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1
00:00:00,918 --> 00:00:04,458
Well, you, me and the cupcakes are ready.
Now we just need people.
2
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:08,553
Ooh, here we go.
This one looks like she might come in.
3
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:12,683
Yeah, keep walking, ugly.
4
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,596
Ugly? She's like a supermodel.
5
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,425
Did she come in and buy something?
6
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,890
-No.
-Then she ugly.
7
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:22,770
Okay, yes, business is slow,
but we don't have to drop to that level.
8
00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:25,824
Ooh, this guy is definitely coming in.
9
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,862
Keep walking, fatty!
10
00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:31,568
And he ugly.
11
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:34,743
BOTH:
Welcome to Max's Homemade Cupcakes!
12
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:36,489
Hello.
13
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,251
How much are your cupcakes?
14
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:39,464
Four dollars.
15
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,584
No.
16
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:44,585
BOTH:
Whore.
17
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,545
Jinx, you owe me a Coke!
18
00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:50,176
-We both called an old lady a whore.
-I know. We are in complete sync.
19
00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:53,091
That is so good for business.
20
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,144
I'll give you $3.
21
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,062
I'm sorry. They're 4.
22
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,805
There's no one in here.
You'll take what you get.
23
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:05,148
I'm in love with that whore.
24
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,325
Hello, I'm calling from
Max's Homemade Cupcakes...
25
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:23,458
...to acquaint you
with our new Morning with Max's special.
26
00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:26,956
No, sir, that is not what our special is.
27
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:31,049
And I haven't even done that with
my boyfriend yet, so don't be rude.
28
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,301
Give me that phone.
29
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:36,220
You fat, you ugly, you fugly.
30
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,177
We have got to get more business going.
31
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,850
The money Sophie gave us to open
will only cover next month's rent.
32
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,901
We already have next month's rent?
33
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:49,654
Why are we worried? We're doing better
than everyone else in America.
34
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:53,614
Well, well, well, if it isn't Prince Charming.
35
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:57,031
But Earl, is Prince charming?
Or is he just a diva in purple?
36
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:02,080
So psyched. Finally got a personalized
hello from Earl.
37
00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:05,668
He called me Prince Charming.
I'm in, baby, I am in.
38
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:09,304
I wouldn't get too excited.
He probably just forgot your name.
39
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:13,052
He calls every Puerto Rican guy
that comes in here "La Bamba."
40
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,640
(PHONE PLAYING RINGTONE)
41
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,104
Max's Homemade Cupcakes.
42
00:02:18,264 --> 00:02:19,764
-Yes, I'll hold.
-Heh.
43
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,517
Of course we do sugar-free and gluten-free.
44
00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:27,437
I'll be right back, I just gotta take this call.
Mm-hm.
45
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:30,725
Mm-hm, I understand.
But, like, how diabetic?
46
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:33,571
I feel a little sick to my stomach.
47
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:36,316
Why? You haven't even eaten here yet.
48
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,780
No, I'm nervous. I came here
to tell Caroline something kind of big.
49
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:43,291
-You have a secret family on Long Island?
-No.
50
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,334
You have hep C? D? One of the new heps?
51
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,918
Nope.
52
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,424
Don't have any of the heps.
53
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:51,706
Wow. Now telling her I'm in love with her
is gonna sound boring.
54
00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:55,631
You're gonna tell her you love her?
Here in the diner?
55
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,970
Why, was the dump closed?
56
00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:02,468
Hey, we need more coffee, La Bamba.
57
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,231
This isn't where you tell someone
"I love you."
58
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:08,984
This is where you tell someone
their sex change looks passable.
59
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,114
What's the big deal? If I feel it,
why shouldn't I say it?
60
00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:13,526
She'd be all over that.
61
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,993
If it didn't happen to Kate Hudson
in some stupid romantic comedy...
62
00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:18,986
...then it won't work for Caroline.
63
00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:23,658
Sorry, what? I left and went into another
theater in my mind while you were talking.
64
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:26,999
I know, it's so creepy, but she likes it.
65
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:31,165
If you could arrange for it to rain,
or run after her to the airport in the rain...
66
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:35,626
...but end up on the Empire State Building
on Valentine's Day, that'd be best.
67
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:38,010
Well, I just sold three dozen cupcakes.
68
00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:41,346
We just have to mark "no sugar"
on one of the boxes.
69
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,733
What did you wanna say to me?
70
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:50,153
Oh, nothing, I just came by to say hi.
I gotta go download a couple movies.
