Original subtitles

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♪ ♪

- Here we are at the cache smokehouse,

just pure elation.

I mean, this is such a gift.

- I heard a grouse behind me.

Yep. Yep, I see another one.

That's three grouse.

- Something is not right.

I have some kind of gut parasite.

- Kind of in a pissy mood.

I'm just really hungry.

Here, fishy, fishy, fishy.

Look. Oh, my God.

Get on the shore! Whew, nice!

13, 14 inches. Oh, my God.

- Around the bend is where the beaver dam is.

♪ ♪

Where are you?

If I didn't hit it well, it's gonna just tear me up,

but I guess I could have missed.

♪ ♪

- I can't wait to have this place try and break me.

For the first time on "Alone,"

10 participants fight to survive

in the hunting ground

of the world's largest land predator.

- Oh, my God, where'd he go?

Those are bear.

- I heard a big animal.

- Hey, bear. - Oh, no. *bleep*.

Sometimes, you eat the bear.

Sometimes, the bear eats you.

Battling merciless conditions.

- This is some hard-core bushwhacking.

- Why does it have to be such a struggle every night?

- I hit it. I hit it. I hit it.

- Feel more alive every day I'm out here.

- Here comes the rain again.

- Labrador, you're not gonna make it easy for us, are you?

In complete isolation...

- The most dangerous thing out here is myself.

- Look at that!

- The cold ground is just pulling

all the warmth from me.

- How many days can this go on?

- Very, very hungry.

- I feel like I'm hitting a wall.

Last one standing wins.

- Only gonna get harder the longer you stay out here.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ They say that on the "Alone" show ♪

♪ The food is mighty fine ♪

♪ Well, how the heck would I know? ♪

♪ I can't find much of mine ♪

♪ They say that on the "Alone" show ♪

♪ The beverage mighty fine ♪

♪ My water looks like tannic acid ♪

♪ And tastes like turpentine ♪

Yuck!

♪ ♪

♪ They say that on the "Alone" show ♪

♪ Your image mighty fine ♪

♪ Now I look like Flat Stanley ♪

♪ And walk like Frankenstein ♪

♪ I'm getting very skinny ♪

♪ But I don't want to go ♪

♪ No ♪

No!

All right, that sounded awful.

My voice sounds awful.

I sound like a horse,

but no disrespect to horses.

I just figured we ought to have some fun this morning.

We're gonna call that a wrap on the skit.

A wrap. Boy, that sounds fantastic.

So does a gyro.

All right, I'm ready to switch gears.

♪ ♪

All right, got our beaver hide from the smokehouse cache,

so I'm just going to get all the hunks of fat

from this incredible animal,

which there is a tremendous amount still on here.

And I want to stretch the hide, dry the hide to preserve it

and just to make sure that it is sanitized, if you will.

♪ ♪

And we're gonna start with these big, beautiful chunks

of incredible, edible fat.

I'm eating substantially more of it today

than I did yesterday,

and I ate substantially more yesterday

than I did the day before that.

I mean, I ate most of the beaver

in the last 10 days,

and we're gonna run out of jerky

before we run out of fat, the way I've been eating it

just to keep the stomach

somewhat able to handle the fat.

But I'm just aware that I'm deteriorating,

so I got to throw everything at this weight loss.

Does it make survival sense?

Probably not.

But it's the way my body operates,

and we've got to respect the body

the best we can out here.

I think it's very important to be self-aware.

That's one reason I really enjoy pushing myself.

How do you know how far you can push

if you haven't reached it?

And I come to the finish line...

I do not want my vehicle

to be immaculate and clean and scar-free.

I want to come wheels falling off,

engine missing, throwing fuel and smoke and flame,

and I want to skid across the finish line sideways.

♪ ♪

Such a magnificent hide.

Finally got it fleshed out sufficiently.

We've got some wire here, a couple holes from the Aero.

Just work on getting it roughly hung

so it has better air circulation, dries better.

Put the lid on everything, cover it really well

with spruce boughs to try to keep any moisture off.

We're gonna work our way back towards camp,

get a flame going, and then get an ember.

We'll come back and put some smoke to it.

All right, well, there it is.

Not forgetting to smile over that, I tell you.

