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♪ Love ♪
2
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:17,449
♪ Exciting and new ♪
3
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:20,352
♪ Come aboard ♪
4
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:26,203
♪ We're expecting you ♪
5
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,760
♪ And love ♪
6
00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:34,444
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
7
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,401
♪ Let it flow ♪
8
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:42,619
♪ It floats back to you ♪
9
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:46,022
♪ The Love Boat ♪
10
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:50,993
♪ Soon will be
making Another run ♪
11
00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:54,264
♪ The Love Boat ♪
12
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:58,768
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
13
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,970
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
14
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:05,229
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
15
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,514
♪ And love ♪
16
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:13,638
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
17
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:18,688
♪ It's an open smile ♪
18
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:23,025
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
19
00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:27,497
♪ It's love ♪
20
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:33,191
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
21
00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:59,162
Hello, welcome aboard.
22
00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,596
So long, rat race!
23
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:01,765
And hello, fun.
24
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:02,866
Welcome aboard, Mister...?
25
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:03,866
Flanders, Donald M.
26
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,268
What time do the
festivities start?
27
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,337
Well, as soon as we
assign you your cabin.
28
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,405
Okay. Let's see.
29
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,941
F-131. Oh, it's a lovely one.
30
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,708
Who cares? I'm never
gonna be in there anyway.
31
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:13,976
I'm here for sun and fun.
32
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,445
Can I swim now? Absolutely.
33
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,947
That's funny, 'cause
I didn't know how
34
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,171
when I left home this morning.
35
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,385
I'll bet he has a good time
once he comes out of his shell.
36
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,586
Yeah.
37
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,288
Did you guys see a dog
come on board? A dog?
38
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,923
Yeah. Security called.
39
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,558
One of their guard
dogs is missing.
40
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:29,759
I heard some barking,
41
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:31,516
but it was only
Captain Stubing. Ooh.
42
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,831
Well, they say his bark
is worse than his bite,
43
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:35,832
but I don't know.
44
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,901
He never actually bit me.
45
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,335
Well, he may.
46
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,671
He's extra testy because
his father's coming on board.
47
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,840
And I heard that he
makes our sea dog
48
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,542
seem like a pussycat.
49
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,076
Then maybe his Dad'll bite me.
50
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,479
Uh-oh, battle stations.
51
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,503
Cap.
52
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,821
Captain Merrill
Stubing, Sr., reporting.
53
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,522
Welcome aboard, sir.
How do you do, sir?
54
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,757
Father!
55
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,091
Oh, I'm sorry I
didn't get a chance
56
00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:04,361
to pipe you aboard, sir.
57
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:05,795
Glad to have you aboard, sir.
58
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,197
Anything you want, sir.
59
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:10,000
Yeoman-Purser
Smith, sir. Gopher, sir.
60
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,634
Merrill, are you going
to keep your crew
61
00:03:11,658 --> 00:03:13,570
at this fever pitch
for the entire cruise?
62
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:15,638
Well, they're only
doing their jobs, sir.
63
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:17,340
Will you all relax?
64
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,442
I'm not a captain anymore.
65
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:22,579
I'm just a passenger
here for a little vacation.
66
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,680
Now stow my gear,
ready my cabin,
67
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:27,117
and I'll meet you in your
quarters at 1300 hours!
68
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,119
Hey-yahhh!
69
00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:30,220
Yes, sir.
70
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,460
Now you know why
my first two words
71
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,828
were Mommy and:
72
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,472
Toby!
73
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:52,074
Beth! Oh, it's so
good to see you!
74
00:03:52,098 --> 00:03:54,110
You look incredible!
Oh, thank you.
75
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,578
And I love your hair.
76
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,013
Ms. Chapman and Ms. Luffner...
77
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,848
Oh, I can't believe...
Promenade Deck, 204.
78
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,516
We used to call you
Tubby Toby in college.
79
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,351
You must have lost 30
pounds since graduation!
80
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:03,386
No, 35.
81
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,921
But I can't relax for a second.
82
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,789
There are thousands
of hot-fudge sundaes
83
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:07,924
out there with my name on them.
84
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,092
I'm a banana split man myself.
85
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,193
But as I was saying...
86
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,695
Oh, how did you lose it?
- -that's 204.
87
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,196
Stillman, Atkins,
or liquid protein?
88
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:15,064
No, it's my own
diet: The Triple D.
89
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,433
Desperation, disgust, divorce.
90
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,834
You mean, you and Fred?
91
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:19,903
The marriage is phfftt?
92
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,670
Yeah, not only are
Fred and I phfftt,
93
00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:23,373
but Neal and I are:
94
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,675
Neal? Two marriages
in five years?
95
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,244
Toby!
96
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:29,012
Good old 204 and 205.
97
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:30,880
Beth! Toby!
98
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:31,904
Regina! Regina!
99
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:38,321
Tubby Toby, what
happened to you?
100
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,323
Two divorces and 35
pounds went just like that.
101
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,325
Oh, this is just like
the good old days.
102
00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:43,593
Whoever thought of this reunion
103
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,594
was a genius.
104
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,795
Oh, yes. Oh, it was your idea.
105
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:46,796
How 'bout that?
106
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:47,897
Ever tell you about the time
107
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,032
I bit a bowling ball in half?
108
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,533
Oh, we're gonna
have such a great time.
109
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,269
Well, what are we waiting for?
110
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:53,636
Well, we're waiting
for this clown
111
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,593
to give us our rooms.
112
00:04:58,565 --> 00:04:59,864
Now, let's see...
113
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,220
Wait a minute, picture.
114
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,355
Wait a minute.
115
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:13,723
Look over here.
116
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,147
Thank you.
117
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:39,082
Uh, keep it at 12
knots, Mr. Walters.
118
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,017
And call me when
we're 25 miles out.
119
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,041
Right.
120
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,020
Well, Dad, uh,
121
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,788
what do you think about
the Pacific Princess?
122
00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:46,790
Amazing.
123
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,158
Why, thank you.
124
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:51,193
Amazing that we've
been at sea 45 minutes,
125
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:53,997
and you've been on
the bridge exactly four.
126
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,098
Now, look, Dad,
127
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,600
I, uh, happen to
know what I'm doing,
128
00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:59,435
and so does my deputy captain.
129
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:00,436
As senior officer,
130
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,838
I never trusted
my ship to anyone.
131
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,809
We didn't win the big
war sittin' in our cabins.
132
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:08,011
We were right there
in the thick of battle.
133
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,680
Well, uh, it just happens
that it's been a long time
134
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,149
since a cruise ship
has been attacked
135
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,584
off the California coast.
136
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:16,874
Come in.
137
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,123
Uh, pardon me, sir.
138
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,524
Could I speak to you a moment?
139
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,525
Alone?
140
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:23,793
Oh, that's all right.
141
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,897
You can talk to me
in front of my son.
142
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:29,098
What is it, Mr. Smith?
143
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,700
Well, sir, we're
having a little problem
144
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:35,705
with the number two E-N-G-I-N-E.
145
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,642
Well, then, let's F-I-X it.
146
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,076
Dad, please.
147
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,913
You don't have to
say "please" to me.
148
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,215
It's a pleasure to help.
149
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:47,016
What kind of an
engine do you have?
150
00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:49,519
Um, a broken one.
151
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,973
Well, aren't you
a nice big doggie.
152
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,341
What are you doing on this ship?
153
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:15,878
Uh, look, now,
154
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,547
I'm just gonna take
a little swim here.
155
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,171
Hey!
156
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,262
Hello out there! Help!
157
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,641
Aren't you changed yet?
158
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:46,942
I was just reading.
159
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,944
Well, don't you professors
get enough of that stuff
160
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:49,945
in the classroom?
161
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,013
Let's go get some sunshine.
162
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:53,949
Tennyson is very
good for the soul.
163
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,818
Well, I don't need
something to help my soul,
164
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,854
I need something
to help my love life.
165
00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,055
Right.
166
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,124
Hey, let's play
Romance Roulette.
167
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,859
Oh, no. No.
