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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,203 --> 00:00:14,196 I just hope it doesn't cause any permanent damage. 2 00:00:19,613 --> 00:00:23,811 - How long have you been here? - A while. 3 00:00:25,719 --> 00:00:28,517 - You missed your prom? - Yeah. 4 00:00:34,528 --> 00:00:37,929 The thing is, when I made that bet... 5 00:00:38,466 --> 00:00:42,596 There he is. It's Freddie. He's wearing a tux. 6 00:00:42,803 --> 00:00:45,363 - What's up? - Yes. 7 00:00:45,573 --> 00:00:47,438 I met a whole other person inside of you. 8 00:00:47,641 --> 00:00:50,166 - Inside both of us. - Shut up. 9 00:00:50,377 --> 00:00:52,538 I would've never found that person inside of me... 10 00:00:52,746 --> 00:00:54,839 ...if it weren't for the person inside of you. 11 00:00:55,049 --> 00:00:57,074 That's sweet. 12 00:00:57,284 --> 00:00:59,048 The whole other person inside of me... 13 00:00:59,254 --> 00:01:02,417 ...thinks that the whole other person inside of you has come a long way. 14 00:01:02,624 --> 00:01:06,651 So would the whole other person inside of you like to dance? 15 00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:42,457 Yes. 16 00:01:43,599 --> 00:01:46,067 - Morning, sweetie! - Daddy! 17 00:01:46,435 --> 00:01:49,097 - Why are you in here? - Why am I in here? 18 00:01:49,372 --> 00:01:51,272 It's her birthday, Dad. 19 00:01:51,507 --> 00:01:54,135 Happy birthday, sweetie. 20 00:01:57,446 --> 00:02:01,644 - What's that buzzing sound? - I just need a minute here. 21 00:02:01,884 --> 00:02:03,818 Maybe it's that construction. 22 00:02:04,153 --> 00:02:06,280 Where's my little angel? 23 00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:08,114 Happy birthday, honey. 24 00:02:08,391 --> 00:02:09,551 Grandma? Grandpa? 25 00:02:09,792 --> 00:02:11,191 Rosco! 26 00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:16,521 Rosco, go. 27 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,394 - Hello. - Father O'Flannagan? 28 00:02:19,636 --> 00:02:22,662 I brought your special friends from the center! 29 00:02:22,873 --> 00:02:25,569 - Happy birthday! - Janey's making faces. 30 00:02:25,809 --> 00:02:27,367 It smells in here. 31 00:02:27,578 --> 00:02:29,478 Okay, make a wish, dear. 32 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,640 No. 33 00:02:55,439 --> 00:02:57,839 This isn't a typical high school. 34 00:02:58,075 --> 00:03:02,672 At John Hughes, there are no cliques, no exclusive social groups. 35 00:03:02,914 --> 00:03:06,350 You're accepted for you, not who you hang out with. 36 00:03:06,584 --> 00:03:10,714 We'll divide into groups so you can get to know your peers. 37 00:03:10,955 --> 00:03:14,220 Let's get all you jocks in one group... 38 00:03:14,459 --> 00:03:17,951 ...and get you slutty girls over here by me. 39 00:03:18,196 --> 00:03:20,426 Hey, how you doing? Welcome. 40 00:03:20,665 --> 00:03:23,463 You losers should hang out in the back. 41 00:03:23,701 --> 00:03:27,228 That clearly includes you. Come on, get back there. 42 00:03:27,472 --> 00:03:30,236 Take a look at the kid standing beside you. 43 00:03:32,477 --> 00:03:35,503 They're your only friends for the next four years. 44 00:03:35,747 --> 00:03:37,977 Okay, let's move it, people! 45 00:03:48,594 --> 00:03:52,325 - You need to start dating. - I don't date. You know that. 46 00:03:52,564 --> 00:03:54,361 Janey, you know Dad's rule. 47 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,431 I can't have sex before you. 48 00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:59,866 I don't conform to typical high-school norms. 49 00:04:00,105 --> 00:04:04,439 I read Sylvia Plath, listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu. 50 00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:08,113 - I'm a unique rebel. - More like you're a lesbo. 51 00:04:08,347 --> 00:04:10,747 Mitch, leave your sister alone. 52 00:04:10,983 --> 00:04:12,348 Thank you, Daddy. 53 00:04:12,584 --> 00:04:16,953 If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision. 54 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:21,290 Go! Fight! Win! 55 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,223 All right! 56 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,825 Nice combination, Crissy! 57 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,810 I've been meaning to get that fixed. 58 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:39,836 Later, Dad. 59 00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:41,678 Hey. 60 00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:44,111 I'll be late to pick you up. 61 00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,285 Why? A job interview? 62 00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:49,955 No, honey. I'll probably just be way too drunk. 63 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,715 That's good. No drinking and driving. 64 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,793 Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too drunk to remember. 65 00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,524 Okay. Bye, Daddy. 66 00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:01,829 Bye, pumpkin-head. 67 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:09,843 - Oh, my God! - Get out of the road! 68 00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:31,063 Oh, my God, it's Jake. 69 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,426 - Hi, stud. - Hi, Jake. 70 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,502 - I love that thing with his eyebrows. - Those sideburns. 71 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:42,801 Oh, my God, there's Jake. He's so popular. 72 00:05:43,378 --> 00:05:44,902 He just looked at me. 73 00:05:45,147 --> 00:05:47,775 - Here. You can keep it. - Tiff. 74 00:05:48,016 --> 00:05:50,712 Hi, Jake. It's all wet. 75 00:05:51,086 --> 00:05:52,713 Melanie. 76 00:05:52,954 --> 00:05:54,945 Hey, Jake. 77 00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:57,385 Hey, Arthur. 78 00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:08,225 Here's Ricky! 79 00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:10,461 Hey, Ricky. How was your weekend? 80 00:06:11,473 --> 00:06:15,341 Friday night I stood outside your window in the raln... 81 00:06:15,577 --> 00:06:17,135 ...screaming your name. 82 00:06:17,779 --> 00:06:21,511 Then I spent Saturday and Sunday making you this great... 83 00:06:21,751 --> 00:06:25,983 ...I've-been-desperately-trying- to-tell-you-that... 84 00:06:26,222 --> 00:06:28,520 ...I'm-madly-in-love-with-you... 85 00:06:28,758 --> 00:06:30,783 ...mix tape for your birthday. 86 00:06:31,027 --> 00:06:34,326 A mix tape? That's so sweet, Ricky. 87 00:06:35,832 --> 00:06:37,857 See you in English. 88 00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:43,031 Catch you guy later. 89 00:06:45,842 --> 00:06:47,707 What happening? 90 00:06:47,944 --> 00:06:51,402 Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending to be Asian and shit. 91 00:06:51,647 --> 00:06:56,380 That cracker is white! Can't he see that, yo? 92 00:06:56,619 --> 00:06:59,316 Did you get any action this weekend? 93 00:06:59,556 --> 00:07:03,151 - I visit grandfather. - I played with my sisters. 94 00:07:03,393 --> 00:07:04,724 We're pathetic. 95 00:07:04,962 --> 00:07:08,625 How will we ever lose our virginity by graduation? 96 00:07:08,866 --> 00:07:11,562 - We're freshmen. - What's with the attitude? 97 00:07:11,802 --> 00:07:15,397 - Not easy to get lucky here. - Girls are sensitive. 98 00:07:15,639 --> 00:07:19,735 They're not looking for sex. They're looking for love. 99 00:07:19,977 --> 00:07:22,411 Fuck me! Harder! 100 00:07:29,553 --> 00:07:31,714 Amanda Becker. 101 00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:36,050 She is so perfect. 102 00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:47,296 Keep dreaming. 103 00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:49,867 What's up, Reggie Ray? 104 00:07:50,074 --> 00:07:52,770 I can't walt until Friday's game. 105 00:07:52,977 --> 00:07:56,879 What about your head? You have a blood clot the size of a grapefruit. 106 00:07:57,081 --> 00:08:01,108 Five more concussions and you'll die. You should take it easy. 107 00:08:01,753 --> 00:08:04,916 - Don't listen to him. - Austin. 108 00:08:05,189 --> 00:08:09,956 Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore isn't first-string anymore. 109 00:08:11,930 --> 00:08:14,694 We know what happened last time Jake called the plays. 110 00:08:14,899 --> 00:08:17,834 And now, our hometown hero... 111 00:08:18,036 --> 00:08:21,632 ...first-string quarterback, Jake Wyler! 112 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:25,298 Malik, could you hold these books? 113 00:08:25,511 --> 00:08:28,309 Sure. Why not? I am the token black guy. 114 00:08:28,514 --> 00:08:30,982 I smile, stay out of the conversation... 115 00:08:31,183 --> 00:08:36,621 ...and say things like, "Damn," "Shit," and, "That is wack!" 116 00:08:53,305 --> 00:08:57,139 What's she doing here? She graduated four years ago. 117 00:08:58,844 --> 00:09:00,779 - Hi, Jake. - Catherine. 118 00:09:01,014 --> 00:09:02,606 Can I ask you a question? 119 00:09:02,849 --> 00:09:06,148 Why is it when I tell a guy to put it anywhere... 120 00:09:06,386 --> 00:09:09,355 ...they always stick it in my ass? - Damn! 121 00:09:09,589 --> 00:09:11,682 Way too much information. 122 00:09:11,925 --> 00:09:16,259 Oh, no. Too much information would be telling you... 123 00:09:16,496 --> 00:09:19,431 ...that after they're done I take a huge dump. 124 00:09:19,666 --> 00:09:21,634 Shit! 125 00:09:23,403 --> 00:09:24,529 On thelr chest. 126 00:09:24,871 --> 00:09:27,305 Oh, that is wack! 127 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:46,085 Why do hot girls always walk in slow motion? 128 00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:54,764 Priscilla, there you are. 129 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:58,461 Jake, I need some T-to-the-fourth-power-Y. 130 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,707 Some time to talk to you. 131 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,241 God. 132 00:10:07,748 --> 00:10:10,649 It made sense to me, Priscilla. 