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♪ Love ♪
2
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:17,949
♪ Exciting and new ♪
3
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:20,852
♪ Come aboard ♪
4
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:26,569
♪ We're expecting you ♪
5
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,994
♪ And love ♪
6
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:34,844
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
7
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,902
♪ Let it flow ♪
8
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:42,919
♪ It floats back to you ♪
9
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:46,322
♪ The Love Boat ♪
10
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:51,194
♪ Soon will be
making Another run ♪
11
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:54,463
♪ The Love Boat ♪
12
00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:59,135
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
13
00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:01,270
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
14
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:05,731
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
15
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,847
♪ And love ♪
16
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:14,139
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
17
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:19,022
♪ It's an open smile ♪
18
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:23,359
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
19
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:27,831
♪ It's love ♪
20
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:33,692
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
21
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:01,431
Thanks for bringing
me down, Bernie.
22
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,665
I really appreciate it.
23
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,334
Howie, what are friends for?
24
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,703
Just promise me one
thing. What's that?
25
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:09,639
You spent a lot of money
on a cruise, don't blow it.
26
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:10,807
Get some of the action.
27
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,942
Oh, Bernie, I'm not like you.
28
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,478
I... I can't come on to
girls the way you do.
29
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:17,614
Yeah, with women
I'm a verbal clod.
30
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,816
Hm, true. That's
why I bought you this.
31
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,951
"How to Hit on Girls"?
32
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,786
Believe me, it's
not about karate.
33
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,955
No, this isn't
gonna work, Bernie.
34
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,224
Oh, yeah? What
do you say to a girl
35
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,324
when you first meet her?
36
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,660
I say, uh, "My name's Howard.
37
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,161
What's yours?" Terrific.
38
00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:34,230
With a line like that, you
could become a monk.
39
00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:35,331
Listen.
40
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,566
"Excuse me, I don't
mean to be forward,
41
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,102
but, uh, are you a
professional model?"
42
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,537
No, Bernie.
43
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,938
Oh, go on. Laugh if you
wanna, but this stuff is dynamite.
44
00:02:42,962 --> 00:02:44,907
You're gonna score so
much, Burt Reynolds is gonna
45
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:46,042
be calling you for pointers.
46
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,744
Bernie, I... I don't
want to score.
47
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,768
I just want to meet a nice girl.
48
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:54,105
Okay. Does she look
like a nice girl to you?
49
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,255
Yeah.
50
00:02:58,279 --> 00:02:59,711
Watch.
51
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,747
You watching?
52
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,563
Uh, excuse me. Excuse me.
53
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:07,731
Uh, I don't mean to be forward,
54
00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:10,233
but, uh, are you a
professional model?
55
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:11,768
Why, yes. How did you know?
56
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,403
Oh, I just, uh... I...
I thought you were.
57
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:14,704
Would you like a lift somewhere?
58
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,173
Could I drop you someplace?
59
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:17,197
Sure.
60
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,888
Well, hello. Welcome aboard.
61
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,222
Hi.
62
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:35,091
We're Mr. and Mrs. Desmond.
63
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,526
Oh, newlyweds.
64
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,129
Oh, no. We've been
married five hours.
65
00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:41,030
Oh, well, then,
happy anniversary.
66
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,300
Thank you. Which way
to the Promenade Deck?
67
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,968
Through this door
and up the stairs.
68
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,803
Have a great honeymoon.
69
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,838
Oh, you can bet on it.
70
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,296
Oh... Ooh. Ah.
71
00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:55,778
Max, will you kindly
not make a scene here?
72
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,147
Gladys, this is ridiculous.
73
00:03:57,171 --> 00:04:00,550
We're stuck on a ship for
a week with 600 strangers.
74
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,051
We could have been in Rome.
75
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,453
We've been there three times.
76
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,421
I am bored with Rome.
77
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,756
Bored with Rome?
78
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,792
Fifteen years ago we
were happy to have a nail
79
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:09,826
to hang your bathing suit on
80
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,217
in the bathhouse
at Coney Island.
81
00:04:13,988 --> 00:04:15,665
I hope we're never like that.
82
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,209
No way. I don't even know
where Coney Island is.
83
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,338
Hi. Hello. Welcome aboard.
84
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:24,808
Hello, I'm Wendel
Snead. This is my wife, Ida.
85
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:25,842
Well, how do you do?
86
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,076
We're in C-120.
87
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,511
That's on the Coral Deck.
88
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,815
Coral Deck. Sounds so exotic.
89
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,950
You can take the
elevator in the lobby.
90
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:35,718
Thank you. JULIE: Mm-hm.
91
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:38,654
Oh, uh, when we get
to Cabo San Lucas,
92
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,623
do you think our grandchildren
could come onboard
93
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:41,624
and look around?
94
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:42,892
Oh, yes, of course.
95
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,627
I'd love to give them a tour.
96
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:45,795
Oh, Wendel.
97
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,118
I wonder what they look like.
98
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,266
You see, our daughter's
been living in Mexico
99
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,368
for the past ten years.
100
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,003
We've never seen
our grandchildren.
101
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,604
I can't wait to meet them.
102
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,340
I bet they can't wait
to meet you either.
103
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,542
Bye-bye.
104
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,232
Hello.
105
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,914
Wendel, this is so luxurious.
106
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,983
It must be costing a fortune.
107
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,485
Wouldn't it be cheaper to fly?
108
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,186
Now, Ida, you know
what the doctor said.
109
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,688
No flying for you.
110
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,456
But how can we afford it?
111
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,758
I knew there was
something I forgot to tell you.
112
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:18,094
I won the Irish Sweepstakes.
113
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,496
Isaac!
114
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,263
It's contribution time again.
115
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:24,100
I need your $10 for the
crew emergency fund.
116
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,002
Catch me later. - Isaac!
117
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,338
Listen, Gopher, I
can't skip out on you.
118
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,940
I'm not that good a swimmer.
119
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:33,009
And by the way, how much
money you got in the box?
120
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,510
Six hundred and
thirty-five dollars.
121
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,814
In that case, you
give me 10 bucks,
122
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:41,684
which you owe me, by the way,
from our last gin rummy game.
123
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,240
Catch me later.
124
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,021
Uh, excuse me.
125
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,323
Did I hear you say
you play gin rummy?
126
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,060
Oh, well, sir, some of us
play and some of us win.
127
00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,327
I love gin.
128
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,029
Maybe we'll get
together later on.
129
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,564
Well, that depends.
You a player or a winner?
130
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:57,500
Wendel, you're
terrible at cards.
131
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,235
What better place to practice?
132
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,070
My place or yours?
133
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:05,275
Now, rest assured, Herb, we'll
take good care of your daughter.
134
00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:07,277
I appreciate it, Merrill,
but Sheila's different.
135
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:08,444
Yeah, she... She's an innocent.
136
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,313
She's never
vacationed alone before.
137
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,214
Now, don't worry. I've
assigned Dr. Bricker here
138
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:13,483
to look after her.
