmuring]

Have you ever been to therapy?

No.

Well, would you consider it?

Yeah, I mean...

...if I thought it would help.

-Im not against it. -It does work.

I know that you have been through so much.

I try to remind myself of that

every... every time I think about that you...

Just say it. I cheated on you. Right?

Yes, that you cheated.

Weve all been through a lot.

All of us.

But we all dont hurt people the way that you do.

And thats nobody elses fault.

-Im not saying it is. -Okay, so you need to

take responsibility for that.

I am taking responsibility for it.

-Have I been denying this? -No.

Youre taking responsibility for it now because you feel bad.

So what happens when that feeling disappears,

and youre not feeling so bad about it?

Are you still gonna want to take responsibility for it?

Because thats what has to happen

in order for you to change.

And I need you to change.

I want you to change.

Like, but, is that, is that something that you want?

Do you want to change?

[alarm blaring]

Yeah, everybody just make your way to the exit.

Thank you.

Please, leave your drinks.

Night, nights over. Im so sorry.

This-this isnt a drill.

We appreciate the business.

Just make your way calmly.

-Please. Just, uh... Thank you. -All right. All right.

All right, Fin, Fin, Fin, please,

can we just talk about this?

I cant hear you. The-the alarm is going off.

I saw you pull the alarm, okay?

I need, I need you to leave the premises.

I didnt know that they were going to be here.

-I didnt know. -Please.

Go, go!

Its for your own safety, maam, please.

Fin, come on.

I need you to exit the building, please!

Just get out, please.

[alarm continues blaring]

♪ somber music ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

♪ "Sloppy" by King Mala ♪

♪ God called, she said Im headed straight ♪

-♪ Into the fire... ♪ -[siren wailing]

Fuck.

♪ I like the way that it burns, karma keeps showing up... ♪

You want to grab dinner?

Um...

[chuckles softly]

I cant. Actually.

Youre right. We should probably just go back to mine

and finish what we started.

-[laughs] Okay. -Okay?

[both laughing]

Im just saying, this night could be over.

My adrenaline is fucking pumping.

I never performed in L.A. before.

And fire alarm or not, that crowd was dope.

Where do you usually perform?

My house. TikTok.

Tiny-ass venues in Ohio.

A retirement home in Akron. Yeah.

Youre really good.

I think youre great, actually.

-Im glad you liked it. -Unfortunately,

you did sleep with my ex,

and Im really

not into being anyones second choice, so...

♪ I tried it all... ♪

Wait, wait. Ive been here for six months,

how could I have slept with your ex?

[Sophie] Hey, Dani, can I get a ride?

♪ In a choke hold ♪

♪ If life is gonna fuck me... ♪

Hey, uh... nice to see you again.

[Dre] Hey. Yeah.

-Cool. -It was nice to meet you.

♪ If life is ♪

♪ Gonna fuck me, it better ♪

Thats it?

♪ Call me mommy... ♪

No, actually.

Um...

if you ever need a publicist, hit me up.

A publicist?

Wonderful.

Great.

[laughing]

♪ Chaos... ♪

A publicist, bro?

[groans]

All right. I see you, Dani.

Shoot. [laughs]

[exhales] Okay.

-What, whats wrong? -Im afraid Ill hurt you.

Well, I thought you knew your way around down there.

Well, the thing is,

my high school girlfriend and I,

we, like, did stuff, but we didnt...

Oh, youve never had sex?

Technically, no.

-No shame. -No, but, yeah.

We just never really felt ready.

Okay, but you want to bone your new guy or no?

Thats, like, a big question to ask before I penetrate you.

[chuckles] Okay, it felt natch to me.

Well, he asked me to go away

-with him and I-- -OMG, are you gonna do it?

-I want to but... -But what?

Ask me anything. Im an open book.

I just dont even know like how it starts.

Okay.

My experience is, like,

it will be super awkward and quiet,

and then Ill lean in and kiss whoever it is,

and then it sort of just goes from there.

-Cool. -With consent, of course.

Of course, yeah, we love consent.

[chuckles] We sure do. Then clothes come off.

You touch him. He touches you.

Usually, theyre, like, a little off.

Off, how?

Hmm, they miss. They think

theyre on your clit and theyre rubbing your labia

-like theyre DJing in Ibiza. -Ew.