♪ ♪

- That's nice.

Looking good.

I just finished all the water I had

in the pot from last night.

The water cache looks pretty full.

Release the line,

keep holding the line...

get pot approximately where I think water might drain.

It's working.

I'm getting this.

Sweet.

Yay, water cache!

♪ ♪

So now I'm gonna be, basically, filling in walls.

Just want to keep drafts from coming in.

♪ ♪

There's more to do, it seems.

But hodgepodge will get done

when hodgepodge is supposed to get done.

♪ ♪

Kinda fit in there.

As a kid, I had a lot of emotional suffering.

My mom is an incredibly loving, wonderful woman,

but part of it was me trying to create the perfect image

and just be a good girl, do what you're told.

And that quitting never really even entered my mind.

You can go right here.

And now you're in the wilderness.

You're in the middle of nowhere.

You can curl up and die, or you can keep going.

More debris.

You just gotta keep going.

♪ ♪

All good?

Getting enough debris to fill in that many cubic feet

is a lot, so I need to be more conservative

and just not try to do things fast.

I just gotta push through the suffering,

and eventually, it'll be okay.

Maybe I'm too optimistic,

but I'm very hopeful,

and I feel like I have the skills and the ability

to win it.

And that's my goal.

Here's the whole wall.

That whole stretch.

It's about 12 feet.

Hodgepodge walls being finished is within reach.

We're getting close.

Without challenge, there's no growth.

There's no black without white.

And there's something that comes

on a spiritual level

when we're stripped down to our basic self,

when all the masks, all the convenience,

all of that is stripped away,

and I feel like that's when I'm the most alive.

What kind of animal

Jesse might be cooking up tonight?

It's a squirrel!

However, this one is unusual

'cause when I went up to the snare,

he just looked so bedraggled.

♪ ♪

But the poor little guy, like,

I was going to, like, skin him out,

and, like, literally his head fell off.

Like, that's how hard something was really trying

to get ahold of this guy.

There's all these little teeth marks in it.

Something else came and, like, was able to yank

hard enough to snap the wire.

It's gotta be a fox.

I don't think I've ever eaten fox.

I've eaten coyote.

I don't mind eating the canines.

Don't worry, your pets are safe with me.

♪ ♪

- What we have here is a collection

of deep fried beaver fat bits.

I'm just trying to pick out the crispy bits that are meat.

Oh, yeah.

So I'm gonna try and mix some bits with the rendered fat.

And you got the melt-in-your-mouth fat.

You got the bacon bit-esque crunch.

I know I'm losing more than a pound a day,

but I'm losing it a lot slower.

I'm definitely getting enough fat in,

enough of it that your stomach is like, "Okay..."

"That's enough at this point."

You know, I can palm a basketball,

and I'm eating more rendered fat

than would fit in the palm of my hand.

1/2 to 3/4 of an inch deep.

I mean, I eat that a couple times a day right now.

Ever since I got this beaver,

I've had such a responsibility

to preserve it in every way,

and that's the project

that takes all of my waking moments,

other than attempting to keep up with hydration.

But I am acutely aware that this is not the way

you sustain yourself long-term.

I just feel lethargic.

Like, as goofy as it sounds,

it almost feels like my blood's thick.

So I need to focus on hunting and fishing

and things of such natures.

♪ ♪

- Come on, man.

That was a grouse.

*bleep*.

♪ ♪

Just gotta keep my eye open.

Should come down to feed eventually.

♪ ♪

There we go.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Oh, man.

♪ ♪

Hell yeah.

♪ ♪

Just like that,

sometimes your dinner wanders into camp

while you're cutting wood.

My stomach feels better.

That was really draining me for a while there.

Already got a grouse.

I'm feeling nothing but good vibes today.

Oh, holy *bleep*.

There's a second one.

♪ ♪

Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.

Stay right on that one.

♪ ♪

Holy *bleep*.

Oh, my God.

Oh, thank you, sweet little bird.

♪ ♪

Two birds,

without even leaving the front yard.

♪ ♪

What a day.

♪ ♪

Okay, we're gonna go down to the river and pluck.

♪ ♪

Very curious to know if I'm the only one

that's been so lucky with these grouse.

I mean, I say lucky.

