All language subtitles for Alone.S09E02.Consequences.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SMURF-NHI

♪ ♪

- I can't wait to have
this place try and break me.

For the first time on "Alone,"

ten participants fight
to survive

in the hunting ground

of the world's largest
land predator.

- Oh, my God.
Where'd he go?

Those are bear.

- I heard a big animal.

- Hey, bear.
- Oh, no. *bleep*.

- Sometimes you eat the bear,

sometimes the bear eats you.

Battling
merciless conditions...

- This is some hard core
bushwhacking.

- Why does it have to be
such a struggle every night?

- I hit it, I hit it, I hit it.

- I feel more alive
every day I'm out here.

- Ah.
- Here comes the rain again.

- Labrador, you're not gonna
make it easy for us, are you?

In complete isolation...

- The most dangerous thing
out here is myself.

- Look at that.

- The cold ground

is just pulling
all the warmth from me.

- How many days can this go on?
- Very, very hungry.

- I feel like
I'm hitting a wall.

Last one standing wins.

- Only gonna get harder
the longer you stay out here.

♪ ♪

- The weather here
changes really fast.

- I'm gonna get hammered here.

- I'm frickin' getting soaked.

- Whoo-hoo, second day.
I got game.

- I'm not a weekend warrior.

I've got 50 years of preparing
to do this kind of thing.

♪ ♪

- I heard a big animal.

If I can get a bear, that's
basically the golden ticket.

- Oh, *bleep*,
that's a bear...

♪ ♪

*bleep*, let's move over
in this direction.

- Shot my first squirrel.

I just spooked a grouse.

I hit it, I hit it, I hit it.

There's two of them.
That is a game changer, man.

♪ ♪

- Oh-ho-ho-ho.

♪ ♪

There it goes.

♪ ♪

"Alone," day one.

I just need to let
this sink in for a minute.

What am I even doing here?

♪ ♪

- I can't believe
I get to do this.

♪ ♪

Me, here, Labrador,

by myself.

♪ ♪

- Utter disbelief that
I am allowed to be here.

So thankful.

This is living life amplified.

♪ ♪

- Now it's just me.

Let's get to work.

♪ ♪

It's raining now,
so let's prospect

for a shelter
location.

The landscape here
is spectacular--

very thick brush and woods.

Things to kind of
keep in mind,

there were flash floods here

not too long ago,
so I want to pick a good spot

so I don't
get washed away.

♪ ♪

I know that doing
less work

and accomplishing
the same goal is worthwhile.

I know that picking
a good location for my shelter

is worthwhile because
that's gonna be home for me.

So that's about three inches
of insulation from the ground.

Primitive survival
has been something

very much incorporated
in my life for over ten years.

I did six years
in the military,

in the Canadian Armed Forces,

where I would specialize

in cold-weather warfare
and survival.

So I'm confident about
building shelters

and making fires
in wet, cold environments.

Being in the military,
I know what I'm capable of,

and I'm very methodical
with what I do.

I think I have a leg up
in the competition

because
I'm a general-practice doctor

with a high inclination

towards emergency medicine
and wilderness medicine.

I have a previous injury,
so what I'm gonna do

is I'm gonna make
an improvised splint and wrap.

With my medical training,

anything that you can pull me
out for,

I'll treat
before you get to me.

So no pulse and no bleed

means that's the correct way
to put a tourniquet.

♪ ♪

Becoming a doctor
is expensive.

500K would mean being able
to pay off my student loans,

and then the rest would go

into helping renovations
for my mom's home.

That would be good
for her health.

Thanks, Mom.

I think I can do this

because I'm a little bit
of a masochist.

I love the type of person
you become after the struggle.

I'm a doctor,
and I'm a soldier,

so I have a hell of a lot
of mental fortitude.

I plan on going day 90-plus.

I'm gonna be out there
as long as possible.

♪ ♪

All right.

Definitely
a potential spot over here.

I should
probably set up that tarp.

♪ ♪

My advantage for this season

is my mental approach
to things

just because
of what I have to do

on a day-to-day basis,
trying to save lives.

And the same thing goes

for people with military
background as well.

You have to make very concise,

thought-out,
and effective decisions.