168
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,161
Oh, that's a great idea!
169
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,296
Ah-ha, we've got a
whole boatload of guys
170
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,531
to play it with. Mm-hm.
171
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:11,066
Oh, no Romance
Roulette. Come on.
172
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,202
I thought we gave up
that nonsense in college.
173
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,605
Hey, what is wrong
with picking up a guy,
174
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,807
having a little fun and
then dumping him?
175
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,976
Men do it all the time. Mm-hm.
176
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,878
Look, I am not
about to make a play
177
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,146
for some total stranger
178
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,781
just because he
happens to blurt out
179
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,215
some silly word we pick.
180
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,283
We're playing the game,
181
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:28,551
and that's all there is to it.
182
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:30,820
And, Regina, you're
wearing one of my suits.
183
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,555
The only guy you
can attract in this thing
184
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,423
is Jacques Cousteau.
185
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,825
See you in the deep end.
186
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,775
Then it's settled.
187
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:54,643
The code word is "screwdriver."
188
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,512
Now, the first three guys
that come up to the bar
189
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,747
and ask for a screwdriver
190
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,148
are the ones we
try to pick up, right?
191
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,584
Right. Okay, who leads off?
192
00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:02,819
You two start.
193
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,154
No, no, let's be
democratic about this.
194
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,323
We'll go by age.
You first, Beth.
195
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,426
Oh, youngest first.
196
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,860
Ms. Wilson wants a refill.
197
00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:12,962
Orange juice and vodka.
198
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,064
Oh, orange juice and
vodka. That's my man.
199
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,767
No cheating. He has
to say screwdriver.
200
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:18,791
Okay.
201
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:24,073
Ooh, that looks delicious.
202
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,941
What is that?
203
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:28,945
It's, uh... Uh, orange
juice and vodka.
204
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:32,849
Oh. Well, isn't there
a name for that drink?
205
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,539
Yes, it's, uh...
206
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,590
Can I have a
screwdriver, please?
207
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,556
Of course.
208
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,724
That's what you call it.
209
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:42,992
A screwdriver.
210
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,450
Now you tell me. Um...
211
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,922
Haven't we met someplace before?
212
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:54,537
I don't know.
213
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,238
You ever been to Hackensack?
214
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,502
Hackensack?
215
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,010
Well, why don't we sit down,
216
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,979
and we'll talk about it. Heh.
217
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,513
Sir, your drink.
218
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:09,052
I don't mean to be forward,
but can I pick you up?
219
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,520
Can blue serge pick up lint?
220
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,155
Excuse my friend.
221
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:15,124
He's not as subtle as I.
222
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,081
Wanna see my cabin?
223
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,263
I'd like a Tom Collins.
224
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,532
Scotch and soda.
225
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,934
And I'll have that drink
with, uh, orange juice.
226
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:28,705
Uh, you know, a...
An orange blossom.
227
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:31,406
Hey, Frank, you finally
showed up to fix my sink.
228
00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:32,842
I've been busy in
the engine room.
229
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,344
Captain's father was helping me.
230
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,900
Mmm. All right,
let me have a look.
231
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:39,815
Big deal. You could
have fixed this yourself.
232
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,139
Let me have a screwdriver.
233
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,093
Allow me. I'm Regina Parker.
234
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,385
Thanks.
235
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:44,113
Okay, but do me
a favor, will ya?
236
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:46,182
Dial somebody and tell
'em there's a dog in my room.
237
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,968
Wow, Julie.
238
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,603
What a super gown.
239
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:08,604
Thank you.
240
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:09,738
You're at the, um,
241
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,240
captain's table
tonight, aren't you?
242
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,641
That's right.
243
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,043
Where is Captain Stubing?
244
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,112
Oh, he's probably
hiding from his father.
245
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,147
Unless maybe he's in disguise.
246
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,982
Gopher. I'll see you later.
247
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,126
Have a good time.
248
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,755
Captain Stubing. Aah.
249
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:27,990
Captain Stubing. Gopher.
250
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,558
If you'd have
stayed at the wheel,
251
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,294
we wouldn't be a half
a degree off course.
252
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,729
Dad, that is being
controlled by the computer.
253
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:34,897
Computer, computer.
254
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,532
There's not a computer
made that can match
255
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:37,667
the human mind.
256
00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:40,369
Do you suppose Columbus
used the computer?
257
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,405
Now, look, I'm not trying
to find the new world.
258
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,739
I just wanna get to Mexico.
259
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,741
Lay you 8-to-5
you don't make it.
260
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,445
Ah, well, good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
261
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,347
I'd like to have
you meet my father,
262
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,348
Captain Stubing, Sr.
263
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,482
How do you do? Good evening.
264
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:54,717
Nice to see you all. Excuse me.
265
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:56,452
That's the captain's chair.
266
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,453
Oh?
267
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:00,322
Dad, I'm the
captain of this ship.
268
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,892
I'm your father everywhere.
269
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,798
You should have
seen him as a little boy.
270
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:11,333
He had curls down to here.
271
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,935
So, what made you decide
272
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,403
to become a ship's doctor?
273
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,005
I always had a mission in life:
274
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,930
to heal the sick
and tend to the cute.
275
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,580
And two steaks medium rare.
276
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:27,483
And sour cream and chives
with our baked potatoes.
277
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,908
And your best bottle
of cabernet sauvignon.
278
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,044
And an extra breadstick, please.
279
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,348
Here's to you, darling.
280
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,087
Your other hand, Morton.
281
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,270
They're never gonna
believe this at the office.
282
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:49,294
Mm.
283
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:54,209
Well, yes, part of my job is
organizing social activities,
284
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,011
but I clear everything
with the captain.
285
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,581
Seems you run a
tight ship, Stubing.
286
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,049
Oh, yes. It's a
demanding job, but, uh...
287
00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:02,518
Well, as president of a bank,
288
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,487
you know that, uh,
there always has to be
289
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:07,245
just one man who
is the final authority.
290
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,081
Elbows, Merrill.
291
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,300
Ah, here's your Irish coffee.
292
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:20,168
Oh, thanks, Isaac.
293
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,237
Say, uh, how come
you're not up there
294
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:23,573
dancing with your friends?
295
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:27,176
Oh, I... I thought I'd stay
here with Lord Byron.
296
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,444
Ohhh.
297
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,579
I guess I should have
brought two Irish coffees.
298
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:31,814
Yeah.
299
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:35,584
Uh, Isaac, you know that plumber
300
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,152
that fixed your sink today?
301
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:40,289
Uh, Frank, uh... Frank Vallone?
302
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,790
That's him.
303
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:44,393
How would I, uh,
get in touch with him?
304
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,161
Oh, you're having a
plumbing problem?
305
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:47,229
Yeah.
306
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:50,165
Listen, just dial one,
double oh, seven.
307
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,600
He's on duty tonight.
308
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,068
Thanks, Isaac.
309
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:54,592
No problem.
310
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:57,849
Thank you.
311
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,398
Good morning, everyone.
312
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,333
This is the start of
another fun-filled day
313
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,134
aboard the Pacific Princess.
314
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:27,903
We hope you had a restful night.
315
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,472
Breakfast is now being served
in the Coral Dining Room,
316
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,741
and we have a full
schedule of events
317
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,433
planned to make this
an unforgettable cruise.
318
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,972
I'd need a lobotomy
to forget this one.
319
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,002
Just taking a
breath of fresh air.
320
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,379
See you later.
321
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,417
Get your own phone.
322
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:34,091
Room service.
323
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,047
Hey, Doc,
324
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:49,017
that lady Toby sure came
on to you strong yesterday.
325
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,687
Yeah, and I went to sea
to get away from all that.
326
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,292
Good morning, Captain Stubing.
327
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,126
There won't be any good mornings
328
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,029
until my father
gets off this ship.
329
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,965
The man is driving me crazy.
330
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,633
Now, look, I'm
depending on all of you
331
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,735
to keep him busy
with activities today.
332
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,559
Just get him out of my hair.
333
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,096
Don't say it.