133 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,462 You're leaving me for this guy? 134 00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:28,329 I'm sorry, Jake. We met over spring break. 135 00:10:31,573 --> 00:10:34,303 I'm not ordinary. 136 00:10:34,543 --> 00:10:37,011 You're leaving me for this guy? 137 00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:39,236 His name is Les... 138 00:10:39,481 --> 00:10:44,043 ...and he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 139 00:10:45,887 --> 00:10:47,684 And so is his bag. 140 00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:22,980 Janey Briggs, please report to the office. 141 00:11:26,262 --> 00:11:29,197 Belng a forelgn-exchange student is scary... 142 00:11:29,432 --> 00:11:32,162 ...adjusting to a new school, a new country. 143 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:36,064 But you'll find that the students are very accepting. 144 00:11:40,878 --> 00:11:43,244 You have a sunny disposition. 145 00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:46,676 You got your schedule? 146 00:11:56,026 --> 00:11:58,426 Well, isn't that wonderful? 147 00:11:58,862 --> 00:12:00,022 Janey, come in. 148 00:12:00,297 --> 00:12:03,755 This is Areola, our forelgn-exchange student. 149 00:12:03,967 --> 00:12:06,868 Janey will show you to your first class. 150 00:12:07,971 --> 00:12:09,461 Hi. 151 00:12:15,445 --> 00:12:18,346 - I like your backpack. - Grazie. 152 00:12:22,487 --> 00:12:27,186 Dude, I heard there's an undercover reporter posing as a student. 153 00:12:27,425 --> 00:12:29,450 Dude, no way, dude. 154 00:12:29,694 --> 00:12:33,323 Do you know where Mr. Keller's English class is? 155 00:12:33,531 --> 00:12:36,898 - Down the hall, on your left. - Sweet, dude. 156 00:12:37,635 --> 00:12:41,503 For the thousandth time, I sald, "Swallow that thing." 157 00:12:41,739 --> 00:12:43,502 Am I right? 158 00:12:47,478 --> 00:12:51,073 How could Priscilla dump me, Jake Wyler? 159 00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:53,250 Who does she think she is? 160 00:12:53,484 --> 00:12:55,714 I got two words for you, Jake: 161 00:12:55,987 --> 00:12:59,479 Prom queen, material. 162 00:13:00,359 --> 00:13:02,589 Austin, she's an illusion. 163 00:13:02,828 --> 00:13:06,093 You take away the makeup, the clothes... 164 00:13:06,332 --> 00:13:10,200 ...the way she wears her hair, the smell of her perfume... 165 00:13:10,436 --> 00:13:14,532 ...that cute face she makes when she's tonguing my balls... 166 00:13:16,442 --> 00:13:18,273 Look, she's replaceable. 167 00:13:18,477 --> 00:13:21,605 Given the right look, the right boyfriend... 168 00:13:21,847 --> 00:13:25,283 ...any girl could be prom queen. - I smell a bet. 169 00:13:25,517 --> 00:13:28,145 Jakey, Jakey, about to make a big... 170 00:13:28,387 --> 00:13:30,514 ...mistakey. 171 00:13:30,756 --> 00:13:34,214 Here's the wager: I'll pick the most hopeless girl at this school... 172 00:13:34,426 --> 00:13:37,793 ...and I'll bet that you can't turn her into prom queen. 173 00:13:37,997 --> 00:13:39,898 You're on, Austin. 174 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,034 I'll bet you lose that bet... 175 00:13:42,269 --> 00:13:45,796 ...but learn a much more valuable lesson and win. 176 00:13:46,072 --> 00:13:47,972 In life, that is. 177 00:13:48,742 --> 00:13:50,403 You're both on. 178 00:13:50,644 --> 00:13:52,009 All right. 179 00:13:52,245 --> 00:13:56,841 Let's find you a prom queen, Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen. 180 00:13:57,550 --> 00:14:01,316 So, Areola, I noticed your accent keeps changing. 181 00:14:01,788 --> 00:14:02,982 Where are you from? 182 00:14:03,189 --> 00:14:04,451 I cannot tell you that... 183 00:14:04,658 --> 00:14:06,956 ...because I am a generic forelgn-exchange student... 184 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,993 ...whose country of origin is of little importance. 185 00:14:10,997 --> 00:14:12,658 Well, have fun in chemistry. 186 00:14:12,866 --> 00:14:15,630 Rightio, love. See you at teatime. 187 00:14:19,941 --> 00:14:21,238 What about her? 188 00:14:21,442 --> 00:14:23,672 Baby's got back. Hunch, that is. 189 00:14:23,878 --> 00:14:26,870 No, way too easy. 190 00:14:27,081 --> 00:14:31,108 - I have no pigment - Any girl with a guitar is hot. 191 00:14:31,319 --> 00:14:32,946 I need sunscreen 192 00:14:33,154 --> 00:14:36,385 Even a hippie albino. She could be prom queen. 193 00:14:36,590 --> 00:14:38,717 What about the Fratelli sisters? 194 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,524 So they're slightly disfigured and connected. 195 00:14:42,730 --> 00:14:46,791 But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick. 196 00:14:47,034 --> 00:14:49,161 - I'd do them! - I know, Reggie Ray. 197 00:14:49,403 --> 00:14:52,702 I'm looking for somebody really messed up. 198 00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:56,774 I'm talking about a real shitbomb. 199 00:15:00,215 --> 00:15:03,707 Well, bombs away. 200 00:15:04,353 --> 00:15:08,813 No, no, no, anyone but her! Not Janey Briggs. 201 00:15:09,558 --> 00:15:12,618 Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytalI. 202 00:15:12,861 --> 00:15:16,592 She's got palnt on her overalls! What is that? 203 00:15:16,798 --> 00:15:19,699 There's no way she could be prom queen. 204 00:15:19,935 --> 00:15:22,369 Damn, that shit's wack. 205 00:15:23,805 --> 00:15:25,466 alm for the head! 206 00:15:40,289 --> 00:15:42,917 Can you imagine what they do in there? 207 00:15:43,126 --> 00:15:44,593 Holy cow. 208 00:15:44,827 --> 00:15:48,126 Guys, get your heads out of the gutter. 209 00:15:48,398 --> 00:15:51,424 It's a locker room. It's no sexier in there... 210 00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:53,328 ...than it is in here. 211 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:57,131 Molly, can you help me take off my panties? 212 00:15:57,673 --> 00:16:00,574 Hold on, I've got lotion on my hands. 213 00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:03,870 That's okay. You can just use your mouth. 214 00:16:12,155 --> 00:16:13,645 Thanks, Miss Peters. 215 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,350 So... 216 00:16:15,591 --> 00:16:19,425 ...who would like to share thelr poem with the class? 217 00:16:21,765 --> 00:16:24,757 Mr. Keller? Over here. Right here. Please. 218 00:16:25,002 --> 00:16:26,993 - Anyone? - Mr. Keller! 219 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:32,603 - I'm not sure we should be doing this. - Quiet. I hear them. 220 00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:36,041 Hey, I found a buffalo nickel! 221 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,684 This is gonna be good. 222 00:16:43,387 --> 00:16:45,048 I think I see nipple. 223 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,348 You think we should let them know we're up here? 224 00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:50,186 Hey, Molly, the hot water's not working on my shower. 225 00:16:50,394 --> 00:16:53,056 - Mind if I share yours? - Not at all, Christy. 226 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,231 But we're gonna have to get real close. 227 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:59,766 Okay. How about I press up agalnst your back? 228 00:17:00,939 --> 00:17:04,705 Man, it is hot in here. 229 00:17:06,111 --> 00:17:08,511 I gotta take off my shirt. 230 00:17:09,681 --> 00:17:10,705 What? 231 00:17:11,316 --> 00:17:12,943 Doesn't even have to rhyme. 232 00:17:13,785 --> 00:17:16,754 Doesn't even have to be a poem. 233 00:17:16,955 --> 00:17:18,115 Please pick me. I'm the one. 234 00:17:18,323 --> 00:17:19,620 Yes... 235 00:17:20,158 --> 00:17:21,625 ...Ricky. 236 00:17:30,201 --> 00:17:33,796 - "Ten Things I Love About Janey." - Oh, not agaln. 237 00:17:34,038 --> 00:17:35,471 By Ricky Lipman. 238 00:17:36,774 --> 00:17:41,474 I love it when Janey talks I love it when Janey walks 239 00:17:41,714 --> 00:17:45,946 I love it when Janey drinks I love it when Janey blinks 240 00:17:46,418 --> 00:17:49,046 I love it when Janey says hi 241 00:17:49,288 --> 00:17:53,156 I love it when Janey says "See you in English" 242 00:17:56,862 --> 00:18:00,195 I love sitting next to Janey in class 243 00:18:00,399 --> 00:18:06,304 I love staring into Janey's window At 1465 South Pass 244 00:18:07,439 --> 00:18:10,465 I love following Janey to the mall 245 00:18:13,879 --> 00:18:15,540 And I love 246 00:18:15,781 --> 00:18:20,219 Collecting strands of Janey's hair 247 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:26,481 And rolling them up Into little Janey hairballs 248 00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:42,597 Thank you, Ricky, for that interesting poem. 249 00:18:43,476 --> 00:18:46,809 I can't believe what we just did, Molly. 250 00:18:47,013 --> 00:18:52,849 It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will never happen agaln. 251 00:18:53,053 --> 00:18:54,418 I don't know about you guys... 252 00:18:54,621 --> 00:18:57,954 ...but I am really proud of Christy and Molly. 253 00:18:58,625 --> 00:19:00,594 We're going back. 254 00:19:02,997 --> 00:19:06,057 - Put on my shirt. - I'm trying to get mine. 255 00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:17,472 Jackpot. 256 00:19:17,945 --> 00:19:21,039 Girl go pee-pee not what I want to see-see. 257 00:19:21,249 --> 00:19:22,341 I agree-gree. 258 00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:26,417 Would you two please try and be a little open-minded? 259 00:19:26,621 --> 00:19:32,355 Class, let's open our books and continue with our poetry lesson. 260 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,051 You know what I think about poetry? 261 00:19:37,865 --> 00:19:41,029 Oh, is that amusing? 262 00:19:41,603 --> 00:19:45,039 Is that what your generation considers humor? 263 00:19:52,547 --> 00:19:56,074 - This make me kind of happy in pants. - Yeah? 264 00:20:01,623 --> 00:20:02,749 Goodness. 265 00:20:03,258 --> 00:20:06,694 That make me kind of sad in pants. 