Everything
that I'm gonna be doing

will be very "intentful."

♪ ♪

Definitely not
the prettiest, but...

I think it'll do
what I need it to.

♪ ♪

I can't believe it.

There's a harbor seal
right over my shoulder.

That's so cool.

It's a beautiful place.

Let's get a fishing rod set up.

I'm a commercial fisherman
in Alaska.

I've been doing
that just shy of a decade.

It's very, very physical,
20 hours a day,

every single day,
100 days straight.

And I love it.

It's like Christmas for me.

You just never know
what you're gonna get.

I was drawn
to Alaska for freedom.

I work very hard
for four months.

And then I go
on solo backpack adventures

in the backcountry.

No big surprise
to see one now.

And I truly enjoy
the struggle.

I don't view pain or suffering
as a negative thing.

I think it's growth
and opportunity.

It's a worm.

I've never pushed
myself past 30 days solo.

I'm here to do that.

It'll all be okay.

I'm leaving a lot of people
behind, especially my mother.

I'm going to miss her
tremendously,

but I feel that my entire life
has led to this moment.

I started fishing
when I was three.

Harvested my first
white-tailed buck by myself

when I was 11.

I want to see
how far I can go,

and this is an opportunity
to push myself,

see my edge.

♪ ♪

It's a beautiful,
beautiful, beautiful morning.

Super thankful.

Hopefully get
a lot of work done today.

Before we start,
I'm quite thirsty.

I'm gonna go ahead
and try to find a spot

to get a fire started,
get some water boiling.

I've seen signs of beaver.

Certainly,
there's giardia in this water.

Gonna have
to boil it thoroughly.

♪ ♪

There's camp,
been sleeping under a tarp.

♪ ♪

So, like I say,
just temporary for now.

♪ ♪

My strategy
for the first few days

is to get some kind
of shelter started.

So gonna have
to have water quickly

and find a way
to get fire going.

And then food.

Always have the bow
in the hand

in case you
come across something.

Get those things established,
and I'm confident

that I can stay for an
appreciable amount of time.

♪ ♪

No, no, no.

There it is.

That's all I had
for a tinder.

This is a mistake.

I left it out here in the rain.

Well, whoop-de-do-pee.

Back to square one.

So we're just gonna wander
around, looking for dry...

♪ ♪

Labrador routinely sees

massive, massive rain systems.

♪ ♪

And it's quite difficult
to get a fire started

in these conditions.

I am worried my mistake

is going to be extremely
detrimental to my experience.

Here's a few wood chips,

about the driest ones
I could find.

I think I might
also grab the sawdust.

Oh, boy.

There's the rain.

♪ ♪

We're going to try
our first attempt.

♪ ♪

Gonna try to make
some real fine shavings

and something real,
real dry to go along with this.

♪ ♪

Well, now that...

lit for just a second.

♪ ♪

Hoping I can dry it out
just enough.

♪ ♪

Well, it's getting to the point

where it's almost not
bright out anymore.

I'm gonna spend all day
trying to make a fire.

♪ ♪

Things are getting serious.

It's pretty likely I could not
get a fire started.

♪ ♪

That's terrifying.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- I'm gonna spending all day
trying to make a fire.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Come on.

♪ ♪

That's just an exercise
in futility at this point.

That's just
embarrassing myself.

So, quite thirsty.

I hope I don't get real dizzy
or anything crazy

in the night.

♪ ♪

Silly mistakes out here
can cost you everything.

♪ ♪

So we're gonna try
to learn from our mistakes.

Boy, I bet everybody's gonna
see this and wonder, why--

why did this guy make it
and so many others did not?

♪ ♪

Well...

sure hope I can stick around
to show you.

♪ ♪

- This is a good look for me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Just spit bunchberry
all over you.

It's windy as hell.

I'm headed up the hill.

And I am looking
for anything that's food.

I'm gonna get tired
of bunchberries real quick.

It's also important for my body
to get some proteins.

Got a little
small-game arrow nocked.

Coming home with something.

♪ ♪

The farm I live on
is 325 acres.

I run a serious
prescribed fire program.

It's been really
interesting to burn the farm

and see what comes back.

