Original subtitles

Jejune, change your tune!

Jejune, change your tune!

Fredwynn?

Fredwynn?

Fredwynn?

Fredwynn, where are you?

Fredwy--

-Go! -I'm pedaling! Go!

Why is Fredwynn in Octavio's trunk again?

Out of the way! I don't know.

He's obsessed all day long, playing the game.

He never even smiled.

He just kept muttering about "the truth."

-I've done so much biking today. -Yeah.

Janice, we could walk if you're tired.

Peter, I'm fine.

I'm old, I'm not dead.

-Attagirl, Janice! -And you, too!

-Don't say anything. Just pedal. -Yes, ma'am.

Ah, Janice.

So much spirit, so much life force,

so much determination.

And yet I sense a hint of fear,

of desperation behind those glasses.

Perhaps some of you are thinking, "You've misled me, Octavio.

In our previous two chapters, you tried in vain to convince me

that Peter and Simone were my surrogates,

and all the while, I struggled to make a personal connection."

Well, dear viewer, our entertainment has something for everyone,

I assure you.

So, perhaps the time has come to consider that Janice is you.

Tonight's entertainment will be an adventure,

a quest to rescue a partner held hostage,

a quest to procure a clue from the clutches of the enemy,

and perhaps the beginning of a quest to answer the question, "Who am I?"

But first, to frame our story and create emotional stakes,

you must know a bit about Janice -

her history, her current dilemma.

As you know, my goal, as always,

is to value and respect your time.

And as such, I will now impart the necessary knowledge

in a concise but emotionally resonant way.

You like cartoons, don't you?

Everyone likes cartoons.

Oh, stop waving! Put your hand on the bike.

-Lev, we're gonna fall. -We got this.

I'm right here. If we go down, we go down together.

This is so stupid.

-Well, it was your idea. -It doesn't make it any less stupid.

We should have practiced.

God, I hope this isn't a reflection of our compatibility,

because right now we have zero percent bike sync.

Let's imagine, friends, that Janice is you.

Janice is you if, years ago,

you found exactly what you were looking for,

or as anyone with real time under their belt would admit,

nothing close to "exactly,"

but lovely, nonetheless.

Janice is you if, despite your fears,

you dedicated yourself to a journey

traveling side by side with another.

Janice is you if your partnership was strong enough

to endure anger and betrayal...

-I don't ever want to see you again! -Janice, I'm sorry.

...loyalty and commitment

overcoming all that stood in its path.

Janice is you when life brought the greatest of gifts,

and with it, a new partnership,

one from which there was no looking back.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Janice is you

when a role you thought would last forever changed.

A natural progression, of course,

but painful, nonetheless.

Janice is you if, despite the ups and downs,

twists and turns of life, one thing remained constant.

For better and for worse - almost always for better -

you didn't have to do life alone.

Janice is you if, after years of building a life,

an identity, a family...

Lev? Somebody help! Somebody help me!

...through sickness and in health,

from births to graduations,

life swooped in with its harshest of reminders.

Lev.

Lev, I'm afraid.

We're gonna fall.

Please, I don't want to do this alone.

Nothing lasts forever.

So, my friends, I think now you know Janice.

Squint your eyes, and Janice is you.

Janice is you if suddenly you realized

that the identity you had spent a lifetime to build

was suddenly ripped away.

A partner without a partner,

forced to answer the hardest question of all -

"What am I supposed to do now?"

Don't let them get away! Don't let them get away!

Don't let them get away!

I mean, what if Fredwynn was actually onto something?

-More like on something. -What if the game really is evil?

I mean, he could be in danger!

-OK, hurry. Hurry. Hurry. -Janice...

-I'll take care of this. -Fredwynn!

Fredwynn! Fredwynn!

I'm coming! Fredwynn!

Oh, boy!

-Janice! -Oh, boy!

-Oh, boy! -Janice!

Fredwynn!

-Are you OK? Are you all right? -Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.

That was a very enthusiastic attempt.

Maybe we should just relax, because we don't want to overdo it.