-[imitates drumbeat] -Stop it.

-Stop doing that. -[laughing]

Oh, yeah.

Boys are usually total dummies about sex.

You just have to guide them a little bit.

Tell them what you like.

Like, literally, spell it out for them.

PowerPoint presentation that pussy.

And Ill just know what I want.

[Bella] Yeah, you got to trust your instincts.

You probably know a lot more than you think.

-Okay. -Okay.

Im ready.

Okay.

[laughing]

Okay, please let me know if I hurt you.

Mm-hmm. Just-just do it.

-Do it. -Okay. Ready? Here we go.

[humming]

[exhales]

Mm. Mm.

-I got it. I got it! -Oh, my God!

-Thank you! -Oh, my God, ew, ew, ew.

I knew you could do it! I knew you could do it!

I feel really accomplished!

-Yes! -Oh.

-Good, good. Oh, my God. -Wow. Wow.

Oh, well, now you just got to do a little something for yourself.

Like what?

Like this.

Here.

♪ Yeah, we are fired up. ♪

[movie playing quietly]

[quiet chatter]

Uh, excuse me,

can you please move?

Im trying to watch the movie.

Oh, its just gonna take a second.

Youre being rude.

Im trying to spy on my girlfriend.

[quiet chatter continues]

Hey, actually, what do you think?

You think they look like theyre on a date?

Or do you think that could be,

like, her cousin or something? Its hard to tell.

I cant...

I cant really tell from here. Can you?

[actress] Thats the most exciting thing

-anyones ever done for me. -[Dolores] Ooh.

Well, lets hope theyre not full-blood.

What the actual fuck, Taylor?

-Youre on a date? -Alice?

What are you doing here?

[people murmuring]

[actor] Are you crazy?

Hey, hey.

You lied to me.

Sit down, lady.

Okay, this is just gonna take a second, sir,

so just pipe down.

You told me you were working and youre clearly on a date.

I know.

Im sorry.

I shouldnt have lied to you about having to work.

[Alice] Yeah, no shit.

I thought we were, like, a thing.

We are a thing.

And we can be a thing, too. We just dont know yet,

because were dating.

Yeah, were dating.

Yes, this is dating. We date each other

and we date other people.

Uh, since when?

Since the beginning of time, as far as I know.

Well, I wish somebody had told me.

Namely you.

I thought you knew.

And I definitely thought

you were dating other people, too.

-Why would you think that? -I dont know.

Youre famous.

-[groans] -[phone camera clicks]

Who is she?

-[Alice] Okay... -Is it Ellen?

No. Okay, that is such a bullshit excuse.

-I should just go. -No.

-What? -No, you should stay.

Alice...

Its not an excuse. Okay? Its just a fact.

I like you.

But I also like my regular life.

And those two things dont naturally go together

because we just live in different worlds.

You with the reg-- Oh, my God, Im normal.

I have normal friends.

No. Youre not.

And you havent been for so long you cant even see it.

No. No, you know what?

I think youre looking for things that are wrong

because this is right.

Did you ever think of that? Did that ever occur to you?

That maybe this is about you and not about me?

I just need to go slow.

You know, just turn the heat down a little.

And I guess I just didnt know how to tell you that.

Well, this way sucked.

-For all of us. -Sit down.

-Oh, shut it, mister. -Yeah.

You never had a little dating drama in your life?

No.

Im sorry... I lied to you. I really am.

Yeah, I am, too.

You like her more than me?

Alice.

You didnt have to answer that.

Well, enjoy your movie.

By the way, he dies in the end!

-Come on, lady! -[others shouting]

Okay, okay, lets just think of another way to pick a donor.

Right? Lets, uh, not focus on perfection.

What are we looking for?

I guess you.

[chuckles softly]

You have managed to both flatter me and insult me?

Only you can really do that.

Oh, thanks.

Okay, so, who are you?

Uh...

Okay, me, uh...

Who am I? Um...

I am Chinese American.

-That feels important. -Of course.

Uh, I dont know, Im anxious.

-[chuckles] -You want our kid to be anxious?

No, no, of course not. Im just describing myself.

You like books.

Thats true. I do.

But, I mean, is there a section for that?

I see, uh,

favorites animal, favorite person,

education, food. I mean...

[exhales] This is really making me sad.

Yeah.