The areas that we've managed
have become really beautiful.

We blend
regenerative agriculture

with prescribed fire
and natural ecosystems.

A lot of my neighbors
think I'm crazy

for doing what I'm doing,
but I'm a creative person.

The way that I think
about things is not always

the way that a lot of other
people think about them.

This is a Kalahari Bushmen
tracking technique.

You go left, right,
left, right, left, right

on down the trail.

It helps keep them a rhythm.

Once they get
the rhythm of the animal,

they can track very fast.

I was born in South Africa,

and my family immigrated to
the States when I was small.

Shortly after my parents
divorced,

my father went back
to doing his fieldwork

in various places--Kenya,
Tanzania, and South Africa.

And I spent all of my summers
with my father in the bush.

So I spent a lot of time
watching animals

before I ever took one.

It's made me
a more patient hunter

and a more observant hunter.

And, so, when I decided
to start taking animals,

I found that I excelled at it.

There you have it, y'all.

My sweetheart, Ashley, is
back at home waiting for me.

I will miss my family,

but I know they're in my
corner and they'll support me

because I have
what it takes to win it.

- Bye!

- Terrain is so tough in here.

I mean, there's places

where you can't see your hand
in front of your face.

I feel my legs wearing out
'cause I haven't had

any food today
but some bunchberries.

I hear squirrels everywhere,
but they're up in the trees.

Certain times of day, they...

come down on the ground.

My approach is to be
an observer in the woods.

You can be the best shot
in the world,

and you can have
the best bait,

or you can make the best trap.

If it's not
in the right place,

it does absolutely no good.

I'm so sorry.

How about that right there?

Get some!

That's what I'm talking about.

It's a good shot, too.
I didn't mess his guts all up.

Thank you, buddy.
I'm so sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

Looks like we're
having squirrel stew.

♪ ♪

I really wish...

that my father was still alive
to see me do this.

He was a huge inspiration.

He was not
the best dad in the world.

He cared a lot more
about his dreams,

the conservation
of the planet, the animals

than the actual family unit.

Oh, that looks amazing.

♪ ♪

But it allowed me
to spend my summers

in some really
incredible places

working
on his field biology programs.

Going in the stew, too.

He taught me a lot,

and I really wish
that he was still around

for me to show him

that I was listening
when he was talking.

♪ ♪

Go ahead and get the part
I'm not too fond of over with.

Eyeballs and brains and tongue.

Yep, there it is.

Pretty big brain
for a tiny little critter.

♪ ♪

It's not as bad
as you might think.

♪ ♪

I keep looking
over my shoulder because...

the wind's kind of coming
this way off the water now.

Anything that
smells this grub

is gonna approach me
from that direction,

and that's where
the thick edge is, too.

Probably best just to...

keep an eye out.

♪ ♪

- I'm gonna let
the image just get all...

There we go.

I mean, I can't even take
a selfie in real life.

And yet, here I am with a bevy
of camera equipment.

Very sorry
for whoever has to see this.

Right, so we got the trap set.

This is our bait stick here.

♪ ♪

Got yourself a dead mouse.

I'm a tree house carpenter,

and I am also
a professional alpaca shearer.

There's probably less than
a hundred of us in the U.S.

that do it full-time
professionally.

♪ ♪

Hunting, fishing--

those were things that no one
taught me how to do

when I was growing up,

but it was something that
I was always passionate about

and that I was interested in

and something that
I take very seriously now.

But more than anything,
the big X factor I have

is the time
that I spent alone at sea.

I crossed the Pacific Ocean
in my sailboat.

That journey took 90 days.

When you're out in sea,

you have absolutely
nobody to rely on.

You don't know how
your brain and your body

is going to react to that

until you've put yourself
in those situations.

The fact that I have, I think,
makes me uniquely qualified.

I haven't seen the sun
in, like...

♪ ♪

Eight, nine days.

$500,000 would be an absolute
game changer for me.

Oh, look at that.

I work very
physically demanding jobs.

When you work in blue collar,
you have a shelf life.

It would also allow me
to help my family

in ways that I've dreamed of
for years.

I come from a family
of farmers,

and there's not
a lot of money in farming.

