Original subtitles

Ripped By mstoll

Dude, hurry!

It's back! It's back!

Aah-ha-ha!

We now return to...

"Fool Me Once, Shame On You.

Fool Me Twice, I Punch Your Face!"

Hai! I am Announcerbot!

Whoo! Yeah!

And now here's Shinehara!

Thank you, Announcerbot.

I am Gamemaster Mitsuru Shinehara.

Before break, Clive from U. K.

Fool me once...

Shame... On... You!

Wh-o-o-o-oa!

What is this?

Japanese game show.

Round 2!

Now, Clive, try to fool me again.

Well, I'd like to Shinehara-san,

but you've got some food stuck between your teeth.

Oh!

Announcerbot, please, fetch toothpick.

Ha ha! Fooled you mate!

Yeeah!

You fool me twice!

Baka Blitz!

Dude, he's a goner.

Nobody's ever completed the "Baka Blitz."

You have 10 minutes to reach goal and grab mystery prize.

But if time runs out or you give up, I punch your face.

What do you think the mystery prize is?

I heard it's a bajillion yen,

which is like a majillion dollars!

I heard it's an 800-pound tuna.

You could buy a house with that in Japan.

You know what I heard?

This show is garbage!

Clive, ready?

Go!

Come on! Yeah!

Aah! Oof!

My eyes!

No more!

Ohh!

Why are you guys into this stuff?

'Cause it's funny.

You're a wet blanket, man!

No, I'm not!

Attention, U.S. Viewers.

For the first time ever, we are looking for

American contestants.

During broadcast tomorrow, we will flash phone number.

Be first to call and you'll be on show!

You just won!

Whoa! I'm in Japan!

Land line only.

I know what we're doing at 4:30 tomorrow.

Not on the park phones you're not.

But it says land lines only!

That's a long-distance call.

We could win the mystery prize.

Hm-hm!

Go!

2.2 seconds.

Still needs work.

Hey, Benson.

How's it going?

What's up, man?

What did I tell you about using the park phone?!

Ugh!

I feel something kind of damp.

Yeah, I feel it, too.

What do you think it is?

I don't know.

Feels kind of like a wet blanket.

Very funny.

Now hang it up and put the TV back in the living room!

Aw, come on, Benson!

We really think we can do this.

I don't care.

If I catch you trying this again, you're fired!

M-a-a-an...

This blows.

I can't think of a single reason to keep on living

if we can't be on this show.

- Wait! - What?

I have a plan, and it is the single most perfect

plan in the history of plans.

30 tomorrow.

Do you think he fell for it?

Of course, dude.

I went to art school.

You didn't graduate.

Quiet!

Open this door right now!

Welcome to "Fool Me Once, Shame On You.

Fool Me Twice, I Punch Your Face."

Just show the number!

You two better not call that number!

Come on!

Hang up that phone now!

The number is...

Dude, dial!

I'm dialing!

Hello! We have a winner!

What are your names, contestants?

Omigosh!

What the...

Welcome, first American contestants Omigosh, Er,

and What The!

No, no, no, there's been a mistake,

and we need to leave.

Our names are Benson, Mordecai, and Rigby.

Oh, you fool me once!

Shame... on... you!

No!

We weren't even trying to fool you!

But I thought you were.

This makes no sense!

You fool me twice!

You know what that means!

Baka Blitz!

Baka Blitz! Baka Blitz!

Stop!

Stop!

I refuse to play!

Baka Blitz!

- Whoa! - Awesome.

You have 10 minutes to get to goal.

But if you give up before time ends,

I punch your faces.

Awesome!

Wait. What?

I just wanted to say, we're gonna make history tonight!

We're gonna be the first ever to win the mystery prize!

Yee-ah!

U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Come on! Say "U.S.A." with us, Benson.

Are you guys crazy?!

You guys said nobody's ever beat it before!

Dude, we've watched it a million times.

There's a good chance we'll win the mystery prize.

A chance?!

What if we get punched in the face?!

Benson, this is TV.

Nobody really gets hurt.

Sincerity Spotlight!

You know, we have lots of fun on show,

and I may not show it, but actually,

I hate being fooled.

So it has been great pleasure defending prize by punching

liars in face.

Let's watch.

How does it feel to be the only contestant who didn't die?

I can't feel me face, but at least I'm alive!

Thank you, thank you.

Listen, I... wait!

Come on. Can't we forfeit?

Ready?

What are we gonna do?

Benson?

Come on, fellas.

We got a game show to win.

Go!

Come on!

Do you give up?

No!

Ugh!

Worry not, my pet.

No one has ever made it through the Gutinator.

Hurry!

We can't...

This is what you wanted, isn't it?

It looked so much easier on TV.

Make it stop!

Ohh!

I want to go home.

Come on.

The goal!

Don't have much time.

Huh?

Ohh!

Nobody's ever won, and nobody ever will.

Whoa, whoa...

you can't shoot us!

Shoot?

Wha?

Dude, what's up with your hand?!

It's gone too long without punching a face.

Unh!

Aaaaah!

But you can't punch us!

We haven't given up!

Too bad!

It is my show!

Yaaah!

Run!

Any last words?

Look! It's Mt. Fuji!

Huh?

Aah!

Run! Run!

No!

You fooled me three times!

No! No!

Aah!

The Americans are almost there!

Hachi!

Shichi!

Roku!

Go!

Shi!

San!

Ni!

Ichi!

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Excellent work.

You have won the mystery prize.

Your choice of...

A state-of-the-art clipboard with built-in clock and

calculator, or...

a trip to Space Camp!

- Space Camp! - Clipboard!

Congratulations!

You are the first contestants to beat the Baka Blitz

without being punched or dying.

This means I have failed.

Gomen-nasai, shinahara-senpai.

Hello?

Ready to get picked up from Space Camp?

Yeah, but...

I'm having the time of my life!

Please help us.

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