334
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,145
Merrill, now what
are you doing here?
335
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,080
You can't run a ship
from the Lido Deck.
336
00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:20,449
Uh, yes, well, I was, uh, just
337
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,550
on my way to the bridge, sir.
338
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,084
Oh, okay, I'll...
339
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:27,456
Just my luck to find a young,
handsome Ping-Pong partner.
340
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,124
Oh, wait, I'm afraid
you don't understand.
341
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,159
I don't... It's all right.
342
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,383
I'll serve. Okay, you ready?
343
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:33,796
Oh!
344
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,598
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
345
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,900
I need to learn to
keep my eye on the ball.
346
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,634
Are you all right? I'm fine.
347
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,904
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm headed for the bridge.
348
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,672
Oh, wait.
349
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:45,507
How would you like a
free blood-pressure test?
350
00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,509
There's nothing wrong
with my blood pressure.
351
00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:48,643
Well, how 'bout some juice?
352
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:49,811
I don't want any juice.
353
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:50,812
Orange or tomato?
354
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:51,836
I don't...
355
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,650
I'm awfully sorry.
Let me get that.
356
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,352
Please, please, please. Please.
357
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,420
Does all this attention
have anything to do
358
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,222
with keeping me
away from my son?
359
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,457
Not too subtle, huh?
360
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:04,159
Well, sometimes to get
an old man's attention,
361
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:06,728
you gotta hit him
with a two-by-four.
362
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,697
Or a glass of tomato juice.
363
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:09,898
Carry on, kids.
364
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,533
I got a date with some
sea salt and soap.
365
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:12,668
Oh, I... I'll get that for you.
366
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:13,902
It's all right, it's all right.
367
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,404
You have your duties.
368
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,838
I'll find my way around.
369
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,940
Anywhere but the
bridge, correct?
370
00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:19,941
That's okay.
371
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:21,444
I'm sure that my son Merrill
372
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,079
is capable of running us aground
373
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,713
without my help.
374
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,170
Zap!
375
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,684
Well, mission accomplished, huh?
376
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:29,684
Yeah. Yeah.
377
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:30,686
Hey, you guys!
378
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:31,853
You guys, I need some help.
379
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:33,122
A passenger just called and said
380
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:35,157
he's been trapped
in his cabin all night.
381
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:36,391
Well, get a locksmith.
382
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:39,294
It won't work. We
need a dogcatcher.
383
00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:40,318
What?
384
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,932
It's that security guard dog.
385
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:44,066
He must've sneaked on board.
386
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,433
Well, what are we
gonna do about it?
387
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,903
Dogs aren't allowed on board.
388
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,842
Would you like to tell him
he's not allowed on board?
389
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:54,986
Mm-mm.
390
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,245
Okay, let's hear it.
391
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,613
You weren't at
dinner last night.
392
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,182
We haven't seen you all day.
393
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,651
Now, this plumber of yours
must be pretty hot stuff.
394
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:03,719
Yeah.
395
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,587
Come on, tell us about
the Prince of Pipes.
396
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:08,089
There is very
little to tell you.
397
00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:09,958
His name is Frank Vallone,
398
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,560
an ex-Marine from Baltimore.
399
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:14,830
Oh, he's just my
type: tall, dark, brutal.
400
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:18,200
Actually, he's not allowed to
mingle with the passengers,
401
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:19,668
and anyway, he's
been on duty, so I...
402
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,904
Oh, you mean,
nothing's happened?
403
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,072
Well, I told you.
404
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:24,673
I can't see him
because he's on call.
405
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,709
Oh, he's on call.
Well, I'll call, then.
406
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,244
Oh, no. What are you doing?
407
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:30,746
If he's a plumber,
let him plumb.
408
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,147
Look, don't worry about me.
409
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,348
I've got Lord Byron.
410
00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:34,583
Byron, oh!
411
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,285
Does Tennyson know
you're cheating on him?
412
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,653
We're playing the game, Regina.
413
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:38,654
And so are you, remember?
414
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:39,721
Uh, operator?
415
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:41,223
W-what's the number
for Maintenance?
416
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:42,612
One, double-oh, seven.
417
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,961
Mm-hm.
418
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,564
Look, you really don't
have to do this, you know.
419
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,108
We know. We know.
420
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,268
Maintenance?
421
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:56,371
Yes, this is Cabin
206, Promenade Deck.
422
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:59,730
Yeah, I dropped my
ring down the sink.
423
00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:02,311
Thanks.
424
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,712
Oh, it's just like
a romantic novel.
425
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:04,946
The Wench and the Wrench.
426
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:06,972
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
427
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,137
Stop right there, buster.
428
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:31,072
Galley's off-limits
to passengers.
429
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,240
I beg your pardon?
430
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:33,509
You heard what I said.
431
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:34,877
Now get the
barnacles off your hull
432
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:35,877
and make waves.
433
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:36,879
Trim your pipes.
434
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,680
You sound like a
beached tugboat.
435
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:39,815
I have a small mishap,
436
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,450
and I'm looking
for some sea salt
437
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:42,618
for this stain.
438
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,486
What do you know about sea salt?
439
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,522
My good woman,
there isn't a sailor alive
440
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:49,958
who don't know that sea
salt is nature's stain remover.
441
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,561
Don't tell me what sailors know.
442
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,229
I've been at sea for 40 years.
443
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,731
Well, in that case,
you should know
444
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,466
how to address a
captain when you see one.
445
00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:00,836
My Captain is
Merrill Stubing, Jr.
446
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,938
And when I see
him, I call him "sir."
447
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,906
Here's your sea salt, buster.
448
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,576
Well, I've never heard
of such insubordination.
449
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,810
Do not be surprised
450
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:11,112
if this isn't your last voyage.
451
00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:13,482
Ah, blow it out your ear.
452
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:16,452
They're casting me adrift
after this trip, anyway.
453
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:18,987
Mandatory retirement.
454
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,155
I know what you mean.
455
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:23,024
I was recently
piped ashore myself.
456
00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:24,593
How are you handling it?
457
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,328
Miss the sea? Hm.
458
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:28,097
That's a silly question.
459
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,964
Isn't it something?
460
00:21:29,988 --> 00:21:31,766
They throw us out for fish bait
461
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,435
just when we're in our prime.
462
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:34,569
Yeah.
463
00:21:34,593 --> 00:21:36,938
I don't know what's left for me,
464
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:40,342
except to go and be
a burden to my kids.
465
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:41,366
I know what you mean.
466
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,514
Powerful onions.
467
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:46,548
Got to me.
468
00:21:46,572 --> 00:21:49,317
Yeah, I understand.
469
00:21:49,341 --> 00:21:52,520
By the way, I'm P.J. Muldoon.
470
00:21:52,544 --> 00:21:53,722
But don't get any fancy ideas
471
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:54,746
about my p.j.'s.
472
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:57,393
I'm Merrill Stubing, Sr.
473
00:21:57,417 --> 00:22:00,195
But you can call me Stubby.
474
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:03,832
Funny, that's just what
I was gonna call you.
475
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,602
P.J.
476
00:22:06,626 --> 00:22:08,236
Stubby.
477
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:11,039
I'll be darned, he
does have a father.
478
00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:18,413
Uh, are you sure you dropped
your ring down the drain?
479
00:22:18,437 --> 00:22:20,248
Uh, I had the trap off.
480
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:21,917
I thought I was sure.
481
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:23,419
I-I mean, this hand was...
482
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:26,287
Was just as bare
as this... hand.
483
00:22:26,311 --> 00:22:28,123
Oh, well, here's your problem.
484
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:29,491
You're wearing one of those, uh,
485
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,059
famous Mexican jumping rings.
486
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,099
I-I'm sorry about
the false alarm.
487
00:22:37,123 --> 00:22:38,323
Oh, hey, forget it.
488
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:41,803
Well, I better shove off.
489
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,875
Hey, Byron. That's good stuff.
490
00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:48,376
You've studied Byron?
491
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,544
Well, a little.
492
00:22:49,568 --> 00:22:51,679
I used to write some stuff too.