139
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,984
You can count on
me, Mr. Lawrence.
140
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,786
Thank you.
141
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,810
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Please forgive me.
142
00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:23,158
Sheila, darling.
143
00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:25,595
Are you all right? You've
got to watch yourself.
144
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,264
It was an accident, Daddy.
145
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:31,067
I think I could look after her.
146
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,801
Now, you didn't
forget to tip the cabby
147
00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,270
and... And did you
pack your vitamins?
148
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,772
And be careful of what you
eat. And don't drink the water.
149
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:40,109
Daddy! I can take
care of myself.
150
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,210
Tell him, captain.
151
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,545
Uh, yes. Yes, of course.
152
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,147
Be careful of who you talk to.
153
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,182
There are a lot of
weird guys on a ship.
154
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,751
Daddy... You see,
she doesn't date much.
155
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,253
Daddy, really.
156
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:54,012
Well, have a good
time, sweetheart.
157
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,814
It'll be a slice of heaven.
158
00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,062
All right, Herb. Let's go.
159
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,963
Now, come on, there's
nothing to worry about now.
160
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,831
Dr. Bricker is the
best man I have.
161
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:05,656
He'll treat your... Treat
your daughter just like...
162
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,089
I don't mean to be forward,
163
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,958
but are you a
professional model?
164
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,849
I used to be, but
now I'm a doctor.
165
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:04,226
I haven't seen you wear
that since our wedding,
166
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:05,762
38 years ago.
167
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:08,531
You don't think it's out of
style for a cruise, do you?
168
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,934
Not if the cruise
is 38 years ago.
169
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,358
I guess you're right.
170
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,907
You're having a
good time, aren't you?
171
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:21,210
Oh, yes, Wendel. Thank you.
172
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:23,045
You deserve it, Ida.
173
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,982
But, dear, how did
you afford all this?
174
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,317
I told you not
to worry about it.
175
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:31,076
Well, I will worry
about it, unless I know.
176
00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,446
Well, I...
177
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,985
I took out a small
mortgage on the house.
178
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,267
You took out a mortgage?
179
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:45,835
How will we pay it back?
180
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,304
Ida, I know where
to get the money.
181
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,039
But we only have our pension.
182
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,374
We could lose our home.
183
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:53,542
Ida, haven't I always
managed to provide for us?
184
00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:55,078
I know we haven't
lived like kings...
185
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,579
I'm sorry, Wendel.
186
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,681
I trust you.
187
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,183
I know everything
will be all right.
188
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,052
Well, then, give us a smile.
189
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:06,589
You're here to enjoy
yourself, remember?
190
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:07,893
That's better.
191
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,494
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
192
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,630
This is Julie McCoy,
your cruise director.
193
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:17,200
Our first session of
jackpot bingo will be starting
194
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:20,470
in just 15 minutes in
the Acapulco Lounge.
195
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:21,804
How about that?
196
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:24,640
As I recall, you were always
the prettiest and the best
197
00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:27,109
bingo player at
every church social.
198
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,244
Were?
199
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,713
Well, you're
still the prettiest.
200
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,082
And I'm still the best.
201
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,284
Then hop to it.
202
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:39,322
Aren't you coming with me?
203
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,324
I'm not as pretty
as I used to be.
204
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:44,093
And I want to see if I can
remember how to play gin rummy.
205
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,461
I'll see you later. Okay.
206
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,205
I love you. I love you.
207
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,048
Nine of hearts.
208
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:24,188
Jack of clubs.
209
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,600
Ida, forgive me.
210
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:51,961
Hello. Mr. and Mrs. Watkins,
211
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,425
I'd like you to meet
the Desmonds.
212
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,834
Uh, the Desmonds are newlyweds.
213
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,703
Oh. Never would have guessed.
214
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:01,770
Enjoy your dinner.
215
00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:05,073
Thank you. Oh, hi, uh,
we're the Desmonds.
216
00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:07,910
My wife, Ellen. I'm Scott.
I'm Gladys Watkins...
217
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:10,480
and this is my husband,
Max. I'm, uh, Max.
218
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:11,480
Thank you, dear.
219
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,082
You're welcome.
220
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,417
When were you married?
221
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:15,484
This morning.
222
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,586
Oh.
223
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:18,650
And you're still
talking to each other.
224
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:20,757
We've been married 25 years.
225
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:21,823
Oh.
226
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:22,858
Yeah, in some states,
227
00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:24,281
you get less for murder.
228
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,152
Max.
229
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:31,867
Now, I suggest either the
Pollo à la Cacciatore Con Fungi,
230
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:34,037
or a nice New
England boiled dinner.
231
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,671
Both very good. Oh.
232
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,406
This looks sort of
fascinating, doesn't it?
233
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,107
Oh, sir, um,
234
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:41,377
I'd like you to meet
Mr. and Mrs. Wendel Snead.
235
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,412
This is Captain Stubing.
236
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:43,679
How do you do? How do you do?
237
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,847
Hello.
238
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,683
May I compliment you
on your wonderful crew?
239
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,552
Why, thank you.
240
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:53,022
I must say, Miss McCoy
calls a mean game of bingo.
241
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,458
And Gopher's a mighty
mean gin rummy player.
242
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:58,694
He took me for a
$1.27 this afternoon.
243
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,697
I hope you let me get
even with you tonight.
244
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,501
Uh, I warn you, I hear that
Gopher is a pretty good player.
245
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:06,869
You know, uh,
246
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,871
I might just get lucky myself.
247
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:21,383
Sheila, you're
looking for trouble.
248
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,175
Really, doctor, I can
take care of myself.
249
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,794
As long as neatness
doesn't count.
250
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:33,796
Look, let me lay it out for you.
251
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,097
That guy at that table
252
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,732
is nothing but a
cruise-ship cowboy
253
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,469
looking to add another
notch to his life preserver.
254
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:41,403
He only wants
one thing from you.
255
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,106
He'll take your
heart and rip it apart.
256
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:46,075
And then he'll stomp
on it and squish it
257
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,609
and turn it into hamburger meat.
258
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,578
And then he'll leave
you on the dock
259
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,080
crying for your mother,
260
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,314
and then you know what he'll do?
261
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,050
He'll just go off and
look for somebody else.
262
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,034
Think you could introduce me?
263
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,359
Good evening, Miss Lawrence.
264
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:06,295
Uh, are you okay?
Would you like something?
265
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:07,463
Well...
266
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,665
Uh, captain, may I
have a word with you?
267
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:10,921
Certainly.
268
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,232
Excuse me. Excuse me.
269
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,877
Hello again.
270
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:23,646
Captain, I have a horrible
confession to make.
271
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,449
I'm a lousy chaperone.
272
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,107
Maybe a little
practice will help.
273
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,245
Oh, no.
274
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,927
I... I'm not trying
to pick you up.
275
00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:41,363
I think I'm in love with you.
276
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,899
That's not love. Those
are hunger pangs.
277
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,189
Go eat your dinner.
278
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:09,926
Isn't it beautiful?