I've been working my ass off as well.

What do they say?

Luck is where preparation and opportunity meet.

♪ ♪

All right, we'll start on this guy.

Just keep sending them, Labrador.

Ooh.

Cold winds.

A portent of things to come.

♪ ♪

I love it out here.

I'm looking forward to seeing the landscape covered in snow.

I feel that coming soon.

But I miss my family terribly.

Plucking chickens back home, I drop them in hot water first.

Makes the feathers come out easier.

When you're on "Alone,"

you have no way of knowing

your family is okay or not okay,

and that does weigh on your mind.

♪ ♪

But I'm not lonely.

I don't care to be around just anybody

for the sake of having other human beings around me.

And, ironically, I feel

much closer to my loved ones.

It will not be a reason for me to tap out.

♪ ♪

All right.

We're gonna mosey on back to the house.

What the hell was that?

♪ ♪

What the *bleep*?

♪ ♪

Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

Holy *bleep*.

♪ ♪

Check... look at this.

That's a chunk of floating dock.

You know how useful that could be?

I mean, my... my mind's already flooded with possibilities.

Let's go take a look.

I think I can come in from the other side.

♪ ♪

So I've been here a month,

and I haven't found any man-made anything,

and I was truly starting to think

that I was in a pure, untouched wilderness.

And then suddenly, I find

one of the most useful pieces of trash

that I could ever think about finding.

Man, I am one lucky SOB.

♪ ♪

I know what some of you are thinking.

Stick that sucker back out onto the river,

and you got yourself a boat or a dock

that you could fish off of.

Mm-mm.

As a sailor and a boat builder,

this thing ain't gonna float.

But the universe has handed a carpenter

a bunch of boards and nails.

Oh, I'm so stoked.

Labrador delivering again.

We'll take a couple boards home now.

I don't feel like the dock could have landed

on a better shore.

I've got the imagination, and I got the skills

to put them good use.

Oh, man, some good nails in here.

♪ ♪

Immediately, I'm thinking, okay, I'm far from home.

I want to be able to make my site feel

as homey as possible.

Moss House is about to level up, y'all.

♪ ♪

Couldn't ask for a better present,

other than maybe everybody else tapping out

and me winning half a million dollars.

♪ ♪

But this is a good second.

♪ ♪

- So I'm making a lamp

'cause it gets dark in here.

And I know that sounds silly,

but just bear with me.

You gotta be real gentle with this mushroom

because anywhere you bruise it on the underside,

it turns brown,

and I need it white to reflect the light.

♪ ♪

I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't dark

and I could be doing something else

like working on the shelter.

♪ ♪

Headlamp, she sits in here.

Look at that.

Yes.

I'm gonna turn the infrared off

just so you can see the difference.

Look, you can see me.

How about that *bleep* right there?

Isn't that so much nicer for you all to look at

than the crazy psycho vision?

That stuff is just so spooky, man.

♪ ♪

I'm awfully hungry,

but I'm a little bit concerned

about the shelter 'cause it just goes so slow.

I wonder if that's gonna be enough.

Let's see how far they go.

So try to put some shelter worries behind me,

and then I can focus more on the hunts

'cause I don't want to get tired trying to do both.

Yoink.

If I trip over this rock one more time without moving it...

All right, we're gonna do

weaving and stuffing piles.

I'd always rather hunt,

but it's probably the right thing to do.

I know it goes something like that.

♪ ♪

Trying to be a grown-up.

But I don't feel like a grown-up out here,

I feel like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn combined.

Okay, that'll do.

That part of this experience has been pretty awesome,

the freedom, the lack of worry,

the break from things like work and bills and emails.

I feel made whole by this experience.

♪ ♪

This is the original human lifestyle.

I want people to get outside and just be humbled by it.

Will that work?

I'm so lucky to have this time in this beautiful place.

Just that mindset,

I'm gonna keep that when I go home.

Super nice.

Thank you for spending the morning with me.

I feel like I just started the "Mr. Rogers Show."

"Hello, neighbor."

No neighbors out here, man.

♪ ♪

15 squirrel, 19 trout, 5 grouse,

1 rabbit, 1 whisky jack.

That's what I've eaten.

And about a bazillion bunchberries

and some mushrooms.