Fredwynn could overheat in there. Don't you watch the news?

He could overheat. You want Fredwynn to overheat?

-I don't want him to overheat. -We're gonna call him.

-I'll call him. -That's a good idea.

We should have called him long ago.

-Straight to voicemail. -Straight to voicemail?

What are we gonna do? This is bad. OK, hold on, hold on.

Let's...

Let's do what Fredwynn would do.

-I don't want to do that. -Yes, you do.

Come on. We're gonna... infiltrate.

Come on. Infiltrate.

Come on! Come on!

We have to get into that garage!

-Hard to know how to feel about him. -True of every good villain.

-Yeah, he made me cry. -He did?

Yes. He had me fooled, but then the Elsewhere Society... Never mind.

This is what I think we should do.

We go in there, find somebody,

tell them we need to get into the parking structure,

but we lost our clicker-dooly-wad thing.

Sounds good. You want to take the lead?

Oh, no. I've done enough.

I think one of you two ought to do it.

You're much better at this than I am.

OK. I think that's smart. We'll take the lead.

He looks horny and gullible.

Target acquired.

-It's that easy, huh? -You have no idea.

Can I help you?

Hi.

-I'm Janice. -Hi.

How are you?

I'm fine. Are you here for the shareholders presentation?

I am... not.

I am not.

Look...

I need to get into the garage.

I'm sorry, the garage is off limits unless you have a badge.

I don't have a badge...

-I see that. -...on me.

I don't have a badge on me.

It's in my purse.

-My other purse. -And where is your other purse?

In the garage.

So, you see, we have a bit of a Catch-22 situation here.

I don't know that expression.

That's when one thing can't happen without another thing happening,

and that can't happen without the first happening.

It's from a book. Read it. It's wonderful.

If you're here for the presentation, I can offer a jacket.

Otherwise, I have to ask you to leave.

OK, fine. I'll leave.

OK, fantastic.

Why aren't you leaving?

My car's in the garage.

With my purse.

Garage, yeah.

Oh, it's this way. Good. Thank you.

It's this way.

Come on.

I found him! I found him!

Fredwynn!

Fredwynn, I'm here!

I'm here, Fredwynn!

Fredwynn? Fredwynn?

-I got this, ladies. -Talk to me.

-Nope. OK. -Pop it.

-Yes! -He's not dead. He's not there.

Holy moly, Janice. You can't just go straight to "dead."

I know. I'm sorry. I was afraid, but he's not dead, thank God.

Not to be too technical, but we don't know if he's dead.

We just know he's not dead in this trunk.

Hey! It's been 20 minutes.

He's probably not dead, but he could be.

-He's either dead or not dead. -Why?

One of those two.

Here he comes.

-What do you mean, "Uh-oh"? -He sees us.

Oh, it's my phone.

-It's Fredwynn! -Yes.

Hello!

-He's fine. -Hello?

Janice, don't talk. Just listen.

I'm safe now, but I was right.

This goes deeper than we ever imagined.

Octavio, he has the answers.

There's an envelope in his pocket. You've got to get that envelope.

What? Fredwynn?

Fredwynn? Fredwynn?

-Peter. Simone. -Hello? Hello?

Janice.

Please see to my snack, good people.

Leave me for a moment. I'll be fine.

Janice.

I suppose you must be conflicted to be standing with the evil Octavio.

It's hard to know what to believe.

I, for one, am not a fan of the democratization of voice.

People shouting anything they like into the ether,

all hiding behind the cloak of anonymity.

Right. You mean Commander 14.

-Indeed. -Yeah.

"Commander of what?" I ask. The Elsewhere Society?

A naive band of idealists who have no real experience of life.

Incidentally,

I'm curious to know what happened to the previous 13 commanders.

I'm sorry. That was clever.

It's a new world, indeed.

One whose rules seem to change from moment to moment.

For an old man like myself...

there are moments I feel...

overwhelmed at the prospect of learning life anew.

Wouldn't you agree, Janice?

I'm not sure.

OK.