266 00:20:07,596 --> 00:20:11,293 Shakespeare, Moliere... 267 00:20:11,533 --> 00:20:13,398 ...Oscar Wilde. 268 00:20:13,635 --> 00:20:15,296 These were humorists. 269 00:20:18,073 --> 00:20:19,131 I'm gonna be sick. 270 00:20:20,810 --> 00:20:25,247 The sublime poetic genius of a clever turn of phrase. 271 00:20:25,481 --> 00:20:27,381 That is true comedy. 272 00:20:28,184 --> 00:20:29,549 Heavens to Betsy. 273 00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:37,150 Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded, sophomoric excuse for wit... 274 00:20:39,862 --> 00:20:42,296 ...is merely a parade of nasty... 275 00:20:43,766 --> 00:20:45,791 ...filthy, vulgar... 276 00:20:47,136 --> 00:20:49,730 ...human excrement! 277 00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:12,629 - Hey, Janey. What's up? - Excuse me? 278 00:21:12,863 --> 00:21:16,594 Ever want to be the most popular girl in school? 279 00:21:16,834 --> 00:21:18,825 Anorexic, superficial? 280 00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:22,527 A whore who lacks any real long-term goals? 281 00:21:22,773 --> 00:21:24,263 Exactly. 282 00:21:24,508 --> 00:21:28,205 If you're interested, I thought we could go out sometime. 283 00:21:28,445 --> 00:21:29,742 Be seen in public. 284 00:21:29,980 --> 00:21:34,212 - We haven't spoken in four years. - Actually, more like six. 285 00:21:34,651 --> 00:21:37,848 That time when we were in line at that theater... 286 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:42,185 ...I was actually saying "hey" to the person behind you. 287 00:21:48,833 --> 00:21:52,530 Friday's championship game is agalnst North Compton... 288 00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:55,535 ...and that squad always tries to bring it. 289 00:21:55,774 --> 00:21:58,242 - Bring what, Priscilla? - Bring it. 290 00:21:58,476 --> 00:22:01,001 Right, but what is "it"? 291 00:22:01,379 --> 00:22:03,813 It's just what they bring, okay? 292 00:22:04,015 --> 00:22:06,415 So then it is what. 293 00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:09,815 - What? - Exactly. That's what it is. 294 00:22:10,021 --> 00:22:12,080 No, it is what I want it to be. 295 00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:14,690 Even if what is what what is or it is what what is... 296 00:22:14,893 --> 00:22:16,861 ...it's just it no matter what, got it? 297 00:22:29,608 --> 00:22:34,739 I'm Sandy Sue. It is simply swell to meet all of you. 298 00:22:35,614 --> 00:22:37,878 Peachy. You brought a routine? 299 00:22:38,117 --> 00:22:40,449 Oh, you bet. 300 00:22:41,053 --> 00:22:43,385 Give me an H. Give me a U. 301 00:22:44,323 --> 00:22:47,952 Give me a giant pussy-licking, ass-fucker cock shit! 302 00:22:51,697 --> 00:22:55,690 I'm sorry. That was my Tourette's. 303 00:22:56,569 --> 00:22:59,538 I don't know about her. 304 00:22:59,772 --> 00:23:03,265 Let's get it stralght. This isn't a cheerocracy. 305 00:23:03,710 --> 00:23:05,007 I am the cheertator. 306 00:23:05,245 --> 00:23:09,944 I make the cheercisions, I will deal with the cheeronsequences. 307 00:23:10,183 --> 00:23:13,983 If there are no more cheeruptions, we can cheertinue. 308 00:23:14,754 --> 00:23:16,312 Thank you. 309 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:22,895 Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass! Cum face! 310 00:23:24,965 --> 00:23:27,695 She'll cheer do. Great. 311 00:23:29,269 --> 00:23:32,033 Goddamn it, let's go now! Thirty-two draw! 312 00:23:32,272 --> 00:23:35,673 Goddamn it! Let's show some goddamn hustle! 313 00:23:35,909 --> 00:23:39,470 Look alive out there! This isn't a goddamn tryout! 314 00:23:39,713 --> 00:23:42,046 - Goddamn it! - Blue 21! Hut! 315 00:23:42,283 --> 00:23:43,750 What the hell? 316 00:23:43,985 --> 00:23:46,419 Nobody's covering that hole! 317 00:23:46,654 --> 00:23:49,487 Goddamn it! Let's do it agaln! 318 00:23:50,892 --> 00:23:53,793 - Goddamn it! - Marty! Marty! Marty! 319 00:23:54,562 --> 00:23:56,792 All right, Marty. 320 00:23:58,866 --> 00:24:01,334 - Get your ass in there. - You sure? 321 00:24:01,569 --> 00:24:03,935 Just go, goddamn it. 322 00:24:04,171 --> 00:24:06,366 Wyler, we got this wrapped up. 323 00:24:06,607 --> 00:24:10,600 All you gotta do is run out the clock. 324 00:24:12,613 --> 00:24:15,480 For God's sakes, don't try anything fancy! 325 00:24:15,716 --> 00:24:17,206 Goddamn it. 326 00:24:20,087 --> 00:24:21,817 Listen, boys. 327 00:24:22,057 --> 00:24:24,491 We got time for one more play. 328 00:24:24,726 --> 00:24:27,991 - I say we get the ball to Marty. - Damn. 329 00:24:28,230 --> 00:24:30,994 No, I'm just happy belng on the field. 330 00:24:31,233 --> 00:24:35,670 Coach reckons we should take a knee. We're up 42-0. 331 00:24:35,904 --> 00:24:38,031 I don't care what coach reckons. 332 00:24:38,273 --> 00:24:40,798 You can't go through life belng scared. 333 00:24:41,043 --> 00:24:44,376 If you do, you'll always wonder, "What if?" 334 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,811 But if you go out there and you give it your all... 335 00:24:49,217 --> 00:24:50,878 ...that's heroic. 336 00:24:53,388 --> 00:24:55,356 Guys, I appreciate this, but... 337 00:24:55,591 --> 00:24:57,889 That's the spirlt! Ready? 338 00:25:03,499 --> 00:25:06,161 What are you doing? Get out of here. 339 00:25:06,402 --> 00:25:07,994 Not here. Down there. 340 00:25:08,237 --> 00:25:09,295 Over here? 341 00:25:09,539 --> 00:25:11,564 What are you doing? Over here! 342 00:25:12,175 --> 00:25:13,233 Here? 343 00:25:14,377 --> 00:25:15,742 We love you, Marty! 344 00:25:15,979 --> 00:25:17,571 Set, hut! 345 00:25:28,424 --> 00:25:30,187 No. No. 346 00:25:31,561 --> 00:25:33,722 No, don't throw it to me. 347 00:25:34,430 --> 00:25:35,761 No! 348 00:26:01,825 --> 00:26:05,317 - Nice hands, Marty! - I did it. 349 00:26:06,230 --> 00:26:08,164 - I'm a hero! - Walk it off! 350 00:26:09,466 --> 00:26:13,061 All right, goddamn it! Hit the showers, goddamn it! 351 00:26:13,637 --> 00:26:16,606 Bunch of candy-asses. Lousy practice! 352 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,536 We'll get our asses kicked Friday! 353 00:26:19,777 --> 00:26:23,077 What about fourth-string? I didn't get to practice. 354 00:26:23,314 --> 00:26:27,148 After all the shenanigans you pulled last season... 355 00:26:27,385 --> 00:26:32,186 ...thank God you're still in goddamn uniform, goddamn it! 356 00:26:56,214 --> 00:27:00,446 If my parents hear I got detention, no dessert for a week. 357 00:27:00,686 --> 00:27:02,711 We've disgraced ourselves and our families. 358 00:27:02,922 --> 00:27:04,856 Guys, guys. 359 00:27:05,057 --> 00:27:08,993 I sense the morale's a little low. I say we make a pact... 360 00:27:09,662 --> 00:27:11,425 ...right here, right now. 361 00:27:11,664 --> 00:27:14,827 Before the end of the year, we all get laid! 362 00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:17,332 We always make that pact. 363 00:27:17,570 --> 00:27:20,437 We've been walting for this since puberty. 364 00:27:20,673 --> 00:27:24,006 - Two weeks ago! - I just got first hair on ball. 365 00:27:24,677 --> 00:27:27,145 I don't think you understand. 366 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,013 We'll become the masters of our sexual destiny. 367 00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:35,016 No longer will our penises remaln flaccid and unused. 368 00:27:35,254 --> 00:27:37,722 No longer steal Grandfather's porn. 369 00:27:38,290 --> 00:27:42,022 No longer will we use blindfolds when we jerk each other off. 370 00:27:42,796 --> 00:27:44,388 All right, that's it. 371 00:27:48,268 --> 00:27:50,634 What in God's name is going on? 372 00:27:50,871 --> 00:27:53,499 - What was that ruckus? - I no hear ruckus. 373 00:27:53,740 --> 00:27:57,870 - I heard a ruckus. - Can you describe this ruckus, sir? 374 00:27:58,111 --> 00:28:00,841 You better watch your tongue, young man! 375 00:28:01,081 --> 00:28:02,912 We were just sitting here. 376 00:28:03,150 --> 00:28:06,176 You just bought yourself another detention. 377 00:28:06,419 --> 00:28:09,217 - That's not fair. - Cry me a river, dickface. 378 00:28:09,456 --> 00:28:12,289 - You bought another one. - Eat my shorts. 379 00:28:12,893 --> 00:28:14,190 What was that? 380 00:28:14,427 --> 00:28:17,590 Eat my shorts! 381 00:28:17,831 --> 00:28:20,595 - Don't mess with a bull. - I'm shaking. 382 00:28:20,835 --> 00:28:22,427 - You got another. - Good! 383 00:28:22,670 --> 00:28:25,264 - You through? - Not even close, bud. 384 00:28:25,506 --> 00:28:27,235 - Want another one? - Yes. 385 00:28:27,475 --> 00:28:29,466 - You got it! - Good. 386 00:28:29,677 --> 00:28:31,702 - Another one. Had enough? - No. 387 00:28:31,913 --> 00:28:33,073 - Another one. - So? 388 00:28:33,314 --> 00:28:35,248 - I can keep going. - Go! 389 00:28:35,483 --> 00:28:37,713 - Eenie, meenie, minie... - Moe. 390 00:28:37,919 --> 00:28:39,079 - Your mom's a... - Ho. 391 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,049 - He's a famous clown. - Bobo. 392 00:28:41,255 --> 00:28:43,485 Mitch, cut it out. 393 00:28:44,058 --> 00:28:45,457 Stop. 394 00:28:45,693 --> 00:28:47,627 - Another one. - But I was... 395 00:28:47,862 --> 00:28:49,159 That's another one! 396 00:28:49,397 --> 00:28:52,127 - One more for Ox or for Mitch? - Another. 397 00:28:52,934 --> 00:28:55,061 - I confused. - Shut up, Wang Chung. 398 00:28:55,303 --> 00:28:59,205 I got you for the rest of your lives. You're mine. 399 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:03,202 Next time, I'm cracking skulls. 400 00:29:18,994 --> 00:29:21,622 How many times have I sald I'm not going to Princeton? 401 00:29:21,864 --> 00:29:23,729 I'm not pressuring you. 402 00:29:24,166 --> 00:29:25,827 Just give it four years. 403 00:29:26,068 --> 00:29:29,367 If you don't like it, you can work at my firm. 404 00:29:29,605 --> 00:29:32,369 I don't want your life! 405 00:29:33,175 --> 00:29:34,233 That's okay, son. 406 00:29:34,476 --> 00:29:37,240 I heard about what happened with Priscilla. 407 00:29:37,479 --> 00:29:38,776 The good news is... 408 00:29:38,981 --> 00:29:41,473 ...I've got the perfect rebound girl. 409 00:29:41,718 --> 00:29:42,980 Really? 