279
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:14,063
So calm, yet dark
and mysterious.
280
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,365
I just love the sea at night.
281
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,589
Why? You can't see anything.
282
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,940
Doesn't it make you
feel insignificant?
283
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,875
The enormity of it all.
284
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:28,333
I can't see it.
285
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:32,314
Please make a note to
send the champagne and fruit
286
00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:33,348
to the Promenade suite.
287
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,451
Uh, pardon me. Yes?
288
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,487
I hate to be a bother, but is
there a doctor on the ship?
289
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,122
Well, yes, of course.
What's the problem?
290
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:42,491
A stomachache. Must
have been something I ate.
291
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:43,659
Oh. Probably at home.
292
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:46,094
Not here. Here,
the food's delicious.
293
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:47,363
Well, I tell you what.
294
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,265
Why don't you go to
your cabin and lie down,
295
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,800
and I'll send the doctor to you.
296
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:52,634
Thank you. Excuse me.
297
00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:53,703
Your cabin number.
298
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,238
Oh. Uh, Aloha 358.
299
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:57,982
Got it. Thanks.
300
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,909
A grown woman with a chaperone.
301
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,144
It's ridiculous.
302
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:05,414
Well, it could have been worse.
303
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,249
How?
304
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:08,406
Thank you.
305
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,486
Oh, Doc.
306
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,688
Hi, Sheila. Hi.
307
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:15,457
Uh, I should have known I'd
find you two in the moonlight.
308
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:20,629
Doc, there's a fellow in
Aloha 358 with a stomachache.
309
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:21,653
Okay?
310
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,735
Sorry. I gotta play doctor.
311
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,336
Come on. I'll take
you to your cabin.
312
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,705
I think I'll just stay
here a little while.
313
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,207
I won't be long.
314
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,063
Enjoy the moonlight without me.
315
00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:46,711
I love the...
316
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:51,315
I love the way
your moon refle...
317
00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:58,067
I love the way your eyes
reflect the shimmering moonlight
318
00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,036
on the rippling water.
319
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,692
Oh, Howard.
320
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,799
Just a minute.
321
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:14,071
Yeah? Hi, I'm Dr. Bricker.
322
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:21,678
How...? How you
doing? Fine, thanks.
323
00:16:23,249 --> 00:16:24,527
Can I help?
324
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,662
No, I seem to be doing
just great by myself.
325
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,664
But if I run into anything
that I can't handle,
326
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,808
I'll be sure to give you a call.
327
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:39,208
"My words are merely
the thumping of my heart
328
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,709
put into language."
329
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:45,169
Oh, Howard, you have the
most romantic way of speaking.
330
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:53,778
See you tomorrow.
331
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:03,432
Did the moonlight
suffer without me?
332
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,816
It was the best
moonlight I've ever seen.
333
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,573
Oh, ho-ho-ho, wow.
334
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:26,455
Like it?
335
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,357
Like it? I love it.
336
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,614
Take it off.
337
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,065
Well, what do you say
we get some sleep?
338
00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:39,401
I want to get up early. I hear
there's a shuffleboard contest
339
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:40,603
tomorrow. Oh, golly,
340
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,359
we don't want to miss that.
341
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:47,698
Oh, darling, we're so
lucky to have each other.
342
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,146
Yeah.
343
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:52,148
Not like that couple
in the dining room.
344
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:53,915
I mean, here we are
in each other's arms
345
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:56,618
and right now they're
probably at each other's throats.
346
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:59,688
Well, let's not think about
them and their silly fighting.
347
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:02,024
I have other things on my mind.
348
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:04,982
I do too.
349
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:18,106
But, you know, she
sort of does have a point.
350
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:19,641
What are you talking about?
351
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:22,911
She's the one who dragged him
on a ship he didn't want to be on.
352
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,580
Well, then he should've
been more involved
353
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:28,083
in the planning, like you were
involved in our honeymoon.
354
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,985
Heh-heh-heh. What
are you talking about?
355
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,554
I asked you if you wanted to
go to Aspen, Hawaii or Miami.
356
00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,898
You said, "Let's take a cruise."
357
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,620
Are you sorry you're here?
358
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:46,068
I... I didn't say that.
359
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,237
Well, then exactly
what did you say?
360
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:51,574
Well, I... I don't
know what I said.
361
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,441
Well, then it must not
have been very important,
362
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,044
or you wouldn't
have forgotten it.
363
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:57,188
Can you recite the
Gettysburg Address?
364
00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:00,049
What? Uh-huh.
365
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:02,240
That's important
and you forgot it.
366
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,824
I married a crazy person.
367
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:21,169
Well, Gopher, it looks
like $321 you owe me.
368
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,572
Three hundred and
twenty-one dollars?
369
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,609
Heh-heh. I guess
my luck's improving.
370
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,578
There you are, Wendel.
371
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,447
Still playing gin at this hour?
372
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,081
I'm getting to like it.
373
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:35,517
Well, I'm off to bed,
and you should be too.
374
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,652
And look at Gopher,
he's exhausted.
375
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,888
I think that's enough
gin for one night.
376
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,958
I'll be with you as soon
as I collect my winnings.
377
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,593
Gopher, pay him the $5,
378
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,184
and then he'll
let you go to bed.
379
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:53,902
Mr. Snead, I don't think I have
$321 in my checking account.
380
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,271
That's cash, Gopher.
381
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,139
Cash?
382
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,808
After all, I paid you
cash when I lost.
383
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,243
You don't have to
pay me right away.
384
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:02,244
Thank you.
385
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:05,180
By noon tomorrow's fine.
386
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,249
Noon tomorrow?
387
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,313
Three hundred and
twenty-one dollars.
388
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,889
Sure do know how to
keep the passengers happy.
389
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,257
Let's add this again:
390
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:20,462
342, three... No, 321.
391
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:23,731
That's what it
comes out to: 321.
392
00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:24,900
That's right.
393
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:27,044
Hi, Gopher. Whatever.
394
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:28,436
Mr. Snead.
395
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:29,905
You want a nightcap
before I close up?
396
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,806
Thanks, Isaac. I'll have a gin.
397
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:34,910
Ah, gin's your drink and
gin's your game, huh?
398
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,511
Care to join me?
399
00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,580
In which one?
400
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,382
Both, if you like.
401
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:43,052
Ha-ha. You're on.
402
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,504
Passengers who
wish to take a land tour
403
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:03,972
when we reach Cabo San Lucas,
404
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,774
please report to
the purser's office.
405
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:07,609
Thank you.
406
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:10,579
If we were in Rome now,
you'd be looking at the Coliseum.
407
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,781
Aren't these sights better?
408
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:15,717
Would you be happier,
Gladys, if I closed my eyes?
409
00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:17,441
I'd settle for your mouth.
410
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:20,922
Julie. Yeah?
411
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,625
Uh, I gotta find Gopher.
Have you seen him? No.
412
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:25,827
Oh. Can I help you?
413
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:30,532
No, but if you see Gopher,
tell him I gotta talk to him.