Look, maybe you can clarify

exactly what is going on here.

Because this thing floats in and out of levels of bizarritude,

most of which I dig, but there's an undercurrent of creepy

that I can't quite put my finger on.

I appreciate your candor.

Thank you.

What you're really asking is--

Is this real?

"Is this real?"

That question has plagued man since the birth of abstract thought.

Here we are, you and I, Peter.

I would argue

that this moment between us is more real than anything else.

Would you agree?

I don't know.

-Your egg, sir. -Oh, thank you.

Excuse me.

Is that a hard-boiled egg with a packet of sugar?

-Two minutes, sir. -Ah, thank you.

Excuse me. I have to go and prepare.

We can speak more after the presentation.

Mr. Coleman.

It's freezing in here!

Am I crazy, or is it freezing in here?

It is freezing in here, and I am frozen solid.

Here, you can take my jacket, Janice.

Oh, no, no, no, Peter. Then you'd be cold.

No.

Oh, Mr. Coleman, you look like a good, old-fashioned gentleman.

Could I borrow your jacket while you eat your snack?

My husband always gives me his,

but he's not here, and I am frozen solid.

-You're right, Janice. It is cold. -Yes.

Now, you see, I requested backstage be kept at a crisp 64 degrees

to counteract the heat of the stage lights.

Your teammates can stay,

but I think that you'd prefer the climate in the house seats,

and they provide jackets for all participants.

Oh, no. I'm fine now. I'm fine.

I think you'd prefer a seat and a jacket.

I'm quite certain.

No, I really don't want to be alone.

I understand.

-Sir, we'll go out there with her. -Well, it's kind of cool back here.

-Simone... -You two, stay.

-Janice. -Yes?

I have total faith in you.

Good people.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

Thank you.

Here? OK, I can't--

-You need this for the presentation. -OK. I have to move in.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Hello. My seat's in there.

I'm moving in. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Pardon me.

Oh, I'm so sorry! That was your foot. I'm so sorry.

For goodness sakes. OK, hold on.

I'm just about there. OK.

Hi. How are you?

Gee, isn't this fun?

OK.

I'm just gonna sit down here.

Didn't get a program but that's OK.

OK.

Why is there a fire extinguisher under my chair?

Maybe there's some pyrotechnics in store.

Is anyone else really high?

Good afternoon, and welcome to all our Jejune shareholders,

both new and old.

Across the globe,

our Jejune family is gathering at many such events,

but the origins of the Jejune Institute are right here.

It all began in 1962,

when a small group of academics came together

around a common interest

in the advancement of socio-reengineering.

During the 1960s,

the Society was a closely knit forum

for experimental research techniques

utilized to expand interpersonal trust

among fellow human subjects.

Under the leadership of luminary metaphysicist

Octavio Coleman, Esq.,

the institute gained a wide influence and prestige

for which it is now renowned.

Early on, Coleman recognized the great transformative power

of The Jejune Method.

Through his unique intelligence and charisma,

the organization was transformed

into an international juggernaut,

a field of human potential.

While Coleman helped spearhead the still-nascent movement

of personal growth and self-help in the 1970s,

what the Jejune Institute is most celebrated for today

are the many advanced technological products

and services that they have brought to the international marketplace,

all of which have been designed to actualize the latent,

untapped abilities of the human species.

These developments include the Memory to Media Center,

where moving images can be rendered

and recorded from your active memory.

The Time Camera.

Using a heavy quartz lens,

this radionic camera allows the photographer

to produce trans-time images of the near-distant past.

The Aqua Thought Foundation,

our research center dedicated to the exploration

of human-dolphin interaction.

These miraculous products are all part of the global vision

to which Octavio Coleman has dedicated his life.

And now, to present this year's technological marvel,

our founder, Octavio Coleman, Esq.

Hello, my friends.

And welcome. How are you all doing?

Great!

Welcome to the Shareholders Meeting.

Now, we had a big opening planned for you.

You know, pyrotechnics and dancing camels.

