Original subtitles

This story is fictional,

and bears no resemblance to reality.

The story has been inspired by ancient legends and folklores.

This film talks of several evil powers.

For example, black magic, ghosts-spirits, and...

Witches.

Please don't be scared while watching this feature film.

Because this film has no connection to reality.

The only connection is with a sorcerer.

Who, with his mystical powers,

is determined to plunge the world into a dark age.

However, history has borne witness,

whenever the world is facing imminent doom,

heroes were born for its protection.

But, since all the heroes were busy.

You guys will have to settle for these two.

Major and Gullu.

They preferred creepy ghosts over humans,

by birth.

But can their bizarre nature,

save us from the sorcerer's plans for Doomsday?

Let's see.

What's wrong, Gullu?

I saw a nightmare.

Waking up from a nightmare is a whole lot of fun.

- Lucky you. - Major, hear me out.

In my dream, you were showering.

Me? Showering?

Must be Sunday.

There was blood coming out of the shower.

Lovely, man!

Like how the heroine showers in Ramsay Brother's 'Purana Mandir'?

Correct.

And then?

Then...

Clean water started coming from the shower.

Stop!

You call that scary?

That's not scary, that's unfortunate.

Exactly my point, bro.

It's an ominous sign.

Signs that we are heading toward bad luck.

Oh, sh**!

Your Papa and my Appa are arriving tomorrow.

(Tamil)Oh God! Death by Dads!

Why are our fathers like this...

They show up on the 1st of every month, and ask the same question.

"What are you doing with your life?

"When will you start making a living?"

"When will you become independent?"

Fathers are all the same.

Once this New Moon Night party is a hit.

Then we'll explain to them.

that we've started our own event management business.

And then Papa-Appa's lips will be sealed forever

Sealed!

Don't jinx us with your unlucky words.

Every time you do, our businesses fail.

Unlucky?

I am not unlucky!

Your ideas are unlucky.

Last time, we organized a simple singing show.

You said let's make the theme 'Sing-and-scare'.

What is 'Sing-and-scare'?

In the end, it was just us playing 'charades'.

I see...and don't forget.

The birthday parties we organized with the neighborhood kids.

You showed up as Ghost Uncle.

I had Kavita aunty totally impressed.

Not one mum calls me anymore.

And, your restaurant idea?

What name did you come up with? "Rest In Pieces."

Our bank balance was in royal pieces.

What about your BhootTube?

Not one subscriber you had.

I did...

I see... How?

Sweetprincess22

That was me.

Me.

AngelPiya.

- All me. - CatapultKing.

That was me too. SixPackShakoor.

That was me too.

And this was me.

(Tamil)Raaka - Our Lord, have mercy!

Please help us. If you want--

Look, Raaka.

This is your final chance to perform a miracle.

If our family stops giving us money,

then you'll be out on the streets with us.

Raaka, it's been 10 years...

Since that day when we dug you out, from the ground of the old film studio,

behind the Hanuman temple on the black mountain,

with our own hands,

(Tamil) These very hands

They wanted you to...

act in Television!

Raaka...

we did everything possible, to make you feel at home.

Look...

Take a look yourself.

We have complete faith.

One day, you shall awaken from your spiritual slumber.

And help us.

O Raaka, help!

Our party is a flop.

No one turned up.

Someone did...

Two idiots in costumes, did show up.

Who?

Me and you!

Screw...

Even Raaka's eyes have lost power now?

Unfortunate...

It's another bad omen.

We're beyond saving.

Gullu.

Gullu, you are alive right?

Shocking!

Our party is a hit.

Major, let's hurry up and start charging them money,

these guys got free entry.

Forget the entry, look at the gentry.

Awesome gals.

Brother let's go.

Hello.

Hi, guys.

Major.

Hi. I am Galileo Parthasarathy.

I am the organizer.

So, it's two thousand for couples.

Oh, nice. Full in character.

But it's still 2000 for couples,

and 1500 for stags.

Is that all for attaining salvation?

Salvation?

Salvation attained.

"New Moon night party."

"Come and attain salvation."

These days several frauds are moonlighting in the market offering salvation.

Ma'am, if you think this party is a fraud,

then you can leave. We have better things to--

Hi, Major.

- Major? - Yes.

From the army?

He's not a real Major.

Well...my real name is Sherdil Shergil,

but my nickname is Major.

Major disappointment!

Just because you're hot, doesn't mean you can get away with anything.

There are other guests in the party. We've to attend to them as well.

Take a welcome selfie and keep moving.

Let's go, Gullu.

Say Boooo.

Yeah.

Here you go. Shake well.

- Let's go. - You go.

"Say what's in your heart."

"Come fall in love."