414
00:21:30,556 --> 00:21:31,556
Okay.
415
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:36,405
Oh, hi, Doc. Hi, Sheila.
416
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:38,507
Hello, Mr. Snead. Oh, hi.
417
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:40,742
Where's Ida? She's
having a little rest.
418
00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:42,077
She's played so much bingo,
419
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:43,945
she's seeing numbers
before her eyes.
420
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,414
Hm. How about a little company?
421
00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:46,948
I'll play you crazy eights.
422
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,650
I don't know how to play that.
423
00:21:48,674 --> 00:21:49,707
Gin?
424
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:53,722
You twisted my arm. Oh, good.
425
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:57,559
You know, I can't get over
how silly we were last night.
426
00:21:57,583 --> 00:21:59,294
You know, you're
really good at fighting.
427
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:00,862
You're really good at making up.
428
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:02,486
Well...
429
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,469
Uh-oh, look who's here.
430
00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:08,937
Punch and Judy.
431
00:22:13,566 --> 00:22:14,943
Hi. GLADYS: Hi.
432
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:16,211
Hey.
433
00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:18,447
Enjoying your cruise? Oh, yes.
434
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:20,115
I'd rather be in Rome,
435
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:23,118
but, uh, thanks to
my travel agent here...
436
00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:25,353
You're not gonna start
that again, are you, Max?
437
00:22:25,377 --> 00:22:28,456
Hey, hey, hey, hey. We don't
always get what we want in life.
438
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:29,925
I mean, Ellen and
I discussed our trip
439
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:31,993
like two rational people,
and it so happened
440
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:34,563
that this time we got to
do what she wanted to do.
441
00:22:34,587 --> 00:22:35,931
What I wanted?
442
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,466
Well, I mean, what
we both wanted.
443
00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:39,468
I mean, if it were up to me,
I probably would have gone
444
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:42,104
to Aspen, but what the
heck. I'm making the best of it.
445
00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:43,672
Making the best of it?
446
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,774
Uh, honey, you're
getting me all wrong.
447
00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,209
I'm getting you right.
448
00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:50,867
The next time you go on a
honeymoon, you make the plans.
449
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,851
You know, I bet you
don't win an argument
450
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:59,610
till you've been married
at least ten years.
451
00:23:02,848 --> 00:23:05,294
You know, you're a
regular Henry Kissinger.
452
00:23:05,318 --> 00:23:08,464
Gladys, they have to find
out what marriage is all about.
453
00:23:08,488 --> 00:23:10,499
Fighting isn't
what it's all about.
454
00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:12,601
We have plenty of
good times, don't we?
455
00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:13,602
Name one.
456
00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:16,237
Oh, Max, I'm being serious.
457
00:23:16,261 --> 00:23:17,573
So am I.
458
00:23:17,597 --> 00:23:19,174
Come on, Gladys.
459
00:23:19,198 --> 00:23:21,276
Good times, bad
times. Who cares?
460
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:24,200
It's all about being
together, and that's all good.
461
00:23:25,371 --> 00:23:27,949
Oh, Max, I do love you.
462
00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:30,118
Yeah, try to tell them that.
463
00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:31,842
Maybe I will.
464
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:34,178
Gladys...
465
00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:37,392
Maybe you should wear a hat.
466
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,461
This Mexican sun strikes fast.
467
00:23:39,485 --> 00:23:42,052
Doctor, please.
468
00:23:45,691 --> 00:23:47,436
You're sure you don't
want to take a swim?
469
00:23:47,460 --> 00:23:49,860
No, thanks. I
don't like to swim.
470
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,604
I think I'll take a swim.
471
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,115
Hi. Hi.
472
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,452
How are you? Fine.
473
00:24:17,422 --> 00:24:18,800
You'd better talk fast,
474
00:24:18,824 --> 00:24:22,125
because my secret-service
man will be here any second.
475
00:24:24,897 --> 00:24:26,764
Okay, Flipper,
move it or lose it.
476
00:24:38,878 --> 00:24:40,443
Here. Don't catch cold.
477
00:24:41,446 --> 00:24:43,280
I didn't know he would be there.
478
00:24:48,687 --> 00:24:52,922
"On you, droplets of water
seem to be diamonds."
479
00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:55,203
Hi, Isaac.
480
00:24:56,963 --> 00:24:58,640
How about a drink, Doc?
481
00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:00,575
No, thanks, but it's
nice of you to offer.
482
00:25:00,599 --> 00:25:01,743
Sure, what would you like?
483
00:25:01,767 --> 00:25:02,911
A piña colada.
484
00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:04,168
Coming up.
485
00:25:15,314 --> 00:25:18,660
On you, droplets of water
486
00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,995
appear to be diamonds.
487
00:25:21,019 --> 00:25:22,819
Oh, Howard.
488
00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:49,524
For you.
489
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:52,427
I don't want your presents.
490
00:25:52,451 --> 00:25:54,629
This is a peace offering.
491
00:25:54,653 --> 00:25:57,432
Take it or I'll wrap
it around your neck.
492
00:25:57,456 --> 00:26:00,067
I'll take it when you
admit you were wrong.
493
00:26:00,091 --> 00:26:01,403
Okay. I was wrong.
494
00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:02,504
I was wrong to tell the truth
495
00:26:02,528 --> 00:26:04,372
and admit I would
rather be in Aspen.
496
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:07,609
Oh, you can keep
your turkey, turkey.
497
00:26:07,633 --> 00:26:11,679
Kids. Oh, kids, please
don't let this happen.
498
00:26:11,703 --> 00:26:13,815
You're beginning to
sound just like Max and me.
499
00:26:13,839 --> 00:26:15,650
Gladys, this isn't your fight.
500
00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:19,354
Oh, yes, it is. It is
exactly our style.
501
00:26:19,378 --> 00:26:22,624
The stubbornness, the pettiness
and the stupid pigheadedness.
502
00:26:22,648 --> 00:26:26,895
Look, I just wanted you to know
that we're not always like that.
503
00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:29,598
Sometimes we're
very loving and close.
504
00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:33,501
Gladys, don't mix in.
505
00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:36,604
Look, it's just that sometimes
it seems that fighting
506
00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:38,874
is the only way that
we can communicate.
507
00:26:38,898 --> 00:26:41,543
And I'm so sorry that
we did it in front of you.
508
00:26:41,567 --> 00:26:46,881
Gladys, don't apologize for us.
509
00:26:46,905 --> 00:26:50,919
Well, it looks like you're
communicating right now.
510
00:26:50,943 --> 00:26:54,122
It's more than I
could say for you.
511
00:26:54,146 --> 00:26:56,291
How about this
for communication,
512
00:26:56,315 --> 00:26:58,794
take a hike.
513
00:26:58,818 --> 00:27:00,128
I got you the wrong animal.
514
00:27:00,152 --> 00:27:03,765
I should have bought you a mule!
515
00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:12,707
Now see what you've done?
516
00:27:12,731 --> 00:27:14,709
Busy messing up their lives
517
00:27:14,733 --> 00:27:16,778
when you should have been
with me at the skeet shoot.