493
00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:54,116
But, uh, when you're
scrounging for your daily pasta,
494
00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:56,485
poetry isn't exactly your
main order of business.
495
00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:59,888
I'd love to read
it. Your poetry.
496
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,123
Oh, come on.
497
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:02,925
No, Frank. I-I'm a...
498
00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:04,326
I'm a college professor.
499
00:23:04,350 --> 00:23:06,394
English literature
is my specialty.
500
00:23:06,418 --> 00:23:08,931
I... I would love to
read your poetry.
501
00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:10,165
Please?
502
00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:14,703
Well, I knock off about 10:00,
503
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:17,038
and, uh, once in a
while I go up on deck
504
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:18,407
to get some fresh air.
505
00:23:18,431 --> 00:23:22,733
Well, maybe I'll meet
you up there sometime.
506
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:24,656
Yeah, sometime.
507
00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:28,058
Who knows? It's a big ship.
508
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,540
But it's a small world.
509
00:23:32,978 --> 00:23:34,144
Bye.
510
00:23:49,362 --> 00:23:50,705
Don't worry, Mr. Flanders.
511
00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:52,174
We'll have you out
of there in no time.
512
00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:53,475
Yeah, well, hurry up!
513
00:23:53,499 --> 00:23:54,776
I'm starving to death here!
514
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,178
Listen, while the dog's
busy eating the meat,
515
00:23:57,202 --> 00:23:58,680
you make a dash for the door.
516
00:23:58,704 --> 00:24:00,682
Okay, okay.
517
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,635
Ohhhh!
518
00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:22,604
Mr. Flanders,
we'll be right back!
519
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:24,261
We're just gonna
get him some dessert!
520
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:47,819
Gin.
521
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:51,233
Got you on a double schneid.
522
00:24:51,257 --> 00:24:53,969
That's $25,000 I owe you.
523
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:55,804
I love gin.
524
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:57,338
Me too. Ha.
525
00:24:57,362 --> 00:24:58,673
Would you like another?
526
00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:00,074
One's enough.
527
00:25:00,098 --> 00:25:02,143
It's time for you to
haul it out of my galley.
528
00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:03,578
I got spuds to peel.
529
00:25:03,602 --> 00:25:05,914
Don't you have two peelers? Huh?
530
00:25:05,938 --> 00:25:08,516
Look, I should know
how to peel potatoes.
531
00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:10,340
I've commanded entire ships.
532
00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:13,922
Thank you, madam.
533
00:25:33,799 --> 00:25:35,110
Frank.
534
00:25:35,134 --> 00:25:36,266
Hi.
535
00:25:40,139 --> 00:25:42,718
I was hoping you'd
be here tonight.
536
00:25:42,742 --> 00:25:45,687
I was hoping you'd be hoping.
537
00:25:45,711 --> 00:25:48,423
Did you bring one of your poems?
538
00:25:48,447 --> 00:25:51,793
I might have one here somewhere.
539
00:25:51,817 --> 00:25:54,317
Cough it up or I'll
have to frisk you.
540
00:25:55,788 --> 00:25:56,954
I found it.
541
00:26:00,893 --> 00:26:02,259
Uh...
542
00:26:03,162 --> 00:26:04,205
You don't wanna hear this.
543
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,341
Oh, I do. I do, really.
544
00:26:06,365 --> 00:26:07,765
Uh-huh?
545
00:26:10,135 --> 00:26:12,147
By day I wrestle steel
546
00:26:12,171 --> 00:26:15,050
And engines purr
Beneath my deft wrenches
547
00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:19,487
But men are fools At
night I wrestle words
548
00:26:19,511 --> 00:26:22,624
Trying to say "I love you"
549
00:26:22,648 --> 00:26:27,228
With unfamiliar
tools That's it. It's...
550
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:28,492
It's rotten, right?
551
00:26:29,187 --> 00:26:31,132
It's beautiful.
552
00:26:31,156 --> 00:26:32,423
May I keep it?
553
00:26:33,893 --> 00:26:35,013
Yeah, sure.
554
00:26:36,128 --> 00:26:37,505
Uh, but not for free.
555
00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:39,540
A poet has to get paid,
or he isn't a legit poet.
556
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,680
Name your price.
It's yours for, uh...
557
00:26:44,704 --> 00:26:47,615
For a dance.
558
00:26:47,639 --> 00:26:50,351
What'll we do for music?
559
00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:51,655
Make our own music.
560
00:27:15,067 --> 00:27:17,946
One, two, three.
Turn, two, three.
561
00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:20,749
One, two, three.
Turn, two, three.
562
00:27:20,773 --> 00:27:23,118
Oh, Morton, I love
the way you dance.
563
00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:25,387
Where did you learn
to move that way?
564
00:27:25,411 --> 00:27:26,622
At the Y.
565
00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:28,657
Oh, kiss me. Kiss me.
566
00:27:28,681 --> 00:27:30,291
I can't wait another minute.
567
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,961
I can't believe this
is happening to me.
568
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:34,162
Kiss me, Morton.
569
00:27:34,186 --> 00:27:35,466
I'll be right with you.
570
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:39,190
Uh...
571
00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:43,071
What...?
572
00:27:43,095 --> 00:27:44,261
Oh.
573
00:27:52,638 --> 00:27:54,582
Wasn't that a wonderful movie?
574
00:27:54,606 --> 00:27:55,717
I don't know.
575
00:27:55,741 --> 00:27:57,219
It was a little too
mushy for my taste.
576
00:27:57,243 --> 00:27:59,120
People don't just
fall in love like that
577
00:27:59,144 --> 00:28:00,422
in one day.
578
00:28:00,446 --> 00:28:03,012
Yeah, you're right.
579
00:28:25,137 --> 00:28:26,803
Penny for your thoughts.
580
00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:33,188
A dollar.
581
00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:35,757
I was just thinking...
582
00:28:35,781 --> 00:28:38,593
It's amazing how things happen.
583
00:28:38,617 --> 00:28:43,097
If... If I hadn't been
fixing Isaac's sink,
584
00:28:43,121 --> 00:28:45,767
and you hadn't handed
me a screwdriver,
585
00:28:45,791 --> 00:28:47,068
we would never have met.
586
00:28:48,727 --> 00:28:50,105
Fate.
587
00:28:50,129 --> 00:28:53,008
I haven't had a crush
on a teacher in years.
588
00:28:53,032 --> 00:28:56,277
Oh, I bet you say that
to all the passengers.
589
00:28:56,301 --> 00:28:58,012
I have been on this
ship for seven years,
590
00:28:58,036 --> 00:29:02,183
and this is the
first time I've ever...
591
00:29:02,207 --> 00:29:03,540
met a passenger.
592
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,860
I, uh, should be getting
back to my cabin.
593
00:29:11,884 --> 00:29:14,851
Yeah, and I should get to work.
594
00:29:20,692 --> 00:29:23,138
Oh, the hell with my work.
595
00:29:23,162 --> 00:29:24,628
Oh, the hell with my cabin.
596
00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:29,144
Okay, believe me,
this is gonna work.
597
00:29:29,168 --> 00:29:30,778
There's enough
tranquilizer in here
598
00:29:30,802 --> 00:29:32,214
to put an elephant to sleep.
599
00:29:32,238 --> 00:29:33,581
Now, it's not gonna hurt him,
600
00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:35,050
but it'll put him out like:
601
00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:38,656
Well, if it works, I'll
try it on my father.
602
00:29:44,383 --> 00:29:46,282
This should do it, Mr. Flanders.
603
00:29:56,395 --> 00:29:57,439
Room service.
604
00:30:00,432 --> 00:30:01,710
Did he eat it yet?
605
00:30:01,734 --> 00:30:02,911
I can't tell.
606
00:30:02,935 --> 00:30:04,779
It's the best chopped
sirloin on board.
607
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:06,047
He'll eat it.
608
00:30:06,071 --> 00:30:08,471
Thanks a lot, guys!
That was delicious.
609
00:30:10,910 --> 00:30:13,110
Flanders is eating it.