410 00:29:44,354 --> 00:29:47,050 Beverly! Could you come in here? 411 00:29:53,162 --> 00:29:54,390 That's Mom! 412 00:29:54,664 --> 00:29:56,655 What do you say, kiddo? 413 00:29:57,433 --> 00:29:59,765 I'm gonna leave you two alone. 414 00:30:10,313 --> 00:30:12,474 Would you prefer the top or bottom, dear? 415 00:30:12,682 --> 00:30:15,173 Oh, my God! 416 00:30:15,585 --> 00:30:17,883 So you in love? 417 00:30:20,256 --> 00:30:24,023 - Yeah, I think I am. - Well, who is this guy? 418 00:30:24,261 --> 00:30:28,391 His name is Blane. He's a senior. He's so beautiful. 419 00:30:33,938 --> 00:30:37,305 Janey? Sweetheart? 420 00:30:39,810 --> 00:30:41,209 Hi, Daddy. 421 00:30:41,412 --> 00:30:44,176 Is something wrong? You were quiet at dinner. 422 00:30:44,748 --> 00:30:47,410 You were passed out on the table. 423 00:30:52,890 --> 00:30:54,653 Listen, honey... 424 00:30:54,892 --> 00:30:58,885 ...I may not always be coherent or conscious... 425 00:30:59,163 --> 00:31:03,567 ...but I know when my girl's got something on her mind. 426 00:31:04,002 --> 00:31:06,971 Well, there is this popular boy, Jake. 427 00:31:07,205 --> 00:31:10,834 Oh, sweetie. 428 00:31:12,143 --> 00:31:14,634 Jake knocked you up, didn't he? 429 00:31:14,846 --> 00:31:16,746 No, he asked me out. 430 00:31:18,450 --> 00:31:21,715 Do you like him? Are you attracted to him? 431 00:31:22,053 --> 00:31:24,749 I mean, would you give him head? 432 00:31:24,956 --> 00:31:27,789 He is kind of cute, but... 433 00:31:28,026 --> 00:31:30,358 ...he's always been a total jerk. 434 00:31:30,595 --> 00:31:33,086 It's welrd that he's talking to me now. 435 00:31:33,331 --> 00:31:37,097 Especially after you've packed on a couple of pounds. 436 00:31:41,307 --> 00:31:43,798 What do you think I should do? 437 00:31:44,043 --> 00:31:45,670 Look, sweetie. 438 00:31:45,911 --> 00:31:50,405 I never want you to do anything that compromises who you are... 439 00:31:50,649 --> 00:31:53,982 ...because you're very, very special to me. 440 00:31:54,220 --> 00:31:58,156 If Jake is only asking you out to get into your pants... 441 00:31:58,691 --> 00:32:00,682 ...well, then I'd say... 442 00:32:00,893 --> 00:32:02,690 ...go out with him. 443 00:32:02,928 --> 00:32:06,489 You could certalnly use the popularity points. 444 00:32:06,899 --> 00:32:08,696 And if Jake likes you... 445 00:32:08,934 --> 00:32:14,065 ...then maybe those kids'll quit throwing bags of shit on the porch. 446 00:32:19,612 --> 00:32:21,274 I feel better. 447 00:32:23,884 --> 00:32:26,580 Thanks for the advice, Daddy. 448 00:32:27,521 --> 00:32:30,786 That's what I'm here for, pumpkin-tits. 449 00:32:35,429 --> 00:32:36,396 Catherine. 450 00:32:37,764 --> 00:32:40,892 - I need to ask you a favor. - It's about time. 451 00:32:41,368 --> 00:32:43,393 No, not that. 452 00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:48,107 You're the cruelest girl in high school. 453 00:32:48,341 --> 00:32:52,505 You're the only one who can help trick Janey into liking me. 454 00:32:52,746 --> 00:32:56,273 That girl with the glasses and the ponytalI? 455 00:32:56,516 --> 00:32:59,417 Don't forget the palnt-covered overalls. 456 00:33:00,654 --> 00:33:03,089 Well... 457 00:33:03,324 --> 00:33:05,849 ...it's going to be difficult. 458 00:33:06,627 --> 00:33:08,891 But I think I can help you. 459 00:33:09,130 --> 00:33:10,563 Sit. 460 00:33:13,801 --> 00:33:15,428 For a price. 461 00:33:17,638 --> 00:33:20,801 And this time, I don't want your car. 462 00:33:22,543 --> 00:33:24,204 I want you. 463 00:33:24,545 --> 00:33:28,072 Catherine, that's disgusting. You're my sister. 464 00:33:28,316 --> 00:33:30,807 Only by blood. 465 00:33:31,052 --> 00:33:36,513 - What is wrong with this family? - Hey, do you want my help or not? 466 00:33:50,072 --> 00:33:53,200 Okay, there are three things you need to do... 467 00:33:53,408 --> 00:33:56,172 ...to have Janey eating out of your hand. 468 00:34:04,386 --> 00:34:06,149 First, you earn her trust. 469 00:34:06,889 --> 00:34:07,947 Punk! 470 00:34:08,157 --> 00:34:09,647 Come on, leave him alone! 471 00:34:10,025 --> 00:34:14,018 Hey! Come on, guys, back off. That's enough, okay? 472 00:34:17,799 --> 00:34:19,391 You little shit. 473 00:34:31,047 --> 00:34:33,675 Don't you guys mess with him agaln. 474 00:34:33,917 --> 00:34:38,718 Once you've got her trust, it's time to make her feel special. 475 00:34:39,389 --> 00:34:43,155 Pick a song with her name in it. That always works. 476 00:35:01,177 --> 00:35:04,170 Janey's got a gun 477 00:35:04,448 --> 00:35:05,915 Janey's got a gun 478 00:35:06,150 --> 00:35:08,983 She's got a gun! Janey's got a gun! 479 00:35:09,220 --> 00:35:11,347 The whole world's come undone 480 00:35:12,523 --> 00:35:14,616 Janey Briggs got a gun 481 00:35:15,259 --> 00:35:19,491 So run away Run away from the paln 482 00:35:19,964 --> 00:35:21,158 Take it easy, miss. 483 00:35:21,398 --> 00:35:23,093 - Walt. - Get back here! 484 00:35:23,300 --> 00:35:26,895 Run away, run away from the paln 485 00:35:27,471 --> 00:35:28,733 Hold her down. 486 00:35:31,442 --> 00:35:34,673 Give me your hand! Just give us the gun, Janey. 487 00:35:35,579 --> 00:35:38,776 After you've made her feel special... 488 00:35:39,016 --> 00:35:41,986 ...it's time to put the icing on the cake. 489 00:35:42,220 --> 00:35:44,780 I'm really glad you showed up, Janey. 490 00:35:45,056 --> 00:35:49,823 The only reason I came here was to tell you to leave me alone. 491 00:35:50,061 --> 00:35:53,053 You know, I was just making a snack. 492 00:35:53,298 --> 00:35:55,027 You want one? 493 00:35:55,734 --> 00:35:57,634 No. Listen, Jake... 494 00:35:57,869 --> 00:35:59,564 I'll be right back. 495 00:36:00,372 --> 00:36:01,396 But I... 496 00:36:36,842 --> 00:36:38,469 Hungry? 497 00:36:41,547 --> 00:36:43,014 I don't like sundaes. 498 00:36:43,249 --> 00:36:47,583 It's not a sundae, it's a banana split. 499 00:36:49,188 --> 00:36:53,022 I don't like those elther. Goodbye, Jake. 500 00:37:09,509 --> 00:37:10,840 So, Jake... 501 00:37:11,044 --> 00:37:15,344 ...how's it going with Janey, Janey, I couldn't be any more plalny? 502 00:37:17,150 --> 00:37:22,110 Well, you can ask her when I take her to Preston Wassersteln's big party. 503 00:37:23,590 --> 00:37:24,750 Really? 504 00:37:26,727 --> 00:37:28,456 Really. 505 00:37:30,230 --> 00:37:31,356 How fitting. 506 00:37:31,565 --> 00:37:33,260 Everyone here is eating steak... 507 00:37:33,467 --> 00:37:36,630 ...but your boy, he's the chickenshit. 508 00:37:37,404 --> 00:37:41,306 Jake may not produce the proper enzymes to digest red meat... 509 00:37:41,509 --> 00:37:45,673 ...but he'll always be more of a quarterback than Austin. 510 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,212 Oh, really? 511 00:37:48,416 --> 00:37:50,247 That's right. 512 00:37:50,451 --> 00:37:52,009 Really. 513 00:37:52,220 --> 00:37:55,212 Come on, son. Let's show them. 514 00:37:56,758 --> 00:37:57,782 I smell a bet. 515 00:38:01,195 --> 00:38:02,628 Come on, Austin. 516 00:38:10,304 --> 00:38:12,670 All right, Jake, let's do it. 517 00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:15,536 All right, let's go. 518 00:38:15,743 --> 00:38:18,041 What's the odds, huh? Hey, what's the odds? 519 00:38:18,246 --> 00:38:23,310 What, 2-1? Shit. You stupid damn hog. 520 00:38:24,620 --> 00:38:26,679 Must've been the wind, son. Try agaln. 521 00:38:30,292 --> 00:38:31,850 Damn! 522 00:38:34,797 --> 00:38:37,061 I think I moved that time. 523 00:38:38,100 --> 00:38:39,089 And that time. 524 00:38:43,372 --> 00:38:44,361 Shit! 525 00:38:49,044 --> 00:38:50,739 That is wack. 526 00:38:54,049 --> 00:38:56,347 Just nalI your mother, son. 527 00:38:56,552 --> 00:38:58,850 That's it. That's it. 528 00:38:59,988 --> 00:39:01,353 Way to go, Jake. 529 00:39:01,558 --> 00:39:04,118 At least you kept them in the yard this time. 530 00:39:08,431 --> 00:39:11,366 I left some money on the kitchen counter. 531 00:39:11,601 --> 00:39:14,001 Emergency numbers are by the phone. 532 00:39:14,237 --> 00:39:16,705 And remember, son: No parties. 533 00:39:16,940 --> 00:39:18,202 I know, Dad. 534 00:39:18,575 --> 00:39:20,270 Keg coming through. Hey. 535 00:39:21,077 --> 00:39:22,305 What's up, man? 536 00:39:22,545 --> 00:39:24,536 We're trusting you, Preston. 537 00:39:24,781 --> 00:39:29,013 - Where do you want the speakers? - In the dining room. 538 00:39:29,252 --> 00:39:31,447 You guys should hit the road. 539 00:39:31,688 --> 00:39:34,282 I'm taking your Ferrari to buy hookers. 540 00:39:34,524 --> 00:39:37,049 We'll call you later to check in. 541 00:39:37,293 --> 00:39:40,660 I'll be so high, I won't know where the phone is. 542 00:39:40,897 --> 00:39:42,331 That's my boy. 543 00:39:45,736 --> 00:39:47,931 Jake, what are you doing here? 544 00:39:48,172 --> 00:39:50,800 I'm taking you to Preston's big party. 545 00:39:51,408 --> 00:39:52,432 I can't. 546 00:39:52,676 --> 00:39:56,874 I'm not dressed to go to a party. I'm a complete mess. 547 00:39:57,114 --> 00:40:00,675 I'd say you're one big fucking traln wreck. 548 00:40:18,202 --> 00:40:22,606 Maybe a little cover-up would do the trick. 549 00:40:23,508 --> 00:40:24,702 Okay. 550 00:40:28,547 --> 00:40:31,380 What do we have to work with here? 551 00:40:33,051 --> 00:40:38,011 These are quite nice. 552 00:40:45,030 --> 00:40:47,999 And everything seems to be in working order down here. 553 00:40:53,905 --> 00:40:55,532 What are you doing? 554 00:40:57,409 --> 00:41:00,901 That's it. I've got it. 555 00:41:01,146 --> 00:41:02,307 What? 556 00:41:02,548 --> 00:41:06,541 It might seem crazy, but you'll have to trust me. 557 00:41:34,380 --> 00:41:36,177 That's it. 558 00:41:36,415 --> 00:41:39,213 I did it. I'm a miracle-worker. 559 00:41:42,222 --> 00:41:43,780 Gentlemen... 560 00:41:44,024 --> 00:41:47,084 ...may I present to you the new and improved... 561 00:41:47,661 --> 00:41:49,822 ...Janey Briggs. 562 00:42:24,565 --> 00:42:28,695 Congratulations. You just got your first slow-motion entrance. 563 00:42:51,125 --> 00:42:53,218 I'm okay! 564 00:42:53,461 --> 00:42:54,689 Janey? 565 00:42:56,698 --> 00:43:00,361 Come on out of there, honey. Quit farting around. 566 00:43:09,211 --> 00:43:12,112 - Got your mom's car keys? - Check. 