All language subtitles for 2 Broke Girls s03e03 Kitty Kitty Spank Spank

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:04,960 -Max? -No. 2 00:00:05,131 --> 00:00:07,011 Don't come over here with that "I'm the boss, 3 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,184 you're the waitress" look, 'cause I could just as easily give you 4 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,183 the "I'm the murderer, you're the victim" look. 5 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:16,601 The muscular woman at table two is sending her bagel back. 6 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,266 She said she ordered a plain one. 7 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,855 I'm sorry, did you say she wanted a multi-grain? 8 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,571 -No, plain. -Whole grain? 9 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:23,771 No, plain. 10 00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:27,490 -Garlic? -No. The plain! The plain! 11 00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:35,409 It took me two years, but I finally got him to say it. 12 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,786 (THEME MUSIC) 13 00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:41,379 (CASH REGISTER RINGS) 14 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,756 (CAT MEOWING) 15 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,722 Are you telling me you don't hear that cat? 16 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:58,560 We have to let it in. It's clearly a stray, 17 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,225 or this marine I met last week at a blood drive. 18 00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:05,936 Last week there was a man outside our door screaming, 19 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:09,608 "I've been stabbed," and all you did was yell, "Shut up." 20 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:16,833 Because he said, "I think I've been stabbed." 21 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:20,747 You're either stabbed, or you're not stabbed, my friend. 22 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,206 (CAT CONTINUES) 23 00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:25,714 Listen, it sounds like the cat's saying hello. 24 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,837 (MEOWING) 25 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,680 Hello, hello. 26 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,303 (MEOWING CONTINUES) 27 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,392 Listen, it's talking. 28 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,845 It's saying, "Help. Can I come in?" 29 00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:42,136 Really? 'Cause I think it's saying, 30 00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:45,021 "I'm fine. Go back to sleep." 31 00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:46,606 (MEOWING) 32 00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:48,976 Come on, it clearly just said, 33 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:52,661 "Let me in. Ignore the blonde. She's a bitch." 34 00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:55,071 Look, you can't just let in everything 35 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,870 that shows up at our door and says hello. 36 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,793 Yeah, I can. I've done it. 37 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:02,463 Max, we can't. We can't become cat ladies. 38 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,833 And it always starts out innocently, rescuing a stray, 39 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:07,341 but then you have to get another one 40 00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:09,303 so that they can entertain each other while you're at work. 41 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:12,012 And then somewhere along the line, four more sneak in, and you think, 42 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:15,094 "We're good. We're cool. We're the cute girls with six cats." 43 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:18,220 And then, one day, there you are on Animal Cops, 44 00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:21,559 screaming, "Don't take my babies! 45 00:02:21,724 --> 00:02:25,404 These 27 angels is all I got!" 46 00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:31,567 That's how it goes, Max. Once you get one, you get 27. 47 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,319 -Not true. -Really? 48 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,737 How many garden gnomes do you have under your bed? 49 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,776 Twenty-seven. 50 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,251 What? They understand I'm only keeping them there 51 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,163 until I get a yard. 52 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,208 Come on. I want a kitty. 53 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,086 Kitty for Max! Kitty for Max! 54 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:52,802 Max, we already have a horse. We can't afford another animal. 55 00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,715 -We're broke. -Come on. 56 00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:56,384 Chestnut needs a friend. 57 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,551 He is dying to trash us to someone, 58 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:01,681 and all he's got is that rat, who is super self-involved. 59 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:02,966 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 60 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:05,269 Who the hell is that? It's so late. 61 00:03:05,436 --> 00:03:07,846 It's probably the cat, or the guy who's raping girls in Brooklyn. 62 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,611 Open the door, and roll the dice. 63 00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:14,494 Oh, please. 64 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:21,950 (POLISH ACCENT) Please, somebody tell me they killed that damn cat. 65 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:26,123 And where did it learn how to say hello? 66 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,036 Told you. 67 00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:30,537 It's been keeping me up all night. 