610
00:30:40,605 --> 00:30:44,085
Well, you look shipshape today.
611
00:30:44,109 --> 00:30:45,786
I know, I'm shaped like a ship.
612
00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:46,955
Oh, come on.
613
00:30:46,979 --> 00:30:49,657
You're a very
attractive woman, P.J.
614
00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:51,792
You better see Doc and
get your eyes checked.
615
00:30:52,817 --> 00:30:54,061
You just don't know how to take
616
00:30:54,085 --> 00:30:55,063
a compliment, do you?
617
00:30:55,087 --> 00:30:57,332
Yes, I do. Try me.
618
00:30:57,356 --> 00:31:00,902
Well, I like your,
uh... My what?
619
00:31:00,926 --> 00:31:02,838
You didn't let me finish.
620
00:31:02,862 --> 00:31:05,207
Was it that hard for
you to think of something
621
00:31:05,231 --> 00:31:06,231
nice to say?
622
00:31:07,966 --> 00:31:09,611
I like your hairdo.
623
00:31:09,635 --> 00:31:11,947
That shows how little you know.
624
00:31:11,971 --> 00:31:13,982
The sea air makes
my hair frizzy.
625
00:31:14,006 --> 00:31:16,117
You're impossible.
626
00:31:16,141 --> 00:31:17,518
So are you.
627
00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:19,542
Hi, sir. Hi.
628
00:31:20,678 --> 00:31:21,823
Hi, P.J.
629
00:31:21,847 --> 00:31:22,957
Hi, Gopher.
630
00:31:22,981 --> 00:31:24,492
You sure look nice today.
631
00:31:24,516 --> 00:31:26,327
Thank you.
632
00:31:26,351 --> 00:31:28,696
Mmm, my favorite.
633
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,065
Oh, yeah?
634
00:31:30,089 --> 00:31:31,089
Carry on.
635
00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:33,268
Hm-hm.
636
00:31:33,292 --> 00:31:35,069
Now, you see how easy it was
637
00:31:35,093 --> 00:31:36,471
to take a compliment?
638
00:31:36,495 --> 00:31:38,439
It's different coming from him.
639
00:31:38,463 --> 00:31:39,607
Why?
640
00:31:39,631 --> 00:31:41,242
'Cause it doesn't
matter as much.
641
00:31:41,266 --> 00:31:42,546
I didn't hear you.
642
00:31:43,334 --> 00:31:45,312
You going deaf, you old buzzard?
643
00:31:45,336 --> 00:31:46,714
I said, it doesn't
matter as much
644
00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:47,982
coming from him!
645
00:31:48,006 --> 00:31:50,474
You mean it matters
more from me?
646
00:31:52,510 --> 00:31:54,189
Mm, I didn't say that.
647
00:31:54,213 --> 00:31:56,424
That's the nicest thing
you ever didn't say.
648
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:00,783
Well...
649
00:32:04,089 --> 00:32:05,800
Eh... Uh, enter.
650
00:32:05,824 --> 00:32:07,435
Mm-hm.
651
00:32:07,459 --> 00:32:08,459
Sí.
652
00:32:09,895 --> 00:32:10,895
Sí.
653
00:32:12,298 --> 00:32:15,276
Uh, muchas gracias. Adios.
654
00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:16,711
Yes?
655
00:32:16,735 --> 00:32:19,313
Sir, Mr. Flanders isn't
answering his phone.
656
00:32:19,337 --> 00:32:20,815
I think he's still sleeping.
657
00:32:20,839 --> 00:32:23,084
He's gonna be hopping
mad when he wakes up
658
00:32:23,108 --> 00:32:24,285
and we've run out of ideas
659
00:32:24,309 --> 00:32:26,254
about how to get that
dog out of his cabin.
660
00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:29,190
Well, I just spoke to
the SPCA in Mazatlán.
661
00:32:29,214 --> 00:32:30,792
They're coming aboard
tomorrow morning
662
00:32:30,816 --> 00:32:31,927
with a tranquilizer gun.
663
00:32:31,951 --> 00:32:33,861
Well, they better
have two shots.
664
00:32:33,885 --> 00:32:37,165
One for the dog and
one for Mr. Flanders.
665
00:32:37,189 --> 00:32:39,100
Sir, I'm really sorry.
666
00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:40,935
It's not your fault.
667
00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:42,270
Besides, you're
doing a great job
668
00:32:42,294 --> 00:32:43,571
of keeping my father busy.
669
00:32:43,595 --> 00:32:46,041
Oh, that wasn't
difficult. See, he's, uh...
670
00:32:46,065 --> 00:32:47,675
I don't need to
know the details.
671
00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:49,310
I'm just very pleased
672
00:32:49,334 --> 00:32:52,113
that you've got him
doing something that, well,
673
00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:53,748
gives me some peace and quiet.
674
00:32:53,772 --> 00:32:56,651
Well, it's not
exactly something.
675
00:32:56,675 --> 00:32:59,587
It's more like someone.
676
00:32:59,611 --> 00:33:01,455
Oh. You mean, he's, uh,
677
00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:03,925
found some nice elderly cronies?
678
00:33:03,949 --> 00:33:07,028
Well, it's only one crony,
679
00:33:07,052 --> 00:33:09,219
and actually, sir, it's a lady.
680
00:33:10,155 --> 00:33:12,800
Miss McCoy!
681
00:33:12,824 --> 00:33:14,970
It's a stroke of genius!
682
00:33:14,994 --> 00:33:16,871
Well, it wasn't
anything I arranged.
683
00:33:16,895 --> 00:33:19,240
They, uh, found each other.
684
00:33:19,264 --> 00:33:20,474
They did? Mm-hm.
685
00:33:20,498 --> 00:33:22,243
And I understand he's
inviting her to dinner
686
00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:23,711
at your table tonight.
687
00:33:23,735 --> 00:33:26,081
Wouldn't it be wonderful
if something permanent
688
00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:27,582
came out of all this?
689
00:33:27,606 --> 00:33:28,883
Dismissed.
690
00:33:28,907 --> 00:33:30,184
Yes, sir.
691
00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:50,204
Do you realize,
between the two of us,
692
00:33:50,228 --> 00:33:52,006
we've been married six times?
693
00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:53,441
We'll just have to keep doing it
694
00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:54,745
till we get it right.
695
00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:01,348
Mmm.
696
00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:04,018
Well, how do I look?
697
00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:05,119
Fine, sir.
698
00:34:05,143 --> 00:34:06,954
Your usual captainy self.
699
00:34:06,978 --> 00:34:07,956
Heh, heh. Why?
700
00:34:07,980 --> 00:34:09,190
Why?
701
00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:10,925
Well, I just wanna make sure
702
00:34:10,949 --> 00:34:12,126
that everything is right
703
00:34:12,150 --> 00:34:14,763
for my father and his lady.
704
00:34:14,787 --> 00:34:16,263
Well, from what I hear,
705
00:34:16,287 --> 00:34:18,099
they only have
eyes for each other.
706
00:34:18,123 --> 00:34:21,169
Don't worry, they'll
never even notice us.
707
00:34:21,193 --> 00:34:23,605
Well, just in
case they do, uh...
708
00:34:23,629 --> 00:34:26,741
elbows, Miss McCoy.
709
00:34:26,765 --> 00:34:28,031
Yes, sir.
710
00:34:29,768 --> 00:34:31,912
I've never eaten in
the dining room before.
711
00:34:31,936 --> 00:34:33,514
Is it squared with
Captain Stubing?
712
00:34:33,538 --> 00:34:34,749
P.J., my girl,
713
00:34:34,773 --> 00:34:36,951
I'm proud to have
you sailing in my fleet.
714
00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:38,586
If that son of mine
opens his yap,
715
00:34:38,610 --> 00:34:41,121
I'll set him adrift
in a lifeboat.
716
00:34:41,145 --> 00:34:42,257
Ladies and gentlemen.
717
00:34:42,281 --> 00:34:43,524
Good evening, one and all.
