Original subtitles

On an outer-space adventure

They got hit by cosmic rays

And the four were changed forever

In some most fantastic ways

No need to fear, they're here

Just call the Four

Fantastic Four

- Don't need no more! - That's ungrammatical!

Reed Richards is elastic

Sue can fade from sight

Johnny is the Human Torch

The Thing just loves to fight

Call the Four

Fantastic Four

OK, hold it a second.

In case you missed the story called Incursion of the Skrulls,

they're evil aliens who seek to conquer our planet.

Would you back it up, please?

Because there may be some viewers who don't speak Skrull,

everything will be translated for you into English

by the mighty Marvel translingual interpreter.

Revolting.

I, Amok-Krall, Emperor of the Skrull,

tricked by the despicable elastic-bodied earth lout, Mr Fantastic.

But he fooled us all, Your Highness,

by showing us those fake movie scenes which we thought were real.

Seeing monsters such as these, you decided our invasion would be doomed,

even with the Fantastic Four out of the way.

How could I know that Mr Fantastic

had assumed the identity of Kok Nal, my own agent,

who previously assumed the guise of Mr Fantastic to discredit him?

I would not even know I'd been hoodwinked

if you had not intercepted this garbage

from some loathsome earth entity

known as cable television.

But I shall be avenged.

This time I shall succeed in conquering the earth,

because I have created the ultimate weapon.

I give you Super Skrull.

Magnificent.

But will he be powerful, cunning and resourceful enough

to defeat the Fantastic Four?

Show her.

These klaxon beam fighters have orders to destroy Super Skrull, starting now.

Flame on.

The flame of Mr Fantastic's youthful friend the Human Torch

will be no match for my champion.

His flames are hotter than the laser lava of Mount Kling-Skeel-Ah.

Collision course! Avert!

Now bring on the cannibal android robots.

Super Skrull's stretchability

makes Mr Fantastic look like a second-hand rubber band.

And his strength makes that crude Thing

look as weak as a ploverian toad-flea.

He is monumental, Your Excellency.

Yes.

I have graded his training report A for annihilation,

and this will be his graduation examination.

The noxious slime slug of Tyrruvial!

His acid secretions can dissolve chromo steel.

We must flee.

What is the meaning of this outrage?

Be proud, Commander. You are a part of history in the making.

Super Skrull can outdo the Invisible Woman as well.

And he also has a keen flair for the theatrical.

- Are you alright, Commander? - One of my more interesting rides.

And Super Skrull has one other special ability.

I do, Your Highness.

But in accordance with your instructions,

I shall not reveal its nature until called upon to utilise it.

Well spoken, warrior.

Now leave for earth immediately

and rain destruction upon all who would block my conquest.

I hear and obey.

No, you can't weasel out of this one, Dr Richards.

You are responsible for damages to my building

and this court order says you pay to fix them or go directly to jail.

That's unreasonable.

The building was damaged when we saved the earth from Galactus.

Balderdash and poppycock!

I have no time for fairy tales.

And extinguish your foot before I call the fire marshal.

- Do it. - Reed.

Now.

I'm sorry for you, Mrs Richards.

I think you may actually be a normal person down deep inside.

But you owe me $150,000 to repair this building,

and if I don't have it by Friday, you can sleep in the subway.

Come along, Foo Foo darling.

Lighten up, guys. Ben's got it worked out.

Since when is Ben a monetary expert?

His idea of investing is spending his entire allowance on Wayne Newton CDs.

He got it right this time. He said this is our ticket to financial independence.

"High Visibility Productions. Manny Friendly, Producer"?

Ben sold our rights to MTV. We're gonna be rock stars.

Benny, are you ready to rehearse your big number?

You got it, Manny baby.

- Cool. - Silence on my set.

I'm Manny Friendly. Producer, director, everything, a hairdresser, a decorator.

- I'm sorry, I didn't know. - Put a sock in it.

What was that?

This is unprofessional. I want to see my agent.

- You don't have one. - Then get me one, you dipstick.

- Look. - Good grief.

A spaceship.

- I've got to get a better look. - Come back.

Nobody leaves a Friendly set until I say so.

This is incredible.

A huge Skrull spaceship landing in the middle of Times Square.

And I think we're in for the fight of our lives.

Citizens of Planet Earth,

I am Super Skrull, emissary of the lmperial Skrull Expeditionary Forces.

I have been appointed by Emperor Amok to be your new leader.

Here are your orders.

The yutz expects New Yorkers to take orders.

He's out of his gourd.

You have 24 earth hours

to surrender all military personnel and weaponry to me.

That does it. It's time to give him the old five-finger facial.

No, Ben. There's a crowd and Super Skrull is undoubtedly dangerous.

You will obey or I shall destroy your city.

Remember, 24 hours.

The Skrulls wouldn't have sent a single warrior down to conquer this planet

unless he had some extremely powerful capabilities.

We've got to see where he's going.

Yeah? We'd better move it because we're gonna lose the bum.

Stop! My rehearsal.

You signed a contract.

Yeah, but so did Roseanne Barr.

Stay well back. We don't want him to know we're on his tail.

The fools are following you, Super Skrull,

just as the Emperor planned.

Naturally. What earth beings lack in intelligence,

they make up for in stupidity.

Now I shall let them fight me on the ground of my choosing.

He's headed into the marsh. He must have spotted us.

Secure for individual reconnaissance.

Flame on. See you downstairs.