567 00:43:14,316 --> 00:43:15,874 - Sleeping bags. - Check. 568 00:43:16,118 --> 00:43:17,107 - Condoms. - Check. 569 00:43:17,352 --> 00:43:22,483 Three pubescent libidos to take us on a series of wild adventures. 570 00:43:22,725 --> 00:43:24,989 Check! Road trip! 571 00:43:40,476 --> 00:43:41,602 We here. 572 00:43:42,145 --> 00:43:46,104 Gentlemen, tonight we go to our first high school party. 573 00:43:46,716 --> 00:43:49,947 This is the place to buzz the Brillo. 574 00:43:50,186 --> 00:43:52,211 How you plan on buzzing Brillo? 575 00:43:53,356 --> 00:43:57,349 With this letter. Amanda Becker will know the truth: 576 00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,222 I've loved her since I first saw her. 577 00:44:01,464 --> 00:44:03,523 Mitch, that was yesterday. 578 00:44:04,734 --> 00:44:06,099 Welcome to the party. 579 00:44:06,336 --> 00:44:10,602 If you're going to have sex, do it in my parents' bedroom. 580 00:44:11,708 --> 00:44:16,077 - Does she go to our school? - It's not even the same person. 581 00:44:16,312 --> 00:44:18,974 Janey-stalney-stalned-pants-overalls? 582 00:44:19,215 --> 00:44:21,410 How did you talk me into this? 583 00:44:21,651 --> 00:44:26,316 Priscilla's freaking out now that Janey's lost her ponytalI. 584 00:44:26,557 --> 00:44:29,685 I'm going to go fuck a complete stranger. 585 00:44:29,927 --> 00:44:33,021 Hey, I'm a complete stranger. 586 00:44:35,332 --> 00:44:38,824 Relax, all right? It's going to be okay. 587 00:44:39,370 --> 00:44:40,394 Nice turtleneck. 588 00:44:40,638 --> 00:44:42,503 What's your name? 589 00:44:42,740 --> 00:44:46,073 I'm Sandy Sue. Limp-dick fag-fucker! 590 00:44:46,310 --> 00:44:48,335 Who told you that? Alison? 591 00:44:48,579 --> 00:44:51,309 Alison was bitter when we broke up. 592 00:44:51,549 --> 00:44:56,009 - Completely fake. - Yeah, that's not her real hair color. 593 00:44:56,253 --> 00:45:00,383 - She's wearing the same outfit as me. - It looks much better on you. 594 00:45:01,091 --> 00:45:03,458 Where is she? I thought she'd be here by now. 595 00:45:18,877 --> 00:45:20,469 What's going on? 596 00:45:21,780 --> 00:45:26,717 We can't talk until she starts moving again. 597 00:45:42,468 --> 00:45:44,368 What are you doing here? 598 00:45:47,006 --> 00:45:48,132 What do you mean? 599 00:45:48,374 --> 00:45:52,674 I'm supposed to be the only black guy at this party. 600 00:45:53,446 --> 00:45:57,075 - Damn. Shit. - Yeah, I know. 601 00:45:57,316 --> 00:45:58,283 - It's wack. - It's wack. 602 00:45:58,517 --> 00:45:59,575 My bad, man. 603 00:45:59,819 --> 00:46:01,582 - Take this. - Thanks. 604 00:46:01,821 --> 00:46:03,152 Do your thing. 605 00:46:03,789 --> 00:46:07,316 - Peace out, brother. - Honest mistake. 606 00:46:08,694 --> 00:46:09,888 Yeah. 607 00:46:29,516 --> 00:46:32,007 Get back to the line, geek. 608 00:46:35,822 --> 00:46:37,756 Thank you. 609 00:46:45,098 --> 00:46:47,862 Hi, my name is Catherine. 610 00:46:48,568 --> 00:46:53,130 Yeah, I know. We just had sex five minutes ago. 611 00:46:57,544 --> 00:46:59,705 Not scoring any cock elther? 612 00:46:59,947 --> 00:47:03,941 Cock? I've never even been kissed. 613 00:47:26,274 --> 00:47:27,866 Janey. 614 00:47:32,580 --> 00:47:34,445 Janey! 615 00:47:34,849 --> 00:47:36,714 Janey. 616 00:47:45,995 --> 00:47:50,591 What up, my yellow brothers? Chinks in the house! 617 00:48:14,623 --> 00:48:16,488 This never actually happens in real life. 618 00:48:16,692 --> 00:48:18,125 Then why are we doing this? 619 00:48:18,327 --> 00:48:20,090 I have no idea. 620 00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:31,173 Janey! 621 00:48:37,614 --> 00:48:41,710 Reggie Ray, have you seen Janey anywhere? 622 00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:45,552 It's a good night for smoking. 623 00:48:45,789 --> 00:48:47,950 aln't that right, Sausage? 624 00:48:55,665 --> 00:48:59,328 Okay, now close your eyes and wet your lips. 625 00:48:59,569 --> 00:49:03,131 - Are you for real? - Do you want to learn or not? 626 00:49:04,675 --> 00:49:07,473 I guess. 627 00:49:17,621 --> 00:49:22,923 - See? That wasn't so scary. - It was nothing. 628 00:49:24,361 --> 00:49:26,659 Okay. 629 00:49:26,897 --> 00:49:29,388 Let's try agaln. 630 00:49:29,633 --> 00:49:33,967 Only this time, I'm gonna stick my tongue in your mouth. 631 00:49:34,205 --> 00:49:38,767 And when I do that, I want you to massage my tongue with yours. 632 00:49:38,976 --> 00:49:43,346 - And that's what first base is. - Okay. 633 00:49:43,715 --> 00:49:45,342 Eyes closed. 634 00:50:10,775 --> 00:50:12,902 That was cooI. 635 00:50:15,347 --> 00:50:16,871 Now... 636 00:50:17,115 --> 00:50:20,482 ...have you ever eaten pussy before? 637 00:50:22,889 --> 00:50:25,790 You call this a party?! 638 00:50:26,025 --> 00:50:28,619 I'm a golden goddess! 639 00:50:28,861 --> 00:50:31,694 - Show us how drunk you are! - Go for it! 640 00:50:38,171 --> 00:50:40,332 You're a unique rebel, Janey! 641 00:50:41,140 --> 00:50:42,937 Janey, are you all right? 642 00:50:43,876 --> 00:50:48,973 - I told you not to let me drink. - I gave you a nonalcoholic beer. 643 00:50:53,486 --> 00:50:56,250 What the hell are you doing here? 644 00:50:56,489 --> 00:50:57,615 I was invited. 645 00:50:57,857 --> 00:51:02,625 Look, you may have lost those glasses and that ponytalI thing... 646 00:51:02,863 --> 00:51:05,832 ...but you're still a loser. 647 00:51:11,572 --> 00:51:14,735 Look at that. Oh, my God. 648 00:51:14,975 --> 00:51:17,170 That's going to staln. 649 00:51:22,316 --> 00:51:25,547 You're not going to cry now, are you? 650 00:52:07,061 --> 00:52:11,191 Look, you can't just start a slow clap at any old time. 651 00:52:11,432 --> 00:52:17,200 - You gotta walt for the right moment. - When is it the right moment? 652 00:52:19,974 --> 00:52:22,101 You'll know. 653 00:52:34,256 --> 00:52:36,383 Nobody's allowed down here. 654 00:52:37,092 --> 00:52:38,616 Janey, I just thought... 655 00:52:38,861 --> 00:52:42,194 How did you get in here? I dead-bolted the door. 656 00:52:43,432 --> 00:52:45,627 There's a hole in the side of your house. 657 00:52:51,674 --> 00:52:53,767 Who's that? 658 00:52:54,009 --> 00:52:57,206 - It's my mother. - You have her eyes. 659 00:52:59,548 --> 00:53:02,016 She died when I was 6. 660 00:53:03,286 --> 00:53:05,151 I'm sorry. 661 00:53:05,388 --> 00:53:08,380 I remember it like it was yesterday. 662 00:53:08,625 --> 00:53:14,120 Christmas, 1989. Dad had been fired from the zipper factory. 663 00:53:14,331 --> 00:53:17,391 Mom was pulling in tricks to make ends meet. 664 00:53:17,634 --> 00:53:21,001 Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for My Left Foot. 665 00:53:21,204 --> 00:53:24,503 And all I wanted was a little Betsy Wetsy doll. 666 00:53:24,708 --> 00:53:29,873 I remember those. Push her belly, she'd piss all over herself. 667 00:53:30,113 --> 00:53:34,140 She sald she was going out to get my dad a bottle of gin... 668 00:53:34,384 --> 00:53:38,115 ...but I knew she was going to get me that present. 669 00:53:38,355 --> 00:53:42,348 It was ralning really hard that night... 670 00:53:42,625 --> 00:53:45,322 ...and the roads were slippery. 671 00:53:45,830 --> 00:53:49,129 Oh, God, Janey. A car accident. 672 00:53:49,367 --> 00:53:51,528 No. Cancer. 673 00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:58,766 I had to take on all of her responsibilities: 674 00:53:59,009 --> 00:54:02,467 Cooking and cleaning and breast-feeding Mitch. 675 00:54:02,713 --> 00:54:05,876 It's in the past. Think about your future. 676 00:54:06,117 --> 00:54:08,517 Look how talented you are. 677 00:54:08,753 --> 00:54:13,315 I have this dream of just hopping on a plane and going to Paris. 678 00:54:13,557 --> 00:54:16,549 There's an art school, but I can't afford it. 679 00:54:17,094 --> 00:54:21,292 Unless I ralse $26,000 before the admissions cutoff. 680 00:54:21,532 --> 00:54:26,903 My parents give a scholarship to girls who can't get into art school. 681 00:54:27,105 --> 00:54:29,039 Really? That's amazing. 682 00:54:29,241 --> 00:54:33,541 This year we gave it to Lupe, the Mexican finger palnter. 683 00:54:33,779 --> 00:54:35,838 I think you'd really like her work. 684 00:54:37,449 --> 00:54:41,112 Sometimes I wish my life was a fairy tale... 685 00:54:41,353 --> 00:54:44,584 ...and some guy would come and take me away. 686 00:55:09,015 --> 00:55:10,676 - I was... - Yeah, because we... 687 00:55:10,883 --> 00:55:14,876 - My eyes were shut. - And we couldn't even... 688 00:55:22,662 --> 00:55:25,130 I'm gonna... 689 00:55:25,331 --> 00:55:27,891 - I'm going to go. - Okay. 690 00:55:28,901 --> 00:55:32,029 Congratulations to the men and women nominated for prom queen. 691 00:55:36,609 --> 00:55:38,099 Janey! 692 00:55:38,311 --> 00:55:40,279 - Janey. - What a nerd. 693 00:55:42,415 --> 00:55:44,179 Hi. Check it out. 694 00:55:44,384 --> 00:55:46,614 You have been nominated for prom queen. 695 00:55:46,820 --> 00:55:49,050 - What? - Yeah. 696 00:55:50,791 --> 00:55:53,089 - I can't believe it. - Yeah. 697 00:55:53,293 --> 00:55:56,387 So do you have a date yet? 698 00:55:56,597 --> 00:55:59,259 No, nobody's asked me. 699 00:55:59,466 --> 00:56:02,492 Do you wanna go? 700 00:56:02,703 --> 00:56:05,536 Of course, if somebody asked me. 701 00:56:05,739 --> 00:56:08,401 Then I'm asking you right now. 702 00:56:08,609 --> 00:56:10,600 About what? 703 00:56:10,811 --> 00:56:12,676 The prom. 704 00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,371 Yeah, I know. It's on Saturday, silly. 705 00:56:15,582 --> 00:56:17,573 See you in English. 706 00:56:17,784 --> 00:56:19,479 Okay. 707 00:56:20,220 --> 00:56:22,347 I had a feeling you were gonna say that. 708 00:56:33,868 --> 00:56:37,634 Think you'll be prom queen? Well, think agaln, Janey. 709 00:56:37,839 --> 00:56:41,900 You put the "ass" in "embarrassment," the "boo" in "taboo." 710 00:56:42,143 --> 00:56:45,135 And the "suck" in "liposuction." 711 00:56:48,750 --> 00:56:50,445 Is that the best you can do? 712 00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:53,414 No. 713 00:56:53,655 --> 00:56:56,715 You also put the "brat" in "bratwurst." 714 00:56:56,925 --> 00:56:59,860 And the "eew" in "jujitsu." 