518
00:27:16,802 --> 00:27:19,036
Oh, shoot this.
519
00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:24,119
Good morning.
520
00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:26,254
The 12:00 luncheon
seating will begin
521
00:27:26,278 --> 00:27:28,990
in half an hour in the
Coral Dining Room.
522
00:27:29,014 --> 00:27:30,792
Bon appétit.
523
00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:40,968
Uh, Gopher, it's
me, Isaac. Open up.
524
00:27:40,992 --> 00:27:43,371
Oh, uh, Isaac, listen,
uh, I'm... I'm not decent.
525
00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:45,507
Listen, I-I'll settle
for half decent.
526
00:27:45,531 --> 00:27:47,375
Uh, come back later, will you?
527
00:27:47,399 --> 00:27:49,444
Listen, Gopher, I
gotta talk to you.
528
00:27:49,468 --> 00:27:51,746
It's a matter of life and death.
529
00:27:51,770 --> 00:27:54,383
All right. Just a
minute. Hang on.
530
00:27:54,407 --> 00:27:55,817
Listen, Gopher, I'm in a jam,
531
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:57,219
you're the only one
that can help me.
532
00:27:57,243 --> 00:27:59,321
I understand. We'll get
together sometime next week.
533
00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:00,922
Listen, Gopher,
this is important.
534
00:28:00,946 --> 00:28:02,424
You've got the
emergency fund, right?
535
00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:04,026
How do you know I
have the emergency fund?
536
00:28:04,050 --> 00:28:05,793
You're in charge of
the emergency fund.
537
00:28:05,817 --> 00:28:07,996
Now, I need to make a loan
and I need to make it now.
538
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:10,432
Oh, you need to make a loan.
539
00:28:10,456 --> 00:28:14,002
Uh-huh. Oh, well... Yeah.
540
00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:15,503
What's that lamp doing there?
541
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,506
I was reading in bed.
542
00:28:17,530 --> 00:28:19,173
Gopher, this is serious.
543
00:28:19,197 --> 00:28:21,576
Now, I owe Mr. Snead
a lot of money.
544
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,512
Oh, Mr. Snead.
545
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,848
Yeah. A-after you
left the bar last night,
546
00:28:26,872 --> 00:28:30,018
well, we kinda got
into a little game of gin.
547
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:33,388
There's one born every minute.
548
00:28:33,412 --> 00:28:35,578
Actually, there's two
born every minute.
549
00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:41,229
How much did you lose?
550
00:28:41,253 --> 00:28:43,397
Three hundred and
twenty-one dollars.
551
00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:45,433
Boy, do you play rotten.
552
00:28:45,457 --> 00:28:48,102
I only lost 149.
553
00:28:48,126 --> 00:28:50,038
Oh, boy, I'll bet...
554
00:28:50,062 --> 00:28:52,406
I'll bet you that's Snead, and
I'll bet you he wants his money.
555
00:28:52,430 --> 00:28:54,475
How do you know that?
You haven't even answered it.
556
00:28:54,499 --> 00:28:57,679
It might be the captain.
Either way, it is not good news.
557
00:28:57,703 --> 00:28:59,369
Listen, answer it.
558
00:29:04,242 --> 00:29:06,054
Yeoman Purser Smith.
559
00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:08,323
Yeah, Julie?
560
00:29:08,347 --> 00:29:10,524
Oh, you're kidding.
561
00:29:10,548 --> 00:29:14,217
Oh, no. Oh, Julie.
562
00:29:15,587 --> 00:29:18,600
Julie, how could you let
Mr. Snead do that to you?
563
00:29:18,624 --> 00:29:20,535
How much did she lose?
564
00:29:20,559 --> 00:29:22,125
Sixty-seven dollars.
565
00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:26,407
Hm. After Snead she's
the next biggest winner.
566
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:28,509
No, Julie, just relax.
567
00:29:28,533 --> 00:29:31,713
No, no. No, I'll think
of something. Sure.
568
00:29:31,737 --> 00:29:33,236
Okay, keep in touch.
569
00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:40,255
Hi, guys.
570
00:29:40,279 --> 00:29:41,811
Let me try that again.
571
00:29:43,415 --> 00:29:45,160
Hi, guys.
572
00:29:45,184 --> 00:29:46,561
That was my best shot.
573
00:29:46,585 --> 00:29:48,496
Doc, we've got a problem here.
574
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,131
I almost had a problem.
575
00:29:50,155 --> 00:29:54,002
A kindly old gentleman almost
suckered me into a gin game.
576
00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:55,503
You didn't play
with him, did you?
577
00:29:55,527 --> 00:29:58,106
Are you crazy? He was
working with a marked deck.
578
00:29:58,130 --> 00:30:00,642
How do you know it
was a marked deck?
579
00:30:00,666 --> 00:30:02,076
Elementary.
580
00:30:02,100 --> 00:30:03,911
I have the hands of a surgeon.
581
00:30:03,935 --> 00:30:05,613
The eyes of an eagle.
582
00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:09,017
And an ex-wife who's
a dealer in Vegas.
583
00:30:21,419 --> 00:30:22,797
Okay, we all set? Mm-hm.
584
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:24,398
Yeah. Where's Mrs. Snead?
585
00:30:24,422 --> 00:30:25,566
In the beauty parlor.
586
00:30:25,590 --> 00:30:27,068
And Julie's keeping
the captain busy?
587
00:30:27,092 --> 00:30:28,770
Yeah. Yeah, but
Julie felt kind of bad
588
00:30:28,794 --> 00:30:32,006
about cheating
Mr. Snead. He cheated us.
589
00:30:32,030 --> 00:30:34,042
Look, you gotta
fight fire with fire.
590
00:30:34,066 --> 00:30:36,077
She felt bad. I don't.
591
00:30:36,101 --> 00:30:37,245
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
592
00:30:37,269 --> 00:30:38,880
Maybe Julie's right.
It's only money.
593
00:30:38,904 --> 00:30:41,215
I mean, among the three
of you, how much you out?
594
00:30:41,239 --> 00:30:43,184
Five hundred and
thirty-seven dollars.
595
00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:45,519
Over the top!
596
00:30:57,055 --> 00:30:59,535
Twelve o'clock.
Right on the button.
597
00:31:02,394 --> 00:31:04,539
Did you bring the, uh...?
598
00:31:04,563 --> 00:31:05,707
Here it is. You can count it.
599
00:31:05,731 --> 00:31:07,174
Oh, count it.
600
00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:10,011
Mr. Snead, I took that money
from the ship's emergency fund.
601
00:31:10,035 --> 00:31:11,846
I sure would like a chance
to win some of it back.
602
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:15,183
No, Gopher. I don't want you to
get in any deeper than you are.
603
00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:17,485
Well, what makes you so
sure that you're going to win?
604
00:31:17,509 --> 00:31:21,590
Uh... Who said I was sure?
605
00:31:21,614 --> 00:31:23,947
Then let's see
what the cards say.