Then I thought, "Instead,

I'm gonna give you back 20 minutes of your life."

Yeah, truly.

Can we do something about the lights? I want to be able to see your faces.

Oh, great, Jenny. Thank you very much.

Now, what is our greatest fear?

Truly.

Deep down in our core.

I'll tell you what it is for me.

To forget who I am.

My darkest fear is to find myself gazing in a mirror

and not recognizing the man looking back at me,

to know that the person behind those eyes

is no longer the "me" that I once knew.

Science has determined that we only remember an event once.

Did you know that?

Now, the next time we recall that event,

we are, in fact, recalling the memory of that event.

And the time after that,

we are remembering the memory of the memory.

And on and on and on, until...

until the end of our lives,

like some sick game of telephone,

so that the most important memories of our lives

become mere shadows,

watered down and distorted by the warped lens of time,

until we find ourselves standing,

alone, wondering...

"Where did I go?

What have I become?

Who am I?

Who am I?

Who am I?

Who am I?

Can I even remember anymore?"

Well...

no more, my friends.

No more.

Clara has an answer.

Thanks to the extraordinary mind of this amazing young woman,

we will never forget who we are ever again.

Now, I need a volunteer

for the demonstration.

Oh, great show of hands!

Who am I gonna choose?

Let me see.

Let me see, let me see. And...

Pick me.

Janice, I was hoping it would be you!

Ladies and gentlemen, a big round of applause!

Go, Janice!

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome the intrepid Janice.

Hello.

Do you think she'll be OK?

No idea.

Oh, my God.

This must be what parents feel like all the time,

because all I'm thinking is, "Don't embarrass me, please."

I'm going to ask you straight away, Janice.

Tell me, what was it that made you pull the tab on that flyer

which has led you to this moment now?

What were you in search of?

Well, I... I don't know.

I guess I've been trying to explore new things,

and I saw the flyer about a Gravity-Free Dance Salon.

I didn't know what it was, so I thought I'd try it.

I apologize for the subterfuge.

Perhaps today I may be able to lift your feet off the ground, after all.

Well, I hope you buy me a drink first.

That was funny.

Janice, have you ever experienced virtual reality?

Virtual...

Well, Lev and I - my husband - we accidentally took Quaaludes once

in the '80s at one of his work parties.

That was interesting.

Well, that was a happy accident.

But what I am about to show you,

and by proxy, our shareholders,

is an iteration of an invention by Clara,

shortly before she disappeared,

which she called "The I.D.E.A.,"

and believed would change the world.

And I'm very proud that the Jejune Institute

is the chief funder of this precise prototype,

which we hope to bring to the market in the foreseeable future.

Now, instead of me telling you about it,

let actions speak louder than words.

OK.

All right, well, just wait a second.

-Oh, dear. -Now, just stay calm.

OK.

And if you feel bad, just raise your hand.

Now, Janice, I can't help noticing

that your online presence is filled with photos and events,

and none has more content than one particular day.

Would you please share with the audience

what that day is, please?

My online... You mean my Facebook page my son made for me?

What, are you... Are you talking about my wedding day?

He even made me a DVD of our album

so I could watch the photos on TV.

A day that you hope never to forget. A day that changed your life forever.

Well, what if I told you that you could throw that DVD aside,

and instead of watching it, you could live it?

-This is... -Remarkable.

...so real.

Explore. Be brave, Janice.

Rebecca, I'm telling you right now, walk away from Martin. He's a pig.

Hi!

Your dress is gorgeous.

This is much weirder than the Quaaludes party was.

So many friends.

We had so many friends.

Oh, and they all brought gifts.

I don't even remember the gifts.

I hardly remember the people.

My dad!

Hey, Pop.

You get to relive your past.

That's my worst fricking nightmare.

Yeah. I mean, me, too.

But maybe for people with happy memories.

What day would you choose?

I think they need pictures, and I don't have any.

There he is.

There's my guy.

You were so damned handsome.

You still are, my friend. You still are.

-Octavio? -I'm here, Janice. I'm here.