715 00:57:00,061 --> 00:57:04,795 And the "ism" in "This is all just a defense mechanism." 716 00:57:09,038 --> 00:57:13,668 So I told her, "Take the old lady and send your mama back." 717 00:57:14,977 --> 00:57:19,641 So you asked your four-eyed circus freak to the prom yet? 718 00:57:19,882 --> 00:57:21,941 - We resent that! - We resent that! 719 00:57:23,586 --> 00:57:26,578 Why don't you just drop it, Austin. 720 00:57:26,855 --> 00:57:31,690 Jake made a few palnt stalns in his pants thinking about Janey. 721 00:57:32,528 --> 00:57:35,497 It's just a bet. Okay, man? 722 00:57:35,965 --> 00:57:38,661 You always had a thing for ugly girls... 723 00:57:38,901 --> 00:57:42,462 ...Mr. I-Have- a- Thing-for-Ugly-Girls. 724 00:57:44,874 --> 00:57:46,307 You mean Janey? 725 00:57:46,543 --> 00:57:50,104 She looks as good as a dumpster full of gristles. 726 00:57:50,447 --> 00:57:52,881 Bling-bling. 727 00:57:54,451 --> 00:57:56,817 Janey Briggs... 728 00:57:57,053 --> 00:57:58,645 ...is hot. 729 00:58:15,772 --> 00:58:18,570 - Hey, Janey. - Hey, Jake. 730 00:58:18,808 --> 00:58:21,675 I've been doing a lot of thinking... 731 00:58:21,911 --> 00:58:26,679 ...and there's something I want to ask you. 732 00:58:26,917 --> 00:58:29,784 I don't want to make a big deal of it... 733 00:58:30,021 --> 00:58:34,458 ...so I'm just gonna lay it out there, okay? 734 00:58:35,192 --> 00:58:37,126 Here it is. 735 00:58:39,263 --> 00:58:42,232 See, I don't like making big speeches. 736 00:58:42,466 --> 00:58:46,163 I'm a stralght shooter. I call them like I see them. 737 00:58:46,604 --> 00:58:48,572 What you see is what you get. 738 00:58:49,273 --> 00:58:54,336 aln't nobody gonna break my stride. aln't nobody gonna slow me down. 739 00:58:54,578 --> 00:58:57,877 Jake, are you trying to ask me to the...? 740 00:58:58,115 --> 00:59:00,174 Yeah. 741 00:59:00,418 --> 00:59:02,477 I'd love to go with you. 742 00:59:07,225 --> 00:59:09,591 Great. Great. 743 00:59:12,664 --> 00:59:13,995 I'll see you in English. 744 00:59:14,332 --> 00:59:15,697 You... 745 00:59:17,903 --> 00:59:19,700 It's Friday night, it's 8:00... 746 00:59:19,905 --> 00:59:21,896 ...and that can only mean one thing. 747 00:59:22,107 --> 00:59:25,873 You guessed it. A new episode of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. 748 00:59:27,345 --> 00:59:29,370 But if you're not a fan of Melissa Joan Hart... 749 00:59:29,581 --> 00:59:31,014 ...and I'm not sure who isn't... 750 00:59:31,216 --> 00:59:33,184 ...there's a state championship to be played. 751 00:59:35,987 --> 00:59:39,514 All right. It's time to play some football! 752 00:59:39,725 --> 00:59:45,028 The John Hughes Wasps take on the North Compton Wildcats. 753 01:00:02,915 --> 01:00:04,507 Goddamn! 754 01:00:12,024 --> 01:00:15,016 That's the fastest half of football ever. 755 01:00:19,932 --> 01:00:23,664 We saw you at our practice. I know you stole our routine. 756 01:00:23,904 --> 01:00:28,637 I don't know what you mean. We do our own cheers. Right, girls? 757 01:00:28,876 --> 01:00:29,900 That's right. 758 01:00:30,110 --> 01:00:33,136 Well, then, you better bring it. 759 01:00:33,380 --> 01:00:35,644 Oh, it's already been broughten. 760 01:00:36,350 --> 01:00:38,648 Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah! 761 01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:42,211 We are the North Compton Wildcats 762 01:00:42,456 --> 01:00:44,014 We're black, we know it 763 01:00:44,224 --> 01:00:46,419 We shake our booty and show it 764 01:00:46,660 --> 01:00:48,457 We aln't white We aln't white 765 01:00:48,662 --> 01:00:51,961 We definitely aln't white Break it down, nigga 766 01:00:57,838 --> 01:01:00,636 Damn, those bitches represent! 767 01:01:08,616 --> 01:01:09,605 All right! 768 01:01:10,652 --> 01:01:12,779 - Reggie Ray. - I smell a bet. 769 01:01:13,955 --> 01:01:15,388 You all right? 770 01:01:15,590 --> 01:01:18,582 Coach says it's okay to bleed from the ears. 771 01:01:23,998 --> 01:01:27,024 I got to go back out on the field. 772 01:01:28,469 --> 01:01:31,438 All right. Be careful. You only have three... 773 01:01:32,407 --> 01:01:35,843 Two concussions left. Reggie Ray. 774 01:01:36,077 --> 01:01:37,704 And we're back. 775 01:01:39,514 --> 01:01:41,448 Let's go, Wasps! 776 01:01:42,217 --> 01:01:43,947 Let's go, Wasps! 777 01:01:44,920 --> 01:01:46,148 Let's go, Wasps! 778 01:01:48,090 --> 01:01:49,819 Blue 33! Set! 779 01:01:51,961 --> 01:01:53,724 That's defense right there. 780 01:01:55,030 --> 01:01:57,123 Say "good day" to Reggie Ray. 781 01:01:59,668 --> 01:02:02,694 Sit down. He got the wind knocked out of him. 782 01:02:03,072 --> 01:02:06,405 - Come on, Reggie Ray, get up! - Reggie Ray. 783 01:02:06,609 --> 01:02:08,873 You still have another concussion! 784 01:02:12,081 --> 01:02:13,048 Come on, dog! 785 01:02:13,916 --> 01:02:16,214 It doesn't look good, coach. 786 01:02:16,452 --> 01:02:18,477 - Can he play? - He's in a coma. 787 01:02:18,721 --> 01:02:21,781 Answer my question! Can he play? 788 01:02:22,024 --> 01:02:24,892 He can't breathe. Get him to a hospital. 789 01:02:25,128 --> 01:02:26,152 Listen right now! 790 01:02:26,496 --> 01:02:31,991 I don't care what you have to do! He stays in the game, goddamn it! 791 01:02:33,303 --> 01:02:35,362 - Coach, I'm in love with you. - Goddamn it! 792 01:02:35,572 --> 01:02:36,971 Fuck. 793 01:02:43,914 --> 01:02:46,781 Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy. 794 01:02:47,317 --> 01:02:48,579 Blue 15! 795 01:02:51,421 --> 01:02:52,888 Set! Hut! 796 01:02:56,793 --> 01:02:58,886 Goddamn it, Reggie Ray! 797 01:02:59,963 --> 01:03:01,294 Shit. 798 01:03:20,551 --> 01:03:23,543 Wham, bam, what the fuck just happened? 799 01:03:26,757 --> 01:03:31,558 Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice. You're the only quarterback I've got. 800 01:03:32,897 --> 01:03:37,163 - I say give the ball to Marty. - I'm just happy belng on the field. 801 01:03:38,135 --> 01:03:42,572 - You'll always wonder, "What if?" - I'm a hero! 802 01:03:44,476 --> 01:03:46,637 Goddamn it! Get in the game! 803 01:03:46,878 --> 01:03:48,470 You're our only chance! 804 01:03:49,915 --> 01:03:53,908 - You're a pussy, Wyler! - Do it for Marty's torso! 805 01:03:57,589 --> 01:03:59,250 You got butterflies, huh? 806 01:03:59,658 --> 01:04:00,716 Who are you? 807 01:04:08,467 --> 01:04:09,661 I'm the wise janitor. 808 01:04:10,235 --> 01:04:13,363 I impart knowledge and help overcome fears. 809 01:04:13,605 --> 01:04:15,766 I also replace the urinal cakes. 810 01:04:16,008 --> 01:04:18,636 I'm here to help you get your throw back. 811 01:04:19,511 --> 01:04:21,479 - How did you...? - I've been watching. 812 01:04:21,713 --> 01:04:26,242 During practice, in the hallways, in the lockers, taking a shower... 813 01:04:26,486 --> 01:04:29,455 ...whipping boys with a wet towel. 814 01:04:29,689 --> 01:04:34,217 - Can tell you kind of like that. - Hey! Let's get back to the throw. 815 01:04:34,460 --> 01:04:37,224 What happened to Marty wasn't your fault. 816 01:04:37,463 --> 01:04:38,430 Really? 817 01:04:38,631 --> 01:04:41,862 Okay, it was. But you got to get over it. 818 01:04:42,068 --> 01:04:44,400 It could've happened to anybody. 819 01:04:44,637 --> 01:04:48,095 Anybody that disobeyed the coach and the team... 820 01:04:48,307 --> 01:04:53,210 ...and threw to a 90-pound kid who shouldn't have been on the field. 821 01:04:53,413 --> 01:04:57,315 Stop! How is any of this supposed to be helping me? 822 01:04:57,517 --> 01:04:59,508 Right. Forget what I sald. 823 01:04:59,752 --> 01:05:04,452 You got to go out there, believe in the ball and throw yourself. 824 01:05:04,858 --> 01:05:06,985 You can do it. 825 01:05:11,498 --> 01:05:13,659 I'm going out there. 826 01:05:19,973 --> 01:05:23,568 Only 25 seconds remalning, and the season... 827 01:05:23,811 --> 01:05:28,077 ...rests in the hands of fourth-string quarterback Jake Wyler. 828 01:05:28,315 --> 01:05:31,375 Translation: We're shit out of luck. 829 01:05:31,819 --> 01:05:33,150 Give me a W! 830 01:05:34,154 --> 01:05:36,247 Give me a Y! 831 01:05:36,457 --> 01:05:39,688 Give me a... Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 832 01:05:40,527 --> 01:05:43,087 Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 833 01:05:47,435 --> 01:05:48,561 Blue 83! 834 01:05:48,803 --> 01:05:51,067 - Blue 83! - Reggie Ray? 835 01:05:51,306 --> 01:05:53,297 I reckon I'm feeling better. 836 01:05:53,541 --> 01:05:54,872 Set! Hut! 837 01:06:39,355 --> 01:06:40,481 Shit. 838 01:06:54,837 --> 01:06:59,297 That has to be the worst pass I've ever seen, ever. 839 01:07:01,510 --> 01:07:03,478 What the hell was that? 840 01:07:31,675 --> 01:07:32,869 Jake? 841 01:07:35,545 --> 01:07:36,739 Jake. 842 01:07:38,648 --> 01:07:39,842 Hey. 843 01:07:40,450 --> 01:07:43,943 - You did great out there. - I blew the game, Janey. 844 01:07:44,188 --> 01:07:45,587 I let everyone down. 845 01:07:45,823 --> 01:07:50,590 It's just a football game, Jake. Besides... 846 01:07:51,829 --> 01:07:53,694 ...you didn't let me down. 847 01:07:54,265 --> 01:07:55,459 Really? 848 01:07:56,901 --> 01:07:59,597 Jake, you've taught me to be myself. 849 01:07:59,837 --> 01:08:02,829 You never saw me as the girl in glasses. 850 01:08:03,074 --> 01:08:05,599 Don't forget the palnt-covered overalls. 851 01:08:05,843 --> 01:08:08,539 Right, you never noticed those elther. 852 01:08:09,580 --> 01:08:12,048 You taught me a lot about myself too. 853 01:08:12,583 --> 01:08:16,747 Oh, Jake. Nothing could ever come between us now. 854 01:08:20,891 --> 01:08:23,086 Nothing could ever come between us now. 855 01:08:23,294 --> 01:08:24,523 Jake Wyler. 856 01:08:26,331 --> 01:08:29,732 Congratulations. You blew my perfect season. 857 01:08:29,968 --> 01:08:33,927 - Senor You-Blew-My-Perfect-Season. - What do you want, Austin? 858 01:08:34,172 --> 01:08:35,139 A life. 859 01:08:36,808 --> 01:08:38,275 And payback. 860 01:08:38,744 --> 01:08:41,907 - Come on, don't do this. - No, I'll hang around. 861 01:08:42,147 --> 01:08:47,050 Maybe tell Janey a little S-E-C-R-A-T-P... 862 01:08:50,522 --> 01:08:52,183 What's going on? 863 01:08:52,391 --> 01:08:54,120 Austin. 864 01:08:54,326 --> 01:08:55,418 This isn't funny! 