I have a girlfriend
that loves me,

and I'm gonna to miss all
of those people a lot.

But I'm doing this
because I think I can win.

It's gonna be hard on my body.

But if I can do ten years'
financially worth of work

in 90 days,

I'm willing to push my body
to its absolute limits

in order
to make that happen for me.

♪ ♪

My survival strategy
is to build

a bombproof shelter
and shoot a black bear.

♪ ♪

I'm building kind of like
a modified lean-to

with a big front
and a little window.

I want to be able to get
some light coming in

during the day.

♪ ♪

So these spruce trees--
we're gonna strip

all the boughs off
and slide them underneath

and layer them like tiles,
one laid on top of the other,

which will hopefully help
keep some of the rain

from getting through,

and that'll provide insulation
as well.

♪ ♪

This is how you
thatch a roof, guys.

♪ ♪

Pretty cool, eh?

♪ ♪

Side walls are gonna be
mostly moss

with logs kind of stacked up
to compress the moss.

Moss is a better insulator
than logs.

♪ ♪

I'm sleeping
in here tonight.

Almost like sleeping
on a Christmas tree

Welcome to my home.

And most important...

♪ ♪

Dog and my girlfriend.

Now it feels like home.

♪ ♪

Awesome.

♪ ♪

So thankful.

Real positive way
to start the day.

Now it's nice and dry.

Let's get us a shelter built.

♪ ♪

The thought in my mind
for a more permanent shelter

is just a rudimentary,
super-simple A-frame.

♪ ♪

So now what we're doing,
is we've got

this paracord stretched out

to determine at what height
I want my lodgepole

so that I can stand up
in the tent.

♪ ♪

I am not a bush crafter.

I'm not a shelter builder.

I live to hunt.
I live to fish.

♪ ♪

But I'm gonna enjoy
the entire process,

because there was a time
where I saw the negative.

♪ ♪

I was a salary guy,
getting paid for 40 hours,

working 120.

I wasn't sleeping.

I'd fall asleep standing up
in the shower.

♪ ♪

And then on January 8, 2011,

there was a 17-vehicle pileup.

I got hit head-on
by an 18-wheeler.

♪ ♪

I walked away unscathed.

♪ ♪

Paramedics
couldn't believe it.

It just made me realize
there's a lot more to life.

All right.

♪ ♪

Well, that's good enough there
for now.

♪ ♪

I am acutely aware

it could be
tremendously worse.

All right, I'm getting
daggone hungry, I tell you.

♪ ♪

Let's go fishing.

♪ ♪

As far as fishing goes,
I'm super lucky

that I have chased fish
literally around the planet.

♪ ♪

Sure fish better
when you got some confidence.

So I think that
there are certain skills,

such as reading water,
that may be beneficial.

It just feels like any cast

could really produce
something memorable.

Fish on.

♪ ♪

Well, that
fish sure is a fight.

♪ ♪

My goodness,
these are strong fish.

They sure have
a propensity to head shake.

Try to get over here
in the quiet water.

♪ ♪

Oh.

Oh, dear.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Can't get it coaxed in they're
going to where I could get it.

♪ ♪

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Fantastic.

Oh, what a fight.

I can't believe
what a fight that was.

We're running out of light.

It's getting late...

but we got a fish.

We got a beautiful brook trout.

We have...

We have something to eat.

♪ ♪

- All right, the last
shelter task

for today is
to dig the fire pit.

So it's gonna start
around here,

end around here.

And I want it to be at least
the depth of this stick.

So let's start digging.

♪ ♪

Coming
from a military background

that operates
in a very cold environment,

I know what components

and what concepts
make really warm shelters.

One of them is sleeping high
and having your pit low.

That way, you're not sleeping
in a cold gap.

That reduces your chance
of getting frostbite,

and it increases your ability
to rewarm yourself.

♪ ♪

So having that pit way
beneath you,

having that heat rise to
exactly where you're sleeping

just increases your chance
of being warm.

♪ ♪

As the time passes,

it's gonna be super important

'cause it's getting colder
really fast.

♪ ♪

I guess
this is actually turning

into a form
of a Dakota fire pit.

I'm gonna have one inlet

that goes right to the base
of the fire,

and one outlet
towards the middle

to help with the smoke.