606
00:31:30,322 --> 00:31:31,466
Uh, what are you doing?
607
00:31:31,490 --> 00:31:35,269
Ah. Captain, he's
got eyes everywhere.
608
00:31:35,293 --> 00:31:37,138
Oh, I'll sit there.
609
00:31:37,162 --> 00:31:39,440
The couch is much
more comfortable.
610
00:31:45,303 --> 00:31:46,870
All right.
611
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:30,847
He's collecting fours and clubs.
612
00:32:34,820 --> 00:32:37,666
Luncheon is now being
served in the Coral Dining Room.
613
00:32:37,690 --> 00:32:41,302
Our special today is Number 4,
614
00:32:41,326 --> 00:32:44,005
club sandwich.
615
00:32:44,029 --> 00:32:46,741
May we also recommend
our chicken à la king.
616
00:32:46,765 --> 00:32:49,766
Our chefs really put
their hearts into this one.
617
00:33:02,614 --> 00:33:05,026
Miss McCoy.
Captain Stubing. Heh.
618
00:33:05,050 --> 00:33:06,293
Sir, I'd like to go over
619
00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:07,695
the details for
the party tonight.
620
00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:09,163
Well, I was just
going in to lunch.
621
00:33:09,187 --> 00:33:10,932
That chicken à la
king sounds good.
622
00:33:10,956 --> 00:33:13,267
Yes, I understand, sir, but
I've just a few of these details.
623
00:33:13,291 --> 00:33:14,568
Uh, later, Miss McCoy.
624
00:33:14,592 --> 00:33:16,537
I don't want them to run
out of chicken à la king.
625
00:33:16,561 --> 00:33:18,639
Yeah. Uh, captain!
626
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:21,142
Captain Stubing, sir, I
really do have to talk to you.
627
00:33:21,166 --> 00:33:24,445
Miss McCoy, I'm starved.
See me after lunch.
628
00:33:24,469 --> 00:33:27,681
There'll be a full dress party
on the Lido Deck tonight.
629
00:33:27,705 --> 00:33:29,683
Isn't that Isaac? Yes, sir.
630
00:33:29,707 --> 00:33:31,252
He's terrific, isn't he?
631
00:33:31,276 --> 00:33:34,055
Yes, ladies, you can
wear your diamonds,
632
00:33:34,079 --> 00:33:38,659
so discard any other
plans you may have.
633
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:41,818
Overdoing it a bit, I'd say.
634
00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:50,660
Snead needs a nine
of spades to make gin.
635
00:33:52,597 --> 00:33:55,476
Our foreign film festival
continues this afternoon
636
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:58,246
with Nein, Mein Leibchen,
637
00:33:58,270 --> 00:34:02,239
starring Hildegard Spaderhoff.
638
00:34:05,878 --> 00:34:07,577
Coming.
639
00:34:14,352 --> 00:34:16,264
Oh, hi, Sheila.
640
00:34:16,288 --> 00:34:18,566
Hi, Doc. Doc isn't here.
641
00:34:18,590 --> 00:34:20,934
I haven't seen him
for the past hour.
642
00:34:20,958 --> 00:34:23,104
He must be making house calls.
643
00:34:23,128 --> 00:34:26,263
Oh. Uh, come in.
644
00:34:39,978 --> 00:34:42,290
If I'd gone without seeing you
645
00:34:42,314 --> 00:34:44,358
for another five minutes,
646
00:34:44,382 --> 00:34:46,960
I wouldn't have been
responsible for my actions.
647
00:34:46,984 --> 00:34:48,396
Oh, Howard,
648
00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:50,364
you always have the
perfect thing to say
649
00:34:50,388 --> 00:34:52,900
right on the tip of your tongue.
650
00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:55,270
This is Isaac, your
bartender, saying,
651
00:34:55,294 --> 00:34:59,474
run one-two-three to
the Starlight Lounge
652
00:34:59,498 --> 00:35:04,378
where we're serving
martinis that are nearly all gin.
653
00:35:04,402 --> 00:35:05,522
Gin.
654
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:11,419
Nearly all gin?
655
00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:14,311
Now he's doing
plugs for his martinis.
656
00:35:17,316 --> 00:35:20,261
"Baby, this isn't just
one of those things.
657
00:35:20,285 --> 00:35:23,130
This is a for-real
relationship."
658
00:35:23,154 --> 00:35:26,067
Oh, Howard, you
make me so happy.
659
00:35:26,091 --> 00:35:28,236
I can't wait till you
meet my father.
660
00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:31,472
He was afraid I'd meet one
of those phonies on board.
661
00:35:31,496 --> 00:35:34,075
Someone who'd
take advantage of me.
662
00:35:34,099 --> 00:35:35,810
But you. Ah.
663
00:35:35,834 --> 00:35:37,900
Oh.
664
00:35:42,207 --> 00:35:44,473
Oh, Howard.
665
00:35:45,676 --> 00:35:48,089
What's the book? Book?
666
00:35:48,113 --> 00:35:49,824
I-is that a book?
667
00:35:49,848 --> 00:35:52,193
"No girl can resist this line.
668
00:35:52,217 --> 00:35:54,696
"Baby, this isn't just
one of those things,
669
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:57,131
this is a for-real
relationship."
670
00:35:57,155 --> 00:35:58,833
Uh, Sheila. No.
671
00:35:58,857 --> 00:36:00,001
"How to Hit on Girls."
672
00:36:00,025 --> 00:36:02,036
Oh, please, I... You... Uh...
673
00:36:02,060 --> 00:36:04,472
How to Hit on Girls?
674
00:36:04,496 --> 00:36:07,509
Please. How 'bout
how to hit a boy?
675
00:36:07,533 --> 00:36:09,900
How 'bout how to hit a boy?
676
00:36:18,810 --> 00:36:21,289
Good afternoon, this is
the officer of the watch.
677
00:36:21,313 --> 00:36:22,956
If you look off the port side,
678
00:36:22,980 --> 00:36:26,194
you can see a rather
large school of dolphins.
679
00:36:31,823 --> 00:36:33,267
But, captain, he's a crook.
680
00:36:33,291 --> 00:36:35,003
That doesn't explain
your behavior.
681
00:36:35,027 --> 00:36:36,704
But, captain, listen,
we were only trying
682
00:36:36,728 --> 00:36:38,071
to beat him at his own game.
683
00:36:38,095 --> 00:36:41,509
If he were a nudist, would
you run around naked?
684
00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:42,832
Come in.
685
00:36:46,404 --> 00:36:49,617
Captain Stubing, sir!
686
00:36:49,641 --> 00:36:52,787
Mr. Snead. I owe you an apology.
687
00:36:52,811 --> 00:36:55,912
They owe you an apology.
688
00:36:57,216 --> 00:36:59,949
My crew has been
cheating you at cards.
689
00:37:04,456 --> 00:37:06,501
I thought I was just unlucky.
690
00:37:06,525 --> 00:37:08,591
I assure you, they
will be dealt with.