Where am I?

You... You're here.

No, I don't mean me. I mean...

I mean, the wedding me.

I don't understand.

I know, but you will. I'm going to give you some privacy.

When I leave you,

I want you to take three steps back

and then look to your right.

The screen is off.

Your experiences are now your own.

Get to know yourself again, Janice. We'll be here when you're finished.

One, two, three.

It's me.

What would you say to your younger self if you had the chance?

What would your younger self say to you?

Be brave, Janice.

Let your mind be free.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, this is strange.

Do you remember me?

I...

I don't think about you,

who I used to be.

Today is a good day.

Today's a very good day.

Oh, no. Where's the engagement ring?

It kept snagging on everything, so I put it in my underwear drawer.

It's in a box. Don't worry. It's safe.

Lev is a good man.

Lev is a wonderful man.

-He's my best friend. -Well, I've got good news.

He stays that way.

Don't get me wrong.

There are some years when he's your worst enemy.

He breaks your heart once.

But he helps you put it back together again.

And then you get to lord it over him whenever you want,

which is a great thing to have in your back pocket.

Can I ask you a question?

Are you happy?

I guess what I mean is...

when I'm older...

am I happy?

Yes.

-You're happy, yeah. -Oh, good.

And do I do any of the things I'm thinking about?

Do I become an English teacher

or a child psychologist?

Do I even finish college?

Well, no.

Nothing?

What do I do?

Do I at least keep my promise?

What promise?

You...

You said that no matter how much love we had, Lev and I...

that you would never forget how much you liked to be alone.

Right? To take long drives into the desert for no reason.

To take ourselves on dates.

And to tell Lev everything important,

but to keep a few secrets for ourselves.

Yes.

To flirt without fear.

Well...

I did a few of those things for a while.

Then...

I started doing most of them with Lev, and, oh...

we had a wonderful time.

Oh, I become...

-Never mind. -What? What?

No, it's nothing.

I'm sure you did the best you could.

What does that mean?

Well...

I guess...

I cave.

I become a coward.

What?

No!

No, you become a wife and a mother!

You do everything you're supposed to do!

Like what? Like fulfilling promises to everyone but myself? What is that?

No, that's not it. That's not it, no.

When was the last time you did something, anything,

because you wanted to?

-I'm doing this now! -Before that.

When was the last time you stepped out of your safe place?

Marriage is not a safe place. It's a constant adventure.

Bullshit.

Don't you dare speak to me like that!

Don't speak to me like that! You're not my mother!

No, I'm you, with some real life behind me,

with scars from walking side by side with someone for all these years,

which is a hell of a lot harder

than driving off into the desert for no reason.

Driving away is easy. Staying is hard.

Staying when skin wrinkles and money gets tight,

when children grow up and move away, when people get sick.

Don't tell me I broke my promise.

I didn't forget.

I changed. I grew up.

And thank God - thank God I did!

Thank God!

You don't even know how to play a DVD by yourself.

What?

What are you talk--

How do you even know that?

You have to push the "source" button.

I know what button to push! I can never find the "source" button.

The picture of the square with the tiny arrow!

I don't understand any of this. I don't understand.

I know you don't, and I'm embarrassed to be you!

Sorry.

That wasn't nice.

If you would have just listened to me,

we wouldn't be in this mess.

I'm not in a mess!

You put it all on someone else your whole life, and now what?

I'm figuring it out.

By running around with a bunch of hipsters

who roll their eyes at you when you're not looking?

No! No, they think I'm doing a good job!

They're just trying to be nice.

They think you're a fool.

-No! No! -And so do I.

No! No! No!

No!

-I really don't like this. -She's fine.

It's a trick. It's like the clip movie in the clubhouse, remember?

Yeah, I remember.

-No! No! -Sorry.

No! That's not true!

I'm not listening to you! You're not real!

You're not real! I'm not listening to you!

Ladies and gentlemen, Janice.

A round of applause!

Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Do you see?

Do you see what Clara is capable of?