68 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,131 This poor cat has been crying at our door 69 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,006 every night trying to get in, trying to get a little warm milk, 70 00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:37,965 maybe a skosh of tuna. 71 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,894 Max, that's our dinner tomorrow. 72 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:43,305 Wait. Be careful. 73 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,983 A cat is not always a cat. 74 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,773 Oh, please continue. 75 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:52,147 In Poland, we believe if you die outside, 76 00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:54,776 you're reincarnated as a cat. 77 00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:59,815 Am I the only one who thinks Poland sounds like a real freak show? 78 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:01,821 So never let a cat in, 79 00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:04,831 because it's just a person that's been reincarnated 80 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:08,325 and will bring in all the bad jus. 81 00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,376 I think you mean juju. 82 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,094 Oh, do I? 83 00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:16,844 Nighty-night. 84 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,843 (CAT CONTINUES) 85 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,759 Look, we just have to put up with it, 86 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,807 and after a while, it'll go away on its own. 87 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,511 Go away on its own? 88 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,732 It's a stray cat, not my father. 89 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,691 Good night, Max. 90 00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:31,901 Fine. No kitty for Max. No kitty for Max. 91 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:37,779 See, Max, I told you the cat would stop. 92 00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:40,571 Max? 93 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,529 Max! 94 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,701 Can we keep it, Ma? Can we keep it? 95 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,287 Earl, you don't want a cat, do you? 96 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,589 A cat? God, no. Cats steal your weed. 97 00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,588 See, Caroline? Nobody wants the cat. 98 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:04,049 We're keeping it, and I think we should start celebrating right meow. 99 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,016 Max, you didn't even try to convince him. 100 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,272 Come on, Earl. Don't you want a cat? 101 00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,685 Kitty for Earl. Kitty for Earl. 102 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,483 I'm too old to have a cat. 103 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:17,146 I'm about six months away from crapping in a box myself. 104 00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,238 Oleg, how do you feel about cats? 105 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:25,826 Loved it. Saw it nine times on Broadway. 106 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:29,576 Very clever show, but a little expensive. 107 00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:33,207 The most I've ever paid to see a pussy dance. 108 00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:39,916 So far, we're keeping the cat. 109 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,182 Hey, Han, do you want a cat? 110 00:05:42,341 --> 00:05:44,471 You could finally have a friend your own size. 111 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,310 Come on, you could ride it to work. 112 00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:49,353 No, I can't have a cat. 113 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,186 They're lazy, moody, and judgmental. 114 00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,230 I don't need another you. 115 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:58,651 -Plus, they don't show affection. -Sure they do. 116 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,777 You just have to know how to get it out of them. 117 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:03,284 Cats love to be lightly spanked on their bottom. 118 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,117 I don't understand why a cat would like that. 119 00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:07,533 It's so mysterious. 120 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,450 Kitty. Kitty. Kitty-kitty-kitty. 121 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,290 Kitty. Kitty. Kitty-kitty-kitty. 122 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,879 Hmm... 123 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,839 Well, I can't have a cat. I work all the time. 124 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,803 Why did I like that so much? 125 00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:26,302 I don't know, something with boobs was touching you? 126 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:30,310 -People with boobs touch me. -She means aside from your mom. 127 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,813 Then, no. 128 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,810 Well, we've asked everyone we know, 129 00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:39,688 and now I'm depressed, because this is everyone we know. 130 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,318 Let's start asking people in the diner. 131 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:42,775 We need to find it a place to live. 132 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,704 Why? Why can't it live right here in my arm 133 00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:48,073 in between my hot naturals? 134 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,497 Kitty. Kitty. Kitty-kitty-kitty. 135 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,791 I have to admit, that does feel kind of good. 136 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:59,336 Excuse me. I overheard you two asking people if they want a cat. 137 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,342 And I'd really love one. 138 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,165 Really? Well, we have your cat. 139 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:07,181 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast. I got a couple of questions first. 