"Put everything off for another day,"

"sweetheart."

"Come hold my hands."

"Look in my eyes."

"Steal my heart, sweetheart."

"You look so cute...cute...cute..."

"And me...me..."

"Together as a couple."

"We look so cute."

"You look so cute..."

"And me..."

"Together as a couple."

"We look so cute."

"So cute."

"Your attitude is rare,"

"and this face is one in a million."

"I am crazy about you,"

"let me announce to the world."

"Can't take my eyes off you."

"No one else looks good with me as you do."

"My heart wants to say I love you..."

"Say what's in your heart."

"Come fall in love."

"Put everything off for another day,"

"sweetheart."

"You look so cute...cute...cute..."

"And me...me..."

"Together as a couple."

"We look so cute."

"The drop!"

"Break"

"It's a match made in heaven, can never be broken."

"You're mine, and I'm made for you-you-you."

"You're my heart, you're my peace of mind."

"You're the one I love."

"Your killer attitude,"

"has driven me crazy."

"Can't live without you."

"You're my life, you're my love."

"That's how much I love you."

"You look so cute..."

"How cute I look."

"Together as a couple."

"We look so cute."

"You look so cute...cute...cute..."

"And me...me..."

"Together as a couple."

"We look so cute."

What's going on here?

We're partying, what else.

With whom?

With all these people of course.

This is a private property.

You need permission.

Write them a ticket.

That will be 5000.

Short circuit?

We didn't make any money,

and got arrested by the police.

How are we going to face our fathers?

Gullu,

can't get that gal from the party off my mind.

Me neither.

Bro, our fuse is blown.

Just pray we reach home safe and sound.

We don't need prayers.

We need pills.

Gullu-Special!

Bro,

what's in it?

The usual...

Hair from a black cat's nose.

Nail of a bat,

and tail of a lizard.

Salt to taste.

Captain Major,

I'm taking a nap.

Good idea, Gullu.

Now the plane's gonna fly on autopilot.

"Fasten your seatbelts."

"The weather might get rough."

"The place where this plane will land,"

"is haunted by a ferocious witch."

"And she's flung 56 people to date,"

"onto the divider of death."

Bro...something hit us.

Yeah. It has definitely hit me.

Gullu!

Hurry up over here, Gullu.

You ran over this widow with the car.

No.

We flattened the widow!

Huh?

No.

- You... - No.

- You killed a widow. - No.

You are a widow killer!

She's alive!

- She is alive. - Alive?

Her feet are moving.

You twisted her feet around.

No...are you okay, Widow madam?

Wait a minute.

Prima facie, it looks like a talofibular,

calcaneofibular ligaments have in fact ruptured,

causing her ankle to dislocate.

It's a rare case of ATFL and PTFL tear with high degree avulsion injury.

(Tamil)We have to set her bones right

We have to relocate it.

Meaning...twist them around?

Foot Massage.

Come on, go for it, Gullu.

One...

Two...

Three!

I'll do it.

You have soft hands.

Now behold 'Lassi' power.

One...

Two...

Three!

What the...

You know what, let's both try together.

- Correct. - Right.

- Ready? - Ready.

Come on. Counting.

- One... - Mississippi.

- Two... - Mississippi.

- Three... - Mississippi.

Houston, we just heard a woman scream.

Is everything alright?

God...

I think she has polio.

This is not polio, idiot.

And anyway, India's been polio-free since 2011.

Meaning, even if she had polio, it got cured in 2011.

It's not some warranty, that comes with an expiry date.

That's not how it works.

Why are you putting pressure on your mind?

Let's ask widow ma'am.

Widow ma'am.

Where did she go?

Ma'am, it's not an MRI.

You didn't have to go inside.

Hello.

Did you find her?

No, she's not here.

- She isn't here either. - Widow ma'am.

Good God.

- Widow ma'am. - Wait, let me try shaking it.

Stop shaking it.

What do we do about the widow?

Scooby-dooby-doo!

What dooby-doo?

The widow. Where is she?

- Let's call 911. - Idiot

911? That's in America.

Who is there?

Hello, boys.

Please.

Hot coffee, cold milkshake.

See, Gullu, that's Major's charm.

She followed me all the way here.

Followed is fine,

but how did she get inside?

Good question.

I must have given her the house keys.

I noticed the way you were looking at me.

The way you were hitting on me.

Come.

Come.

Coming.

Come

- Coming. Coming. - Come.

Shoo!

Now I get it.

You must have done research on me after the party.

Type Gu in the browser and Gullu appears. Right?

From virtual stalking, you're now stalking me for real.

Major...she didn't follow you here,

she followed me.

I am sorry.

But looking at your face,

I think your last date was with your iPhone.