And I'll be able to put my pot

somewhere around here,
have that flames feed it,

and funnel all
that smoke out that way--

a ground chimney.

And I'll fortify that
with some of the river clay,

to make it fire safe.

♪ ♪

Oops.

♪ ♪

Look at that.

♪ ♪

Now to...

build up the wall a little bit.

♪ ♪

I want it to be
about a foot thick.

♪ ♪

Just kind of hammer it
into place.

♪ ♪

Trying to get rid
of some of those air gaps.

♪ ♪

My girlfriend asked me,
in my mind...

how long would I stay for?

Like, what's my goal?

I didn't really have an answer
for her.

I want it to be hard,
you know?

I didn't come out here
to do what I know

and just have it easy.

I want to try things
that I have never done before.

I want to grow from this.

I want to know myself better.

♪ ♪

All right.

I'm gonna fire it up
a little bit, let it warm.

♪ ♪

There we go.

♪ ♪

Thank you very much.

♪ ♪

All right, guys.

♪ ♪

This is officially home.

♪ ♪

- So today
we're gonna try to make

a streamer using some of our...

Green hair that we dyed for
this trip before it fades...

And...

some of that squirrel tail.

Let's see here.

All right.

We'll just try one for now,
and if it works,

we'll cut all of it off.

I'll go home bald if I have to
if it gets me trout.

So let's see.

Ooh, this is gonna be hard.

♪ ♪

Ain't like a mirror,
everything's backwards.

When I was told

that we were gonna be
on a fly-only river...

Is that mostly green?

I immediately
started thinking of ways

that I could make
effective fly patterns.

♪ ♪

I'm literally
cutting myself a bald patch.

♪ ♪

I'm fortunate enough
to still have my hair,

and so I thought, "Why not
dye my hair a couple colors?"

The pink's gonna be
the hard stuff to get.

♪ ♪

Ah.

♪ ♪

Not pink anymore, really.

Pink didn't hold
its color very well.

It was bright
when I first did it.

♪ ♪

But...

None too the worse for wear.

Plenty more
where that came from...

so far at least.

♪ ♪

My mother
always used to tell me,

"Be happy with what you have".

Got my paracord sheathing...

squirrel tail...

my hair...

my hair...

my hooks.

We didn't grow up
with a lot of money,

so trying to do a lot
with very little

is something
that I grew up doing.

Get my squirrel fur.

♪ ♪

Lay it in with my fur

or some of my fur.

Lay that in like so.

♪ ♪

Grab the green hair...

♪ ♪

Lay that in.

♪ ♪

And we have...

the world's
ugliest streamer fly.

♪ ♪

Taking that into this arena

hopefully gives me
a little bit of an edge.

♪ ♪

See if this works.

Yes, sir.

Little trout.

Little trout, little trout.

No, sir.

Whoo.

Let's get a couple more.

Another nice fish.

Very nice fish.

Well, we got some bites
on my ugly little homemade fly.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

So far, I am crushing it.

Feeling good.

Trying to win us
a damn half a million, baby.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Oh, yeah. Whoo!

Yes! Yes!

Look at this fish.

Oh, my God, look
at how beautiful this fish is.

Holy crap.

That's incredible!

Incredible!

Oh!

Thank you.

Beautiful, beautiful....

beautiful brook trout.

We're eating
like kings tonight.

♪ ♪

I like to kill
and clean my fish right away.

Whether we have feathers,
fur, or scales,

we can all feel
pain and suffering.

That remains true.

I found survival
and bushcraft...

at a time in my life
where I didn't feel

super safe and strong.

♪ ♪

I grew up
in an alcoholic home

and all the things
that kind of come with that.

Fear and pain was part
of my everyday life,

but the outdoors made me
feel strong and safe.

So I latched
on to it really hard

and really
threw myself into it.

♪ ♪

I'm incredibly proud of myself

for just getting
to this point...

and it's been
a super-long journey.

So, even if your life path

goes against the grain
of society...

♪ ♪

No matter what
your passions are,

if you chase them...

♪ ♪

You can do incredible things,

and you can accomplish
beautiful things.