140 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:09,013 -Do you smoke? -Yes. 141 00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:10,218 -Drink? -Yes. 142 00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,519 -Prescription drugs? -Occasionally. 143 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,726 Forget the cat. Will you take me home? 144 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,479 Kitty, you're gonna love this lady. 145 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,989 She smokes, drinks, does prescription drugs, 146 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:25,783 which we all know means oxy. 147 00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:27,737 Hi. 148 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:30,276 Oh, my God. There she is. 149 00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:32,289 She's purr-fect. 150 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,290 Come in. Welcome home, you. 151 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,076 See, Max? It's great. 152 00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:39,327 (LOUD MEOWING) 153 00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,304 What the hell is going on in here? 154 00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:45,131 Look at all these cats crammed in this little space. 155 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,628 It's so sad. 156 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,720 The only thing missing is 157 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:49,509 Sarah McLachlan singing in the corner. 158 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,603 What? It's fine. There's not that many. 159 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,184 They're attacking! 160 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,685 Sorry. He loves blondes. 161 00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,023 And apparently pooping on the carpet. 162 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,729 No, Twinkles, no. 163 00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,358 Okay, quick introductions. 164 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:07,986 That's Bethany, Radford, Sellers, Franklin, Eleanor, 165 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:11,704 Pudding, Mustachio, Mitzi, Meredith, Baxter, Birney. 166 00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:14,077 She remembers all of their names? 167 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:17,084 I don't even remember the name of the guy I lost my virginity to. 168 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,117 Best I can do is "Coach" something. 169 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,130 Well, Catherine, I think it's lovely 170 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:24,253 that you have such a big, loving, hairy family. 171 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,710 Kind of like the Kardashians. 172 00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,343 There's only 24. 173 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,891 Thirty-one. 174 00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:38,177 Let's go before one of these rabid cats bites us 175 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,271 and we become half-human, half-cat hybrids 176 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,857 who wander the streets but are never cold. 177 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,983 We're just gonna go have a little conversation in the hall. 178 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:49,400 And FYI, the mother looks like she's eating the little one. 179 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:52,491 Just a thought. I'm only saying that 'cause it's in her mouth. 180 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,990 Mitzi, release! 181 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:56,826 Let's go! 182 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,205 In less than five minutes, it went from 24 to 31, 183 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,673 and I saw two cats in the corner doing it doggie style, 184 00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:04,342 so in two months, we could be looking at 50 cats. 185 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:07,213 Max, you can't get pregnant doggie style. 186 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,665 Right? 187 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:16,506 We can't go back in. There's so much hair in there, 188 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:19,142 I saw a cat using a lint roller. 189 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,904 Okay, but if we don't leave her here, we only have one other option. 190 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:25,362 No, Kitty is not going to a shelter. 191 00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:29,114 Why? Lots of cats get adopted and end up in beautiful homes. 192 00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:33,948 Look, I didn't want to say this, but she's not pretty enough. 193 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:38,540 -What are you talking about? -She's not pretty enough. 194 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,870 Come on, she doesn't have classic good looks, 195 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,580 but she's adorkable. 196 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,800 We cannot take her to a shelter. She'll die there. 197 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,592 And, yeah, everyone says they want one with a nice personality, 198 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,046 but they really just want a hot, sexy, young kitten 199 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:55,137 who still gets excited about balls in her face. 200 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,314 Everything okay, ladies? 201 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,975 No, everything is far from okay. 202 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,774 My boots are now UGGs, thanks to all the cat hair in there. 203 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,570 Ow! Stop it! Sorry, that's Gina. 204 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,985 She's bipolar, and she refuses to take her meds. 205 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,113 Stop it, Gina! 206 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,330 I'm sorry, Catherine. This isn't gonna work out. 207 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,700 It's nothing personal. It's just that you're crazy. 