Original subtitles

On an outer-space adventure

They got hit by cosmic rays

And the four were changed forever

In some most fantastic ways

No need to fear, they're here

Just call the Four

Fantastic Four

- Don't need no more! - That's ungrammatical!

Reed Richards is elastic

Sue can fade from sight

Johnny is the Human Torch

The Thing just loves to fight

Call the Four

Fantastic Four

Fantastic Four

When we last left the Fantastic Four,

a mysterious enemy named Dr Doom had kidnapped Sue.

And trapping Reed, Johnny and the Thing

in an amazing energy rope net,

carried them off to his castle deep in the Black Forest.

Putting Reed, Johnny and the Thing into escape-proof confinements,

Dr Doom announced he had a mission when the blizzard cleared.

But Reed told Sue to keep Doom talking as long as possible

to give them time to break free and rescue her.

And my story begins many years ago

in a gypsy camp not far from the vineyards below this castle.

My father, Rudolph,

was a most important man, a respected healer.

But there was nothing miraculous about his cures.

Ancient knowledge passed down through the generations.

On many occasions he saved children who lay ill with dreaded fevers.

The gratitude in their eyes, the only reward he sought.

But the simple people of the village

believed he was a miracle worker, a sorcerer.

While some revered him, others saw him as a target,

a golden goose whose feathers they could pluck.

They saw their opportunity.

They were sure my father had no chance.

With such arrogant confidence,

the villains' cruelty was without bounds.

But they did not know what kind of man they'd chosen that night.

They planned to waylay him on the road to Robeck,

believing the violent storm would hide their crime.

Theirjust deserts awaited them like a serpent in the night.

My father's scientific skills had powerful manifestations.

The robot spider served him well.

As did another brilliant innovation in self-protective science.

An illuminated buckle which produced a blinding flash.

The superstitious fools!

Reed, Johnny and the Thing escaped and set off to find her

in the diabolical maze of passageways leading into the castle.

One of these passageways must lead to the main castle.

One for the money,

two for the show,

we've gotta save Susie,

now which way do we go?

That icy wind is from the storm outside.

It's strongest from the left.

From the glimpse I caught of the castle's juxtaposition

with the mountain face, I deduce...

Yeah, yeah. You said left, we're going left.

And now back to "The Fantastic Four" and "The Mask of Doom".

If we wait for you to stop yapping, we'll be on Medicare.

And so far, this looks pretty good.

Intruders, intruders.

Destroy, destroy.

Intruders, intruders.

Looks like we have a reception committee.

Destroy, destroy.

And they're not alone.

Just our luck!

Dr Doom watched an Indiana Jones picture!

Johnny, see that our visitors greet each other warmly.

Warm greetings coming up!

Great work, Johnny. The metal is at fusion temperature.

They're welded together, Ben!

It's all yours!

Goofball in the corner pocket!

Sue's still Doom's prisoner and time is our enemy.

This way! Hurry!

You were speaking of your father, Dr Doom.

My father did nothing but good.

And, as fate would have it, his goodness was his undoing.

Hearing of my father's healing gifts,

the local baron summoned him to the castle.

I wished then I had been a man so that I could have protected him.

It was the baron's wife.

And my father could see at a glance she was beyond help.

But the baron said...

If my wife dies, healer, you and all you love shall die with her.

My father knew we had no choice but to run for our lives.

For weeks we wandered through wastelands in the dead of winter.

A winter much colder than this.

Then the ski patrol hunted us down,

as if we were little more than wild beasts.

There they are! Shoot 'em down!

They believed we were dead, the merciless jackals,

but they were wrong.

My father was near the end of his strength.

But his last thoughts were of me.

You have a great destiny to fulfil, Victor.

You must survive and triumph.

Survive and triumph!

The baron's troops caused my mother's death when I was an infant.

And now the baron had taken my father from me.

I swore that day that not only the baron but all mankind would pay!

Revenge!

I dedicated my life to revenge!

One of these passageways must lead to the main castle.

Watch out!

Robot archers!

Stay back!

Another death trap.

A robotic-squid replicant.

Its tentacles are oozing corrosive poison!

Guess we shouldn't go this way neither, huh?

The place is full of booby traps.

Do we try going north?

Or south? Or east? Or west?

Let's try up.

And hurry! We have less than four hours till sunrise.

We've got to hope Sue can keep Doom distracted until we find her.

In the years that followed,

I studied my father's books of ancient knowledge

and I supported myself by performing small miracles

for the gullible and corrupt nobility.

I created an automatic violin for an untalented music lover.