♪ ♪

Being a part of this
is a really cool thing.

♪ ♪

I have no idea
how long I'll last.

I have no idea if I'll win.

And that's okay,
'cause getting to this point

is beyond
my wildest dreams.

♪ ♪

This trout...

is so good.

Holy cow.

So fatty, so oily.

So delicious.

Like, I feel
like I'm killing it.

Like, I'm getting
firewood and good shelter.

You know, hunting and fishing,
and, like, I feel accomplished.

But I can't shake this, like...

this want to be with them.

♪ ♪

Be with my girlfriend
that farts all the time,

and my dog
that bites me all the time.

Nibbles, they're--
they're nibbles.

She's a puppy.

But...

it's hard.

I don't know
what to do about it.

♪ ♪

- Well, good morning, y'all.

It is another...

clear, cold, sunny morning

here at Moss House.

I'm feeling good today,

feeling good
about the shelter.

Feeling hungry
this morning, man.

I need something
in my stomach.

So we're gonna go hunt.

Have a little wander,
see what we can find.

♪ ♪

This landscape
is very unfamiliar to me.

So hunting's just
gonna be opportunistic.

Wah.

♪ ♪

Oh, *bleep*.

Looks like we've got
some bear dung on the trail.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

So...

exactly what I wanted to see.

♪ ♪

I can taste that
bear already.

Getting a black bear
means going

from a constant deficit
of calories

to an overwhelming surplus.

♪ ♪

But at the same time,

we're dealing
with a group of black bears

that are very large,
quite aggressive,

and are trying
to stock up for the winter.

And bears aren't
the easiest thing to kill.

You got to have some grit

to take a shot
at a black bear from 20 yards

with a primitive long bow.

That's not
for the faint of heart.

♪ ♪

That's a $500,000 view
right there.

♪ ♪

And blue skies,
a blessing.

Man, I feel
so grateful right now.

Every day I get to be out here
is a blessing.

♪ ♪

What the heck?

♪ ♪

Oh, *bleep*.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

*bleep*.

♪ ♪

*bleep*.

♪ ♪

Two inches too low.

Damn.

Okay, now I need to go find
my blunt-tip arrow..

which could take a while

'cause it went
through the trees.

Probably
shouldn't have taken it.

♪ ♪

*bleep*.

♪ ♪

Grouse--there it is.

With her that high
in the tree...

It just seems like a surefire
way to lose an arrow.

Oh, but she's so close.
She's right there.

Oh, it's a tough choice.

But I have to try, right?

I have to try.

♪ ♪

*bleep*.

Missed again.

♪ ♪

Looking pretty hard
for my lost arrows,

I haven't found any of 'em.

You shoot out
into this stuff here,

they just kind of disappear
under this pillow moss.

♪ ♪

I mean, it's so
hard to find your arrows.

♪ ♪

As of right now, I feel
like I'm burning daylight

and good solid daylight,

so I want to get back.

But that was a bummer.

That grouse cost me dearly.

I burned two arrows
trying to get it,

so that's not good.

If I'm out of arrows,
that's my black bear...

gone.

♪ ♪

All right, let's take a look

at how our fat reserves
are doing.

Oh, they're dwindling
quite quickly, actually.

*bleep*.

I thought I put on enough
for a while,

but it looks like not really.

Man, that really is...

a lot.

Wow.

That's insane.

Well, you can always do
the "Alone" diet plan,

just lots of work
and no food.

You'll get *bleep* jacked.

Can't do that for a very long.
It hurts.

I feel like it's gonna rain.

And if it's gonna rain...

I need more firewood.

♪ ♪

We learn the most
about ourselves

when we're put
into hard times,

when we're put
into difficult situations.

♪ ♪

That's when you'll start
to learn more things

about how you operate,
how you think, how you work.

♪ ♪

No matter who you are

and no matter
how long you last here,

you will not come out the same
person that you went in as.

You are going to change...

♪ ♪

Hopefully for the better.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I hear a squirrel.

♪ ♪

Here we go.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

*bleep*.

♪ ♪

Oh, over there.

♪ ♪

Got him.

Yeah, he's dead.

Thank you, ol' dude.

I'm sorry.

Well...

Got him.