208 00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:21,581 Truly, I'm heartbroken. Ow. Ow! 209 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:25,376 I already have a name picked out for her. Veronica Two. 210 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:26,632 Ow! Stop it! 211 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,381 (SCREAMS IN PAIN) 212 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:31,804 I got to go! Who wants treats? 213 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:37,389 Um, just so we all know, Veronica One committed suicide, right? 214 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,934 Kitty, we're gonna find you a nice home. 215 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,770 Psst! Want a cat? 216 00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:52,069 Free cat? 217 00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,355 Want a cat? 218 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,873 You are going to love it here. 219 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:02,043 Park Slope is like the Beverly Hills of Brooklyn. 220 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,041 Here comes a good one. 221 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,326 Hey. Want a cat. 222 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,460 -Excuse me? -Cat? 223 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,884 Yeah, I'll take some crack. 224 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,338 She said "cat." 225 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,549 We're looking for a nice home for a cat. 226 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,849 -Oh, so no crack? -No. 227 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:23,023 Well, why would I want a cat? I'm a crackhead. 228 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,812 Well, Kitty, as hard as this is, 229 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:31,400 I think it's time to let you back out there into the world. 230 00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,236 At least if we leave you in a rich neighborhood 231 00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,902 you'll have a better shot at life. 232 00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,740 Max, you are okay with this? 233 00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:39,914 Well, I was more okay when I did this with my cousin's baby. 234 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,747 There you go. 235 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,254 Oh, yeah. Move him to the next house. 236 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:54,259 South-facing sun. Pre-war building. She'll love it. 237 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:55,843 There you go. 238 00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:59,014 You live in Park Slope now. 239 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:03,717 You can adopt an African baby and wheel it around in a $900 stroller. 240 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,849 Can you believe that was my plan B? 241 00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:09,186 Run! Run away. 242 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,774 Go. 243 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,725 Oh, screw it. She lives here now. 244 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:20,238 Ooh, look, they have a piano! 245 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:24,407 You can make videos. You'll be a YouTube star. 246 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:27,963 Bye, Kitty. 247 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:32,207 Wow, I'm shocked you didn't stop me. 248 00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:34,706 Stop you? If I had known that was an option, 249 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,419 I would have had you stuff me in there. 250 00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:43,599 I wonder what Kitty's doing in her fancy townhouse right now. 251 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:47,183 She's probably snuggling with an older gay guy who likes to read. 252 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,980 You know, 'cause gay guys are the only ones who still read. 253 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:53,444 They're probably on the couch right now with A Tale of Two Kitties. 254 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:58,199 I'm proud of us. We selflessly gave that cat a better life 255 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,820 than we could ever afford for ourselves. 256 00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:02,738 Don't try to get in on that. I did the right thing. 257 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:06,288 You tried to leave her at that crazy lady's pussy riot. 258 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,657 Hi. Excuse me. 259 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,830 Would it be okay if I put this flier next to your window? 260 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,829 -No. -Sure. 261 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,960 We lost our cat, Jinxy, like, a week ago in this neighborhood. 262 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,839 Have you seen her? 263 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,415 No. No. 264 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,801 I haven't seen a cat in a long time. I was just saying to her yesterday, 265 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,757 "I haven't seen a cat in a long time." 266 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,098 Um... 267 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,386 How come you didn't have a collar on her? 268 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:29,887 And where's her ID tag? 269 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,019 Even my mother had an ID tag on me. 270 00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:34,017 Well, it was a flea collar, but... 271 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:37,360 Why did it take you so long to put the signs up? 272 00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:40,454 Um, what's happening? 273 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:41,901 Um, here's what's happening. 274 00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,532 We are more than happy to put up this flier of your cat, 275 00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,078 which we have never, ever seen. 276 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,503 I mean, seriously, where did all the cats go? 277 00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:50,252 Queens? Staten Island? 