41 critters.

That's 82 eyeballs.

It's really not enough calories.

It's total feast or famine, and I'm living hand to mouth.

I'm living paycheck to paycheck, if you will.

You know, I'm getting a piece of food,

and I'm just immediately cooking and eating it.

♪ ♪

I'm getting skinny, but I'm getting beast.

My legs from walking these hills, man,

I got legs like a cyclist.

Just heard a squirrel.

Where are you, you little bugger?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Iced that sucker.

Good grief.

That was a good shot, I'd say so myself.

♪ ♪

Hm, more food.

♪ ♪

I guess I'll graze my way on home.

♪ ♪

Hang on a second.

I heard a grouse.

♪ ♪

They're so difficult to spot.

♪ ♪

There he is right there

on the ground.

♪ ♪

Yes, sir.

Can't tell you how impatient I am

to get these cooked.

♪ ♪

I'm excited about food.

I'm sure this looks so gross to everybody back home,

but I'm telling you,

I've tasted them three different ways.

This is the way.

♪ ♪

See, you're not eating the hair.

♪ ♪

The hair is gone.

♪ ♪

Or it will be gone

by the time the squirrel is done.

♪ ♪

I'm not lonely out here.

There's so much life around me.

There's so much to do and think about.

I find myself to be really content out here

and thinking about how special my childhood really was.

And when the skin starts to crack

like a hog on a spit,

it's done.

Taking the things that I learned in Africa

and adapting them to Labrador is really fascinating to me.

Wild places are vanishing,

so it's important to focus on the ethics of hunting.

I want to create a more modern day image of the hunter,

the hunter that cares about conservation,

the hunter that honors the game

with the way that he cooks and presents the food.

They're full of cartilage.

♪ ♪

Oh, yeah, when the joint just pops like that,

you know it's done.

♪ ♪

Fortunately, we're moving into a movement

where hunters are chefs.

Hunters are white collar guys

looking to escape their lifestyle

and get more connected to the land.

It's cooked to perfection.

♪ ♪

- Good morning!

Gotta go a little lower.

I've got berry butt!

I'm making my fruit leather,

and I did want to share the process.

♪ ♪

I keep checking my traps and trying to hunt

and coming home with nothing,

so to preserve these berries,

I'm making fruit leather

so it will carry on to the wintertime.

I'll have those berries when it gets cold

and there are no berries.

It's going rather well.

So it's just on a slow simmer, which, yeah, is a process.

♪ ♪

Look how red that is.

And this is my berry masher.

You don't want any chunks

'cause they're really hard to dry.

I just want as much puree as possible.

To make the fruit leather is a full day process,

so it's a commitment.

When I cook the berries,

I have to cook them down

as thick as it possibly can get.

All the water moisture content out so it's thicker than jam.

Okay, back on the stove.

♪ ♪

To be out here is a little more hardcore,

but at the same time,

it's what I do at home in the fall.

I'm putting up food.

I'm making fruit leather, making fruit jam.

If you leave the lid off, then the water can start

evaporating out of there.

And at home, I'm alone a lot.

I live alone. I work alone.

And I'm constantly go, go, go and never rest.

Now, that's some awesome sauce.

I'm always doing something,

and I was feeling like, "I'm not gonna do that anymore."

I want to spend more time with my friends

and not isolate myself so much.

♪ ♪

On the sides where it's getting dry...

you have fruit leather.

I don't know how long

one can survive on just berries,

but if I don't start getting some meat...

Okay, back on the fire.

♪ ♪

- Got myself a good little sitting spot here.

I feel like I'm waiting for a bus.

All right, next item on the agenda.

♪ ♪

Moss House is gonna get a proper door.

♪ ♪

So the plan is,

keep these four rigid,

this cross beam,

and connect them together

with the smaller ones.

♪ ♪

I'm not going for something fancy.

I'm going for something solid.

That means I don't need hinges.

It's just gonna be something that I can slip into place

in the evenings to keep them warmth in

and to potentially keep bears out as well.

I'm building a door that would slow them down

enough for me to blast them from the window.

Huh, nice.

Don't want to lose any of these precious nails.

For me, this is such a psychological necessity.

♪ ♪

I miss home.