865 01:08:56,995 --> 01:08:57,962 No. 866 01:08:59,431 --> 01:09:00,625 I don't believe it. 867 01:09:00,866 --> 01:09:05,531 I sald I'd turn you into prom queen when I thought you were ugly... 868 01:09:05,738 --> 01:09:11,176 ...the girl with no friends who was dirt poor and smelled a little funky. 869 01:09:11,411 --> 01:09:13,811 Look, I made a mistake. 870 01:09:14,047 --> 01:09:18,211 If I could go back, I never would've made that stupid bet. 871 01:09:21,454 --> 01:09:23,513 What bet? 872 01:09:26,526 --> 01:09:29,984 I never sald anything about a bet. 873 01:09:39,939 --> 01:09:41,099 All I sald was: 874 01:09:41,341 --> 01:09:43,206 "I'm pretending to whisper... 875 01:09:43,443 --> 01:09:48,507 ...so Jake thinks I'm telling you a secret and will confess... 876 01:09:48,749 --> 01:09:54,187 ...revealing a secret and confirming everything I whispered in your ear." 877 01:10:20,147 --> 01:10:23,480 I wish I didn't make that bet 878 01:10:23,717 --> 01:10:27,313 That's not the guy I want to be 879 01:10:27,555 --> 01:10:30,991 If I could just turn back the clock 880 01:10:31,226 --> 01:10:36,129 Then Janey would still be with me 881 01:10:39,067 --> 01:10:42,161 Tell me, Mom, what should I do? 882 01:10:42,570 --> 01:10:44,037 I love this boy 883 01:10:44,272 --> 01:10:49,209 But he has been untrue 884 01:10:51,880 --> 01:10:54,974 I'll do my best to make things right 885 01:10:55,850 --> 01:10:59,479 I wish we could resolve this fight 886 01:11:00,355 --> 01:11:02,152 It could happen 887 01:11:02,390 --> 01:11:03,823 It could happen 888 01:11:04,059 --> 01:11:08,155 - At the prom tonight - At the prom tonight 889 01:11:13,736 --> 01:11:16,671 I'm getting pussy no matter what 890 01:11:16,939 --> 01:11:19,669 Even if it with dirty slut 891 01:11:19,909 --> 01:11:22,503 True love is what I want the most 892 01:11:22,745 --> 01:11:26,272 I just jerked off in your French toast 893 01:11:26,882 --> 01:11:31,376 So what if we have the same mother 894 01:11:32,822 --> 01:11:37,885 Tonight I'm gonna fuck my brother 895 01:11:38,327 --> 01:11:41,091 In a few hours I'll be queen of the prom 896 01:11:44,134 --> 01:11:47,695 I've been an alcoholic Since my first tour in Nam 897 01:11:50,073 --> 01:11:53,873 I asked Janey to the prom And she doesn't know why 898 01:11:56,179 --> 01:11:59,808 I'm only in the song because I'm a black guy 899 01:12:03,186 --> 01:12:07,987 I have no money I have to make my own dress 900 01:12:09,826 --> 01:12:14,820 Look at me, my breasts are perky, yes 901 01:12:15,632 --> 01:12:18,601 I'm gonna win her back No matter what it takes 902 01:12:18,835 --> 01:12:23,465 Here I go, I'm gonna Forget about Jake 903 01:12:26,878 --> 01:12:28,709 Prom tonight 904 01:12:30,748 --> 01:12:32,613 Prom tonight 905 01:12:34,151 --> 01:12:35,516 Prom tonight 906 01:12:40,992 --> 01:12:43,620 It's gonna happen, gonna happen 907 01:12:47,331 --> 01:12:51,791 At the prom 908 01:12:54,338 --> 01:12:55,327 Tonight 909 01:13:17,930 --> 01:13:19,056 Hi, Ricky. 910 01:13:19,264 --> 01:13:21,164 Thanks. See you in English. 911 01:13:21,366 --> 01:13:23,493 Oh, but we're graduated. 912 01:13:23,702 --> 01:13:26,330 All right, can you...? I'm not... No, can you take it ba...? 913 01:13:26,538 --> 01:13:28,665 Can you please not...? All right. 914 01:13:38,517 --> 01:13:44,479 When I was a freshman, I threw 176 touchdown passes. 915 01:13:44,824 --> 01:13:50,126 My sophomore year, I ran 14 in on my own with a spralned ankle... 916 01:13:50,363 --> 01:13:54,663 ...a broken phalange, a ruptured duodenum and subdermal hematoma. 917 01:13:55,368 --> 01:13:57,359 When I was a junior, I won the science fair... 918 01:13:57,570 --> 01:13:59,538 ...for running a Volkswagen Bug off a potato. 919 01:13:59,739 --> 01:14:06,372 Most recently, I was a star of the Greco-Roman Wrestling Federation. 920 01:14:24,498 --> 01:14:26,728 I bet she great bonk. 921 01:14:26,967 --> 01:14:30,334 Excuse me, Bruce? No. You don't bonk Amanda Becker. 922 01:14:30,938 --> 01:14:34,704 You make sweet, sweet love to her. 923 01:14:35,409 --> 01:14:37,639 Amanda Becker's like a flower. 924 01:14:38,278 --> 01:14:39,768 You smell her. 925 01:14:40,014 --> 01:14:41,948 You touch her gently. 926 01:14:42,483 --> 01:14:46,977 You admire the beauty. You watch it blossom. 927 01:14:47,755 --> 01:14:52,124 And you thank God he created something so perfect. 928 01:14:54,862 --> 01:14:56,329 Go to her. 929 01:15:08,943 --> 01:15:10,934 Be strong, Mitch! 930 01:15:24,059 --> 01:15:26,789 What do you expect from me? 931 01:15:27,462 --> 01:15:31,990 - Do you think I'll have sex with you? - No! You don't understand. 932 01:15:32,233 --> 01:15:34,292 Because I am not a cheap slut. 933 01:15:34,536 --> 01:15:38,996 I don't screw every pathetic guy that gives me a letter. 934 01:15:41,176 --> 01:15:43,770 I give them hand jobs. 935 01:15:51,387 --> 01:15:55,016 - Want to dance? - Only if we're horizontal. 936 01:15:55,624 --> 01:15:58,218 I totally heard that. 937 01:16:11,540 --> 01:16:13,599 We're dancing. 938 01:16:34,931 --> 01:16:35,898 It's funny. 939 01:16:36,133 --> 01:16:40,160 You'd never suspect everyone here is a professional dancer. 940 01:16:54,317 --> 01:16:55,648 Oh, God. No. 941 01:16:55,886 --> 01:16:57,979 I want to do it here on the dance floor. 942 01:16:58,188 --> 01:16:59,314 Janey! 943 01:16:59,523 --> 01:17:03,323 Don't you forget our deal. She wins, you're mine. 944 01:17:15,106 --> 01:17:19,202 And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet... 945 01:17:19,443 --> 01:17:24,005 ...to turn a rebellious girl into prom queen has been walting for: 946 01:17:24,248 --> 01:17:27,547 The announcement of the prom king and queen. 947 01:17:27,785 --> 01:17:30,276 This year's prom king is... 948 01:17:30,988 --> 01:17:31,977 Marty! 949 01:17:32,723 --> 01:17:35,021 ...Jake Wyler! 950 01:17:49,374 --> 01:17:50,807 Way to go, Jake! 951 01:17:51,410 --> 01:17:54,311 This year's prom queen is... 952 01:17:54,513 --> 01:17:56,413 You got it, Priscilla! 953 01:17:56,615 --> 01:17:59,516 I don't believe it. It's a tie. 954 01:18:00,118 --> 01:18:01,085 A tie? 955 01:18:01,320 --> 01:18:02,947 - Holy shit! - Oh, my God. 956 01:18:04,656 --> 01:18:06,920 Your new prom queens are... 957 01:18:08,393 --> 01:18:11,851 ...Kara and Sara Fratelli. - Fuck. 958 01:18:12,931 --> 01:18:16,731 - Oh, my God! - They deserve it. 959 01:18:19,171 --> 01:18:20,468 Congratulations! 960 01:18:22,774 --> 01:18:26,472 There we go! Your king and queen. 961 01:18:32,719 --> 01:18:35,847 I say we make like a tree and branch... 962 01:18:36,856 --> 01:18:38,847 ...out of here. 963 01:18:40,260 --> 01:18:41,852 All right, Kara and Sara. 964 01:18:42,095 --> 01:18:45,724 Now it is traditional for the king and queen... 965 01:18:45,932 --> 01:18:49,527 ...to share a ceremonial dance. - Come here. 966 01:18:50,870 --> 01:18:55,773 Put your heads on my shoulder 967 01:19:00,013 --> 01:19:01,605 You smell good. 968 01:19:15,195 --> 01:19:16,560 Janey! 969 01:19:21,302 --> 01:19:23,463 Do you know where Austin went? 970 01:19:23,704 --> 01:19:27,697 I know he rented a room at the Sunrise Motel. Room number six. 971 01:19:27,942 --> 01:19:32,072 Past the ice dispenser. Hit the Pepsi machine, you went too far. 972 01:19:32,313 --> 01:19:34,781 Oh, and the door will not be locked. 973 01:19:37,384 --> 01:19:38,715 That's all I know. 974 01:19:39,987 --> 01:19:41,215 Thanks, Malik. 975 01:19:43,590 --> 01:19:48,460 You're intelligent and insightful. You don't get the respect you deserve. 976 01:19:51,166 --> 01:19:53,430 You really mean that, Jake? 977 01:19:53,635 --> 01:19:56,798 That's great! I've always wanted to discuss... 978 01:19:57,005 --> 01:19:59,371 I actually got to go. Sorry. 979 01:19:59,607 --> 01:20:00,665 Motherfucker. 980 01:20:00,909 --> 01:20:02,740 Hold it right there, mister. 981 01:20:03,278 --> 01:20:08,477 I am not going to let you hurt Janey agaln, okay? Besides, I love her. 982 01:20:08,683 --> 01:20:09,809 Well, so do I. 983 01:20:10,719 --> 01:20:15,383 But I'm the best friend, and I've been in front of her the whole time... 984 01:20:15,623 --> 01:20:19,787 ...and she just doesn't realize it yet, but she will. 985 01:20:20,261 --> 01:20:23,753 I'm the cooI guy who's learned the error of his ways. 986 01:20:24,132 --> 01:20:27,432 She'll forgive my mistakes and realize I love her. 987 01:20:29,238 --> 01:20:30,762 Damn it. That's true. 988 01:20:45,721 --> 01:20:48,952 Why's this door locked? It's a fire hazard! 989 01:21:04,240 --> 01:21:06,266 Get out of the road! 990 01:21:06,510 --> 01:21:07,943 Hey, watch it, man! 991 01:21:09,179 --> 01:21:11,374 She's not attracted to you! 992 01:21:12,149 --> 01:21:13,810 She doesn't love you! 993 01:21:14,851 --> 01:21:17,342 You'll never be more than a friend! 994 01:21:18,388 --> 01:21:20,515 Two dollars! 995 01:21:29,599 --> 01:21:31,760 Ice dispenser. 996 01:21:32,002 --> 01:21:33,367 Six. 997 01:21:33,837 --> 01:21:37,864 Yeah! I'll make you forget all about losing prom queen. 998 01:21:38,108 --> 01:21:41,566 Tell me who your daddy is! Tell me who your papa is! 999 01:21:44,247 --> 01:21:46,478 Get off her, man! 1000 01:21:46,717 --> 01:21:47,843 Priscilla. 1001 01:21:48,052 --> 01:21:49,519 Don't move. 1002 01:21:54,392 --> 01:21:57,088 - What's going on? - Something beautiful. 1003 01:21:58,129 --> 01:22:01,292 - Where's Janey? - Miss Run-Home-to-My-Daddy... 1004 01:22:01,532 --> 01:22:04,262 ...ran home to her daddy. 1005 01:22:05,236 --> 01:22:08,831 - That's for taking Janey to the prom. - You put the... 1006 01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:13,807 - That's for hurting her at the party! - This is really turning me on. 1007 01:22:14,278 --> 01:22:17,111 That's for belng really welrd. 1008 01:22:17,381 --> 01:22:18,848 Thank you. 1009 01:22:24,322 --> 01:22:26,757 I don't know what that was for. 1010 01:22:34,967 --> 01:22:38,960 - Oh, me so horny. - Oh, me so horny. 1011 01:22:40,772 --> 01:22:45,141 You nerd who can't get pussy from American girl? 1012 01:22:45,344 --> 01:22:47,437 You smart cookie. How you know? 1013 01:22:47,646 --> 01:22:49,238 I know. 1014 01:22:49,448 --> 01:22:54,112 You follow me, I give you sucky-sucky. 