278 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,503 'Cause they're not in this neighborhood. 279 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,535 Okay. This was weird. 280 00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,376 Is there any way this cat isn't Kitty? 281 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:03,588 Nope, that's her. Same green eyes, same notch in the ear. 282 00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:06,049 Hello. Hello. 283 00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:08,811 Oh, God. Oh, God. 284 00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:11,024 Hey, girls. What's shaking? 285 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,063 Not me, 'cause I'm all held in. 286 00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:17,652 Sorry, Sophie, the cupcake window isn't open during the day. 287 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:21,186 I don't need your life story. I just need a damn cupcake. 288 00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:25,196 Sophie, do you remember that cat that was crying outside our building? 289 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,985 -Yeah, you put it down? -We thought it was a stray, 290 00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,409 so we tried to find a home for it, but couldn't. 291 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:34,750 -So you put it down. -No. 292 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,785 We left it in a really nice neighborhood. 293 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,840 So a rich person put it down? 294 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,014 It turns out it wasn't a stray at all. 295 00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:45,633 -We just met its owner. -This is the cat, Sophie. 296 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,102 Her name's Jinxy. 297 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:50,761 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 298 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:55,015 You remember how I told you that if you die outside in Poland, 299 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,856 you come back as a cat? 300 00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,862 Yeah, that's kind of hard to forget. 301 00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:02,944 That's not Jinxy. That's my friend, Nancy. 302 00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:06,779 Look at her. 303 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:09,617 Same green eyes, same notch in the ear. 304 00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:11,793 Same whiskers. 305 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:14,462 -I don't think that this is Nancy. -Oh, yes. 306 00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:16,673 She and I got in a big fight 307 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:19,172 and how she's come back to haunt me. 308 00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:22,206 She died waiting for an apology from me, 309 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,129 and now she's back. 310 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,128 Guess what? 311 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:28,761 She's not gonna get it. 312 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,268 Jinxy! Jinxy! 313 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,267 Jinxy, come on, girl. 314 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,990 Look, I said on the phone, this area is where we randomly spotted her. 315 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,493 I wonder how Jinxy got all the way to Park Slope. 316 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,195 Just wait. She's here, I promise. 317 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:52,405 Jinxy! Jinxy! 318 00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:54,326 Nancy. 319 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,286 -Nancy! -Nancy! 320 00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:58,996 -Nancy! -Nancy! 321 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,337 Come on, Nancy! 322 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:06,053 (IMITATING SOPHIE'S ACCENT) Nancy, it's Sophie! I'm here to apologize! 323 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,011 Um, what's happening? 324 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:14,096 Oh, my God, it's Nancy! I mean, Jinxy. 325 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:15,774 I mean, Kitty. 326 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,564 Hello. Hello. 327 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,940 Hi, baby. 328 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,357 Kitty, kitty. Kitty-kitty-kitty. 329 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:28,447 What she's doing, they like it. I know, because I liked it. 330 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:31,573 Anyway, we found your cat. Isn't that great? 331 00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:35,450 -Actually, she's my boyfriend's cat. -I'm keeping her. 332 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,370 Max, just close your eyes and look away, 333 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:39,078 like you do whenever those people ask you 334 00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:41,079 if you have a minute to save the Earth. 335 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:45,551 Just stick it in here. 336 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,303 "Just stick it in here"? 337 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,715 That's what I say when my hand gets tired. 338 00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:05,147 Maxy. Maxy. 339 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,323 Maxy, Maxy, Maxy. 340 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,044 Now, do me. 341 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:29,006 First of all, I own the diner now. 342 00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,509 Secondly, don't ever do that again. 343 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,516 I guess I'll just have to spank myself. 344 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,813 No surprise there. 345 00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:45,439 I hope you're happy. 346 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,186 I found Jinxy's owners on Facebook. 