Original subtitles

Hey, Mordo! You coming?

Back of this bike. It's not gonna ride itself.

Coming!

This day was awesome.

Yeah, I had a good time.

You are coming to watch a " X-Treme Barista" so with me and Rigby?

I can't, I've got to go to work.

But I'll be able to watch it there.

Hey, text me, and I'll be like we're watching it at the same time.

Ha. Phones are awesome.

Yeaaah, they are.

All right. I got to go. Give me a hug, you loser.

- Later. - See ya.

Today, on X-Treme Barista

Kkkk-Kid Krunchy Z!

Yo yo yo. I ain't come here to make friends.

I came here to make blends, dawg!

So Yuji better watch what's up!

YO, he say that?

Well, these three golden barista awards prove that

Yuji's number one!

So what's he got to say to that?!

Man, Yuji's gonna French-press this guy!

Are you watching " X-Treme Barista? " Hilarious.

So bad it's good.

She's so funny.

One minute begins now.

He's adding an energy drink.

Ugh! All you do is text CJ.

Just tell her you like her and quit pulling a Mordecai.

What? That's not a thing.

I'm Mordecai, I never make a move.

And I don't know what to do with my hands!

You've been doing this for years.

I'm not like that with CJ.

So how come you aren't dating yet?

Cause we're just friends.

Not every girl I hang out with has to be a potential girl friend.

Shut your excuse hole!

Yuji's on.

Ain't nobody can make a swan-espresso like Yuji can!

Care for a sip?

You don't drink from the cup!

You drink from the sky!

Still warm.

- Hahaha. - Wow.

Cappuccino he didn't!

I like yuji.

Is this some kinda Yuji psyche?!

Yuji will return, YO!

Buy my book, suckers!

Yu... ji...

Whoa?!!! No no no, cancel cancel cancel!

Ugh, what now?

My favorite barista probably has rabies and you're...

Wow. What happened?

I texted CJ " I like Yuji" ,

but it auto-correct it to " I like you hi" .

I like you too. Hi.

Wait what?! Ugh, no.

What am I gonna do?!

Destroy the phone with acid.

That makes the texts go away.

What? That's not gonna work.

I'm gonna have to ask some real people.

So that's what happened.

How do I tell CJ that I don't " like" like her,

I just like her, you know?

So you pulled a Mordecai, huh?

What the...

Come on! How long have you been calling it that!

How long have you been Mordicai?

Come on. What should I do?

Tell her the truth.

Thomas?

Well, my second girl friend liked dancing,

but my fourth girl friend with more into the deejay scene.

So, uh, try-try that.

Okay. Not really sure why you're on this panel.

Muscle Man?

One word, bro,

Cellphone thief.

Huh?

Hey!

Hey, Mordecool!

This isn't Mordecai.

This is a common criminal.

I've been stealing phones and texting people " I like you hi" all day.

I know it's you, Muscle Man.

What are you doing with Mordecai's phone?

The cops are coming! Got to go!

Sorry, bro. That always works on Starla.

Okay. Anymore advice?

Well, you have to wait four years, but...

Okay. Anything I can actually do?

Well, that was a dead end.

Ugh! Just talk to her already so we don't have to do this all day!

I have my own life, you know.

I've got this book-signing thing I want to go to.

Yuji will be at books, zines and in-betweens signing his new book,

"P.S. I love Yuji" today!

See?

That's it, Yuji!

I'll get a picture of me and Yuji,

and I'll send it to CJ and write " I like you hi. "

Then I'll send, " OOPS. I like Yuji! Dumb auto correct! "

Then she'll know my first text was a mistake, and her feelings won't get hurt.

We'll be able to keep being friends, and my life won't be ruined.

That's bad. That's like one of my plans.

You're lucky I'm going there anyway.

Just don't make me look bad in front of Yuji.

... And that was the day...

I lost my innocence.

At making coffee.

Not at making out with girls!

I did that waaay earlier... to the extreme!!!

Sup! Yuji fans!

It's an honor to meet you sir.

Yeah... Uh... huge fan.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. No problem.

Actually, I need a favor.

You see, Yuji, I sent a text about you to this girl...