Johnny, be careful.

Yeah, and eat your vegetables and don't talk to strange Skrulls.

Disengage.

This could be a trap.

Reed, is my fireproof collar mic working?

- Perfectly. I read you loud and clear. - Me, too, hothead. Keep yabbering.

It's tough to make out but I think I see Super Skrull's ship ahead in a fog bank.

Wait for us. We don't know how powerful he is.

- I guess I'd better find out, then. - Johnny!

The young one shall be the first to feel my might.

Look no further, earthling. Here I am.

I'm coming for you, you creature-feature reject.

You drained my flames from me.

How observant of you.

Johnny! He's been hurt.

He expects you to rush to Johnny.

Wait till I distract him, then do it.

Here comes Mr Fantastic himself.

Right on cue. Soon it will be two down, two to go.

The game is up, Super Skrull. Surrender while you can still breathe.

Squeeze or be squeezed, eh, Mr Fantastic?

Unluckily for you, this Skrull squeezes back.

Johnny, speak to me.

Sis, Super Skrull outflamed me.

And he's matching Reed stretch for stretch.

What unbelievable strength and elasticity.

His powers may be superior to mine.

But not greater than the four of us together.

Now that you have been defeated, I...

We're not through, snake eyes, we're just warming up.

You're about to get even warmer.

You won't harm them while I'm here. Now it's my turn.

Not there. I'm over here.

He's got Sue's power, too.

And more.

With you beaten, I shall...

Yo, lizard lips, it's clobbering time.

Reed, he's more powerful than Ben.

Fantastic. This action will make my Thing video go platinum.

Now it's my turn, pally.

- Ben's winning. - Go, Ben, go.

Odd. That orange-skinned compost heap is demolishing my champion.

Let's get this footage back to the film lab now.

The tide has turned, Excellency.

You get the licence number of that truck?

You have served your purpose.

Now go and tell your people that it is useless to resist me.

None can defeat Super Skrull.

After a hurried consultation,

the President of the United States and the United Nations

launched a strike on Super Skrull at his landing site in the New Jersey marsh,

but the failure of this operation

and the lack of response from the Fantastic Four

left world leaders with only one option.

To meet Super Skrull's demands

until another course of action can be determined.

The march of captive military personnel and their weapons has already begun

with less than one hour remaining

until the deadline imposed by this strange alien invader.

Great.

Super Skrull's getting away with murder because nobody can take him.

And the Fantastic Four's sitting here like the Four Feeble Fussy Guys.

We don't need hmm-ing, big brain, we need big-time clobbering.

Reed knows that, Ben. If there's a way out of this, he'll find it.

- You will, won't you, darling? - I've got to.

But two things puzzle me.

First, if Super Skrull can duplicate, even surpass each of our abilities,

why didn't he destroy us when he had the chance?

And why was Ben able to whip Super Skrull

when Manny Friendly flew by,

but unable to continue doing so when Friendly left?

It's Friendly time.

You still got a video to deliver, Benny, so you don't come to me, I come to you.

Super Skrull is about to destroy civilisation.

How can you think about a stupid music video?

Stupid music is my life.

Sing it, Benny. Come on, man.

It's arresting time.

They refuse to pay for the damages they did, so book them.

What on earth was that hideous screech?

Feedback, lady.

When you just walked between my artiste and his sensitive microphone

you screwed up the flow of melodic energy.

- What did you say? - I said she messed up the music.

I'll give you music, you horrible hairy hippie.

And you're next, you tone-deaf nincompoop.

Now I know how to defeat Super Skrull.

To the laboratory. Quickly.

What about my future in showbiz?

When he comes to, you tell him I'm available for feature films.

If I like the director.

They're escaping, you dolts.

Foo Foo, kill, darling, kill.

Just as Miss Forbes interrupted the flow of sound

when she came between Ben and Manny's microphone,

Manny's helicopter interrupted the flow of alien energy

which was making Super Skrull invincible.

Enormous energy, beaming down to him from Planet Skrull.

So that's why we couldn't take him.

He had a whole planet's power source backing him up.

Exactly.

That's a brilliant analysis, darling.

Yeah, but what good does it do?

It enabled me to build this jammer device.

Once it's been placed on Super Skrull's head,

it may interrupt the flow of energy from his planet.

Great.

You ain't sure that doohickey works

and all we got to do is get him to wear it for a hat?

Well, it's the only chance we have.

Do we go for it or not?

Yes, they will make excellent slaves at the Murakium mines.

Proceed, Super Skrull.

Yo, jolly green goofball. We didn't want you to get lonesome.

We challenge you to a final confrontation.

At Crater Island.

If you dare.

You have just signed your death warrant!

- I don't like this, Majesty. - Nonsense.

The generator which allows Super Skrull

to tap into the full power of this planet is functioning brilliantly.

Nothing can possibly go wrong.

Turkey neck, over here.

It's over, boy.

Now, Sue.

Super Skrull, use your final power. Now!

Gotta let go.

He has hypnotic powers.

Sue, remember how we do it at the beach.

One frisbee coming up.

They blocked the energy flow.

It's backfiring.

Hurry. His disorientation won't last long.

Once Johnny fuses molten rock over the crater mouth,

no Skrull Planet energy rays will be able to penetrate.

And so the menace of Super Skrull is ended.

Yo, what's happening?

It's clobbering time!

Don't watch, precious. Don't you dare. It will rot your brain.

Subtitles by IMS