1015 01:22:58,023 --> 01:23:00,787 Hey! What's everybody standing around for? 1016 01:23:01,160 --> 01:23:03,560 Come on. Join the fun! 1017 01:23:05,798 --> 01:23:07,629 Watch me! 1018 01:23:08,735 --> 01:23:10,999 Get footloose everybody! Yeah! 1019 01:23:11,204 --> 01:23:14,071 One, two, three. Come on, you can... 1020 01:23:14,707 --> 01:23:16,402 Kick him in the butt! 1021 01:23:22,348 --> 01:23:24,009 Hello. 1022 01:23:25,885 --> 01:23:27,079 Hi. 1023 01:23:28,454 --> 01:23:31,855 I never thought I'd hear myself say this... 1024 01:23:32,292 --> 01:23:37,696 ...but for once, I wish I could meet a nice, sensitive guy... 1025 01:23:37,897 --> 01:23:40,730 ...who wanted more than just sex. 1026 01:23:42,335 --> 01:23:45,032 That is very admirable. 1027 01:23:47,942 --> 01:23:50,604 I wish a guy would take me out for dinner. 1028 01:23:51,245 --> 01:23:52,837 I feel the same way. 1029 01:23:55,049 --> 01:23:56,778 And for once... 1030 01:23:58,819 --> 01:24:03,017 ...I wish a guy would take a dump on my chest. 1031 01:24:05,125 --> 01:24:07,059 That is appalling. 1032 01:24:11,365 --> 01:24:13,333 That really upsets me. 1033 01:24:14,802 --> 01:24:18,863 I can't believe nobody's ever taken a dump on your chest. 1034 01:24:22,543 --> 01:24:24,067 Will you be that guy? 1035 01:24:30,952 --> 01:24:34,444 It would be an honor and a privilege. 1036 01:24:45,033 --> 01:24:46,830 Janey! 1037 01:24:50,105 --> 01:24:51,163 Hello? 1038 01:24:52,107 --> 01:24:53,938 Is anybody home? 1039 01:24:54,509 --> 01:24:56,943 Get down! Enemy fire! 1040 01:24:58,313 --> 01:24:59,974 Mr. Briggs? 1041 01:25:00,215 --> 01:25:03,207 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where Janey is? 1042 01:25:03,451 --> 01:25:07,912 She went out there. On her own. There's Charlie everywhere. 1043 01:25:08,457 --> 01:25:10,789 Right. Do you know where she went? 1044 01:25:11,193 --> 01:25:13,821 Couldn't take it. Went to the airport. 1045 01:25:14,063 --> 01:25:18,762 Something about Paris. Her tour was over. 1046 01:25:19,068 --> 01:25:21,161 Paris. Thank you, sir. 1047 01:25:21,737 --> 01:25:25,298 I need ammo! I can't hold them off much longer! 1048 01:25:33,182 --> 01:25:35,173 She's not here. 1049 01:25:35,384 --> 01:25:37,579 Went to the airport. 1050 01:25:38,721 --> 01:25:40,154 Thanks. 1051 01:25:40,356 --> 01:25:41,983 You're welcome. 1052 01:25:48,532 --> 01:25:51,524 Off the road, you glasses and ponytalI freak! 1053 01:26:04,848 --> 01:26:06,076 Two dollars! 1054 01:26:06,283 --> 01:26:08,376 - Two dollars! - Two dollars! 1055 01:26:14,825 --> 01:26:16,918 Next stop, airport. 1056 01:26:17,194 --> 01:26:21,756 The red zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers. 1057 01:26:21,998 --> 01:26:23,397 No parking. 1058 01:26:23,633 --> 01:26:24,861 Attention, please. 1059 01:26:25,103 --> 01:26:30,405 All red Porsche 944s parked in the white zone will be towed immediately. 1060 01:26:35,747 --> 01:26:39,239 Paris air, flight 805 to art school in Paris... 1061 01:26:39,484 --> 01:26:41,714 ...from gate 122, is now boarding. 1062 01:26:55,199 --> 01:26:57,531 Excuse me, everyone! 1063 01:26:58,169 --> 01:27:02,333 There's a girl boarding a plane right now to Paris that I love. 1064 01:27:04,008 --> 01:27:07,570 If I don't get there in time and tell her how I feel... 1065 01:27:07,813 --> 01:27:10,407 ...I may never see her agaln. 1066 01:27:14,353 --> 01:27:15,445 Go get her, son. 1067 01:27:16,522 --> 01:27:17,853 Good luck, young man. 1068 01:27:20,359 --> 01:27:22,020 - Go get her! - Go for it. 1069 01:27:24,696 --> 01:27:26,027 Oh, hell, just go. 1070 01:27:28,867 --> 01:27:29,925 Freeze, bitch! 1071 01:27:40,879 --> 01:27:43,347 You're bleeding on my suitcase. 1072 01:27:49,656 --> 01:27:50,623 Excuse me! 1073 01:27:51,724 --> 01:27:53,123 Excuse me, everyone! 1074 01:27:53,693 --> 01:27:59,154 There's a girl about to board a plane to Paris right now that I love... 1075 01:27:59,365 --> 01:28:02,960 We already heard that one. Asshole. 1076 01:28:04,804 --> 01:28:09,741 This is the final call for Paris air flight 805 to art school... 1077 01:28:09,976 --> 01:28:12,240 ...departing from gate 122. 1078 01:28:12,445 --> 01:28:14,003 Janey! 1079 01:28:15,148 --> 01:28:17,343 Hey, shithead, that's mine. 1080 01:28:17,584 --> 01:28:18,881 Give it back! 1081 01:28:19,252 --> 01:28:23,484 Just believe in the ball, Jake. And throw yourself. 1082 01:28:24,357 --> 01:28:25,552 Yeah. 1083 01:28:35,135 --> 01:28:36,102 Yes! 1084 01:28:36,303 --> 01:28:37,702 Nice shot, Jake. 1085 01:28:40,241 --> 01:28:41,401 - Jake? - Janey. 1086 01:28:41,609 --> 01:28:44,009 Thank God I got to you in time. Listen to me. 1087 01:28:44,445 --> 01:28:46,675 I'm not going to let you go to Paris. 1088 01:28:47,314 --> 01:28:50,044 - This is the final call... - Why not? 1089 01:28:50,284 --> 01:28:52,445 ...for flight 805 to art school. 1090 01:28:52,686 --> 01:28:58,352 If you're finding words to stop a girl from leaving, now would be the time. 1091 01:28:58,559 --> 01:29:00,151 Janey... 1092 01:29:01,595 --> 01:29:05,293 ...I made that bet before I knew you. 1093 01:29:06,768 --> 01:29:08,895 Before I really knew me. 1094 01:29:10,839 --> 01:29:11,999 Oh, Jake. 1095 01:29:14,042 --> 01:29:15,873 Okay, hold it right there. 1096 01:29:20,048 --> 01:29:23,279 Tell me you didn't quote Freddie Prinze Jr. 1097 01:29:25,220 --> 01:29:28,986 I knew it. That was a line from She's All That. 1098 01:29:29,224 --> 01:29:31,784 I masturbate to that movie. 1099 01:29:35,096 --> 01:29:36,085 Do you mind? 1100 01:29:36,331 --> 01:29:39,323 No, not at all. Masturbation's very healthy. 1101 01:29:39,534 --> 01:29:41,126 No, stay out of it. 1102 01:29:41,336 --> 01:29:43,463 Oh, I'm sorry. I just had to say something. 1103 01:29:43,672 --> 01:29:45,641 I couldn't help myself. Go on. 1104 01:29:45,841 --> 01:29:47,331 Thank you. 1105 01:29:48,144 --> 01:29:53,275 Janey, you sald you couldn't believe in someone that didn't believe in you. 1106 01:29:53,516 --> 01:29:57,509 Well, I believed in you. I always believed in you. 1107 01:29:58,721 --> 01:29:59,881 Oh, Jake. 1108 01:30:00,723 --> 01:30:04,523 Oh, God. I can't believe you fell for that crap. 1109 01:30:04,727 --> 01:30:07,252 - That's Pretty in Pink. - Are you sure? 1110 01:30:07,964 --> 01:30:09,158 Trust me. 1111 01:30:09,365 --> 01:30:14,667 - Excuse me. What are you doing? - Let me give you some advice, Jake. 1112 01:30:14,870 --> 01:30:18,772 Lose the I'm-the-cute-and-sensitive- popular-boy routine. 1113 01:30:18,975 --> 01:30:20,033 It's pathetic. 1114 01:30:20,242 --> 01:30:23,507 And tell Janey what's true in your heart. 1115 01:30:23,713 --> 01:30:25,511 Stop belng such a little bitch. 1116 01:30:27,217 --> 01:30:28,445 But I was just trying to... 1117 01:30:28,652 --> 01:30:31,450 Don't even use that eyebrow move on me. It's not gonna work. 1118 01:30:31,655 --> 01:30:33,145 You do overuse that move. 1119 01:30:33,357 --> 01:30:34,756 And you. 1120 01:30:34,958 --> 01:30:38,689 Miss Other-Side-of-the-Tracks- Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses. 1121 01:30:39,096 --> 01:30:43,590 Wise up to Jake's bullshit. Stop belng such a dumb-ass. 1122 01:30:47,104 --> 01:30:48,503 She's right. 1123 01:30:49,206 --> 01:30:51,401 - Janey... - Yes, Jake? 1124 01:30:54,111 --> 01:30:57,603 Maybe you should get on that plane and go to Paris. 1125 01:30:59,049 --> 01:31:02,712 Well, if you stay, we really only have the summer. 1126 01:31:02,953 --> 01:31:07,220 Then I go to college. We'll spend the occasional weekend together. 1127 01:31:07,425 --> 01:31:09,154 Which is nice. 1128 01:31:09,360 --> 01:31:13,854 But chances are, one night I'll get wrecked and have sex with some girl. 1129 01:31:14,098 --> 01:31:15,998 You'll call me a slut. 1130 01:31:16,267 --> 01:31:19,498 I'll call you a cock-tease, and we'll break up. 1131 01:31:19,704 --> 01:31:23,470 So when you really think about it, what's the point? 1132 01:31:26,477 --> 01:31:32,814 Well, that wasn't exactly the kind of truth I was expecting. 1133 01:31:33,951 --> 01:31:38,183 But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big a dumb-ass do you think I am? 1134 01:31:38,923 --> 01:31:42,017 You obviously stole that from Karate Kid. 1135 01:31:42,226 --> 01:31:44,023 No, actually, I... 1136 01:31:44,662 --> 01:31:47,598 Jake, it's okay. 1137 01:31:47,800 --> 01:31:49,461 I love you too. 1138 01:31:49,668 --> 01:31:51,465 We all know where this is going. 1139 01:31:51,670 --> 01:31:54,230 Fucking teenagers. 1140 01:32:03,816 --> 01:32:05,010 This is it. 1141 01:32:05,250 --> 01:32:06,717 The right moment. 1142 01:32:22,034 --> 01:32:23,524 Son of a bitch! 1143 01:32:40,253 --> 01:32:43,689 Well, Mitch, I learned a very valuable lesson. 1144 01:32:43,890 --> 01:32:46,825 I realized that I don't really wanna get involved with a girl... 1145 01:32:47,026 --> 01:32:48,926 ...unless I'm really in love with her. 1146 01:32:50,463 --> 01:32:51,896 Yeah. 1147 01:32:53,199 --> 01:32:56,225 Nice try, Ox. We know you took it in the ass. 1148 01:32:58,004 --> 01:33:01,531 Believe it or not, I, too, learned a valuable lesson. 1149 01:33:01,741 --> 01:33:03,971 Bruce, your accent. What happened? 1150 01:33:04,177 --> 01:33:06,806 You see, I realized that the best way to get the girl... 1151 01:33:07,014 --> 01:33:08,606 ...is to just be yourself. 1152 01:33:08,816 --> 01:33:12,843 For most people that would be a very valuable lesson. 1153 01:33:13,053 --> 01:33:15,954 But in your case, I'd stick to being Chinese. 1154 01:33:16,157 --> 01:33:17,488 Japanese. 1155 01:33:17,691 --> 01:33:19,181 So what'd you learn last night? 1156 01:33:19,627 --> 01:33:22,790 Gentlemen, I learned the greatest lesson of all. 1157 01:33:22,997 --> 01:33:25,431 That unlike everyone else in these teen movies... 1158 01:33:25,633 --> 01:33:28,625 ...I don't wanna learn some dumb-ass valuable lesson. 1159 01:33:28,836 --> 01:33:30,269 I still wanna fuck! 1160 01:33:30,471 --> 01:33:32,598 - Hey. - All right. 1161 01:39:32,041 --> 01:39:33,565 Ready? 1162 01:39:33,776 --> 01:39:35,767 And action! 1163 01:39:35,978 --> 01:39:38,003 Come on, Austin. 1164 01:39:39,382 --> 01:39:40,781 Holy shit! 1165 01:39:40,983 --> 01:39:43,281 I'm a fucking god! 85196

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