And although it does...

feel good to be able to pro--

to provide for myself,

I do hate
having to kill these guys.

I don't know why.

I don't know if it's just
'cause they're small or what,

but...

I don't like killing them.

♪ ♪

I'm really sad
when I kill these things.

I don't know what's going on.

♪ ♪

The killing of anything
should never be taken lightly.

I don't know if it's something

to be celebrated either.

Be thankful,
be grateful, but...

you know, don't throw a party.

♪ ♪

It's not fun
watching something die.

♪ ♪

I generally don't have
a problem with killing things,

as long as it's
done respectfully.

♪ ♪

But right now it's
really bothering me.

♪ ♪

I don't know
if that is the alone factor.

♪ ♪

I feel like
if I was here with someone,

this wouldn't weigh
that heavily on me.

♪ ♪

But when you're alone
with only your thoughts...

♪ ♪

It's all very heavy.

♪ ♪

It's pretty tough
not getting that grouse.

So we're gonna go find
a spruce bough

to make into a fishing pole.

Calling that other one a pole
is a little bit generous.

I need to make a real pole.

I'm not looking
for something super long,

maybe seven feet.

And I'm gonna strip it down
at the base

so it's a little bit lighter.

maybe I can get
a one-handed cast with it.

♪ ♪

My family moved
to the U.S. when I was nine.

We moved from a small
industrial town in England,

to Florida
to start a new life

and for new opportunities.

♪ ♪

I was chubby, was red faced,

and had a British accent...

♪ ♪

Which is great
when you're an adult, but...

When you're a little kid,

anything that marks you
as different

is gonna pick you apart.

♪ ♪

I found my refuge,
or solace, in the woods.

That was the place
where I felt most myself,

and I never lost that love.

♪ ♪

So we're gonna take
the grommets

from the tarp here

and make them into...

into guides for the fly line.

We'll just pull out
the bit of plastic around it,

and then you've got
a nice little ring.

Ta-da!

All right,
so we got our rod done,

gonna go test it out.

♪ ♪

Try this out,
hopefully get some protein.

♪ ♪

Oh, my goodness.

It's working.
Hell, yeah.

Let's get another one.

♪ ♪

Oh.

Yes.

♪ ♪

He's a beauty.

Oh, man.

I'm feeling good today.
Feeling good about this.

♪ ♪

Oh, man.

I'm expecting
one every cast now.

I'm missing my family more
than I ever have in my life.

Okay.

Little guy.
I'll take him.

But to win $500,000

would help my family in ways

that I've dreamed of
for years.

My parents have no
retirement income whatsoever,

and they're pushing on 70.

So, to win this competition

would be the greatest gift
that I could work towards.

Oh!

I'm gonna have to dig
deeper in myself

than I've ever dug before.

♪ ♪

Oh, man!

♪ ♪

Now, that...

That's a lovely meal.

♪ ♪

I put the ten little ones
straight in the pan.

I put the big one
up above the fire...

to smoke.

That's enough food
for me right here, for sure.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna work
on my spoon for a bit.

♪ ♪

I was a bullied kid,
but because of that,

I really started to develop
my bushcraft knowledge,

and that changed my life.

It's one of the reasons
why I'm out here.

It's kind of like...

pride in your own toughness...

because that's really what it
comes down to, right?

I mean,
there's been people

on this show...

Who were very,
very, very skilled...

who maybe...

weren't quite as tough
as they thought they were.

But I don't feel
like it's been...

particularly tough yet.

♪ ♪

And I have
to catch myself

and remind myself that...

♪ ♪

You know, it's coming.

♪ ♪

Enjoying each day as a gift,

that's kind of been
my mantra out here so far.

♪ ♪

Every day is a gift.

♪ ♪

I'm not going anywhere.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Tonight
I spent a lot of time

thinking
about the squirrel I shot.

And there's
something that feels

really inherently wrong,

for me, about that.

My whole life,
I've been running

from a troubled childhood.

And...

I...

it makes me really sad

for the only relationship
I have

with the living things
around me

is hurting them
and causing them harm.

I don't like that.

And I had this realization

that my favorite moments
throughout my life

have never been the moments
spent alone in the woods,

they've always been the moments
spent with Catherine and Pip.