71
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,029
Hey, Oleg, where's my food?
72
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:57,864
Cheeseburger with fries, pick up.
73
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:03,664
Han, you look so tall in the window.
Are you standing on another tiny person?
74
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:08,367
No.
75
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:11,878
On the box.
76
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,011
Oleg had to leave.
77
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:20,593
Sophie came back from her trip to Poland
and he's worried because she's depressed.
78
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,061
Why, did she see you in that hair net?
79
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:26,851
Come on, listen. When Sophie went to see
her new house, there was no house.
80
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,556
Her Polish contractor ripped off her money.
81
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:35,231
Poor Sophie, I feel terrible.
I know what it feels like to be ripped off.
82
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:40,781
I once bought a Fendi purse,
but when I looked inside it said "Rendi."
83
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:45,239
What kind of God would let that happen?
84
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,080
Max, I went to a party with that.
85
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:53,167
We should stop by after work, see how
she is, and bring her some cupcakes.
86
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:56,384
Or you could give her
that $20,000 she loaned you.
87
00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:59,127
"Loaned us?" Sophie gave us
that money as a gift.
88
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:02,088
Not what I hear. Pick up.
89
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,221
We're out of spaghetti.
There's no sauce.
90
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,007
No, Han, there's plenty of sauce.
91
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,893
(WHISPERS)
I know, but I can't reach the shelf.
92
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,860
Hey, are we sure that money
Sophie gave us was a gift?
93
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:19,356
Yes. She gave it to us to support our dream.
94
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:23,618
When I had money, I gave it out freely,
and never expected anything in return.
95
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:26,491
Like when I gave my maid
that gorgeous Rendi.
96
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:29,576
I don't know about people
not expecting stuff back.
97
00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:33,877
One time, a guy bought me a Slushie
and for the next three weeks, he owned me.
98
00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:40,383
No, he really owned me. Eight days in,
I almost got traded to a trucker.
99
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:44,432
I wouldn't even mention her gift.
It will only insult her.
100
00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:47,965
And I promise, nobody is expecting us
to give the money back.
101
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:52,266
Come in, girls.
Did you bring the check?
102
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:56,185
No, because it was a gift. A big-ass gift.
103
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:59,355
But we brought our love
and we brought cupcakes.
104
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,566
Well, I doubt she'll eat them.
105
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:05,068
She hasn't even touched her kapusniak ...
106
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:08,121
...which is the dish traditionally served
to Polish women...
107
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,535
...who have been wronged
by their contractors.
108
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,327
Such a specific culture.
109
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:18,340
But that's not the worst thing.
She is so depressed, no sex.
110
00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:23,344
Which is big problem for me because
I find depressed women very hot.
111
00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:29,847
A lot of guys do. Why do you think
I haven't paid for a drink in six years?
112
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:35,734
I'll go in and tell her you're here.
She's just lying there on the bed, lifeless.
113
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:38,476
Hot. The big tease.
114
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:48,702
Sophie, the two girls who you loaned
the money to are here to see you.
115
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:53,831
It was a gift. A generous, generous gift,
but still a gift.
116
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:57,537
Are we sure about that? Because I was
Slushie Boy's bitch for three weeks.
117
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,129
And I did things.
118
00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:02,959
Look, Max brought you cupcakes.
Your favorite.
119
00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:05,382
Vanilla with bacon fat drizzle.
120
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:09,679
Oh. No. I can't eat
when I have been betrayed.
121
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,846
What kind again?
122
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:16,063
Sophie, I am patient man,
but I am also horny man.
123
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,688
Any idea when you will snap out of this?
124
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:19,895
Oh.
125
00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:24,284
Why don't you just unzip and climb on top
of me now, and get it over with?
126
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,114
-Oh, no.
-We should be going.
127
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,819
No, girls, stay.
128
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:31,700
If she's not even going to put up a fight,
what's the fun?
129
00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:36,501
Are you sure? Bacon drizzle.
Little bit of heaven.
130
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,535
No, I don't want them.
131
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,629
Okay. I'll just put the cupcakes here
in case you change your mind.
132
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:45,045
-Is this a gun?
-Oh!
133
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:48,885
Yes. I'm not going to stab myself to death.
134
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,852
Do you know how much this outfit costs?
135
00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:56,774
Sophie, you're gonna get through this.
And, by the way, you look amazing in black.
136
00:07:57,226 --> 00:08:02,266
Oh, well, no more bright colors for me now,
I'm in mourning.
137
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:08,400
See? Black bra. Black garters.
And look, black panties.