But riding the emotional ups and downs,

that's an aspect of survival.

♪ ♪

That, my friends, is a back country door.

We're gonna keep on going,

see how far this train's gonna take us.

Hopefully all the way to Moneyville, USA.

And I couldn't be happier with my shelter.

It's cozy. It's warm.

It feels safe, and it feels sturdy enough

to keep me in the game

when the skinny ones have tapped.

♪ ♪

Okay, so the door is pretty much done.

Old dock door on old Moss House.

Hell yeah.

♪ ♪

- That's so cool.

Right above me here, there's some species of bird

I've never seen before,

never heard, don't recognize at all.

Let's see if I can find it here.

Where you at?

Ah, there we go, perfect.

Well, thanks a lot for cooperating.

♪ ♪

I love seeing new wildlife, new birds.

Super excited. That is absolutely fantastic.

♪ ♪

Hi, little bird.

Hope you're having a great day.

I sure appreciate you gracing me with your presence.

♪ ♪

We're going to try to slowly work our way down

to the river,

set up there at the first place we caught a fish

on location.

♪ ♪

We can be so blessed, lucky, and fortunate.

My clothing's fitting looser.

I need to put another hole in the belt.

Even my hat is fitting looser, which is a trip to me.

But I am still confident that I can stay

for an appreciable amount of time.

♪ ♪

I think I got a couple teeny, tiny, little strips

of jerky left.

I say we could use some protein.

♪ ♪

It's a wonderful, wonderful day to be fishing.

The two best times are when it's raining

and when it's not,

so any day is the right day to go fishing.

♪ ♪

Really feeling the hunger, the thunger.

Feeling the thunger, the thirsty-hungry.

♪ ♪

I'm still so thankful to be out here,

but I am noticing my body changing.

My stamina? Way, way lower.

I'm constantly thirsty,

and if I stand up a little too fast,

I get really lightheaded.

I can barely even walk.

I get really weak and shaky.

Sure didn't fish very long.

But I've just gotta be careful,

so I'm gonna do it in slow, short, little increments.

♪ ♪

I just want to go sit

and just be.

My stomach has sharper pains,

as well as just the nausea and the queasiness.

I've got a feeling dehydration is a big part of it,

but so is starvation.

Even with all that fat, but honestly,

I think it's necessary to feel pain and discomfort.

I think that we're fed this narrative

we're meant to seek comfort.

I don't think that's right.

I think it robs determination from the soul.

I think it robs strength from the mind.

You know, it's not like I'm purposefully seeking out

an upset stomach,

but I do put myself in situations

where that is an outcome.

But I still think it's a gift.

I think it can give perspective.

So to be here is a true, true privilege.

It has just brought me so much joy,

and the clarity, and the focus you can achieve out here.

So with that,

let's slowly, slowly

work our way back to camp.

Sure not forgetting to smile.

We may not feel our best,

but we came out here expecting that.

♪ ♪

- Nobody likes a lackluster fire.

Think it's complaining

'cause it's already done its job for the day,

made tea early this morning.

You don't have any coals underneath you.

I see.

Why didn't you just say so?

♪ ♪

I can feel the fatigue.

I'm eating a lot,

but I'm still getting real thin,

so, you know, we gotta get more food in somehow.

♪ ♪

I hear my whisky jack.

I got a theory about my trap.

♪ ♪

I'm employing an Ojibwe bird snare.

These birds are just making a fool of me,

and there's this one in particular

that's exceptionally smart.

He triggers it repeatedly.

Folks, none of these traps work if you don't adapt them

to the animal or the environment.

That's the thing.

The noose was falling away from under his feet,

so I'm trying to get it to...

sit up.

We're gonna try it.

♪ ♪

The beaver tanked me for, like, a week,

and it really messed me up out here.

After that, I had a really bad week

where I think I only shot two things,

so that doesn't work for me.

I just set the trap, and it's way better.

If he steps in the noose, I think we got him.

♪ ♪

All right, we're off to stagger, stumble, and trip

through the woods.

Adventure.

♪ ♪

We are on the lookout for...

clean Icelandic moss.

Clean witch's hair,

grouse, squirrels, bunchberries,

what have you.

Here's pretty clean stuff right there.