So that made me realize...

my whole life

all I wanted is
a little family, and I have it.

So I don't know
what I'm chasing out here.

♪ ♪

As you kill things,

you think about the fragility
of life...

and how it's not guaranteed
by any means.

And I have this life
that I love...

so very much,

and, like,
this beautiful little family

that I've created.

And the happiest moments
of my entire life

have been the moments
I've shared with them.

And by being out here alone...

I'm missing out...

on a bunch of those moments,

and I'll never get
those moments back.

Yeah.

I'm ready to go home.

♪ ♪

This is Jacques.
I'm tapping out.

♪ ♪

That feels good.

I think I made
the right decision.

♪ ♪

I get to go home to these two.

♪ ♪

Get to go see them.

♪ ♪

- Hey, Jacques.
- Hey.

- What's going on?

- I'm ready to let
this place be in peace.

Yeah.

I came out here to test myself
and to see what I was made of,

and I'm proud
of what I've been able to do.

I've proven to myself
I can take care of myself,

but every moment I'm out here
is a moment I'm missing

with the people I love.

♪ ♪

I had a traumatic childhood.

♪ ♪

And I ran
to the outdoors

because I thought that it'd be
the answer to all my problems.

♪ ♪

But I have everything
I ever wanted

waiting for me back home.

And so I'm really excited

because I feel like...

for the first time
in a long time...

♪ ♪

I'm not running away
from something.

♪ ♪

I'm running
towards something...

something really good
and pure,

and that is Catherine
and my life back home.

♪ ♪

And I feel whole,

and I feel like I'm going
back a better person,

a more thankful person.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- I just heard
a grouse land outside.

There he is.

- There's just
beaver sign all over.

♪ ♪

It's freakin' nuts.

- Holy *bleep*.

That's a bear track.

♪ ♪

♪

- So there's, like,
all kinds of squirrels,

right, running around.

And I know how easy it would
be just to shoot them.

Boom, have a few squirrels.

But I don't wanna do that.

♪ ♪

The killing of anything

should never be something
to be taken lightly.

♪ ♪

There are very few things
in life

that are as final as that.

♪ ♪

I have no other living thing

to have
positive interactions with.

Like, you know, without people

to, like, share, like,
the burdens

of the human experience,

there's no distractions
from what you're doing.

There's no love out here.

There's no warmth.

♪ ♪

It's just killing.

'Cause that's
what it has to be.

♪ ♪

The more that I'm killing,

the more I'm thinking

about the impermanence
of it all

and how fragile life is.

It's a miracle that places
like this exist.

I need to give it back
to its inhabitants.

I'm ready to go home.

I wonder how long it's gonna
take 'em to come get me.

Oh, I wonder if they're
gonna bring me food.

Oh, I hope they bring me food.

♪ ♪

I have no idea how long
I have on this planet,

and I feel like I'm--

I'm missing out on moments
that I can never get back.

I'm just thinking that there's
nothing out here for me.

I have everything
I have ever wanted

waiting for me back home.

♪ ♪

I miss the feeling of,

uh, like, feeling loved,
you know,

and, like,
that warm feeling you get

when you're with your people.

From this moment on,
I'm promising myself that

I'm shifting focus of my life.

The new Jacques is someone
that is going to

prioritize his family
above all else.

♪ ♪

- We'll give you
the broth first.

Oh...

♪ ♪

Thank you.

My pleasure.

You are my best friend
right now.

I know.

- If this is squirrel,
I'm gonna kill you guys.

Oh, that smells so good.

♪ ♪

You can tell when things
have fat in them.

I don't know what it is,
but it is definitely

the tastiest thing
I've ever had.

♪ ♪

I'm really proud that I had
what it took to get here.

I got to be part of something
really incredible.

♪ ♪

But I think that
there are certain places

that need to be
left wild and free.

And I realize I've been
chasing, like,

this idea of this
big solo adventurer,

and I feared living a life
of quiet desperation

more than anything else.

But I'm realizing
there's nothing wrong

with celebrating a quiet life.

I'm ready to be
with my family.

I'm not leaving
with any regrets.

♪ ♪