And my name auto-corrected to "You-hi"?

Uh. Yeah. How did you know?

It's the only reason I'm not famous!

If people could viral market by texting about me.

I wouldn't be signing books! I would be signing diamonds!

Umm, yeah.

"Um, yeah" is right! Bro!

I went to this tattoo shop, and check out what happened.

So can I get a picture with you to show what I was texting about?

Let me take out my planners.

I think I can pencil you in.

Awesome! Where do you want to take the picture?

Ohhh we can take it anywhere extreme!

Um... How about the roof?

Can I base-jump off it afterwards?

Ok... Ready?

Ugh, the glare from the sun is too extreme.

I thought you liked things extreme.

Not when it comes to white balance, bro!

We gotta wait for that cloud to float over and block that sun.

Hey, you got a text from C.J.

It says "I got off work in half an hour ... text me then."

Ugh! We are running out of time.

Okay, so picture won't work.

Let me text this X-Treme-Anita.

"Sup? This is Yuji blowin' up your call brick!"

Sendo!

Ex-Squeeze me?

Re-sendo!

What the extreme!

Stupid phone! I can't send even my own name!

I hate myself!!

I'm such a loser.

I never should have changed my name from Eugene Mendelman.

Let me try. I can still fix this.

Come on! Send!

Dude! Chill!

Maybe if I type "You hi" it'll auto correct to Yuji!

Send! Send!

Uh, I guess warping into a phone is kind of extreme.

What? What's going on? What are we doing here?

Welcome to the Visual Messaging...

What the...

Is that you? Mordecai?

Oh... Hey... Hey guys... How have you been?

Oh, you know. Oh hey, our band put out a demo tape.

Oh cool.

It's sort of an ambient prog-rock fusion. You can keep that.

We had to move on after you didn't call.

Uh, that's all right...

Enough Reminiscing!

You stand accused of breaking the golden rules of texting...

Sending the same text message three times.

And that's the worst thing in the world!

What? Why?

It's super annoying.

Yes. And some of us have very limited data plans.

Uh, well, he's really sorry.

I'm really sorry!

It won't happen again. So if you could just show us the way out.

Burn them!

But he's right. This is your second offense!

You won't be getting off so easy this time.

I just pressed wrong button!

You don't press the wrong button three times in a row.

Listen, I'm... I just gotta go. Okay?

What?

Tell us what the problem is.

Nah, I'm just... You know... Going this way...

Where do you think you're going?!

Dude you are being really weird!

Mordecai, what are you doing? Come back!

You'd rather floating towards the infinite abyss than talk about you problem?

This is a safe place!

What are you floating away from?

I... I don't wanna talk about it.

Do you not wish to be with this C.J.?

Her texting history shows she's quite the witty and independent young woman.

And she is quite fond of you.

There's nothing out there for you. Literally nothing!

It's really boring! Trust me!

I really do like CJ.

Pft! Duh, you do.

I'm just afraid of what'll hapen because...

... Part of me is still waiting for Margret to come back.

Daddy's girl?

What? Still? She's not coming back dude! She's gone!

Look, I know! Alright? I know! It's just...

I mean, I don't still have the feelings for her. But I do in a way.

It's like this thing that's inside of me, and it's always just sort of sitting there, waiting around.

and it makes me think of her. Even though I don't want to.

And sometimes I'll see something or I'll smell something,

I really like C.j.. She is amazing.

But is it fair for me to go with her if I still think about Margret sometimes?

Dude, C.J. is way cooler than Margret.

- Way cooler. - Agreed.

This is a normal part of life.

Where one phone call ends, another begins.

Even if you don't leave a message after the beep.

So... what should I do?

That's for you to decide.

Uh, also, if you have a music blog or something, we could really use some positive reviews.

Yeah... We'll look into it.

This is it guys. This is gonna be our big break.

Are you sure about this?

I'm tired of pulling a Mordecai.

Nice!

- Yeah! - Awesome!

Wait, what does a winky face mea...

That means yes. Don't misinterpret it.

Hahah! Alright.

"See you soon."

I'm proud of you man.

Extreme Yu-Jump!!!