Still frozen. It's kind of hard to...

peel up when it's frozen.

♪ ♪

All right, back to home.

Found nothing else.

Head on down the mountain.

I try to zig zag down to camp

a different way each time,

hoping to stumble across something.

♪ ♪

We're triggered on our trap.

♪ ♪

I don't see a whisky jack, though.

♪ ♪

I see what happened.

♪ ♪

Noose didn't tighten up.

This damn knot stopped it.

The sad thing is...

he's crushing me at the game,

and he doesn't even know he's playing.

So it continues.

♪ ♪

- All you Canadians out there and people who love Canada,

just follow the rock.

Normal rock, follow it.

Goes up.

I couldn't bring the Canadian flag with me,

but I got the next best thing.

Ta-da!

So I got a little Canadian flag for my shelter.

And let's spruce it up, shall we?

Oh, Canada.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful country.

Would you look at that?

I think that completes it.

I don't know. That's pretty cool.

I like that.

It's gonna boost my spirits,

and...

We're just about ready for that late morning hunt.

So let me put on my quiver.

♪ ♪

In the coming weeks, I think food

is gonna be a little scarce, so...

every day is a hunting day now.

♪ ♪

There's a squirrel.

All right.

So we got one up here,

one over there.

I'm just gonna get these guys ready.

Right here, right here.

♪ ♪

Right there.

*bleep*.

♪ ♪

He went up the tree, but he's coming down.

♪ ♪

Nope, still moving.

♪ ♪

Come down.

That's it. Come down.

*bleep*.

Here it is.

We got a squirrel, finally.

Look at that.

We're eating squirrel tonight.

Let's get some stuff ready, go to the beach,

gut this guy out...

And yeah.

♪ ♪

All right, to the beach.

♪ ♪

When I first signed up for this challenge,

I thought it was to challenge myself.

The more that I think about it

and how much I want to push myself,

I couldn't do this if it was just for me.

I want to do it for the people

that I love at home, specifically my mom.

I just want it to open nicely so I can...

Savor it.

♪ ♪

It's pretty funny what you think of when you're out here.

I was remembering a moment in my childhood.

I remember riding in my mom's black Acura,

and she asked me, "What do you want to do when you grow up?"

And I said, "I want to be like Indiana Jones

or like a modern day pirate."

And I remember what she said.

"That's great, son.

"No matter what you choose,

"as long as you're happy with it,

I'll be proud of you."

Just catch all the squirrel in the area,

hopefully run into some grouse,

and we're golden.

My mom, she would fight for me no matter what.

If something was wrong,

if something needed to be done,

I could always count on her being there,

and I remember her being such a powerful, courageous woman.

Incredibly kind, and she always puts people

in front of herself, even strangers.

But over the years, I've seen life beat her down.

Unhealthy relationships, six figures of debt

for over 30 years,

an insurmountable amount of responsibilities and pressure.

That's done.

And I've watched her health go down the drain.

And she's one of the main reasons

I wanted to be a doctor,

to figure out how I could help her.

It takes an incredible amount of strength

to do what she has done,

and I want to remind her of that.

I'll sun that.

Because everything I do out here, how hard I push,

that's just a fraction of what she's taught me,

so it's time for me to stop trying to be a good doctor...

♪ ♪

And I need to try to be a better son.

And she deserves

to fight for a life

that is better than what she has.

♪ ♪

And if this journey of mine

can inspire her,

that would be worth more than the money.

That's why I'm here.

That's why I'll stay.

♪ ♪

- Today is my mom's birthday, whoo!

I've been counting down the days.

Oh, wait, I got a piece of birthday cake.

Hang on.

It's fudge pudding cake

with lichen birthday candles on it.

Ah.

Make a wish, Mom.

Happy birthday.

I love you, and I miss you.

And I hope you and Dad are doing well.

And...

I just wanted to let you know

I've been thinking about you a lot.

And when I do, I just feel warm hugs,

and I just wanna... I'm so grateful for all the support

that you've given me

and for all the wild, crazy stuff

that I do that, you know...

Whether you understand what I do or not,

you still support me and love me.

And I really feel that.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna go check my traps

if I want some dinner tonight,

hopefully get some.