691
00:37:09,594 --> 00:37:11,027
Dealt with? How?
692
00:37:11,963 --> 00:37:14,430
They'll be dismissed.
693
00:37:18,436 --> 00:37:20,281
They're gonna lose their jobs?
694
00:37:20,305 --> 00:37:21,549
That's what it means.
695
00:37:21,573 --> 00:37:24,052
No, captain.
696
00:37:24,076 --> 00:37:25,886
That wouldn't be fair.
697
00:37:25,910 --> 00:37:27,543
I was cheating them too.
698
00:37:35,620 --> 00:37:39,567
Mr. Snead, you
should be ashamed.
699
00:37:39,591 --> 00:37:41,435
I am ashamed.
700
00:37:41,459 --> 00:37:44,705
I only did it because I
desperately needed the money.
701
00:37:44,729 --> 00:37:48,076
I mortgaged our house
to pay for this cruise.
702
00:37:48,100 --> 00:37:51,779
Ida wanted so much to
see her grandchildren.
703
00:37:51,803 --> 00:37:54,070
I have no way to
pay that money back.
704
00:37:57,075 --> 00:37:59,253
Oh, my God.
705
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:00,943
This is gonna kill Ida.
706
00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:24,078
Sir, we have got our money back.
707
00:38:24,102 --> 00:38:26,582
Yes, captain, don't you think...
708
00:38:30,742 --> 00:38:33,187
Mr. Snead.
709
00:38:33,211 --> 00:38:36,891
It looks to me like things
are just about even.
710
00:38:36,915 --> 00:38:39,115
Let's consider
this matter closed.
711
00:39:06,745 --> 00:39:09,690
Listen, Sheila, I have
to get this off my chest.
712
00:39:09,714 --> 00:39:11,674
This whole thing
is Bernie's fault.
713
00:39:16,487 --> 00:39:18,065
See what I saved you from?
714
00:39:18,089 --> 00:39:21,469
Now he's talking to himself.
715
00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:25,295
He's probably the only one
he could find who'd listen.
716
00:39:33,105 --> 00:39:34,415
Mind if I sit down?
717
00:39:34,439 --> 00:39:37,285
Oh, no, please do.
718
00:39:37,309 --> 00:39:39,053
Where's your husband?
719
00:39:39,077 --> 00:39:40,610
Who cares?
720
00:39:44,181 --> 00:39:46,360
Bourbon on the rocks, please.
721
00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:47,862
Comin' up.
722
00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:49,831
Well, it's you.
723
00:39:49,855 --> 00:39:52,233
Great. That's just
what I needed.
724
00:39:52,257 --> 00:39:54,501
Hey, I was here
first, troublemaker.
725
00:39:54,525 --> 00:39:56,270
Troublemaker? Me?
726
00:39:56,294 --> 00:39:59,273
That's right. Because of you,
my wife isn't speaking to me.
727
00:39:59,297 --> 00:40:01,042
Well, my wife isn't
speaking to me either,
728
00:40:01,066 --> 00:40:02,543
and I'm on my honeymoon.
729
00:40:02,567 --> 00:40:04,687
What do you want me
to do, ask you to dance?
730
00:40:06,204 --> 00:40:07,848
Here we are, folks.
731
00:40:07,872 --> 00:40:11,352
This is our Lido Deck and
the swimming pool is real.
732
00:40:13,878 --> 00:40:16,791
Oh, hello! Hi.
733
00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:19,360
Julie, Gopher. Mrs. Snead
wanted you to meet the family,
734
00:40:19,384 --> 00:40:21,228
especially the
grandchildren. Hey.
735
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,330
Hi. And this is Sarah and Billy.
736
00:40:23,354 --> 00:40:25,500
My daughter Anita
and her husband, Frank.
737
00:40:25,524 --> 00:40:27,334
Well, how do you
do? Mucho gusto.
738
00:40:27,358 --> 00:40:29,504
Now, Julie, don't forget
you promised to show them
739
00:40:29,528 --> 00:40:31,572
all over the ship.
It'll be my pleasure.
740
00:40:31,596 --> 00:40:33,808
And then we'll come
back and join the party.
741
00:40:33,832 --> 00:40:35,576
How 'bout I show you
the captain's quarters?
742
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,111
Pretty dress. JULIE: Hurry.
743
00:40:37,135 --> 00:40:39,416
If we go up to the bridge, he
won't even know we're there.
744
00:40:57,289 --> 00:40:59,667
I don't understand it.
745
00:40:59,691 --> 00:41:01,134
Before we were married,
746
00:41:01,158 --> 00:41:04,438
Scott and I never fought.
747
00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:07,875
I remember once Max and I
didn't have a single argument
748
00:41:07,899 --> 00:41:09,677
for six whole weeks.
749
00:41:09,701 --> 00:41:11,512
His jaw was broken.
750
00:41:13,939 --> 00:41:16,850
Sheila, I-I have to
get this off my chest.
751
00:41:16,874 --> 00:41:18,319
It's all Bernie's fault.
752
00:41:18,343 --> 00:41:20,776
See, he gave me...
753
00:41:47,506 --> 00:41:51,351
Gentlemen, I've spent a
lot of time over the years
754
00:41:51,375 --> 00:41:53,788
dispensing advice.
755
00:41:53,812 --> 00:41:55,355
You wanna know what I think?
756
00:41:55,379 --> 00:41:57,758
I don't. I don't.
757
00:42:01,018 --> 00:42:02,863
Listen to me, kid.
758
00:42:02,887 --> 00:42:04,899
Play hard to get.
She'll come around.
759
00:42:04,923 --> 00:42:06,400
You gotta keep women
under your thumb,
760
00:42:06,424 --> 00:42:08,970
or you'll lose control.
761
00:42:08,994 --> 00:42:10,938
Well, I got a better idea, Max.
762
00:42:10,962 --> 00:42:12,606
I'm gonna tell her I'm sorry.
763
00:42:12,630 --> 00:42:16,677
Why? You weren't
wrong. Neither was she.
764
00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:20,781
Max, someone's gotta say
I'm sorry, or each day the...
765
00:42:20,805 --> 00:42:22,983
The anger gets buried a
little deeper until one day
766
00:42:23,007 --> 00:42:25,047
you find it's so deep,
it'll never come out.
767
00:42:25,843 --> 00:42:27,955
You don't understand, kid.
768
00:42:27,979 --> 00:42:29,857
Marriages may be made in heaven,
769
00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:31,792
but they're lived in Pittsburgh.
770
00:42:31,816 --> 00:42:35,929
What Gladys and I
have may not be perfect,
771
00:42:35,953 --> 00:42:38,699
but it's... It's what we've got,
772
00:42:38,723 --> 00:42:40,334
and that's okay with me.
773
00:42:40,358 --> 00:42:41,636
Well, if it's so okay, Max.
774
00:42:41,660 --> 00:42:43,604
How come you're
sitting here and, uh,
775
00:42:43,628 --> 00:42:45,795
she's sitting over there?
