Original subtitles

Look. You know I couldn't be happier,

that you didn't back down from going on this date with C.J.

I admire that. But tonight we had plans--

Man plans--Man's!

I know. I know. This is important. And I told you I was sorry.

Yeah. Well. "Sorry" doesn't help me eat a whole pizza and prank-call Benson.

But we do this every Saturday. I'm only missing it once.

You know this is a two-man job!

I'm not hanging out with you tonight dude.

- Hey! - Hi! Hey!

So. Uh. I'm glad you could make it out tonight.

Whoa-ho-ho! You're a real move-maker today.

Oh. Uh... I mean. I thought--

Hey hey. I'm just teasing. It's cool.

You already got me on a date. There is no need to impress me.

Ha! Yeah. It's cool. I'm cool.

Pfft! All right. Cool guy. What are we doing on this hot date?

Well. We could go eat at the new Falafel Fusion Truck.

Or there's the Tried-And-True Wing Kingdom.

And then I was thinking after that we could go catch a movie.

Or go to Trivia Night at the Arcade.

Or... Take a chance on Disco Night down at that weird Bingo Hall.

Yeah. That sounds good.

Uh. Which one?

All of'em. Let's start at the beginning and see how far we get.

Okay.

Uh. That van just came out of thin air.

We should go.

- Do you know them? -Nope.

Hold it right there!

Hey. Death. How's it going?

Uhhh, Death?

C.J. This is Death -- Death. C.J.

Charmed.

Well. It's been great running into you.

Oh we're not through yet.

You're gonna babysit Thomas tonight.

Aw... Man!

Um. Actually. We were just about to head out ourselves.

Well. You're in for a change of plans. Missy.

Because this joker owes me a favor.

Hold on a second.

- Yeah? - Dude. I need you to do me huge favor and babysit Thomas tonight.

Isn't he. Like. In college?

Not that Thomas -- Death's Thomas! Can you help me out?

Sorry to hear that. But I've got some important plans I can't cancel on.

Sorry we have to watch it on my computer.

I haven't had a TV since I moved out of my parents' place.

Are you at Eileen's?!

Very important!!

Sorry C.J. Looks like I can't get out of this.

We don't have to give up on out date just because of Thomas.

- Really? - Yeah! I'll just help you babysit him.

I'm sure we can still have a good time.

Okay. Let's do it!

Glad to hear it. We'll pick him up at 8:00.

Oh. A little heads up -- Thomas is going through a bit of a phase right now.

- Wait what? - Ciao!

So... We meet again.

Wow! He can talk?

Obviously.

Yeah... He's actually three hundred years old.

Then why is he so shrimpy?

Who is this female?

Her name is C.J. And you're messing with our date plans. So try to be nice. Okay>

Date?

Uh yeah.

And she's actually okay with being girlfriend to someone like you?!

Well. She is not really me girlfriend yet.

We're just on a date right now--

Oh. Such simple minds! You mortals have the most heinous rituals!

Hey. At least we're not 300 and still wearing baby clothes.

What?! How dare you?!

So. Thomas. What do you want to do?

Take me to the playground!

Hey. Not a bad idea. This could be pretty fun.

Ohhh... We'll see about that.

Where have you taken me?!

It's a playground dude.

Yeah. Go run around or something.

But where is the fire. The brimstone. The overall loss of hope?

I don't know. That guy on the bench looks kind of sad.

Take me to the underworld playground.

You haven't tried it out yet. Give it a chance.

Come on. I'll push you on the swings.

This is terrible! The swings in the underworld go much higher!

Well. Too bad.

- Follow my lead. - Okay.

All right. I'm gonna push you really high this time.

Now that's a good swing!

Keep this up and I'll w--

Wait... What the...

- Wanna share? - Yeah. Sure.

Fools! You can't leave me alone!

You are here to do my bidding!

Now take me to the underworld playground!

We can't! Just play on this playground.

Underworld! Underworld!

I'd take you. But I don't even know how to get there!

I know how.