Right?

Yeah...funny.

She is right. I went with Siri.

Hello. Who are you?

What kind of horror fans are you guys?

You organise a New Moon party,

but don't recognize your guest.

You live in this horror-themed home,

but can't recognize a ghost when you see one.

Ghost?

Where?

Here.

Where?

Here you dimwits!

I am a ghost!

Ghost and you?

Good try. But not good enough.

No, it was convincing.

You must have done lots of theatre.

No, ghosts should be scary,

but she gives me different vibes altogether.

How can you be a ghost?

I wish you were a ghost. They are not normal like us.

Yeah...and ghosts are never so sexy.

Correct.

Gullu. Look, she's trying to scare us.

No, no, that's comedy.

Major.

- Major, light. - Yeah, she's taking me lightly.

- Don't take me lightly. - Major, relax.

Oh yeah, baby. Yeah, relax.

Eyes closed. Now breathe in, breathe out.

Now breathe in, breathe out.

Major, air force.

- Strong breeze. Strong breeze. - Air with force.

No, no, that's romantic.

(Tamil) Major, this is not Romance. It's anger.

She's looking like a bomb when she's angry.

C'mon baby c'mon.

Major...(Tamil) Look here, look there

- Mummy! - Major...

Major...your man's down.

Gullu...what happened?

She entered your body.

You were inside me, baby?

Are you really a ghost?

Now, will you listen to me?

Yes, but how can we talk if you keep drifting around?

If you can 'plant your pot' in one place, then maybe...

That's not in my control.

Why?

Because I am a wandering spirit.

I don't drift,

I wander.

That's easy.

Now, look.

Go to settings, then control panel.

You'll find the 'roaming' button is 'on'.

Just turn it 'off'.

Are you comfortable?

So, what brings you here?

As I said, I'm a wandering spirit.

I wandered all the way to your party.

Then, for the first time I came across such humans,

who could see ghosts,

And, weren't scared of them.

I was amazed.

Later, after listening to your conversation all night,

I realized you two are...

big losers.

And that no one takes you seriously.

But, I can change all that.

How?

I have a business idea for you two.

What business idea?

The idea is...

I will possess people,

and you two can come exorcise me out.

You'll earn fame and fortune.

Guaranteed success.

We'll be the virus and the antivirus.

Gullu...

One minute.

Sorry.

No!

But why?

Why?

Which decent ghost would drop in uninvited,

at midnight, in a house with two strangers?

We can be useless, jobless, shiftless,

but we are not frauds!

We'll starve to death, but never con anyone.

- Correct. - But hear me out first.

We don't want to hear anything.

- Let's go, Gullu. - Okay.

Gullu...

At least you listen to me.

It's a fool proof plan.

I agree.

It's a brilliant plan.

But, as he said,

we cannot cheat any human being.

It's wrong.

Let's go, Major.

You two are making a big mistake.

The list of our mistakes is pretty long.

This is nothing.

Which reminds me, our fathers are coming over.

And anyway, they think we've wandered far away like you.

So, please leave.

Thank God I ran into you two.

You owe me three months milk money.

No money, no milk from tomorrow.

Dude, we don't need your milk.

Hey...

Hey...you can have your coffee, black.

What about my milkshake?

Come back after two days.

- We'll clear you. - What?

I mean clear your bill.

Hey...where did she go?

Ms. Ghost.

Has she left?

I think she wandered away again.

Yeah...

Gullu...

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yes, buddy

How are we gonna pay the milkman?

We can see ghosts!

Yeah, that too.

But I am proud of you.

You're absolutely correct.

We will not con any human.

My dear Gullu,

we cannot con a human being,

but we can definitely con a ghost.

How?

By stealing her idea.

Think a bit...why did we meet?

Why did we dedicate all these years to horror?

Why did Raaka come into our lives?

Correct.

Why did we get these powers?

You're right.

It's a sign.

Years of hard work have borne fruit.

Now we are gonna be...

'Ghostbusters'.

Ghostbusters my foot.

Booth capturing.

What's this?

That is only for North Indians.

No, no, uncle,

We're talking about ghosts and ghouls.

- Goal? - No, father, that's a ghoul.

- With an 'h'. - Without?

Without?

- Without an 'h'. - It's spelt with 'h'.

- It's like this. - Wait a minute.

Papa, with or without 'h'.

To hell with your 'h'!

Brigadier, control.

(Tamil)Son, what's all this nonsense?

This is a stupid idea.

Not stupid, father.

Genius!

You see, uncle, it's like this.

The number of wandering spirits is on the rise.

Yes.

And they are running out of places to stay.

It's a real estate issue, dad.

And where are they gonna stay if they run out of space?