718
00:34:43,548 --> 00:34:47,094
I have the honor of
presenting Mrs. P.J. Muldoon.
719
00:34:47,118 --> 00:34:48,963
P.J. Muldoon?
720
00:34:48,987 --> 00:34:50,698
Get out the lifeboat.
721
00:34:50,722 --> 00:34:52,267
Howdy, all.
722
00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:53,701
How you doing, captain?
723
00:34:53,725 --> 00:34:55,270
Oh, just, uh... Just swell.
724
00:34:55,294 --> 00:34:56,271
Come, dear.
725
00:34:56,295 --> 00:34:57,672
Sit on the captain's right
726
00:34:57,696 --> 00:34:58,739
where you belong.
727
00:34:58,763 --> 00:34:59,974
That's nice.
728
00:34:59,998 --> 00:35:00,975
She's a lot of fun.
729
00:35:00,999 --> 00:35:02,877
Just listen to
everything she says.
730
00:35:02,901 --> 00:35:03,878
Hi, y'all.
731
00:35:03,902 --> 00:35:05,613
Forgive my surprise, Dad,
732
00:35:05,637 --> 00:35:08,149
but I'm used to seeing
Mrs. Muldoon below deck.
733
00:35:08,173 --> 00:35:09,617
Are you, indeed?
734
00:35:09,641 --> 00:35:13,576
The kitchen help do not
eat in the dining room.
735
00:35:15,981 --> 00:35:18,126
Very well, captain.
736
00:35:18,150 --> 00:35:20,161
Come, my dear, we
can dine in my cabin.
737
00:35:20,185 --> 00:35:21,862
It's small, but
it's not as stuffy
738
00:35:21,886 --> 00:35:22,864
as it is in here.
739
00:35:22,888 --> 00:35:23,931
Come, dear.
740
00:35:23,955 --> 00:35:25,322
Dad...
741
00:35:32,263 --> 00:35:33,641
Captain, are you all right?
742
00:35:33,665 --> 00:35:35,944
Hm? Oh.
743
00:35:35,968 --> 00:35:38,868
Yes, I'm just,
uh... I'm just fine.
744
00:35:43,074 --> 00:35:47,454
Well, tomorrow
Mazatlán, and then home.
745
00:35:47,478 --> 00:35:49,223
Pretty soon it'll be
time to give the old
746
00:35:49,247 --> 00:35:50,358
"it was great fun,
747
00:35:50,382 --> 00:35:53,928
but it was just one of
those things" speech.
748
00:35:53,952 --> 00:35:56,130
Goodbye, Doc.
749
00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:58,933
So long, Morton. Mmm.
750
00:35:58,957 --> 00:36:01,569
You know, for someone who
did not wanna get involved
751
00:36:01,593 --> 00:36:04,138
in our little game of
Romance Roulette,
752
00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:06,774
Regina certainly did get
into the swing of things.
753
00:36:06,798 --> 00:36:09,911
Yeah, I hope she finds a
way to dump the plumber
754
00:36:09,935 --> 00:36:12,346
without breaking his
heart, or his wrench,
755
00:36:12,370 --> 00:36:14,281
or whatever you
break on a plumber.
756
00:36:14,305 --> 00:36:15,917
No, Regina's got class.
757
00:36:15,941 --> 00:36:18,386
She'll find a nice, literate
way to say goodbye.
758
00:36:18,410 --> 00:36:21,856
Like, "Beat it, buster."
759
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:23,160
Let's go.
760
00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:51,852
I'm sorry I'm late.
761
00:36:51,876 --> 00:36:52,853
That's okay.
762
00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:55,856
I just wanted to
say see you around.
763
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,525
What's wrong? Nothing.
764
00:36:57,549 --> 00:36:59,026
We both had the perfect cruise.
765
00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:02,229
Fun-filled nights,
et cetera, et cetera.
766
00:37:02,253 --> 00:37:03,764
But enough's enough.
767
00:37:03,788 --> 00:37:05,800
Frank, what's the matter?
768
00:37:05,824 --> 00:37:07,468
Let me put it in a poem:
769
00:37:07,492 --> 00:37:10,571
Fun is fun But now it's done
770
00:37:10,595 --> 00:37:12,995
Stick that in your scrapbook.
771
00:37:29,514 --> 00:37:30,558
Hello, Father.
772
00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:33,194
Well, Merrill, what an
unexpected bummer.
773
00:37:33,218 --> 00:37:34,218
Come in.
774
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,899
I came to apologize.
775
00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:40,901
I'm afraid I, uh, overreacted
776
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:44,171
when you brought
your friend to my table.
777
00:37:44,195 --> 00:37:45,740
I'm sorry.
778
00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:47,375
Accepted.
779
00:37:47,399 --> 00:37:50,044
But Dad, with a whole
shipload of passengers,
780
00:37:50,068 --> 00:37:51,579
couldn't you have
picked somebody...
781
00:37:51,603 --> 00:37:52,814
More suitable?
782
00:37:52,838 --> 00:37:54,882
Well... Suitable for whom?
783
00:37:54,906 --> 00:37:55,950
I didn't go looking
784
00:37:55,974 --> 00:37:57,685
for someone to
fit into your life.
785
00:37:57,709 --> 00:38:00,021
I was looking for
someone to fit into mine.
786
00:38:00,045 --> 00:38:02,123
Now, look, I know you're lonely,
787
00:38:02,147 --> 00:38:04,225
but a cruise ship
is a funny place.
788
00:38:04,249 --> 00:38:05,626
People fall in love every night,
789
00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:07,050
and then when
they get off the ship:
790
00:38:08,019 --> 00:38:09,196
Fine.
791
00:38:09,220 --> 00:38:12,567
But that's not the case
between me and P.J.
792
00:38:12,591 --> 00:38:14,511
I've asked her to be my wife.
793
00:38:16,260 --> 00:38:17,238
I see.
794
00:38:17,262 --> 00:38:20,174
Well, aren't you happy for me?
795
00:38:20,198 --> 00:38:21,709
I'm happy for me.
796
00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:23,243
Well, sure, I'm happy for you.
797
00:38:23,267 --> 00:38:25,513
I'm happy that you've
finally found someone
798
00:38:25,537 --> 00:38:27,381
whose company you enjoy.
799
00:38:27,405 --> 00:38:28,816
But marriage?
800
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,953
Okay, Merrill. I see
where you stand.
801
00:38:31,977 --> 00:38:36,190
But I'm gonna marry P.J.
with or without your blessing.
802
00:38:39,584 --> 00:38:41,195
From now on, you
stay out of my life,
803
00:38:41,219 --> 00:38:42,919
and I'll stay out of yours.
804
00:38:44,956 --> 00:38:46,200
Go on.
805
00:38:46,224 --> 00:38:48,384
Get up on the bridge
where you belong.
806
00:38:49,127 --> 00:38:50,760
Dad...
807
00:38:57,802 --> 00:38:59,502
Dad? Dismissed!
808
00:39:11,650 --> 00:39:14,228
He's right, you know, Stubby.
809
00:39:14,252 --> 00:39:15,529
Right about what?
810
00:39:15,553 --> 00:39:17,564
About us.
811
00:39:17,588 --> 00:39:19,901
I don't fit in with your family.
812
00:39:19,925 --> 00:39:21,068
I never could.
813
00:39:21,092 --> 00:39:22,637
Who cares about my family?
814
00:39:22,661 --> 00:39:23,638
What about me?
815
00:39:23,662 --> 00:39:26,274
You're a swell guy, Stubby.
816
00:39:26,298 --> 00:39:28,342
You'll find somebody else.
817
00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:29,343
Wait.
818
00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:31,579
P.J., listen.
819
00:39:31,603 --> 00:39:33,013
P.J.!
820
00:39:43,248 --> 00:39:45,293
You're sure that that
won't hurt the dog?
821
00:39:45,317 --> 00:39:47,483
No. He'll just
have a good siesta.
822
00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:49,092
Okay.
823
00:39:49,787 --> 00:39:51,265
Okay, you ready?
824
00:39:51,289 --> 00:39:53,000
Ready. All right.