138
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:12,406
Um, you're not wearing any panties.
139
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:16,253
I'm not? Oh....
140
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:19,833
I'm sorry about that wild mess
down there.
141
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,919
Look, Sophie, I feel bad you got ripped off.
142
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:27,716
Here are all my tips from tonight.
Twenty-seven dollars.
143
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:29,965
For eight hours?
144
00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:35,644
Oh, now I'm depressed for you.
You wanna borrow my gun?
145
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,180
Know what? You just need to
eat something.
146
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,021
And pretty soon, you'll be back
to your old self.
147
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,067
A woman who gives gifts and expects
nothing in return.
148
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,822
Because that's what a gift is.
149
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:51,111
Sophie, is that doing anything for you?
150
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,830
Yeah, well, I'm not hating it.
151
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,874
Here, this soup smells amazing.
152
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,707
Oh, no, I don't have the energy to eat.
153
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:03,213
Sophie, open your mouth and put this in.
154
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,166
Oh, come on, now you're as bad as Oleg.
155
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:11,180
-There. Better?
-That's cold.
156
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:15,474
Sophie, just say the word,
and I will rob a bank for you.
157
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,306
I understand you're hurting...
158
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:20,314
...but we've already spent
most of the money on the shop...
159
00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:22,189
...and business just isn't good.
160
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:25,274
It's not the money.
Everybody thinks it's the money.
161
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:30,151
It's more than that. My lake house
was my dream and I lost my dream.
162
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:35,160
Oh. Thank God! Well, I'm glad that's
cleared up. Not about the money.
163
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:38,035
Max, come on, she's had a shock,
we should let her sleep.
164
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:41,372
You girls are so lucky,
you still have your dream.
165
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:43,999
Sophie, what if you were part
of our dream?
166
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,497
I'm sorry? Whose dream?
167
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:46,788
Our dream.
168
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:50,169
Your dream? Where's that cupcake?
169
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,181
MAX:
Sophie's the only reason we have a shop.
170
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:54,552
We should make her partner.
171
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,925
Mm, partner.
172
00:09:57,639 --> 00:10:00,979
You and I are already partners.
I feel like we're partnered out.
173
00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,733
What about a silent partner?
174
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:06,234
Mm, silent partner. I like that.
175
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,613
Mm. I'm getting my appetite back.
176
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:12,605
And also, my sex drive.
177
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:16,657
Go or stay, girls. Either way, I'm going in.
178
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,790
I'm sorry I said Sophie
could be part of the store.
179
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:30,376
I just felt bad for her, lying there, in black,
too sad to even make her junk pretty.
180
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:34,218
It's fine. Silent partner is just
a figure-head role anyway.
181
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,724
And it's nice to know
you have such a big heart.
182
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:40,636
It's not my heart. What I saw down there
changed me.
183
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:45,902
It looks like something an animal built
to live in for the winter.
184
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,905
Wait. What is Sophie's chandelier
doing here?
185
00:10:56,072 --> 00:11:01,372
Is this the Polish version of home invasion,
they break in and leave something tacky?
186
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:04,080
Good morning, partners.
187
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:08,246
I didn't know the dress code,
so I went business casual.
188
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:13,505
Look, the chandelier that I bought
for my lake house.
189
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,973
Oh, now our dreams are together.
190
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:19,224
Sophie, it's not the look we were going for.
191
00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:20,388
Oh, I know.
192
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,934
Much better, right?
193
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:29,688
That is definitely not our style. It looks like
a Tim Burton movie just spit up in here.
194
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,980
I think it's kind of pretty.
195
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:36,569
But what do I know? I once spent
my last 50 bucks on a frog piƱata.
196
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,278
Had to have it.
197
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:39,777
(PHONE PLAYING RINGTONE)
198
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,123
Max's Homemade Cupcakes.
199
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,834
Yes, we're an upscale bakery, and--
200
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:47,245
Now we sell hoagies.
201
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,170
Oh, no, sir, we do not sell hoagies.
202
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,915
Yes, we do.
203
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,764
How many would you like?
Let me get a pen.
204
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:57,173
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
205
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:04,138
What's happening?
Are we finally gonna trash Caroline?
206
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,680
No. I need your help.
207
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:10,060
I watched four chick flicks, then made
a list of ways to tell Caroline I love her.
208
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,230
I was gonna make more,
but I got my period.
209
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:19,408
Okay, run the choices past me.
210
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:23,162
Whichever one makes me wanna hurl
the most, that's your winner.