This is how.

Dude. We can't all fit on that bike.

Not that bike -- THAT bike.

Great. But I still don't know how to ride a motorcycle.

I have a motorcycle license.

Then it's decided -- The female you're trying to impress will drive us.

How emasculating.

It's pretty cool you know how to ride a motorcycle.

Yeah. I did motorcross when I was younger.

Enough. Take a left up ahead and go into Seventh Gear.

Seventh Gear?

Do it!

Okay! Okay!

You will get used to it.

Ah, at last.

Ew, this playground doesn't look very safe.

You wanna go sit down on those swings?

I don't think they will incinerate us.

Sure.

Wow, look at him go.

Yeah. He is really in his element.

Hey, thanks for coming along and helping me.

I don't know a lot of people who'd do that.

Well, it's no disco night at the Bingo Hall.

But I am having a lot of fun hanging out with you.

Really?

Yeah, really.

You know, I think this date is going pretty good.

Push me!

Yeah, here you go.

Don't be patronize me. This are baby swings.

I was to go on the elder-boy swings.

Sure.

I'll met you guys there.

I got to hit the restroom.

I'll scream if I need you.

Got it.

What's so funny?

You and that female babysitter are never going to connect.

What are you talking about?

Oh, it's been so easy to get between you all day.

What a pitiful romance.

I've barely been able to keep a straight face.

What the... You've been trying to get between us?

Trying?

Ah! It's been as effortless as it's been entertaining.

Ah, you little jerk. That's it.

We are going home.

Oh, we'll see about that.

What? no!

I will not ask this woman for her phone number.

Huh?

She is abviously married.

I can't believe you are asking me to pick up woman for you,

while your date is in the bathroom.

Did you hear that? How awful!

Ah, who will do such a thing?

Hey, guys. What's going on?

Not much. We should probably get out of here.

Hey, buddy.

You are trying to pick up my wife,

were you?

No, no. I am just the babysitter.

What kind of sicko uses a child to try to pick up a married woman!

Look, It's not really like that!

I never go after your wife. Honest.

Oh? so now my wife is not good enough.

You think she is revolting just she is pregnant with hundruplets?

We need to get out of here.

Come on!

We've got to get to the bike.

C.J.!

Wait!

I can't drive. My ankle is messed up!

Okay. Then get into the sidecar.

Tell me how to start it.

Turn the key.

On three. Let the clutch out slowly.

Three!

We are not going fast enough!

Get out of first gear.

You stalled it! Turn it back on!

I thought you said it was easy!

Ugh. I am just trying to look cool.

Can this thing go any faster?

This is all your fault!

You make it go faster.

I know a way to go faster.

Really?

Yeah. We just need to get rid of some dead weight.

Well, then. Hurry up!

My pleasure.

What? No! stop this at once.

Oh, yeah? Why should I?

This whole time you've been trying to get between me and Mordecai.

No! No! That doesn't sound like me!

Yeah, right. You told me so yourself.

I've been looking forward to this date for a long time.

And I am sick you messing it up.

Well, out you go!

No, pull me in! pull me in!

I am the victim here!

You are the one who hit on my wife!

I was just playing with my kids!

We totally tricked Thomas into thinking we were gonna drop him.

Let's get out of here.

Curses! One of my least favourite things.

When I tell my daddy what you've done,

He will torture your souls for eternity!

Good luck going on dates then.

What the...

So, look like you're two for two. Mordo.

If you don't watch yourself,

I'll have to enlist you as a full- time sitter!

Now get out of my garage!

Wait, you don't get paid?

Nah, he just let us live.

Well, really I should thank you for that.

I can't believe you learned how to ride a bike so fast.

That was awesome!

Yeah, well. I was trying to look cool.

Alright, alright. I can get wanting to impress your date.

So did it work?

He doesn't need to impress me.

I already think he is cool.

Well, he thinks the same about her.

- You've really been looking forward to this for a long time? - Yeah.

Want a lift while we try to hail a cab?

Oh, please.

Hup.