Yeah, me too.

You know, this was supposed to be really fun,

and its just depressing, really.

I just wish we could make a baby

thats part of you and part of me and...

-Yeah, me too. -[exhales softly]

Cis-heads can just get drunk and do this on accident,

but we have to self-reflect and...

Oh, cis-heads definitely need

to be doing some self-reflecting, too.

-And there should be a test. -Right?

Theres a test for everything, except to be a parent.

-Any idiot could do it. -Oh, and they do.

All the time.

Okay, maybe we just have to

figure out what we have in common.

So the baby, like, fits in our family, you know?

Yeah.

-Yeah, I love that idea. -Okay.

Okay. All right.

Well, lets see if shit-talking is a category.

Oh, yeah, yeah, its right here.

-Under religion. -Wow. [laughs]

[Tess] I thought you were it for me.

Yeah, I never...

let myself think about the future.

Cause my mom,

she always made all of these big promises,

every time she got a new gig, or met a new guy.

And none of them ever panned out.

So...

I just stopped thinking long-term.

[Shane] Yep.

And Ive tried,

but Ive never been able to think long-term.

I let myself with you though.

I saw my life with you.

Us getting old together.

Ive never been able to do that with anyone.

But it cant happen.

Unless you really

try to figure out why it is you do what you do.

Because if you dont, were just gonna end up

right back here and I cant do this again.

Its just too painful. Do you understand that?

Im not happy, Tess.

♪ soft, somber music ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

[exhales softly]

[sighs]

-Hey. Tess. -[crying]

No, Im so sorry, I cant do this back-and-forth.

I just, I need to get off this fucking ride.

♪♪♪♪♪

-[laughing] -Oh, my God! No.

Just not. Definitely.

How do you even do that?

Hmm.

[Bella] Okay, uh.... lets see.

Oh, what about this one?

-Yeah, I like her. -Yeah.

[both giggling]

Shes all like, Im cute, Im compact...

And I get shit done.

-Sure. -Yeah.

Oh, God, youre hilarious.

Hes lucky to have you.

-[chuckles] Thanks, Bella. -Mm.

-Thats super sweet. -Mm-hmm. [chuckles]

Okay, purchased.

-Oh, I should get one, too. -But, like, in different colors.

So we dont mix them up.

[chuckles] Oh, my God.

Such a good call. [laughs]

Thank you so much.

Yep, yep. That is the right move.

[Tess sighs]

[door opens]

[Finley] Hey, Mack. Wheres your mama?

-Oh, my God. -[Finley] Shane?

Oh, my God. Finley!

Open, open the door, open the door.

[Finley] Hi, okay.

[laughing]

Hey.

Oh, my God, I was wondering why you werent answering my texts.

[Tess] Oh, God.

-I, uh-- what happened? -[Shane] Thank you.

Im gonna get my stuff and Ill take the dog.

What? Thats it? Youre just gonna go?

Yeah.

I dont know what else to do, Tess.

I cant keep hurting you, so...

I think this is for the best.

♪ slow, somber music ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

[quietly] Oh, my God.

[sighs]

I had a shit day, too.

Its okay.

-Ready? -Yeah.

[Micah sighs]

[clicks]

No fucking results?

-[exhales] -You got to be kidding me.

Back to the Tupperware?

Yeah.

♪ "Different" by Wild Story ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

♪ Keep trying to fit inside the lines now ♪

♪ What if we never do? ♪

♪ Sick of standing on the outside ♪

♪ Of a crowded room ♪

♪ Rainbows in our eyes cant seem to find ♪

♪ The great divide and get to the bottom ♪

♪ Could be somebody else ♪

♪ But who the hell will tell themselves ♪

♪ Its us thats the problem ♪

♪ Sometimes it feels like ♪

♪ Nobody is listening ♪

♪ Sharks in the water ♪

♪ But I just keep swimming ♪

♪ Well never fit in with the rest ♪

♪ Weve all got monsters under beds ♪

-♪ Well never change it ♪ -[sighs]

♪ Cause, darling, were different ♪

♪ Would they notice if we got lost? ♪

♪ If we disappeared? ♪

♪ Tell me right after this rainstorm ♪

♪ That the smoke will clear ♪

♪ Looking at our dreams ♪

♪ On movie screens and magazines ♪

-[phone buzzing] -♪ Dont see a reflection ♪

♪ Could be somebody else ♪

♪ But who the hell will tell themselves ♪

Hey.