211
00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:26,406
I can play a song for her outside
her apartment. Keep in mind...
212
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,750
...how hard it is to find a boom box in 2012.
213
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:32,634
Plus, if you do that outside our apartment,
you'll be shot.
214
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,593
By me.
215
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:39,552
Okay, what about sharing cocoa and
a hot dog on the ice rink in Central Park.
216
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:43,434
That's it. Makes we wanna
take my head off and throw it into the street.
217
00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:46,891
Cool. Oh, and Max, I think I'm the only
straight guy...
218
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:50,557
...who knows the difference between
Dylan McDermott and Dermott Mulroney.
219
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,519
And that, my friend, is love.
220
00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,107
Oh. What's that funky-ass smell?
221
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,697
Do they finally sell pepperoni Febreze?
222
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:05,775
Max, this already isn't working.
The stinky salami, the gaudy chandelier.
223
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:08,751
It's like a haunted Quiznos in here.
224
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,293
Hey.
225
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:14,626
I'm sending Oleg to Queens
to pick up a flat of Fresca.
226
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:18,379
There's nothing better with a hoagie
than an ice cold Fresca.
227
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,931
That's what I wanted.
228
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,799
And look...
229
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:26,219
...they'll go great with the pickled eggs.
230
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:31,637
This just went from my dream
to a nightmare.
231
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,311
Oh, my God, Caroline! It is you!
232
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,270
Stacy, no way! I haven't seen you
since graduation.
233
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,942
We went to Wharton together.
234
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,030
This girl is a genius.
235
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:42,906
Always top of the class.
236
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:47,282
So, what are you doing here? Buying
a cupcake on your way to running the world?
237
00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,201
No, I own this shop.
238
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:52,868
Oh. You own this little cupcake shop?
239
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:58,250
And many other bigger shops.
This is our new Williamsburg location.
240
00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:01,341
Yes, I know the chandelier is all wrong.
I told the designer.
241
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:05,048
None of our Pacific Northwest locations
will have the chandeliers.
242
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:08,720
Of course you'd own a cupcake empire
at 25.
243
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,677
Oh, and this is Max.
244
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:15,440
-Hi.
-I just transferred from our Boise location.
245
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:18,978
What's that horrible smell?
246
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:23,197
It's something called a hoagie.
The workers like them.
247
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,573
Right, Max?
248
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:28,119
Si, gracias por la hoagie.
249
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:32,714
Well, I have to go.
I'm consulting upstairs at BBD&L.
250
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,618
-Oh, upstairs.
-Yeah.
251
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,750
Always knew you'd land on your feet.
Let's go for drinks.
252
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,588
And you're paying, mogul.
253
00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:44,801
I hope she likes water.
254
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:48,184
Now what am I gonna do?
Stacy's in the building.
255
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:53,726
Well, you could move to Narnia and
run that branch, you pathological liar.
256
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:59,189
Max, this is not how I want people
to see me. Or smell me, quite frankly.
257
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:02,276
We have to get rid of the salami,
the chandelier, and Sophie.
258
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,953
This is our dream, not hers.
259
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:05,781
Okay, fine, I'll tell her.
260
00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:09,115
Hey, Sophie, can we talk to you?
261
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:14,003
Good news, girls. Now we sell scratchers.
262
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,291
But I have even a better idea.
263
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:22,958
You two should dress up as big cupcakes
and pass out free samples.
264
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,639
Sophie, Max has something
she wants to say to you.
265
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:34,482
Wait. Girls, I have something to say first.
266
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:35,845
(SIGHS)
267
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:40,819
Two days ago, I was on the verge of suicide.
268
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:44,441
Seriously, I hadn't eaten all afternoon.
269
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:48,070
But your generosity with your dream...
270
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:52,489
...has given me a reason to get up
and get a wax.
271
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:59,035
Oh.... Max, there's something
you wanted to say?
272
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:03,004
I was going to say....
273
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:10,299
You look delicious.
274
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,563
I look like Honey Boo Boo's mom
at the prom.
275
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:19,064
This is so humiliating.
276
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:23,439
Now I know how Tyra felt when she
went undercover as that fat person.
277
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,489
Please tell me this is our bottom.
278
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,742
It's your bottom. I went to happy hour once
and woke up naked...
279
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:32,204
...in the penguin habitat at the Bronx Zoo.
280
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,656
And I did things.
281
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:41,000
Hey, girls. What are you two doing
just standing there?
282
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:44,377
God gave cupcakes legs for a reason.