347 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:48,647 Not one pic of Kitty, 348 00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,817 not even a status update saying, "We found our cat." 349 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:52,317 But she is more than willing 350 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,869 to talk about her reverse French manicure 351 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,531 and posts pictures of a meal 352 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,370 I know she's gonna make herself throw up later. 353 00:17:57,911 --> 00:18:00,621 Come on, Max. There's got to be one photo of Kitty. 354 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,658 (GASPS) Oh, wow! 355 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,209 -You found one? -No, that manicure is heaven. 356 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:09,051 Max, photos or not, we need to focus on the fact 357 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,053 that the cat is back with the guy who loves her. 358 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,425 The guy who loves her? He doesn't love Kitty. 359 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:16,553 If he did, why aren't there any pictures of her at his first wedding? 360 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:19,351 What, he couldn't spring for a cat tuxedo? 361 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:21,516 They're, like, 20 bucks. 362 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,733 I know because I have one on my garden gnome. 363 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:27,321 This is not a loving home. Pics, or it didn't happen. 364 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,191 Okay, Max. Okay, just say it. 365 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,648 I put the cat in an abusive home. 366 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,398 You put the cat in an abusive home. 367 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,739 I have a gift for you. 368 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:41,789 (KITTY MEOWS "HELLO") 369 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:44,003 No way! No way! 370 00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:46,254 Oh, yeah, it's Jinxy. 371 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,456 It's Nancy. Jinxy was her slave name. 372 00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,422 Oh, Nancy, I missed you. 373 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,550 I missed you so much. 374 00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,718 What did you do? How did you get her? 375 00:18:57,886 --> 00:18:59,636 Well, it was really complicated. 376 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,466 I went to their apartment, and I said, "You don't love that cat," 377 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,482 and they said, "You're right. Take it." 378 00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:10,073 Oh, my God! Is this what happiness feels like? 379 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,441 So what made you change your mind? 380 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:16,201 Because two years ago I was outside your door, 381 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,534 saying, (MIMICS MEOWING) "Hello. Hello." 382 00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,331 And you let me in, and it changed my life. 383 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,116 That's kind of different, though, because I didn't want to let you in, 384 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,540 and I did want to let the cat in. 385 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,166 But you did let me in. 386 00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:34,046 You let me in, and you gave me food and shelter and love. 387 00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:36,174 Not the way I wanted to give to the cat. 388 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:40,049 Max, are you trying to equate a person's love with a cat's love? 389 00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,471 Not really. A cat's love is eternal. 390 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,598 Hey, girls. 391 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,057 I'm heading over to the bodega salad bar. 392 00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:49,108 They just added hot ribs and a sneeze guard. 393 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,231 You need anything? 394 00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:53,318 Sophie, we got the cat back. 395 00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,743 She was in a house where she wasn't wanted. 396 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:59,873 Oh, yeah. That is so Nancy. 397 00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,202 Sophie, do you want to see the cat? 398 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,246 She's in the apartment? 399 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:12,339 No, no, no. 400 00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:15,132 No, no. I can't see her right now! 401 00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:17,258 It's too much! 402 00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:19,554 I'm happy for you, Nancy! 403 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,679 But I can't do this right now! 404 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,602 (SCREAMING) 405 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,361 Wait, where did the cat go? 406 00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:34,691 Oh, no, Chestnut. I left the back door open. 407 00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:42,615 Oh, my God, look! She's on top of Chestnut. 408 00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:45,494 -They like each other. -Why wouldn't they? 409 00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:48,212 She's a foxy redhead, and he's a stud. 410 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,544 You did the right thing. 411 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,838 Kitty, kitty. Kitty-kitty-kitty. 412 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:55,211 Why do I like that so much? 413 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,670 'Cause something with boobs is touching you? 414 00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:01,893 (CASH REGISTER DINGS) 415 00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,410 (English US - SDH) 416 00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:32,010 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31392

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