It is only with the help of the Jejune Institute

and our vast resources

that Clara's full potential can be truly realized.

Therefore, my friends--

Jejune, change your tune!

Fear not.

This is the Elsewhere Society.

I'm Commander 14.

Holy shit.

We are here to wake you from his spell.

Everybody, remain calm.

Do not be blind to the evil that stands before you!

Clara must be free to spread her beauty

without the corruption of the Jejune Institute's nefarious intentions.

Fear not, my friends.

I provided everything to protect yourselves.

Check underneath your seats.

Long live Octavio!

And long live the Jejune Institute!

I need some air!

-I need some air! -Come on. Come on.

Simone!

I just need to catch my breath. Just need to catch my breath.

Are you all right? What did they show you up there?

Nothing. I saw nothing.

Can I help you? Can I do anything?

-Peter, I'm fine! -OK. I'm sorry.

I don't need yours or anyone's help.

-Sorry. -Shit! It's locked!

What about Fredwynn?

It's all inside. He's still in the game.

Did we just lose?

Nope.

I told you, there's no winning, there's no losing.

This whole game, it's a distraction.

-Fredwynn! I'm so glad to see you! -Fredwynn, what happened?

-Where have you been? -Are you OK?

It was right under us this whole time.

What?

The Jejune Institute, the Elsewhere Society are not rivals.

They're the same.

They're just trying to befuddle us with fun and games.

Makes you feel like you have freedom, but you're on rails. Even now.

Even now, we are on rails.

What does that mean? We're in an alley.

Open your eyes, Peter! All of you!

Look, even this brick.

It comes right up.

-Under it, there's a dog whistle. -He's got the whistle.

-Look. -Cool.

-What does he do with it? -It's for the blue bus.

What blue bus?

And there's a saffron bus, too, if you chose Jejune,

but they both end up at the same place... eventually.

This is crazy.

No, that's nothing. Look up.

But try not to get a paper cut.

Because a thousand flyers are falling from the sky

announcing Jejune's next event.

How are you doing this?

Because I got tonight's script.

The key is here, and I know it.

I suggest we adjourn to the diner immediately--

Fredwynn, I'm sorry. I've got to go home.

It's late. I just need to go. It's been a long day.

Yeah, we should call it quits.

How about we meet at the diner tomorrow night at 7:00?

Are y'all hearing me?

This is important!

Tomorrow is a whole day away!

Some of us have had a really rough night.

Some of us?

Like me. Would you like to know what I've been going through?

Fredwynn, can we just not do this right now, please?

OK.

OK.

Fine.

This gives me time to process this, anyway.

I'll come back with a coherent plan of attack.

If Janice needs rest, Janice needs rest.

Well, thank you very much. Yes, the elderly do need their rest.

So I'll see you all tomorrow.

And, by the way... I think you asked for this.

From Octavio's jacket.

You're welcome.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now, if it's OK with all of you...

the little old woman is just gonna wobble her way home.

Janice...

Bye.

Lev?

I'm back.

Oh, my goodness, what a day.

First we rode on this big round bicycle contraption,

and then they hooked me up onto this virtual reality thing.

I'm not kidding you.

You were there.

Well, you weren't there,

but I saw you.

It's so good to be home.

-Hi, Meredith. -Hi.

Thank you so much for staying late.

-How's he doing? -He had a good day, Mrs. Foster.

I'm glad you could get out of the house.

You need to do that more often.

I didn't know I'd be out of the house for so long.

This game, it's crazy.

But you're liking it.

It's an adventure, that's for sure.

Mr. Foster would be happy for you.

Good night. See you tomorrow.

Oh, my feet.

My feet.

I missed you.

I couldn't wait to get home

and tell you about everything that happened today.

Oh, I wish you'd been with me.

What am I talking about?

You would have hated every minute of it.

The whole thing is completely bizarre.

And my teammates are all...

very...

unique people.

They're nice to me, but they treat me like I'm totally incompetent.

Like, what, I haven't been alive on this planet for the last 70 years?

They don't understand about time.

But they will.