776
00:42:58,409 --> 00:43:00,187
Ellen, I'm sorry.
777
00:43:00,211 --> 00:43:01,522
Wrong.
778
00:43:01,546 --> 00:43:02,956
Wrong?
779
00:43:02,980 --> 00:43:04,714
I'm sorry.
780
00:43:46,391 --> 00:43:47,391
Gladys.
781
00:43:50,929 --> 00:43:53,161
I'm, um...
782
00:43:56,434 --> 00:43:57,544
I'm sorry.
783
00:43:57,568 --> 00:44:00,147
Oh, Max,
784
00:44:00,171 --> 00:44:02,917
you haven't said
"I'm sorry" in...
785
00:44:02,941 --> 00:44:05,107
In 25 years.
786
00:44:07,712 --> 00:44:09,390
I'm sorry for that too.
787
00:44:09,414 --> 00:44:12,114
Oh, Max.
788
00:44:26,831 --> 00:44:29,777
Listen, Sheila. I have
to get this off your chest.
789
00:44:29,801 --> 00:44:32,146
I-I mean off my chest.
790
00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:34,781
It's Bernie's fault.
He gave me the book.
791
00:44:34,805 --> 00:44:37,151
See, beautiful
girls don't go for me.
792
00:44:37,175 --> 00:44:38,552
But you're different.
793
00:44:38,576 --> 00:44:41,388
I don't mean that
you're not beautiful,
794
00:44:41,412 --> 00:44:45,025
you are. To me, anyway.
795
00:44:45,049 --> 00:44:47,495
What I mean is, Sheila,
796
00:44:47,519 --> 00:44:51,632
that if you were my
girl, I'd be so proud,
797
00:44:51,656 --> 00:44:53,801
I'd climb the highest mountain
798
00:44:53,825 --> 00:44:55,436
and I'd yell,
799
00:44:55,460 --> 00:44:58,839
"She's my girl! She's my girl!
800
00:44:58,863 --> 00:45:00,341
She's my girl!"
801
00:45:04,369 --> 00:45:06,869
You didn't get that
out of any book.
802
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:16,679
Isaac.
803
00:45:19,950 --> 00:45:21,895
Mr. Snead,
804
00:45:21,919 --> 00:45:24,598
we know that mortgage
money has been on your mind,
805
00:45:24,622 --> 00:45:29,303
and so the crew got together
and they decided to give you this.
806
00:45:29,327 --> 00:45:30,704
What's this?
807
00:45:30,728 --> 00:45:33,307
That's the money from
the ship's emergency fund.
808
00:45:33,331 --> 00:45:35,276
Oh, we use that...
809
00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:38,012
when one of us is in trouble.
810
00:45:38,036 --> 00:45:40,647
Why are you giving it to me?
811
00:45:40,671 --> 00:45:44,351
Well, like Isaac said, when
one of our family is in trouble.
812
00:45:44,375 --> 00:45:46,686
Family?
813
00:45:46,710 --> 00:45:50,390
You'd consider me family
after what I've done to you?
814
00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:51,725
After I lied to you?
815
00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:53,394
After I cheated you?
816
00:45:53,418 --> 00:45:55,429
Being part of a family
817
00:45:55,453 --> 00:45:57,586
means knowing
how to forgive too.
818
00:46:00,324 --> 00:46:03,724
And here we are.
Back where we started.
819
00:46:10,268 --> 00:46:12,313
How lucky can one man get?
820
00:46:12,337 --> 00:46:14,269
I've got two families.
821
00:46:37,528 --> 00:46:39,406
Scott and I have
been talking it over.
822
00:46:39,430 --> 00:46:41,741
What do you say we all spend
our vacation together next year?
823
00:46:41,765 --> 00:46:43,610
I think it's a wonderful idea.
824
00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:46,113
Yeah, we could go to
Rome. We could go to Aspen.
825
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:47,247
Rome? Aspen?
826
00:46:47,271 --> 00:46:48,849
We were thinking
about another cruise.
827
00:46:48,873 --> 00:46:50,284
Oh, well, if you insist.
828
00:46:50,308 --> 00:46:52,853
If I'm forced to.
829
00:46:52,877 --> 00:46:55,689
She's engaged?
How could that be?
830
00:46:55,713 --> 00:46:56,991
A thousand-to-one shot.
831
00:46:57,015 --> 00:46:58,658
Oh, she doesn't
know what she's doing.
832
00:46:58,682 --> 00:47:02,162
She's an innocent. Another
thousand-to-one shot.
833
00:47:02,186 --> 00:47:04,799
Herb, just be happy
that she's found someone
834
00:47:04,823 --> 00:47:07,334
to love her for what she is.
835
00:47:07,358 --> 00:47:08,869
You're right.
836
00:47:08,893 --> 00:47:10,604
Daddy! Sheila!
837
00:47:10,628 --> 00:47:12,606
Honey, oh.
838
00:47:12,630 --> 00:47:14,474
This is Howard.
839
00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:17,211
Hello. Uh...
840
00:47:17,235 --> 00:47:20,369
I'd know that walk anywhere.
You're Miss America.
841
00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:25,674
Darling, you don't
need this anymore.
842
00:47:32,650 --> 00:47:35,117
All ashore who's going ashore.
843
00:47:44,328 --> 00:47:46,740
Merrill, what the
hell have you done?
844
00:47:46,764 --> 00:47:47,908
Done?
845
00:47:47,932 --> 00:47:51,366
Herb, they're
made for each other.
846
00:47:54,072 --> 00:47:57,551
Well, I'm certainly gonna miss
you guys on my one day off.
847
00:47:57,575 --> 00:47:59,019
No kidding? We're
not gonna miss you.
848
00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:01,255
Hi there. Hey. Hi.
849
00:48:01,279 --> 00:48:03,723
I'll remember this
cruise as long as I live.
850
00:48:03,747 --> 00:48:05,626
Ah, we're glad you
enjoyed yourself.
851
00:48:05,650 --> 00:48:07,761
Please, come back again.
- You bet we will.
852
00:48:07,785 --> 00:48:09,596
I can't wait to meet
my grandchildren again.
853
00:48:09,620 --> 00:48:11,165
Gopher, I'll pay
that money back.
854
00:48:11,189 --> 00:48:13,800
Every penny of it somehow.
You take your time.
855
00:48:13,824 --> 00:48:15,469
At least this way you
won't lose your house.
856
00:48:15,493 --> 00:48:17,437
But I don't wanna
lose my friends either.
857
00:48:17,461 --> 00:48:20,507
Gopher, is he still trying to
collect gambling debts from you?
858
00:48:20,531 --> 00:48:21,875
Well... Well, forget it.
859
00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:24,111
I'll pay Wendel the $5.
860
00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,114
Should we get a cab here now?
861
00:48:27,138 --> 00:48:28,138
Yes.
862
00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:30,951
Bye-bye.
863
00:48:30,975 --> 00:48:32,452
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
864
00:48:32,476 --> 00:48:33,575
Thank you.
61644
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