♪ ♪

I really need to focus on getting food.

I mean, I would love to catch something for dinner

for my mom's birthday.

♪ ♪

My mom, she and I are very opposite,

but she's the quiet, shy, soft-spoken, very sweet,

very compassionate, and I love her.

Oh, my God,

I got one.

Holy *bleep*, it worked.

Oh, my God, after all that frustration, wow.

♪ ♪

*bleep*.

Look, Mom!

I got a squirrel for your birthday dinner!

♪ ♪

I can't believe it.

♪ ♪

It seems to be the theme here.

For every frustrating day,

something exciting happens too.

I'm very determined.

When I have something in my mind

that this is what I'm gonna do, I do it.

♪ ♪

Mmm, oh, my God.

I don't plan on coming out unless I'm taken out...

or I win.

Mmm, I love squirrel.

Wow.

It's amazing, amazing they don't sell squirrel in stores.

Mmm.

Now, this is gonna make my body strong.

Again, happy birthday, Mom.

Bon appétit.

Hope you ate as well as I did.

I hope you enjoyed the birthday cake.

♪ ♪

- Good morning.

I got the message that today's med check,

and since I've got this big fire,

the biggest fire I've had in here,

and it's warmer than it usually is,

I haven't seen myself for a while,

and I probably should not be doing this,

but I just gotta know.

I'm so weak.

It hurts.

It hurts to breathe.

♪ ♪

Oh, my goodness.

♪ ♪

I should be four times this.

I have...

I've never been able to do that.

I've never seen this.

I feel like I can see the bone structure.

I am very concerned

about the amount of weight I'm losing,

but I can slow it down.

♪ ♪

The last 10 years, I have had the privilege

of pushing my body,

and every once in a while, it pushes back.

I survived a plane crash in the Amazon.

I fell through the ice ice-fishing, 20 below zero.

Pulled myself out, hiked out 11 miles

to drive myself two hours to the hospital.

So not to sound arrogant,

but I would not label this as hard for me.

I think I'll be out here for quite a while.

♪ ♪

Gotta keep going.

♪ ♪

- Step on.

- Just to walk 10 or 20 steps,

are you completely out of breath?

- No, but I get light-headed if I bend over too quickly.

- Any nausea at all?

- Yeah, and then some sharp pains as well.

Like, sharp.

- Okay.

Oh, that was a little painful there.

Oh.

- Thank you.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Terry, we're concerned about your condition.

The biggest concern

is you're showing significant signs of dehydration.

You're having some fever,

abdominal pains that indicate a parasitic infection.

Signs are showing dramatic decline physically.

You could put yourself in some serious risk.

It's just not being safe for you to operate out here.

I'm gonna have to extract you from the field

for medical reasons.

- So soon.

So much still to experience and...

Learn.

♪ ♪

Sorry to everybody.

I don't feel that I represented

hunters or fishers,

and I'm sorry to Alaskans and West Virginians.

I, uh...

♪ ♪

As bad as I hate to admit it,

yeah, I hit my edge.

I hit the limit.

I, uh... I could have changed so many things.

I should have foraged far more.

I didn't hunt for the first eight days I was here.

When I harvested the beaver,

I got so concerned with preserving it

that I didn't hunt anything else.

But I didn't,

and I wouldn't change one of those decisions now

because this has been such an experience of a lifetime.

And if I change any of those decisions,

the entire experience is different.

I've been super blessed, lucky, and fortunate

to have such an incredible experience.

10 years ago, after quite a severe accident,

I was drawn to Alaska.

And this is absolutely

another turning point in my life.

Through the pain, through the suffering,

I was thankful to be out here,

and I'm leaving Labrador

with the clarity that everything you need

is right in front of you.

So now I want to go home, consolidate,

and get everything that I'm not using

to people that would benefit,

and then appreciate every day to the fullest,

and live it to the fullest, and pursue my passions

and just hunt and fish and travel all the time.

That's a reason to smile,

and there's much to be thankful for.

♪ ♪

- Look at this.

I counted the rings on this tree.

This tree is 48 years old.

Hardest two sets of woodpecker lips,

48 years old.

Pretty awesome.

♪ ♪

The thing right now is just to finish...

finish the damn shelter.