825
00:39:53,024 --> 00:39:55,858
I'll open the door,
and you shoot.
826
00:39:56,928 --> 00:39:58,572
Hey, don't shoot!
827
00:39:58,596 --> 00:39:59,574
Why not?
828
00:39:59,598 --> 00:40:01,542
It's only a tranquilizer.
829
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:03,578
Hey, come on in here.
830
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,784
Hi, guys. Oh, look!
831
00:40:10,808 --> 00:40:12,286
Nice to finally see
you face to face.
832
00:40:12,310 --> 00:40:14,021
I'd like to introduce
you to my friends here.
833
00:40:14,045 --> 00:40:15,723
Oh, look.
834
00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:18,759
This is Gopher, Doc, and Jul...
835
00:40:18,783 --> 00:40:20,761
No, wait a minute. No, stay.
836
00:40:20,785 --> 00:40:23,631
This is Doc, Julie,
Gopher and Isaac.
837
00:40:25,623 --> 00:40:27,068
Then I guess
838
00:40:27,092 --> 00:40:28,936
the little bald one
at the end is, uh...
839
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,671
Don't say it.
840
00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:48,889
All right, all right.
Take it easy.
841
00:40:48,913 --> 00:40:49,891
What's the...?
842
00:40:49,915 --> 00:40:52,093
You are a bum and a rat!
843
00:40:52,117 --> 00:40:53,394
You're a plummy crummer!
844
00:40:53,418 --> 00:40:54,395
A crummy plumber.
845
00:40:54,419 --> 00:40:55,396
He knows what I mean.
846
00:40:55,420 --> 00:40:56,597
What's bugging you two?
847
00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:58,732
You are an animal, Frank!
848
00:40:58,756 --> 00:40:59,834
The way you treated Regina.
849
00:40:59,858 --> 00:41:00,867
I mean, you broke her heart
850
00:41:00,891 --> 00:41:02,603
for no good reason!
851
00:41:02,627 --> 00:41:04,338
Big deal, I dumped her.
852
00:41:04,362 --> 00:41:06,440
I only beat her to the punch.
853
00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:09,377
Isn't that how you play
your, uh, Romance Roulette?
854
00:41:09,401 --> 00:41:10,744
Oh. Yeah.
855
00:41:10,768 --> 00:41:12,547
Yeah, I heard the two
of you up on the deck.
856
00:41:12,571 --> 00:41:13,948
Just because I'm a working stiff
857
00:41:13,972 --> 00:41:15,316
doesn't mean I can be exploited
858
00:41:15,340 --> 00:41:17,351
by some chick playing
a schoolgirl game.
859
00:41:17,375 --> 00:41:19,053
All right, all right.
860
00:41:19,077 --> 00:41:21,622
Maybe we were playing around,
861
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:24,091
but the poor kid was
dead serious, Frank.
862
00:41:24,115 --> 00:41:25,092
Right.
863
00:41:25,116 --> 00:41:26,527
Like hell she was.
864
00:41:26,551 --> 00:41:29,062
Now, will you please
leave? Will you...?
865
00:41:29,086 --> 00:41:30,932
What are you two doing here?
866
00:41:30,956 --> 00:41:31,965
We were just trying
867
00:41:31,989 --> 00:41:33,467
to straighten out
your idiot plumber.
868
00:41:33,491 --> 00:41:35,436
Well, if there's any
straightening out to be done,
869
00:41:35,460 --> 00:41:36,670
I'll do it myself.
870
00:41:36,694 --> 00:41:38,539
Now everybody out! But,
Regina, we were just...
871
00:41:38,563 --> 00:41:40,574
You heard me. Out! Beat it!
872
00:41:40,598 --> 00:41:41,764
Scram!
873
00:41:44,902 --> 00:41:47,048
Sorry about my friends.
874
00:41:47,072 --> 00:41:49,417
And I just came to say goodbye.
875
00:41:49,441 --> 00:41:52,019
So say it.
876
00:41:52,043 --> 00:41:53,320
Before I do, I-I...
877
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,789
I just wanna tell you
that the past three days
878
00:41:55,813 --> 00:41:57,859
have been the best... Good.
879
00:41:57,883 --> 00:41:59,627
Your Romance Roulette paid off.
880
00:41:59,651 --> 00:42:01,784
That's what games
are for, to have fun.
881
00:42:05,957 --> 00:42:07,267
You know about that?
882
00:42:07,291 --> 00:42:08,323
Yeah.
883
00:42:09,994 --> 00:42:13,407
Well, Frank, what
we had wasn't a game.
884
00:42:13,431 --> 00:42:14,875
Yeah, sure.
885
00:42:14,899 --> 00:42:17,378
Oh, I-I know it started
out as a game, and I'm...
886
00:42:17,402 --> 00:42:20,247
I'm sorry it did,
and I'm ashamed.
887
00:42:20,271 --> 00:42:22,015
Because somewhere
along the line, it...
888
00:42:22,039 --> 00:42:24,284
It stopped being a game.
889
00:42:24,308 --> 00:42:26,788
I meant every
word I said to you.
890
00:42:32,449 --> 00:42:34,650
Thought you came to say goodbye.
891
00:42:35,653 --> 00:42:36,819
I didn't hear you say it.
892
00:42:38,590 --> 00:42:41,335
I can't.
893
00:42:41,359 --> 00:42:42,970
I don't want to.
894
00:42:42,994 --> 00:42:45,639
I don't wanna lose you.
895
00:42:45,663 --> 00:42:47,623
I don't... You what?
896
00:42:49,234 --> 00:42:51,078
I can't put it into words.
897
00:42:51,102 --> 00:42:52,947
You're an English professor.
898
00:42:52,971 --> 00:42:55,504
Even a slob like me knows
how to say "I love you."
899
00:42:58,343 --> 00:42:59,408
I do, you know.
900
00:43:00,578 --> 00:43:02,845
Oh, Frank, I love you too!
901
00:43:06,684 --> 00:43:08,863
Oh, you see?
902
00:43:08,887 --> 00:43:10,953
Isn't the truth better
than playing games?
903
00:43:12,524 --> 00:43:13,856
Works every time.
904
00:43:16,728 --> 00:43:17,705
Even if it hadn't,
905
00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:19,773
I always could have used plan B.
906
00:43:19,797 --> 00:43:20,774
What was that?
907
00:43:20,798 --> 00:43:22,143
I was gonna hit
you over the head
908
00:43:22,167 --> 00:43:24,607
with one of your
wrenches and carry you off.
909
00:43:33,812 --> 00:43:35,790
Uh, Miss McCoy, have
you seen my father?
910
00:43:35,814 --> 00:43:37,591
He's really been
making himself scarce.
911
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:39,559
I thought that
would suit you, sir.
912
00:43:40,785 --> 00:43:42,863
I've made a mess
of this, haven't I?
913
00:43:42,887 --> 00:43:45,366
Well, Captain, because of you,
914
00:43:45,390 --> 00:43:46,733
P.J. won't see your dad.
915
00:43:46,757 --> 00:43:48,235
And the two of them
are running around
916
00:43:48,259 --> 00:43:50,504
looking like they don't
care whether they live or die.
917
00:43:50,528 --> 00:43:52,907
It's a darn shame.
918
00:43:52,931 --> 00:43:55,075
They love each other.
919
00:43:55,099 --> 00:43:58,379
They could have had a
wonderful life together, but...
920
00:44:02,073 --> 00:44:04,185
Miss McCoy, please
see that my father's
921
00:44:04,209 --> 00:44:05,519
at my table tonight for dinner.
922
00:44:05,543 --> 00:44:07,021
Sir, that may not be easy.
923
00:44:07,045 --> 00:44:08,755
I don't care if it
takes wild horses,
924
00:44:08,779 --> 00:44:10,657
please make sure he's there.
925
00:44:32,169 --> 00:44:33,146
I'm sorry.
926
00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,481
No, that's all
right. You have it.
927
00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:35,916
Uh, you're making
up for lost time.