283
00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:50,876
You need to hit the streets, shake your
cake maker, and show people your goods.
284
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,052
Don't look at me. It's Vanilla.
285
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:56,681
I was looking forward to going up to
strangers on the street and saying:
286
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,770
"Eat me," but she won't leave.
287
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:03,056
Well, if you're not going to go out
and get the customers...
288
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,190
...then I'll bring the customers to you.
289
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:08,607
I gotta do everything around here.
290
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,195
I can't believe we're just
standing here...
291
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:16,945
...when we could be chasing fat people
down yelling, "you ate my brother!"
292
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:21,708
Look at you two. What I wouldn't give
for a giant glass of milk.
293
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,205
Look at you, though. You look so cute.
294
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,546
No, don't look at me. I'm totally
embarrassed in this thing.
295
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:34,303
Yes, she's cute and embarrassed in
a larger-than-life, colorful public setting.
296
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:38,602
Ah. Right. So, Caroline, listen, I wanted to--
297
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:42,057
Look, girls, some young professionals.
298
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,898
God, she's bringing Stacy.
She can't see me in this.
299
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,734
I was her valedictorian. Take this.
300
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,857
Ooh. Unh.
301
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,492
Wait. Help me up, Max! Help me up!
302
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:01,000
Oh, great, now you're like my mom.
303
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:03,922
Here, give me your left hand.
304
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,585
Give me your right hand.
305
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,763
Get up, get up! Five second rule!
306
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,925
(MAX GRUNTS)
307
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,232
(SIGHS)
308
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,058
What are you two crazy cakes doing?
309
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:26,519
You lost your customers, they ran away.
310
00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,319
Oh, thank God.
311
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:32,652
Oh, I don't get it. You won't push the hoagies
or the pickled eggs.
312
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,280
You must really have a fear of success.
313
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,124
Well, at least we missed Stacy.
314
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,616
Well, you know what else you missed?
Andy.
315
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,790
He was about to tell you he loves you.
316
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,038
What?
317
00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:50,459
Just now, in the hall. And the ice rink.
He's been trying to tell you all week.
318
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:56,220
But I've been too preoccupied with work,
like Sandra Bullock in The Proposal.
319
00:18:57,010 --> 00:19:00,890
So he was gonna tell me at
the ice rink? The one in Central Park?
320
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:04,597
Yes, while having cocoa
and splitting a hot dog.
321
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:08,610
Oh, my God, that's like my dream
"I love you" scenario.
322
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,111
Why didn't you tell me sooner?
323
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:16,817
When it comes to other people's creepy
love stuff, that's when I'm a silent partner.
324
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:19,660
And you need to stop with
this creepy romcom stuff.
325
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,326
Life isn't like a movie.
326
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,953
Sometimes you're not a success right away.
327
00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:26,712
Sometimes you have to just eat it
and be a cupcake...
328
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:30,915
...and sometimes you have to take your
"I love you" whichever way it comes.
329
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:32,797
You are so right.
330
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,473
I don't have to wait for
the moment to be perfect...
331
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,513
...like it was for Reese Witherspoon
in Sweet Home Alabama.
332
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,391
My life's not a romantic comedy.
333
00:19:41,556 --> 00:19:45,176
I can do it my own way, like
Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding.
334
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,943
Andy, it's me!
335
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,282
ANDY:
I'll be right out!
336
00:19:57,447 --> 00:20:01,077
No, this can't wait any longer. I don't need
a big romantic comedy moment.
337
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:05,374
-No--
-Ooh! Sorry, I thought it was the office.
338
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,208
Not the office.
339
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,535
I'm stuck.
340
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,959
Oh, I wanna go, but I can't.
341
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:14,667
And I'll never be able to go again.
342
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:19,798
I'm on the toilet and you're in a cupcake,
it can't get any creepier than this, so...
343
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:24,059
...Caroline, I love you.
344
00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:26,931
I love you too.
345
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,269
Now please push me out.
346
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,783
How'd it go? Was it romantic?
347
00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,704
He told me he loved me on the toilet.
348
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,485
Oh, man, that's my dream scenario.
349
00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:43,829
(CHUCKLES)
350
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:47,042
Hey. I'm only gonna do this for an hour...
351
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:50,924
...to show you how it's done,
and then I'm out.
352
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,344
This is your dream, not mine.
353
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,762
Cupcakes! Free cupcakes!
354
00:20:56,923 --> 00:21:01,093
Come on, get them while they're hot!
355
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,621
English - US - SDH
356
00:21:30,671 --> 00:21:35,221
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