♪ Its us thats the problem ♪

Outside? Here?

Now?

Okay.

♪ Well never change it ♪

♪ Cause, darling, were different ♪

[groans]

Sorry I closed the bar early.

Its fine.

Ill pay you back whatever I lost.

Im sure it wasnt much.

Or you can just take it out of my paycheck.

But maybe not all at once.

Or just do whatever you think is best.

[chuckles softly]

-Its fine. -Also,

we might owe the fire department a couple thousand dollars.

-[chuckles softly] -But it was that or drink.

So I just thought it was best to get the hell out of there.

Mm.

Im talking because I felt like

whatever happened out there was bad,

and I want to make it better, but I dont know how to, so...

♪ gentle music ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

We need to go to a meeting.

-Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah.

-Um, lets go to a meeting. -Okay, yeah, lets do that.

-Lets, um-- -Thats a good idea.

-Yeah. -[clears throat]

[both chuckle]

All right. We got ice cream.

-Mm-hmm. -Popcorn. Here we go.

Yeah, for sure.

Oh. God.

-What happened tonight was... -Oh, my gosh.

It was... gay, so very gay.

There really arent enough of us.

Mm-mm. You know...

you should hit them streets

and start recruiting some more people.

Im sure theyd sign up in a heartbeat.

[both laughing]

Right.

Mm.

You know, I, um...

I havent really let myself think about Dre since we met.

[chuckles softly]

God, we had the best weekend together.

[chuckles] It was like I was in a different life

for a minute or something.

I can imagine.

I dont have to imagine, actually.

I have my own version of them right up here.

Yeah, thats right.

Mm-hmm.

You know, if... if youre into them

and you wanna see where it goes, like, dont--

-Mm. No. -Im--

No, no, no, no. No, no. No.

Im not gonna do that to you.

You know me. Loyal like a dog.

Yeah.

-Mm! -Hmm?

We should watch the directors cut of The Wedding Planner.

-Oh, my God. Yes, we should. -Yes.

And you know why?

Because, you know, it just makes me feel good

knowing that J.Los heel just so happens to be

the exact same size as a manhole cover hole.

You remember that shit?

That is what makes it fate though.

-I know, its fucking fate. -Its fate.

-[exhales] -Oh, wait, what does he say?

[as Matthew McConaughey] "I have no idea

why you became a wedding planner, Mary.

But I know the curves of your face.

[laughing]

And I know every fleck of gold in your eyes.

And I know that that night in the park

was the best night I ever had."

So good.

Okay, youve definitely seen it too many times.

Oh, fuck, yeah. Again and again and again.

-By the way, he dies in the end. -Come on, lady!

Okay, stop. I cant watch it anymore.

-Stop. -Wow, they really turned on you.

[sighs] I know.

Can you blame them?

Okay, it wasnt my finest moment.

[laughing] You look insane.

Okay! Okay. Okay.

Im sorry. Im sorry.

And it looks like I ate both tubs of popcorn.

Did you eat both popcorns?

Well, yeah, I mean...

Duh.

-All right. -[sighs]

You know, its not like it was even right with Taylor...

Or anyone lately.

Do you ever think that maybe this "not right" thing...

...has more to do with you?

-No. -No?

-Mm-mm. -All right.

[exhales]

You okay?

No.

No, no, Im not. Im not okay.

I, uh...

I ruined it.

I ruined it. With Tess.

No, she loves you.

Yeah, but thats not enough.

Well, look at us.

-Oh, yeah. -[Mack snoring]

♪ "Well All Be Alright" by Amy Stroup ♪

You want to be the little spoon?

No ones ever asked me that.

♪ Well all, we will all, we will all be alright ♪

Yeah, Ill be the little spoon.

You got it.

♪ Love of mine ♪

♪ Well all, we will all, we will all be alright ♪

♪ Well all, we will all, we will all be alright ♪

♪♪♪♪♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ We fall, we fly ♪

♪ Well all, we will all, we will all be alright ♪

♪ We fall, we fly ♪

♪ Well all, we will all, we will all be alright ♪

♪ Love of mine ♪

♪ Well all, we will all, we will all be alright ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0