928
00:44:35,940 --> 00:44:37,618
Actually, uh,
captain, it's not for me.
929
00:44:37,642 --> 00:44:40,162
I'm filling a doggie bag.
930
00:44:45,449 --> 00:44:47,609
Dad, is everything all right?
931
00:44:51,389 --> 00:44:52,900
Ladies and gentlemen,
932
00:44:52,924 --> 00:44:55,636
tonight is a very
special night... P.J.!
933
00:44:55,660 --> 00:44:57,137
We're here to celebrate
934
00:44:57,161 --> 00:44:59,273
the retirement after 40 years
935
00:44:59,297 --> 00:45:01,942
of a lady who has
served this ship well.
936
00:45:01,966 --> 00:45:04,145
Mrs. P.J. Muldoon.
937
00:45:04,169 --> 00:45:05,846
Thank you, captain.
938
00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:07,815
What's all this "lady" stuff?
939
00:45:07,839 --> 00:45:09,883
I said lady.
940
00:45:09,907 --> 00:45:13,788
A lady who has devoted
her life to the sea.
941
00:45:13,812 --> 00:45:16,991
A lady who, in her
own selfless way,
942
00:45:17,015 --> 00:45:18,492
on the day of her retirement,
943
00:45:18,516 --> 00:45:21,495
has consented to take
on an even bigger burden,
944
00:45:21,519 --> 00:45:25,466
by agreeing to
become my stepmother.
945
00:45:25,490 --> 00:45:26,933
Okay with you?
946
00:45:26,957 --> 00:45:29,170
You know it, baby. Ha!
947
00:45:29,194 --> 00:45:32,807
A toast to Captain
Merrill Stubing, Sr.,
948
00:45:32,831 --> 00:45:34,942
and his P.J.
949
00:45:34,966 --> 00:45:36,510
Many happy years.
950
00:45:36,534 --> 00:45:39,346
This doesn't mean you're
gonna call me Mom, does it?
951
00:45:39,370 --> 00:45:41,748
Mm. I wouldn't do that, Ma.
952
00:45:41,772 --> 00:45:43,217
Here, here, here, here.
953
00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:44,551
Steady, steady.
954
00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:46,753
He always was very
affectionate. Oh, I like the family.
955
00:45:46,777 --> 00:45:48,088
Oh, I wish you all the best.
956
00:45:48,112 --> 00:45:49,956
Charming boy when
you get to know him.
957
00:45:49,980 --> 00:45:51,791
He's a lot of fun.
958
00:45:59,457 --> 00:46:01,235
I guess this is goodbye.
959
00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:04,238
So the secret word
was screwdriver?
960
00:46:04,262 --> 00:46:05,606
I wonder what
would have happened
961
00:46:05,630 --> 00:46:07,390
if I'd asked for a
Harvey Wallbanger.
962
00:46:12,837 --> 00:46:13,969
Beth, Beth, Beth.
963
00:46:17,141 --> 00:46:19,352
Oh, Morton, I just
love you so much.
964
00:46:19,376 --> 00:46:21,855
I just can't take
my hands off you.
965
00:46:21,879 --> 00:46:24,558
I don't believe this
is happening to me.
966
00:46:24,582 --> 00:46:26,727
Just take the bags, huh?
967
00:46:26,751 --> 00:46:27,950
And move it.
968
00:46:30,688 --> 00:46:32,622
You'll write?
969
00:46:34,392 --> 00:46:36,203
I'll write you every other day.
970
00:46:36,227 --> 00:46:37,203
No, no, no, no, no.
971
00:46:37,227 --> 00:46:38,572
You write a poem
every other day,
972
00:46:38,596 --> 00:46:40,173
you write me every day.
973
00:46:40,197 --> 00:46:41,197
Okay.
974
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,545
Oh, uh, by the way, I,
uh, took another look
975
00:46:44,569 --> 00:46:46,747
at your drain this morning
while you were at breakfast,
976
00:46:46,771 --> 00:46:47,936
and I found your ring.
977
00:46:50,441 --> 00:46:53,020
Oh, no, no. No, no.
That's an engagement ring.
978
00:46:53,044 --> 00:46:55,524
That's not mine.
979
00:46:56,046 --> 00:46:57,312
Well, it is now.
980
00:46:58,215 --> 00:46:59,215
If you'll accept it.
981
00:47:02,186 --> 00:47:03,619
Oh, Frank.
982
00:47:08,526 --> 00:47:14,575
Oh.
983
00:47:27,812 --> 00:47:28,789
Here we go.
984
00:47:28,813 --> 00:47:30,457
Hey-hey.
985
00:47:30,481 --> 00:47:32,125
Goodbye, Captain Stubing, sir.
986
00:47:32,149 --> 00:47:33,794
You've certainly
been the hit of this trip.
987
00:47:33,818 --> 00:47:34,895
Well, thank you, my dear.
988
00:47:34,919 --> 00:47:36,129
That's sweet of you to say so.
989
00:47:36,153 --> 00:47:39,232
And Isaac, you mix
a mean tomato juice.
990
00:47:39,256 --> 00:47:40,934
Maybe next trip I can drink it,
991
00:47:40,958 --> 00:47:41,958
not wear it.
992
00:47:43,093 --> 00:47:45,639
All the best to you, sir.
Thank you, thank you.
993
00:47:45,663 --> 00:47:48,075
The ship won't be the
same without you, P.J.
994
00:47:48,099 --> 00:47:49,610
Oh, stow it, Gopher.
995
00:47:49,634 --> 00:47:51,594
You wanna make
me blubber like a kid?
996
00:47:53,070 --> 00:47:54,715
She's something.
Is she something?
997
00:47:54,739 --> 00:47:56,149
Well, goodbye all, and thanks!
998
00:47:56,173 --> 00:47:57,685
- Goodbye, everybody.
- Bye, P.J.
999
00:47:57,709 --> 00:47:58,752
Now, listen, you two.
1000
00:47:58,776 --> 00:48:00,286
Listen, don't... You
keep in touch, now.
1001
00:48:00,310 --> 00:48:01,288
Don't be strangers.
1002
00:48:01,312 --> 00:48:02,923
Oh, didn't P.J. tell you?
1003
00:48:02,947 --> 00:48:05,426
We're planning to get
ourselves a little tug together,
1004
00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:07,695
drop anchor right
here in San Pedro.
1005
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:09,296
And you know, if
you run into trouble
1006
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,198
trying to dock the
ship or whatnot,
1007
00:48:11,222 --> 00:48:12,433
I'll be there to help.
1008
00:48:12,457 --> 00:48:13,834
Just get on the radio.
1009
00:48:13,858 --> 00:48:15,902
Oh, uh...
1010
00:48:15,926 --> 00:48:18,972
Well, uh, do you know
what frequency we work on?
1011
00:48:18,996 --> 00:48:21,709
Uh... no.
1012
00:48:21,733 --> 00:48:23,711
Fine. Let's keep it that way.
1013
00:48:24,969 --> 00:48:27,381
Funny! Ha, ha, ha!
1014
00:48:27,405 --> 00:48:28,915
Oh, Mr. Flanders,
1015
00:48:28,939 --> 00:48:30,517
I wanna thank you
for being so nice
1016
00:48:30,541 --> 00:48:31,985
and for putting
up with everything.
1017
00:48:32,009 --> 00:48:33,920
Well, actually, it
wasn't a bad vacation.
1018
00:48:33,944 --> 00:48:36,256
I got a lot of sleep
and I lost 13 pounds.
1019
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:37,524
Well, sir, we're gonna give you
1020
00:48:37,548 --> 00:48:39,126
a lot better vacation than that.
1021
00:48:39,150 --> 00:48:40,894
That's a free ticket on a cruise
1022
00:48:40,918 --> 00:48:42,729
any time you want,
compliments of the line.
1023
00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:43,730
Thanks.
1024
00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,732
But next time,
remember our rule:
1025
00:48:45,756 --> 00:48:47,067
no pets.
1026
00:48:47,091 --> 00:48:49,425
Right. Come on, Mother.
69721
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