In us!

In you.

And who will exorcise them?

Who?

- Us. - Why?

Because we can see ghosts.

Why are you scared?

No.

I'm to be blamed for this.

Nancy.

Major's mother.

As a child, when he didn't drink his milk,

I used to say "drink your milk, or the ghost will come for you".

When he didn't study,

I used to say "do your studies,

or the ghost will come for you".

He wouldn't sleep. Play all day.

I used to say "sleep son,

or the ghost will come for you".

I didn't know...

ghosts would become his BFFs one day,

and he'll dump his father.

No, it's not your fault.

It is this Raaka.

He ruined their life.

Galileo.

Take next month's rent also,

from this good-for-nothing bloody Raaka.

Pa! Pa! Pa!

(Tamil)DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO RAAKA IS?

Gullu! Gullu! Gullu!

Why did you hit me?

I am not used to hitting him,

and he's not used to getting slapped.

And anyway, you were already getting slapped.

I thought...I rather hit you only.

Look, son.

Don't join the army if you don't want to.

And...what's it called?

You don't have to ride dish antennas if you don't want to.

Not dish antenna.

Why should he sit on the dish antenna?

Rockets.

Space research, satellite.

Same thing.

But do something worthwhile.

Papa...

our decision is final.

Yes, Appa. Just listen to us.

Trust me, Appa.

The consequences can be pretty bad.

What's the worst you can do? Stop paying our pocket money.

We'll earn.

We didn't come here just to stop your pocket money.

Internet also?

Son, we've a record of every penny spent on you.

Fine, we'll pay you back.

How much can it be?

One million.

Two million.

Five million.

50 million?

You added GST also, father.

You'll get that back.

And in case you fail to return our money in three months,

then you must promise to quit this ghost world forever.

Just a moment. Gullu

- Closed doors? - I don't know, dude.

- I think... - Struggles of a witch?

Struggles of a witch...won't do it.

Then desires of a witch it is.

Okay, fine.

We'll repay your 50 million... with principal interest.

With GST.

Appa, we will catch ghosts and prove you wrong.

We made a commitment,

but ever imagined how we'll catch a ghost?

How?

You're a human being.

I can see you.

Caught you.

We can see ghosts now.

We'll catch them as well.

No, Major.

We've seen several horror films.

It's not going to be so easy.

We'll have to work hard.

Hard work montage.

"Come on."

(Gibberish)

(Gibberish)

(Gibberish)

(Gibberish)

"Sexy."

"Creepy."

"Look who's here,"

"honking aloud."

"Tickles the bone,"

"This Phone Bhoot App."

"Cold coffee, hot milkshake."

"Seventy plus ten is eighty."

"Cold coffee, hot milkshake."

"Seventy plus ten is eighty."

"The black cat crossed my path,"

"jumpstarted the engine of my heart."

"Tickles the bone,"

"when you open this Phone Bhoot app."

"Let's rap."

"Slowly, steadily, my heart beats on."

"Come meet me at dawn."

"Slowly, steadily, my heart beats on."

"Come meet me at dawn."

Amazing Gullu.

You're learning.

Your body's shaking.

Your mouth's foaming.

Gullu.

Hey Gullu.

Nothing can happen to you when I am here.

Here smell my sock.

"Come on."

(Gibberish)

(Gibberish)

(Gibberish)

(Gibberish)

(Gibberish)

(Gibberish)

(Gibberish)

(Gibberish)

Welcome to Phone Bhoot.

Are you troubled by ghosts and spirits?

"For Hindi, press one."

"For English, press two."

"For Marathi, press three."

"For Bengali, press four."

- "For Malayalam, press five--" - Just press one.

You and your national integration.

"For ghosts and spirits, press one."

"For witches, press two."

"For banshees, press three."

"For other regional ghosts, press nine."

Phone Bhoot is ready.

It's been six days, Gullu, but not a single call for a job.

Have patience.

Someone will definitely call.

Gullu, your phone's ringing.

No, yours is ringing.

It's the Phone Bhoot phone ringing.

Hello, welcome to Phone Bhoot.

Do you really catch ghosts?

Yes.

Thank God. Only you guys can help me out.

Actually, two nights ago,

I was working alone at the office.

I went to get some water, and--

And...it started thundering!

Yes. Absolutely right.

How do you know?

Experience. Experience.

Please, continue.

As soon as I returned with the water...

The lights in the office went off.

Wow! Right again.

How did you know?

You see, we're experts in this field. Continue...

Next, next...

The wind started blowing faster,

I was scared out of my wits.

The doors closed on their own.

- And suddenly... - Suddenly?

- Suddenly what? - Suddenly...

The ghost went up my a** with