What the?

And then there was my hair restorer...

... which made me the object of a nationwide manhunt.

I was sentenced to die by a firing squad.

It was then they learned I was a master of robots.

But the hour grows late.

I should let you get some rest before morning.

No, no. I'm not sleepy.

Please, continue your story.

You mustn't stop now when you've got me so intrigued.

Yes, I must remember to be hospitable.

And there is still much to tell.

I'm sick of going nowhere!

Are we gonna save Susie or what?

- Dead end again. - No problem.

Let me punch us a door out!

Look out!

Another shoot the chute!

Put on the brakes!

Got to stop or we're cooked!

Feet, do your stuff.

Don't never let nobody tell you your big feet ain't beautiful.

Too hot to hold on much longer.

Johnny, you've got to make an updraft.

- Fast! - OK, Reed!

Get your foot out of my nose!

Flame on!

One whirlwind coming up!

Johnny must create enough of a vacuum

to suck the flame up the flue and cool off the furnace.

And it's working perfectly!

The fire's gone up the chimney, guys! Come on down!

Not a moment too soon. Well done.

Maybe you was well done,

but I was more like medium rare.

Not bad, squirt!

And we've got to do better if we're going to save Sue.

This way. Hurry!

Yeah, right.

Santa Claus couldn't make it up that chimney

but I got more finesse than him.

Don't fly so close down there.

What?

The castle structure is honeycombed with traps.

We'll have better luck coming in on Doom from the outside.

There! That suspension bridge!

Hurry. There isn't much time till daybreak.

The powerful forces I had defied did not forgive or forget.

They hunted me at every turn.

But I was prepared.

My inventions could not be defeated.

My armour-shielded sports car was an indestructible target

which greatly surprised those vicious ignorant soldiers.

My ice grenade was but one of many inventions

which soon brought me to the attention

of the finest university of science in America,

which gave me a full-tuition scholarship.

That's where you met Reed.

Yes, Reed Richards.

The only man who was my scientific equal.

But though we studied and worked together,

he lacked my daring, my fascination with forbidden experiments.

Therefore, I explored

the mystery of space-time transmutation alone.

He warned me not to do it but I would not be stopped.

And then...

I survived, but at terrible cost.

I wandered the mountains of Tibet

seeking oblivion,

until I was taken in by a brilliant order of monks.

Under their guidance,

I learned the ancient craft of molecular metallurgy

and there I constructed a face I would show the world.

From that moment on,

I knew that I was meant to be the master of all!

And I shall be,

thanks to my four superpowered captives.

But you haven't finished your story.

I want to know more.

A new day is dawning, my dear,

and the storm has passed.

The time for the telling of stories is over.

Hauptmann!

Yes, Excellency?

To work!

Manacle my guest and escort her to my laboratory at once.

Hurry!

This bridge is rickety, unsafe,

but it's the only sure way into the castle.

Mayday!

Got you, Ben! Look out!

Don't let go, stretcho!

Hang on, guys!

This bungee jumping is for the birds.

Lucky for you, I've got good connections.

Well, thanks for the melt job, kid!

Now let's find Susie and blow this cockamamie dump.

This joint's creepier than the basement.

- You're blinding me! - Who's there?

Gentlemen, I knew you'd find your way here

if I gave you sufficient time to escape your special cells.

I got a can opener with your name on it, fenderface!

Wait, Ben. He still has Sue.

A wise precaution, Richards.

You see, I knew there'd be too many opportunities for you to get away

if I tried to bring you directly to this laboratory.

So I created a little charade

to make sure you'd come here on your own.

Now, your mission.

You will be using my time machine.

It will take you back to ancient Greece,

where you will have 48 hours to find a certain artefact

and return it to me.

Last night's blizzard would have made your time travel less certain

but there is nothing to stop you now.

Come forward! Every second is precious!

Wait! How do I know Sue will be safe?

You don't.

Look!

The walls of this room will constrict one square every eight hours.

Six squares remain until your wife is very hard-pressed.

You swine!

You've destroyed a perfectly good robot,

but I understand your emotional response.

However, save your strength for the mission.

Mission, schmission!

You said you wanted us to bring back an artefact, right?

Yes.

OK. What's a artefact?

In this case, it is an object of great beauty and power.

Somewhere in ancient Greece, you will find the Coffin of Argos.

Bring it to me, and Susan will live.

Fail, and she dies.

And I shall leave you stranded in antiquity forever!

Now, go!

What the?

The energy from the time machine, it's monumental!

We're fading away!

Subtitles by IMS