We are trying to tighten this up

so that I can lay...

'cause we're trying to get to the roof.

Before I get to the roof,

I need to lay one from here up there.

It's gotta be sturdy.

Not finishing the shelter

stops me from being active and doing the things

that I want to be doing,

like going out and getting food.

I've always appreciated food, you know,

growing up without a lot of money,

but I will have a newfound appreciation for food

after this.

It's a really positive thing

to, like, think about how fortunate you are

to have what you have.

♪ ♪

Getting sturdy.

♪ ♪

Whoa, *bleep*.

*bleep*.

Mm.

Whoa.

All right, get up, boy.

♪ ♪

Ugh!

*bleep*. Son of a *bleep*.

That was a bad fall.

I'm gonna have to be real careful from here on out.

That slowed me down a ton.

Maybe if we walk it off, it'll feel a little better.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Ooh, gosh.

My back is on fire.

I'm at, like, a pain level seven, probably,

and I don't say that easily.

Maybe just stay in bed all day tomorrow and rest this back,

but without food, I will not get better.

Without rest, I will not get better.

So what's it gonna be?

♪ ♪

I cannot find a position.

♪ ♪

And I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep

more than 10, 20 minutes at a time.

♪ ♪

And then my leg falls asleep, and my hip starts burning up.

♪ ♪

This is brutal.

I'm not gonna lie. It's pretty brutal.

♪ ♪

I'm not ready to leave.

I'm not ready to call it, you know?

You can push your mind,

but your body doesn't negotiate with you.

It is what it is.

♪ ♪

That's the situation, folks.

♪ ♪

- Trick or treat!

Wow, you look so cute!

Does this whole thing make me seem totally insane?

- Got it.

Yes!

- *bleep*.

- Stomach doesn't feel good.

I will not hit the button, ever.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Yeah. Dizzy. Way lightheaded.

Ah.

I hear the boat

Today's med check.

I don't feel good.

And I don't feel good about this.

- Ready?

- I really feel like I'm getting to the edge

of massive weight loss.

I can tell by my interactions with the production team

what they say, how they say it,

and their body language when they say it.

- It shows he's dehydrated.

He's been vomiting... - There's concerns.

I think they're just seeing the effects

of my body deteriorating and eating itself.

- I am worried about his dizziness with standing up

and the diarrhea and the feeling chill

could be the early start of a parasitic

or bacterial infection.

- Terry, the concern is that if you pass out,

you could pass out into the river

or in a way that leaves you in danger.

Could be a sign of something worse.

Could be a parasite, could be something else.

Obviously the inability to keep anything down.

All of this is concerning to us.

I'm gonna have to extract you from the field

for medical reasons.

Is this how you saw yourself leaving?

- No.

This is not how I saw myself leaving.

I just didn't think It'd be so soon.

'Cause I'm just not ready to leave.

Mentally, I'm not ready.

And it hurts me, and it will hurt me

for the rest of my life, I expect.

But I'm so thankful for the time I have had here

and the things I've seen and experienced and felt.

♪ ♪

I'm absolutely unprepared and very saddened

at the thought of leaving Labrador.

I'm too stubborn for my own good.

I could have done more. I could've hunted more.

I could've fished more.

Could've hydrated more the entire time.

But when I harvested the beaver,

I just got so caught up in just preserving it

that I didn't hunt anything else.

I should've balanced.

♪ ♪

I do believe that I am the type of person

that will push myself further than I should.

But in life,

there is no tap out button.

That's not an option.

So I don't view pain or suffering

in the outdoors as a negative thing.

I think it's a growth, an opportunity.

♪ ♪

Staying 42 days, I feel like I lived two lifetimes

in that time out there.

I, of course, had ambitions

of staying far longer,

but 42 days is the longest solo trip I've conducted.

So I'm really proud of that.

This experience was enjoyable and enriching,

and I'm so thankful for it.

And I did achieve some goals while I was out there

that I won't ever forget.

Through the pain, through the suffering,

I was able to learn more about this incredible place

and what I'm capable of

and just learn things that I hope

I can navigate the rest of my life

in a better way with.

Though, physically far weaker, far smaller.

Mentally, I will be going home stronger.

♪ ♪

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